Painful Origins

by TheShyPegasus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Slice of Life, Dark, Sad
Length: 3929

Fluttershy is probably the sweetest mare in all of Ponyville, but we know next to nothing about her past. Fluttershy finally tells the story of her past to her friends after a compromising situation is thrust upon her.

Fluttershy's life in Ponyville is being threatened by a member of her family whose sole purpose is to torture her for who she is. After a compromising situation brought on by her cousin from upper Cloudsdale, Fluttershy is forced, no matter how painful it is to finally tell her story to her friends. From tragedy to finding her place in the world with her friends, Fluttershy tells all that she can in the hopes that her friends will accept her for who she is. Will they be able to handle her story and Fluttershy's biggest secret?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-15 01:47:15 UTC

The Fall

“GET OUT!! Just get out you weak, pathetic excuse for a pegasus! You worthless, waste of pony hide – you FREAK!! GET OUT!!”

I was so scared. I was more terrified than I'd ever been in my life with him yelling at me that way. I just knew I was going to get another whipping after he calmed down, if he calmed down that is. He'd already kicked me in my ribs several times and then got a few good shots at my head before I could get away. I knew they'd be mad, but this was worse than anything I'd ever expected.

“Didn't you hear me the first time!? I said get out right now! You aren't welcome in our home anymore!! I mean it, 'Fluttershy'!! GET OUT!!”

There was more anger in his voice than I'd ever heard before. He hated me. He hated everything about me: I couldn't fly, I had no friends, and I'd been dropped off on him and his family. I wasn't welcome there from the start, but he wanted me out now, and nothing I could say or do would change it. I knew I couldn't stay there anymore, so I hobbled over to my little bed to pack up my saddle bags: a blanket, a brush, my favorite plush toy Ms. Cottontail, a picture, just the few small comforts that I had because I didn't have anything else. While I was packing I could hear all the voices outside my door.

“Momma, why is daddy yelling? He woke me up...” Came the voice of a little filly even younger than me.

“He's yelling at your cousin. Apparently your brother saw – “

“IF YOU AREN'T OUT OF THIS HOUSE IN THE NEXT 10 SECONDS I'M COMING IN, AND YOU'LL WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!”

“Woops, sorry 'Fluttershy.' I guess I accidentally let your little secret slip!”

I was frantically packing my bags while I thought of some way to get out. I couldn't go out of the bedroom door, he'd get me in the back and even if he missed he'd get my tail and pull me back in. I only had one means of escape: through the window, and my room was all the way up in the attic. I was terrified of heights and I still couldn't fly. If I jumped I may not live through it, and that thought made it all the worse. I was stuck, petrified at the thought of falling, but almost twice as scared of the beating I'd get when he got a hold of me.

“THAT'S IT! YOUR 10 SECONDS ARE UP AND I'M COMING IN!!”

He started beating down the door. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! It was louder than any thunder I'd ever heard. The thought of what he'd do when he got inside terrified me to the point of tears. BOOM! BOOM! One more kick, and he'd be inside. I had to act right then and there. Disregarding my fear of heights and my inability to fly, I got a running start and I jumped, breaking the window completely. Time slowed down as I made impact. I felt the breaking of bones and the piercing pain of glass, and then came the fall. I tumbled through the air from three stories high, fumbling with my wings trying to slow the impending impact, and then I looked down. I was headed straight for the edge of the cloud. I was screaming, crying, and desperately trying to make it so that I wouldn't fall over the edge, but it was no use. I hit it hard, breaking a leg with an audible snap as I fell off into the darkness. I fell for what seemed like an eternity in just a few short seconds and landed somewhere on the outskirts of Cloudsdale. I landed in the fluff of a large cloud, but it was still painful. I could feel all the bones that I'd broken, and all the glass digging into me as I watched part of the cloud turn red. I started to fade off into darkness. I was so scared what was happening, but at least I was away from them, away from the nightmare I was living. I drifted off slowly, and I didn't care whether I woke up or not.

Everything was dark and I could feel all the pain. The cuts, bruises, and broken bones all seemed like they were intensified a hundred times over. As I laid there in agony at the intense pain I heard the faintest voice come to me.

“Fluttershy...” I heard the voice coo me softly. “It's alright sweetheart, you're going to be just fine...” Then I felt myself being brought into a gentle and loving embrace that was so faintly familiar. At that moment all the pain went away. No broken bones or cuts, not even a single bruise. “When you wake up tomorrow, tonight will be nothing but a memory. You'll find your way, and you'll find friends and love like you've never known.” I began to recognize the voice as it continued to console me. “Just don't ever, ever give up.” Then it became clear who the voice belonged to as it began to sing a familiar tune. A lullaby from when I was a little foal that she used to sing.

