Derpy Needs A Date!

by Eclipse LunarSol

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Carrot Top, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Dinky Hooves, Random, Derpy Hooves, Lyra, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5904

Carrot Top was worried about Derpy. She was a single mother with no one to help her out when she needed it. Her eyes didn't help either. What stallion found Derpy Hooves cute?

(Cancelled)

Join Carrot Top and friends to find Derpy the perfect stallion before Hearts and Hooves Day! The requirements (In Carrot's view.)must be a stallion that finds her beautiful, her eyes lovely, and is fine dating a single mother. Will Carrot Top be able to find the perfect stallion in time? Or will Derpy never re-find love? Probably not.

Yes, you can request stallions for Derpy to date. Go ahead, review! Suggest a stallion! Explain why you (dis)liked! Be honest or I'll cut you! :pinkiecrazy:

Best chapter so far: Fifth Date
Stallions so far: Caramel, Big Mac, Soarin, Key Ring(OC), Music Within(OC)
List for possible next dates: Flam, Noteworthy, Braeburn, Spike, Pokey Peirce

If you want to make or introduce an OC that you want to date Derpy to me, simply PM me and we can continue from there.

Published 2014-04-15 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-18 04:25:15 UTC

First Date

"What are you getting at Carrot Top?" Derpy balanced her filly on her extended foreleg, her eyes indicating she was paying attention to both the mare in the chair in front of her and also keeping an eye on her little muffin."All I'm saying Derpy is that you need to get back into the dating scene." Derpy stared questionably at her. Carrot Top sighed."What would you do when Dinky finally understands she'll potentially never have the gift of two parents? What about when she asks about her father?" This last statement made a pressure build up behind her eyes."Sorry Derpy. I shouldn't have mentioned. . .him."

"I-it's okay Carrot, I just thought I would get over him by now. P-please continue."

"You sure Derpy? I don't want to see you cry. Again. . ." She nodded."Okay. So, I was thinking maybe me and the girls could go on a little stallion hunt and find suitable colts for you to go on blind dates with. Not so blind for the stallion though. I will be telling them as much as I can about you."

"That's sounds perfect actually, Carrot. It's sounds a bit fun and exciting. But make sure to tell me a little bit about the stallion first though."

"No promises Derpy. After all, it wouldn't be a blind date then, would it?"

Derpy chuckled at her best friends stubbornness over the subject. Just typical Carrot Top. So when are we -I mean you- going to start 'hunting'?"

"Tomorrow."

"TOMORROW?!" She almost dropped Dinky."Yes Derpy, tomorrow. The soone, the better! We must get you a stallion before Hearts and Hooves Day." Derpy sighed once more. This cannot end well for me. . . Derpy thought to herself, shaking her head.

As Carrot Top left Derpy's house, FYI was on the ground, she was met with the curious faces of Lyra and Bon Bon."So, did she agree?"

"Yes she did girls! Ooh, this will be so exciting! Just think, you and me! Picking and choosing from the uptight to the laid back colts of Ponyville!"

"I'm glad that Derpy is back in the dating world. She will finally settle down with a kind hearted, loyal companion that will stick with her and help out with Dinky. Trust me, when I foalsitted for her last month," Bon Bon grimaced at the memory."it was not pretty."

Carrot Top grinned widely."So are we going to stand here, or are we going to find that handsome stallion?!" The trio hoofbumped. "Yes we are!"

So, what stallions look available and eager for a date before Hearts and Hooves Day? The trio all thought this while sitting at an oversized toadstool shaped table. It seemed all the good looking and/or stallions with decent personality's were taken by either worthy mares or gold diggers.

Lyra sighed."I wish Derpy could've been a happy couple with her old coltfriend, like me and Bon Bon."

"Oh, Lyra. Not everypony is as luck-spoiled as we are in love." Bon Bon nuzzled her marefriend."Girls. Remember, we're looking for a stallion to date Derpy so she can have a loving maybe husband and father for Dinky! Keep looking and/or thinking about the suitable stallions that we can set up a date with for her!" They all re-hoofbumped.

After about half an hour later, Lyra was the first to snap."This is just hopeless girls! The stallions we do find aren't good enough and the ones that seem okay have a douchebag personality!"

"Patience, Lyra! We just need to keep loo- Hey. What about him?"

