A's Life on Equisby A the OC alicorn spartanChaptersFeet FirstQ and AUgh!Bow Ties and BikersThe SearchFighting in 3rd PonyThe ChallengeThe New FoalFeet FirstGermany, 2100. *Thud!* The sounds of fist on face echoed throughout the small, dark room as a man repeatably punched the soldier strapped to the chair before him. "What are the launch codes?" "What makes you think I know?" The man jerked his thumb to corpse in the corner. "Your friend said one of the soldiers in your group knew the codes and only one.He didn't know them and you where the only one left." The man in chair chuckled as he looked up to the man in front of him. "Sorry asshole, but more than two people went on this mission." Before the man could question this, a piece of shiny blue material burst through his mid-section. The man fell to the floor revealing, what most would call a short man, but the man in the chair knew better. "Took ya long enough A." POV shift: A I looked my friend and smirked. "So I take it that you need me here every 10 minutes?" I teased. "No,but 10 minutes earlier would've been nice." He pointed to the corner where I knew Bob was. "I know. I was slow, but we're not leaving him here." I pulled out a USB drive from my pocket. "I got the data we where supposed to get so grab Bob and get ready to leg it.I set some bombs to go off in 10 and exfill will be at the evac site in 8 so we gotta split." He grinned as I cut his restraints off with my trusty diamond sword, which some called old-fashioned or overcompensating but I liked it, and grabbed his stuff from a rack on the wall. "You really are a piece of work A. We sneaked out towards the back of the facility,encountering little resistance as we moved. We found out why when reached the exit. "Ho-ly shit. That's a lot of hostiles A. How we gonna worm our way out of this one?" I looked to him and smirked. "Remember what I requested my call-sign be?" "Six?" "Yep.You see, there is a phrase associated with that name.Do you know what it is?" "No, what?" "Spartans don't die, they just go MIA." And with that I handed him the USB and my tags before rushing outside. POV shift: Pvt. Conrad "So Dolf, hows the family?" "Dead." "Oh shit, sorry to hear that." "I killed them." "Oh." "WWWWWRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!" "What the hell?!" POV shift: A "WWWWRRRRYYYY!!!!!" I jumped out from the inside of the building, peppering everything with bullets from my AUG. I glanced to my left to see my teammate make to safety as I mow down more and more enemy troops. I guess they decided I was to much for a few guards cause they sent out a FREAKING TANK to try and kill me. I dove behind cover as the tank fired the main gun, leaving a crater where I was standing. As the tank rolled up to me I could feel the men inside laughing at me as they trained the mini-gun on me. I just smirked and shoved a primed mortar into the main gun. "See you in Hell fuckers!" *BOOM!* Meanwhile in Canterlot, 3 days before the royal wedding. POV shift: Bon-Bon "Please Bon-Bon?" "No Lyra. You were asked to be the princess's bride's mare. You can't go around Canterlot looking for humans." "But what if they know how to make the perfect piece of candy?" "No. Now go be a bride's mare." "You're no fun." *Door opening and closing* "Ugh! Finally, she's gone. Now I can work on perfecting these bon-bons. *sigh* I should really consider a name change." *Vroomp* Suddenly a blue portal/worm hole thingy appeared in my hotel room which for some reason had an oven. "As Stanley stared at the mysterious blue distortion he wandered what it was." 'What is that thing, and why is some disembodied Buckingham pony calling me Stanley?' "Oh, sorry.Wrong universe." As I wondered if I should get a CAT scan a black shape fell out of the the hole, which then *pop*ped out of existence. "Ugh, my head." The shape moaned as it got up, slowly regaining consciousness. 'Crap crap crap crap! Find a weapon find a weapon!' I spotted my cast iron skillet on the stove and then used it to repeatably beat the thing over the head until the. Fucker. Was. Unconscious. I then yelped, dropped the pan, and sat down in the corner to have a mini-freak out. POV shift: A 'Ow ow ow ow! My head frigging hurts! Wait a tick. How can my head hurt if I'm dead? Aura scanning room. Scan complete. Loading all available data. Done. Gear in corner, tied to a wooden chair, in pain, and 2 creatures surrounding me. Solution, channel the Doctor.' I slowly opened my eyes so they could adjust to the lighting and what I saw made me question my sanity. 'Two ponies, one with a cream coat, purple and pink mane, and three pieces of candy on her (educated guess) flank, while the other was seafoam green with a lighter green and white mane and a harp, no lyre on her flank, where staring at me oddly.' "Ello, I'm A. What are your names and why am I tied to a chair?" The green one seamed to be less shocked than the creamy one as she spoke first. "Hello A, my name is Lyra and this is Bon-Bon. You're tied to a chair because you could be dangerous." "No. If you thought I was dangerous, you would have called the police. Instead you tied me to a chair and waited for me to wake up. You're not threatened by me, you're intrigued." Bon-Bon appears to snap out of her stupor and addresses me. "Well, A, we do have some questions for you, such as what are you?" "I don't know." "How do you not know?" "I think I have amnesia. Did anything hit me on the head while I was out?" Bon-Bon avoided my gaze as I said this, which meant she probably hit me with a pan. My suspicions where confirmed when Lyra spoke up. "Yeah, Bon-Bon kinda hit you in the head, multiple times, with a skillet. But, hey we have a mirror. Maybe that would help." I shrugged. "Worth a shot." Suddenly Lyra's forehead glowed, revealing a horn under her hair, and was lifted into the air and spun around. Before me was a mirror and in that mirror was a black insect-pony creature with blue eyes. Before I could say anything, a huge pain shot through my skull and I fell to the ground, clutching my head in pain as images flew through my head. I suddenly knew what I was. "A changeling. I'm a changeling." Q and A"What the buck is a changeling?" "Well Bon-Bon, a changeling is a creature somewhere between a bug and a pony that feeds on positive emotions and can change shape." "So you feed on happy? Does it hurt the pony you get it from?" "Only if the emotion isn't directed towards me I think, hence the shape change.Next question." "Do you plan to bring harm?" "Okay, first off it's not a good idea to ask that to something that would probably lie to you, so you wouldn't even be sure if I was telling the truth. Secondly, no. I don't plan to bring harm to anything as nothing has given me reason to." "What did you mean when you said you think?" "You mean the eating thing? It's because I was never a changeling before now and my knowledge of them is somewhat limited." "What were you before then?" "I was human." I regretted saying that immediately afterwards as Lyra went fan-girl and pounced me. "You're a human? Can you show me what a human looks like? Can I see your hands?" "I guess? I have to whole shape shifting part down first. And you'd have to untie me." "Don't encourage her!" "Why not Bonny? It's the truth and it must be heard." "You promise that if we let you out you'll show me what a human looks like?" "Just as soon as learn how to transform. Oh, I know. You use magic right?" "Yeah." "How? What is your process of using magic?" "I just think about what I want to happen and if I can do it, it does." "Alright, let me try." I imagine myself in my human form and the everything turns hot and blue. As the heat and blue tint die away I notice some immediate changes in the room. Meaning Bon-Bon was unconscious, Lyra was starring at me with a look of awe on her face, everything was smaller and a bit to left, the only change I could understand fully was that the cloth they used to tie me to the chair was burnt up and the chair had scorch marks on it. "I take it that it worked." The only answer I got was a small nod from Lyra. "Should we wake her up or something?" This time Lyra was to busy taking in every detail about my human form as she could to answer. So I did what any sane creature would. I grabbed a bucket from my P.P.D. and filled with water from the sink before sloshing it onto Bon-Bon and Lyra. "What was that for!?" Bon-Bon wasn't particularly happy when she woke up. "You were unconscious and Lyra was stupefied by my being human to partake in discussion so I got bored and splashed you with a little water." "A little water? You dumped an entire bucket on us!" "My music." "Sorry, what did you say Lyra?" Bon-Bon and I turned to see a very sad Lyra hold a very waterlogged book. "What's that?" "It's my music book. I write all my music in it. And now it's ruined." "Oh don't worry about that Lyra. I've got just the thing to fix it." I walked over to my pack and shuffled through the pocket settings until I found the one I was looking for. I reached into the pack and pulled out a breadbox sized container with a jar stuck to the side before walking over to Lyra. "Can I see your book please?" She reluctantly ~~handed~~ hoofed me the book, which I place into the container and pushed a red button on the side. "What's that A?" "Its experimental technology distributed to all U.N. forces in case of emergencies like being stranded. Basically you put something in here and water comes out here and collects in this jar. I'm using it to drain the water from your book." *Ding* "It also goes ding." I pulled Lyra's now dry book out of the machine gave it to her. "There, ya see? Good as new." I expected her to take the book and thank me be what she did is stead was welcome. She jumped up and glomped me, the shock causing me to shift back into changeling form. "Thank you so much A!" "For the book or human thing?" "Both! But mainly the book." That was when I noticed it. I could see a green mist around Lyra's head. It smelled like freshly baked bread. My mouth started to water before I composed myself and asked Lyra the most uncomfortable question I've ever had the pleasure of thinking. "Hey Lyra, can I uh eat that?" She stopped hugging me and the mist shrunk a little. "Eat what exactly?" "The gratitude swirling around your head. I didn't have breakfast today, or lunch." She looked me oddly ( http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608045447987266051&w=224&h=182&c=7&rs=1&pid=1.7 ) before replying. "Sure! As long as it doesn't hurt." "Thank you!" And so began the awkward moment where I turned her gratitude into a sandvich and nomed it. Author's Note Does anyone know where I can get a pic of a changeling eating a sandwich? Google didn't have any. Ugh!While I ate my sandvich we got to know each other better. I found out that Bonny ran a confectionery shop in Ponyville and Lyra played her lyre there to attract costumers and studied anthropology, I also learned short range teleportation and how to play music from my head from Lyra for telling her about humans. They learned that I have a tendency to ramble, am a 16 year old soldier, let any and all situations spiral out of control in my head while maintaining a calm and collected manner, and that I do dumb stuff whether or not I'm under the influence. They learned that when I learned weed was legal in Equestria and that Lyra owned a bong. "Uggghhh. What happened last night?" I groaned. I realized I was lying on a bed with something on my right arm. Wait, arm? I looked myself over and found that I was indeed in human form. I turned to see what was on my arm and saw Lyra sleeping peacefully. I dawed at her before I felt something staring at me. I turned around to see Bonny staring daggers at me. "Did we, do, something?" I asked, a little more than scared. "No. Not that there was any chance of that. We don't like