Hush now, quiet now it's time to lay your sleepy head.

Hush now quiet now it's time to go to bed.

Drifting off to sleep leave saddened days behind you.

Drifting off to sleep let the joy of dreamland find you.

“M... Momma..?” I said trying to turn and see her as my eyelids fell slowly. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I never saw her, but I felt her hoof around me as her voice gently lulled me to a deep and peaceful sleep.

Hush now, quiet now it's time to lay your sleepy head.

Hush now quiet now it's time to go to bed...

When I woke up I was laying in the fluffy cloud, curled up in a tiny heap with my blanket over me snuggling Ms. Cottontail. I got up and stretched my wings and my legs, but then I noticed it. My bones weren't broken anymore, and I wasn't covered in cuts and glass; I wasn't even sore at all. I was perfectly fine. Then I took a moment to absorb my surroundings, and I realized where I was. I had landed in the pegasus graveyard... on top of my mother's grave.

“Momma...” I said out loud as I felt the hot tears streaming down my face. “Thank you...”

The Walk

I walked around Cloudsdale that day. All day. I looked for anywhere that I could stay, but I had no idea where to go. All I knew was that I couldn't stay in the upper end. It was such a beautiful place with all the houses on separate clouds, the playgrounds and parks were ideal, and the Cloudsdale stadium and amphitheater were both close by. There were museums and schools of the highest prestige, and the Young Wonderbolts Academy of Flight was where the best young fliers in town went. Lots of the most well known pegasus ponies in Equestria lived in the upper end. Any pegasus who was any pegasus worth talking about lived there, so of course I didn't belong there. That's what Uncle Sun Streak always said. And he was right, I wasn't anypony worth noticing, and I didn't really mind it. In fact I would just prefer that nopony notice me. I was glad to be away from there. I was nervous when I looked up and saw the house. I was afraid that as soon as they were up they'd come find me and bring me back for a beating. I couldn't let that happen, not anymore. I started my trek across Cloudsdale before the sun was even up.

I made my way out of the upper end and into the suburbs that surrounded the Cloudsdale industrial park, but I was too shy to talk to anypony, and far too shy to even think about knocking on anypony's door to ask if I could stay, so I just walked around for several hours until some of the ponies from school noticed me walking around. I recognized them. They were my cousin Vapor Trail's friends.

“Oh, hey 'Fluttershy'!” They called to me with the same contempt in my name that my uncle had. “Vapor Trail told us about your little 'secret'!” Neither of them could contain themselves as they both burst into laughter pointing their hooves at me and calling me the worst names. I couldn't take it, and I ran off fighting the tears that were welling in my eyes, but they followed. They circled me overhead as I ran just trying to find some place to hide away from all the names. I ran through streets and alleyways until I finally found a place to hide in the industrial park. I heard them laughing, still taunting me as they flew off in some direction that they thought I'd gone.

By this point I was thoroughly lost. I had no idea where I'd come from or where I should go next and I was terrified. All the sounds of the machinery and ponies yelling and the carriages were everywhere – it was the most terrible place I've ever been in, and I was lost and scared. Suddenly a vat of molten rainbow spilled over far above me and nearly landed right on top of me. It scared me so much that I ran right out into the middle of a busy street screaming. I didn't notice the carriage coming, and by the time I did it was too late. I stopped dead in my tracks as it was headed down its path. Then, out of nowhere one of the worker ponies swooped in and scooped me up out of the way just in time. We landed out of the way of traffic as he put me down.

“What in Equestria are you doing out here!? This ain't no playground, kiddie! You could've just been killed!”

“I-I'm s-sorry, mister, b-but I'm lost...” I whimpered, scared by his yelling and scolding.

“What!?” He yelled, unable to hear me over the noise as I instinctively covered myself and hid on the ground. “Listen kid, just get out of here before ya get hurt, kay!?” I couldn't do anything but lay on the ground whimpering as he flew away. I was so lost, and in a dangerous place, and I knew I had to get out of there before I ran into anymore worker ponies, so I picked myself up and forced myself forward in the direction that I thought was right. I walked for miles through the confusing winding streets occasionally having to dodge some careening object or moving out of the way of the carriages. I must've been stopped by three other workers that all said the same thing, "Get out!" That was all I wanted to do. I desperately just wanted to hide myself away somewhere where nopony would find me. The heat was unbearable. All the steam and the twilight sun culminated into heat that could match the flames of Tartarus. I was about to give up when finally I found it.