Bon Bon answered for her."Who Caramel? Yeah he seems alright. He was never one to care about a mares looks really. He's a bit a marenizer but he has a good heart and can be a good pal if things don't work out."

"Well I guess he's our first try! You girls go talk to him and convince him to try a date with Derpy while I make a reservation for both of them!"

They all hoofbumped and departed on the assignments.

Date: Good
Stallion: Caramel Bronzehoof
Location: The Black Tulip

"So you said you're name was. . . Caramel right?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Well you have such a wonderful name that's for sure, Caramel!"

"Thank you for the flattery Miss Doo, but I should bestow that onto you." The pair shared a nice laugh. This is going perfectly. I wonder why I never did this before Carrot suggested it these past seven years? Caramel's lovely pearly white grin clashed lightly with the darkly decorated restaurant.

"You said you own a horseshoe making shop not too far from here?"

"Yes, I do. Working with all the heat and tough metal almost everyday. It's what gave me these muscles that are the second best in Ponyville!" Derpy's grin slightly faltered. She did not like an arrogant stallion. She tried to wash off the feeling of rejecting the colt for only complimenting himself, but it didn't stop bothering her.

"So, Ms. Doo and Mr. Bronzehoof, have you both decided on your dinner and/or dessert for the evening?" Perfect! Dinner and dessert will get my mind off rejecting him. He's a kindhearted, loyal stal- Derpy's train of thought was cut off by the loud yelling of presumably a mare in the front of the resturant, but almost inaudible from the distance."I don't care. . . .Caramel. . . .he will pay for. . . . Derpy gulped. She had heard once that Caramel had a reputation for dating multiple mares, but brushed it off while on the date.

Derpy chose to retreat and not get into a catfight."U-u-umm s-sorry Caramel, but oh! Look at the time!" Derpy pretended to check a watch that wasn't there."I should go home and do my routine with Dinky and tuck her into bed!" Derpy laughed nervously and quickly made haste out of the establishment, past the screaming mare, and burst out the door before any commotion could be caused on her fault.

"Carrot Top! He was a player! A marenizer! Why would you set me up with him!?" Derpy wailed in a booth inside Sugarcube Corner."S-sorry Derpy. It's just. . .he seemed like a such good stallion when Bon Bon and Lyra were talking with him. We thought he had broken up with his other marefriends and perfectly single."

Carrot Top sighed."Look, Derpy, I promise we will not get you set up with another player and only a single stallion. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Derpy wiped away her tears."Okay. . .but you owe me!" Carrot Top brought up her hooves defensively."Okay Derpy, I re-Pinkie Promise." The PFFs hugged and left Sugarcube Corner laughing and joking with wide grins. Oh yeah, and Derpy with a full saddlebag of lemon surprise muffins.

Author's Note

I feel like a copier somehow. Is that wrong? I simply wrote this for fun. . .

Second Date

"Wait, so mummy is gonna. . .date some stallion today?"

"Yes, my little muffin. It didn't go so well last time, but I trust my friends in finding me my special somepony and you a wonderful father."

"But why do I need to have a daddy?"

"I grew up with one, and I just want you to have the joy of having one to."

"I never met grandpappy though."

"I know muffin, but you would be so much happier with a daddy, I know it."

"Why don't you just date Carrot Top?"

Derpy's smile slightly faltered."Let's just say it like this. Mommy doesn't look at mares like that but she does at stallions, even though she's friends with a couple that does."

This answer seemed to stop Dinky's endless flood of questions when she had overheard about her mother talking about dating with her friends. Derpy quickly hoofed Dinky a muffin for breakfast, kissed her on the forehead, sent her to school, grabbed her saddlebag overflowing with letters for work, and bolted out the door.

"So were at this again?"

Carrot Top sighed."Yes, we are Lyra." Lyra had been the one complaining most of the time they searched for a new stallion. The last one had been an utter failure, so this time the stallion's rep needed to be a good one. Even though Lyra was the most hopeless romantic of the trio, she still complained."Lyra honey, I don't see what you're complaining about. Think about it, we are trying to find a wonderful stallion to sweep Derpy off her hooves -ignore the pun Lyra- plus get a father for little Dinky, and a new friend we can drag along to the Ponytones's concerts."

Lyra cheered up at this last statement and got back to picking and reviewing different stallions that would pass by them.

