The Dentist's (not laughing) Gasby LauzacChaptersThe Dentist's (not laughing) GasChapter 2Chapter 3The Dentist's (not laughing) GasColgate forced the brush in and out of her mouth, watching her reflection in the mirror with half-closed eyes. It was a morning like any other. In an hour, she would be meeting with patients and cleaning teeth as usual. She was a very meticulous mare; her timing was punctual, her plans always well thought out, and in particular her hygiene was impeccable. She always prided herself on how clean and tidy she was; certainly she wasn't snooty about it, but it was well known that the bicolored mare's teeth shone like the sun. Naturally, dentistry was her calling. She swished the foamy mixture of saliva and toothpaste in her mouth, sleepily noting the taste. She had recently purchased a new brand of toothpaste, an abnormal deviation from her typical Colgate (her own secret recipe of tooth-cleaning chemicals, not-so-creatively named after herself). Within the hour, she was out the door and headed to work. Colgate went over her patient charts and chatted with her coworkers as she typically did, but she noticed that there was a strange pressure in her abdomen. It reminded her of being full after a large meal. The feeling was not too uncomfortable, however, so she accredited it to the extra helping of hay fries she enjoyed for dinner last night. With her morning brushing done, she headed off to work. ... At 9:30, her first appointment began. When she walked into the room, a meek-looking yellow filly made eye contact with her before averting her gaze to Colgate's shoes. "Good morning, Fluttershy!" the dentist greeted warmly, well aware of the identity of her first patient of the day. "Hello Doctor," Fluttershy responded, her voice nearly a whisper. Colgate smiled. "Just a routine cleaning today, I believe," she stated. "Any questions?" Fluttershy paused before answering "No." Colgate directed Fluttershy to lie down and positioned the seat correctly, adjusting the lighting and preparing the tools. The pressure in Colgate's belly had grown by now. As she bent down to begin working on her patient's teeth, she winced, a sharp pain radiating from her gut. The young mare followed typical procedure, prodding at the shy filly's gums and scraping between the teeth. Fluttershy was always very good with her dental health, she mentally noted. Suddenly, a low groan sounded out. Colgate felt a deep vibration in her gut accompany the noise. Fluttershy heard it too, and looked up at Colgate. The dentist pony smiled, as if inviting Fluttershy to laugh. She let out a giggle through the tools in her mouth and Colgate joined in. "Sorry, I must be hungry," she suggested, although she knew that wasn't the case. It felt like a balloon had been inflated in her guts. Any movement and she could feel her innards shift around this mass, like a stone that rested deep in the center of her intestines. Having to bend over frequently to tend to Fluttershy's mouth was certainly not helping the issue any. The minty filly would excuse herself as soon as the checkup was done. She was finishing prodding at the last few of Fluttershy's teeth, noticing that she missed a spot. As she bent down to reach, she farted. It was not particularly long; only a second or two did it last. It sounded out like a broken trumpet, loud and brash and tapering off into a high note at the end. Colgate looked up, her eyes wide. Surprisingly, only a few of her colleagues seemed to notice, staring at her with a mix of furrowed brows and stifled grins. Fluttershy was visibly blushing, but otherwise did not react. Colgate felt the blood rush up to her own cheeks. Instantly, shame flooded in like a cold torrent of water. She felt frozen in place, the few eyes watching her freezing her muscles. Oh god, a voice in her head whispered. Did I really just do that? Quickly recovering, Colgate went back to work on finishing Fluttershy's cleaning. The aroma of her gaseous expulsion was certainly noticeable. The stench tickled her nose through her medical mask. The scent of digested hay and other vegetables sourly mixed in with a hint of... mint, surprisingly. Thankfully, the smell seemed to have faded a few sniffs later. Still feeling a bit mortified, Colgate stepped back and allowed Fluttershy to stand up. "Thanks for coming in, you did well," Colgate began saying. "Just make sure to get the back teeth when you floss, okay?" "Sure thing, Doctor! Thanks," Fluttershy said, her voice sweet and appreciative. She waved to Colgate as she left the room. The dentist sighed. She still felt butterflies (in addition to the bubble of gas) in her stomach. She prayed that no one would talk about her... outburst. It made her feel dirty and unprofessional. "Accidents happen, I suppose," she quietly muttered to herself, repositioning the chair and getting a sterile set of tools. "Although I don't feel any relief..." Colgate checked the clock and her charts. She had a good twenty or so minutes before her next appointment. As soon as she was done tidying up her station, she headed to the mares' room. Locking the door behind her, she let out a sigh of relief. She would get it all out in here and be done with it. She tugged her pants down her legs, the bright blue scrubs falling to the floor. Wiggling her undergarments down her thighs, she took a seat on the toilet. Almost instantly, the force that was pressing against her tailhole was released. A several-second long fart, just as noisy as before, sounded out. The crude noise echoed off of the porcelain bowl, once again making the normally clean mare blush. The fart made ripples in the water that lapped up against the sides of the bowl. She strained and farted again, this one much the same as the previous one, only louder. Embarrassed, Colgate reached her arm out and turned on the faucet to mask the noise of her flatulent episode. She tried a third time, the smell of her colon rising up to meet her nostrils. The stink was growing more pungent. It wasn't stomach-turningly rancid, but it would definitely flare a few more nostrils than the bomb she dropped near Fluttershy would. Frustrated, Colgate checked her watch. Over ten minutes had passed already, and all she accomplished is fouling the air in the restroom. She still felt nauseously full, but she had no choice. She stood up, redressed herself, and went back out into the hallway. She got an odd glance or two as she proceeded down the corridor, but she made no indication that they bothered her. On the inside, she still felt the wound of shame festering. When she returned to her chair, her next patient was already sitting; Lyra Heartstrings. "Oh, hey Colgate!" Lyra said, grinning and waving at the doctor. Lyra and Colgate were acquaintences. Certainly not the best of friends, but the two had crossed paths more times than strangers would. "Hello, Lyra," Colgate greeted cordially. "Today you're having a routine checkup and a flouride treatment, right?" " You're the dentist!" replied the harpist, reclining in the dentist's chair and opening her mouth wide. "Eager to get this over with?" mused Colgate, an entertained smile on her face. Colgate went to work on Lyra's mouth, although there was little work to be done. Surprisingly, the eccentric musician took very good care of her oral hygiene. As Colgate worked, she felt the gas inside of her churn and work its way around her insides, a sudden pressure building inside of her rear. The blue-coated filly gritted her teeth; she was not going to mess up again, she promised herself. She clenched and tightened, but the gas kept building up like a river about to pour over a dam. It was hopeless though. She bent over her patient an inch too far, and the nightmare ripped through her buttcheeks. Starting off low and bassy before varying in pitch, her flatulence was not unlike a wind instrument being played by a novice. She felt the gas rip through her plot and brush against her coat and tail. The few seconds this burst lasted felt like minutes as each head in the room turned to stare. The fart died down into an airy hiss before silence filled the void. Lyra was the first one to respond. "Geez, Colgate," she laughed. "I had no idea you could fart like a farm animal." The toothpaste-maned mare had half the mind to lunge at Lyra's throat. "S-shut up!" she stuttered out. "It..." "Wasn't you?" finished Lyra. By now, those in the accompanying rooms were beginning to turn back to their work, either shaking their heads in disapproval, shrugging, or giggling. "That was all you, girl." Colgate sniffled in embarrassment and rage, catching