Twilight Sparkle And the Very Confusing Day

by kudzuhaiku

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Berry Punch, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sex
Length: 11181

Twilight and her friends get together for a sleepover, and Discord wants to join. Twilight insists that the sleepover is mares only. Discord obliges the only way he knows how.

Now with 23% more sequel!

Twilight and her friends all get together for a sleepover, looking forward to some well deserved downtime. Discord arrives, standing outside in the rain, pleading for entrance and to come in out of the weather. Twilight Sparkle insists that this is a mares only sleepover, so Discord does the only thing he can do, doing the unthinkable to gain entry.

Once inside, Discord, now Eris, tries to bond with the mane six and learn the magic of friendship.

The mane six fail to take into account the magic of Discord.

Now featured on April 16th, 2014. Thank you all so very much!

Published 2014-04-15 18:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-17 20:36:40 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight Sparkle loved going through her checklists.

Popcorn ✓

Soda ✓

Chocolate ✓

Spike away visiting Celestia ✓

List about making checklists ✓

Stuff for makeovers ✓

Board games ✓

Beverages of a more adult nature ✓

Art of Sleepovers Two: What To Do With Your Friends And You ✓

Magazine containing self help quizzes with silly questions ✓

And Twilight couldn’t help but feel that she was forgetting something. Something important. She struggled to remember what it was. Ooh!

Friends ✓

She scribbled in the last word and checked it off.

She was always forgetting some minor frivolous detail.

“I think we are good to go girls.” Twilight Sparkle said.

“Yay!” Fluttershy whispered, causing Rainbow Dash to look at her in annoyance.

“Oh we are sure to have a marvelous time.” Rarity said, clapping her hooves together.

“Last time wasn’t so bad.” Applejack remarked.

“And it was raining last time as well.” Twilight said.

“Only we are all here now.” Pinkie Pie said, giggling.

“Are we going to do to girly stuff, like give each other hooficures?” Rainbow asked, rolling her eyes and crossing her forelegs over her barrel.

“I hope so.” Fluttershy said in a shy voice.

“Ugh.” Rainbow replied.

“And truth or dare!” Pinkie Pie said.

“No fair. Applejack always wins in truth or dare.” Rarity said, a faint pout in her voice.

“Shucks, always honest.” Applejack replied.

“I dare somepony to dare me to tickle Dashie!” Pinkie quipped.

“Pinkie, we are not playing truth or dare.” Rainbow replied.

Pinkie Pie drooped, now crestfallen.

“We can still play later though.” Rainbow said, causing Pinkie to perk up with a pinktacular grin.

“I have a better idea. We tickle Fluttershy until she pees!” Pinkie Pie said, grinning evilly.

Fluttershy meeped and ducked behind Rarity.

“Pinkie Pie! For shame! At least make sure she has a few drinks first.” Rarity said in scolding tones.

“I can drink to that.” Pinkie Pie said, cracking open a bottle of cider.

“Me too.” Rainbow said, opening the bottle with her teeth and spitting out the cap.

Twilight watched as her friends began to settle in. They were all drinking now. The book said that alcohol was a social lubricant and would aid them all in having a good time with one another, lowering inhibitions and making even the most introverted pony an extravert. Twilight popped the cap and glugged down half a bottle of cider.

Intoxicate self ✓

Twilight Sparkle flipped a few more pages, looking ahead, and then snapped the book shut violently when she saw the chapter on innocent experimentation with close friends in an intimate environment. She felt the corner of her eye twitch.

“Twilight, darling, is something wrong?” Rarity inquired.

“Nothing!” Twilight snapped. “Nothing at all.” Twilight finished off her bottle with a single swallow and belched lightly, her wings fluttering.

There was a knock at the door.

Knock at the door ✓

Twilight paused. She didn’t remember writing that there, or checking it off. How peculiar. She squinted down inside of the bottle of cider she just drank, looking for suspicious residue.

No signs of suspicious residue ✓

Twilight shook her head and looked at the door.

She slowly trotted over, and the knock came again.

She pulled open the door with her magic.

And there stood Discord, standing in the rain and looking miserable. He was drenched, soaked, water running down his coat in rivulets. He looked at Twilight pleadingly.

“Might I come in?” Discord begged.

“No. We are having a sleepover. Mares only.” Twilight said.

“But it is wet. And cold. I am a friend in need.” Discord said pleadingly.

Twilight heard a pitiful squeak from Fluttershy behind her.

“Mares only. Sorry.” Twilight said, slamming the door.

After the door latched, there was another insistent knock.

Followed by another.

“Twilight please.” Begged Fluttershy. “He looks so lonely. And he needs friends.”

Twilight pulled the door back open and looked at Discord. Only, it wasn’t Discord. It was something else entirely.

“Call me Eris.” Discord, now Eris, said huskily.

He/She stood, leaning on the door frame in a seductive and sultry pose. “I’m one of the mares now… So can I come in?” Eris said breathily, an almost lusty pant.

Rainbow Dash lost control of her wings, slapping Pinkie Pie and nearly knocking her over.

“Gosh Dashie, control your self!” Pinkie said, rubbing her cheek.

“Discord… I just don’t know what to do with you sometimes.” Twilight said, feeling very confused. “I mean, right now… I can’t deal with this.”

“Twilight, please?” Fluttershy said, her wings now fluttering slightly.

“Ugh. Fine.” Twilight said in defeat. “Come in.”

Eris entered, completely dry. She darted over and gave Fluttershy an intimate hug, causing Fluttershy to blush and sputter, her wings now out and fully erect.

“Hi there filly friend!” Eris said gleefully.

“Nice going Stuttershy.” Rainbow chortled.

“Dashie, mind your manners. That’s not nice.” Rarity said.

Twilight checked her list.

One draconequus ✓

Wait, that definitely wasn’t there a minute ago.

Now she knew something was up. And didn’t care. She cracked open a bottle of cider and guzzled it. This time, Twilight’s belch was borderline magnificent, and it caused Rarity to moue in frustration. Which for some reason, made Twilight feel better. Time for another cider.

One somewhat plastered Twilight Drunkle ✓

Twilight crumpled up the list and threw it away.

“Oh you are so very soft and squeezable my dearest Fluttershy… But I couldn’t hold you before, not like this, it wouldn’t be appropriate!” Eris said, pulling Fluttershy closer.

“No, no I suppose it wouldn’t.” Fluttershy agreed. “But we're both female. And this hug is just a friendly hug.”

Eris nodded, and then leaned down and sniffed Fluttershy’s mane, planting her nose right behind Fluttershy’s ear.

“I’m goin’ to need more cider before I can watch that.” Applejack said, downing a bottle and eyeing Eris and Fluttershy.

“Just innocent female bonding.” Eris said in a smouldering gritty voice.

“Uh… uh…. oooh…. oh… oh my!” Fluttershy stammered, now melting in Eris’ embrace, her wings quivering.

“I’m feeling confused, and slightly aroused.” Pinkie Pie said with a shiver. Rainbow nodded.

“This is going to be a long night.” Twilight deadpanned. “And I have no bucks left to give. I am going to go and make Celestia ashamed of me.” She popped open another bottle of cider, this time, pear.

“Is this how mare friends bond?” Eris asked, looking concerned. “And we are all friends, right?” She began to run her talons through Fluttershy’s mane, combing out a few errant tangles.

Pinkie Pie nodded, saying nothing, tipping back her bottle and taking a long pull.

“Fee-male bondage.” Twilight Sparkle hiccuped, causing every pony in the room to look at her oddly. “What?”

Rarity’s eyelids flew open wide while her eyes shrank into pinpricks as she continued to watch Eris and Fluttershy bond with one another. Fluttershy was no longer passively being bonded. She was now a reciprocating with an alarming alacrity.