"Do you think that Cheese Sandwich pony would be a good pick? He's visiting Ponyville for a little while and they could build a bond, even in the short amount of time he's going to be there."

Carrot Top thought over the party pony."Nah." Carrot Top waved a hoof dismissively as if the skinny colt was in front of her."I mean, even though Derpy enjoys Pinkie's parties a lot, and he's almost like the boy version of Pinkie, I think we can all agree the two party ponies must feel something for each other." The other's nodded in agreement.

"What about. . .Big Mac?" Carrot Top's suggestion almost made Bon Bon choke on her sandwich she had brought with her for searching time."B-Big M-M-Mac!?" Carrot Top nodded."You mean the most handsome stallion around that has made almost every mare that takes just one glance at him fall head over horseshoes for him, Big Mac!?"

"Yes, Bon Bon. I mean the Big Mac that has the most dreamy body that many mares have wet dreams about almost all the time the night after seeing him, Big Mac." Now it was Lyra's turn to choke on her sandwich. The couple sighed in unison."Are me and Lyra going to have to have to do the asking again?

"Sorry to say girls, but yes."

Date: Awkward
Stallion: Big Mac
Location: Grass and Hay Buffet

Derpy had almost fainted when she found out her date was Big Mac when he had arrived. Every mare in Ponyville would envy her, which some mares were already doing in the restaurant, and was not something she wanted to put up with. Heck, changing two hundred diapers that were from foals with diarrhoea and had eaten rotten food was better then that.

After twiddling with her silverware, hooves, purse, dress, and mane, she finally spoke up to attempt at breaking the ice."Sooo. . . you're the famous Big Mac every mare in Ponyville has dreamed of dating huh?" Stupid, stupid, stupid. . . "Ah guess you could call me famous in these parts. But in all honesty, ah really don't care for the title. In fact ah wish all of them mares would just stop ogling me and my body. Everyday I pretend none of 'em interest me or I'm too naive to notice, but I do and it just annoys me. So much one time that I snapped at Applejack while colting the apple pie cart."

Derpy was surprised how Big Mac didn't care for the fact that he was ogled almost twenty-four seven by about two-thirds of the populace."I guess I understand what you mean. Even if I'm not exactly viewed in the same light, I have to stand up for myself almost everyday and/or ignore all of the ponies staring at me just because of my stupid eyes."

"Hey now, don't be cursin' on yer eyes now. I think they're just lovely. It looks to me like a mix of the center of a daisy and warm butter." Derpy blushed a soft bright pink at the farmer boy's compliment."Thanks Big Mac. B-but somehow. . ."

"Yes, Miss Hooves?"

"I just don't feel that kind of. . .attraction towards you. Y'know, like love. I bet you would've made a great father for DInky but. . .I only view you as a friend really." Derpy looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"S'okay Miss Hooves. Don't worry about it. Most of the mares that actually dig up the courage to ask me on a date find they really like me for who ah am, but only want to be friends in the end. Or just keep pressing on hoping I'll fall in love with 'em." They shared a good laugh together.

"This was actually nice, having a nice chat with you witho-" Big Mac was cut off when it looked like about thirty mares burst through the wall. The solid wood wall."Where's Big Mac!? I heard he started dating somepony!" This blood curdling screech came from the largest mare of the group that looked like she was mental.

Her head snapped in the direction of him."There he is! Make sure she hasn't put a spell on him before it's to late!" It seemed like all of the mares were obsessed with Big Mac. Actually forget that, they were obsessed with Big Mac! Derpy scrambled to grab her things while some of the fanmares were prying her from her chair as if she was some kind of criminal that deserved to be executed."Bye Big Mac!" She gave a swift kick to a mare hanging onto her hindleg and flew out the door. Big Mac grunted out what sounded like a goodbye, but more like a 'help me.'

Author's Note

I feel people wanted comedy. This has a comedy tag so what the buck? I gave it a shot. Next will possibly be Soarin, but still suggest stallions, even OCs! And I have no idea what I was doing with the intro, heck even the chapter. :facehoof:

Third Date

"Are you going outside to look for another stallion, Carrot Top?"

"Of course we are Derpy!"

Derpy let out an exasperated sigh."Are you going to give up finding me a colt anytime soon?

"Nope!"