stallions. What makes me mad is that that you might like giving her massages more than me." She whined. "Massages?" I questioned. "Yeah. Those hands are so soft and smooth, always precise." She swooned. "So I got high, gave you two massages, and passed out on the bed?" I asked. "Yeah. You also made that slim, black box in the corner after yelling high science and singing Unicorn Wizard then you asked us if we'd ever been high as fuck before passing out." She explained as she pointed to the corner. "So, my usual stuff then?" I asked sarcastically. "Hey Bon-Bon, whats for breakfast?" The sea foam-green bedhead mumbled. Of coarse Lyra asked the million dollar question. "We're having waffles Lyra." She groaned. "That reminds me of a song. You want to hear it?" I asked with a Cheshire grin. "Sure?" They replied halfheartedly. After breakfast and singing Lyra had to go to the castle for bride's mare duty. "You're leaving too A." Bon-Bon insisted. "Why do I have to go outside?" I whined. "Because you said you needed good emotions to live and what better emotion than friendship?" She reasoned. "But I enjoy being a shut in!" I complained. "Friends. Now." She commanded. "Ugh! Fine. You're no fun you know that?" I sighed. "I know. Now go make friends." She chided. "Fine, mom." I could have sworn Bon-Bon was smirking as I left. Author's Note To answer that one guy who asked what a P.P.D. is, it stands for Portable Pocket Dimension, so it can contain an infinite amount of mass, sort it, and withdraw it at any given point in time when authorized by the one who is synced to it. Bow Ties and BikersAfter being shoved out of the hotel Lyra and Bon-Bon where staying at for the wedding I roamed around Canterlot for a few hours, passing ponies every now and then. I always waved or called a greeting, but they just stared at me with a look of shock on their faces. Well fuck them, I don't care about their opinion. Eventually I decided to find a way to make money to buy a bow tie and maybe a stension, cause stensions are cool. So naturally I headed downtown. If anything I've ever played has taught me anything you can literally do anything for money in the downtown area of a large city and Canterlot is definitely a large city. Eventually I came to a large, black earth pony with a white ship outline cutie mark barely pulling a large, fully loaded wagon. While the dude was pretty much a match for Terry Crews he was obviously having trouble pulling the cart, so, like the gentleman I am, I walked up to the guy to ask him if could help him with his load. Besides, he might decide to pay me for my help. "Hey man, you want any help with your cart?" I asked. He looked at me as if sizing me up for something before nodding and motioning to an extra yoke as he stopped so I could hook myself up to the cart. We started back up, heading further into the city. After a few minutes of silence I decided to brake the tension. "Hello. I'm A, and you are?" I inquired. "Terry Crews." Mr. Crews replied. Wow, the guy looked like, sounded like, and had the same name as the Old Spice man. I wonder if he ever did a soap commercial. "And yes, I did do an Apple Spice commercial." He explained. "Holy shit are you-" I started. "Psychic? No." He answered. "What rhymes with explosion?" I shouted. "Another explosion." He shouted back. "Apple Spice smells like?" I quizzed. "Power." He sighed. "The meaning of the universe is?" I pried. "42 bottles of Apple Spice." He replied as his eyes took on a glassy sheen. "We're taking this wagon to?" I said as I pumped him for info. "The shop we just arrived at." He said as he pointed to the shop before us. We were in front of a wide building that was split down the middle with duck tape. A neon sign, also split with tape somehow, read Bart's Haberdashery and Russell's Pawn Shop. Hell yes. A freaking haberdashery! Now I can get a bow tie and maybe a stension. "Hey, I appreciate the help and all but you should leave before the Guardians come." He said whilst looking around nervously. "Guardians?" I asked a little worried that something was scaring Crews of all ponies. "Yeah. They're a gang that offers protection in exchange for money." He explained. "Let me guess. If you don't pay it's them you need protection from." I stated bluntly. "You got it." "Get you bosses. I've got a little plan for the Guardians." Armed with my new blue bow tie from Bart Terr and my stension from Chumlee Russell (who knew they had Pawn Stars here?) I leaned against a counter as six red and black earth ponies walked in. I tilted my hat in a greeting to the biggest as he looked at me with a sneer that could curdle dairy and rung the bell. Time to shine. "Ello gov. How can I help you lot?" I asked in a decent Doctor Who impression. "Wheres Bart and Russell? We're here to collect our pay for this month." He sneered. "Out, but they asked me to deal with any business for them while they're out so just give me you names and I'll see what they put you down for." I said as I opened my notebook. "We're the Guardians." The thug clarified. "Guardians, Guardians... here we go! Lets see, they put you lot down for a good old beat down and a stern 'stay the buck out our shop'." I smiled. "Wha-" He was effectively silenced when my hoof connected to his face. A used Mach Punch! It was super effective! Foe Gang Leader has fainted! A gained 423 EXP points!Some random voice shouted from everywhere, confusing the remaining thugs. Using this to my advantage I jumped over the counter and punched the nearest thug in the face.A used Mega Punch! Foe Thug has fainted! A gained 217 EXP points! At this point one of the thugs gained enough sense to fight me instead of looking for disembodied space voices. To bad for him I was already punching all his back up in the face, knee, and or groin.A used Beat Up! It was super effective! Foes Thug x 4 fainted! A gained 866 EXP points! A leveled up! Strength:8-12. Speed:9-13. Magic:8-12. Health:20-23. Defense:8-12. Legilimency: Infinite-Wow. A learned Thundershock, Icy Wind, and Ember! "Well that was fun. Call me if you have anymore gang trouble!" I called as I left a little 'gift' behind and went back to the hotel. Author's Note Yes A has a level up system. Yes A learned Pokemon moves. Yes I did include an Old Spice guy. No I don't plan to tell you guys what the 'gift' is. When will you find out? Only time will tell. Also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF86IrnfDis The Search"I'm back Bonny!" I declared as I entered the hotel room. "I told you not to call me that A!" She yelled as she swung a pan at my head. "Whoa! Why do you have a pan!? This is a hotel!" I screamed as I dodged her onslaught. "I'm a confectioner! I never leave home with out cooking tools and a collapsible oven!" She clarified as she swung again. "Could you stop that?! Wheres Lyra? I thought she'd be back by now." I said, stopping the pan with my magic. "Sigh. I don't know, she should have been back an hour ago. Could you go check to see if see got into trouble again?" She asked, more than a little worried. "Certainly malady, but you have to promise not to hit me with that pan." I joked. "Great. Thank you A." She sighed. "Some time later." The Spongebob narrator said in his usual board voice. "Lyyyyyyyraaaaaaa!!!!!" I shouted as I wondered through town. It had gotten dark real quick as I scoured the city in search of the missing lyre player. At least that's what my conscious stuck with. In reality I went to Joe's Doughnuts, the castle gardens (don't ask, don't tell), Brass's music store, and A&W Rootbeer, which stood for Azoturia and Weanling in Equestria. So, out of options I could think about, I went to Lyra's last known location. Canterlot Castle. Those Night Guard members are intense. "Halt!" The two guards commanded as they crossed their spears. "Sup guys. I'm looking for Lyra Heartstrings. She came here earlier by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's summons." I said as casually as one could with spears being pointed at oneself. "If you wish to find someone summoned by a princess you must talk to said princess." Pony Luke Cage explained. "Well where is the bitch? It's late, my friend is missing, and wanna find her so I can go to bed." I asked, irritated as fuck. "Behind you." A very bitchy female voice answered from behind me. "Shiiiiiiit. Listen Princess, my friend is one of your bride's mares and she hasn't come back yet so I came to see if see was still here." I said trying to keep the situation from deteriorating as much as possible. "Yes, my bride's mares left about an hour ago. Now I suggest you leave before I try to find out what you called me." She warned. Suddenly my eyes flashed blue. "Oh I don't think so lady. See the blue flash? That lets me see through your little trick.Don't think anyone would be to happy about the princess being impersonated. Now, I know you can teleport me to where you sent her, so do it." I warned her, a Cheshire grin on my face. "I don't take idle threats from those below me." She warned as her horn started to glow. "Good thing it was a promise huh?" I commented as I disappeared. "Helloooooooo! Anybody home?!" I yelled as I continued to roam the caves that fake bitch sent me to. These crystal caves where long, dark, confusing, and echoy. I've been wandering for about four hours, give or take, and was starting to get pretty board and a little pissed off at certain things. The current target of my anger? A wall that aura scan reviled to be five feet thick with a pretty good chance of a living creature on the other side. Crystal scrambles the aura scan real bad. I'm talking Internet Explorer in the mountains on a old computer with real slow internet speed during a severe thunderstorm bad. "I've had enough of this freaking CAVE!!!!" I screamed as I spun around and bucked the wall as hard as I could. "A used Nuclear Kick! Wild Crystal Wall never stood a chance! A gained 300 EXP points!" "Shut up space voice!" I yell at the random voice announcing my actions. "Um who are you?" Two female voices asked from behind me. I turned around to see a purple unicorn the real Princess as aura scan shows. "I'm A, the changeling. Have you seen a sea foam green, often mistaken for mint, unicorn with a lyre cutie mark around here?" I asked. "You mean Lyra?" The purple one asked. "Yeah. She here?" I confirmed. "I haven't seen her since yesterday. The fake Cadence said they went home after she dropped them for just wanting to be a princess's bride's mare." She clarified. "Lyra wouldn't do that. I threatened the bitch up in Canterlot and told her to send me to where she sent Lyra. While she is evil she's not a complete dumb ass. If Lyra is not down here that whore knows she is going to be one soul short of a functioning life form." I promised. "Now come on. You two need to get out of this cave and I need to find my friend." "Why should we follow you? You're a changeling just like the fake me." The pink princess questioned. "Okay. One, that is a very racist thing to say and two I just took down a wall that was five feet thick in one buck. Don't think I can't do the same to anything in this cave, creature and object alike. If we just happened to stumble across a mine cart and rail I could easily get it going in one buck." I persuaded. "Fine, we'll come with you." They grumbled. "Whoa whoa whoa. As much as I would love for you two to come with me I don't even know your names." I joked. "I'm Cadence./I'm Twilight Sparkle." They sighed in union. "Great, lets go. Allons-y!" I cheered. "Well that was fun." I laughed as I wiped the blood from my hooves. "Wha? Huh? How?!" Twilight cried as Cadence cowered in the corner, away from the bloody mass of dead undead zombie pony miners. "Well, I imagine that the vast quantities of magic seeping down from Canterlot into these caves had an effect similar to intense gamma radiation causing