Motherhood, Mayhem and the Mane-iac's Return

“Does something about this seem... wrong?” Matter-horn asked. She was with the other Power Ponies in the nursery area, having some shared playtime with their foals. She had asked the question while looking to Mane-iac, who was cooing and nuzzling down at her giggling daughter.

“It certainly does seem to be... unusual,” Radiance said. She was lightly bouncing her pegasus colt in an elegant energy construct harness, while Diamond Dong, back in his robes, looked on while stroking Radiance's back.

“Come on, somepony say it! This is all your fault, you crazy mutant!” Zapp shouted, pointing at Mane-iac. Her own little earth filly laughed as her mother yelled, while all the other foals started crying.

Saddle Rager started to huff and snarl, a leg curling protectively around her unicorn filly. “You don't yell around babies...” she growled. Iron Willie's gentle stroke made her blink. She looked around at all the crying foals, took a deep breath and regained her composure.

“Saddle's right. Ya don't yell 'round yong'uns,” Mare-velous said, turning her head for a moment to coo to her gold-toned mule filly. The small child was being lovingly cradled by Jo. “But ah gotta be honest, Zapp ain't wrong. Matter-horn either. It's really all on her head and this is powerful odd.”

“Well, is that what you really think? Well, I could easily say that this...” Mane-iac held up her daughter, who was being bounced softly to stop her crying, “Was his fault,” and she pointed down to Hum Drum, who looked a little sheepish. “But she is not a 'fault' or a consequence. She's Sassy Soon and she's my daughter. And here I thought you power ponies embodied love and care. I guess you're really just horrible parents who hate your children, and think of them as as burdens.”

Zapp snarled loudly, and pulled her daughter closer against her chest. She kissed the giggling filly and whispered, “Don't you believe it, kid. I'm proud of you. Really glad to know ya.”

“As unusual as it may be to say, I believe our resident miscreant is correct,” Radiance said, leaning in to nuzzle at her colt, shushing him softly.

“Yeah, Zapp. Our little foals are just sweet as candy,” Fili-second said. She gave her fluffy-maned little pegasus a sniff and zipped quickly to the changing table. Even with super speed the process lasted long enough to bring a rather disgusted look to her face and a scrunch to her snout. “They don't smell like candy but still...”

“Don't rightly matter much how they got here. Point is they're here now. And we're pleased as pomade they're here,” Mare-velous said, leaning her head against Jo's, both of them comforting the sniffling mule he was holding.

Mane-iac gave a superior little sniff and settled Sassy down in Hum Drum's arms. “I suppose there are things you can learn from, what was it? A 'crazy mutant.'”

“Don't talk about her like that, Zapp! She's doing great in therapy, and she loves Sassy as much as I do, and she's been...” Hum Drum trailed off, his cheeks growing dark. He turned all his focus to his daughter and tickled under her scaled chin.

Zapp rolled her eyes and gave her daughter a quick bounce. “Whatever. Just keep her occupied. Keep boning her or... letting her pee on you or whatever gets you two off...”

“That's enough-a that, missy,” Mare-velous said, mentally commanding her lasso to wrap around Zapp's snout. “Ah'm not sure ah thought ah'd say this but, sorry there, Miss Mane-iac.”

“It's perfectly understandable. Perversion is part and parcel with villainy, or so it seems. We just aren't afraid to admit it,” Mane-iac said, with a continued air of smug superiority. “But rest assured, I'm keeping up with the program, refraining from villainy, larceny, profligacy, misappropriation, barratry, bribery, outside licentiousness, and general mayhem.”

The Power Ponies looked with some amazed confusion on Mane-iac. “That... was an impressive declaration,” Matter-horn said. “From where did you matriculate?”

“The Maretropolis School of Barbering, Cosmetology, and Aesthetic Dermatology. I'm licensed for manes, tails, non-flight feathers, non-magical horns and the chemical treatment of the same. I'm not an egghead. That's on my parole agreement, and they made me memorize it before I got out,” Mane-iac said.

“Yes, that's right. You were once a highly respected stylist,” Radiance said, stroking her chin. “As long as you are living here perhaps you could tend to our styling needs.”

“You don't want me doing it. My hooves are like clubs now. I've lost my ability to use them well thanks to my tendrils. But it's no matter. I could direct you in a few techniques. Your attachment to the advancement of beauty means you likely have the dedication and aptitude,” Mane-iac said to Radiance.

“Oh how delightful!” Radiance chirped with a large smile. She paused after a moment and blinked a few times. “Well now... I would say let us never speak of this again but I need to arrange some period of tutelage.”

“Ah gotta be honest... ya seem alright. We don't pull no words out in the country, and ya see like a good mother, and a good sport. Ya ain't so bad. And yer a real good lass ta be so good ta Hum Drum. We're all kindly, of course but... heh, well, we all had our reasons ta not get as close as ya did,” Mare-velous said with a soft chuckle and a soft nuzzle up at Jo.

“I admit, I was bitter. Exceptionally bitter. I had been humiliated, twice. Pushed into prison, bloated and impregnated, utterly defeated, shamed. I had my child in prison, and went to an asylum...” Mane-iac seethed, before taking a calming breath and sighing. “But therapy has helped me to make peace with it. I'm still upset. But I love Sassy. She's about the best thing in my life since the accident. And he loves her too. So he's alright by me.”

Hum Drum puffed his chest out proudly and tickled Sassy's belly, making her laugh softly. “Yup! She's my little girl. And this is my big girl.” He placed a hand on Mane-iac's flank and smiled up at her. She initially rolled her eyes, but put a smile on her face and leaned down to kiss him.

