Everything around me was burning. I couldn't feel the heat from the flames but the smoke was very real. It choked me and I could barely make out the room around me. There were boxes strewn all over and not one of them was untouched by the flames.
Despite all of this I was not concerned. My attention was wholly focused on the mare in front of me. She was only a dark outline behind the smoke but I could still clearly see the gun she had leveled at my forehead. I knew she wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger and I wasn't afraid of it.
The gun went off and I reflexively squeezed my eyes closed. Nothing happened. When I opened my eyes again the burning room around me was gone, replaced by an endless expanse of darkness. The only landmark was a barely visible, narrow stone path under my hooves. I knew I shouldn't follow it. I knew it lead somewhere I couldn't come back from.
From the darkness an alicorn strolled down the path towards me. She was nearly as black as the air around us. I couldn't help but take a step forward towards her as she stopped in front of me. Her eyes were empty in such a way that they threatened to draw in any spark of light that threatened to illuminate us. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that emanated forth was that of a winter wind through dry leaves.
The sound stirred something deep in my chest. I shuddered, but a smile crept onto my face.
"I understand."
The alicorn seemed satisfied with my reply. Something shimmered deep within the sockets of her lifeless eyes and she leaned in close to my face. I closed the distance and pressed my lips against her. There was something familiar about it, something that made me feel guilty inside. I tried to pull away but-
The hoof pounding against my bedroom door painfully jarred me out of the dream. I started awake and cracked my head against the headboard as I jolted out of the position I'd been sleeping in. The sound must have been audible outside the room because the knocking ceased.
"I'm awake, I'm awake!" I called out, squinting in pain as I held a hoof on top of my head where a lump would surely form. "I'll be out in a damn minute."
I immediately felt remiss about my language, but truthfully the pony outside had heard worse from me under less deserving circumstances. She wouldn't be too terribly offended.
With the knocker gone for at least the moment I rolled over in bed, trying to work up the motivation to get up. Instead I just laid on my back and stared through the skylight in my bedroom ceiling. Snow obscured enough of the light coming through that it was impossible to tell if the sun was rising or setting. It made waking up for my nocturnal schedule at least a little less disorienting.
Guilt if nothing else finally made me pry myself out of the pile of blankets Id buried myself under. I didn't bother to tuck them back into place before I flipped a switch beside my bed, illuminating a vast array of free-standing and table side lamps around my room.
From there I trotted across the room and pulled open the black-out curtains over the window on the far wall. Several stories below the hustle and bustle of Canterlot's streets did not seem diminished by the fat snowflakes that floated lazily down onto them.
Canterlot winters were not all that different from those I'd grown up with in Baltimare. Both cities had quite substantial weather teams to thank for that. Between Canterlot's high elevation and Baltimare's coastal influence both saw a fair amount of snow.
If not for the apartment I found myself in I could have almost pretended I was back in my old city. My apartment there had been what some ponies might have called ultra-modern. Decor with lots of sleek, sharp edges and all the most up to date amenities.
My new home in Canterlot was a far cry from it.
What had once been an extensive three story home originally built for Canterlot's old money had been renovated into three spacious apartment units. They were still up to date on amenities, but no matter how many modern items I put into the space the old world charm still seeped through.
I was sorely reminded of this as I passed the claw-footed tub and shower on my way into the master bathroom to wash the sleep from my face. I hated it more than I would admit, but still not enough to fork over the money to have it replaced.
Dressed in a particularly puffy green down-filled vest I eventually made my way out of the bedroom to begin the usual evening routine. I found my little orange unicorn colt, Bookmark, sprawled in his usual spot on the end of the living room sofa watching cartoons.
"Hey buddy, how was school?" I stopped beside him, patting him on the head all the while being careful not to obstruct his view.
"Hey Uncle Mossy..." The colt was barely conscious of anything outside of his television program. "It was good. You know, all the usual stuff and junk."
I nodded and smiled thoughtfully. "Stuff and junk, eh? Sounds like a good day indeed."
From the living room I made my way into the kitchen. There amongst the antiquated oak cabinets and marble counter-tops I found the pegasus responsible for waking me. She balanced a covered Tupperware bowl on one wing as she rooted through my refrigerator.
"Honestly Mr. Hooves, I think you two might die of food poisoning if I didn't clean out the junk you call food in here every week." The light purple mare favored me with a dour expression over her shoulder before resuming her purge of my so-called edibles.
Ginger Wind, or Windy as she preferred to be called had been a godsend. For a while Bookmark and I had lived off of the insurance money I'd received when my house in Ponyville burnt to the ground. It had been a substantial sum, no doubt thanks to some gentle nudging by one of the royal sisters, but it was far from infinite. I had found work both to bring in money and save myself from boredom, but it left me with time in the day where Bookmark was unattended.
A pony from work had recommended Windy as a nanny before I even officially started. Bookmark took to her immediately, and she seemed to take my attitude in stride. It had been a perfect match. She watched Bookmark at her home after school, allowing me to sleep until six or so in the evening when I awoke to prepare for work. This included feeding him dinner, which she even sometimes brought for me as well.
