“My, my, my,” Discord said, flying around me in circles. “You are a most unique little pony. First alicorn born in over a decade, first alicorn male born in over ten thousand years...smart, cunning, and able to give Prince Blueblood post-traumatic stress disorder. I think I like you too much, I have to find something to hate about you.”

“Beautiful mane and tail?” I offered with a smile.

“Too petty,” Discord sneered. “I need a really thick and tasty hate.” Discord paused his circles around me and examined me curiously. “Oh, my dear…,” he whispered lustfully. “I might have found the thing I can hate. Did you know that you have a human brain?”

“Say what?” I asked, right eyebrow raised(1).

“I should be more accurate, or Twilight Sausage and the fans will complain,” Discord noted, a lab jacket and a whiteboard coming out of nowhere. “You’re brain’s architecture is pony-alicorn with the specific requirements of handling all three types of Pony magic,” and here, he sketched out brains inside of a pony and human skull. “But, your-well, let’s call it your soul, or your operating system-is human. It’s like...somebody took a copy of OS X and re-coded it so that it would run without a hitch on a Intel-based hardware architecture. Perfectly, I might add.”

Discord then gave this low whistle of admiration. “This is definitely a piece of work. So, why aren’t you pretending to be a human in a pony body, rather than be a good little pony?”

“I can’t,” I said. I wasn’t sure if I couldn’t, shouldn’t, or wouldn’t do it. It seemed like...cheating.

“Oh, yes you can,” Discord snorted, then smiled. “Why, you aren’t even using what your real name is-mind you, that would let somebody like me command and compel you, but…” Suddenly, his smile became sly. “I wonder, can I find out what you’re real name is…”

He flew up to me and his eyes went...technicolor for a second. Swirling, whirling, gyrating, spiraling cores of infinity looking into me and looking at him and…

Was he crying?

Something was running down from his tear ducts...and, with a shock, I realized that the color of it was red. Discord was crying tears of blood.

Then, he started to blubber. “It’s not fair, it’s not FAIR! I’ve been a GOOD little imp of Chaos, we had a deal. I won’t let him be the bridge for you!” Discord cried chocolate blood tears.

“Um?” I asked. “Are you okay?”

“NO!” Discord hissed through his teeth, “I am not okay. I am very, very angry-and if I start screaming, Celestia will think I’m hurting you and she’ll turn me into a stone statue and leave me at the bottom of the ocean. Do you know what brought you here?”

“Um, God, Old Testament version-the sort that’s long on rules and short on mercy?” I replied carefully. I suspected, but I had never heard the Voice again since the day I arrived.

Discord paused at this statement. “He’s letting you run free. Fully running on free will. He is letting you roam free, running a human soul on a male alicorn brain,” Discord whispered. “So, now what? Hm…”

Discord curled up into a ball, then spun around into a “thinking” poise. “First things first,” and he wiped his tears away and threw them into a nearby trash can. “Second, we need to work out what happens next.”

“What?” I’m trying to figure out where he’s going from here.

“Oh my,” Discord said, his mood suddenly shifting to happy. Which instantly made me nervous. “This, this is going to be some of the sweetest, purest chaos I can imagine. Oh, not soon, but it’s like a fine wine. I can wait for it.”

I stomped one of my hooves on his tail, angrily. Discord made an amazingly theatrical wince. “What is this...fear of me because I’m a male alicorn? I mean, you have four ponies that could probably blow the planet up on a whim if they wanted to. I can generate sparkles from my horn and that’s about it.”

“Well, I could tell you...but, for that, I’d want something in exchange,” Discord said calmly, looking at me.

“What would you consider an equivalent exchange?” I asked, curious.

“Make this Nightmare Night a horrible one for every pony involved,” Discord offered.

I looked at him in shock, and then said. “No sale, I’ll find out on my own. Or ask Princess Celestia.” I turned to face the door leading down from the patio, and started to trot back into the library.

“Wait, wait!” Discord said, trying to get my attention.

“Yes?” I asked, turning around and looking.