a whiff of her brand. Whatever was in her guts was creating quite a stink; her gas, hinted with sulfur, hung in the air like some awful perfume. A few were holding their breath, and one young colt was coughing. "I said shut up," Colgate barked at Lyra, shoving her tools back in her mouth. Lyra craned her neck away. "Yeesh, at least let me get one final breath of semi-fresh air before you stink the place up!" Colgate had had it; she trust her tools painfully into Lyra's mouth, eliciting a silent yelp of pain. The mischief in the mint-green mare's eyes had faded; she sat in silence as Colgate worked, breathing in the stench of her dentist's flatus. It wasn't long before Colgate ripped another one, the immature sound ringing out in the dentist's office. Lyra smiled and started raising her head as if to make a quip, but decided against it and slumped down. Colgate on the other hand was turning so red it was becoming visible through her cool blue coat. Her head felt hot and her knees weak. She worked quickly and impartially, the tools trembling in her fingers as she worked to get the job done. Just as she was finishing, the young mare broke wind once more. This one was nearly silent, and the emission seemed warm enough to burn her tail. As soon as the quiet hiss of air died down, the hot smell reached Colgate's nose. It was as if her previous gasses had all their intensities combined. It was like fermented cheese and rotten vegetables, hinted with the putrid aromas of digested protein and eggy sulfur. The miasma had now grown rancid. The smell clinged to everypony's senses like dew to grass. It poisoned the nostrils and lined the throat. One colleague who had taken enough of it marched over to the window and opened it as wide as she could, giving Colgate a disgusted glare. Others were literally gagging from the sustained stink. Colgate was trembling. Never in her life had she been so embarrassed. She was unaware that her own body was capable of producing this much gas, as well as gas this malodorous. She scanned the room, taking in the different reactions around her as well as sucking in a breath of her stinking release. "I-Igottagoseeyoulaterbye!" she cried out involuntarily, ripping her mask off and bolting out of the room. "Brush more towards the gum line!" she called out to Lyra as the door closed, and then the dentist was swift-footedly on her way. … Colgate sat down in her house, flipping through a book. She threw it down in disgust; she couldn't focus on anything but the horrors that unfolded today at work. How would she ever find the willpower to return there tomorrow? She reached over the bottles of anti-gas pills that littered the coffee table of her living room and took a swig of her drink, swishing it around in her mouth. That reminds me, she thought to herself. I better go brush before I head to bed. At least my top half will smell better than my lower... The twin-colored mare wet her brush and lifted up her bottle of new toothpaste. As she was squeezing it out, watching flecks of blue in the paste, she noticed the ingredient list. The primary ingredient was Poison Joke. Chapter 2With a gentle groan, Colgate lifted her upper body and rested her weight on her elbows. She blinked a few times, the familiar shape of twisted bedsheets and the wooden foot board appearing before her, the image swimmy as consciousness flooded into her. Sunlight beamed in through the blinds, stripes of white illuminating the dentist's small bedroom. She wiped her hairline with the back of her wrist; the balmy springtime had caused a thin layer of perspiration to build under her disheveled bangs. Stretching, the young mare kicked the wrinkled sheets from her body. Having realized that today was her day off, she smiled and inhaled a deep breath of her bedroom's stale air. In the air hung the aroma of her own flatus, musty from the hours it had been settling in the bed. Colgate crinkled her nose and grabbed the sheets, flapping them in an attempt to air them out. As the air flooded past her in waves, the memories of yesterday flashed in her mind like the flick of a light switch. Ponies' disgusted faces. Brash, rippling noises sounding out. The sensation of warm air rushing past her buttocks. How hot her face felt and how much the tears burned her eyes as she stormed out. And the feeling of being punched in the gut as she realized that it was all because of her stupid toothpaste. Colgate shook her head and threw the sheets down in frustration. Suddenly it felt like a weight had been chained to her mind and her heart. She hadn't felt so humiliated in her life. Something in her told her that it wasn't worth worrying about, but she couldn't help but feel that a chunk of her dignity had peeled away. Regardless of the weight of anxiety on her, she carried about her day. She rinsed the night's sweat off in a warm shower and autonomously gave her teeth the usual morning brushing (taking special care to use a non-tainted tube). She watched herself in the mirror as she brushed, dribbles of minty foam rolling down her chin. How is anypony going to respect me after that? She thought with a wince. As she sat down in front of her usual morning meal of oats and fruit, she flipped through the mail. Bills, flyers for the fair in town, a thank you letter from a young patient (always the most heartwarming of mail). At the bottom of the pile, however, was a peculiar letter. It was addressed to her but she couldn't identify a sender on any part of it. Curiously, she placed the rest of the mail down and gingerly split open the envelope. Within was a single letter, a message written neatly in ink. Dear Colgate, I was thinking about how we haven't hung out lately. It's been far too long for friends to stay distant. I was wondering if you'd like to meet up at the local cafe today? I already have a reservation there for myself at 2, and could use a little company. If you don't show up, that's fine, but I know it's your day off and wanted to catch up. Celestia knows you're always bogged down with work. Anyway, hope to see you there! Lyra Colgate grimaced while reading the letter. Lyra had been a friend of hers since they were both fillies. Not exactly the closest of friends, but the harpist and the dentist had pleasant history. As much as it would be nice to catch up, Colgate couldn't help but feel that this was somehow tied to yesterdays... incident. Lyra was a nice girl and all, but Colgate was well aware of her maturity level. She was no Pinkie Pie, but she certainly didn't shy away from jokes and pranks, and especially from speaking her mind. She worried that Lyra's lack of speech barriers was going to lead to a very awkward situation at the cafe. Not to mention that Colgate still felt personally embarrassed about the whole nightmare. Eventually, the doctor decided that a visit couldn't hurt her pride any more than it had already been wounded. It had been a few weeks since they before they got to speak outside of the office yesterday. She still had a few hours before Lyra would be waiting, she carried on her daily business. Colgate walked into the patio area of the cafe, looking around for her table. She was dressed in a loose, pastel sundress. She liked the way that the breeze cooled her bare coat and the rays of warmth embraced her through the airy fabric. The butterflies in her stomach had nearly settled now; she was looking forward to her rendezvous. After scanning the small crowd for some time, she spotted a lone unicorn, looking around in a way similar to herself. She walked over, her sandals clicking against the cobblestone. Lyra was dressed much more casually, in a tank top and denim shorts that extended midway down her thighs. Her thick mane hung over her shoulders, the white stripe glowing like snow in the afternoon spring sun. As Colgate approached, a smile grew on Lyra's face. "Hey Colgate!" she said, her voice sweet and jovial. She stood up, extending her arms out and stepping towards the dentist. Colgate froze for a moment, confused by Lyra's seemingly over-friendly greeting, but complied and embraced her friend. "Hey Lyra. How have you been?" she asked, arms still wrapped around the young unicorn's back. She smelled particularly nice, notes of her floral perfume and minty shampoo tingling Colgate's nose. "I'm doing great! Haven't seen you since yesterday!" Lyra giggled at her own humor. She returned to her seat and gestured for the dentist to take the seat opposite to her. Colgate took her seat, feeling more comfortable in Lyra's friendly aura. She couldn't have picked a nicer day for a get-together; the sun's warmth