Applejack chugged down another cider and pushed her hat back. She belched loudly.

“Applejack dear, what do you say?” Rarity said graciously.

“Uncouth.” Applejack said, belching again.

Fluttershy paused her bonding with Eris long enough to take a few tiny delicate sips of cider from her bottle. Eris finished off the rest, licking the end of the bottle with her tongue. “Well, I am ready to party.” Eris said smiling broadly.

Ready to party ✓

Twilight checked off the list inside of her mind. It was okay though. Things had only mildly spiraled out of control. Nothing major. Yet. No enchanted doll tearing apart the town. No major crisis. Just a little innocent fun and a minor loss of control.

The room descended into rampant female bonding. There were mud masks and facials. Cucumbers over the eyes. Magazine quizzes were taken. The cider supply was completely demolished, and bottles of applejack was opened up by Applejack. S’mores were made. Innocent experimentation happened. A bottle was spun for nearly two hours, followed by a dangerously delicious game of truth or dare, where Applejack revealed that she was indeed, turned on by Rarity’s droopy drawers when she had dressed up as a farmer. Caution was thrown into the wind and Eris stood in the middle of the now swirling storm of chaos. And Eris was more than a little tipsy.

Eventually, as it always must be when mares have a sleepover, the topic turned to stallions.

“I keep trying to drop hints for Soarin’ to let him now I like him.” Rainbow said, wobbling back and forth somewhat. “But he never pays no attention.”

“Sho tellsh shim howsh yoush feelsh.” Pinkie Pie said, laying on her back. “Shtop witsh shte hintsh. Justsh tellsh shim yoush likesh shim.”

“I can’t do that.” Rainbow whined. “I’m too awesome. Showing him I’m desperate would make me look like a loser.”

“Mmm. Trenderhoof.” Rarity moaned, leaning on Applejack, taking long pulls out of a tall glass now half full of apple whiskey.

Fluttershy snored, passed out after drinking a half a bottle of cider, a new record for her. Pinkie Pie was going to draw terrible things on Fluttershy’s face, but Eris had shooed her away.

“Stallions just don’t understand how hard it is to be a mare.” Rainbow protested. “We have to go through a lot of trouble as mares. If we’re too eager, that’s bad. If we keep our distance, that’s bad too. And the middle ground is full of traps and forever changing lines that constantly shift from being a prude to being a total whorse.”

“Yeah!” Applejack agreed. “I chase down one stallion and tie him up and suddenly I’m into bondage.” Applejack hiccuped. “And ponies start to call me Flapplejack, implying I’m some kind of loose whorse. I hear what ponies say behind my back.”

“Andsh everyponysh wantsh their waysh into Pinkie’sh shpie.” Pinkie said. “I’m notsh a pashtry. And Ish don’tsh needsh every shtallion’sh cream fillingsh.” Pinkie said and then took a long pull directly from a bottle of apple whiskey. “Andsh I don’tsh know why poniesh keep talking about cupshcakesh.”

“Blueblood.” Rarity said, not needing to say anything else.

“Yeah. Stallions.” Twilight said. “They have it soooo easy. They wouldn’t survive one day as a mare. Stallions have like the most wonderful lives ever. Nothing is ever complicated for them. Like my brother. Find a cotton candy alicorn, say “hey babe” a few times, and now he is living the easy life with no concerns at all.” Twilight said, swaying back and forth, leaning on Rainbow Dash.

“And all this concern about being a little gay. Stallions can’t bond like we can.” Rainbow said. “Case in point.” Rainbow Dash grappled with Twilight Sparkle, twisting her around for a kiss, planting a long slow wet smooch on Twilight’s lips. Twilight’s wings exploded outwards, her eyes went wide, and her body went completely stiff. Rainbow continued her liplock for several minutes, running a hoof up and down Twilight’s side. Eventually, she let go and let Twilight fell down to the floor in a breathless heaving heap, her tail twitching madly.

“See, that’s what I’m taking about.” Rainbow Dash explained. “If two stallions did that, they’d be freaking out and complaining about being gay. That was just a friendly kiss between us girls, right Twilight?” Rainbow wiped her muzzle with a foreleg.

“Totally innocent.” Twilight agreed.

“I havesh the shtrangest lady-boner.” Pinkie Pie blurted.

“Mmmhmm.” Rarity said, taking another long drink.

“I think I feel a little dribble o’ applesauce after that display.” Applejack said.

“Stallions.” Eris harrumphed. “Who needs them. We’re better off without them!”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Applejack said.

Rarity fell over with a thud, her glass falling away from her and spilling its contents. Pinkie Pie cried a little seeing the spilled liquor.

“Another one bites the dust.” Applejack said, looking down at Rarity. She yawned.

“I think Twilight is out.” Rainbow said. “I bet I can take you AJ. Last pony awake wins.”

“Deal.” Applejack said.

“I wanna watshislittlegame…” Pinkie Pie said, trailing off into a snore.

Twilight Sparkle awoke next to something warm. Something blue. Her head thudded. Her mouth tasted awful. She felt nauseous. But it was nice waking up to something blue. She felt an odd sensation in on her belly. Something… Weird. She shifted her body and felt something odder still, something not only rubbing against her belly, and but something stabbing her as well.

Rainbow Dash was laying belly to belly with her, their legs all together in a tangle, Rainbow drooling on the floor, her mane matted and stiff being in a drool puddle for hours.

Twilight pulled herself away and looked down, wondering if there was a whiskey bottle between them or something.

Twilight gasped when she saw it wasn’t a whiskey bottle. She and Rainbow Dash both were stallions, and both were in the throes of terrible morning wood.

Twilight did the only thing she could do in that situation.

She screamed.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Twilight shrieked.

Rainbow Dash was awake in seconds, stumbing and fumbling around, when she also happened to notice something ‘off.’

“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!” Rainbow cried. “This isn’t gay! This isn’t gay! Twilight, tell me, this isn’t gay!”

Rainbow rolled away and tried to cover herself with her wings.

Twilight heard a grunting sound coming from the bathroom. She got to her hooves and trotted over, listening, worried. It sounded like somepony was either sick or in pain in there. Maybe both.

“Pinkie Pie?” Twilight said, thinking she recognised the grunting voice.

“Go away!” Pinkie Pie grunted, her voice strained.

Twilight pulled open the bathroom door and was immediately struck in the face with confetti… From Pinkie Pie’s party cannon. Pinkie Pie still had her flexible fetlock wrapped around her cannon, her face frozen in horror.

Twilight Sparkle wiped away a copious amount of confetti from her muzzle and turned around. Eris was nowhere to be seen. Twilight’s morning wood throbbed painfully. She heard Rarity screaming, followed by Fluttershy meeping and crying.

“I’ll be. Bigguns run in the family.” Applejack said, too hungover to be appalled.

Twilight Sparkle heard screams coming from outside. She ran to the door and threw it open. She didn’t like what she saw. All around her, everywhere she looked, she saw mares with morning wood and stallions who had a distinct lack of morning wood.

There was chaos in the streets of Ponyville.

“I had no idea these were so much fun!” Pinkie Pie giggle-snorted.

Plan to kill Discord ✓

Author's Note

To be continued...

Chapter 2

“Ooh, it is all veiny and dry looking. Quickly now, somepony help me rub moisturiser on it!” Rarity whined and pleaded. “And it is all hot and throbby right now… This can’t be normal!”

“Oh no!” Rainbow said, streaking away from Rarity, “I’m not helping you rub moisturiser on that. No way.”

“Some friend you are.” Rarity pouted. “Won’t somepony pleeeeeease help me?”

Fluttershy stood and sniffed for a few minutes. Her wings sprang out erect. She let out a low throaty rumbling growl. She took off at a run and bowled over Twilight Sparkle who still stood in the door. Fluttershy was gone. Screams could be heard from outside.

