Day 1: DepressionView OnlineMood SwingsDay 1: DepressionPinkie Pie sat awake in bed unable to fall into the blissful depths of reverie. Her mind was in turmoil, between emotion. Between reason and chaos. She tried to think but thoughts wouldn't come, nothing but energy seemed real to her. Her mind flashed with memories, fond and forgotten alike. Eventually she fell asleep. She woke, much later than she wanted to, midday. She had slept well but she was overtaken with tiredness, it was until an hour later that she was finally able to take her first steps out of bed. She made her way to her bathroom. Her mirror must be broken she thought, as the pony within had straight hair and looked faded. Pinkie knew that wasn't her so she chuckled, until she ran her comb through her hair and realised she was the pony trapped in the mirror. Nothing she could do would fix her hair, that upset her greatly, she didn't know why. The trip down the stairs was hard, as during the journey she started to doubt whether she should've even gotten up. She had nothing to look forward to. It was after one by the time she made it down the stairs, luckily it was Sunday and she didn't have too work. But the fact that she had slept so long weighed heavily on her conscience. The walk through town was straightforward, no distractions. No one noticed or needed her. She reached the marketplace and wandered around admiring all of the stalls Out of the corner of her eye she saw a white coat and purple mane move in her direction. "Pinkie what a pleasure to see you today" her friend greeted her happily. "Yeah you too rarity" she bleakly replied. "Oh whatever is the matter dear, you seem down and your mane-" she was cut off. "Yes I know my mane, It looks terrible, I should've done something about it, well yeah I tried , but nothing would change it" she irritably scolded her unicorn friend. "Sorry Pinkie, I didn't mean anything I was merely observing" the unicorn replied. " I'm so sorry for snapping at you like that I didn't mean it really, it's just I'm really not feeling my regular ol' pinkie self today and I don't know why and I spent ages trying to fix my mane and nothing would, I really didn't mean" she had worked herself up to tears. "Oh no my dear, don't worry yourself, I understand. I hate it when some pony comments on my mane if I've had trouble with it" rarity assured "Darling don't worry it okay" she leaned in to hug her distraught friend. "Sniff...thanks R-R-Rarity...I really... Sniff needed that right n-now" Pinkie sobbed into rarity's shoulder. "No problem pinkie, you would be there for me, so it is only fair of me to do the same, not to mention denying a friend a hug isn't very generous now is it" Rarity replied softly. After a few minutes they broke the hug and said their goodbyes and went their separate ways Pinkie continued her aimless pacing around until it was well after dark, the downtrodden part pony slowly made her way to her home. She couldn't get to sleep any easier...
Day 2: DepressionView OnlineMood SwingsDay 2: DepressionHer journey to sleep was harder than yesterday. Instead of inability to think straight, she could think nothing but of her own shortcomings, mistakes and failures. The end result was a feeling of worthlessness, so great she thought even her best friends hated her company and wanted nothing to do with her. She knew that it couldn't be, that every pony loved her, her mission in life was to make sure every pony was happy. But she felt that there was no one to make her happy. She realised the only one who she could be happy with was herself. She stayed up, partly because she couldn't get to sleep but mostly because the only time she was free from the judgement of the other ponies was shorn she was alone. So she stayed up not doing particularly anything, except enjoying the isolation. But eventually her eyelids betrayed snd she fell into unconsciousness. She woke up very tired. She had had to wake up earlier so she could work at the bakery. Not bothering to check her reflection, she traipsed down the stairs. She was greeted by mr cake. "Good morning Pinkie, did ya enjoy your weekend" "Oh hi Mr. Cake, y-yeah my weekend was super fantasterific" she glumly replied adding a shaky smile for authenticity. "Pinkie is something the matter?" The stallion moved closer to the pink mare "it's just your mane isn't as fluffy as it usually is and you usually are in the kitchen before I am" Mr. Cake asked with genuine concern. What pinkie heard was "your mane is wrong, you're wrong, you should've been working three hours ago, now get go work." Pinkie in her already saddened state was completely surprised by this and didn't know how to react. So she broke down crying. "Pinkie what's the matter, why are you crying" the older stallion asked. "Why did you say that, I sh-should already b-be working, I'm always working early, it's the one d-day I don't and you yell at me for it" pinkie was inconsolable. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Pinkie, you know I think of you like my own daughter" mr cake softly said. "It's okay Mr. Cake" Pinkie had visibly calmed down. "Do you think you're okay to work today Pinkie, it's understandable if you don't though" mr cake asked. "Yeah I'll work today" Pinkie replied. Pinkie thought that working would be a good distraction from her sadness. But every tiny mistake she made, caused her to feel worse. After her day was done. She headed straight to bed. She didn't want to sleep, she just wanted the isolation. 6 MONTHS LATER Pinkie had continued to feel progressively worse, in the beginning her friends had always been there for her, but as she continually showed no signs of improvement, they grew distant. Not avoiding her, but still spending less and less time with her. This made her feel even worse. Each day was exactly the same, long and painful. But she was too strong to give up.
