Undead and Unconcerned

by Banjo64

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1544

The zombie apocalype has come. And gone. And nopony seems to care.

The zombie apocalype has come.

And gone.

Half of Equestria doesn't even notice.

The other half doesn't seem to care.

Picture by Alasou

Published 2014-04-15 15:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-15 15:00:04 UTC

Chapter only

Spike woke up to face the new day like any other after the zombie apocalypse had come. He got up, brushed his teeth, and headed downstairs for breakfast.

“Morning!” he greeted Twilight, who was, as usual, reading a book with her remaining eye. The other one had been missing for a while now.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

Spike made his way to the kitchen and made himself some scrambled eggs.

Twilight didn’t eat anything. She hadn’t eaten anything for weeks now. Probably because she had a hole where her stomach was supposed to be.

After eating and putting his dirty dish in the sink, Spike went back into the library proper.

“So... anything on the schedule today?” he asked.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

“Of course. So... you won’t need me for anything today?” asked Spike.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

“You sure? I was hoping to go gem hunting with Rarity.” said Spike.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

“Ok then, see you tonight!” said Spike as he headed out the door.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

Morning in the apple household came later than usual. Likely because the rooster hadn’t crowed, as he didn’t have a head anymore.

Still, the apple family woke up to greet the day in their tried and true routines.

“Apppppplessssss...” moaned Applejack.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Eeeeeyup…” moaned Big Mac.

Granny Smith didn’t say anything.

After a few minutes, the family meet in the kitchen to eat a healthy breakfast of various apple goods. At least, they would have if they needed to eat anything.

“Apppppplessssss...” moaned Applejack.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Eeeeeyup...” moaned Big Mac.

Granny Smith didn’t say anything.

As they had started the day a bit late, Apple Bloom had to go straight to school. She grabbed her bags in her rotten jaw and dragged herself out the door. Applejack put her hat on her exposed brains and hobbled her way out to the fields. Big Mac put his trusty collar on, and followed after his sister.

“Apppppplessssss...” moaned Applejack.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Eeeeeyup...” moaned Big Mac.

Granny Smith watched as her family set out.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only pony here with half a brain left. They all forgot to eat! Again!” she said.

Big Mac came back in with a blush on his face. he was still half asleep.

“Eeyup...” he said.

Rainbow Dash’s morning was not so typical. She woke up at the sound of something crashing through her front door.

Or rather, somepony.

With a resentful sigh, Rainbow forced herself out of bed to see who owed her a new door.

Unsurprisingly, it was Derpy.

“Morning, Rainbow Dash! I have a letter for you!” she said.

“Sigh... morning, Derpy.” said Rainbow Dash.

The letter turned out to be from the weather department. Apparently, as one of the few remaining non-zombie pegasi in Ponyville, she was being promoted. Again.

But then her half-asleep brain remembered that Derpy was missing a foreleg.

“Wait... Derpy, aren’t you a zombie?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Oh! Right, I forgot again.” said Derpy before she fell over on the floor and laid still.

Rainbow face-hoofed.

“You’re UNdead, Derpy. Not dead.” said Rainbow Dash.

“Oops. My bad.” said Derpy.

Fluttershy didn’t wake up until well into the afternoon. This was intentional: many of her animals needed to stay out of the sun to keep from getting burns on their exposed intestines, so she usually went to bed earlier in the morning.

True, she had taken the longest of everypony in town to get used to the whole zombie apocalypse thing, but she wasn’t about to a let a little thing like a zombie plague keep her from taking care of her animal friends.

And it wasn’t that bad. She didn’t have to pay for food anymore. And her little Angle had become such a nice bunny after he lost his entire lower body, even if he started moaning a lot more than he used to.

Still, Fluttershy did everything she could to make him feel better. Even if she couldn’t give him carrots anymore, she could still give him and the rest of her animal friends the next best thing.

After freshening herself up, Fluttershy made her way downstairs to great the new day.

“Good morning everyone. Who wants to gnaw on my head first today?” she asked.

Rarity, it turned out, didn't need to go gem hunting today. Spike didn’t really care, as he still got to spend time with his crush.

“Spike, could you be a dear and fetch me some ruby string? This suit needs a few more stitches before I begin the finishing touches.” said Rarity.

“Sure thing!” said Spike as he ran off.

She hummed and tittered around the unfinished suit in question.

