Loser

by Hoarfrost Skylord

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Comedy
Length: 1502

Many are jealous of his musical prowess, some have sensed the immense potential of him becoming a legend...ye still, the young man is not at all satisfied with his life.

Many are jealous of his musical prowess, some have sensed the immense potential of him becoming a legend...yet still, the young man is not at all satisfied with his own life.

Warning:Contains human and pony sex...in case you're disgusted by such things

Published 2014-04-12 03:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-12 03:20:03 UTC

Joe's Elegy

Joe was sitting at his desk, his eyes glued to the screen before him, which was displaying some kind of tablature left incomplete. Melodies, all of them circling in fragments under Joes sea of mind, and occasionally he would fish out a piece of which; but mostly they ended up being tossed back into oblivion.

Most regarded Joe as a successful musician, yet he was not so sure about that title. Since the accident that occurred seemingly eons ago, where the young man was afflicted with some sort of nervous impairment, which weakened the connection between his brain and extremities, his road of music business had darkened before him. He had tried to defeat his fate, but he still had to direct all his will into playing a single, clear note; the guitarist had consulted more than one doctors, and the medical opinion was always firm that he'd better put down his guitar for good.

Joe could still compose, of course. In fact, his skill on guitar probably would never match the songs he wrote; moreover Joe had a serious case of stage fright, breasting the tides of judging eyes normally subverted his sangfroid, rendered him shaking like one with Parkingsons disease.

Even before the tragedy that befell him, Joe knew quite well there was a slim chance he would ever be renowned for his shreddings; nonetheless, what's the point of being a rock musician, if you're not going to headbang on the stage, basking in glory and admiration? Despite the fact that everytime he tried to steel himself, his heart raced like an uncontrollable beast. Perhaps where he belonged was the virtual world of music softwares; perhaps this world was just not that perfect.

Now he found his head spinning, from stargazing at the computer through an imperceptible lapse of time. Such a genius as Joe was, completing a several songs in one day would have been a piece of cake; somehow the composer had only written a hundred or so bars that night, thanks to all the unsatisfactory materials he had come up, and the ADD that kept dragging him into mulling over his star crossed career.

Not until a sprinkle of dawnlight was caught on his scraggy, unshaven face did Joe enter the magical land of dreams.

Suddenly there was building flash of light, followed by the appearance of a large white pony. The pony narrowed its purple eyes, noticing the stupid young man had yet to turn off his computer, a nasty grin crept on its facade.

Then the white pony gently ambled over to the computer, while taking out a USB storage devise that's shaped after an ice cream cone. Without paying much attention to the surroundings, the equid stepped on a banana peel, and was flung into the air. After drawing a beautiful arc, the horse landed its gargantuan derrière upon Joes face, crushing his zygomatic bone.

Joe cried out in agony as he flailed his limbs on the floor, yet owing to the impressing weight of the pony ass his struggle was soon proved futile.

"Oops, sorry!" The horse spoke in a feminine voice meekly.

As the unfortunate youth's senses returned, his anger began to boil at the sight of a horse sitting on him and, worse still, stealing his unpublished songs.

"What are you? What do you want!" Joe shouted, while clenching he horse's sides, using all his might to move her.

"I'm Princess Celestia, and I'm from another universe where ponies are sentient and rule over all creatures, including humans. But don't worry, for I will leave once I get this finished, and you won't remember any of this after I cast a memory wiping spell on you."

Joe was puzzled by these informations for a moment. After considering for awhile, he spoke calmly to Princess Celestia:

"Can you cast a spell that enlarges my penis too?"

"Sure! But now I'm using my horn to download all your songs before I delete them, so you'll have to wait...hey!"

Out of a sudden, Joe unplugged Celestias horn from his computer with the agility of an eagle, before placing it on his forehead.

"No!" Celestia cried in panic as she was being left by a yellow aura that enveloped her, then tossed her aside.

The young man burst into an evil laughter, using his newly gained magic power to fix his neuron system and most importantly, to replace his frail penis with a fearsome 20inch stallion cock.