"You wouldn't know good junk food if it jumped out of the fridge and bit you on the flank." I stated indignantly, snatching the bowl from her wing. "If you eat nothing but pristine food all of your life you never get a chance to build up an immunity to anything."
Ginger Wind pulled a paper plate with a slice of old pineapple pizza out of the fridge and tossed it into the nearby trashcan. "You know, I honestly cant tell if you're being serious or not and that truly scares me." She scraped her tongue against her front teeth and spat dryly. "Just looking in there makes me cringe."
"No one said you had to eat anything in there. Relax a little." I examined the bowl I had stolen. It was lukewarm vegetable stew that she had most likely intended to put in the fridge for me before she'd spied the other other contents.
While Windy continued to fuss about in the kitchen I set myself up at the table and helped myself to the stew. It was a little bland, but as a beggar I was not about to be a chooser. By the time I finished off the bowl it was time for me to head off to work.
"Be sure to help Ms. Windy do the dishes after you do your home, buddy. And don't stay up too late making Hearths Warming cards." I called into the living room as I wrapped my scarf around my neck and set off to find my matching knit hat.
"Quit dawdling, you're going to be late." Windy scolded, flinging my hat out of the kitchen. I had no idea how I'd managed to leave it there.
"Thanks, mom."
As I descended the stairs of my apartment complex a coughing fit shook me to the point of having to brace myself against the railing of the front steps. A white cloud of steam from my breath floated around my head as if I was coughing up smoke from some internal fire. By the time I was finished I could see my own private galaxy of little white stars twinkling before my eyes. I had to rest for a minute before starting my walk to work.
The fits had started in November and were increasing in regularity and severity as the months went on. I’d gone to several clinics hoping for a remedy, but each pony had given me a different diagnosis. Bronchitis, walking pneumonia, whooping cough, and several that I had never heard of before. The usual end result had been a course of antibiotics and the old ‘take two and call me in the morning’ routine.
Bookmark never seemed to come down with it, so at least it wasn’t contagious. As long as it didn’t affect the colt or prevent me from doing my job, I could deal with it. It probably just looked worse than it was.
The eastern residential district of Canterlot was nice by any standard, but it was a far cry from the luxurious northern districts where the upper crust of the city resided. My district was what would have been called the servant district in the old days. It housed many of the other employees of the castle and shopkeepers who could afford to own their own house as opposed to living above their shops.
The area was a little further from the castle itself than I would have liked, but the relative informality of the place made me much more comfortable. This was a rare part of Canterlot where I could freely walk the streets without getting any sideways glances for my somewhat scruffy appearance.
I arrived at the eastern castle gates just as the sun began to slip completely below the horizon. The changing of the guard had not yet occurred, so the servant entrance I used was still watched over by two solar guardsponies.
As per routine the earth ponies lazily crossed their pikes in front of me, blocking my path as I approached.
"Halt. Present identification." The larger of the two spoke up in a practiced professional voice.
I held up a hoof, gesturing for them to give me a moment as I fished a small chain with a gold coin dangling from it out of my vest pocket. Gripping the coin in my teeth I flipped the chain around my neck and approached the pair of guards.
The face of the coin displayed a beautiful engraving of the royal emblem, the two royal sisters circling each other. The flip side of the coin was blank until the chain came to rest around my neck. Slowly but surely a pinprick of magical light appeared in the center and swirled outward, carving a perfect image of my own face.
"Mossy Hooves; night caretaker for the royal gardens." I announced in an equally practiced voice as the pair gave my ID a quick once-over. Seemingly satisfied, they retracted their pikes and allowed me to pass.
The ID coins had come into use after the changeling invasion some years ago. Literally any pony on castle grounds had to have a coin specially enchanted for them alone. Each coin would only react with the specific pony it was created for based on some kind of magical detection system I didn't understand. What I did understand was that a disguised changeling wouldn't be able to trigger the coin of a pony it was trying to duplicate.
After passing through two more of the usual palace security checkpoints I arrived at the castle gardens and set out to find the daytime caretaker, Bear Bones. I found the black pegasus in the aviary trying to coax a pair of screech owls out of their nest box.
“Let me guess, Celestia let Philomena have free roam of the gardens today?” I said quietly as approached the bottom of the nest box’s pole, not wanting to spook the owls.
“Gee-whizz, Mossy. What was your first clue?” Bear growled back down at me, giving up on the owls and moving on to the next nest. “She left an hour ago and they still won’t come out.”
Philomena really was a sweetheart. The phoenix wouldn’t harm a hair or feather on the head of any animal in the garden. Some of the animals just couldn’t acknowledge that. Philomena was smart enough to know that the owls were afraid of her, but not quite bright enough to realize that constantly badgering them wasn’t going to earn their friendship.
“I’ll still never get over that. The rabbits and squirrels frolic around care-free while a fiery bird of prey circles overhead, it’s only the birds smart enough to know she shouldn’t be a threat that get bent out of shape when she’s here.” I chuckled a bit as the male screech owl poked his head out of the nest to see where Bear had gone. “Just go home, Bear. I’ll make sure they get fed. You can give their nest box a double thorough cleaning tomorrow morning.”