“Different offer, same thing for you,” Discord said with a huff. “All you have to do is wreck the showing of The Tragedy and Redemption of Radiant Dawn tonight. Do that, and I’ll tell you everything

I pretended like I was going to give that serious thought. “No.” I turned to face the patio door and reached out with my hoof.

“Last offer!” Discord gasped. “Everything you ever wanted to know about male alicorns but was afraid to ask, in exchange for a long, precisely timed fart during Act Two, Scene Two of The Tragedy and Redemption of Radiant Dawn. And, that is my final offer!”

“Will you tell me why you want to wreck Act Two, Scene Two as a part of telling me what you know?” I asked, letting my hoof slowly apply pressure to the door handle.

“No, but I promise it’s one of the boring parts of the play,” Discord smiled. “You’ll know why afterwards.”

I waited a second. Thought about it, seriously.

Then, I opened the patio door. “Three times failed, Discord. I can be patient, but I won’t wreck this evening. Good luck trying to find another patsy-and if you do, I’m going to dedicate as much time as it takes to turn you into a statue again and stick you on the dark side of Pluto. Forever. I might even come by and eat popcorn where you’re watching.”

“And that,” Discord said, as I was closing the door behind me, “is a very human response.”

The party managed to wind down, and I now had plans for Nightmare Night. Moonshine and Stardust and a whole lot of the young foals that were coming out tonight for Nightmare Night were going with me for treats. Which was neat, because I knew what Stardust was going to wear for Nightmare Night. And, once we’d let the last of ponies leave, firmly duct-tape up Pinkie Pie so we could clean up (and prevent a post-”Welcome To Ponyville” party)(2), and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna could coo over me for a bit, I got my first chance to walk around Ponyville.

I had an escort, of course. Moonshine was with me, and I knew that several Day Guard pegasui were flying around. And, a few of the unicorns around town looked awfully familiar… But, I had to let it slide-first of all, I shouldn’t have known that, second I was out and about! I had looked at maps of Ponyville all week, and I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

We hit Sugarcube Corner first, just long enough to try out one of their famous cupcakes (3). Checked out a few other locations, and our wanderings lead us to other ponies, Roseluck’s flower shop (where I picked up red roses for tonight’s play), and finally to the edge of town where the Carousel Boutique was.

It was...unique, I had to give it that. Colorful, confectionery, and fascinating, I knocked on the door and heard a voice saying, “Come in, come in, I’m in the middle of something…”

I came in and Rarity was helping a small white unicorn filly get into her costume. “Oh, I’m just helping Sweetie Belle get ready for the school’s Nightmare Night party and…,’ Rarity was saying as she caught sight of me. “Oh, Lucifer! If you can wait just a minute, dear, I’ll be helping you when Sweetie Belle is the Mummy That Time Forgot.”

“Mrrrrmf Mrrrrmf Mrrrrrmf,”(4) came from the wrapped-up bondage pony in the middle of the room. “Mrrrrrrde, Yeeee Deeed Doooo Meeee…”(5)

“Oh, don’t worry dear, those bandages are so absorbent they might as well be a diaper,” Rarity smiled, but she swiftly unwrapped the pony inside the bandage. “I promise, the costume will be better, this is just an experiment and it isn’t quite right yet.

“Gotta go, gotta go, GOTTA GO!!!” the little white blur that ran towards the bathroom said, and I was trying to figure out what was going on here.

“I’m sorry about that,” Rarity sighed. “I forget when I’m in the middle of inspiration(6) that other ponies might not have my huge and capable bladder. So, we were going to put you in a Valiant Heart costume for tonight.” Her horn glowed and I could see her magic sorting through the various items and boxes on the shelves. “Ah, yes, here it is!”

She pulled out from a box a dark blue cape and hood combination and carefully put it on me. It didn’t fit me like a tent, but it did fit me like one of those tube tents you see-large but snug. “This was for a young unicorn foal that grew out before I could even get it to the client. It’s a bit large for you, dear, but I can get that fixed in a minute. Stardust, right?” Rarity was looking at Stardust now, “Are you needing a costume, dear?”