"You think you can simply sneak into my room, plunder all my works and claim yourself the bellwether of black power Christian metal? I think not!" Joe said while unzipping his pants, "now you have to pay for this silly scheme of yours."

"Mercy! I swear I will never do that again!" To her despair, she was then muted by a massive cock that shoved down her petite mouth. The fierce fellatio went on for minutes, until Joe pulled out his length. Finally getting her moment of respite, the pony princess grasped for oxygen eagerly, face red from the brutal cocksucking.

Then Joe levitated the both of them across his room that's strewn with garbages, to the opposite wall.

Celestia gasped in surprise as a strong hand pinned her to the wall, followed by her pink, glistening pussy being probed.

"Why are you doing this? Travel across the parallel universes just to steal my songs, I'm curious." Said Joe, at the same time rubbing his delicious meat against the sexy pony princess's red slit, one hand groping her silky smooth butt.

"I...I've always yearned to be a l..lengendary metal m..musician, but...I just don't have the knack! I mean..." Celestia confessed with a exasperated, quivering tone,"I've mastered all kinds of instruments! Accordion, bagpipe, clarinet...you name it, I can play it with ease! But there's only one thing I lack..."

The princess began to sob quietly, before continuing: "The gift of songwriting! Darn it, since the Internet became prevalent throughout the multiverse, ponies have gone crazy about you! Even though you can't play your main instrument well... It...it's just not fair!"

John nodded. "So you think it should be you, who was able to create those masterpieces. I can totally understand that, but it's still foolish of you not to ask me politely. Sorry, your highness, but now you shall be punished."

"Just fuck me already!" Screamed Celestia, her restraints finally crumbled. A high pitched eek escaped the white, beautiful pony's mouth the moment she felt Joe's stallionhood push open her vaginal walls.

Joe then started fucking Princess Celestia up the wall relentlessly, eliciting loud moans from the white mare. Her guarded front hooves phrenetically scraped against the wall, tearing down a Nightwish poster in the process. Meanwhile Joe's mind was clouded with the pent up anger from the composer's block and his semen, which was overwhelming due to months of no-fap. He didn't even have a horse fetish, yet somehow he was able to channel those negative emotions into his mighty new dick, which was thrusting in and out with frightening pace and power.

The wet slapping sound quickened as the furious musician human's climax drew near, he grunted ferally as he smacked Celestia's sun cutiemark, drawing a sonorous moan from the sexshy pony.

Unfortunately for Joe, the door to his room opened, in walked an angry looking Caucasian woman. Joe turned and furrowed his brow at her interruption.

"WTF? I was wondering when you will fucking finish another song so I can pay my $100 phone bill...so you are busy fucking a goddamned horse all the time!" Ranted the woman meniacally.

"Shut up, bitch! And get outta my room."

Seeing that Joe had somehow turned from a feckless wimp into a lust driven beast, with a monstrous rod, the woman shut up in defeat then walked away.

"I, I'm cumming!" Celestia yelled, her face devoid of emotions due to the glorious pounding she'd received. A geyser of sex juice squirted from her marehood right after Joe pulled out his dick on time, which too shot a several streaks of yellowish man seed that landed all over Celestia's silky smooth sweaty pristine coat. Owing to the lack of sleep Joe collapsed to his garbage scattered floor and began to snort peacefully. Surely this epic coitus would soon be recorded into both human and pony histories.

Later that day, Joe found himself awaken in the colorful land of Equestria, instead of being mad at the stupid princess for bringing him to this ridiculous world without his permission, the metal artist was totally cool with that, being a misanthrope that he was. The lucky human married Princess Celestia shortly after, and made awesome music in corporate with the greatest Equestrian musicians; also, he bedded an uncountable amount of mares because he was sexy as hell.

And then everyone lived happily ever after.

The End

Author's Note

Can't believe I actually wrote this for my first story, well I'm prepared to be drowned by the coming downvotes.