Bear swooped down from the nest boxes, undoubtedly ready to give me an earful about climbing my own flank up there to clean the boxes, but something stopped him. He bent down on one knee and bowed his head to someone behind me. Knowing what that meant I quickly whirled around and did the same.
“Rise, my little ponies.” Princess Luna’s regal voice floated warmly through the chilly evening air. How she and her guards could sneak up the way they did was still a mystery to me.
“Caretaker Bear Bones you are dismissed for the evening. My business is with Caretaker Mossy Hooves. Please give my best to your family.”
Bear rose to his hooves, gave me a see-you-later nod, and trotted off for the palace gates. He hadn’t managed to tell me to clean the nest boxes myself. I guess that would mean he would have to do it in the morning. What a tragedy.
I rose to my own hooves as well, nodding back to Bear even as Luna’s guards moved to create a perimeter around the aviary.
“Good evening, Princess.”
“And a good evening to you, Mossy Hooves.” Princess Luna trotted over to me and peered up at the nest box that Bear had been fussing over. The owls inside in turn peered back down at her. Upon seeing who it was they quickly squeezed their little bodies through the even smaller nest entrance and spiraled down to us. One perched atop the Princess’ back; the other awkwardly came to rest atop my head.
“You aren’t right in the head.” I whispered to the little owl, which only tilted his head side to side obliviously. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
The princess giggled and nuzzled the owl on her back affectionately. “So I have often heard said of many ponies in Canterlot.”
At that we both broke out in a small fit of laughter, spooking the owls back up to their nest. I almost thought I was going to get away without coughing, but a tickle in my throat caught me near the end.
Luna looked on, concerned, but chose to bring up another topic instead. “I suppose that you know why I am here unannounced, do you not?” Her tone was more serious than it had been before.
I hadn’t known before, but after hearing that I knew what she meant. “Already? It feels like it was just last week…”
“You know as well as I do it has been four weeks, Mossy, just as our agreement stated.” The slender alicorn chided, gesturing for me to walk with her. “Do not worry about the animals. I will have one of my guards stand in for you until we are finished.”
“Don’t try feeding anyone!” I called back to the guards as Luna nudged and guided me out of the aviary. “I won’t be blamed if you get bitten!”
I was left waiting in one of the palace’s many smaller studies while the princess proceeded on to the main throne room to retrieve her sister. During the transition period of twilight the palace was filled with both the solar and lunar guards. Outside the study door stood one of each, both looking mildly irritated to have been pulled away from their respective duties. I had never tried to leave the study before one of these meetings, but I had a pretty good impression of what they might try to do to me if I did.
Rather than give the guards anything to work with I simply tossed my hat and scarf onto the nearby armchair and warmed myself by the fire. I could handle the cold outside just fine, that didn’t necessarily mean I liked it. Surely I would start to feel better in general when spring finally came.
When the door finally opened again I quickly bowed my head at the arrival of both princesses. Celestia of course was first through the door, followed closely behind by her sister. The Princess of the Sun looked friendly enough this evening, but I could see the signs that she’d had a long day. She was always gracious during her day court but once you encroached into her personal time you were more likely to get sunburn than a tan.
“Rise, Mossy Hooves. I have dinner arrangements with an envoy of Griffin Nation tonight and I would prefer not to keep her waiting.”
The Griffins always had preferred Celestia. The sun princess seemed like she would have been more than happy to dump the diplomatic affair into her sister’s lap. By all rights Luna was the princess one should have had to speak to at that hour anyway.
“Princess.” I greeted her politely as I climbed to my hooves, looking past her rather than at her.
Celestia approached me, or cornered me would have been a more apt description. With my back to the fire she loomed over me, her horn aglow in regal golden light. She closed her eyes and began to wave her horn over my body. The familiar tingling invasive sensation rolled through me. I frowned and tried to ignore it.
Accepting the ‘offer’ to live in Canterlot had been a blessing and a curse. It was a lovely place and I was gainfully employed, but it was essentially a cage. We were far enough away from the Everfree Forest that we were deemed ‘not contagious’, but we were still required to undergo periodic testing for the influence of dark magic. This meant we were not exactly free to come and go from the city as we pleased. The old adage ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ seemed to ring true here.
After several minutes the princess retreated back to her sister and whispered something into her ear. “Very good, Mossy Hooves. I sense nothing of note. You are free to resume your duties. Though I would have you bring your colt to my day court in the morning to be checked as well.” She said to me finally.
I almost agreed without thinking, but luckily a thought was still fresh in my head. “Princess Celestia, could we please maybe put that off until the day after? Hearths Warming is coming up soon and Bookmark’s school is having festivities this week. I don’t want him to miss anything…”
The princess seemed to think for a moment, and then nodded her head in agreement. “It would be unfair to rob him of the day. Later in the week will be fine. Good night, Mossy Hooves.”
I was awash with relief. Despite her dislike of me she was still a fair and generous ruler. I couldn’t help but smile widely as I bowed again. “And a good night to you too, princesses.”