Date: Calm
Stallion: Soarin
Location: Cloud Cafe

"H-h-hello. . ." Derpy stuttered in front of her new date."Hello to you too! I haven't seen you since the Equestria Games tryouts. Your name was Ditzy right?"

"Y-yes, and no. It's my middle name actually. My first name is Derpy."

"Oh, sorry then."

"Oh don't worry about it!" Derpy laughed nervously and waved a hoof in the air. Suddenly, a thought struck her."Hey, since you're a celebrity and all, do you think any fanmares might blast through the wall looking for you?"

"Oh, no!"Soarin laughed."The fanmares these days are drooling over our new recruit, Thunderlane."

"Thunderlane?" The mohawked pegasus colt flashed through her mind."I haven't seen him since I worked at the Weather Factory! He must be having fun up there in the clouds with the rest of you Wonderbolts."

"Didn't you say you could fly through storms with ease?"

"Yes I can actually! I don't mean to brag much but if you threw a tornado at me I could dodge it and you'll be the one hurt in the end!" The pair shared a good laugh."This is going great Soarin. Why don't we order dinner and dessert?"

"That sounds wonderful Derpy! I think I'll have some pie! I remember the best one I had, the Grand Galloping Gala. I can still taste it on the tip of my tongue"

Derpy giggled."So I take it you enjoy sweets?"

"Yeah. Do you?"

"Muffins are my life! Come to think of it, I'll order some muffins right now!" Derpy waved the waiter over and they both ordered their dinner of spaghetti, muffins, and pie. Half an hour later, the food all came piping hot. She took one whiff of the delicious looking spaghetti laden in oats."This looks so yummy! Oh! Here are my muffins." The waiter set down Derpy's dough delicacies. She scooped one up in her hoof and bit into it, the savory fresh bread on her taste buds sending a warm feeling around her.

"Do you find if I have one Derpy?" Soarin asked.

"Of course you can Soarin! What mare would I be if I didn't share a harmless lemon muffin!"Soarin coughedout the muffin he bit into."D-d-d-did y-you s-s-say LEMON!?"

". . . .Yes?"

"I'm allergic to lemons!!!"

Soarin suddenly vomited on the floor."S-somepony get me to a hospital!" Ponies surrounding the table Derpy was sitting at were now staring at me."You heard the stallion! Get him to a bucking hospital!" Many ponies started to get out of their seats and helped up the sick daredevil and brought him out of the cafe. Oh nononononononononononono!!! What have I done!? What have I done!?

"Carrot Top! You know I love lemon surprise muffins! Why couldn't you at least tell me that he was allergic to lemons! Of course I would order them! And he's a Wonderbolt too! He could probably sue me for practically poisoning him! I don't have enough money as it is!"

"S-sorry Derpy! I didn't know! The least we can do is send him a get well card in Cloudsdale hospital." Carrot Top placed a hoof assuringly on Derpy's shoulder."Okay Carrot Top. But make sure to warn me about stuff like this next time! I could've killed the guy!"

"I know Derpy, I know. . ."

Author's Note

Allergies had to but into their date didn't it? *Sigh* Remember kids, steer clear of allergy infested foods! I did my research on this one, as I know that Derpy loves lemon surprise muffins, so why the hell not make Soarin allergic to lemons? Plus vomiting needs immediate medical attention. And remember my dear readers, OCs are welcome!

If you want to know, the original idea for Derpy leaving the date was Rainbowdash and Spitfire confronting him about playing them both, but I already did that.

Fourth Date (OC Appearence)

"So, Carrot Top," said an exhausted Derpy to her friend. "Have you found someone yet this time?" Carrot Top nodded and pointed towards a tall stallion with a light brown coat of fur, freckles on his muzzle, and a brown Mohawk of a mane. He saw Carrot Top and waved, then put on his headsets and tapped a button on a weird thing on his wrist as he trotted in a jogging pace.

"He looks like a good pick. He's a pegasus, which is a good sign if he can help me with things my way." Seeing Carrot's raised eyebrow, she added,"Dinky only like to help me get things using her not yet there unicorn magic." Carrot Top nooded in agreement.

"So, do you think you'll give him a try?"

"Course. He seems like a nice guy, so I'll give'm a shot."

"That's the spirit Derpy!"