“Spike! Take a letter!” Twilight waited for Spike’s reply. Which did not happen. She facehoofed, remembering she had sent him to Canterlot.

There was anarchy in the streets.

Twilight Sparkle shifted her legs, trying to hide herself from view. It was very embarrassing. All around her, she could smell mares. And mares smelled good.

It was almost impossible to control her own urges. All she could think about was grabbing somepony and… She slapped herself with a hoof.

She thought about waking up with Rainbow Dash and suddenly felt very, very confused.

“Moisturiser!” Rarity squealed behind her. Twilight gritted her teeth. “Somepony help poor Rarity with some moisturiser!” Twilight barked.

“How ‘bout NO!” Applejack retorted.

“Rarity is well hung! She’s practically the spirit of generousity!” Rainbow Dash guffawed.

“Dashie.” Applejack said.

Twilight heard a loud crash and the sounds of Rainbow Dash choking and struggling to breathe.

“Applejack! Watch where you point that thing!” Rainbow cried in alarm.

Twilight Sparkle felt a vein throbbing in her temple.

Pinkie Pie pushed past Twilight Sparkle and went out into the open. “Hey everypony! Look what I can do with my party cannon!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“PINKIE NO!” Twilight commanded. Twilight realised her voice was still the same voice, coming out of very masculine body. She felt a strange feeling of panic.

“D’aw, Twilight, I can make confetti shoot out.” Pinkie Pie pouted.

Twilight snorted, causing a single piece of confetti from earlier to shoot out of her nostril.

“Twilight! Help us! Something is wrong!”

Twilight Sparkle saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders rushing up to her.

“Is my sister still here?” Apple Bloom inquired.

“I’ve got a big problem! Sweetie Belle shouted.

“I’ve got a bigger problem!” Scootaloo added.

“And my problems the biggest!” Apple Bloom said proudly.

Twilight Sparkle facehoofed several times.

“Girls, go inside the library and stay in there. It isn’t safe out here right now.” Twilight was rapidly losing her patience. And her mind.

“Gosh darn, Apple Bloom, if the Apple family don’t grow ‘em big.” Applejack announced as her sister came in the door.

“Everypony try to stay calm!” Twilight shouted.

Rainbow Dash shot past Twilight, taking to the skies. “I gotta go find Soarin’!” Rainbow cried, streaking off.

“Dash, get back here!” Twilight shouted. But it was too late. Rainbow Dash was gone.

Fluttershy stalked her prey. She couldn’t help it, she had needs. She saw a big red mare. A BIG red mare. And the mare was exceptionally well endowed, gifted with the rare set of exceptionally large pony teats. Fluttershy watched Big McIntosh and licked her lips. Big Mac’s teats hung down past his knees. Her knees. Fluttershy couldn’t tell any more, and didn’t care.

“Oh hi there Big Mac.” Fluttershy said in sultry tones.

Big Mac looked terrified.

“Are you scared of little old me?” Fluttershy said, tittering and hiding her mouth behind a hoof.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac replied.

“Oh, you shouldn’t be.” Fluttershy said. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Eenope.” Big Mac replied.

“Oh, but I am weak.” Fluttershy said.

“Eenope.” Big Mac said, looking even more worried.

“And I am helpless.” Fluttershy said seductively.

“Eenope!” Big Mac shouted, taking off at a gallop, his teats waving from side to side.

Fluttershy took off in hot pursuit.

Berry Punch wandered around town, trying to figure out what was going on. Something was terribly wrong. She had woke up this morning and what she had saw had sobered her up instantly. Sobriety was a terrible state of being, but doubly so now that she was under so much stress. The world had gone mad. Not only was she stone cold sober, but she had a terrible problem. The scent of mareflesh replaced wine as her favourite smell. All around her, she could smell it. It made her burn with desire. Hot throbbing pulsating desire. For the first morning in most of her adult life, she had woken up and she didn’t want a drink. Other needs were far more pressing.

She turned the corner and saw Thunderlane, backed into a corner by the Flower Power Gang, Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily Valley. They were talking sweetly and seductively to him, making him promises, begging him to hold still. Thunderlane must have remembered he / she had wings at some point, because he / she flew away, leaving the Flower Power Gang grunting in frustration.

Berry Punch saw Raindrops taking off after Thunderlane, pleading for him to slow down. She? Berry Punch couldn’t tell.

She trotted under a window at Sugarcube Corner, and heard Mr. and Mrs. Cake going at it. Clearly, some ponies were making the most of the odd situation.

Celestia arose to raise the sun that morning, only to find something else was raised. She sat for several minutes staring at the tentpole protruding up from the blankets. This was certainly awkward. The slightest movement causes the blanket to rub along the tip, creating a most terrible horrible delightful wonderful sensation.

And Celestia felt a powerful sense of confusion as she lay there blinking and trying to figure out how to face the day.

There was a knock at the door.

“Your Majesty, are you, uh, forgive me for asking, decent?”

“Enter.” Celestia commanded.

Her captain was now a mare. Celestia felt confused. And intrigued.

Captain Windburn stared at the tent pole rising up in the middle of the blanket, saying nothing, trying to look away.

“Captain, we have a problem.” Celestia said in a careful controlled monotone.

Windburn nodded, saying nothing, gulping, still having her gaze drawn back to the bulge rising several feet out of Celestia’s blankets.

“I seem to have a very large problem.” Celestia calmly commented, seemingly very pleased with herself. “Sol Invictus has risen to power.”

The captain nodded. “There is a larger problem… Your Majesty.”

“There is a larger problem? Celestia said in disbelief.

Windburn nodded and licked nervous lips.

“Do tell.” Celestia said.

“The Princess Luna rampages, frolicking with the willing guard. She, well, His Majesty actually has a much larger problem.”

“HOW?” Celestia bellowed in Ye Olde Canterlotian.

“Uh, my guess is, Goddess, er, God of the Moon, who controls the spheres of fertility.” Windburn said, very distractedly. “The guard are very competitive, many have tried to see who can take it all in, nopony yet has managed.”

“Captain, you are aware of your duties and privileges of being a captain of the guard, correct?” Celestia said softly. “The old laws and traditions. In the books covered in dust.”

Captain Windburn nodded fearfully.

“I may require your services if I am to raise the sun. There is no way I could concentrate with this.” Celestia made a circular gesture with her hoof as she spoke. “I’ll try to be gentle, but I make no promises.”

Big Mac sought refuge in the library. He told a terrifying story of being chased by a visibly aroused butter yellow pegasus that was no longer shy, but wily and dangerous. He had escaped, just barely, with both his dignity and his fresh marehood intact.

And Twilight Sparkle was having trouble concentrating, The sway of the teats was most distracting. And Big Mac certainly looked…

“Girls, we must go stop Fluttershy. Applejack, bring rope. Rarity, I am going to need your help. Pinkie Pie, you too. Big Mac, you stay here and watch the Crusaders.” Twilight commanded.

“They keep staring at my teats. I feel so dirty and embarrassed.” Big Mac mumbled.

“Big Mac, I keep staring at your teats. And I feel dirty and embarrassed.” Twilight admitted.

The library door burst open. Rumble came running in. “Help me! Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon keep chasing me!”

“Oh hi Rumble!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaargh!” Rumble screamed.

“Big Mac, keep an eye on them and make them behave.” Twilight said, feeling a brief moment of pity for Rumble. He made for an adorable little filly. “Come on girls.”

Twilight and her friends left the library and went into the anarchy on the streets of Ponyville.

Cheerilee waited, watching Twilight and her friends leave. She could be patient. She had needs though. She had trailed Big Mac and had watched him run into the library. She ran forward and banged on the door.

“Go away!”

“Big Mac, let me in, I am so scared and alone out here!” Cheerilee shouted.