The sisters exchanged their goodbyes for the evening with a brief touching of horns, and then Celestia was gone. I moved to retrieve my hat and scarf, unaware that the princess of the night had not followed suit. She instead had taken a seat by the fire.
“How is little Bookmark doing?” Luna asked, eliciting a jump from me as she gazed into the fire, oblivious.
I decided to play it off like I had known she was there all along.
“He’s good… very excited about the festivities tomorrow. The apartment has been littered with construction paper, felt, and glue-sticks for days now.” I smiled and chuckled. “I wish I’d had half his enthusiasm for that stuff when I was his age.”
“That is good to hear. Does he still speak of his mother?”
My smile faded and I began to poke at my scarf on the chair with my hoof. “Not as often. Starting school really helped that. Having something to focus his mind on really was the best thing for him. He has stopped asking when she is going to come home though and I… I really don’t know how to feel about that…”
The princess saw the frown begin to creep across my face and waved for me to take a seat by the fire with her. “So long as he had not forgotten about her. You must remember, we do not know the extent to which the time in the Dark Place affected him. It is truly miraculous that he has adjusted as well as he has. Your influence in his life has been invaluable.”
I had my doubts about that. The colt spent his nights alone and his afternoons with a nanny thanks to my night time work schedule. I was always home in time to be there when he woke up in the morning, but that was one of the few times of the day we got to spend together. I did my best to make my days off revolve around him, but under normal circumstances I would probably have been what most ponies would call a bad parent.
“Bookmark is very precocious. I think he would have done well wherever he ended up.” I said glumly, disregarding my scarf and trotting back to the fire. “If he follows in his mother’s interests I’m hardly the right pony to cultivate it. I worry I’m doing him more harm than good.”
Luna gave me a sharp look of disapproval. “When you speak that way you do more harm than good to both yourself and Bookmark, Mossy. I have seen his dreams, he plays, he is happy. When the time comes for him to start thinking of his future I believe you will do what is right for him.”
Truthfully I had given more than a little consideration to sending in an application on his behalf to Princess Celestia’s school. He had spoken highly of it from time to time when a friend or classmate was admitted, and I knew the environment there would probably be healthier for him. I would never force him to go, but just giving him more options made me feel a little better.
“I know I shouldn’t talk like that… it’s just the season, y’know? Everypony gets a little blue in the winter.”
The princess leaned away from me slightly and raised an eyebrow playfully. “The moon shares many traits with Equestria in the winter time. They are both cold and seemingly lifeless. As you may recall I once spent an inordinate amount of time of the moon. I do think you can handle several months of Canterlot winter.”
Luna had quite a way of putting things into perspective and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. This time I thankfully made it through without recreating my impression of a pack-a-day smoker. “I can handle it just fine, doesn’t necessarily mean I have to enjoy it! No offense, princess, but you have wings. When it snows you can fly above it. We earth ponies have to slog through those snow drifts. If it’s too deep precious cargo tends to drag.”
Oh horse apples, did I really just make a dirty joke to the princess?
I bit my tongue. The princess just looked at me quizzically for a moment.
“Why would you not just put your belongings on a sled if they are so precious?”
I barely managed to maintain my composure. Princess Luna had lived many lifetimes longer than me yet sometimes she still displayed a remarkable naivety to certain things. Whether that was a willful decision on her part of just the result of a different rate of maturity from a long lived individual was beyond me.
“That is good advice, I will remember it. Thank you, princess.”
Princess Luna smiled a little, knowing smile and patted me on the shoulder with her fore-hoof. Maybe I was the naïve one here.
“So how are you, Mossy? I have not seen any of your dreams in quite some time.” The princess mercifully changed the subject.
The sleep aides I had been taking were probably to blame for my lack of dreams, but I couldn’t tell her that. She of all ponies knew the effects insomnia could have on the mind, and if she worried about me she would undoubtedly worry about Bookmark as well. It was disconcerting enough to know she had attempted to dream walk with me during the daylight hours when she was technically not in a position of power to do so.
“I’ve been pretty good myself. Been keeping busy down in the gardens like usual; sleeping like a log when I get home in the morning. Been too exhausted to even dream I guess.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Hopefully the question had just been a formality and she wouldn’t delve any deeper.
“You are still comfortable with your nocturnal work schedule, are you not? If it has become too much I can perhaps find somepony to assist you in finding something better.”
Before Bookmark and I had arrived in Canterlot, Bear Bones had been the only caretaker for the garden’s wildlife. He had lived on the castle grounds and worked both the day and night shifts. I knew it was way beyond coincidence to believe the decision to divide the duties between two ponies just happened to be made right before I started looking for work. I had jumped through many hoops to get the job, but not nearly as many as someone with my reputation should have had to. I suspected Princess Luna might have had a hoof in the matter and I was not about to snub her generosity.
Besides that I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to sleep at night again anyway. There weren’t many other night jobs that paid well enough to allow a single parent to live as comfortably as I did.
“I wouldn’t trade it for the world, Princess. Besides, what would the animals do if I just abandoned them?”
The princess seemed satisfied that my answer was genuine this time. She smiled and seemed to consider for a moment what my four-pawed partners in crime might do if left to their own devices.
