I sighed. I hadn't eaten since the Breach started, so I went to SPP-294, a pony-shaped coffee machine-type thing. I looked at the keyboard and typed "Milkshake." I grabbed my milkshake and sat down to drink it when I saw the stalker again. I sat completely still and watched as he...got a beer. Didn't expect that. I sighed in relief and drank my milkshake, not caring whether or not it was dangerous. Afterwards, I began walking again.
After a while, I had a weird feeling near my flank, like something was inside, ready to come out. I then realized I had to take a dump. I sighed and went to the restroom, ignoring the sign that said "DANGER: CAREFULLY EXAMINE TOILET BEFORE USING."
I sat down on a random toilet and started to poop when I heard an evIl laugh. I looked down and saw a face in the toilet. I knew this was an SPP of some sort, but which one?
"I am the Flank Ghost," the face said, "and I will eat your flank." Oh. 789-J. That made sense. I shrugged and continued pooping, forgetting what made this SPP so dangerous.
After a while of pooping, I felt something on my flank. I screamed. 789-J got me!! I tried to twerk it off, but twerking didn't solve anything. In fact, it only made it worse. The lesson I learned there is don't twerk while something's eating your flank. I suddenly remembered how to get rid of this guy and reached for the toilet paper. I proceeded to wipe the Flank Ghost off of my posterior and threw him back into the toilet.
It had been five hours since I had almost lost my flank to a ghost. The hallways seemed endless, and I thought I'd never escape. I sighed and saw a peculiar containment chamber. When I looked inside, all I could see was darkness. I cautiously turned on the light, and what I saw surprised me.
I saw what looked like a strange grey, bald, genderless toy pony, sitting in a chair, looking down. I looked closely, and the toy looked up, staring at me with it's completely blue eyes. I screamed. What the f[potatoes]k?! I cautiously entered. The small pony was a little over a foot tall, the size of a newborn foal. It wasn't wearing a uniform, so it couldn't be a Class-F. I poked it gently. The pony looked up at me.
"What are you?" I asked.
The pony was silent. "Call me Ariel," it finally said.
Author's Note
So, from now on, I've decided to give you hints as to who the mane character is. Hint 1: She's a filly.
This is the first time I've used an SCP that was only on the wiki (I think). The actual SCP is closer to two feet than one, but I decided to change it so it fit in the MLP universe. All other facts, except its shape, are accurate.
Episode 1: We had ONE JOB, guys!
Foal. That's what the "F" in "Class-F Personnel" stood for. They were all foals who were unwanted by their parents, but were born anyway, because abortion doesn't exist in Equestria. Let me rephrase that: we were all unwanted foals. I had gone five years without a name other than "F-1500." That's all I was, all I am, and all I ever will be: a number. After all, we are the expendable members of the Foundation. What Foundation, you ask? A Foundation that I shouldn't be telling you about. A Foundation that very few ponies knew existed. A Foundation dedicated to the safety of Equestria. The SPP Foundation.
My story started on a normal morning. I, along with two other Class-F, had been chosen to go to a chamber. Why? I'm not sure. They never told us. As usual. I sighed. The guards led us to a large chamber. A pale pony with a completely black flank stood in the corner, just staring.
"Do not look away from SPP-173," said a voice. So, this is what was here. I would never have guessed we would be forced to appreciate art, especially a sculpture with such a large flank, it had evidently become its own organism and caught the Black Death. I chuckled.
"Do not laugh at or taunt SPP-173," the announcer warned. I sighed.
Suddenly, the lights went out. When they came back on, one of the Class-F was dead, SPP-173 standing over her body. I ran out of the chamber as fast as I could, then the lights flickered again, revealing that SPP-173 had killed the other Class-F. I prepared myself to die when the lights went out again, but I was spared. The guards, however, weren't so lucky.
"We are experiencing a Containment Breach of Euclid and Keter levels," said a female announcer. "Not Safe, though. Those guys don't do crap. Lazy f[SPARTA]ks." I ran away from the chamber, panicking. Unfortunately, SPP-173 was right behind me. No matter where I went, there he was, opening doors, going through vents, sometimes even offering to play Monopoly. I ran, but I knew it was futile. There was just no escaping "The Sculpture."
I reached a dead end. SPP-173 was right behind me. I glanced to the left and saw a hand mirror and a roll of duct tape. Not looking away from SPP-173, I grabbed the items and taped the hand mirror to the wall, hoping it was at the creature's eye level. I ran around the deadly monster, then looked back. It had not moved. My plan had worked! SPP-173 couldn't move if it was being observed, so all I had to do was make it observe itself! I brohoofed myself and ran off, smiling.
I found myself in a round, maze-like hallway. Not much here. Just a piece of paper someone had left on the ground. I picked it up and read it. I gulped. SPP-049 seemed pretty powerful. I carefully navigated the maze, but unfortunately, I wasn't careful enough, and I saw a large, rectangular hole in the wall. I went through it and came face-to-face with the deadly, the terrifying, the insert horror-movie-esque adjective here, SPP-049.
"I sense the disease in you," he said. His voice sounded echo-y, like a Changeling's, only quieter, like a loud whisper. "Do not worry; I am the cure." I ran.
"Stop resisting," it said, slightly irritated. "I'm trying to cure you!"
"Shut up!" I shouted. "I've been vaccinated!"
"No you haven't!"
"How do you know?!"
"I've lived here longer than you, dumbflank! The Foundation doesn't do that to Class-F!"
"Oh, yeah."
"Just let me cure you!"
"No!"
"Too bad!" It lunged at me. I dodged successfully, causing it to fall into some barrels. I smirked, knowing what was in them.
The barrels opened, and many needles stabbed into SPP-049. "What is this?!" it shouted.
"Concentrated pestilence," I said, "also known as The Plague."
SPP-049 screamed as it slowly died of hypocrisy. I blinked, then resumed my search for a way out.
I found myself staring at a screen. A screen showing something. Something that could potentially kill me. Something that would stop at nothing to make me dead. Specifically, SPP-096. SPP-096 didn't like when ponies looked at its face, even in a photograph. Yay Keter!
I wandered into its cell. I walked around, but accidentally stared at its face. It stood up slowly, covering its face and screaming. I ran out, making sure to get as much of a head start as possible before it decided to chase me. I sat in SPP-049's old chamber, scared. I was, after all, only 5 years old! I sighed and thought about my short, meaningless life. Why didn't my parents want me? What did I ever do to them? I teared up. I was go into die, and nopony would care.
That's when I heard shrieking. I prepared for my seemingly inevitable death when suddenly SPP-096 tripped over SPP-049's body. I picked up a chair and beat 096 to death. The Foundation taught me not only the stuff other foals need to know, but also how to react in the event of a Containment Breach. Apparently, chairs were always the answer. Also chainsaw cannons, if available. I ran away, not caring what I bumped into.
I then proceeded to bump into something. Something very dangerous. Something that would ruin my life. That thing was a rusty cowbell. I had knocked it over. I looked at it and picked it up. I shook it, then flinched when it rung. Suddenly, I saw a tall, dark pony floating in front of me. It vanished instantly. I sighed. This was total bulls[YOUR FACE]t. I couldn't wait to get out.
I saw that pony every once in a while. It was stalking me, all right. Like Slendermane, but not as well-dressed. I sighed. This was going to take forever.