“I bet.” Big Mac said, noncommittally.

“So will you let me in?” Cheerilee begged.

“Eenope.” Big Mac answered.

“Why not?” Cherilee pleaded.

“There are foals in here.” Bic Mac replied.

“Class is in session then…. We can teach them all about the birds and the bees.” Cheerilee said.

“Ee-that might be nice. But eenope.” Bic Mac said.

“Aaaw please?” Cheerilee said, banging on the door. “This is a public library. You have to let me in, so let me in right now, this instant!” Cheerilee insisted.

“Let me out!” Rumble cried, banging on the other side of the door. “I look at Apple Bloom and I feel like I am less of a colt!”

Cheerilee let out a hot and bothered grunt of frustration. She would have to relieve her tensions elsewhere.

Author's Note

Somepony help Rarity apply moisturiser for crying out loud.

Leave a like, a fave, or a comment if you laughed and you feel like being generous!

Chapter 4

Twilight Sparkle was having trouble concentrating. Trixie smelled good. A little too good. She was intoxicating. Distracting. It was going to be nigh impossible to function with this sort of distraction. Trixie, now in mare form, seemed all too aware of Twilight’s problem. The way she moved. The way she flicked her tail and wafted her mare scent through the air. Her every move seemed all too seductive.

Twilight Sparkle paused and thought carefully. She moved like that every day. This was normal behaviour. Trixie wasn’t begging for it, Trixie was just being a normal mare.

“Having trouble Sparkle?” Trixie inquired.

“You have NO idea Trixie.” Twilight responded, trying not to breathe through her nose.

“You want Trixie… Don’t you Sparkle...” Trixie had a sly smouldering stare, her eyes narrowed, her mouth drawn into a smirk. “All you have to do is admit it and you can have me Sparkle. Just admit that you are powerless to the Sexy and Seductive Trixie.”

Twilight heard Pinkie Pie giggling nearby and Rarity sighing.

Trixie eyed the empty schoolhouse. No class was in session today.

Prepare self mentally to lose virginity ✘

“Trixie, we, uh, have an important task to look after.” Twilight stammered.

Trixie turned and rubbed up against Twilight Sparkle’s side like a cat, purring as she did so. Applejack made an odd choking sound, Pinkie began to pant heavily, and Rarity was muttering to herself. Trixie’s tail flicked up Twilight’s nose as she went past, the long silky hairs tickling over Twilight’s nostrils and leaving behind the most wonderful smell.

Twilight throbbed painfully and there was an ache, down below her dock.

Prepare self mentally to lose virginity ✓

“Trixie, if you don’t get into that schoolhouse right now this instant, I am going to make you my mare right here on the street in front of everypony.” Twilight commanded.

Trixie froze and made an odd gurgle, her eyes rolling back into her head for a moment. Her tail twitched. A new scent filled the air.

“Oh, you like being commanded and put in your place.” Twilight said authoritatively.

Trixie nodded shyly, trotting toward the schoolhouse with her head low. Twilight Sparkle followed close, sniffing at Trixie’s tail.

“I’ll be right back.” Twilight said to her friends, before disappearing into the schoolhouse. There was a crash and a grunt, followed by a shrill winny.

Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie stood outside, exchanging awkward glances with one another, not daring to say anything to one another. Rarity had raised an eyebrow, Applejack was whistling innocuously, and Pinkie Pie was busy studying a rock.

Frightful sounds came from inside the schoolhouse.

“Detention!” Twilight cried, her voice audible from outside.

Rarity scratched her chin with her hoof, now looking off in the distance, trying to not look at anything in particular. Applejack shook her head slowly, wincing once as there was a screeching sound of chalk going over a chalkboard from inside the schoolhouse. Pinkie Pie perversely dared to look through a window, and her jaw dropped.

“Twilight is making Trixie write “I am a naughty filly" on the blackboard over and over.” Pinkie gasped, her eyes wide.

“Aw nuts, I didn’t need to hear that.” Applejack growled in frustration.

“Pinkie Pie, stop looking!” Rarity chided.

“But Twilight is spanking Trixie with a yardstick.” Pinkie Pie protested.

Rarity scowled and peeked through the window. “Oh my… that’s hot!” Rarity fanned herself with her hoof, her mouth open, her tongue now out and panting.

Thou Princess Twilight cometh… ✓

“Hello Time Turner.”

Time turner froze and saw a grey pegasus with familiar amber eyes that never seemed to point in the same direction. His breath caught in his throat.

“Remember all those times you stuffed my muffin?” Derpy said in low husky tones.

Time Turner nodded slowly.

“Now I plan to stuff yours.” Derpy said.

Time Turner continued to nod slowly. The blue box behind him opened and a pony stepped out slowly, Time Turner could hear the clicking of hooves.

“I’ve brought a friend.” Derpy said, smiling broadly, as she always smiled.

Time Turner turned and saw a second Derpy, half in and half out of the blue box. The second Derpy smiled at him gamely.

“One heart for both of us, correct?” Both Derpy’s said in unison.

Time Turner nodded and gulped.

Zecora saw a minotaur ahead of her on the road. She was completely naked and flustered looking. Tall, blue, and endowed with enormous breasts on her chest, which was an odd place to have breasts, all things considered.

The minotaur glared at Zecora defiantly.

“When somepony tries to block, you must stuff them with your cock!” The minotaur shouted.

Zecora considered this. The minotaur was certainly blocking the road. One side of it anyway. Zecora was a zebra with needs. She couldn’t afford to be picky.

“Treat me like a pushover, and I’ll give you the once over!” The minotaur shouted.

Zecora took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Don’t be shy, look me right in the eye!” The minotaur bellowed.

Zecora noticed that something was certainly winking when it looked at her.

“If I make you ooze, come blow your fuse!” The minotaur challenged. “Iron Will is my name, rutting ponies is my game.” She struck a pose, flexing her muscles.

“Just bend over, do so now, I am rutting you, you filthy cow.” Zecora announced.

Celestia surveyed the damage as she landed in Ponyville. Her royal guard shuffled nervously, all of them more than a little worried. Ponyville had always been a city with an excess of mares. And now, the balance of power had shifted.

Celestia could smell it. All around her. The scent of arousal. Things were rapidly getting out of hoof. She needed to find Twilight and get some answers. Celestia knew that Discord was behind this. Captain Windburn stood beside her, somewhat bowlegged and standing awkwardly, muttering something about Sol Invictus destroying the city gates.

Celestia struggled against what she now knew was a magical arousal.

“Spread out. In pairs. Watch each other’s backsides. Look for Twilight Sparkle. Restore order.” Celestia commanded.

Trixie did her best to ignore the stares of Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie as they trotted through town, heading towards the sounds of panicked screams and stampeding hooves. Twilight Sparkle was walking with a new swagger and Trixie smiled a wry smile.

“Admit it Twilight, you are powerless to Trixie’s charms.” Trixie muttered. “Trixie will have no problem luring the flutter pony in so you might chain her up.”

“Yeah.” Twilight said breathlessly.

“The Sexy and Seductive Trixie is a master baiter.” Trixie crowed. “Not even Twilight Sparkle could resist my charms!”

Rarity froze mid step, nearly swallowing her lower lip. Pinkie Pie lifted up her hoof and bit down on it, pulled it away, spit out some confetti stuck to her hoof, and then bit down on it again, her eyes squeezing shut. Applejack pulled her hat off and began chewing on the edge of it, her eyes wide, her sides hitching.

Twilight broke down. Her face seized up for a moment, the corner of her mouth twitching up and down, one eye blinking rapidly while the other eye did nothing. One ear drooped. “What?” Twilight said in a strained tone.

“The Sexy and Seductive Trixie is a master baiter. I have this job firmly in hoof!” Trixie repeated.

“You certainly do Trixie.” Twilight sniggered.

“About time you recognise Trixie’s power.” Trixie said smugly.

The group came around the corner of the spa, and they saw her. She had a stallion, now a mare, backed up against a wall.

“Help me!” Gizmo cried in nasal tones “I’m too pretty for my own good!”

“Take me! The Sexy and Seductive Trixie, recognised by Princess Twilight Sparkle as a master baiter! Come and get it stud!” Trixie shouted, rushing forward, preserving Gizmo’s now slightly moldy virginity that was well past its expiration date.

Trixie turned and presented herself, raising her tail suggestively. Fluttershy snorted, pawing at the earth. Her nostrils flared.

“She’s completely feral!” Rarity cried. “Poor Fluttershy.”

There would be no flying away this time. Fluttershy’s wings were stiff as boards, the pegasus now in a frantic and mad state of arousal. She charged at Trixie.

It didn’t take much for Twilight to subdue her with the chains, snapping padlocks into place, wrapping around her body, her neck, and her legs. Fluttershy thrashed and snorted, fighting, kicking, screaming, and trying to buck anypony that came too close.

“This is heart breaking.” Rarity said with genuine concern. “Poor thing has gone right over. I hope she hasn’t hurt anypony. She could never live with herself if she has.”

Applejack nodded. “Come on Flutters, let’s see if we can dunk you in a cold lake or something somewhere.”

Fluttershy’s only reply was a feral equine scream.

“We need to fix this.” Pinkie Pie said, sounding somewhat sad. “I can’t make Fluttershy smile if she’s like that.”

“She’s mad with desire for Trixie!” Trixie shouted.

Twilight glared at Trixie for several minutes.

Give Trixie more detention ✓

“I don’t know if I have another gender change spell in me.” Twilight said. “They’re draining.”

Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie began to pull Fluttershy forward by her chains, Fluttershy kicking and thrashing along the ground.

“Is that Celestia?” Pinkie asked.

“Celestia!” Twilight shouted, flooded with relief.

Twilight Sparkle stood next to Celestia, feeling very, very inadequate. She tried not looking at something that was practically at eye level. Celestia had taken it all in, listening to every detail, the events of the day, the sleepover the night before, Twilight and her companions had told her everything.

Pinkie Pie had even helpfully mentioned Twilight Sparkle’s private tutelage of Trixie Lulamoon in the Ponyville schoolhouse, causing Celestia’s composure to crack briefly.

“We need to find Discord. Or Eris. Or whoever he might be at the moment.” Twilight said.

“Are Trixie’s services as a master baiter required again?” Trixie inquired.

Celestia chortled, which turned into a careful cough into her hoof.

“We need to fix Fluttershy. It is awful seeing her chained up like this.” Pinkie Pie pleaded to Celestia, her expression sad. Not even Trixie announcing her new title could make her smile.

“DISCORD!” Celestia shouted. “SHOW YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY AND THERE MAY YET BE MERCY!”

Twilight and her companions waited, as did Celestia. Some members of her guard shuffled around. Fluttershy kicked and snorted, stomping her hooves, straining against her chains. She sniffed at the guards and nickered aggressively.

“I never meant for this to happen, honest!”

Twilight looked around for the source of the voice, as did Celestia.

“This is all just a big mistake, I really am sorry!” Eris slinked into view, coming out from behind the office of a used wagon sales lot.

“Fix this at once Discord.” Celestia commanded.

“I can’t! Don’t you think I’ve tried?” Eris pleaded.

“Eris, Discord, stop playing games and fix this.” Twilight commanded.

“Honestly, I can’t!” Eris replied.

“Explain then, why you cannot fix this mess you have created.” Celestia said angrily.

“Look, I, well, I showed up last night to bother the girls during their sleep over and they wouldn’t let me in. Said it was mares only. So I did the only thing a God of Chaos could do. I changed my gender like you might change a dress. And then something happened that I hadn’t expected to happen.” Eris hung her head and slumped in defeat.

“And that is?” Celestia inquired.

“Being in the female form, I went into season some time last night. I noticed it when I was, uh, engaging in some female bonding with Fluttershy. When the girls were asleep, I fled, not wanting to take advantage of my friend. It was the most difficult thing ever.” Eris gulped, wringing her paw and her talons together.

“Continue.” Celestia said, her anger dissipating slightly.

“So I tried to change my self back into being a male and I discovered I couldn’t. I can’t use my magic at all. I’m stuck like this I think. I think my chaos powers caused all of this indirectly, trying to generate enough chaos in the world to create a good environment for draconequus breeding. Except, I think I am the last draconequus left in the world. I don’t know what is going on, but the arousal levels are going to keep increasing until I find something to breed with to satisfy my biological demands.”

Celestia closed her eyes and nodded.

“So everything on this planet has been gender swapped and made super horny so that maybe something will take interest and breed with you?” Pinkie Pie pondered aloud.

“I think so.” Eris whispered.

“If you found a suitable breeding partner and your estrus was satisfied, would all of this correct itself?” Celestia queried.

“I think it might.” Eris answered, cowering, afraid. “Please, I don’t want to be a statue again. I just want to have babies.” Eris clamped her paw over her mouth, her eyes wide in shock and surprise.

Celestia felt a genuine stab of pity, followed by concern. Breeding a draconequus was probably a terrible idea. One was bad enough.

“Discord… Eris, it is with terrible regret that I have made this decision, but the natural state of the world must be corrected. If breeding is what is required to fix this mess, then arrangements will be made and we shall accommodate you as best we can. I do not see a better way of restoring my subjects or the entire world. I am truly sorry for what I am about to do, but I must make sure that your breeding is successful and the world restored.” Celestia spread her wings dramatically and turned toward Twilight Sparkle. “Twilight?”

“Yes Celestia?” Twilight said, not able to look Celestia in the eye, still feeling more than a little inadequate.

“Secure a perimeter and make sure that Eris is successfully bred.” Celestia commanded.

“By who?” Twilight responded, panicking. “Not me I hope.”

“No.” Celestia replied. “Release the Flutterbeast.”

Twilight Sparkle tried to ignore the noises that she heard. The terrible terrible noises. Horrible noises. Her companions stood near, all looking equally horrified. Celestia stood unmoving, her face emotionless, not responding at all to the horrible atrocities taking place inside the used wagon lot office.

The Flutterbeast and Eris had been at it for over an hour, their screams filling the town.

Twilight tried her best to ignore the sounds, thinking about an appropriate journal entry to write down for this event. It wasn’t easy being a stallion. She had learned a great deal during this confusing time, and would be a little wiser once this was over.

After another hour or so, the screams began to die down. Twilight felt an odd sensation, and realised she was a mare again. She looked at Celestia, and she did not feel so inadequate any more when she did. Pinkie Pie had fallen over, and was congratulating her filly bits on their triumphant return, rubbing them and stroking them, and trying to make them promise to never leave again.

Rarity let out a ladylike sigh of relief, closing her eyes and looking grateful.

Applejack looked somewhat disappointed when she looked between her front legs and there was nothing peeking back at her.

Twilight noticed that Trixie still looked very attractive, and pondered briefly about gender and attraction.

“It is over.” Celestia sighed. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Oddly, I do not regret my decision to release the Flutterbeast upon Eris. It is, afterall, her responsibility to rehabilitate him, and this was simply looking after his needs. And her own.” Celestia paused. “My words are confusing, I think I lost track of genders there.”

Author's Note

More is coming... Well, the ending at least.

The Rule of Fives

“So, Twilight, what’s the deal? Why hasn’t Soarin’ turned back into stallion like everypony else?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking puzzled.

“I still don’t have an answer.” Twilight said, looking worried and a bit puzzled herself.

“It isn’t so bad.” Soarin’ said. “Dash and I are at least getting to have a bit of mare on mare fun. And that’s been nice. So I can’t complain too much.”

“Ugh.” Twilight groaned. “I didn’t want to know that.”

“You’re one to talk Twilight!” Rainbow retorted. “Or should I start calling you Mrs. Lulamoon?”

Twilight glared at Rainbow fiercely. “If anything, she would be Mrs. Sparkle.”

Rainbow rubbed her head with her hoof. “Sorry Twilight. I’m a little stressed. I was being a jerk.”

“Really, being a mare isn’t so bad. Less drag at high speed, if you know what I mean.” Soarin’ said, grinning wickedly.

“Yeah, actually I do know exactly what you mean Soarin’. Flying with… Well, you know, was tough. The wind tugs at it something awful.”

“You’re like the most understanding mare in the world.” Soarin’ said.

“I dunno Soarin’, I think after everything that has happened, both sexes are a lot more understanding of one another. I mean, look around you. The whole world is changing. Everypony is being a lot nicer to one another and trying to communicate their needs. Things are changing. This has been a good thing.” Rainbow Dash smiled. “Plus, you’re learning a lot about oral sex and what it takes to satisfy.”

Soarin’ blushed. “I never thought it was so complicated.”

“The world certainly has changed. At least Ponyville has. We are all a lot more aware of what sets us all off and the little things we do that drive one another crazy. And ponies are a lot more appreciative of one another.” Twilight Sparkle commented.

“Funny, but without meaning to, Discord made the world a better place. Who would have thought that would have happened? I mean, think about everything over the past month or so.” Rainbow said.

“Cadance, I’m still a mare.” Shining whined. “Why am I still a mare? And I think I am dying.” Shining lamented.

Cadance cradled her husband close, snuggling him on the couch. “I don’t know what is wrong Shiny, but I have contacted Twilight. There are still a number of stallions who are stuck as mares."

“Cadance, I am so needy. All my emotions are so weird. How do you live like this? I am either ridiculously happy or on the verge of crying. And I can’t stop craving chocolate.” Shining said. “Do you still find me attractive?”

Cadance sighed.

“You don’t, do you, I knew it!” Shining Armor’s eyes began to tear over.

Cadance sighed again. Was she really this frustrating? At times, Cadance supposed, she was. She stared at Shining for several minutes before kissing him silently on the nose as he sniffled.

“My teats are sore and I keep cramping down there! This is unbearable!” Shining whined. “And my bladder is so small. I keep having to pee every five minutes. And I used to fuss at you for the same problem and now I am doing it myself and I have been such a horrible husband.” Shining Armor began to sob, tears streaming from his eyes, leaving dark wet drops on the couch. Shining Armor burst from the couch and ran into the bathroom, his hooves clopping on the floor.

Cadance heard the sound of Shining Armor losing his breakfast and felt a pang of worry. She hoped that Twilight would figure out what was wrong soon.

It wasn’t so bad having Shining Armor as a mare, Cadance reflected. He was a lot cuddlier now. He needed snuggle time just as much as she did, to be held, stroked, cuddled, and appreciated. And they spent a lot of time doing that now. It was pleasant. He had tried to be attentive before, and he was, as far as husbands went, he was pretty good, but Shining Armor understood now, and that made a difference. Mares had needs, and Shining Armor was getting to experience first hand just what those needs were.

Cadance had also learned that stallions had needs. She had made a silent vow to herself to always, always think back upon the day she was a stallion and what it had felt like. How badly her needs caused her to ache. How difficult it was to concentrate. How irresistible Shining Armor was and how much self control she had to exert later on when they had finally ventured out of their bedchambers. Shining Armor clearly had more self control than she did, and she knew that now. And she felt a great deal of appreciation for his constant gentle care and patience. He had certainly treated her better than she had treated him. The whole situation had left Cadance a little shaken in her confidence, a little confused, and more than a little ashamed. As the Goddess of Love, she had learned a couple of very valuable lessons. She had placed her own need to be satisfied ahead of Shining Armor’s needs, something she swore she would never do again.

“What?”

It was a question and a demand.

“What do you mean I am pregnant?” Windburn said.

“Just what I said.” Replied the doctor. “You are with foal.”

“But I am a stallion.” Windburn retorted with a snort.

“Maybe at one time, but right now, you are a mare.” The doctor replied.

“I don’t understand.” Windburn said.

“How do you want me to explain it? Didn’t your parents teach you about these things?” The doctor said impatiently.

There was a strangled gasp from the third pony in the room.

“So you are telling me that a foal is going to come squirting out of my plot?” Windburn asked.

“In about ten months or so, yes.” The doctor replied.

“I am going to be a father?!”

The doctor nodded.

“And I am going to be a mother…” Windburn said, shaking his head.

“I am going to be a father…” Celestia repeated.

The doctor looked annoyed. “Look, what went on between you two was your business, but this is what happens sometimes when two ponies go cavorting not so innocently and making the beast with six legs or two backs.”

“Oh by the sun! Luna cavorted with her guard!” Celestia screamed.

Zecora eyed her new housemate, who was eyeing her back over a cup of tea. Iron Will was still a cow… And it was the cause of much concern for both of them. They had become quite close. Iron Will was shockingly different now that Zecora had rode the bucking bull and tamed him. She… He… Zecora couldn’t tell any more… was really rather quiet, shy, and well mannered. Excellent company really.

They sat, drinking tea and eating oatmeal together. As it turned out, they both loved blueberries in their oatmeal, one of the many things they had in common.

“Finish up, it is time to screw… Hop in my bed, and I’ll make you moo.” Zecora rhymed teasingly, taking a bite of oatmeal.

Iron Will downed his tea in a long swallow and licked his lips.

“If a pony wants to make you shiver, than their promise they must deliver.” Iron Will said demurely.

“I woke up in the mood for beef… But I must ask that you do not queef.” Zecora tittered coquettishly, her eyes gleaming wickedly.

Iron Will blushed. “If a pony makes you blush, you must tell them they need to hush!”

Zecora smiled and took the last bite of her oatmeal.

“Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight struggled to open her eyes. Trixie stood by the bed, looking mildly panicked.

“What Trixie?” Twilight mumbled.

“Trixie has been a very naughty filly and may require some detention.” Trixie said in a low voice.

“Trixie, is the sun up yet?” Twilight asked. “No detention until the sun is up. And I’ve had coffee. And you fix me breakfast.”

“No Twilight… Trixie is in trouble!” Trixie murmured, now in a near panic.

“Trixie, I decide when you are in trouble. Now come to bed.” Twilight begged. “It’s cold without you. And I like waking up next to blue things.”

“Twilight Sparkle, Trixie Lulamoon is with foal.” Trixie said hesitantly.

“Oh.” Twilight said, nearly dozing off.

“OH WHAT THE HELLO?” Twilight said, sitting up, her eyes flying wide open. “TRIXIE HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? WE ARE BOTH MARES!”

“Except that one time.” Trixie said. “You know… Where you made Trixie write that Trixie was a bad filly on the chalkboard and paddled me for using the third pony with a yardstick.” Trixie fanned herself with her hoof, flushing, nearly turning purple, her red blush mixing with her blue pelt. Trixie crawled into bed with Twilight Sparkle and cuddled close to her, pushing her down upon the bed, and covering them both up with a blanket.

“Trixie is a little worried.” Trixie confessed.

Twilight pulled Trixie close and comforted her. “I’ll go easy on you in detention.” Twilight promised, burying her face into something blue. It was nice cuddling a pony and not feeling like there was a whiskey bottle trapped between you.

“Trixie peed on a stick and was very, very surprised. And I am the Pregnant and Foal Bearing Trixie. And I feel very, very confused.” Trixie whispered.

“Discord… Eris… made a mess. Trixie, we’re all confused. I fell in lust with you as a stallion and now I love you as a mare. And everything is all weird and I don’t know how to tell Rainbow Dash and Soarin’ that Soarin’ is going to have a foal and nothing in the world makes sense right now.” Twilight said, her voice tickling Trixie and causing her to squirm.

“You love me?” Trixie said, her tone surprised.

“I suppose I do. I’ll love you more if you let me go back to sleep for a few hours.” Twilight yawned, stretching out her jaw.

“Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie asked.

“What?” Twilight groaned.

“After Trixie has your foal, can you make Trixie a stallion so you can have Trixie’s foal?” Trixie inquired in a small faint voice.

“If you promise to let me go back to sleep, then yes.” Twilight grumbled.

“Sleep then Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie cooed softly.

Discord strolled through town, walking on his hind legs, enjoying the sun and whistling to himself as he went. It was great to be back to normal. He was back in his body again. He strolled, his tail swishing from side to side, carrying thirteen rainbow coloured roses under one foreleg and a package tied with a big bow under the other.

Discord strutted.

It was good to be back.

Ponies stopped and waved at him hesitantly. Discord smiled back, grinning broadly. He strutted and whistled, shaking his hips in an odd feminine fashion as he walked, a trait left over from his time trapped as Eris. But now, he was Discord.

Eventually, he reached his destination, and knocked upon the door.

“Who is it?” A quiet voice called out.

“Discord.” Discord replied.

The door opened and Fluttershy peered out, looking scared and nervous. “I’m so so sorry for what I did, please forgive me, I feel so awful.”

“My dearest Fluttershy, I forgave you the other day, and the day before that, and then many, many times before.”

“But I can’t live with what I’ve done. It is so embarrassing.” Fluttershy squealed. “And I hate that I enjoyed it so much.” Fluttershy paused and looked at him. “You’re normal!”

“Yeah I am!” Discord chuckled. “Can I come in?”

“Do you feel safe coming in? I’m a monster…” Fluttershy whispered.

Discord pushed his way in, pausing once to kiss Fluttershy lightly upon her head, causing her to squeak in protest. “These are for you.” Discord said, placing the rainbow roses into a vase and conjuring up some water.

“Oh… Thank you. I don’t deserve those.” Fluttershy protested.

“And this is also for you.” Discord said, holding out the package wrapped in silver paper and tied with a large bow.

“Oh no, Discord, I couldn’t accept it. It wouldn’t be proper, not after what I did.” Fluttershy cried.

“I must insist.” Discord said solemnly, all traces of humour now gone.

“Okay.” Fluttershy squeaked.

She sat down upon her haunches and pulled the box close. It was heavy. She carefully pulled the ribbon, untying the bow, and carefully placed the ribbon on the floor next to her. She pressed a hoof to the lid, pausing as she did so, and looked up at Discord. “Whatever this is, I don’t deserve it. What I did was awful, just awful.”

“Open it.” Discord said gently, now smiling faintly.

Fluttershy lifted the lid off of the box and looked in. She gasped, her breath panicking and fleeing from her lungs, leaving her breathless and unable to squeak.

Inside the box were five eggs.

“Surprise!” Shouted Discord. “I made them myself! Well, I had your help, but look what we did!”

Fluttershy fainted dead away, leaving Discord to stand there cackling all by himself.

The end. For now. Maybe.

Author's Note

I am considering a sequel, but I am not sure which couple.

I might even do a couple of one offs between the other couples.

Anyway, it is over. Let's throw a party or something. Have fun everypony. Let's all sit back, make jokes, and have a few yucks.

Chapter 3

“This is all so very unseemly.” Rarity whined. “It keeps slapping up and down against my belly as we walk. This isn’t very ladylike.”

Twilight scowled.

“And there are little dribbles of some kind of sticky goo as it slaps up against me. I can feel my pelt becoming soiled and icky.” Rarity cried, her voice now hitching from her state of panic. “And mares. Mares all around me. I can smell them!”

“Rarity, please! We’re all having this problem!” Twilight Sparkle snapped.

“My belly hairs are so soft.” Pinkie Pie commented, squirming, causing herself to rub certain parts of her anatomy together.

“Pinkie Pie, stop arming your party cannon!” Twilight Sparkle commanded.

“This cannot possibly be what stallions go through every day. They make it look so easy.” Rarity whined, her words grating on the last nerve Twilight had left.

“Is it wrong that I can’t stop thinkin’ about my brother’s teats?” Applejack inquired.

“Yeah Applejack, that’s uh, not good.” Twilight said. “Perhaps now is not the time to be honest.”

“Just so big and bouncy. Like two plump dangling apples…”

“UUUUUUUUUUUUGH!” Twilight Sparkle grunted.

“We’re close now, I can hear the screams.” Rarity said, fear edging into her voice. The group rounded the corner and into the marketplace, meaty slapping sounds coming from beneath them as they trotted along, Rarity on the verge of hyperventilating.

Before them lay bedlam. Fluttershy stood close to a stall, a mare backed into the corner cowering from her.

“That’s the jerk that cheated Fluttershy on tomato prices!” Rarity warned.

“Lookin’ like he’s about to go into the cherry business.” Applejack drawled.

“Applejack!” Twilight protested.

“Just sayin’!” Applejack replied.

“Oh, I can’t watch!” Pinkie Pie said. “Not without touching my party cannon.”

Two parts of Twilight Sparkle’s anatomy throbbed in unison. “Hold it together girls. We don’t want to see any pony get hurt.”

Twilight’s companions nodded.

“Applejack, go get her.” Twilight urged.

Applejack rushed forward with her lasso, roping the frisky yellow pegasus. The tomato seller took the opportunity to run. Applejack began to run around in a circle, tangling Fluttershy up in the rope, coiling it around her legs.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t help it!” Fluttershy cried. “But I have needs!” She kicked outward, snapping the rope into several shorter pieces. Applejack looked on in horror as Fluttershy took to the air and flew away. Fluttershy had broken the rope as though it was twine.

A brown mare emerged from behind a stall. “Is he gone?” She asked.

“You’re safe.” Pinkie chirped.

The brown mare eyed them warily. “This regeneration has gone not as planned. I don’t remember dying.” Twilight Sparkle felt even more confusion.

“Time Turner?” Twilight asked.

The mare nodded.

“Do you know anything?” Twilight queried.

“No. I am just as confused as you.” Time Turner said. “But something is clearly wrong. I need to get back to my clock shop.” The brown mare departed, cautiously working her way down the lane.

Dinky Doo Hooves trotted down the road, making her way to the library. She had heard other foals were there, Rumble and the Crusaders. The whole town had gone mad. And something was terribly wrong with Dinky. She was still cute, still adorable, but there was something wrong. She hoped that Twilight could fix whatever it was that was wrong.

And there was something wrong. So terribly wrong. Dinky had sprouted another horn. And mommy had flown out the window, muttering strangely and shaking badly. Twilight was a good pony and Dinky knew she could trust Twilight for help.

Shining Armor awoke, yawning, and stretching out. He froze. Something seemed wrong. Cadance was pressed against his back. She was breathing heavily. And there was something, something pressing up against him, it started off with a soft pillowy something down near his dock and something long and hard that traveled halfway up his back. He felt a cold prickle of fear travel through his body.

And there was something missing. Something missing from his own body. Something vitally important. He swallowed a few times.

“Ooh Shiny… I like hearing you swallow.” Cadance said in husky tones. “Shiny, honey bee, I have a problem.” Shining felt a cold chill flash through his new anatomy.

“I have those problems too. Had…” Shining Armor trailed off. “And you always told me to go take a cold shower or learn how to control myself. You said there was too much to do in the mornings.”

Cadance’s breathing became heavier. “I was a fool Shining. I didn’t understand. I was wrong.”

Shining felt Cadance’s hips flex, and something rubbed along his back. “Mornings Cadance!” Shining squeaked, “Think of the morning schedule!”