“I still can’t decide whether I should try to highlight the stallion’s missing jaw, or draw the eye away from it. On the one hoof, any form of rot from this horrid zombie plague is untasteful. But on the other hoof, it has more or less become a trend.” she said to herself.

“I suppose I could try to do both... draw attention away from the ruined flesh while still making it more... profound. But the colors of such an attempted would most certainly clash! Unless... IDEEEAAAA!” she sang out.

“This could be the next big thing! I just need to determine what colors go well with a pony’s inwards!”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake had come to accept certain things in their time working with Pinkie Pie. Her... unique talents had long since opened their eyes to the idea that ‘impossible’ wasn’t a word in her dictionary.

Never the less, the zombie apocalypse had given Pinkie another way to remind everyone than any effort to understand her would be hopeless.

“PARRRRTYYYYYY!” Pinkie somehow sang and moaned at the same time. “PARRRRTYYYYYY!”

Business had been slow for the party mare after it became apparent that zombies don’t eat anything. Not that this fact had stopped her from throwing a bash right then and there.

The occasion? ‘Happy Fifth Week of the Zombie Apocalypse!’

But that wasn’t the reason Mr. and Mrs. Cake were shaking their heads in disbelief.

“PARRRRTYYYYYY!” Pinkie sang. “PARRRRTYYYYYY!”

“How can she sing, let alone talk, when she doesn’t have a head?” asked Mr. Cake.

After school (Cheerilee unfortunately wasn’t a zombie), the CMC meet up in their club house for another day of crusading.

“Ok, girls, what’s the plan for today?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Raaaaainboooooow...” moaned Scootaloo.

“Ok! Well, next on the list is… balloon flying! You girls up for that today?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Raaaaainboooooow...” moaned Scootaloo.

“Ok! CUTIE MARK CRUSADIERS BALLOON FLYERS! YAY!” yelled Sweetie Belle.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Raaaaainboooooow...” moaned Scootaloo.

Celestia sat patiently as Luna read her the latest report.

“Well, the plague has finally been successfully contained. Our non-infected population has nothing left to fear from their undead-brethren.” she said.

“Suuuuun...” moaned Celestia.

Luna signed.

“It wasn’t funny the first time, Tia.” she said.

Celesta giggled. She thought it was funny.

“Also, we received word that, while the plague never made it far from Equestria’s borders, the wastelands were struck.” said Luna.

“Oh? What became of the Changelings?” asked Celestia.

“Discord is looking into it right now. Apparently there’s no immediate danger.” said Luna, “Though I hesitate to take his word for granted.”

"I see. And he still denies any involvement in this?" asked Celestia.

"Indeed. Though I must wonder why it took three weeks for anypony to even notice that this plague was even spreading. Surely somepony would have noticed the decaying flesh and repetitive moaning." pondered Luna.

"Considering how long it took Spike to notice Twilight was missing an eye, let alone undead, I can't say I'm surprised." answered Celestia, "Some of our little ponies are just that predictable, I suppose."

“Loooove...” moaned Chrysalis.

Discord and Queen Chrysalis’s personal assistant just looked at each other, not sure how to address the horribly bloated and deformed shape of the changeling queen.

“Loooove...” moaned Chrysalis.

“Er... my queen?” asked the assistant.

“SHUT UP FRANK! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M SUFFERING SEVERE INDIGESTION RIGHT NOW?” shrieked Chrysalis.

Discord gave up, and burst into a fit of laughter.

“I must say, even I was surprised that zombie changelings actually create love instead of taking it. It has certainly done wonders for your figure, oh queen.” he said.

“Shut it, and get me some Tums or something! Ugh... my poor stomach...” moaned Chrysalis.

Prince Shining armor and Princess Candace looked nervously at the letter in front of them.

“So... zombies.” said Shining Armor.

“Apparently.” said Cadence.

“And my sister is one of them.” said Shining Armor.

“Unfortunately, yes.” said Cadence.

“And no one even noticed anything was wrong with her for three weeks.” said Shining Armor.

“Yep.” said Cadence.

...

“You know, I wonder if any of our guards are zombies, but we just haven't noticed yet.” said Shining Armor.

“Probably. What do you think, Flash Sentry?” asked Cadence.

“Twiiiiliiiiight...” moaned Flash Sentry.

Author's Note

Short, silly, stupid story from a short, silly, stupid idea.

Enjoy.

Also, can anyone tell if Scootaloo's a zombie? She seems perfectly normal to me.