Interlude: One of those days...

Interlude: One of those days...

Okay, before I begin, please take note of the fact I haven't had my coffee yet as I'm writing this, so apologies if my usual cheerfulness in not present in my account.

You know the kind of situation in life you just can’t stand? You know, the ones where your starting off, having a nice day, then your life gets so incredibly messed up that you wish you had never been born? Yeah, today was one of those days, and I even regret getting up this morning in the first place!

It was a Saturday morning in Dream Castle, and I was lying in bed, and reading the latest  collection of fairy tales Megan had brought over from the human world for me. Beside me hubby was still asleep (I let the big lug  sleep in on the weekends- yeah, your welcome Tornado!), and Ember was busy watching Saturday morning cartoons. I had about an hour to kill before my laundry was done, so I decided to catch up on my reading.

Now, this was a day I had gone out of my way to set aside for myself. So there I was, just getting to the good part with the prince and princess, when there was a bright flash of light in the room.

"What the?!? Where am I?" I called out, as I found myself in a serious void of nothing. As the light slowly faded, however, I slowly found myself standing on a translucent runway, with a glittery sky of stars around me. Floating over my head were looked like a series of TV screens, all floating in midair, all displaying what I think were different experiences from during my life. (Speaking of which, most of those images remind me of how boring my life has been.... damn I want my teen years back, I feel gypped!)

"Oh great, this is what I get for drinking that old cider that was past it's expiration date last night." I grumble.

Anyway, there's another flash of light, and a purple alicorn with a crown appears. The over sized purple mare smiles at me, and begins her annoying spiel.

"Hello, my brave little pony." The mare begins, in an annoyingly sweet voice. "I am so pleased to see that my descendant is finally ready for this very special day."

Oh great, Twilight Sparkle. The little perfect bookworm of the family we all have trouble living up to the legacy of. She's probably here to deliver some dire prophecy, or to give me some new magical ability.*sigh* Why can't dead relatives ever show up after lunch?!?

"All right, let's get this over with then." I grumble, shaking out my still messy mane. "What is it this time, a monster threatening Ponyland? An evil warlord. Honestly,  that seems to happen every week around here!"

"But... but I..." Great great grandma seems stunned, like she didn't expect that kind of response from me, I guess menopause really does dull a mare's senses. "I came here to give you the gift... of alicorndom!" Her ears drooped. "Y-you've earned it, after all you've done for ponykind!"

"Oh, really? And here I thought you had come to find out where Firefly keeps her porn stash!" I say in a mocking tone. "Look grandma, I'm about as interested in a pair of wings as I am in a hole in my head. So why don't you just fly you're sagging old flank back up to those pearly gates, so I can have my coffee?"

"W-wait this is the ultimate gift of pony enlightenment I am offering you here!" My annoying ancestor protested, obviously still shocked I'm turning down this 'great honor'. "You're the fairy tale pony of dreams and wishes! Haven't you always wanted to be a princess?!"

"Look grandma, did you see that stallion back there in hat cozy bed you zapped me away from?" I growl at her, my patience wearing to it's absolute thinnest. "He's already told me, time and again, that I am HIS princess already! So I really don't need your silly little pony upgrade to be special, thank you very much!"

"Hmph, looks like you're not yet ready to receive the gift I was going to bestow on you!" She snorts indignantly, as she and the cosmic background fade away. "Perhaps you will be a little more humble and grateful the next time I appear before you! Farewell!"

There is another flash of light, and I'm back in bed with snoring hubby again. Putting my fairy tale book over on the nightstand, I roll over and pull the covers up over my head, snuggling up to the big blue lug to keep warm during this cold September weather. Good grief, why do annoying relatives always have to visit during this time of the month!?! &$&$#@!