beat down gently, light glistening off glasses and the ribbons on the hats of older mares. The quiet chatter of fellow diners and the pleasant notes of songbirds were the only noises that broke Ponyville’s peaceful silence. "I already ordered you a melon-berry smoothie," Lyra interjected, breaking Colgate's quiet reflection. "I think that's your favorite." "Yeah, it is," Colgate responded, slightly confused yet pleased that her friend cared enough to remember. "You have a good memory. We haven't been to this cafe since last autumn." Lyra smiled warmly. Her sheer amicability this afternoon was surprising. Colgate figured that she was just overreacting about her flatulent outburst yesterday. "How has work been? You're a workhorse, that's for sure," the mint-colored unicorn observed. Colgate let out a strained laugh. Lyra was completely right; work had practically become her life as of late. "Mostly due to my new promotion," she responded. "They've got me working a few extra hours, a few more in-depth operations." "Ah," said Lyra. "Must be tiring." "Why? Do I look tired?" Colgate widened her eyes in alarm, suddenly feeling very self conscious. "No, not at all! You look very nice today!" "O-oh... thanks." Colgate stammered, hoping she didn't sound defensive. Familiar pangs of worry seeped back into her confidence. "I mean it. That's such a cute dress!" Lyra exclaimed, making Colgate blush. Before the dentist could respond, the waiter brought out their order; a tall glass of fruity smoothie for Colgate, and a heaping plate of spiced hay fries for Lyra. Colgate became aware of the void in her stomach, watching Lyra tuck into those greasy-smelling golden fries. As if she could read her mind, Lyra pointed a finger at her plate and looked at Colgate, as if permitting her to join in on her personal feast. "Thanks," Colgate smiled, taking a single hay fry and chowing down. While she sipped away at her smoothie and munched on a fry from time to time, she watched Lyra wolf down the fries like a lion at a steak. Somehow, it was almost... cute. "Yeesh, you wouldn't want to be with me in a few hours," the harpist giggled naughtily. "These things give me gas." Oh, great. Colgate feigned a laugh, although she was certain Lyra knew that flatulence humor wasn't exactly her cup of tea. If she hadn't been so sweet to her, Colgate would've sworn that somehow Lyra was referencing yesterday. "Just like you yesterday!" Celestia, let me sink into the floor and slither away. Colgate's face grew hot, her eyes darting around to make sure nopony heard. When she was certain Lyra's remark was only between those two, she shot the immature mare a glare. "What?" Lyra asked, genuinely confused. "I didn't offend you, did I?" "What do you think? Yesterday was awful!" Colgate blurted out, suddenly wishing she could retract the words. "Aw, geez," Lyra said, her mouth stretching into a worried line. "You need to lighten up Colgate! It was just some gas, it happens to the best of us! And it was pretty funny too!" Funny to you, Colgate thought spitefully. She doubted her peers felt the same way. "Really, I don't think it's a big deal. You can't let a fart or two kill your confidence!" As if to prove her point, Lyra shifted and began lifting up her leg, wincing. "No wait you don't have to prove it!" Colgate whined, shrinking back into her seat. If Lyra farted while in her company, Colgate swore she was going to kill that filly. "...like I said. Lighten up." Lyra sat back down, a giddy grin on her face. "What's life without fun?" As much as the dentist hated to admit it, Lyra did have a point. In hindsight, being able to relax enough to let bodily functions flow freely felt liberating in a way. Although she certainly didn't find it funny, the more she thought about it the less negative it seemed. There was no way in Tartarus that Lyra was figuring that out though. "I can't act like that in front of my patients and my fellow dentists!" Colgate exclaimed. Lyra crossed her arms. "Somepony really needs to teach you how to relax. It wasn't a big deal!" Colgate mimicked Lyra, crossing her arms and pouting. Her face was practically beet red; not only was she being teased about her flatulence, but now the very same pony was lecturing her. The two sat in silence for a while, awkwardly finishing their respective treats. Wiping the corners of her mouth, Lyra spoke up. "Sorry, Colgate. You know stuff just comes out sometimes. I really mean it though, it bugs me that you're taking silly things so seriously!" Colgate couldn't help but smile. It was truly nice having somepony care about her. Working sunup to sundown left very little for her in the way of friends, and finally having a decent conversation was like taking a hearty swig of water after a few days of thirst. Lyra always was a good friend, even if she had the maturity of an adolescent colt. "It's alright Lyra. You're right, I've just been so wound up lately," the toothpaste-patterned mare said with a sigh. "You sound like you could use a day at the fair," Lyra suggested. "I'd be happy to take you there sometime!" Take me there? Colgate wanted to ask. She thought better of it. "I'd love to go sometime soon." "It's around town for a week or two. When's good for you?" Lyra inquired. After a brief flip through her daily planner, Colgate picked Wednesday, just two days away. She would be getting out early. "Sounds like a plan!" Lyra smiled and nodded as the waiter gingerly removed the dishes from the table. "For now, though, maybe we should head home." Colgate looked at the sky. The sun had sunk slightly lower to the ground, tinges of orange beginning to stain the white radiance. A single cricket or two had begun its nightly serenade, and the cafe tables were being replaced with new faces. "Wow, time flies," Colgate noted. Lyra left a few bits on the table after insisting that the food was on her. Standing up, she invited Colgate in for another hug. The two young mares embraced again, their grasp on each other a bit tighter than before. Colgate felt rather awkward, but Lyra didn't seem to pay any mind to it. With a wave, the two parted ways and Colgate found her way back home. In bed that night, Colgate watched the ceiling fan swing lazily in the dark. She was pleased about the day; not only did she get to visit a friend, she finally got a little closure about her humiliation the day before. Still, she couldn't help but feel that Lyra was a bit too friendly. She shrugged it off as Lyra being a protective and sensitive friend, however, and soon enough the gentle waves of sleep washed over her consciousness. Chapter 3“Open wide.” The filly did as Colgate requested, spanning her jaw out to fully expose her teeth. The dentist poked and prodded around the girl’s mouth, making note of the several loose teeth. Her patient twitched occasionally, but otherwise remained still in the chair. “You’ve done a very good job with your teeth,” Colgate said, standing upright and placing her tools down. “Just make sure to brush towards the gum line, and don’t try to pull those loose teeth out yet.” Colgate gave a small toy to the quiet foal and sent her on her way, thankful for such a well-behaved patient. After she left through the door, Colgate slipped off her mask and took a deep breath. The familiar medicinal smell of the office had grown on her, its sterile tinges comforting her as if this small cubicle were her second home. Her life seemed on the up and up. Just a half hour or so until she got off from work. Watching Equestria’s springtime dance through the window, she began to daydream about the fair. She wasn’t normally one for carnivals (let alone outgoing at all), but Lyra sure was. Ever since Monday the dentist was looking forward to this afternoon. It certainly felt like she needed a break. Work had been hanging over her like a malevolent shadow for what felt like months. Although her coworkers and acquaintances kept her company, Lyra felt like a well needed escape. Colgate examined herself in the mirror, adjusting her skirt. Her scrubs were a tangled mess in the corner, having been taken off just minutes ago. She was already a minute or two late, causing her to hasten her preparation. She wasn’t happy when a patient wasn’t on time, so she assumed that short-tempered Lyra was even more impatient. Still, she went through the effort to look nice, her outfit matching the vernal atmosphere. The lights of the fair could be seen flickering through the trees from her house. Within a few minutes, she was walking down the winding pathways to the fairgrounds. This fair was always a pleasant event in the homely