Day 183: ManiaView OnlineMood SwingsDay 183: ManiaFor the first time in six months, Pinkie didn't wake up tired, she decided to look in the mirror today, something she hadn't done in along time. And she squealed with joy and burst out laughing at what she saw. Her mane was poofy as it used to be. To her this was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen. She started to realise that there was no reason for her to be sad, she had great friends, a great job and she lived in a great town. She felt happy, she felt normal again. She bounced down the stairs yelling good morning to the Cakes as she ran out of the bakery. There was something she had to do. She ran to her nearest friends house, Twilight's house She ran up to the front door pounding on it and yelling for Twilight, ponies walking by gave her odd glances but she didn't care. She had never been so happy. Twilight came down and opened the front door. "Pinkie p-" she was immediately cut off by the seemingly hysterical party pony. "OMYGOSHTWILIGHTOHMYGOSHYOUWONTBELIEVEBUTKNOWHOWIHAVENTBEENFEELINGSOSUPERPINKIEISHFORTHELASTCOUPLEOFMONTHSBUTGUESSWHATTODAYIFEELAMAZINGIFEELSOHAPPYANDSOGOODTHISISLIKETHEBESTDAYEVERANDIKNEWTHATIJUSTTOTELLSOMEONEANDYOUWERETHECLOSETSOICAMETOYOUANDHERIAM" pinkie yelled emphatically. "Oh pinkie that's wonderful, I'm so glad your feeling better, do you have any idea why you're feeling better all of a sudden?" Twilight asked with genuine interest. "NO I HAVE NO IDEA AND I DONT CARE" the hysterical mare yelled oblivious to her friends attempts to tell her to calm down. "Pinkie please, it's really great that your feeling better but can you please keep it down, you're making a scene, ponies are staring" "What what do mean, you want me to calm down because they don't like it, I have been depressed for like 6 months and now I'm finally happy again and you think. I. Care. About. Them. What did they do to help me NOTHING" pinkie pie fumed with venom lining her words. "Pinkie that was pretty mean, and unnecessary, I was just saying that you should be a bit quiet and then you over reacted" twilight stated coldly. "OVER REACTING. ME. what the hay are you talking about twilight. I didn't buckin over react, you just out and out insulted me for no reason. No wonder you didn't have many friends before you met me, bitch" pinkie spewed mercilessly then stormed off. "That was weird, very weird" wondered twilight watching her friend storm off. Pinkie ran through the marketplace, purposely bumbling into ponies and yelling obscenities at them. She went up to stalls and threw the items on display away. She was oblivious to anyponys reaction. She was having the time of her life.
Day 228: RelapseView OnlineMood SwingsDay 228: RelapseThe past 50 or so days had been strange for pinkie. She went from being slightly over the top pinkie to crazy super intense pinkie. At night she barely slept, though she never felt tired. Her friends had gradually distanced themselves from her because she was bad company. She would ignore her friends when she was with them, or she would act, however she wanted and immediately became dangerous to be around. Today she felt normal. She was going to set a few things straight. She found each of her friends and had a heart to heart with them sincerely apologising for her actions, and saying she didn't mean anything she may have said or done. But most of all she wanted to get help. She made her way to the Ponyville psychology clinic to book an appointment. Luckily for her there was an opening later in the afternoon. She went out to get some lunch, during her meal she pondered what she would say to the doctor. That wonder turned to worry when she thought of what he might tell her. With her mind preoccupied with thought time flew, and before she knew it. It was time. "Pinkie pie" a brown unicorn stallion called. Pinkie got and followed the unicorn to the room. "Nice to meet you ms. Pie my name is Dr. Horn, I understand you haven't been feeling too well recently" Dr. Horn said warmly. "Yes doctor I haven't been feeling good at all for the last eight or so months, and it's made me sad because I was mean to my friends so I came for help" "What do you mean by not feeling so good?" Asked Dr horn. "Well one day I got up and felt absolutely horrible, I felt hopeless, worthless and pointless," pinkie started to fidget nervously. "It was like all the light had been sucked out off my world, my pinkie brain even tricked me into believing that my friends didn't like me anymore." "That sounds awful pinkie, may I call you pinkie-" she nodded "-did you feel like this everyday?" Dr horn made a few notes. "Yes I did until one day, I didn't feel sad anymore, instead I felt so much better than I normally would" pinkie recounted. "I felt like everything was an opportunity and I could do anything, but I also felt as if I was better than every pony else" The doctor continued to write. "Please go on pinkie" "Well I remember the first day I felt like this, I went to my friend twilights house and I was yelling, she told me to be a little quiter so I called her bitch and ran off" "His long ago was this pinkie?" Dr horn asked with a serious look on his face. "About 2 months ago maybe, but things just got worse from there, my friends started to avoid me" "Why did they do that?" "Because I started to care so little I became dangerous" the pink mare said with hurt in her voice. After another half hour of similar questions, the doctor had come up with an answer. "Pinkie to me it seems that you are suffering from an illness called Bipolar I" Dr horn worriedly said. "What does that mean doctor. Pinkie asked meekly expecting the worst. "Well pinkie it means that sometimes you will be in the depths of despair or the mountain tops of mania, rarely will you be balanced like you are now" the doctor said grimly. "We have medication for this condition, these pills will help stabilize your mood" dr horn levitated a pill bottle. Lithium. "So what should I do now doctor" asked pinkie. "Well I think you should tell your friends and let them know, friendships are very important in dealing with mental illness." So after paying her cues she went out into the bustling Ponyville in search of her friends.
Day 958: RecoveryView OnlineMood SwingsDay 958: RecoveryThe past two years had been like none she had ever experienced, her friends upon discovering her condition vowed to help her deal with it. They certainly had never broken thaht promise. The medications were helping too; she rarely had a full mood episode, mostly just minor episodes which were easily managed. For the first few months she had desperately wished things could return to how they were. But this never happened. As the days turned to months and years, she embraced her new life. She realised that sometimes the only way to go forward is to take a left turn. And she was so glad she did.