I'd found my way out of the industrial district and into Cloudsdale's south end, all the way on the other side of town. I'd walked all day and it was starting to get dark. If I didn't find somewhere to stay soon I'd have to find somewhere to hide myself away for the night. The south end wasn't as fancy as the upper end or the suburbs, but it was a cozy place. The local flight school was nearby and several of the residents worked small jobs around town. All the houses were small and bright with what appeared to be nice little families and other little ponies running around outside playing. I again was too shy to ask for a place to stay, and I didn't want to impose on any families as they had enough to deal with, so I walked looking for shelter from the dark.

The sun was just about to set when I found a place to stay. It was an abandoned building on the southernmost tip of Cloudsdale. It was kind of scary with its busted windows and lopsided orientation, but I had to stay somewhere, so I found a place to climb in the window around the back where there were a few trashcans stacked together. When I got inside it was almost too dark to see. Luckily one of the things I packed in my saddlebag was a little wind up light that played Momma's lullaby when you let it go. I remember using it on several occasions when it was dark and scary in the attic at my Uncle's house. I walked around the old building, and the quiet was almost deafening. I found my way to a small room with no windows so nopony would know I was there, and I wound up my light so it would stay on for a while. I had walked several miles that day, and I was only beginning to notice how fatigued I was. I was starving and thirsty and only had a small piece of the cupcake from my last birthday and a single box of apple juice left with me. I'd been keeping them in my room at my Uncle's in case I got hungry at night, but now they were going to be supper for the night.

I sat in silence as I ate my little cake and drank my juice, hoping that tomorrow would be better. I sat there deep in thought, assessing my situation, and I started to sob softly. I was an orphaned little filly, with no home, nowhere to go, and not a single person that cared about me – not one person that loved me. I curled up under my little green blanket and Snuggled with Ms. Cottontail as I cried in silence until I fell asleep.

You Don't Know Me

“How could you never have told us this Fluttershy!” Twilight was ranting and angry, and for the first time I was actually scared of my friends.

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash chided in. “I've known you longer than any of us and you never told ME!”

“Ah cain't even wrap mah head around it... Why in Equestria would you be goin' around lyin' to us like that! What else haven't you told us, huh?”

“B-but I –“

“No, no 'buts'! Applejack is right Fluttershy, if that's even your real name! Why did you lie to us?? We're your friends!” Twilight scolded me.

“I d-didn't...”

“I can't believe it, ME of all ponies you didn't tell, you know this is something that I feel like as your oldest friend I deserves to know!”

All the three of them continued to hammer with question after question and one accusation after another. 'Liar... Liar... LIAR!' All of a sudden it was like something snapped inside of me, where I normally would curl up into a heap and hide I couldn't do it anymore. 'Liar... Liar...' I wasn't a liar. I'd never told them anything that wasn't true, and who were they to demand this from me anyway? It didn't affect them –  They didn't have to deal with it every day of their lives, and yet they have the gall to stand there, yelling at me like it was their problem. They'd never even asked me about my past. I probably would've told them if they had, but no... They never asked and now they acted like they had some right to know the most intimate secret I'd ever kept – the most private part of my life that I'd tried to hide since I was a little filly! They didn't really know who I was, and here they were accusing me of being a... a LIAR!

“ENOUGH!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs while the tears started forming in my eyes. Everything was silent after that, and I couldn't hold it back anymore. “You have NO idea what it's been like for me! Since I was just a little filly, everypony has constantly made fun of me for one reason or another! You all think you have some right to know! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!! Not once have any of you ever asked me a thing about my past or where I came from, and now you're standing here DEMANDING that I tell you the most private part of my life!? Fine!! Here's the truth, my name is Fluttershy, and I'M NOT A LIAR!!”

With that I turned from them, and I flew off out the library window at a speed I didn't even know I was capable of. I was hurt. I was hurt worse than anypony had ever hurt me before. No beating, no taunting, no pain was worse than what I felt in my heart as I flew away from them. I thought I had friends that would support me no matter what, and would accept me without regard to anything. They didn't, and suddenly I felt more lonely than I ever had in my life. When I landed outside of my house I went limp. I could barely walk as I carried myself to the door, gasping for breath through sobs of sadness and heartache. I was angry at them because they hurt me, but I hated myself for retaliating and hurting them as I'm sure I did, and I hated myself with every fiber of my being for who I was.