“I imagine they might be the first creatures my sister would actually banish to the moon.”
We both had a good laugh again. The laughter and the warmth of the fire put me at ease more so than I had been all night. The princesses were ponies just like the rest of us, but despite what we had been through together in Ponyville I still found it difficult to engage Luna in casual conversation. Even though she was always the instigator it somehow felt inappropriate for me to let my guard down.
“What about you, Princess Luna, how are you doing these days?”
Luna wiggled on her haunches a bit and closed her eyes thoughtfully. She seemed pleased that I had bothered to ask.
“Oh I have been well, Mossy. I shan’t bore you with any kingdom politics this time, but I too have been ‘keeping busy’. My sister and I have been working very hard on plans for a banquet coming up tomorrow.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Such was life in Canterlot. A pony couldn’t go a week without hearing about a festival, gala, or ball that the royals were putting on. Invitation only was the name of the game around here.
“What plans have you for the Hearths Warming season, Mossy Hooves?”
I narrowed my brow and sucked in my lower lip mock-thoughtfully.
“Well I promised Bookmark I would spend the morning of Hearths Warming with him before he goes to his grandparents, but other than that it’ll be sleep during the day and work at night as usual. I never really celebrated the day before; no reason to start now.”
Seemingly frustrated by the fact that I insisted on standing, the Princess reached out with one slender fore hoof and shoved my flank down until I took a seat. It almost seemed unfair that alicorns were gifted with physical strength alongside their magical prowess.
“I am certain Bear Bones would have told you this had I not interrupted you earlier, but there is a tradition tomorrow among the castle staff who are not otherwise celebrating with their special somepony. There exists a seldom used wine cellar beneath the east wing of the castle that is still stocked and just the right size for throwing parties.”
I smirked and raised an eyebrow. Leave it to the hired help to find a way to party on the royal’s dime.
“They believe themselves to be quite secretive about it, so of course my sister and I have known for many years. It hurts nopony, so we allow it to slip beneath our notice, as it were.”
A night of free drinking did sound appealing to me.
“If Bear was going to say anything about a party I’m sure he would have done it ages ago. He probably didn’t tell me because he knew I’d be on duty and didn’t want me to feel left out.“ Also because he didn’t want the shame of me drinking him under the table, but the princess didn’t need to hear that.
“Surely it does not take you all night to see the diurnal animals off to bed and feed the nocturnal ones?”
There was more to my job than that, but she had a point. That still didn’t matter though. In a manner of speaking she was my boss. Even though she was the one telling me about the party, a wise pony wouldn’t just jump at the chance to tell the boss he was planning to shirk his duties. It was probably just the day staff that attended this party anyway. Just because Luna seemed to think it was alright didn’t mean any of the other royals wouldn’t have harsh words for any member of the night staff brushing off their chores.
Princess Luna could see the gears working in my head. She smiled gently and leaned in close to me to whisper.
“The majority of my night guards will be in the immediate vicinity of the banquet, where might I add, all of the royal family will be. Those who remain will most certainly be at this ‘underground shindig’, as the foals say.”
I winced involuntarily at the phrase. I was fairly certain that ‘underground shindig’ was not in any foal’s current vernacular, but I knew what she was getting at.
She really was just encouraging me to take an evening for myself. Something I had been reluctant to do, at least completely, for months now. The company of the other staff members would keep me from me distracted enough to prevent me from falling into old habit.
“Maybe I’ll drop in just to say hello then…” I relented, unsure if I really meant it or not.
Author's Note
Welcome to the sequel, yo.
The next day came and went without incident. I left for work a little earlier than usual and put a rush on my usual feeding and cleaning routine. Bear would be cross to find that I hadn’t prepared any animal meals for the next day shift, but he could just get over it.
Even though I was a full-time employee of Canterlot I still didn’t know all the ins and outs of the castle itself. My duties were primarily in the gardens on the south side of the castle, so the east wing was foreign territory to me. It wasn’t until I noticed one of the housekeeping ponies ducking shadily into a nondescript door at the end of the corridor that I discerned the location of the wine cellar.
I knocked a hoof against the door as well and was greeted by the sight of an eye peeking through the keyhole.
“This room is being cleaned. What’s your business here?”
I chuckled slightly and fished my identification coin out of my vest pocket. I lowered it toward the keyhole before I spoke.
“I’m Mossy Hooves, the night garden caretaker.”
Apparently he recognized me too, as the tone of suspicion in his voice faded quickly as he greeted me.
“Sorry about that. Can’t be too careful, you know.” We shook hooves pleasantly. “Glad to see ol’ Bear Bones didn’t deter you from coming. Anyway, the tapped casks are at the rear of the cellar. Enjoy!”
The party was the kind of subdued chaos you would expect to find behind the scenes at any workplace full of high stress situations. Raucous voices and music echoed throughout the cellar, but never loudly enough to carry up the staircase to the corridors above.
Across the dark expanse of the cellar eyes rose to meet me. Guardsponies and housekeepers alike were gathered around folding card tables and whatever other surfaces they could find to rest a drink upon. After assessing me and recognizing me as one of the help they continued on with their previous conversations unperturbed.