town of Ponyville, whose leisurely pace saw little action compared to the neighboring metropolises like Manehattan. Colgate recalled her days growing up in that city. She always felt like stranger to some degree during her youth, and expected a quiet town to suit her. Indeed, she found greater comfort between the wooden pillars of trees than the concrete behemoths that made up her hometown. The introversion that many city-dwellers are raised into never quite shook off of her though. She walked along the path, ears perked and eyes alert for her friend. She kicked small pebbles and clouds of dust around with her feet, scanning the upcoming gates of the fair. The fear that she was late gently tickled her stomach. Why am I so focused on impressing her? Colgate asked herself in a moment of self-awareness. Insecurity seemed to be the most likely motivator, but abstract fears couldn’t bog down the dentist’s mood today. A spearmint green blur became apparent in the small crowd that stood outside the wooden gates of the fair site. Almost as if it could read Colgate’s mind, the color began to shift through the crowd, Lyra’s form becoming visible. Colgate grinned and waved at her, meeting her halfway. “Hey again Colgate! Glad you could make it!” Lyra said, smiling warmly at the dentist. She opened her arms, inviting Colgate to embrace. Once again the two young mares hugged. Colgate couldn’t help but notice the softness of the fabric on her friend, and how beneath its loose, silky folds there was a certain warmth. “How are you?” inquired Lyra, shaking Colgate from her thoughts. “I’m well, thanks,” she responded. “I love your shirt. It feels-- I mean, looks so nice on you.” “Oh, thanks! I thought you’d like it.” Colgate instantly felt a wave of regret. Why did I say that? That sounded a lot better in my head, I look like a creep now... “Colgate? Are you awake?” Once again, the dentist was snapped back into reality by Lyra’s words. “Yeah, sorry, I just… didn’t get much sleep last night, I guess. Overworked.” Lyra cocked an eyebrow, clearly not convinced by the answer. Thankfully she let the issue slide and began to head into the fair, beckoning Colgate to follow. Entering through the gates, a shower of lights and noise flooded the mares’ senses. The laughter and squeals of ecstatic ponies filled the twilight air, reminiscent of both of the mares’ foalhoods. Young colts and fillies darted around their legs, chasing after their friends. A potpourri of familiar smells wafted through the air: sweet notes of cotton candy and treats, buttery and salty hints of popcorn, and the earthy, natural smell of the fairgrounds. Colgate took a slow look around, absorbing the sights and sounds. “Wow, I haven’t been here in years,” she remarked, her voice distant in awe. “You haven’t?” replied Lyra. “I love this place! I’ve been coming here every year, ever since I was a filly. Didn’t we go here on a school trip a while ago?” “Yeah, you’re right,” Colgate said, recalling a class trip back from when she and Lyra were learning how to do basic math in that little red schoolhouse by the Apple family farm. “Let’s start walking around, we’re in everypony’s way!” Lyra suggested, grabbing Colgate by the forearm and striding into the crowd. Colgate hurried along, beginning to feel uncomfortable as Lyra’s grip held on for painful seconds afterwards. Lyra had the same excited look she always had when she came here as a young pony. It was hard not to nice the way her gold eyes glowed with excitement and how her step acquired a light bounce as she bounded down the row of game stalls and snack stands. She sure has no problem with the touch barrier, Colgate mentally noted. The green unicorn was leading her through the crowd by the wrist, causing the lights and noises to blur past her. “Where are we going, Lyra?” Colgate called out, her voice barely discernable from the dozens of chatters around her. “We’re getting in line for my favorite ride, of course!” Lyra said as if it was common knowledge. She pointed an eager finger into the sky; ahead of them laid a tall wheel of metal and wood, secured seats at points on the rim. Colgate easily recognized it as a Ferris wheel. It wouldn’t have been so disturbing if she hadn’t seen that the seats could roll forwards or backwards. “Those things aren’t supposed to move,” Colgate said, suddenly aware of the fact Lyra had let go of her wrist and was watching the ride with fascination. “Yeah they are! That’s the fun part,” she responded. “What, did you think it was just going to take you up to the top and down again?” Colgate was hoping that was the case. She could feel a twinge of fear bud in her stomach. “Lyra…” The unicorn was already at the front of the line, paying for two seats. “Lyra, I think my stomach is bruised.” “Well maybe you shouldn’t have been leaning on the bars,” Lyra scolded. “And don’t scream so loud.” “The thing was going to come flying off!” Colgate cried. “And the operator wasn’t listening to me!” Lyra snorted with laughter. “Jeez Colgate, relax. That thing is safer than your dentist’s chair,” she teased. “Besides, even if it did fall apart, you’d only have to worry for a few seconds.” Colgate rolled her eyes at Lyra’s humor. She had trouble getting that mare. The adrenaline still left her heart thumping and her legs feeling like sacks of gelatin, but Lyra seemed unfazed by the whole event. She just had on this ear-to-ear grin, occasionally shooting amused glances at the squealing dentist. And she had tried to rock the thing back and forth! “Let’s try something less… painful,” Colgate suggested, breaking the silence between the two girls as they walked through the fair. More than once her entire body weight had ended up balanced on the bar securing her in. “Is the Canterlot Coaster more suiting?” Lyra giggled, pointing at a miniature roller coaster decorated like the famous castles. “Lots of foals there, bet you’d fit right in.” “Lyra!” Colgate snapped. She could feel her cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Oh fine, maybe we’ll just grab a snack instead,” Lyra said as she directed the pair towards a food stand. “I hope you’re hungry, I know I am.” “Yeah, I could do with some food,” Colgate replied. The excitement of the evening had completely masked her hunger up until now. Smells of greasy snack food and sweets wafted from the brightly lit hut, only helping to further the rumbling in her stomach. The two mares ordered their meals and took a seat on a nearby bench. Colgate satisfied herself with a fruit kebab. Lyra, on the other hand, ordered several cookies and a bag of candy.Colgate wondered how she managed to keep that frame of hers, noticing that her own body was… more shapely than that of her friend’s. “Thanks for treating me,” Colgate said, chomping down on a juicy morsel. “No problem,” Lyra smiled, bits of colorful candy in between her teeth (to Colgate’s dismay). “That’s what friends are for, right?” Colgate smiled in response, nodding. By now, the roar of foals and friends had begun to quiet. Crickets were beginning their nightly orchestra of shrill chirping with the rising moon as their conductor. A warm breeze passed over the fairgrounds, the comforting breath of summer’s birth sending wisps of Colgate’s mane into her eyes. Looking into the melting oranges and crimsons of the sunset, the dentist spoke to Lyra: “It’s getting late. We should think about heading home.” “About that…” Lyra began. She stared down at her food as she spoke, twirling her bare toes through the grass. “I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight. Maybe we could watch a movie or something.” “I really don’t think I can,” Colgate responded. Lyra looked farther down, as if she were shy about something. “I-it’s just that I have work early tomorrow. Believe me, I’d love to visit if I could,” the blue-coated mare continued. Lyra once again perked up, smiling meekly. “I’ve been having lots of fun with you as of late.” “I feel the same way,” Lyra said, warmth in her voice. “I’m glad I’m not bothering you with all this running around I’m making you do.” “Certainly not! You know how work gets in the way of things though,” Colgate mused. “Anyway, I think I should head home now. I’m exhausted.” “Me too. I had a lot of fun today, thanks for coming,” Lyra grinned. “I’d love to come visit sometime soon, if you don’t mind,” Colgate said. She knew this would please Lyra, and sure enough the filly’s face lit up in joy. “I’ll see you then,” continued the dentist. “Yup, bye!” Lyra said, waving farewell to Colgate. When she was well out of ear’s reach, the doctor giggled. She always loved that goofy smile plastered on Lyra’s face.