“Nope!” Stardust said confidently. “Momma made me one, we’re going as the Princesses! I’m Princess Luna, she’s Princess Celestia!”

“Oh dear, I suspect the two of you will look wonderful,” Rarity smiled. “This year, I’m going as Frankenpony and Sweetie Belle is going as a mummy. If you can come back in an hour or two…,” she floated the cloak over to the work table. “I can have everything ready for you. Oh, and one second…”

She took a tape measure and measured my wings and their location. “I want it to fit perfectly, so wing accommodation is a must. Thank you, and see you soon!”

Rarity immediately got to work, humming softly, and I realized it was time for me to get while the getting was good. By the time we made it out the door, I realized that I had a question. “Moonshine, what are Princess Celesita and Princess Luna going as?”

Moonshine looked at me, and sighed. “I know what they’re going as, but I can’t tell you, Lucifer. They made me promise because it’s a surprise.”

“Oh,” I replied softly. “But, it’s going to be neat, right?” I asked hopefully.

“Very!” Stardust said. “I had to promise too, but it’s way awesome!”

I looked around and found where the Sun was. “We’ll be back in an hour, and then we can get ready for Nightmare Night,” I said. “Next up...hm...do you think we can make it in enough time to hit the bookstore?”

About ninety minutes later, I had my costume (cloak, leg bands, and gorget) in my saddle bags, and we were heading back for the library to change. Celestia was lowering the Sun with a showmare’s precision and I had to smile. Mom was very good at this.

I came back into the library, to a scene of wonder.

Clothing was floating in the air, as Rarity was helping everypony there into their costumes. And, I saw that Princess Celestia...was looking like a very tall, leggy version of Starswirl the Bearded.

With the beard. The LONG beard that reached to the floor.

I had to hold in my giggles.

I failed miserably.

“How long did he last?” Princess Celestia asked Moonshine.

“Twenty-six seconds,” Moonshine sighed, and pulled out two bits from her purse. Princess Celestia took them in her magic and put them in the “donations” jar for the library.

“Lucifer, are you all right?” Princess Luna-dressed up like Clover the Clever-asked.

I finished off the last laughs, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Both of you look great. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Mom, were you betting on me lasting longer than thirty second before I broke out into laughter?”

“Yes,” Princess Celestia replied. I sighed.

“I love the confidence here,” I shrugged. “Rarity, can you help me with my costume?”

“Certainly, dear,” Rarity said, and she started to pull it out of my saddlebags with her magic. As I helped to get the costume on, I had to think for a minute, and waited.

It could wait a few minutes.

As the flow and bustle of the preparations continued, I came up to Princess Celestia and asked, “Mom, do you know Discord?”

Princess Celestia stiffened, and looked at me. “A long time ago, I did. And, he was a very bad creature for many years. He has reformed lately, and has been living around Ponyville. Did you meet him?”

“I did,” I replied. “He asked me a question-why am I the first male alicorn he’s seen in over ten thousand years?”

Princess Celestia froze again, and sighed. “Of course, he’d ask you that,” she said to herself. Then, she looked at me. “A long time ago...there were many more alicorns. And male alicorns. Until your arrival, I was afraid that there would only be the four of us-myself, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle. The last male alicorn sacrificed himself to save my mother over ten thousand years ago. If it wasn’t for Helios’ sacrifice, Faust would have died that day, carrying Luna.”

“What happened?” I asked, curious.

“That is a tale for another time, and daylight. But, I can give you a name, my son,” Celestia said, watching as the crowd came back towards us.

“The name of the monster that killed my father was named Tirac. And, when I wasn’t much older than Twilight Sparkle, I killed him,” Princess Celestia said softly.

“You...killed him?” I asked.

“Oh yes,” Princess Celestia whispered softly. “If anything, I am sad that his end was as merciful as it was.”

I was reminded, yet again, of the sort of power that Princess Celestia had.