Bear Bones was essentially the only other pony employed here that I knew well and I didn’t see him here, so I immediately headed to the back where the drinks were. I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. The only real parties I had been to in my life were for various milestones in the filming of Equestrian Wilderness. Everyone at those events already knew of me, so I had no need to be gregarious.
Several cask rows back from the seating area several ponies I recognized from the housekeeping staff had tapped one of the cider casks and were pouring drinks at a makeshift bar. They had procured quite a large pile of wooden tankards in which to serve the cider. I didn’t know how many tankards the castle had in its kitchen inventory, but anypony would have noticed that many missing.
It was no wonder the princesses knew of the party.
Never one to fool around with cider involved I downed three quarters of my first tankard and immediately refilled it before heading off to find somewhere to sit. With my stomach already empty from my meager supper I felt the effect of the alcohol fairly quickly.
With my tankard precariously between my teeth I crossed the cellar between several of the rows of casks. I was nearly to a particularly comfortable looking stack of crates when suddenly the music cut out.
“Well buck me sideways, is that Mossy Hooves I spy?”
The voice over the speakers nearly made me jump out of my skin, and more importantly almost made me drop my cider. I hadn’t realized there was anyone actually behind the music, let alone who knew my name.
“You keep your flank right there, I’m coming down.”
Only by the sound of annoyed ponies complaining as somepony shoved past them did I identify a makeshift DJ table several rows back in the cellar. I quickly began searching my memory for anyone I knew at the castle who had any kind of musical inclination.
It was a short list; fortunately it didn’t matter.
“No bucking way. Vinyl Scratch?”
Even in the dimly lit cellar the purple shades pushing through the crowd were unmistakable. How she navigated through the dark in them was truly a mystery, but I was too thrilled to see her to worry about it.
“Ah, no no. It’s DJ Pon3 while I’m working, stallion.” She chided, barely giving me a chance to put my drink down before she wrapped me in a bone crushing hug. “What the buck are you doing in Canterlot, much less a terrible wanna-be rave at the castle?”
I couldn’t help but lose myself laughing for a moment at her fairly apt description of the party.
“I’ve been living here for months now. What are you doing DJing a terrible wanna-be rave at Canterlot castle?” I shot back. “Why aren’t you back in Ponyville hounding some poor unsuspecting fool on your show?”
The DJ scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes.
“You know what? Nopony is dancing to anything I’ve been spinning tonight anyway, I’m going to go set a playlist and we can talk. I think we have a lot of catching up to do.”
Fifteen minutes later Vinyl Scratch and I were stowed away at a small folding card table near the far side of the cider cellar, though still within line of sight of the turntable. It would have been against the castle employee code of conduct for anyone to hire the DJ for an unsanctioned party, therefore they had offered to pay her in free drinks from the casks and two bottles of high quality tequila.
The latter of which she had elected to crack open already.
I tried to refuse the unicorn’s offer to partake in the foul golden liquor, but she struck to the heart of the matter by questioning my stallionhood. I couldn’t let her show me up in front of my coworkers; even if it meant dealing with the inevitable killer hangover.
“You sure you can hang?” The mare dared to ask after the first three shots went down. “I mean, there is more than a hoof-full of the royal guard in here. I can have them escort you home if you don’t think you can keep up.”
“Mare please!” I shot back, snatching the bottle away from her to set up the next round of shots. “I’m one third Scotspony on my father’s side. I’ve only met a few earth ponies who could out-drink me, let alone a unicorn.”
She looked irritated by my insinuation.
“But at least we can both agree that we can both out-drink any pegasus in the castle, am I right?”
“Hey!”
A pegasus guard at a nearby table shot us a dirty look which only served to send us both into a bout of uncontrollable laughter. By the time we both settled down Vinyl Scratch looked like she had something on her mind.
"So how come you never responded to any of my letters after the last time we spoke at the hospital?" Her tone of voice sharply contrasted the playful attitude she'd been sporting before.
I paused for a moment; my alcohol addled mind trying to process her question with the seriousness she had asked it.
"Vinyl, I haven't heard a word from you for months." I licked my lips and downed the shot I had set for myself. "I kinda figured you wouldn't know I had wound up here, so I wrote you so you'd at least have my new address if you felt so inclined to stay in contact."
Her accusation stung me slightly and brought up some bitter feelings of my own. In the days after Nightmare Moon was destroyed for the second time I discovered that those ponies that had aligned themselves with me had not fallen victim to the memory re-write that the rest of Equestria had suffered as far as my life was concerned. Vinyl Scratch and Deputy Ironbars knew of my true past when no one else did.
When Vinyl had not answered my letters I assumed she had lost her interest in me. I was no longer associated with Atten Burro in this timeline and therefore no longer a topic of interest to be used in her radio show.
The DJ looked stymied for a moment, then followed my lead and took the shot I had set up for her. She cringed briefly as the potent liquor burned her throat, and then slammed the shot glass back down on the table in front of me.