The Dentist's (not laughing) GasColgate forced the brush in and out of her mouth, watching her reflection in the mirror with half-closed eyes. It was a morning like any other. In an hour, she would be meeting with patients and cleaning teeth as usual. She was a very meticulous mare; her timing was punctual, her plans always well thought out, and in particular her hygiene was impeccable. She always prided herself on how clean and tidy she was; certainly she wasn't snooty about it, but it was well known that the bicolored mare's teeth shone like the sun. Naturally, dentistry was her calling. She swished the foamy mixture of saliva and toothpaste in her mouth, sleepily noting the taste. She had recently purchased a new brand of toothpaste, an abnormal deviation from her typical Colgate (her own secret recipe of tooth-cleaning chemicals, not-so-creatively named after herself). Within the hour, she was out the door and headed to work. Colgate went over her patient charts and chatted with her coworkers as she typically did, but she noticed that there was a strange pressure in her abdomen. It reminded her of being full after a large meal. The feeling was not too uncomfortable, however, so she accredited it to the extra helping of hay fries she enjoyed for dinner last night. With her morning brushing done, she headed off to work. ... At 9:30, her first appointment began. When she walked into the room, a meek-looking yellow filly made eye contact with her before averting her gaze to Colgate's shoes. "Good morning, Fluttershy!" the dentist greeted warmly, well aware of the identity of her first patient of the day. "Hello Doctor," Fluttershy responded, her voice nearly a whisper. Colgate smiled. "Just a routine cleaning today, I believe," she stated. "Any questions?" Fluttershy paused before answering "No." Colgate directed Fluttershy to lie down and positioned the seat correctly, adjusting the lighting and preparing the tools. The pressure in Colgate's belly had grown by now. As she bent down to begin working on her patient's teeth, she winced, a sharp pain radiating from her gut. The young mare followed typical procedure, prodding at the shy filly's gums and scraping between the teeth. Fluttershy was always very good with her dental health, she mentally noted. Suddenly, a low groan sounded out. Colgate felt a deep vibration in her gut accompany the noise. Fluttershy heard it too, and looked up at Colgate. The dentist pony smiled, as if inviting Fluttershy to laugh. She let out a giggle through the tools in her mouth and Colgate joined in. "Sorry, I must be hungry," she suggested, although she knew that wasn't the case. It felt like a balloon had been inflated in her guts. Any movement and she could feel her innards shift around this mass, like a stone that rested deep in the center of her intestines. Having to bend over frequently to tend to Fluttershy's mouth was certainly not helping the issue any. The minty filly would excuse herself as soon as the checkup was done. She was finishing prodding at the last few of Fluttershy's teeth, noticing that she missed a spot. As she bent down to reach, she farted. It was not particularly long; only a second or two did it last. It sounded out like a broken trumpet, loud and brash and tapering off into a high note at the end. Colgate looked up, her eyes wide. Surprisingly, only a few of her colleagues seemed to notice, staring at her with a mix of furrowed brows and stifled grins. Fluttershy was visibly blushing, but otherwise did not react. Colgate felt the blood rush up to her own cheeks. Instantly, shame flooded in like a cold torrent of water. She felt frozen in place, the few eyes watching her freezing her muscles. Oh god, a voice in her head whispered. Did I really just do that? Quickly recovering, Colgate went back to work on finishing Fluttershy's cleaning. The aroma of her gaseous expulsion was certainly noticeable. The stench tickled her nose through her medical mask. The scent of digested hay and other vegetables sourly mixed in with a hint of... mint, surprisingly. Thankfully, the smell seemed to have faded a few sniffs later. Still feeling a bit mortified, Colgate stepped back and allowed Fluttershy to stand up. "Thanks for coming in, you did well," Colgate began saying. "Just make sure to get the back teeth when you floss, okay?" "Sure thing, Doctor! Thanks," Fluttershy said, her voice sweet and appreciative. She waved to Colgate as she left the room. The dentist sighed. She still felt butterflies (in addition to the bubble of gas) in her stomach. She prayed that no one would talk about her... outburst. It made her feel dirty and unprofessional. "Accidents happen, I suppose," she quietly muttered to herself, repositioning the chair and getting a sterile set of tools. "Although I don't feel any relief..." Colgate checked the clock and her charts. She had a good twenty or so minutes before her next appointment. As soon as she was done tidying up her station, she headed to the mares' room. Locking the door behind her, she let out a sigh of relief. She would get it all out in here and be done with it. She tugged her pants down her legs, the bright blue scrubs falling to the floor. Wiggling her undergarments down her thighs, she took a seat on the toilet. Almost instantly, the force that was pressing against her tailhole was released. A several-second long fart, just as noisy as before, sounded out. The crude noise echoed off of the porcelain bowl, once again making the normally clean mare blush. The fart made ripples in the water that lapped up against the sides of the bowl. She strained and farted again, this one much the same as the previous one, only louder. Embarrassed, Colgate reached her arm out and turned on the faucet to mask the noise of her flatulent episode. She tried a third time, the smell of her colon rising up to meet her nostrils. The stink was growing more pungent. It wasn't stomach-turningly rancid, but it would definitely flare a few more nostrils than the bomb she dropped near Fluttershy would. Frustrated, Colgate checked her watch. Over ten minutes had passed already, and all she accomplished is fouling the air in the restroom. She still felt nauseously full, but she had no choice. She stood up, redressed herself, and went back out into the hallway. She got an odd glance or two as she proceeded down the corridor, but she made no indication that they bothered her. On the inside, she still felt the wound of shame festering. When she returned to her chair, her next patient was already sitting; Lyra Heartstrings. "Oh, hey Colgate!" Lyra said, grinning and waving at the doctor. Lyra and Colgate were acquaintences. Certainly not the best of friends, but the two had crossed paths more times than strangers would. "Hello, Lyra," Colgate greeted cordially. "Today you're having a routine checkup and a flouride treatment, right?" " You're the dentist!" replied the harpist, reclining in the dentist's chair and opening her mouth wide. "Eager to get this over with?" mused Colgate, an entertained smile on her face. Colgate went to work on Lyra's mouth, although there was little work to be done. Surprisingly, the eccentric musician took very good care of her oral hygiene. As Colgate worked, she felt the gas inside of her churn and work its way around her insides, a sudden pressure building inside of her rear. The blue-coated filly gritted her teeth; she was not going to mess up again, she promised herself. She clenched and tightened, but the gas kept building up like a river about to pour over a dam. It was hopeless though. She bent over her patient an inch too far, and the nightmare ripped through her buttcheeks. Starting off low and bassy before varying in pitch, her flatulence was not unlike a wind instrument being played by a novice. She felt the gas rip through her plot and brush against her coat and tail. The few seconds this burst lasted felt like minutes as each head in the room turned to stare. The fart died down into an airy hiss before silence filled the void. Lyra was the first one to respond. "Geez, Colgate," she laughed. "I had no idea you could fart like a farm animal." The toothpaste-maned mare had half the mind to lunge at Lyra's throat. "S-shut up!" she stuttered out. "It..." "Wasn't you?" finished Lyra. By now, those in the accompanying rooms were beginning to turn back to their work, either shaking their heads in disapproval, shrugging, or giggling. "That was all you, girl." Colgate sniffled in embarrassment and rage, catching a whiff of her brand. Whatever was in her guts was