Date: Fun
Stallion: Music Within
Location: Ponyville Annual Fair

"Oh my Celestia this place is awesome!" Derpy stared in awe at the annual fair. There were booths that lined up perfectly, rides that towered high above her, and games to win and enjoy. Music chuckled."I take it you're enjoying the scenery?"

"It's so lovely! Thanks for taking me here. I was going to take Dinky here eventually. Maybe tomorrow I could introduce you to my little muffin."

"That's great Derpy." The pair of pegasi both played the fair games and enjoyed there time together for a long time. They screamed together in the gigantic rides and laughed at the foalie ones."Wow! After all of that I am hungry!"

"Me too. Wanna grab something to eat? I know a great place not far from here!"

"Sure Music!" They both found a place that wasn't flooded with couples and flew up into the clouds. They landed on the clouds and continued to walk from there."SO THIS IS WHERE YOU SNUCK OFF TO, HUH!?" The shrill voice of a middle aged mare that slammed into the clouds in front of them looked like she was going to kill them both, but more Music.

"Young stallion, get your plot over here right now so we can go home right now!" The mare stomped a hoof in the cloud, sending a tuft of it to float into the air. Music's ears folded back and silently obeyed out of fear. She grabbed his ear with her wing and flew off with Music. He sadly waved goodbye to Derpy as he flew off with presumbably his mother.

"So, how did the date go Derpy?"

"I really don't know actually." Derpy played with her food with a frown."His mother came screaming her head off saying he snuck out of the house. She seemed like a real cliched pony to me."

"Aww, that's too bad. I was hoping you two would have a good date without any plot conveniences coming in and stopping you two from actually building a bond so there's a long unnecessary build up before the real love of your life come's almost out of nowhere and you get married and stuff." Derpy stared at Carrot Top for the longest time ever with both eyes facing her."Celestia forgive me for saying this but, WHAT THE FLYING BUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?"

"Oh!" Carrot Top realized what she just said."Ummuhh. . .NOTHING! I DIDN"T SAY ANYTHING! I THINK I HEAR MY BROTHER'S LAUNDRY CALLING!" Carrot Top galloped out of the door before Derpy could say anything.

Author's Note

This chapter's first paragraph written by Music within us. He decided not to continue writing the chapter, so I just grabbed what he wrote and took off from there. With his permission, of course. :twilightsheepish: Check out his stuff! And if you don't want to, just take a moment to chat with him.

Again, no idea what the buck I'm doing.

Fifth Date (OC Appearance)

No sooner had key Ring opened his mouth to continue the history lesson did the bell cut him off. Shutting his mouth he glanced up at the clock and adjusted his glasses to make sure he was looking at it correctly.

With a heartfelt chuckle he began, “Well I guess that’s it for to-” the history teacher’s voice was drowned out by the mixture of fillies and colts cheering then by the thunderous hoof fall that followed.

Key King shook his head though never stopped smiling. Sometime later he found himself at the town square to pick up things for a quick supper. He hadn’t decided on what he was going to make for himself and had been so lost in thought that he didn’t see the mare walk out in front of him. With an obstacle now in his way and not paying attention the red coated stallion walked right into the mare and toppled over her when he lost his footing, sending both of them to the ground in a mass of feathers and fur. Rubbing his sore horn Key Ring opened his eyes and saw who the unlucky mare he had ran into- a grey Pegasus mare with a yellow mane. He recognized her as the mail mare who often gave him the wrong mail, which always would result in Key Ring having to go around town on a hunt for his own mail.

“I-I’m so sorry,” the grey mare stuttered out as she got to her hooves and dusted herself off. The mare then proceeded to try to dust Key Ring off while she apologized for not looking where she was going. Key Ring laughed and took a step back to avoid any further brushing from the mare, waving his hoof in front of his face, “Not a problem. As long as you’re not hurt that is. You’re not . . . are you?”

“O-Oh, no. I’m fine.”

“Then no problem,” Key Ring gave a definite nod, “And to be honest it was also kind of my fault too Miss . . . uh . . . sorry I don’t even know your name.”

“Ditzy,” the Pegasus said, “It’s Ditzy Doo.”

“Oh you’re Dinky’s mother,” Key Ring said recognizing the last name belonging to one of his new students, a unicorn filly if his memory was to be trusted. With his mind back on the filly he remembered something and his attention snapped back to the present, “Uh Mrs. Doo if I may, I need to talk to you about your daughter.”