the miners that died in cave-ins to come back as zombies. Unless of course you're referring to how I rekilled them all without giving a single fuck. The answer to which would be that I never give any fucks. Now come on. I can see the exit." I answered. "Hold on, you still have three ponies to get past." Three insanely creepy voices said in union. Then Lyra, a blue unicorn who had toothpaste for a mane, and a white unicorn with a rose colored mane walked out from behind a rock. "All right girls step back, I got this." I said with confidence. "Oh? And just what do you think you can do against the three of us?" The blue one questioned. "Hey Lyra, Bon-Bon is waiting to make sweet hot love with you." I replied. All that remained of her was comically shaped dust cloud. I then applied one mild strength sleep spell to the other two. "That was easy." I laughed. "Come on, the wedding has already started!" Cadence shouted. "Oh right. Come on then, I got asses that need a kicking." I said menacingly. Author's Note Next time on this fic: Ass will be kicked, fights will be fought, and references will be made. Fighting in 3rd Pony"Do you, Princess Mi Amore Candenza, take Captain Shining Armor to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Celestia asked her 'niece'. "I do." She replied in a bored as hell voice as she wonder why the hell these ponies were so thick. "And do you, Captain Shining Armor, take Princess Mi Amore Candenza to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Celestia asked her guards' captain. "I do." He said with absolutely no emotion as he made a mental note to train his guards in mind control and changeling detection. "Than, unless anypony opposes the union of Cadenza and Shining, I now pronounce you-" "OBJECTION!!!!!!!" A black creature yelled as he kicked the doors down. "That bitch is an impostor!" A accused as Twilight and Cadence joined him. "That pony is a changeling! Much like A here but she is a, whats the word you used? Bitch? She is a massive bitch!" The real Cadence declared. "You little traitor! Not that it matters anyway. Soon my changelings will burst through the shield and we will take Canterlot!" The fake cried as she was enveloped in green flames reviling a large, black changeling female with a green mane fin thing. "Yes, but now that you've so foolishly reviled yourself I can protect my little ponies from you." Celestia declared as she fired a white beam of energy at the queen, which was meet with a green beam from her. The two beams collided, nether gaining any ground. PSH!!!! The sound of glass breaking was heard as the magic shield fell and changeling swarmed the city. Soon, as the changelings collected and pooled love, the queen's beam grew in strength and easily pushed back Celestia's beam, striking her full force in the face. As she fell to the ground the queen threw back her head and laughed. "Ha ha ha ha! None can beat that which is Chrysalis! Queen of the changelings!" Chrysalis cackled. "My turn bitch!" A cried as he cracked his neck and his horn glowed with a mighty power as music began to play. A rushed Chrysalis as she tried to figure out where the hell that sound was coming from and delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the side of her face. As she reeled back A followed up with a devastating double uppercut. "A used Rolling Kick! Foe Chrysalis flinched! A used Twin Sky Uppercut!" Chrysalis quickly recovered from the blow and retaliated with a blast of energy which A skillfully dodged. Suddenly Chrysalis lunged at A jabbing him with her horn and as he flinched from the pain she hit him full force with a blast of green energy sending flying head first into a brick wall. "Chrysalis used Hidden Power! A dodged the attack! Chrysalis used Horn Attack! A flinched! Chrysalis used Solarbeam! It was super effective! A is lodged in a wall! "A!" The mane six and Cadence cried as A was lodged in the wall. "Aug my head." A groaned from inside the wall as he had suffered a sever blow to the head. "Ha ha ha ha! You will never beat me! As long as my changelings keep collecting love..." Chrysalis droned. "Terry." A wheezed. "... and soon we will rule all of- *PSH! RARW!*" Chrysalis was suddenly interrupted as Terry jumped through the window behind her riding a rocket cheetah which tackled her as her jumped off it and stood on his hind legs. "Whoa crazy lady you've been talking for nearly an hour! I'll burn yo ass, with double sun power!" He yelled as twin balls of burning gas formed above his hooves. "What rhymes with explosion?" Terry asked as he punched Chrysalis in face causing an explosion upon contact. "Another explosion!" He screamed as he fired an explosion out of his mouth. "Now excuse me I gotta go work on my tits at Gold's Gym." He said as fire came out of his back hooves and he flew of to Gold's Gym. "Well that was weird." Pinkie said as she watched Terry fly off. Suddenly the whole mountain began to shake as blue particles floated to the hole in the wall where A was. "I REMEMBER!" A burst out of the wall surrounded in a powerful blue aura with a fire burning brightly in his eyes. "CHRYSALIS. IT'S TIME YOU WITNESSED TRUE POWER." "A's Final Smash LV1 has been activated!" "WITNESS MY TENTH MOST POWERFUL MOVE! BEHOLD! AURA BERSERKER EXPLOSION!" Suddenly A exploded in blinding blue flash of light as all the changelings besides A where ejected from Canterlot. "A used Aura Berserker Explosion! It was super effective! Foes Changeling Drones x 5,000 where defeated! Foes Changeling Hunters x 2,500 where defeated! Foes Changeling Specials x 2,499 where defeated! Foe Queen Chrysalis was defeated! A gained 40,00(pi) EXP points! A leveled up to LV 20! Strength: 12-47. Speed: 13-49. Magic: 12-47. Health: 23-58. Defense: 12-46. Legilimency: Wow-Damn! A learned Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Bound Sword, and Teleport! A has unlocked his upgrade branches! 15 perks to upgrade! 15 Boosts to stats to use!" "Cool." And with that A passed out. "A fainted!" Author's Note Hey guys part of this story will be commenter driven. When A levels up he gains the ability to strengthen one of his stats by 5 and progress in one of his skill branches. You guys, the readers and commenters, will comment what you think A should boost. Also every 5 levels a gets a new item and every whatever I decide on levels A gets a new move. You guys also get to suggest what A will get. So A currently needs to boost 15 stats by 5, which you can do now, progress in 15 skills, which you guys can't do until I get that up here, and give A 2 items as I have already given him 1. Happy commenting! The ChallengeIn a poorly lit room the three princesses, Shining Armor, and the mane six were sitting at a round table with all but Luna, who was attempting to converse with A in his dream world, debating about A's actions and what they should do with him in the case he became a threat to national security, was an ally ,or just didn't like what Chrysalis was doing. They were currently deciding what to do if he was a threat. "All in favor of banishment say I." Celestia said before saying I herself. "Like to the moon, fer a thousand years?" Applejack teased as she smirked. "May-be." Celestia said as a grin began to show on her face. "But in all seriousness, who goes for banishment?" Everypony except Luna, Pinkie, Flutter-shy, and Twilight said I. "Those for studying, partying, and getting to know?" Celestia sighed as the others raised their hooves. "You three know we can't study, party with, and get to know every new creature you find right?" "Yeeeeeees." "Noooooooo." "Don't care!" They answered at the same time. Celestia just put her head in her hooves and wondered why her pupil was study obsessed as Luna jolted awake. "Sister we must get to A immediately." Luna stated urgently as a nurse burst into the room. "Princess there is a problem with the patent!" Redheart declared with her voice and eyes full of worry. Celestia turned to her sister. "What happened?" "Weeeeeeellllllll..." Luna started to explain what happened as all of the room's occupants left for the medical wing of the castle. music for digging music for fighting In a vast, Minecraft like world two armies of A's clashed on a blood soaked plane as a smaller group of A's ether painted it or made a dub-step remix for the YouTube video of this they were going to post. A ways away an A in a strait jacket played chess against another A in a bow tie. A bit north from there a bunch of mini A's dug a hole whilst singing DWARF HOLE. Above all this Luna and A were playing Mass Effect 3. "- and that is why I tried eating fish fingers and custard and it was quite good." A said as he blew up a Wraith with some rockets from his Hornet. "What are you talking about? You told me about your life back home and how much better it was here. Furthermore, how are you doing that? We are playing Mass Effect not Halo!" "That would explain the lack of Cortona, but now that I've told you what you wanted to know and you told me what I wanted to know I think I'll wake up and get a few things that I've needed for awhile now." A stated simply as his avatar activated a nuke, winning the game and causing Luna to rage quit. "So let me get this strait. Y'all played a game, talked about his life and some other thing, and then he beatch ya, and woke up?" Applejack teased as they all turned a corner and ran into a group of guards setting up a barricade while Bon-Bon and Lyra sat off to the side eating some of Bon-Bon's bon-bons. "What are y'all doing here?" She asked as they all walked across the hall to where they were sitting. "We're getting ready to watch A beat the crap out of a bunch of guards." Lyra explained as she tossed another treat into her mouth. "Well I still think that the highly trained guards that outnumber A by a lot will win." Bon-Bon stated as she took the bag of candy away from her fillyfriend. "Are you kidding me? Did you not see what A did to those changelings when they kidnapped us or that huge wave of energy that ejected most of the changelings? It was huge! He could totally do that again, but non-fatal hopefully." Lyra countered as she started to fiddle with her phone. "But these are highly trained guards tasked with guarding Celestia's life. There is no way A could just beat them up and throw them around like sacks of flour." Bon-Bon exaggerated as an unconscious guard landed face first in front of the group. As A turned the corner music began to play and all of the ponies in the hall shuddered as they took in A's appearance. His face bore the mark of insanity yet his smile looked as though he was giving free cupcakes to children. His eyes and horn burned deep crimson red and those few that looked into his eyes could of sworn they saw how they were going to die. His very essence could be seen as an angry black fire surrounding him. The one thing that nopony understood was why there was a cutie mark on a changeling or why it was a Bullet Bill with blood dripping from its eyes. A then turned to Lyra and Bonny and all of his unusual features dissipated instantly. "Hi guys! Have you seen my pack?" A asked as walked over to them. "Yep! I got it right here A. Now could go back to fighting? I want to record this so I have something to show to you and Lyra when you do something stupid like fight something that outnumbers you or encouraging you to do so." Bonny said as she pulled a camera and A's pack from behind her. "Certainly Bonny." A stated as he shouldered his pack and several dozen more guards came into the hall way. "Wow that is a lot of guards. Good thing I learned how to do this. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" A yelled as smoke engulfed the hall. As the smoke cleared everypony's jaw hit the ground as they saw several dozen A's standing in the hall. The A's looked around before nodding and making their move. Five of the A's jumped out the windows in the hall while two of them snuck behind Celestia and the rest began fighting the guards. "I have never seen so much blood while its owners are alive since the mass orgy two years before my banishment." Luna stated as an A beat an earth pony with another earth pony. "So fast... think he would teach me?" Rainbow questioned as another A flew around at the speed of sound on steroids while punching and kicking several pegasus guards in the face and back. "That-herp-is just-blaa-wrong." Shining wheezed between barfs as an A rammed the head of a unicorn into another unicorn's ass and Cadence's wings flared. Suddenly two A's jumped out from behind Celestia with one on her and one behind her. The one behind her smacked her flank while the other one loudly declared "I'm on a horse!" causing Celestia's wings to flare and Rarity's and Cadence's horns to shoot off fireworks. Celestia then burst into flames. "I AM GOING TO SEND A TO THE MOON!" Meanwhile at the Harmonic Scratch music store A was battling Octavia as he was promised a coffee if he beat her. "I AM GOING TO SEND A TO THE MOON!" "He he he. Where was I? Oh yeah. Sparky use Surf!" A shouted as his Pikachu defeated Octavia's Groudon. "How did you teach your Pikachu's these moves? I mean Pikachu cannot learn Surf, Fly, or Earthquake!" Octavia quizzed as she sent out her Meloetta. "I won a contest and got any Pokemon I wanted with whatever moves, stats, and abilities I wanted. It was ether this or a Mew and I had a friend who had an extra and wanted a Kyoger. Thunderbolt." A explained as Sparky dealt a large amount of damage to Meloetta. "I did not want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. I won a contest as well. Now feel the power of DJ PON3!" Octavia cried as Vinyl popped out of a pokeball. A merely pushed a button causing the text 'Pikachu's Nuke ability activated!' to appear. The screen change to that of peace sign nuke. It the went back to the normal view and showed Sparky with one hp and the text 'Sparky hung on with Focus Sash!'. "Bow to the king, or just get me the coffee I was promised please." A said as the only employee of the Harmonic Scratch made him a DJ's Best Friend. "I do not get paid enough for this." Coffee Black sighed as Vinyl dragged Octavia to the back of the store as she promised to do whatever Vinyl said if she or someone she found beat her. Several hours later A was in the Ponyville prison while Celestia sat outside of his cell seething. "How and why did you do all of this?" Celestia asked him while he bounced a ball around his cell. "How is marine training, a lot of anime, and the need for coffee. Why is the need for coffee." A explained as he drank another cup of coffee. "What am I going to do with you?" She sighed as he played on a handheld. "You could put me under the care of someone you trust until they tell you 'okay he probably will not destroy you or make your life Hell as long as he isn't pissed offed at you' or something like that." A said while he played Halo on a huge flat screen. "That is a great idea, but one question. Where are you getting this stuff?" Celestia asked as A posted an update on Facebook. "When I leveled up I put some of my upgrades in recreation magic, enhancing my creation and summoning magic. Plus I found where Pinkie keeps the hammer space." A explained as a party hat dropped onto Celestia's head. "Okay I think I have formed the perfect plan." She then blasted A with a spell and called Twilight into the room. "Twilight, I am trusting you with watching A. I want you to enroll him in school and make sure he does not destroy anything."She said as the smoke around A cleared, reviling a small changeling with a stension and a bow tie. "Why is everything bigger and a millimeter to the left?" A asked before checking his Apple stock. The New Foal"So, instead of putting me in like a jail or in some remote location under guard, Celestia placed me in the town where the most powerful defense for her country is, turned me into a younger me, and enrolled me in school? What in the fucking omniverse made her think that was a good plan?" A asked sarcastically as he and Twilight walked towards the schoolhouse. "Well she probably thought that if you were a colt you would have an easier time making friends and stop being so problematic for her. Now, go make friends, do not kill anypony, do not hurt anypony, and above all do NOT do something you or Discord would do. Oh and Lyra will come to get you after school since you traumatized my friends and she and Bon-Bon were the only ones who would watch you." Twilight replied as they neared they school. "Yeah that was a fun three minutes, and just because I told you guys about my past does not mean I could easily get away with murder and/or torture. At least I get to stay with Lyra and Bon-Bon while I am here and not a complete stranger. Peace." A chuckled as he walked away from Twilight and into the school to give Cheerlee his note. "Ah, you must be the new student I was told about. My name is Ms.Cheerlee." The magenta mare stated obviously while taking the note from A. "Why don't you introduce yourself to your classmates while I read your note?" Causing A to shrug and turn to the other twenty odd foals in the building while she stared at the note.'May not play well with others. Best of luck, Princesses Celestia and Luna' "Sup, my name is A. I know it is a weird name Pinks that is why I like it. It suits me. Any questions?" A said calmly as Diamond Tiara fumed in the back. "Yes, you with the bow." "Why are ya all black and full o' holes?" Apple Bloom questioned as she put her hoof down. "It is not black it is dark blue and because I messed around with a gigantic hole puncher, next. The marshmallow's turn." A replied as Sweetie Belle blushed. "Are you one of those shape shifting bug ponies from Canterlot?" She asked while A dodged a paper wad that came from Diamond's desk. "Yes but those guys were jerks who were trying to suck the love from all the city's residents. Final question from the muffin mare." "Why are you wearing a bow tie and a stension?" Dinky wondered as Pipsqueak huffed a little in his seat. "Because bow ties and stensions are cool." A stated in a rather matter-of-the-fact tone. "Okay then students I need A to take a small test to see what A needs to cover compared to us so I want all of you to read quietly and then we will have recess when A finishes. A, I need you to take this and go sit at your new desk between Silver Spoon and Scootaloo." Cheerlee instructed as she gave A a packet of paper and pointed him to his new seat. Not five minutes later all they foals were outside playing with each other. Well, almost all of them. A was taking a nap under a nice shady tree. A was drifting happily between the conscious and unconscious realms when he was rudely awoken by an orange chicken. "Hey kid, we wanted to know if you were interested in joining our club." Scootaloo informed A as he began to make out the forms of Apple Bloom, Button Mash, Dinky Hooves, Pipsqueak, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle before him. "Look, I would love to join your little club but-" A was suddenly interrupted when a piece of paper appeared in his lap with two words written on it in never ending fire. 'MAKE FRIENDS' -but I have nothing better to do so why the fuck not? Could be fun." A sighed in defeat. "Great! Come over to Sweet Apple Acres at five for initiation!" Dinky cheered as the group left. "Finally I can-" "Hey freak!" "Sleep. Fuck, what now?" A wondered as he opened his eyes and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing above him."64." A stated calmly, confusing the shit of the two mares. "What? Never mind, I am going to make you pay for cutting me off and making me read!" Diamond started to rant as A put on some headphones and started playing Pokemon on his handheld. "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" "Yep, sure. I understand completely." At this point Silver is just trying not to laugh as she watches the battle commence. Diamond walked right up to A and slapped his headphones off his head. A looked at his headphones and then back at Diamond as she pulled her hoof back to punch him. "Challenge excepted." A declared as Diamond's hoof connected with the tree. "Wow, he is pretty smart for his age." Cheerlee commented to herself as she finish checking A's test. Her ears twitched and she began to hear a faint noise coming from outside. *Thud* "Yeah." *Thud* "Yeah. *Thud* *Bonk* *Thud* "Woooooooooooooo!" "That does not sound good." Suddenly Twist burst into the room, panting from the all out sprint she held for a few meters. "Mith Cheerwee, Diamond hath a broken hoof and a concuthion!" She spit out. "WHAT?! How did she manage to both break her hoof and get a concussion?" Cheerlee asked as she got up and started to call Ponyville Hospital. "The kept mithing A." Twist stated calmly. "What do you mean 'she kept missing A'?" Cheerlee asked as they started to trot outside. "The wath mad at him thor interupting her when the had a quethtion for him by anthwring it, making her wead, and then ignoring her want. Then she slapped hith headphoneth off and twied to punth him but when ever she did all that was there was the tree A was leaning against, ath though A had mothed ever tho thightly to avoid the punch." Twist explained as they reached they tree. Cheerlee stared at the scene before her. A lied against the tree snoozing while Diamond Tiara lay unconscious and bloodied at his hooves. "A~ what did you do?" Cheerlee asked slightly worried about the mental health of her newest student. "When fighting angry blind ponies, it is best to just stay out of their way. Simply put, she swung I tilted." A informed as two pegasi dressed in paramedic gear took Diamond away on a gurney while a third stayed behind to find out what happened. "So she punched a tree repeatably, which broke her hoof. What gave her the concussion?" The medic asked. "A bowling ball." A answered pointing to a bowling ball a few feet away. "Where did that come from?" The medic asked as a pink figure fell from the sky. "There's my bowling ball! Now to find a new place to hid my cannon so Pound does not fire it again." Pinkie declared as she picked up the ball and bounced away. "I'll just file this under Pinkie." The medic sighed as the foals went back to school. "And that's when the paramedic's came to take her away." A said to Lyra as he told her about his day. "That is- Lyra scrunches up her cheeks- so awesome! Maybe Octavia would train you as an assassin if you asked." Lyra joked. "That would be the greatest after school activity ever." A reasoned as he stared off into the vast unknown. "Yeah it would. So they really asked you to join the Crusaders?" Lyra questioned. "Yeah, but I have to pass initiation." A sighed as he brought himself back from the unknown. "Good luck. When Dinky, Button, and Pip joined the Crusaders screams of horror were heard from their club house." Lyra shuddered. "I survived my torture resistance training without even flinching, how bad could this be?" A smiled as he waved it off. "When and where was your initiation?" Lyra asked. "Five o'clock at Sweet Apple Acres." A clarified as they walked over a bridge. "It is almost five now. I'll text Bonny and tell her you'll be late for dinner." Lyra stated as she got out her mobile. "Aw bollocks." A muttered as he realized he would not be getting dinner on time tonight. "All right let's go!" Lyra cheered as several ponies stared at her and A face hooved. "Lyra, you are standing in the fountain." A sighed as Lyra realized her position. "Oh right. Well never mind that. Let us continue onward to Sweet Apple Acres!" Lyra yelled as a quest detail appeared in his vision. "I can get these now? Cool. A little weird but cool." A stated as he poked the words only he could see.