creating quite a stink; her gas, hinted with sulfur, hung in the air like some awful perfume. A few were holding their breath, and one young colt was coughing. "I said shut up," Colgate barked at Lyra, shoving her tools back in her mouth. Lyra craned her neck away. "Yeesh, at least let me get one final breath of semi-fresh air before you stink the place up!" Colgate had had it; she trust her tools painfully into Lyra's mouth, eliciting a silent yelp of pain. The mischief in the mint-green mare's eyes had faded; she sat in silence as Colgate worked, breathing in the stench of her dentist's flatus. It wasn't long before Colgate ripped another one, the immature sound ringing out in the dentist's office. Lyra smiled and started raising her head as if to make a quip, but decided against it and slumped down. Colgate on the other hand was turning so red it was becoming visible through her cool blue coat. Her head felt hot and her knees weak. She worked quickly and impartially, the tools trembling in her fingers as she worked to get the job done. Just as she was finishing, the young mare broke wind once more. This one was nearly silent, and the emission seemed warm enough to burn her tail. As soon as the quiet hiss of air died down, the hot smell reached Colgate's nose. It was as if her previous gasses had all their intensities combined. It was like fermented cheese and rotten vegetables, hinted with the putrid aromas of digested protein and eggy sulfur. The miasma had now grown rancid. The smell clinged to everypony's senses like dew to grass. It poisoned the nostrils and lined the throat. One colleague who had taken enough of it marched over to the window and opened it as wide as she could, giving Colgate a disgusted glare. Others were literally gagging from the sustained stink. Colgate was trembling. Never in her life had she been so embarrassed. She was unaware that her own body was capable of producing this much gas, as well as gas this malodorous. She scanned the room, taking in the different reactions around her as well as sucking in a breath of her stinking release. "I-Igottagoseeyoulaterbye!" she cried out involuntarily, ripping her mask off and bolting out of the room. "Brush more towards the gum line!" she called out to Lyra as the door closed, and then the dentist was swift-footedly on her way. … Colgate sat down in her house, flipping through a book. She threw it down in disgust; she couldn't focus on anything but the horrors that unfolded today at work. How would she ever find the willpower to return there tomorrow? She reached over the bottles of anti-gas pills that littered the coffee table of her living room and took a swig of her drink, swishing it around in her mouth. That reminds me, she thought to herself. I better go brush before I head to bed. At least my top half will smell better than my lower... The twin-colored mare wet her brush and lifted up her bottle of new toothpaste. As she was squeezing it out, watching flecks of blue in the paste, she noticed the ingredient list. The primary ingredient was Poison Joke.
Chapter 2With a gentle groan, Colgate lifted her upper body and rested her weight on her elbows. She blinked a few times, the familiar shape of twisted bedsheets and the wooden foot board appearing before her, the image swimmy as consciousness flooded into her. Sunlight beamed in through the blinds, stripes of white illuminating the dentist's small bedroom. She wiped her hairline with the back of her wrist; the balmy springtime had caused a thin layer of perspiration to build under her disheveled bangs. Stretching, the young mare kicked the wrinkled sheets from her body. Having realized that today was her day off, she smiled and inhaled a deep breath of her bedroom's stale air. In the air hung the aroma of her own flatus, musty from the hours it had been settling in the bed. Colgate crinkled her nose and grabbed the sheets, flapping them in an attempt to air them out. As the air flooded past her in waves, the memories of yesterday flashed in her mind like the flick of a light switch. Ponies' disgusted faces. Brash, rippling noises sounding out. The sensation of warm air rushing past her buttocks. How hot her face felt and how much the tears burned her eyes as she stormed out. And the feeling of being punched in the gut as she realized that it was all because of her stupid toothpaste. Colgate shook her head and threw the sheets down in frustration. Suddenly it felt like a weight had been chained to her mind and her heart. She hadn't felt so humiliated in her life. Something in her told her that it wasn't worth worrying about, but she couldn't help but feel that a chunk of her dignity had peeled away. Regardless of the weight of anxiety on her, she carried about her day. She rinsed the night's sweat off in a warm shower and autonomously gave her teeth the usual morning brushing (taking special care to use a non-tainted tube). She watched herself in the mirror as she brushed, dribbles of minty foam rolling down her chin. How is anypony going to respect me after that? She thought with a wince. As she sat down in front of her usual morning meal of oats and fruit, she flipped through the mail. Bills, flyers for the fair in town, a thank you letter from a young patient (always the most heartwarming of mail). At the bottom of the pile, however, was a peculiar letter. It was addressed to her but she couldn't identify a sender on any part of it. Curiously, she placed the rest of the mail down and gingerly split open the envelope. Within was a single letter, a message written neatly in ink. Dear Colgate, I was thinking about how we haven't hung out lately. It's been far too long for friends to stay distant. I was wondering if you'd like to meet up at the local cafe today? I already have a reservation there for myself at 2, and could use a little company. If you don't show up, that's fine, but I know it's your day off and wanted to catch up. Celestia knows you're always bogged down with work. Anyway, hope to see you there! Lyra Colgate grimaced while reading the letter. Lyra had been a friend of hers since they were both fillies. Not exactly the closest of friends, but the harpist and the dentist had pleasant history. As much as it would be nice to catch up, Colgate couldn't help but feel that this was somehow tied to yesterdays... incident. Lyra was a nice girl and all, but Colgate was well aware of her maturity level. She was no Pinkie Pie, but she certainly didn't shy away from jokes and pranks, and especially from speaking her mind. She worried that Lyra's lack of speech barriers was going to lead to a very awkward situation at the cafe. Not to mention that Colgate still felt personally embarrassed about the whole nightmare. Eventually, the doctor decided that a visit couldn't hurt her pride any more than it had already been wounded. It had been a few weeks since they before they got to speak outside of the office yesterday. She still had a few hours before Lyra would be waiting, she carried on her daily business. Colgate walked into the patio area of the cafe, looking around for her table. She was dressed in a loose, pastel sundress. She liked the way that the breeze cooled her bare coat and the rays of warmth embraced her through the airy fabric. The butterflies in her stomach had nearly settled now; she was looking forward to her rendezvous. After scanning the small crowd for some time, she spotted a lone unicorn, looking around in a way similar to herself. She walked over, her sandals clicking against the cobblestone. Lyra was dressed much more casually, in a tank top and denim shorts that extended midway down her thighs. Her thick mane hung over her shoulders, the white stripe glowing like snow in the afternoon spring sun. As Colgate approached, a smile grew on Lyra's face. "Hey Colgate!" she said, her voice sweet and jovial. She stood up, extending her arms out and stepping towards the dentist. Colgate froze for a moment, confused by Lyra's seemingly over-friendly greeting, but complied and embraced her friend. "Hey Lyra. How have you been?" she asked, arms still wrapped around the young unicorn's back. She smelled particularly nice, notes of her floral perfume and minty shampoo tingling Colgate's nose. "I'm doing great! Haven't seen you since yesterday!" Lyra giggled at her own humor. She returned to her seat and gestured for the dentist to take the seat opposite to her. Colgate took her seat, feeling more comfortable in Lyra's friendly aura. She couldn't have picked a nicer day for a get-together; the sun's warmth beat down gently, light glistening off glasses and