…......................

“That was... horrifying...” The three ponies present at the site of Fluttershy's outburst finished in unison, still visibly shaken and locked in place by what they had just witnessed.

“TWILIGHT! APPLEJACK! RAINBOW DASH!” came a stern voice aside from where they had been. It was Rarity. She'd been about to walk into the library to join the meeting when she heard all the commotion. “I am absolutely appalled by your behavior just now!”

“OUR behavior!?” Rainbow began. “Did you even see what Fluttershy just did!? I thought that she was going to kill us!”

“Yes, I did see what the poor dear did when she was backed into a corner by some of the ponies that she trusted the most calling her a liar! Can you imagine how that felt to her??”

“But Rarity, she HAS been lying to us! You were there with all of us when Vapor Trail found us in the park – Fluttershy even ADMITTED it to us!” Twilight countered angrily to her friend.

“Twilight, I have to say that of all the ponies here I would expect you to understand this issue better than anypony else, and I'm severely disappointed in the way you've treated your friend in a time of crisis!” Rarity fought back in an equally angry tone. “We are supposed to support our friends, not overshadow their problems with our own! Or has everyone forgotten that lesson except me!”

“Oh, so we should just pretend this never happened, and all go back to fooling ourselves about her!? And I suppose that you're completely fine with this? You two see each other all the time and you're just going to go on like nothing ever happened!?” Twilight quipped, hoping that she'd catch Rarity in her hypocracy, but what she said next floored all of them.

“I've been 'OK' with this situation since before any of the rest of you even knew about it!”

“Wait, you mean to tell us, that ya'll have known about this since before yesterday?” Applejack asked with anger on her brow as well.

“Yes!” Rarity returned looking right at Twilight with a deadly glare. “Fluttershy told me the whole story this when we were just fillies! Who do you think has been helping her through all of this? It certainly hasn't been any of you! I've helped her through all of it, and I can assure you of this: Fluttershy has never once lied to any of you about who she is! Now I'm leaving to go find the poor thing because after what the three of you did, I can't even imagine how hurt she is.” Rarity slammed the door to the library on her way out, leaving the three friends still shocked at what they'd just heard from both Rarity, and Fluttershy.

“Great... This is just perfect. Now we've got two friends who are all buddy-buddy keeping secrets from us.” Rainbow chided with contempt.

“Ah still just can't believe that they've been keepin' it from us. And all the years we've been friends why wouldn't either of them say somethin'?” Applejack stated, feeling the same sense of betrayal that Rainbow felt. “Are you alright, sugarcube? You're bein' awful quiet...”

Twilight was quiet. She was going over the whole scenario from start to finish in her head. The whole story... The more she thought, the more she realized that they didn't have the whole story. They were in so much shock by the revelation of yesterday... They'd never asked Fluttershy about it. The more she thought about it she realized that the really didn't know Fluttershy that well at all outside of the fact that she was a shy pony that loved animals.

“Twilight..? What are you thinkin', hun?”

“I'm thinking that we made a terrible mistake... I mean what Fluttershy said is true. We really don't know that much about her...”

“Well maybe you two don't, but I'm her oldest friend! I know EVERYTHING about her!” Rainbow said with her confident tone shining through.

“Well... Where did she live? What was her family like?” Twilight asked hoping to gain some insight about her friend.

“Easy. She lived... Uh..." She drew a blank. "Well her parents were...” Rainbow suddenly realized she didn't know either of those things. She plopped to the ground searching her brain for anything to show that she knew her friend. “Ok, so she never invited me over! But I'm sure they were great and so was her house!”

“Rainbow... How much did you actually talk to Fluttershy when you were fillies?” Twilight asked hoping for a better answer than what she expected.

Rainbow thought about it for a minute. She pried every corner of her memory for the times she'd talked to Fluttershy, but she only came up with a handful, most of which were just passersby greetings when they saw each other. She dropped her ears and her head as she sat there in silence, realizing that she hadn't been as good of a friend as she'd thought.

“We had her backed into a corner demanding something from her that we didn't have any right to...” Twilight said as she started to feel a slight pang in her chest.

“Ah bet she was awful scared and hurt with the three of us all callin' her a liar too...” Applejack echoed, also feeling the guilt of her conscience weighing down on her.

“I think we should go find her, and apologize for what we did to her...” Twilight said as the three of them picked themselves up to walk out the door. “And let's just hope that she'll forgive us...” With that the three of them headed off out into the heat of the afternoon sun, to attempt to make ammends with their friend.