“Leastways, ya got somebody there ta help ya, that wants ta get involved. Ah'm thankin' the princesses every day Jo stayed 'round, even after he saw me all swoled up with a bun in the oven,” Mare-velous said with a smile.

“Shoot, ain't right ta just up and leave a gal ya been pinin' after yer whole life, no matter how pregnant she might be. Ah'd been hopin' ah might see her again after she turned inta a big shot. Now... well, the weddin' speaks fer itself,” Jo said with a bit of pride.

“All of your minions are still incarcerated, but even if they weren't we'd have no use for them. Sires they might have been but they couldn't, in any sense, be 'fathers' like Hum Drum or Jo,” Matter-horn noted.

“While it is not strictly necessary to have a partner to successfully raise a child, there is much to recommend it when the option is available,” Radiance cooed, working her body a little closer to Diamond's form.

“It's certainly better than peacekeeping or mopping up at the end of a conflict,” Diamond said, tentatively stroking the colt in Radiance's hold, getting a smile and coo for his trouble.

“This is how you respect the beauty and purity that is life. You help what's living to grow big and strong,” Iron said, patting Saddle's little filly on the belly and heartily chuckling when she let out a burp.

“Ugh. Why don't we pull out some dolls, a tea set and start braiding each others' manes? When did this turn into a sleepover? Even the guys could probably wear frilly dresses,” Zapp groaned, nuzzling down at her daughter.

“This is a playgroup and fellowshipping session. Cordial and convivial conversation is a natural part of that,” Matter-horn noted.

“We can fellowship with awesomeness, ain't that right, muscles?” Zapp asked to Iron. “I'll bet you got all 'cordelia' and 'conbibulous' with other guys by beating their heads in.”

“Heh, well I...” Iron shook his head and looked around shiftily. “I did some, uh, bar brawling. But, that wasn't very friendly. Diamond and I, we talk about stuff over a few drinks.” Saddle looked up at Iron, and slowly shook her head.

“Well, come on... why don't we do something more interesting? Let's have a strong foal competition!” Zap suggested.

“But... wouldn't Matter-horn's foal win that? Or Mare-velous'?” Fili asked of Zapp.

“What? No way! Madeline is way stronger than either of them! I'll bet she could bench all of us,” Zapp asserted strongly.

“I'm not getting into this pointless contest with you. It is meaningless how strong a foal is at this stage in development... and no real contest. Bright has more robust muscle attachments and they are grouped for lifting capacity rather than for speed like your Madeline. You're strong and quick but that doesn't translate to lifting,” Matter-horn said with a small huff.

“Oh really? Is that what you think? Well then put your foal where your mouth his. Madeline will wipe the floor with Bright!” Zapp asserted strongly.

“Thanks fer not puttin' Honeysuckle in the middle of this,” Jo whispered to Mare-velous.

“Them two'll butt heads fer a bit, make some noise and nothin'll come of it. Ain't no sense in botherin' Honeysuckle with that nonsense. Besides, ah don't wanna hurt their feelins by havin' her make 'em both look bad,” Mare-velous whispered back to Jo with a small, smug grin on her face.

“Why won't you tell anyone about... you?” Saddle quietly asked Iron.

“That's a lot to explain. Besides, my reputation and all that,” Iron answered, somewhat lamely.

“Are you certain you won't tell them your past?” Radiance asked of Diamond. “Just so you may go about as you, and to hold Starry in your arms outside of my room.”

“No, no...” Diamond whispered, pulling his hood up further over his face. “The explanation is long, and there are questions about how honest I am since I do not look the way they think I ought. And the scars are... grim...”

“Is this how heroic mares act? Sniping, snide comments, posturing, preening, ego and secrets? I could have stayed at the nuthatch and gotten all of this for free. It's not so different,” Mane-iac whispered to Hum Drum.

“Aw, that's just how they are. They sorta get into it, chatter, pose... then they make up, hug, and go get dessert. Which reminds me, we should totally get a dessert. That Diamond guy turned me on to this thing, it's called a black forest gateau, and it's like a chocolate orgasm in your mouth,” Hum Drum said with a lick of his lips.

Despite herself, Mane-iac actually turned up the corners of her mouth into a small smile. The suggestion was not objectionable, and the manner in which he stated it was... modestly charming. It was a strange thing to admit but it was true. His enthusiasm and positive energy had a kind of charm, even outside of how it translated into excellent care for Sassy. “It sounds quite... suggestively delicious. It also sounds like you're trying to keep me fat. And I thought only villains dealt in nefarious schemes. I like this side of you. It's wicked.”

Hum Drum blushed a bit, turning his head away from Mane-iac. “I-it's totally not that, I swear. I just, you know, think you might like it. We don't even need to go out to a restaurant like Radiance did. We get some, we have it in the dining hall, with something like some wine or champagne and, um, we just... make a date out of it.”

Mane-iac had been expecting something very like it. It was wholly in his character. And yet actually hearing it stated, actually hearing someone ask her out on a date, a real date, still threw her for a bit of a loop. She took a moment to just think about it for a time. “I... well... that wouldn't be so bad. But...” She shook her head some and turned her attention down to Sassy. “Sassy has to come along too. And we can't get too drunk.”

“Oh no, of course not! We'd be really light about it. It's... a family outing! Yeah... I mean, after all, we're a family. You and me and Sassy... and the others, of course,” Hum Drum said, hugging Sassy and putting an arm around Mane-iac to hug her as well.

Mane-iac looked out on the Power ponies, and their male companions. The quiet whispering between some of them, Zapp and Matter-horn arguing with one another, Fili simply playing peekaboo with her foal. A dark look passed over her features for just a moment before she responded, in a husky whisper, “Yes. A family...”