the ribbons on the hats of older mares. The quiet chatter of fellow diners and the pleasant notes of songbirds were the only noises that broke Ponyville’s peaceful silence. "I already ordered you a melon-berry smoothie," Lyra interjected, breaking Colgate's quiet reflection. "I think that's your favorite." "Yeah, it is," Colgate responded, slightly confused yet pleased that her friend cared enough to remember. "You have a good memory. We haven't been to this cafe since last autumn." Lyra smiled warmly. Her sheer amicability this afternoon was surprising. Colgate figured that she was just overreacting about her flatulent outburst yesterday. "How has work been? You're a workhorse, that's for sure," the mint-colored unicorn observed. Colgate let out a strained laugh. Lyra was completely right; work had practically become her life as of late. "Mostly due to my new promotion," she responded. "They've got me working a few extra hours, a few more in-depth operations." "Ah," said Lyra. "Must be tiring." "Why? Do I look tired?" Colgate widened her eyes in alarm, suddenly feeling very self conscious. "No, not at all! You look very nice today!" "O-oh... thanks." Colgate stammered, hoping she didn't sound defensive. Familiar pangs of worry seeped back into her confidence. "I mean it. That's such a cute dress!" Lyra exclaimed, making Colgate blush. Before the dentist could respond, the waiter brought out their order; a tall glass of fruity smoothie for Colgate, and a heaping plate of spiced hay fries for Lyra. Colgate became aware of the void in her stomach, watching Lyra tuck into those greasy-smelling golden fries. As if she could read her mind, Lyra pointed a finger at her plate and looked at Colgate, as if permitting her to join in on her personal feast. "Thanks," Colgate smiled, taking a single hay fry and chowing down. While she sipped away at her smoothie and munched on a fry from time to time, she watched Lyra wolf down the fries like a lion at a steak. Somehow, it was almost... cute. "Yeesh, you wouldn't want to be with me in a few hours," the harpist giggled naughtily. "These things give me gas." Oh, great. Colgate feigned a laugh, although she was certain Lyra knew that flatulence humor wasn't exactly her cup of tea. If she hadn't been so sweet to her, Colgate would've sworn that somehow Lyra was referencing yesterday. "Just like you yesterday!" Celestia, let me sink into the floor and slither away. Colgate's face grew hot, her eyes darting around to make sure nopony heard. When she was certain Lyra's remark was only between those two, she shot the immature mare a glare. "What?" Lyra asked, genuinely confused. "I didn't offend you, did I?" "What do you think? Yesterday was awful!" Colgate blurted out, suddenly wishing she could retract the words. "Aw, geez," Lyra said, her mouth stretching into a worried line. "You need to lighten up Colgate! It was just some gas, it happens to the best of us! And it was pretty funny too!" Funny to you, Colgate thought spitefully. She doubted her peers felt the same way. "Really, I don't think it's a big deal. You can't let a fart or two kill your confidence!" As if to prove her point, Lyra shifted and began lifting up her leg, wincing. "No wait you don't have to prove it!" Colgate whined, shrinking back into her seat. If Lyra farted while in her company, Colgate swore she was going to kill that filly. "...like I said. Lighten up." Lyra sat back down, a giddy grin on her face. "What's life without fun?" As much as the dentist hated to admit it, Lyra did have a point. In hindsight, being able to relax enough to let bodily functions flow freely felt liberating in a way. Although she certainly didn't find it funny, the more she thought about it the less negative it seemed. There was no way in Tartarus that Lyra was figuring that out though. "I can't act like that in front of my patients and my fellow dentists!" Colgate exclaimed. Lyra crossed her arms. "Somepony really needs to teach you how to relax. It wasn't a big deal!" Colgate mimicked Lyra, crossing her arms and pouting. Her face was practically beet red; not only was she being teased about her flatulence, but now the very same pony was lecturing her. The two sat in silence for a while, awkwardly finishing their respective treats. Wiping the corners of her mouth, Lyra spoke up. "Sorry, Colgate. You know stuff just comes out sometimes. I really mean it though, it bugs me that you're taking silly things so seriously!" Colgate couldn't help but smile. It was truly nice having somepony care about her. Working sunup to sundown left very little for her in the way of friends, and finally having a decent conversation was like taking a hearty swig of water after a few days of thirst. Lyra always was a good friend, even if she had the maturity of an adolescent colt. "It's alright Lyra. You're right, I've just been so wound up lately," the toothpaste-patterned mare said with a sigh. "You sound like you could use a day at the fair," Lyra suggested. "I'd be happy to take you there sometime!" Take me there? Colgate wanted to ask. She thought better of it. "I'd love to go sometime soon." "It's around town for a week or two. When's good for you?" Lyra inquired. After a brief flip through her daily planner, Colgate picked Wednesday, just two days away. She would be getting out early. "Sounds like a plan!" Lyra smiled and nodded as the waiter gingerly removed the dishes from the table. "For now, though, maybe we should head home." Colgate looked at the sky. The sun had sunk slightly lower to the ground, tinges of orange beginning to stain the white radiance. A single cricket or two had begun its nightly serenade, and the cafe tables were being replaced with new faces. "Wow, time flies," Colgate noted. Lyra left a few bits on the table after insisting that the food was on her. Standing up, she invited Colgate in for another hug. The two young mares embraced again, their grasp on each other a bit tighter than before. Colgate felt rather awkward, but Lyra didn't seem to pay any mind to it. With a wave, the two parted ways and Colgate found her way back home. In bed that night, Colgate watched the ceiling fan swing lazily in the dark. She was pleased about the day; not only did she get to visit a friend, she finally got a little closure about her humiliation the day before. Still, she couldn't help but feel that Lyra was a bit too friendly. She shrugged it off as Lyra being a protective and sensitive friend, however, and soon enough the gentle waves of sleep washed over her consciousness.
Chapter 3“Open wide.” The filly did as Colgate requested, spanning her jaw out to fully expose her teeth. The dentist poked and prodded around the girl’s mouth, making note of the several loose teeth. Her patient twitched occasionally, but otherwise remained still in the chair. “You’ve done a very good job with your teeth,” Colgate said, standing upright and placing her tools down. “Just make sure to brush towards the gum line, and don’t try to pull those loose teeth out yet.” Colgate gave a small toy to the quiet foal and sent her on her way, thankful for such a well-behaved patient. After she left through the door, Colgate slipped off her mask and took a deep breath. The familiar medicinal smell of the office had grown on her, its sterile tinges comforting her as if this small cubicle were her second home. Her life seemed on the up and up. Just a half hour or so until she got off from work. Watching Equestria’s springtime dance through the window, she began to daydream about the fair. She wasn’t normally one for carnivals (let alone outgoing at all), but Lyra sure was. Ever since Monday the dentist was looking forward to this afternoon. It certainly felt like she needed a break. Work had been hanging over her like a malevolent shadow for what felt like months. Although her coworkers and acquaintances kept her company, Lyra felt like a well needed escape. Colgate examined herself in the mirror, adjusting her skirt. Her scrubs were a tangled mess in the corner, having been taken off just minutes ago. She was already a minute or two late, causing her to hasten her preparation. She wasn’t happy when a patient wasn’t on time, so she assumed that short-tempered Lyra was even more impatient. Still, she went through the effort to look nice, her outfit matching the vernal atmosphere. The lights of the fair could be seen flickering through the trees from her house. Within a few minutes, she was walking down the winding pathways to the fairgrounds. This fair was always a pleasant event in the homely town of Ponyville, whose leisurely pace saw little