The run up to the Nightmare Night celebration at the castle was spectacular.

Normally, booths and food vendors and such were all around Ponyville. But, this year, they all were on the new, large road that lead through the Everfree Forest to the Castle of the Two Sisters. The goal was to encourage ponies to come along after trick-or-treating at the local houses.

Oh, and Pinkie Pie trying her best to be swan-like.

Moonshine and Stardust were neat in their Celestia-and-Luna costumes, and it was a surreal experience to be trick-or-treating with the Princesses. All three of them. It took a lot of effort to keep us from being showered in candy. Especially when Princess Luna broke out the Royal Old Canterlotian Voice and asked for candy.

Apparently, her last time here in Ponyville for Nightmare Night...things got a little out of hand. That, and Pinkie Pie was actually laying eggs...which confused me to no end.

But, as the hours wound down, we walked down the new road to the Castle, sampling food at the vendors, playing some of the games, and eventually we came into the Castle of the Two Sister proper.

And, “proper” was a good term for it. Canterlot was a show piece, a city to show what kind of power and ability the Princesses had. The Castle of the Two Sisters was a proper fortress...the same sort of way that you could tell the difference between Cinderella’s Castle at Disneyland and the Tower of London. Both were tourist attractions, but one was a real, working bulwark against the ravaging hordes.

In the center of the courtyard, a massive wood-and-lathe stage had been erected. Seating had been built up in tiers, and, the first ever showing of The Tragedy and Redemption of Radiant Dawn was about to happen. My seats (open spot, actually) was in front, and I was surrounded by Moonshine, her son, and quite a few other ponies that were members of the Day Guard or Night Watch. Ponies got ready for the show, the orchestra tuned up, and then, the music began.

It was a swift little march, to get everypony’s attention. Then, onto stage, strode four ponies-two at each corner, in matching cloaks of black and white. They started with the prologue of the play.

“O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend to the brightest heaven of invention, A kingdom for a stage, princes to act, And monarchs to behold the swelling scene! Then should the bright and beautiful Celestia, like herself, assume the port of Mars; and at her heels, leash'd in like hounds, should famine, sword, and fire crouch for employment.

“But pardon, gentles all, the flat unraised spirits that hath dar'd on this unworthy scaffold to bring forth so great an object. Can this cockpit hold the vasty woods of the Everfree? Or may we cram within this wooden O the very powers that did affright the air at this very spot?

“O, pardon! Since a crooked figure may attest in little place a million; and let us, ciphers to this great accompt on your imaginary forces work. Suppose within the girdle of these walls are now confin'd two mighty monarchies. Whose high upreared and abutting fronts the perilous narrow ocean parts asunder.

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts: Into a thousand parts divide one pony,
and make imaginary puissance. Think, when we talk of ponies, that you see them printing their proud hoofs i' the receiving earth.

“For 'tis your thoughts that now must deck our kings, carry them here and there, jumping o'er times, turning the accomplishment of many years into an hour-glass: for the which supply, admit me Chorus to this history. Who, prologue-like, your humble patience pray,
Gently to hear, kindly to judge, our play.”

And, in a roll of thunder, and a storm of magic, the play began.

(1)-I practiced this in a mirror, a lot. I thought I was going to need it.
(2)-Don’t worry, she escaped about twenty minutes later. Long enough for us to clean up enough that she realized that there was somewhere else she needed to do party prep.
(3)-The Sugarcube Cupcake Company would, years later, become famous for the cupcakes it made, including all the regional variations. The Trottingham Maple Syrup Chocolate Cupcake was one that had lines out the door at the Trottingham franchises when they made the four thousand for the four shops daily.
(4)-”I can’t move…”
(5)-”Rarity, I need to pee…”
(6)-Said with enough metaphysical glitter to poof every drag queen in the Eastern United States.

Author's Note

The next chapter is going to take a while.

Why?

Because I have a three act, mutli-scene play by the name of "The Tragedy and Redemption of Radiant Dawn" to write...and, it will be here before I go any further.