“Dinky? Did she do something wrong?” Ditzy asked a hint of concern in her voice. The Pegasus’ worried expression only made the teachers words harder to say, “Well that’s the problem. She really hasn’t done anything wrong wrong . . . but her grades have been slipping as of late. I was hoping you'd know the reason. I’ve asked myself but she isn’t willing to talk to me.” Key Ring turned his head then muttered out, “Maybe if it was Cheerilee she might be willing to open up but me . . . I guess I’m too new for her to talk so openly too.”

“I think it might have something to do with me dating,” Ditzy said with her head down. Key Ring would admit he might not be the best stallion at reading the signals, but Ditzy to him certainly looked disheartened. He quickly tried to think of something to say to lighten the atmosphere. When he had thought of something he trotted beside Ditzy and bumped his flank against hers. Ditzy had falling into her thoughts and let out a yelp from the unexpected hit, her wings beating quickly to keep her standing. The right wing also managed to smack Key Ring on the chin on an upward swung, knocking him to the ground.

“Oh Celestia I’m so sorry!”

“Nah, I think I deserved that,” Key Ring said and stood back up, rubbing the spot where he had been hit. The hit seemed to spark another thought in the teacher’s mind and he acted quickly on it, “If you have a daughter why are you dating? I thought you were married?”

Ditzy looked away and didn’t seem to want to answer his question. At least that was what Key Ring gathered and nodded his head, bowing his head low enough that his horn touched the ground, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried. In fact let me make it up to you!”

“You don’t have too.”

“I insist!” Key Ring said and hooked one of Ditzy’s front legs under his, the key hanging around his neck tapping against his chest, and began to drag her off.

“What!?” Key Ring asked when he heard the snort escape the mare despite having tried to hold it back with her hoof. Ditzy shook her head and tried to say it was nothing but Key Ring raised his eyebrow and asked again as they entered the fast food restaurant, “No come on, tell me what’s so funny.”

“Sorry but when you said you’d make it up to me I didn’t think it’d be fast food,” Ditzy said with a hint of yet another giggle then apologized. Key Ring however just laughed and dug out a few bits from his pocket, “Well a teacher’s salary only goes so far. I hope you don’t think I’m cheap.”

“No,” Ditzy chuckled again, “Not at all. After all the dates I’ve been on something quaint is actually a nice change of pace.” Ditzy stopped at the counter then looked back at Key Ring, her eyes narrowing, “You’re not dating another mare, are you?”
“Hard to find a special somepony when you’ve just moved to town”

“No Legion of fanmares?”

Key Ring’s laughter was all the answer she needed for an answer. Sitting down to wait for their food to be brought over she continued, “Food allergies?”

“None that I’m aware of”

“What about angry mothers?”

“Ditzy I’m in my mid-twenties, if my mother wants to be angry with me she can’t do anything about it,” Key Ring said with a nod then proceeded to take a sip from his drink, “Besides my mother lives all the way in Canterlot.”

“Well that’s a relief.” The two carried on a lighthearted conversation while they waited for their food to arrive, though the conversation was more Ditzy asking Key Ring about life growing up in Canterlot and how he was liking Ponyville.

“I swear I’d never been so scared in my entire life! I seriously thought Princess Celestia was going to kill me!” Key Ring laughed as he finished his favorite story from his colthood growing up as a student of her school, though he had just barely passed the entrance exam. Ditzy for what it’s worth was laughing just as well which warmed the stallion’s heart seeing her more upbeat. When the food arrived he began to dig in with a feverish pace, stopping when he saw Ditzy looking at him with wide eyes.

“Oh. Sorry,” Key Ring wiped his face free of the condiments. When they had finished their meal Key Ring waited and pushed Ditzy’s chair in as he had been raised to do. She thanked him and looked around, “So . . . . I guess I’ll be going then.”

“I guess if you want. We can always do something else.”

“Like?”

“Why don’t you pick,” Key Ring offered and waited while the Pegasus thought about it. When she had something in mind she looked back up at it- at least he thought she was looking at him, with her eyes always looking in two different directions it was kind of hard to tell. “Do you like karaoke?”