action compared to the neighboring metropolises like Manehattan. Colgate recalled her days growing up in that city. She always felt like stranger to some degree during her youth, and expected a quiet town to suit her. Indeed, she found greater comfort between the wooden pillars of trees than the concrete behemoths that made up her hometown. The introversion that many city-dwellers are raised into never quite shook off of her though. She walked along the path, ears perked and eyes alert for her friend. She kicked small pebbles and clouds of dust around with her feet, scanning the upcoming gates of the fair. The fear that she was late gently tickled her stomach. Why am I so focused on impressing her? Colgate asked herself in a moment of self-awareness. Insecurity seemed to be the most likely motivator, but abstract fears couldn’t bog down the dentist’s mood today. A spearmint green blur became apparent in the small crowd that stood outside the wooden gates of the fair site. Almost as if it could read Colgate’s mind, the color began to shift through the crowd, Lyra’s form becoming visible. Colgate grinned and waved at her, meeting her halfway. “Hey again Colgate! Glad you could make it!” Lyra said, smiling warmly at the dentist. She opened her arms, inviting Colgate to embrace. Once again the two young mares hugged. Colgate couldn’t help but notice the softness of the fabric on her friend, and how beneath its loose, silky folds there was a certain warmth. “How are you?” inquired Lyra, shaking Colgate from her thoughts. “I’m well, thanks,” she responded. “I love your shirt. It feels-- I mean, looks so nice on you.” “Oh, thanks! I thought you’d like it.” Colgate instantly felt a wave of regret. Why did I say that? That sounded a lot better in my head, I look like a creep now... “Colgate? Are you awake?” Once again, the dentist was snapped back into reality by Lyra’s words. “Yeah, sorry, I just… didn’t get much sleep last night, I guess. Overworked.” Lyra cocked an eyebrow, clearly not convinced by the answer. Thankfully she let the issue slide and began to head into the fair, beckoning Colgate to follow. Entering through the gates, a shower of lights and noise flooded the mares’ senses. The laughter and squeals of ecstatic ponies filled the twilight air, reminiscent of both of the mares’ foalhoods. Young colts and fillies darted around their legs, chasing after their friends. A potpourri of familiar smells wafted through the air: sweet notes of cotton candy and treats, buttery and salty hints of popcorn, and the earthy, natural smell of the fairgrounds. Colgate took a slow look around, absorbing the sights and sounds. “Wow, I haven’t been here in years,” she remarked, her voice distant in awe. “You haven’t?” replied Lyra. “I love this place! I’ve been coming here every year, ever since I was a filly. Didn’t we go here on a school trip a while ago?” “Yeah, you’re right,” Colgate said, recalling a class trip back from when she and Lyra were learning how to do basic math in that little red schoolhouse by the Apple family farm. “Let’s start walking around, we’re in everypony’s way!” Lyra suggested, grabbing Colgate by the forearm and striding into the crowd. Colgate hurried along, beginning to feel uncomfortable as Lyra’s grip held on for painful seconds afterwards. Lyra had the same excited look she always had when she came here as a young pony. It was hard not to nice the way her gold eyes glowed with excitement and how her step acquired a light bounce as she bounded down the row of game stalls and snack stands. She sure has no problem with the touch barrier, Colgate mentally noted. The green unicorn was leading her through the crowd by the wrist, causing the lights and noises to blur past her. “Where are we going, Lyra?” Colgate called out, her voice barely discernable from the dozens of chatters around her. “We’re getting in line for my favorite ride, of course!” Lyra said as if it was common knowledge. She pointed an eager finger into the sky; ahead of them laid a tall wheel of metal and wood, secured seats at points on the rim. Colgate easily recognized it as a Ferris wheel. It wouldn’t have been so disturbing if she hadn’t seen that the seats could roll forwards or backwards. “Those things aren’t supposed to move,” Colgate said, suddenly aware of the fact Lyra had let go of her wrist and was watching the ride with fascination. “Yeah they are! That’s the fun part,” she responded. “What, did you think it was just going to take you up to the top and down again?” Colgate was hoping that was the case. She could feel a twinge of fear bud in her stomach. “Lyra…” The unicorn was already at the front of the line, paying for two seats. “Lyra, I think my stomach is bruised.” “Well maybe you shouldn’t have been leaning on the bars,” Lyra scolded. “And don’t scream so loud.” “The thing was going to come flying off!” Colgate cried. “And the operator wasn’t listening to me!” Lyra snorted with laughter. “Jeez Colgate, relax. That thing is safer than your dentist’s chair,” she teased. “Besides, even if it did fall apart, you’d only have to worry for a few seconds.” Colgate rolled her eyes at Lyra’s humor. She had trouble getting that mare. The adrenaline still left her heart thumping and her legs feeling like sacks of gelatin, but Lyra seemed unfazed by the whole event. She just had on this ear-to-ear grin, occasionally shooting amused glances at the squealing dentist. And she had tried to rock the thing back and forth! “Let’s try something less… painful,” Colgate suggested, breaking the silence between the two girls as they walked through the fair. More than once her entire body weight had ended up balanced on the bar securing her in. “Is the Canterlot Coaster more suiting?” Lyra giggled, pointing at a miniature roller coaster decorated like the famous castles. “Lots of foals there, bet you’d fit right in.” “Lyra!” Colgate snapped. She could feel her cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Oh fine, maybe we’ll just grab a snack instead,” Lyra said as she directed the pair towards a food stand. “I hope you’re hungry, I know I am.” “Yeah, I could do with some food,” Colgate replied. The excitement of the evening had completely masked her hunger up until now. Smells of greasy snack food and sweets wafted from the brightly lit hut, only helping to further the rumbling in her stomach. The two mares ordered their meals and took a seat on a nearby bench. Colgate satisfied herself with a fruit kebab. Lyra, on the other hand, ordered several cookies and a bag of candy.Colgate wondered how she managed to keep that frame of hers, noticing that her own body was… more shapely than that of her friend’s. “Thanks for treating me,” Colgate said, chomping down on a juicy morsel. “No problem,” Lyra smiled, bits of colorful candy in between her teeth (to Colgate’s dismay). “That’s what friends are for, right?” Colgate smiled in response, nodding. By now, the roar of foals and friends had begun to quiet. Crickets were beginning their nightly orchestra of shrill chirping with the rising moon as their conductor. A warm breeze passed over the fairgrounds, the comforting breath of summer’s birth sending wisps of Colgate’s mane into her eyes. Looking into the melting oranges and crimsons of the sunset, the dentist spoke to Lyra: “It’s getting late. We should think about heading home.” “About that…” Lyra began. She stared down at her food as she spoke, twirling her bare toes through the grass. “I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight. Maybe we could watch a movie or something.” “I really don’t think I can,” Colgate responded. Lyra looked farther down, as if she were shy about something. “I-it’s just that I have work early tomorrow. Believe me, I’d love to visit if I could,” the blue-coated mare continued. Lyra once again perked up, smiling meekly. “I’ve been having lots of fun with you as of late.” “I feel the same way,” Lyra said, warmth in her voice. “I’m glad I’m not bothering you with all this running around I’m making you do.” “Certainly not! You know how work gets in the way of things though,” Colgate mused. “Anyway, I think I should head home now. I’m exhausted.” “Me too. I had a lot of fun today, thanks for coming,” Lyra grinned. “I’d love to come visit sometime soon, if you don’t mind,” Colgate said. She knew this would please Lyra, and sure enough the filly’s face lit up in joy. “I’ll see you then,” continued the dentist. “Yup, bye!” Lyra said, waving farewell to Colgate. When she was well out of ear’s reach, the doctor giggled. She always loved that goofy smile plastered on Lyra’s face.
