Vinyl Crosses the Street.

by WublessFeat

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Human, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2260

Vinyl decided to get a treat from the local bakery. Just a quick stop and she'd be off to her school again. There would be no complications whatsoever to stop her from going to get her snack.....Right?

Crossing streets isn't that hard really, I mean, all you need to do is wait for the green light, right?

So all that Vinyl needs to do is to walk over to the other side with her wubs and it would be over, right?

She could just pop on her headphones and get in the groove in the middle of crossing the road, right?

It looks like everything around her is also moving to the groove of her music, getting it on, right?

So all that Vinyl needs to do is chill back and go with the flow of her music, get pissed at a driver who almost hit her, get a lecture from the street director for about an hour, get attacked by a (probably) rabid dog, and learn that she is one of the existing time lords in her universe, right?

.....Wait.....what?

(The short 'Music to My Ears' came out not too far back, and there were numerous comments about it. Here I am at 2 AM with those comments, with my own caffeine aided twist.)

Published 2014-04-14 13:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-14 13:50:02 UTC

Yer a wizard, Vinyl! Oh, I mean time lord...wait that's copyrighted...

Vinyl wasn't really an individual who likes getting sidetracked. She likes to do things as quickly as she can. No fuss or distractions, just her and what she needed to do or get and that's that. She also likes to do things her own way, and sometimes gets annoyed when other people try to oppose her methods to a certain situation. Right now she was hungry, so she decided to buy a light snack over at the local bakery in town where other students from her own school, Canterlot High, hang out with their friends. Vinyl would just walk over, grab something to eat, and go back to school. It's a very simple, everyday task, she could do it without anything going wrong, and that's the way she likes for things to go.

"So how," she asks to herself, "did I end up in this mess anyways?" With palms gripping her face and groaning at the annoying, yapping policeman in front of her talking about street crossing guidelines

"Be more attentive next time! It's only common sense to look before you cross, missy. Now look what happened to you! Be thankful that it was only a bruise caused by your fall, the accident would've been much worse if the driver didn't stop sooner." The traffic guard droned on his rant with clear annoyance in his voice. "Alright, what's important is that there wasn't a major accident and everyone's safe. Just be careful next time, okay? Oh, one more thing: take off those glasses. No wonder you didn't see the car coming." He sighed one last time and took off his aviators. "Who'd even buy a pair of violet tinted glasses, seriously..." The guard walked back in the middle of the street to continue his work.

"Well about time that ended, geez..." Vinyl thought to herself as she dusted her clothes off due to the little accident. "Besides, it was clearly on the green light still, the traffic light's color just changes too fast, even I saw that one." She rolled her eyes, putting on her Dr Pone headphones again, and strutted along the street, leaving behind a set of annoyed drivers waiting for another round of the stoplight. Glancing back, she saw a glimpse of the same traffic enforcer, wearing earphones and bopping his head, directing the traffic.

"Look who's talking..."

She looked around while walking along the sidewalk and noticed something odd. Tilting her head, she wondered why are all the cars are freaking out, with their lights flickering and wipers on. She also noticed people break dancing in the middle of the street. Suddenly, her eye glasses emitted a sound wave, right in front of her eyes. Vinyl took off her glasses in shock, wondering how would this even be possible. She then looked down at her own two feet, her eyes widening. Her shoes were emanating shock waves each step she took. She removed her headphones for a second and stopped for a while, thinking about what these phenomena could even mean. "Wait, those shoes are just my illuminating Fillys...But why is everyone moving in sync with the beat of my music? Am I the cause of this? Are they just pulling off a complicated dance routine for a performance? Am I just high?" Deep in thought, she suddenly jumped when she heard barking coming from a dog which was looking straight at her, evidently furious about something, looking ready to pounce.

Then, there was a sharp sound of a rip.

