Luna's Lunacy and Changeling Love
How Las Pegasus Got Hit By A Meteor
Luna was not taking any of Celestia’s annoying habits anymore. The cake had been taken one too many times and she was tired of being the butt monkey of all of Celestia’s pranks. So the lunar mare thought of an evil plan.
Marrying Chrysalis. Cause there had been only one thing that had ever bested the solar Princess and it was that arrogant bug thing. And so she went out on a quest to get the bug of her dreams.first she prayed to the stars cause she needed some magical protection against getting hit by the ugly stick cause the love of an abomination against all that ponies held dear was something she had to work up to.
And then she drank vodka just cause Celestia had drank some a while back and that had caused her to get some liquid courage. But knowing Luna’s sheer ineptitude- she drank a few barrels too much and collapsed in the corner.
***
Luna snapped awake with the crowing of the cock. She then blasted the infernal racket with enough magic to make it explode in a feathery mess. She didn’t care cause her head felt like a jackhammer going full tilt in her cranial cavern.
She had no idea where she was. She looked across at her companion for the night and it was hideous. A carapace of black and fangs that wouldn’t look out of place on a cougar, some wings that looked like a feathery mess and some kind of ugly green hair.
And the holes.
Yep, she just woke up next to the Changeling Queen and that bug had a grin from ear to ear and she was spooning her so hard that Luna almost couldn’t feel her legs. She felt a telltale circlet of metal around her horn and she internally screamed. And Chrysalis opened her eyes and said the most terrifying words that Luna had ever heard.
“I am sure glad that we got married.”
***
Lets just say that Las Pegasus no longer exists anymore after the moon rock annihilated the town and all the ponies that lived in it. Except for Luna because that pony is way too important to die. If she died, the whole nation would not care because her sister had the better body and wasn’t harboring a demonic presence in her body.
But no matter the awful time that Luna had- she couldn’t keep herself clean. Cause once you get married to a Changeling, it eats your soul. And that’s why nopony would ever marry a Changeling. Well, besides that Celestia made Equestria so racist that non-ponies had to cross a border illegally.But even then it was simple cause rainbow colored ponies have no backbone.
***
And so the destruction of Las Pegasus was complete except for two creatures- an alicorn and a Changeling. Chrysalis was almost as difficult to kill as Luna and she also had some powered up love powers cause of consummation.
And so Luna never figured out why her cutie mark was a moon. It might have been related to the meteor that killed more ponies of unnatural causes than the entirety of villains that had plagued Equestria.
Blame the low death rate on idiot villains that couldn't kill ponies for some stupid reason. And so the Lunar Princess and the Changeling Queen had a ridiculous amount of nookie and tolerated each other. And that is true love, because love is not blind- especially if you get tricked into marrying a bug that sucked love wherever she went and used transformation magic to hide how ugly she was.
***
“And that is how Luna and I became married.” Chrysalis had just finished their honeymoon story. Luna stared at Chrysalis, who had a grin on her that rivaled Pinkie Pie’s insane grin. The entirety of Lunar court was silent in their death throes. If Discord’s story about Celestia was bad- the idea that Luna could kill such a profitable part of the Equestrian mafia without even trying was terrifying.
Mostly because every aristocrat, except for Fancy Pants, was either stupid, evil, corrupt, or straighter than a ruler. And also they practiced incest and so was related more than the Apple Family was.
Luna was livid. Why did she have to sign that treaty? Chrysalis knew she couldn’t read Changeling. And so Luna became a lesbian horse princess. She already had issues with ponies calling her ‘Luna, Warrior Princess’. And now she was dealing with a part of her that hadn’t been tended to in a millennia. Mostly because her sister’s royal posterior had to have cake and so she had made some stupid story saying that Luna had turned evil.
And so Luna sobbed herself to sleep while Chrysalis chuckled.
“Luna? You know I love you somewhat. We could always take over Equestria together.”
Luna shrugged. Maybe Chrysalis wasn’t such a bother.At least she felt happy when they made love.
They left the chamber and stepped over the pile of dead ponies that died from nosebleeds anime style. And the birds sang louder than usual because there was less stupid in the world.
“Chrysalis, you know that honeymoon stories are off the table.”
“But I thought I had to explain why I fell in love with you, and I do love me some violent behavior from a sexy pony like you.”
“Want to go get some donuts? Heard Donut Joe’s was tasty this time of night.”
“Lulu, I would be delighted.”
And so the happy couple laughed gaily as the ponies sat silently as rigor mortis set up its fun times. And that donut break was sung by minstrels hundreds of years later as the children of Luna and Chrysalis sat on the throne of Canterlot.
But that is neither here nor there and it is a very boring story.
And so donuts became known as the greatest dessert known to pony and the Treaty of Donut Joe’s became the first step in harmonious Changeling-pony relations. Even if Chrysalis was super ugly.