"I don't know what to say, Mossy. I never got your letters... I think I know why though. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you really didn't get mine too, despite the fact that the mailmare in Ponyville assured me letters addressed to your house there were being forwarded to your new home."
The alcohol in my system quickly turned the bitterness I was feeling into guilt. We had both been mad at each other for the same reason when somehow neither of us was at fault.
I pressed my hooves against my face and dragged them around, mumbling incoherently before settling on the idea of pouring myself yet another drink. Before I could do so the DJ snatched the bottle from my reach with her magic.
"Speak your mind. Stallion up and just say your piece. Don't dawdle around like a filly or I'm just gonna go back up to the turntable."
Groaning loudly I clapped my forehooves together and forced myself to find my drunken resolve.
"This is going to sound dumb as Tartarus, but you are basically my only tie to my old life right now. I wouldn't risk that over something as trivial as a letter." I placed a hoof on top of the liquor bottle, not to take it back from her, but to just place it back on the table. "I never told you the details of what really happened that night in the Everfree. If I do that now will it make up for this crap?"
I don’t know how many shots or hours passed as the party progressed, but slowly and surely I spilled my guts to Vinyl Scratch. In my own drunken way I regaled to her the story of my fight with the incarnation of Nightmare Moon, and how I had been forced to make the decision to leave Golden Prose behind. Every minute detail from the point where I had left her behind at the radio station.
Vinyl Scratch for the most part sat in silence and listened, her expression inscrutable behind her shades. I had expected her to hound me with questions as if this was the interview I'd promised her long ago. Instead she waited patiently I was finished.
As if to wash the words from my palette I broke eye contact from the mare and took a swig of my cider. When I lowered my mug the expression on Vinyl's face had completely changed. A massive grin the likes of which I hadn’t seen for hours had appeared. It was a little disconcerting considering the less than pleasant story I'd just told.
"You're a big bucking hero, you know that?" She said, delighted in a drunken haze. "You're a big bucking hero and nopony has the faintest idea."
I cocked my head to the side, unsure if maybe I was missing something obvious about her statement. She had clearly missed the point I'd made about having no free will for my so-called heroics.
"When I first met you I couldn’t decide if you were a good stallion or just a giant self-centered ass. I went with my gut and decided on the former. I'm glad to see I haven’t lost my touch."
I face-hooved internally. Even in my drunken state I should have known better than to spill my guts and have her understand it, let alone take it seriously.
"Oh okay, well as long as your internal compass still points the right direction. That’s the only thing that matters here." I rambled, clumsily reaching out for the tequila bottle.
In a flash the DJ's hoof was on mine. She let it linger softly for longer than may have been appropriate before letting me take the bottle. "Relax, hero." She smiled coyly. "There isn’t a mare here that wouldn’t be impressed by a story like that."
I felt my face flush and I tried to disguise it by taking another swig from the bottle.
Another hour or so passed and the party began to wind down. All but a hoof-full of ponies remained after the kitchen staff departed to return the borrowed tankards, effectively ending the drinking. Vinyl and I had mercifully switched to lighter topics of discussion; mostly social commentary on the upper class of Canterlot.
I was in the middle of a tirade about the owner of a local coffee shop when the DJ abruptly cut in.
"Get your flank in gear, hero. You're coming home with me tonight." She stated plainly with a wink, setting off towards her turntable in an unsteady gait.
I blinked several times as the words processed in my mind. Before I even realized what I was doing I was on my hooves and fast after the blue-maned mare. I would never be drunk enough to miss a come on like that.
"Pretty damned forward of you, eh?" I grinned smugly as I stood beside the mare while she packed her equipment into a pair of saddlebags. "Didn’t realize you missed me that much."
The DJ let out an uncharacteristically feminine giggle and paused just long enough to run a hoof flirtatiously under my chin.
"Don’t get your hopes up, stallion. I didn't make a single bit tonight and I'm not going to pay for another carriage to haul my stuff home when I’ve got you to help me carry it instead."
My drunken ego popped like a stuck balloon. The pegasus guard I'd laughed at earlier was within earshot and snickered intentionally loudly enough for me to hear him. I shot him a dirty look before unceremoniously slinging one of the saddlebags onto my back.
Fifteen minutes later Vinyl Scratch had deposited her guest identification coin with an on-duty guard and the two of us emerged onto the streets of Canterlot. We trotted toward a small area in the western part of the city colloquially known as the Griffin District. I had been there several times in my old life to eat at some of the city's higher end restaurants, but I had not been back there since the Ponyville incident.
"Where are we going anyway?" I asked finally. I'd been expecting to help her to either the train station or a hotel, neither of which were in this direction.
The mare kept her pace without looking back at me as she spoke. "My place. Where else?" She replied as if I'd just asked something ridiculously obvious.
I was still coherent enough to know that was a line of questioning I should have continued, but the walk had brought me to the point in my intoxication where I just wanted to find the first available place to fall asleep. Vinyl Scratch had a place in Canterlot, and that was good enough for me at the moment.
Eventually we came to a small strip of townhouses nestled between two shop fronts. They seemed relatively nice, but between the darkness and the fallen snow it was hard to tell. Vinyl waved me towards the house in the center and I trotted quickly to her side as she stopped to unlock the front door.