The owner of the dog tripped as the dog's lace broke. Vinyl froze in shock as the dog came lunging at her and soon they met face to face. "Forgive me cruel world! Forgive me for using wireless headphones on an outdated mp3 player! I'm not even out of high school yet, darn it!" She shouted in her mind, her eyes closed tight and bracing herself, waiting for the impending attack of the canine. Soon though, she felt a gust of wind beside her. Shaking, she opened her eyes to see the owner picking himself up from the floor, and his dog nowhere to be found. "Wow...phew...that was too close..." Vinyl thought as she was checking herself if the rabid pet actually did do something, fortunately enough, it didn't. "First the accident, now this. What a hectic day." She chuckled at her misfortune, but then she remembered about the weird events that is happening around her. She decided that she would just get her darn snack already and head back home to think about what's happening. Behind her, she could hear the fading voices of fillies shouting with joy. "Dress Mark Bone Collectors, Yaaay!" She then heard a loud squeal from the fillies as the sound of loud barking reached Vinyl's ears.

"Guys, let's get out of here!"
"Aaaah! Run!
"Didn't I tell you that it was near a dog house, Scootaloo?!"

Vinyl facepalmed once again and put on her headphones, before raising her brow. "....bone collectors?"

She reached the local bakery and opened the door inward and walked to the counter. Looking to her right she saw someone putting, in Vinyl's opinion, an excessive amount of honey to her tea. Looking to her left, she saw a familiar group of friends that always seem to hang around together. "Like some main cast of a show or something." Vinyl remarked in her mind. "Nonetheless they were generally friendly towards everyone, even me." Vinyl waved back to the group, tilting her head as she noticed at how oddly slow their movements were. Then, a girl with pink, poofy hair spoke up as her drink was finished, looking at Vinyl straight in the eyes with a cheerful and carefree expression:

"Hey! Hey! Over here! Yoohoo! Fellow omnipotent being! Oooh, I knew there was a another one like me hanging around in this universe! Wanna hang out sometime? Come on slowpoke, I don't have all day! Well, in reality, I actually do, being able to control time and stuff, but what's the fun in that right? So hurry up already! Hey, hellooooo! I'm over heeere!" Her arms flailing around wildly, trying to get Vinyl's attention.

Vinyl flinched at what the girl just said to her and tried to process what she heard, when Vinyl suddenly found herself snapped at by the cashier in front of her. "Uhm, I'm sorry Vinyl, but you're holding up the line behind you, so if you're ready, what can I get 'cha?" Mrs. Cake asked. Absentmindedly, Vinyl pointed over to a slice of pie, keeping her eyes on the pink haired girl, still trying to comprehend what she had said to her. Mrs. Cake shrugged and handed over her order, wearing a practiced smile on her face. Vinyl paid and took the bag, then gasped at what she saw when she turned around.

Everyone and everything were frozen in place, unmoving.

"Finally, some peace and quiet! Not that I don't like hectic parties, believe me, I do. Now where was I? Oh yeah, I finally found another fellow time lord! Yippie! Well, more like time lady if you'd like, but come to think about it, we're technically genderless. Oh whatever, we should promote gender equality to this universe, don't 'cha think? Anyways, my name is Pinkie Pie, well, in this planet anyways, nice to meet you! If I'm right, which I am, with me being omniscient and all, you must be Vinyl Scratch! How's life? Well, this current life of course, I'm sure you had a blast with your other past-or future-lives."

Vinyl blinked, her expression hidden under the glasses. (Well, then her blinking would also be hidden...)

"Gee for a time lord you don't talk fast enough, heck, you barely talk at all, anyways, you seem nice. I knew I sensed something back at our high school. It was you all along! I suspected it actually, but I didn't want to bother. Those glasses of yours though, it emits a signal when you're close to another time lord, doesn't it?! Wait...but my Pinkie sense should have sensed it too, right? Then again, these sometimes malfunction don't they? But...We're omniscient, right? These omniparadoxes sometimes boggle even me." Pinkie swirled her head around, looking dazed, then shook her head. "So anyways, how's Octy? Is she doing fine? How's your relationship?" Pinkie bounced, smiling wide as she darted her face close to Vinyl's.

Vinyl blinked again.