Feet FirstGermany, 2100. *Thud!* The sounds of fist on face echoed throughout the small, dark room as a man repeatably punched the soldier strapped to the chair before him. "What are the launch codes?" "What makes you think I know?" The man jerked his thumb to corpse in the corner. "Your friend said one of the soldiers in your group knew the codes and only one.He didn't know them and you where the only one left." The man in chair chuckled as he looked up to the man in front of him. "Sorry asshole, but more than two people went on this mission." Before the man could question this, a piece of shiny blue material burst through his mid-section. The man fell to the floor revealing, what most would call a short man, but the man in the chair knew better. "Took ya long enough A." POV shift: A I looked my friend and smirked. "So I take it that you need me here every 10 minutes?" I teased. "No,but 10 minutes earlier would've been nice." He pointed to the corner where I knew Bob was. "I know. I was slow, but we're not leaving him here." I pulled out a USB drive from my pocket. "I got the data we where supposed to get so grab Bob and get ready to leg it.I set some bombs to go off in 10 and exfill will be at the evac site in 8 so we gotta split." He grinned as I cut his restraints off with my trusty diamond sword, which some called old-fashioned or overcompensating but I liked it, and grabbed his stuff from a rack on the wall. "You really are a piece of work A. We sneaked out towards the back of the facility,encountering little resistance as we moved. We found out why when reached the exit. "Ho-ly shit. That's a lot of hostiles A. How we gonna worm our way out of this one?" I looked to him and smirked. "Remember what I requested my call-sign be?" "Six?" "Yep.You see, there is a phrase associated with that name.Do you know what it is?" "No, what?" "Spartans don't die, they just go MIA." And with that I handed him the USB and my tags before rushing outside. POV shift: Pvt. Conrad "So Dolf, hows the family?" "Dead." "Oh shit, sorry to hear that." "I killed them." "Oh." "WWWWWRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY!" "What the hell?!" POV shift: A "WWWWRRRRYYYY!!!!!" I jumped out from the inside of the building, peppering everything with bullets from my AUG. I glanced to my left to see my teammate make to safety as I mow down more and more enemy troops. I guess they decided I was to much for a few guards cause they sent out a FREAKING TANK to try and kill me. I dove behind cover as the tank fired the main gun, leaving a crater where I was standing. As the tank rolled up to me I could feel the men inside laughing at me as they trained the mini-gun on me. I just smirked and shoved a primed mortar into the main gun. "See you in Hell fuckers!" *BOOM!* Meanwhile in Canterlot, 3 days before the royal wedding. POV shift: Bon-Bon "Please Bon-Bon?" "No Lyra. You were asked to be the princess's bride's mare. You can't go around Canterlot looking for humans." "But what if they know how to make the perfect piece of candy?" "No. Now go be a bride's mare." "You're no fun." *Door opening and closing* "Ugh! Finally, she's gone. Now I can work on perfecting these bon-bons. *sigh* I should really consider a name change." *Vroomp* Suddenly a blue portal/worm hole thingy appeared in my hotel room which for some reason had an oven. "As Stanley stared at the mysterious blue distortion he wandered what it was." 'What is that thing, and why is some disembodied Buckingham pony calling me Stanley?' "Oh, sorry.Wrong universe." As I wondered if I should get a CAT scan a black shape fell out of the the hole, which then *pop*ped out of existence. "Ugh, my head." The shape moaned as it got up, slowly regaining consciousness. 'Crap crap crap crap! Find a weapon find a weapon!' I spotted my cast iron skillet on the stove and then used it to repeatably beat the thing over the head until the. Fucker. Was. Unconscious. I then yelped, dropped the pan, and sat down in the corner to have a mini-freak out. POV shift: A 'Ow ow ow ow! My head frigging hurts! Wait a tick. How can my head hurt if I'm dead? Aura scanning room. Scan complete. Loading all available data. Done. Gear in corner, tied to a wooden chair, in pain, and 2 creatures surrounding me. Solution, channel the Doctor.' I slowly opened my eyes so they could adjust to the lighting and what I saw made me question my sanity. 'Two ponies, one with a cream coat, purple and pink mane, and three pieces of candy on her (educated guess) flank, while the other was seafoam green with a lighter green and white mane and a harp, no lyre on her flank, where staring at me oddly.' "Ello, I'm A. What are your names and why am I tied to a chair?" The green one seamed to be less shocked than the creamy one as she spoke first. "Hello A, my name is Lyra and this is Bon-Bon. You're tied to a chair because you could be dangerous." "No. If you thought I was dangerous, you would have called the police. Instead you tied me to a chair and waited for me to wake up. You're not threatened by me, you're intrigued." Bon-Bon appears to snap out of her stupor and addresses me. "Well, A, we do have some questions for you, such as what are you?" "I don't know." "How do you not know?" "I think I have amnesia. Did anything hit me on the head while I was out?" Bon-Bon avoided my gaze as I said this, which meant she probably hit me with a pan. My suspicions where confirmed when Lyra spoke up. "Yeah, Bon-Bon kinda hit you in the head, multiple times, with a skillet. But, hey we have a mirror. Maybe that would help." I shrugged. "Worth a shot." Suddenly Lyra's forehead glowed, revealing a horn under her hair, and was lifted into the air and spun around. Before me was a mirror and in that mirror was a black insect-pony creature with blue eyes. Before I could say anything, a huge pain shot through my skull and I fell to the ground, clutching my head in pain as images flew through my head. I suddenly knew what I was. "A changeling. I'm a changeling."
Q and A"What the buck is a changeling?" "Well Bon-Bon, a changeling is a creature somewhere between a bug and a pony that feeds on positive emotions and can change shape." "So you feed on happy? Does it hurt the pony you get it from?" "Only if the emotion isn't directed towards me I think, hence the shape change.Next question." "Do you plan to bring harm?" "Okay, first off it's not a good idea to ask that to something that would probably lie to you, so you wouldn't even be sure if I was telling the truth. Secondly, no. I don't plan to bring harm to anything as nothing has given me reason to." "What did you mean when you said you think?" "You mean the eating thing? It's because I was never a changeling before now and my knowledge of them is somewhat limited." "What were you before then?" "I was human." I regretted saying that immediately afterwards as Lyra went fan-girl and pounced me. "You're a human? Can you show me what a human looks like? Can I see your hands?" "I guess? I have to whole shape shifting part down first. And you'd have to untie me." "Don't encourage her!" "Why not Bonny? It's the truth and it must be heard." "You promise that if we let you out you'll show me what a human looks like?" "Just as soon as learn how to transform. Oh, I know. You use magic right?" "Yeah." "How? What is your process of using magic?" "I just think about what I want to happen and if I can do it, it does." "Alright, let me try." I imagine myself in my human form and the everything turns hot and blue. As the heat and blue tint die away I notice some immediate changes in the room. Meaning Bon-Bon was unconscious, Lyra was starring at me with a look of awe on her face, everything was smaller and a bit to left, the only change I could understand fully was that the cloth they used to tie me to the chair was burnt up and the chair had scorch marks on it. "I take it that it worked." The only answer I got was a small nod from Lyra. "Should we wake her up or something?" This time Lyra was to busy taking in every detail about my human form as she could to answer. So I did what any sane creature would. I grabbed a bucket from my P.P.D. and filled with water from the sink before sloshing it onto Bon-Bon and Lyra. "What was that for!?" Bon-Bon wasn't particularly happy when she woke up. "You were unconscious and Lyra was stupefied by my being human to partake in discussion so I got bored and splashed you with a little water." "A little water? You dumped an entire bucket on us!" "My music." "Sorry, what did you say Lyra?" Bon-Bon and I turned to see a very sad Lyra hold a very waterlogged book. "What's that?" "It's my music book. I write all my music in it. And now it's ruined." "Oh don't worry about that Lyra. I've got just the thing to fix it." I walked over to my pack and shuffled through the pocket settings until I found the one I was looking for. I reached into the pack and pulled out a breadbox sized container with a jar stuck to the side before walking over to Lyra. "Can I see your book please?" She reluctantly ~~handed~~ hoofed me the book, which I place into the container and pushed a red button on the side. "What's that A?" "Its experimental technology distributed to all U.N. forces in case of emergencies like being stranded. Basically you put something in here and water comes out here and collects in this jar. I'm using it to drain the water from your book." *Ding* "It also goes ding." I pulled Lyra's now dry book out of the machine gave it to her. "There, ya see? Good as new." I expected her to take the book and thank me be what she did is stead was welcome. She jumped up and glomped me, the shock causing me to shift back into changeling form. "Thank you so much A!" "For the book or human thing?" "Both! But mainly the book." That was when I noticed it. I could see a green mist around Lyra's head. It smelled like freshly baked bread. My mouth started to water before I composed myself and asked Lyra the most uncomfortable question I've ever had the pleasure of thinking. "Hey Lyra, can I uh eat that?" She stopped hugging me and the mist shrunk a little. "Eat what exactly?" "The gratitude swirling around your head. I didn't have breakfast today, or lunch." She looked me oddly ( http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608045447987266051&w=224&h=182&c=7&rs=1&pid=1.7 ) before replying. "Sure! As long as it doesn't hurt." "Thank you!" And so began the awkward moment where I turned her gratitude into a sandvich and nomed it. Author's Note Does anyone know where I can get a pic of a changeling eating a sandwich? Google didn't have any.
Ugh!While I ate my sandvich we got to know each other better. I found out that Bonny ran a confectionery shop in Ponyville and Lyra played her lyre there to attract costumers and studied anthropology, I also learned short range teleportation and how to play music from my head from Lyra for telling her about humans. They learned that I have a tendency to ramble, am a 16 year old soldier, let any and all situations spiral out of control in my head while maintaining a calm and collected manner, and that I do dumb stuff whether or not I'm under the influence. They learned that when I learned weed was legal in Equestria and that Lyra owned a bong. "Uggghhh. What happened last night?" I groaned. I realized I was lying on a bed with something on my right arm. Wait, arm? I looked myself over and found that I was indeed in human form. I turned to see what was on my arm and saw Lyra sleeping peacefully. I dawed at her before I felt something staring at me. I turned around to see Bonny staring daggers at me. "Did we, do, something?" I asked, a little more than scared. "No. Not that there was any chance of that. We don't like stallions. What makes me mad is that that you might like giving her massages more than me." She whined. "Massages?" I questioned. "Yeah. Those hands are so soft and smooth, always precise." She swooned. "So I got high, gave you two massages, and passed out on the bed?" I asked. "Yeah. You also made that slim, black box in the corner after yelling high science and singing Unicorn Wizard then you asked us if we'd ever been high as fuck before passing out." She explained as she pointed to the corner. "So, my usual stuff then?" I asked sarcastically. "Hey Bon-Bon, whats for breakfast?" The sea foam-green bedhead mumbled. Of coarse Lyra asked the million dollar question. "We're having waffles Lyra." She groaned. "That reminds me of a song. You want to hear it?" I asked with a Cheshire grin. "Sure?" They replied halfheartedly. After breakfast and singing Lyra had to go to the castle for bride's mare duty. "You're leaving too A." Bon-Bon insisted. "Why do I have to go outside?" I whined. "Because you said you needed good emotions to live and what better emotion than friendship?" She reasoned. "But I enjoy being a shut in!" I complained. "Friends. Now." She commanded. "Ugh! Fine. You're no fun you know that?" I sighed. "I know. Now go make friends." She chided. "Fine, mom." I could have sworn Bon-Bon was smirking as I left. Author's Note To answer that one guy who asked what a P.P.D. is, it stands for Portable Pocket Dimension, so it can contain an infinite amount of mass, sort it, and withdraw it at any given point in time when authorized by the one who is synced to it.
Bow Ties and BikersAfter being shoved out of the hotel Lyra and Bon-Bon where staying at for the wedding I roamed around Canterlot for a few hours, passing ponies every now and then. I always waved or called a greeting, but they just stared at me with a look of shock on their faces. Well fuck them, I don't care about their opinion. Eventually I decided to find a way to make money to buy a bow tie and maybe a stension, cause stensions are cool. So naturally I headed downtown. If anything I've ever played has taught me anything you can literally do anything for money in the downtown area of a large city and Canterlot is definitely a large city. Eventually I came to a large, black earth pony with a white ship outline cutie mark barely pulling a large, fully loaded wagon. While the dude was pretty much a match for Terry Crews he was obviously having trouble pulling the cart, so, like the gentleman I am, I walked up to the guy to ask him if could help him with his load. Besides, he might decide to pay me for my help. "Hey man, you want any help with your cart?" I asked. He looked at me as if sizing me up for something before nodding and motioning to an extra yoke as he stopped so I could hook myself up to the cart. We started back up, heading further into the city. After a few minutes of silence I decided to brake the tension. "Hello. I'm A, and you are?" I inquired. "Terry Crews." Mr. Crews replied. Wow, the guy looked like, sounded like, and had the same name as the Old Spice man. I wonder if he ever did a soap commercial. "And yes, I did do an Apple Spice commercial." He explained. "Holy shit are you-" I started. "Psychic? No." He answered. "What rhymes with explosion?" I shouted. "Another explosion." He shouted back. "Apple Spice smells like?" I quizzed. "Power." He sighed. "The meaning of the universe is?" I pried. "42 bottles of Apple Spice." He replied as his eyes took on a glassy sheen. "We're taking this wagon to?" I said as I pumped him for info. "The shop we just arrived at." He said as he pointed to the shop before us. We were in front of a wide building that was split down the middle with duck tape. A neon sign, also split with tape somehow, read Bart's Haberdashery and Russell's Pawn Shop. Hell yes. A freaking haberdashery! Now I can get a bow tie and maybe a stension. "Hey, I appreciate the help and all but you should leave before the Guardians come." He said whilst looking around nervously. "Guardians?" I asked a little worried that something was scaring Crews of all ponies. "Yeah. They're a gang that offers protection in exchange for money." He explained. "Let me guess. If you don't pay it's them you need protection from." I stated bluntly. "You got it." "Get you bosses. I've got a little plan for the Guardians." Armed with my new blue bow tie from Bart Terr and my stension from Chumlee Russell (who knew they had Pawn Stars here?) I leaned against a counter as six red and black earth ponies walked in. I tilted my hat in a greeting to the biggest as he looked at me with a sneer that could curdle dairy and rung the bell. Time to shine. "Ello gov. How can I help you lot?" I asked in a decent Doctor Who impression. "Wheres Bart and Russell? We're here to collect our pay for this month." He sneered. "Out, but they asked me to deal with any business for them while they're out so just give me you names and I'll see what they put you down for." I said as I opened my notebook. "We're the Guardians." The thug clarified. "Guardians, Guardians... here we go! Lets see, they put you lot down for a good old beat down and a stern 'stay the buck out our shop'." I smiled. "Wha-" He was effectively silenced when my hoof connected to his face. A used Mach Punch! It was super effective! Foe Gang Leader has fainted! A gained 423 EXP points!Some random voice shouted from everywhere, confusing the remaining thugs. Using this to my advantage I jumped over the counter and punched the nearest thug in the face.A used Mega Punch! Foe Thug has fainted! A gained 217 EXP points! At this point one of the thugs gained enough sense to fight me instead of looking for disembodied space voices. To bad for him I was already punching all his back up in the face, knee, and or groin.A used Beat Up! It was super effective! Foes Thug x 4 fainted! A gained 866 EXP points! A leveled up! Strength:8-12. Speed:9-13. Magic:8-12. Health:20-23. Defense:8-12. Legilimency: Infinite-Wow. A learned Thundershock, Icy Wind, and Ember! "Well that was fun. Call me if you have anymore gang trouble!" I called as I left a little 'gift' behind and went back to the hotel. Author's Note Yes A has a level up system. Yes A learned Pokemon moves. Yes I did include an Old Spice guy. No I don't plan to tell you guys what the 'gift' is. When will you find out? Only time will tell. Also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF86IrnfDis
The Search"I'm back Bonny!" I declared as I entered the hotel room. "I told you not to call me that A!" She yelled as she swung a pan at my head. "Whoa! Why do you have a pan!? This is a hotel!" I screamed as I dodged her onslaught. "I'm a confectioner! I never leave home with out cooking tools and a collapsible oven!" She clarified as she swung again. "Could you stop that?! Wheres Lyra? I thought she'd be back by now." I said, stopping the pan with my magic. "Sigh. I don't know, she should have been back an hour ago. Could you go check to see if see got into trouble again?" She asked, more than a little worried. "Certainly malady, but you have to promise not to hit me with that pan." I joked. "Great. Thank you A." She sighed. "Some time later." The Spongebob narrator said in his usual board voice. "Lyyyyyyyraaaaaaa!!!!!" I shouted as I wondered through town. It had gotten dark real quick as I scoured the city in search of the missing lyre player. At least that's what my conscious stuck with. In reality I went to Joe's Doughnuts, the castle gardens (don't ask, don't tell), Brass's music store, and A&W Rootbeer, which stood for Azoturia and Weanling in Equestria. So, out of options I could think about, I went to Lyra's last known location. Canterlot Castle. Those Night Guard members are intense. "Halt!" The two guards commanded as they crossed their spears. "Sup guys. I'm looking for Lyra Heartstrings. She came here earlier by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's summons." I said as casually as one could with spears being pointed at oneself. "If you wish to find someone summoned by a princess you must talk to said princess." Pony Luke Cage explained. "Well where is the bitch? It's late, my friend is missing, and wanna find her so I can go to bed." I asked, irritated as fuck. "Behind you." A very bitchy female voice answered from behind me. "Shiiiiiiit. Listen Princess, my friend is one of your bride's mares and she hasn't come back yet so I came to see if see was still here." I said trying to keep the situation from deteriorating as much as possible. "Yes, my bride's mares left about an hour ago. Now I suggest you leave before I try to find out what you called me." She warned. Suddenly my eyes flashed blue. "Oh I don't think so lady. See the blue flash? That lets me see through your little trick.Don't think anyone would be to happy about the princess being impersonated. Now, I know you can teleport me to where you sent her, so do it." I warned her, a Cheshire grin on my face. "I don't take idle threats from those below me." She warned as her horn started to glow. "Good thing it was a promise huh?" I commented as I disappeared. "Helloooooooo! Anybody home?!" I yelled as I continued to roam the caves that fake bitch sent me to. These crystal caves where long, dark, confusing, and echoy. I've been wandering for about four hours, give or take, and was starting to get pretty board and a little pissed off at certain things. The current target of my anger? A wall that aura scan reviled to be five feet thick with a pretty good chance of a living creature on the other side. Crystal scrambles the aura scan real bad. I'm talking Internet Explorer in the mountains on a old computer with real slow internet speed during a severe thunderstorm bad. "I've had enough of this freaking CAVE!!!!" I screamed as I spun around and bucked the wall as hard as I could. "A used Nuclear Kick! Wild Crystal Wall never stood a chance! A gained 300 EXP points!" "Shut up space voice!" I yell at the random voice announcing my actions. "Um who are you?" Two female voices asked from behind me. I turned around to see a purple unicorn the real Princess as aura scan shows. "I'm A, the changeling. Have you seen a sea foam green, often mistaken for mint, unicorn with a lyre cutie mark around here?" I asked. "You mean Lyra?" The purple one asked. "Yeah. She here?" I confirmed. "I haven't seen her since yesterday. The fake Cadence said they went home after she dropped them for just wanting to be a princess's bride's mare." She clarified. "Lyra wouldn't do that. I threatened the bitch up in Canterlot and told her to send me to where she sent Lyra. While she is evil she's not a complete dumb ass. If Lyra is not down here that whore knows she is going to be one soul short of a functioning life form." I promised. "Now come on. You two need to get out of this cave and I need to find my friend." "Why should we follow you? You're a changeling just like the fake me." The pink princess questioned. "Okay. One, that is a very racist thing to say and two I just took down a wall that was five feet thick in one buck. Don't think I can't do the same to anything in this cave, creature and object alike. If we just happened to stumble across a mine cart and rail I could easily get it going in one buck." I persuaded. "Fine, we'll come with you." They grumbled. "Whoa whoa whoa. As much as I would love for you two to come with me I don't even know your names." I joked. "I'm Cadence./I'm Twilight Sparkle." They sighed in union. "Great, lets go. Allons-y!" I cheered. "Well that was fun." I laughed as I wiped the blood from my hooves. "Wha? Huh? How?!" Twilight cried as Cadence cowered in the corner, away from the bloody mass of dead undead zombie pony miners. "Well, I imagine that the vast quantities of magic seeping down from Canterlot into these caves had an effect similar to intense gamma radiation causing the miners that died in cave-ins to come back as zombies. Unless of course you're referring to how I rekilled them all without giving a single fuck. The answer to which would be that I never give any fucks. Now come on. I can see the exit." I answered. "Hold on, you still have three ponies to get past." Three insanely creepy voices said in union. Then Lyra, a blue unicorn who had toothpaste for a mane, and a white unicorn with a rose colored mane walked out from behind a rock. "All right girls step back, I got this." I said with confidence. "Oh? And just what do you think you can do against the three of us?" The blue one questioned. "Hey Lyra, Bon-Bon is waiting to make sweet hot love with you." I replied. All that remained of her was comically shaped dust cloud. I then applied one mild strength sleep spell to the other two. "That was easy." I laughed. "Come on, the wedding has already started!" Cadence shouted. "Oh right. Come on then, I got asses that need a kicking." I said menacingly. Author's Note Next time on this fic: Ass will be kicked, fights will be fought, and references will be made.
Fighting in 3rd Pony"Do you, Princess Mi Amore Candenza, take Captain Shining Armor to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Celestia asked her 'niece'. "I do." She replied in a bored as hell voice as she wonder why the hell these ponies were so thick. "And do you, Captain Shining Armor, take Princess Mi Amore Candenza to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Celestia asked her guards' captain. "I do." He said with absolutely no emotion as he made a mental note to train his guards in mind control and changeling detection. "Than, unless anypony opposes the union of Cadenza and Shining, I now pronounce you-" "OBJECTION!!!!!!!" A black creature yelled as he kicked the doors down. "That bitch is an impostor!" A accused as Twilight and Cadence joined him. "That pony is a changeling! Much like A here but she is a, whats the word you used? Bitch? She is a massive bitch!" The real Cadence declared. "You little traitor! Not that it matters anyway. Soon my changelings will burst through the shield and we will take Canterlot!" The fake cried as she was enveloped in green flames reviling a large, black changeling female with a green mane fin thing. "Yes, but now that you've so foolishly reviled yourself I can protect my little ponies from you." Celestia declared as she fired a white beam of energy at the queen, which was meet with a green beam from her. The two beams collided, nether gaining any ground. PSH!!!! The sound of glass breaking was heard as the magic shield fell and changeling swarmed the city. Soon, as the changelings collected and pooled love, the queen's beam grew in strength and easily pushed back Celestia's beam, striking her full force in the face. As she fell to the ground the queen threw back her head and laughed. "Ha ha ha ha! None can beat that which is Chrysalis! Queen of the changelings!" Chrysalis cackled. "My turn bitch!" A cried as he cracked his neck and his horn glowed with a mighty power as music began to play. A rushed Chrysalis as she tried to figure out where the hell that sound was coming from and delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the side of her face. As she reeled back A followed up with a devastating double uppercut. "A used Rolling Kick! Foe Chrysalis flinched! A used Twin Sky Uppercut!" Chrysalis quickly recovered from the blow and retaliated with a blast of energy which A skillfully dodged. Suddenly Chrysalis lunged at A jabbing him with her horn and as he flinched from the pain she hit him full force with a blast of green energy sending flying head first into a brick wall. "Chrysalis used Hidden Power! A dodged the attack! Chrysalis used Horn Attack! A flinched! Chrysalis used Solarbeam! It was super effective! A is lodged in a wall! "A!" The mane six and Cadence cried as A was lodged in the wall. "Aug my head." A groaned from inside the wall as he had suffered a sever blow to the head. "Ha ha ha ha! You will never beat me! As long as my changelings keep collecting love..." Chrysalis droned. "Terry." A wheezed. "... and soon we will rule all of- *PSH! RARW!*" Chrysalis was suddenly interrupted as Terry jumped through the window behind her riding a rocket cheetah which tackled her as her jumped off it and stood on his hind legs. "Whoa crazy lady you've been talking for nearly an hour! I'll burn yo ass, with double sun power!" He yelled as twin balls of burning gas formed above his hooves. "What rhymes with explosion?" Terry asked as he punched Chrysalis in face causing an explosion upon contact. "Another explosion!" He screamed as he fired an explosion out of his mouth. "Now excuse me I gotta go work on my tits at Gold's Gym." He said as fire came out of his back hooves and he flew of to Gold's Gym. "Well that was weird." Pinkie said as she watched Terry fly off. Suddenly the whole mountain began to shake as blue particles floated to the hole in the wall where A was. "I REMEMBER!" A burst out of the wall surrounded in a powerful blue aura with a fire burning brightly in his eyes. "CHRYSALIS. IT'S TIME YOU WITNESSED TRUE POWER." "A's Final Smash LV1 has been activated!" "WITNESS MY TENTH MOST POWERFUL MOVE! BEHOLD! AURA BERSERKER EXPLOSION!" Suddenly A exploded in blinding blue flash of light as all the changelings besides A where ejected from Canterlot. "A used Aura Berserker Explosion! It was super effective! Foes Changeling Drones x 5,000 where defeated! Foes Changeling Hunters x 2,500 where defeated! Foes Changeling Specials x 2,499 where defeated! Foe Queen Chrysalis was defeated! A gained 40,00(pi) EXP points! A leveled up to LV 20! Strength: 12-47. Speed: 13-49. Magic: 12-47. Health: 23-58. Defense: 12-46. Legilimency: Wow-Damn! A learned Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Bound Sword, and Teleport! A has unlocked his upgrade branches! 15 perks to upgrade! 15 Boosts to stats to use!" "Cool." And with that A passed out. "A fainted!" Author's Note Hey guys part of this story will be commenter driven. When A levels up he gains the ability to strengthen one of his stats by 5 and progress in one of his skill branches. You guys, the readers and commenters, will comment what you think A should boost. Also every 5 levels a gets a new item and every whatever I decide on levels A gets a new move. You guys also get to suggest what A will get. So A currently needs to boost 15 stats by 5, which you can do now, progress in 15 skills, which you guys can't do until I get that up here, and give A 2 items as I have already given him 1. Happy commenting!
The ChallengeIn a poorly lit room the three princesses, Shining Armor, and the mane six were sitting at a round table with all but Luna, who was attempting to converse with A in his dream world, debating about A's actions and what they should do with him in the case he became a threat to national security, was an ally ,or just didn't like what Chrysalis was doing. They were currently deciding what to do if he was a threat. "All in favor of banishment say I." Celestia said before saying I herself. "Like to the moon, fer a thousand years?" Applejack teased as she smirked. "May-be." Celestia said as a grin began to show on her face. "But in all seriousness, who goes for banishment?" Everypony except Luna, Pinkie, Flutter-shy, and Twilight said I. "Those for studying, partying, and getting to know?" Celestia sighed as the others raised their hooves. "You three know we can't study, party with, and get to know every new creature you find right?" "Yeeeeeees." "Noooooooo." "Don't care!" They answered at the same time. Celestia just put her head in her hooves and wondered why her pupil was study obsessed as Luna jolted awake. "Sister we must get to A immediately." Luna stated urgently as a nurse burst into the room. "Princess there is a problem with the patent!" Redheart declared with her voice and eyes full of worry. Celestia turned to her sister. "What happened?" "Weeeeeeellllllll..." Luna started to explain what happened as all of the room's occupants left for the medical wing of the castle. music for digging music for fighting In a vast, Minecraft like world two armies of A's clashed on a blood soaked plane as a smaller group of A's ether painted it or made a dub-step remix for the YouTube video of this they were going to post. A ways away an A in a strait jacket played chess against another A in a bow tie. A bit north from there a bunch of mini A's dug a hole whilst singing DWARF HOLE. Above all this Luna and A were playing Mass Effect 3. "- and that is why I tried eating fish fingers and custard and it was quite good." A said as he blew up a Wraith with some rockets from his Hornet. "What are you talking about? You told me about your life back home and how much better it was here. Furthermore, how are you doing that? We are playing Mass Effect not Halo!" "That would explain the lack of Cortona, but now that I've told you what you wanted to know and you told me what I wanted to know I think I'll wake up and get a few things that I've needed for awhile now." A stated simply as his avatar activated a nuke, winning the game and causing Luna to rage quit. "So let me get this strait. Y'all played a game, talked about his life and some other thing, and then he beatch ya, and woke up?" Applejack teased as they all turned a corner and ran into a group of guards setting up a barricade while Bon-Bon and Lyra sat off to the side eating some of Bon-Bon's bon-bons. "What are y'all doing here?" She asked as they all walked across the hall to where they were sitting. "We're getting ready to watch A beat the crap out of a bunch of guards." Lyra explained as she tossed another treat into her mouth. "Well I still think that the highly trained guards that outnumber A by a lot will win." Bon-Bon stated as she took the bag of candy away from her fillyfriend. "Are you kidding me? Did you not see what A did to those changelings when they kidnapped us or that huge wave of energy that ejected most of the changelings? It was huge! He could totally do that again, but non-fatal hopefully." Lyra countered as she started to fiddle with her phone. "But these are highly trained guards tasked with guarding Celestia's life. There is no way A could just beat them up and throw them around like sacks of flour." Bon-Bon exaggerated as an unconscious guard landed face first in front of the group. As A turned the corner music began to play and all of the ponies in the hall shuddered as they took in A's appearance. His face bore the mark of insanity yet his smile looked as though he was giving free cupcakes to children. His eyes and horn burned deep crimson red and those few that looked into his eyes could of sworn they saw how they were going to die. His very essence could be seen as an angry black fire surrounding him. The one thing that nopony understood was why there was a cutie mark on a changeling or why it was a Bullet Bill with blood dripping from its eyes. A then turned to Lyra and Bonny and all of his unusual features dissipated instantly. "Hi guys! Have you seen my pack?" A asked as walked over to them. "Yep! I got it right here A. Now could go back to fighting? I want to record this so I have something to show to you and Lyra when you do something stupid like fight something that outnumbers you or encouraging you to do so." Bonny said as she pulled a camera and A's pack from behind her. "Certainly Bonny." A stated as he shouldered his pack and several dozen more guards came into the hall way. "Wow that is a lot of guards. Good thing I learned how to do this. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" A yelled as smoke engulfed the hall. As the smoke cleared everypony's jaw hit the ground as they saw several dozen A's standing in the hall. The A's looked around before nodding and making their move. Five of the A's jumped out the windows in the hall while two of them snuck behind Celestia and the rest began fighting the guards. "I have never seen so much blood while its owners are alive since the mass orgy two years before my banishment." Luna stated as an A beat an earth pony with another earth pony. "So fast... think he would teach me?" Rainbow questioned as another A flew around at the speed of sound on steroids while punching and kicking several pegasus guards in the face and back. "That-herp-is just-blaa-wrong." Shining wheezed between barfs as an A rammed the head of a unicorn into another unicorn's ass and Cadence's wings flared. Suddenly two A's jumped out from behind Celestia with one on her and one behind her. The one behind her smacked her flank while the other one loudly declared "I'm on a horse!" causing Celestia's wings to flare and Rarity's and Cadence's horns to shoot off fireworks. Celestia then burst into flames. "I AM GOING TO SEND A TO THE MOON!" Meanwhile at the Harmonic Scratch music store A was battling Octavia as he was promised a coffee if he beat her. "I AM GOING TO SEND A TO THE MOON!" "He he he. Where was I? Oh yeah. Sparky use Surf!" A shouted as his Pikachu defeated Octavia's Groudon. "How did you teach your Pikachu's these moves? I mean Pikachu cannot learn Surf, Fly, or Earthquake!" Octavia quizzed as she sent out her Meloetta. "I won a contest and got any Pokemon I wanted with whatever moves, stats, and abilities I wanted. It was ether this or a Mew and I had a friend who had an extra and wanted a Kyoger. Thunderbolt." A explained as Sparky dealt a large amount of damage to Meloetta. "I did not want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. I won a contest as well. Now feel the power of DJ PON3!" Octavia cried as Vinyl popped out of a pokeball. A merely pushed a button causing the text 'Pikachu's Nuke ability activated!' to appear. The screen change to that of peace sign nuke. It the went back to the normal view and showed Sparky with one hp and the text 'Sparky hung on with Focus Sash!'. "Bow to the king, or just get me the coffee I was promised please." A said as the only employee of the Harmonic Scratch made him a DJ's Best Friend. "I do not get paid enough for this." Coffee Black sighed as Vinyl dragged Octavia to the back of the store as she promised to do whatever Vinyl said if she or someone she found beat her. Several hours later A was in the Ponyville prison while Celestia sat outside of his cell seething. "How and why did you do all of this?" Celestia asked him while he bounced a ball around his cell. "How is marine training, a lot of anime, and the need for coffee. Why is the need for coffee." A explained as he drank another cup of coffee. "What am I going to do with you?" She sighed as he played on a handheld. "You could put me under the care of someone you trust until they tell you 'okay he probably will not destroy you or make your life Hell as long as he isn't pissed offed at you' or something like that." A said while he played Halo on a huge flat screen. "That is a great idea, but one question. Where are you getting this stuff?" Celestia asked as A posted an update on Facebook. "When I leveled up I put some of my upgrades in recreation magic, enhancing my creation and summoning magic. Plus I found where Pinkie keeps the hammer space." A explained as a party hat dropped onto Celestia's head. "Okay I think I have formed the perfect plan." She then blasted A with a spell and called Twilight into the room. "Twilight, I am trusting you with watching A. I want you to enroll him in school and make sure he does not destroy anything."She said as the smoke around A cleared, reviling a small changeling with a stension and a bow tie. "Why is everything bigger and a millimeter to the left?" A asked before checking his Apple stock.
The New Foal"So, instead of putting me in like a jail or in some remote location under guard, Celestia placed me in the town where the most powerful defense for her country is, turned me into a younger me, and enrolled me in school? What in the fucking omniverse made her think that was a good plan?" A asked sarcastically as he and Twilight walked towards the schoolhouse. "Well she probably thought that if you were a colt you would have an easier time making friends and stop being so problematic for her. Now, go make friends, do not kill anypony, do not hurt anypony, and above all do NOT do something you or Discord would do. Oh and Lyra will come to get you after school since you traumatized my friends and she and Bon-Bon were the only ones who would watch you." Twilight replied as they neared they school. "Yeah that was a fun three minutes, and just because I told you guys about my past does not mean I could easily get away with murder and/or torture. At least I get to stay with Lyra and Bon-Bon while I am here and not a complete stranger. Peace." A chuckled as he walked away from Twilight and into the school to give Cheerlee his note. "Ah, you must be the new student I was told about. My name is Ms.Cheerlee." The magenta mare stated obviously while taking the note from A. "Why don't you introduce yourself to your classmates while I read your note?" Causing A to shrug and turn to the other twenty odd foals in the building while she stared at the note.'May not play well with others. Best of luck, Princesses Celestia and Luna' "Sup, my name is A. I know it is a weird name Pinks that is why I like it. It suits me. Any questions?" A said calmly as Diamond Tiara fumed in the back. "Yes, you with the bow." "Why are ya all black and full o' holes?" Apple Bloom questioned as she put her hoof down. "It is not black it is dark blue and because I messed around with a gigantic hole puncher, next. The marshmallow's turn." A replied as Sweetie Belle blushed. "Are you one of those shape shifting bug ponies from Canterlot?" She asked while A dodged a paper wad that came from Diamond's desk. "Yes but those guys were jerks who were trying to suck the love from all the city's residents. Final question from the muffin mare." "Why are you wearing a bow tie and a stension?" Dinky wondered as Pipsqueak huffed a little in his seat. "Because bow ties and stensions are cool." A stated in a rather matter-of-the-fact tone. "Okay then students I need A to take a small test to see what A needs to cover compared to us so I want all of you to read quietly and then we will have recess when A finishes. A, I need you to take this and go sit at your new desk between Silver Spoon and Scootaloo." Cheerlee instructed as she gave A a packet of paper and pointed him to his new seat. Not five minutes later all they foals were outside playing with each other. Well, almost all of them. A was taking a nap under a nice shady tree. A was drifting happily between the conscious and unconscious realms when he was rudely awoken by an orange chicken. "Hey kid, we wanted to know if you were interested in joining our club." Scootaloo informed A as he began to make out the forms of Apple Bloom, Button Mash, Dinky Hooves, Pipsqueak, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle before him. "Look, I would love to join your little club but-" A was suddenly interrupted when a piece of paper appeared in his lap with two words written on it in never ending fire. 'MAKE FRIENDS' -but I have nothing better to do so why the fuck not? Could be fun." A sighed in defeat. "Great! Come over to Sweet Apple Acres at five for initiation!" Dinky cheered as the group left. "Finally I can-" "Hey freak!" "Sleep. Fuck, what now?" A wondered as he opened his eyes and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing above him."64." A stated calmly, confusing the shit of the two mares. "What? Never mind, I am going to make you pay for cutting me off and making me read!" Diamond started to rant as A put on some headphones and started playing Pokemon on his handheld. "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" "Yep, sure. I understand completely." At this point Silver is just trying not to laugh as she watches the battle commence. Diamond walked right up to A and slapped his headphones off his head. A looked at his headphones and then back at Diamond as she pulled her hoof back to punch him. "Challenge excepted." A declared as Diamond's hoof connected with the tree. "Wow, he is pretty smart for his age." Cheerlee commented to herself as she finish checking A's test. Her ears twitched and she began to hear a faint noise coming from outside. *Thud* "Yeah." *Thud* "Yeah. *Thud* *Bonk* *Thud* "Woooooooooooooo!" "That does not sound good." Suddenly Twist burst into the room, panting from the all out sprint she held for a few meters. "Mith Cheerwee, Diamond hath a broken hoof and a concuthion!" She spit out. "WHAT?! How did she manage to both break her hoof and get a concussion?" Cheerlee asked as she got up and started to call Ponyville Hospital. "The kept mithing A." Twist stated calmly. "What do you mean 'she kept missing A'?" Cheerlee asked as they started to trot outside. "The wath mad at him thor interupting her when the had a quethtion for him by anthwring it, making her wead, and then ignoring her want. Then she slapped hith headphoneth off and twied to punth him but when ever she did all that was there was the tree A was leaning against, ath though A had mothed ever tho thightly to avoid the punch." Twist explained as they reached they tree. Cheerlee stared at the scene before her. A lied against the tree snoozing while Diamond Tiara lay unconscious and bloodied at his hooves. "A~ what did you do?" Cheerlee asked slightly worried about the mental health of her newest student. "When fighting angry blind ponies, it is best to just stay out of their way. Simply put, she swung I tilted." A informed as two pegasi dressed in paramedic gear took Diamond away on a gurney while a third stayed behind to find out what happened. "So she punched a tree repeatably, which broke her hoof. What gave her the concussion?" The medic asked. "A bowling ball." A answered pointing to a bowling ball a few feet away. "Where did that come from?" The medic asked as a pink figure fell from the sky. "There's my bowling ball! Now to find a new place to hid my cannon so Pound does not fire it again." Pinkie declared as she picked up the ball and bounced away. "I'll just file this under Pinkie." The medic sighed as the foals went back to school. "And that's when the paramedic's came to take her away." A said to Lyra as he told her about his day. "That is- Lyra scrunches up her cheeks- so awesome! Maybe Octavia would train you as an assassin if you asked." Lyra joked. "That would be the greatest after school activity ever." A reasoned as he stared off into the vast unknown. "Yeah it would. So they really asked you to join the Crusaders?" Lyra questioned. "Yeah, but I have to pass initiation." A sighed as he brought himself back from the unknown. "Good luck. When Dinky, Button, and Pip joined the Crusaders screams of horror were heard from their club house." Lyra shuddered. "I survived my torture resistance training without even flinching, how bad could this be?" A smiled as he waved it off. "When and where was your initiation?" Lyra asked. "Five o'clock at Sweet Apple Acres." A clarified as they walked over a bridge. "It is almost five now. I'll text Bonny and tell her you'll be late for dinner." Lyra stated as she got out her mobile. "Aw bollocks." A muttered as he realized he would not be getting dinner on time tonight. "All right let's go!" Lyra cheered as several ponies stared at her and A face hooved. "Lyra, you are standing in the fountain." A sighed as Lyra realized her position. "Oh right. Well never mind that. Let us continue onward to Sweet Apple Acres!" Lyra yelled as a quest detail appeared in his vision. "I can get these now? Cool. A little weird but cool." A stated as he poked the words only he could see.