“I can say I’ve never tried it before, but you only live once, right? How far is it?”
“It’s just down the road,” Ditzy pointed out the window towards the darkened building that housed the karaoke bar. Key Ring nodded his head and turned his horn to the restaurant’s front door. The air filled with the sensation of magic being formed and a small light emitted from Key Ring’s horn before shooting over to the door. The beam of magical energy didn’t seem to do anything and the stallion calmly walked over to it, opening it, “Ladies first.”

Ditzy rolled her eyes and stepped through the door. For a moment she was confused. Instead of stepping outside into the calm of a Ponyville at dusk she instead had stepped into the lobby of the karaoke bar, the ponies inside not acting any different than if she had just came from outside. Key Ring stepped through and seemed to find some amusement in his date’s confusion. He gently pushed against her again to snap her out of her confusion, offering her an explanation, “My special talents happen to be doors, keys, locks, and the like.”

“Oh . . . .” Ditzy said looking back at the door as she followed, still confused but decided to let it go. She never understood how unicorn magic worked anyways. The next hour was spent with the two ponies watching the unfortunate pony on stage singing their heart out. More than once Key Ring had tried to get Ditzy to sing a song but she always kindly refused; Key Ring on the other hoof outright refused to get up and sing. His flat denial soured the mood a little. Of course it was fun to hear people sing but the point of a karaoke bar was to get up and sing yourself. Key Ring seemed to finally understand this and with a groan stood up, popping his joints after having sat down for so long. “I guess I can do one song.”

“Really!?” Ditzy immediately sat back down and felt her face grow red from having shouted a bit too excitedly. Key Ring had walked back over from the music selection box, able to hear her even across the room, and nodded, “Yeah kind of no point of us being here if one of us doesn’t look like a silly filly. And I might as well break the ice.”

“But only one,” Key Ring reminded Ditzy and she nodded happily, clapping her hooves together. Her smile vanished when Key Ring reminded her it’d only be fair that since he sang a song she’d have to sing one as well. When the song Key Ring had chosen finally came up he took a deep shaky breath and walked onstage. He was so nervous he had forgotten to let the breath out, his normal ashy red coat turning purple, then remembered to exhale and inhale.

Key Ring nodded his head to the heavy bass as the song begun, holding the microphone with his magic. He paced back and forth across the stage, wishing he had his hat on now, and then began to sing. Despite knowing the song he was always half a hoof behind the actual song. Ditzy had to admit that he wasn’t as bad as a singer as he had made himself out to be; at least not at the parts that required him to sing at a higher pitch, when those came his voice would raise until his voice squeaked from the strain.

Thankfully for Key Ring the number of times he had to raise his voice where low and he managed to make it through the song while making himself look only slightly like a fool.“That was great!” Ditzy complimented with a side of applauds. Key Ring sat down and nodded his head with a smile on his face.

“Yeah thanks,” he said and wiped his forehead free of sweat, “I bet you’ll be a whole lot better than m-” Someone whistling cut the red stallion off and both ponies turned to see a dark green unicorn saunter over to Key Ring, obviously drunk, and put her hoof around him. “So hun why didn’t you tell me you were coming here? I would’ve emptied the place just for you,” the drunk mare said and nuzzled against him. The mare looked back at Ditzy with a small scowl and then gave Key Ring a kiss on the cheek, “I see you brought the Herp-a-Derp too. How cute, trying to score points with the single mother, huh?”

“I-I think I should go,” Ditzy said and bolted for the door before Key Ring could stop her. Thankfully whatever magic the stallion had used to connect it to the fast food place had long since disappeared, allowing her to go outside and take to the skies.

Outside and looking around desperately for Ditzy, Key Ring sighed in defeat. His ears perked up when he heard hooves behind him. He didn’t even need to turn his head to know who it was. “You did that just to ruin our date, didn’t you?”

“Mhmm,” the unicorn confirmed as a green ring of fire appeared around her. The fire traveled up her body as it returned to her original Changling form. “It’s part of the plot after all.”

“What plot?”

“Oh you,” the Changling said pinching Key Ring’s cheek hard then shook it, “You act so cute when you play dumb.”

“Whatever.” Key Ring knocked the hoof away from his face, “I’m still going to have to apologize to her.”

“Eeyup.”

Author's Note

This chapter? Yeahhh. . .it wasn't written by me, it was by Key Ring. He's a great critic, and if I could, I would make him criticize my other stories. So yeah, check him out in your free time.