Pinkie having a smug and knowing face, quickly continued, unfazed by Vinyl's unresponsiveness. "Oooh wait...you don't have an Octy here, don't you? That was a different Vinyl, wasn't it? No, wait! It's the Vinyl that the beings outside the 4th wall write about isn't it? Yeah, I bet it is! Well let me tell you, you should get your own Octy soon, not those Octy's that die though, I hate those fics, eugh." Pinkie's face scrunching in disgust. "They're all just bummers, then again, I guess a sad ending can spice things up here and there." She shrugged, shaking her head.

Vinyl took a deep breath, "Wh-"

"Oh golly! Look at the time!" Pinkie gasped as she interrupted Vinyl from speaking. "Well, it stopped, yeah, but I meant figuratively. Classes are about to start again soon! I should probably go back and finish what my friends and I are talking about. They look so confused about how they even have their anthromorphic powers in the first place. Keep this a secret to them okay?" Pinkie then leaned in closer to Vinyl, lowering her voice. "....It was me! I used the element of magic that the Equestrian Twilight used to defeat Sunset Shimmer to make us into anthromorphs. I thought it would look cool on the human body, it did!" Then, her face suddenly changed into a disagreeing one. "Although now it just keeps popping out whenever we play musical instruments...Oh wait, that's in the future. Well, this universe's future."

Pinkie's eyes bulged wide, genuinely shocked as she looked at her wrist with nothing on it. "Oh look at the time- waaait....I already said that." She raised an eyebrow, but then just shook her head. "Anyways, you should head back to Canterlot High already! Don't want to go to detention, now don't we? Although if you're sly, you could just put it on fast forward." Pinkie giggled, winked at Vinyl, then pointed at the front door of the bakery. "I'll open up a doorway that would lead you to the front of the school. It's such a long walk from the bakery to school, you know. Now go on, time's-a-tickin'! Well not really but, you get the idea!"

Hopping over to Vinyl, Pinkie led her towards the front door of the bakery and opened it to reveal the main hall of Canterlot High. She then pushed her inside, making her stumble, and made one last remark as Vinyl was on the ground, "Oh yeah, by the way, keep a look out for universal bounty hunters as well, someone wants us exterminated from this universe, permanently! I heard that some hunters can manipulate Earth itself and cause some cooky things around you! So watch yourself, okay? Okay! See ya later!" The door closes as Vinyl was sitting on the high school floor, and blinked for the third time.

She then looked down and ruffled her hand inside the bag containing her pie, but then was horrified to see what came out as she grasped the item on her hand, nearly squeezing it out of rage.

"A....a cupcake?!"

Vinyl's face scrunched in fury as she stared at the treat on her palm."How would a time lord live with missing out her favorite pie, huh?!" She stood and walked over to her class, flushed of energy and annoyed at what she just experienced throughout the whole day. "Ugh, I'll just go back tomorrow."

Back at the bakery, a maniacal laugh could be heard at their kitchen. "The first part of my plan has succeeded with flying colors, sir." Mrs. Cake reported in, smirking at what she has in store for the time lord, Vinyl Scratch.

Author's Note

"What in the WORLD did you just write?!"
"The essence of 2 AM induced with caffeine, friendo"
"This looks like a horribly OC plotline for crying out loud!"
"Yeah, sure, go ahead and take this seriously, ain't mah problem"
"This is just........what the hell"
'Hey, they should add that as a tag: 'What The Hell', perfect!"

To clarify, if it need be, this is not a serious piece of writing, this is rather a take on gauging my sense of humor to the FIMfiction masses and whether or not it is compatible. This is also partly a parody piece of writing, or, 'trollfic', pertaining to the over exaggerated plot of other stories, not exclusive to FIMfiction. Please note that although I have coined the term: 'Time Lord' from the television show, 'Doctor Who', it does not follow the premise and guidelines of the show. My definition of a 'Time Lord' in this is one who can control time and space, basically, a god. If you have reached the end of the work or just have said: "tl;dr", thank you for your time to read this, and I will accept serious constructive feedback, positive or negative, and for the group of people who have done the latter, why are you on FIMfiction if you'd just scroll to the ending, what type of reading is that, seriously.

Some points have been taken from here: