PJ's Adventures in Equestria

"I just don't see why she feels the need to target me when I've done nothing wrong," my mum said for the thousandth time since this entire little family war we're having started. I could have sworn that if she got on any less with my brother's fiancée then what little of the family we have left that likes us would stay away out of fear that she wouldn't shut up.

I should probably introduce myself, I am Paul. My friends call me PJ as my middle name is James; I don't feel at liberty to reveal my last name. This complaining wreck sat in front of me is my mother who is bitching about my brother's 'girlfriend' as she calls her, she claims that they won't last long enough to get married but I don't know. The guy's dedicated enough to put up with her for almost two years now.

"Mum, at this stage I'm beyond caring," I told her "If you keep going on about her then you're giving her exactly what she wants. Attention." After all, it was mum who kept moaning about her comments on Facebook by taking it to Facebook. She claims that because she doesn't call her by name then she can't possibly be berated for keeping it going but in all honest she doesn't exactly try to hide it.

Mum huffs and then carries on "I just can't see why she keeps bugging me about things I haven't done..."

This is around the point where I got up and went to the toilet, I walked up the stairs of our house and into the bathroom directly at the top, I didn't need to go or anything but I did need to get away from hearing the same comments over and over.

When I got in there and locked the door I looked at myself in the mirror, I am not that tall, being at around five and a half feet. I have short-cut black hair and fcuk brand glasses over my bright blue eyes. I sigh loudly as I look down at my stomach, you see I have this eating problem, it just seems that I eat everything I come into contact with and because of that I am slightly overweight. I often surprise myself that I am not the size of a house.

As I'm sure you can tell by now my family is in a state of disrepair, you see my brother is currently living with his girlfriend who is in plain words, a bitch. I can say I share my mums opinion of her but at the same time I get irritated at her because she can't see when she should just drop something and move on. Yes his girlfriend's an attention seeker, yes she makes up bullshit so that she can take pot-shots at people she doesn't like but that doesn't mean you should give her a reason to get you into trouble. In my opinion they are all as bad as each other.

It doesn't help that my brothers seem to encourage the matter, the one directly involved chooses to either stay out of it or give my mum hints that basically scream 'fuck off' so that this just ends quickly and with minimal pain for the people involved. My other two brothers on the other hand take mums side and basically shout abuse about this girl twenty-four-seven and to once again be honest; it's starting to piss me off how no one can just agree not to speak to each other.

I've contemplated running away but that gets shot down instantly with the fact that I'm fifteen and have no real skills, not to mention very limited knowledge of how to survive as a homeless. So yeah, pretty fucked eh?

I exit the bathroom once I've cooled down enough but I'm still not willing to listen to more of mum's shit so I grab my coat and head out the front door, calling back "I'm going for a walk" and then shutting the door behind me as I leave.

I don't know that many places around where I live due to limited exercise so I just chose to take a walk around the nearby lake, the sun was out so a teenager with a casual black t-shirt and grey trousers wouldn't make people wonder about me. Which is good, I hate it when people worry.

Twilight Sparkle's horn was lighting up the library as Spike watched with massive amounts of boredom. "Why are we doing this again?" the little dragon asked.

"There have been random energy readings popping up all over Equestria Spike, the energy Princess Celestia described sounded much like teleportation magic which begs the question. Why has nothing shown up?" Twilight replied to her number one assisstant, she gave wings a stretch and went back to concentrating.

Spike didn't really need to hear it again, he was just getting bored. Twilight was trying to pinpoint another magical energy reading similar to the ones picked up earlier in the month so that she could see what it was.

I walked towards the lake, despite the nice weather I had not seen anyone else out which was understandable considering it was about five in the afternoon. I preferred it like that though, I didn't get on very well with people and always felt awkward when in the presence of a lot of strangers even if I wasn't expected to interact with them. Still though, it felt that it was too rare an opportunity to miss in England.

I went back to thinking about my family, how had it all gone to shit so quickly? I still didn't understand how one person could cause this much trouble but it wasn't the time to worry about that now, I had to just enjoy the day...

...which was proven impossible when I saw a swirling vortex appear in front of me and I was too busy walking to react to its presence until I had walked directly into it and the next thing I knew I was eating grass.

"Got it!" Twilight shouted in excitement. "Come on Spike, I'll teleport us to its location"

The small purple dragon walked over to her thinking about what he would do when they found nothing. Within seconds Twilight's horn began to glow and they both vanished from the library in a flash.

They reappeared in a small clearing inside a forest, the Everfree Forest to be exact. While this should have scared them Twilight was slightly more preoccupied with the hairless, ape-like creature that lay on the floor before them.

I heard a rather young sounding male voice say "What the heck is that thing?" rather loudly and my first instinct was that some large animal had made its home at the lake.

"I don't know Spike," a female voice sounded "but it looks like it might be dangerous"

I coughed out some of the grass that had made its home in my mouth and looked up, what I saw baffled be into almost insanity in a second. Stood before me was a small horse-like creature with a lavender coat and a purple mane with a pink highlight in it,  the other being was a small purple lizard-like creature with green spikes on its back. I assumed this was 'Spike' and that these were the two that were talking to me.

I stood up, said "Holy shit," whilst laughing hysterically and then passed out.