“Oh, I am. I need to schedule a little personal time with you.” Cadance cooed. “And right now, I want to wear you like a sock.”

“Cadance! You are not yourself!” Shining said.

“Oh but I am Shiny. I am the Goddess of Love. And I have needs. Love me Shiny.” Cadance pleaded. “I’ll be tender and gentle, I promise.”

Shining Armor could feel Cadance’s heavy breathing on his ears. Suddenly, he was very, very aroused himself. “Cadance, are you using your magic on me?”

“No.” Cadance purred. “And while I am very concerned about what is going wrong, I have other, more pressing needs.” To illustrate her point, Cadance pressed her need up against Shining and rubbed him a few times.

Shining started to roll over, but Cadance stopped him. “No Shiny, like this. From behind. All lovey spoony.” Cadance whispered in velvet tones. Shining felt two legs pull him close.

Shining Armor began to titter nervously like a school filly as Cadance pressed her nose into his neck, pressing little kisses along the sides of his mane, planting little nips behind his ears.

“You busted my filly ribbon and now, turnabout is fair play.” Cadance growled, pulling even tighter, her movements now becoming jerky and frantic.

Twilight Sparkle pushed her way into the hardware store, looking around. “We need chains.” Twilight said, looking at the back wall. “Those chains. Used for securing wagons and plows.”

Applejack nodded.

“Are you sure this is necessary?” Rarity inquired. “Seems cruel to chain up Fluttershy.”

“And kinda kinky.” Pinkie Pie added.

“She broke the rope.” Twilight Sparkle reasoned.

“That she did.” Rarity replied. “I can’t believe sweet innocent Fluttershy is behaving this way.” Rarity paused, thinking about her words. “Wait, I can. I know her better than anypony. Twilight, dear, we must hurry.”

“Fluttershy doesn’t always deal with pressure very well. I can’t imagine what this is doing to her.” Applejack said. “I can’t believe what this is doing to me right now. I could plow a field with this thing.”

“I don’t know how stallions manage to leave the house.” Pinkie said. “Or how they make these things behave. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe when I turn back into a mare. Every mare I meet smells so good. Like fresh baked goods.”

“If you ever turn back into a mare.” Twilight deadpanned.

“No!” Pinkie cried. “I like being a mare. The party cannon is fun, but it is big and dangly and gets in the way. My filly bits were much more convenient.”

“It is really awful. All covered in veins and stretched out looking skin. And it points at everything. ‘Tis rude to point!” Rarity complained.

Twilight hefted the chains and padlocks in her magic, carefully coiling them around, making sure they didn’t tangle, so they would be ready to use at a moment’s notice.

“I feel like I would feel so much better if I could just jam this thing inside of something and make the tension go away. I saw a watermelon in the market. A watermelon I tells ya, and I all I could think about was jamming this thing inside of it.” Applejack confessed.

Pinkie Pie bit her lip and nodded. “I saw the same watermelon.”

“Just imagine that watermelon between the two of us. I’d thrust forward, and then you’d thrust it back at me…”

“APPLEJACK!” Twilight shouted. “Focus!”

“I can’t Twi. I have me a powerful need.” Applejack groaned. “I feel backed up. Like I have to go drop a load of horseapples. I ain’t gonna survive this.”

“Somehow stallions manage to make it through each day!” Twilight snapped.

“But I ain’t a stallion! I ain’t had a lifetime of learnin’ how to hold back. This is torture Twi’, torture! And I don’t know how much more I can take. I ain’t ever gonna take my brother for granted over again.”

“Soarin’?” Rainbow pleaded. “Let me in! I promise I just want to talk! I want to come inside Soarin’!”

“No!” Soarin’ said on the other side of the door.

Rainbow Dash sat dejectedly on the stoop of Soarin’s cloud home. “Soarin’, please, I made a mistake. I just want to talk.”

‘I’m listening.” Soarin’ said.

Rainbow sighed. “I think I understand you position a little bit better now Soarin’.”

“I doubt it.” Soarin’ replied.

“No, really, I do. Playing hard to get must have been torture to you. I have a big problem Soarin’.” Rainbow confided.

“How big?” Soarin’ said distractedly. “Wait, never mind. You took every chance you could to lead me on and then leave me hanging.”

“Well, now, you’re a mare. Do you have any perspectives from my point of view?” Rainbow said.

“No.” Soarin’ replied.

“There is fine fine line you have to walk.” Rainbow explained. “You can’t be too eager.”

“Well good, no reason to let you in then.” Soarin’ answered.

“Look Soarin’, I am afraid of being tied down. I don’t know which way I swing yet. I like you. I really do. But I also like mares I think.” Rainbow said, slumping up against the archway.

There was a click from the door. Rainbow stared at the door, blinking.

“Since you are being honest, come in, we’ll talk.” Soarin’ said from the other side of the door.

Rainbow pushed the door open and went inside.

“I must restrain this urge to stroke, did I step in poison joke?”

Zecora was not having a good morning. Something was very, very wrong.

“I cannot believe I am so sprung, for a stallion I am quite well hung.”

Zecora dared a second look, peeking down between her front legs. Something peeked back at her.

“By the sun up in the sky, something is peeking with one little eye!”

She pranced in a circle around the inside of her hut.

She stared at her front door. “I am compelled to go off and rut. I must find a mare and bust a nut.” Zecora said, setting off for Ponyville.

All around her in the Everfree, Zecora could sense something was horribly wrong.

“This could be a world ender. Something has swapped every gender!”

“Snips?”

“Yeah Snails?”

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

“Don’t ask me that Snips!”

“Are we Sugar and Spice now?”

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!”

Trixie Lulamoon surveyed Ponyville. She had arrived last night. She had awoke in her wagon this morning and discovered something different. Something very different.

The whole town was different.

Trixie was out strutting her stuff, a firm believer in “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

Trixie felt a rush of adrenaline when she saw a certain lavender alicorn approaching.

“The Great and Well Endowed Trixie says hello Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie crowed.

Twilight stood frozen, flabbergasted.

“Trixie, nopony likes a show off.” Applejack gulped.

“Does Trixie’s magic wand frighten you?!” Trixie exclaimed.

“A little.” Applejack said honestly.

“Mwahahahahah!” Trixie cackled.

“Oh shut up Trixie Lulamoon!” Rarity snapped, “We have bigger problems to deal with.”

“Bigger than Trixie?” Trixie said in disbelief.

“Yes.” Twilight said, feeling somewhat insecure.

“Trixie is feeling generous. Trixie will help you.” Trixie looked incredibly smug.

“Actually, I think we could use your help Trixie. We have to go chain up Fluttershy. She’s rampaging through the town, scaring the mares. I hope she hasn’t caught anypony yet.” Twilight said.

“Chain up Fluttershy?” Trixie stammered. “The shy harmless butterfly plot pony?”

“Yeah, that one. Something is wrong.” Twilight said. “Still have that rope spell? Can you use a chain?”

Trixie nodded.

“Good. Thank you Trixie.” Twilight said.

“You… er, uh, you are welcome Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie said, now somewhat confused.

“I have a plan. But I need the bravest, strongest, most bestest pony ever.” Twilight said.

“Trixie is here!” Trixie boasted.

“Good! I am going to turn you back into a mare if I can, or at least make you look like and smell like a mare if turning you doesn’t work. And then I am going to use you as bait.”

“Wait, Trixie is unsure of this course of action.”

“I’m sorry, I thought I was dealing with a great and powerful pony. I’ll guess I’ll keep looking.” Twilight sighed, disappointed.

“Wait, Trixie can do this!” Trixie cried.

“All hail the great and powerful Trixie.” Twilight said in cunning tones.

Author's Note

I am going to pony hell... And you are all coming with me.