The interior of the house was pitch black. I took just a few steps inside before stopping, waiting for the mare to hit the lights. Instead the door slammed shut behind me, casting me into utter darkness. I heard the DJ's saddlebags hit the hardwood floor and I turned to say something.
It was not to be.
Before I could get a syllable out a pair of lips clumsily mashed into mine in an intense and barely accurate kiss. Though slightly taken aback, I was alcohol fueled enough to return the kiss until the mare pulled away.
In the dark I could hear her exhale loudly as if she'd been holding her breath before she spoke.
"I... have been waiting to do that since we left that bucking party."
My eyes finally began to adjust to the dark and I could see that she had removed her trademark shades for the first time tonight. I also watched in delight as she turned and tripped directly over the saddlebags she had cast aside only seconds ago. All the poise she had exhibited throughout the evening evaporated in an instant as she landed in a pile on the floor of her own home.
"Easy there, DJ Pon3." I chuckled playfully, ditching my own saddlebags and wobbling over to the fallen mare. "Gotta keep those bifocals on or who knows what you'll end up kissing next."
Vinyl rolled onto her back and swung a hoof blindly through the air where she must have imagined my face to be. "It's Vinyl Scratch to you right now, mister. Now help a mare up."
Sidestepping her saddlebags I leaned down to the mare, but rather than giving her the helping hoof she wanted I pressed my lips against hers for a more proper kiss. She gasped slightly at first, her eyes having not adjusted to the dark as quickly as mine, but after the initial start she leaned upward in reciprocation.
“Bastard…” She whispered quietly with a smile as I finally helped her back to her hooves.
“Guilty as charged.”
The room finally illuminated as Vinyl Scratch magically switched on the overhead light fixture. I found myself in the narrow entryway of a home that oozed antiquated charm much in the way my own did. As we trotted further into the house I could see that she had similarly been unsuccessfully at disguising the building’s age by filling it with modern furnishings.
Everything seemed much cleaner than I remembered Vinyl’s radio station being. The stark contrast registered ever so briefly in my intoxicated mind and made me wonder why she was living here.
Before I could dwell on it a hoof slapped me gently in the ribs.
“Be a gentlecolt and stash my bags in the living room.” The mare purred, trotting past me. “Then come find me.”
With a quick wink over her shoulder she disappeared down the hallway to where I presumed her bedroom to be.
Like a bat out of Tartarus I rushed back to the front door, snatched the saddlebags straps in my teeth, and dragged them to the living room. Momentarily oblivious to the possible delicate nature of their contents I roughly shoved them under the coffee table.
My task accomplished, I quickly followed the path the mare had taken, pausing only long enough to do a quick sniff-test of my own breath. It was, of course, unpleasant from all the alcohol I’d consumed. The mare hadn’t minded so far tonight, so I hoped she wouldn’t suddenly notice now.
The only open door in the hallway led to a room with the lights off. The hallway had been dimly lit just enough by the ambient light of the living room to rob my eyes of their adjustment to the dark. It would have been enough to give me cause for hesitation if not for the alcohol and hormones.
I slowly crept into the room, the transition from hardwood to carpet masking my arrival.
“Vinyl?” I spoke up somewhat tentatively.
There was no reply.
I stayed where I was several steps into the room, waiting for my eyes to adjust. A bed and several dressers slowly formed out of blobs in the darkness. Then came a sight that I couldn’t help but smirk at. Records. Stacks of them. They were everywhere, just like first time I’d seen her room in Ponyville.
Emboldened by the familiarity I trotted further into the room and spied the mare in question on the bed. She was sprawled the wrong way across the bed in a way less sexy than I’d initially envisioned.
With a sly smile on my face I crept around to where her face nearly hung from the side of the bed. If she noticed my approach she didn’t show it. Her eyes were closed and her breath was steady even as I held my face a hairs breadth from hers.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type to play asleep and vulnerable…” I whispered into her ear, grazing my lips against it gently.
Her ear twitched slightly at the touch, but she gave no response. She was either waiting for something else or she genuinely was asleep. Given the short time we’d been apart I wagered on the former.
I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, waiting for some kind of response. Unfortunately none came. She really was asleep.
My face scrunched up in confusion as I sat back on my haunches. From the looks of it she had flopped down on the bed to get something out of the bedside table, closed her eyes for a moment, and promptly passed out.
“Story of my life…” I whispered under my breath, now more concerned with not waking her and possibly incurring her wrath. “Sleep tight, Vinyl.”
As gently as I could manage I tugged the top blanket free from the bottom of the bed and tucked it up over the mare. She wiggled slightly but didn’t wake.
After several minutes of unmotivated wandering around the living room I managed to find a small throw blanket and the light switch. I cast the room back into darkness and flopped unceremoniously on the couch. Clumsily I fumbled for one of the throw pillows and smashed my face into it.
Like the DJ I was out before I could even get comfortable.
Author's Note
Yes I know this story isn't great so far. Yes I also know I am terrible at writing even vaguely sexytiems.
