Chapters My Big Horse: Full Life Consequences
Book 2: BIG TROUBLE IN CANTERLOT
BUK 2:
THE ADVONTRUE OF RORTY
Chapter 1: BIG TRUBBLES IN CANNOTRENTALOT.
Rorty was of happy in town of Cannotrentalot, where she was renting a lot. Rorty was shopping for pants for her to wear to the Obese of Trotting Ballroom Dance. As she walked down road of brick she saw a woman in a dark clock with a orb of mysterious.
The womanmanthing say
"Hello Rorty, I half hear of object of powerful that will make you pants!"
Rorty thought for sexonds, "Hmm... I AM RORTY, AND I LOVE PANTS."
Rorty being of element of generosity stole the orb of mysterious and the clock person guy was mad.
It took of its clock and it was reveled to be Princes Moon! Princes Moon say to Rorty, "A CURSE ON YOUR HEAD OF STUPID"
Rorty giggle at the thought of pants, and hurry to her room of luxury in the hotel of rich horses, where only ponies of white are allowed. Rorty climbed into her footsie pyjamas of silk with the button up flap on the bottom, and feel asleep drawling and muttering. "SWEET BEAUTIFUL PANTS" As Rorty slep, The orb of mystery do THING and then WAS BIG SURPRISE for everyone in hotel, especially the people staying below Rorty, who in middle of adult hugging, and the man horse was "I wish you had big vagina" as a giant white cushion of marshmellow came down upon both of them, instantly melting them into marshmellow vagina juice. The last thing said was "THIS IS MY FETISH" and then vigirous fapping ensued before lumber liquidation. Rorty began growing more and more, the hotel was competey demo demo, and many brave white horse died, either by crush by butt, or hoof, or liquidation of marshmellow Sarlacc. BUT THIS WAS ONLY BEGUNNING OF PRUBBLEM
Chapter 2: A STOCKING DEVELOPMENT
Rorty muttered slitly, as she wok up. She wondered what drunk she made to fell this way. She think to herselves, "Oh wow, the sky look so small today, I wonder if it is the LSD finally kikeing in." Rorty stumbled to find her feetsing, and as she relled over, she accidently crush Carbanado Headdress and her friend Copper Fork with her gant hoof. Rorty thunk to herslef "Oh no, I've stepped in Apul's litter box again," still sleppy, she reached for what was tissue, but was actally the national flag of Questria, which was just a gant picture of Princes Sun's Butt. Rorty wipe her hoof of the mess, and look at it,
"Huh, look like Spik been fucking Apul again, with all this ass blod" And Rorty threw the crubmled flag into the Cannotrentorlot hospital for sick children with diseases that can only be cured here where it exploded into fiery bits and then exploded again for no reason. Rorty yawned, and as she did Drappy Hoof piloting a skycam heliocopter blimp of the situation to the local News studio was accidently eat. Rorty closed her mouth and swallowed.
"Ew Gross, I think I eat bug"
Rorty then slip out of pyjamas and prepare for her morning routine. But first things first she thought. She bent over and spread her legs, which happened to be when Tricky was coming into Cannotrentalot after the Great Poo of Ponyburg thinking "Here nothing bad happen to Tricky, for Tricky am great" Tricky finished comping Tricky hair, and stepped outside her cart.
Then Rorty say
"ITS PEE PEE TIME"
Tricky looked up, and scremed.
"NOT AGAIN"
And then Rorty let her pee flow, and Tricky was floated away in wave of pee.
Chapter 3: A CLEAVER TITLE
Rorty was finish of her business,
and she put on her best outfit of whore,
which somehow grew in size too because the author doesn't need to explain the shit in this shitty fan fiction. Rorty put her socks on one by one, which is hard to do because when you have four legs, its kind of fucking complicated. BUT WHAT SHE DIDNT KNOW, is that for reason horses what weird fucking fetishes and climbed inside the socks because I dont know, somethig about Fruedian tendacies that and Princes Sun make everyone in Cannotrentalot travel via inflatable wall thing like you see in the haunted houses that make you feel like you are going through the vagina of some giant balloon woman. ANYWAY, there were fetishes hanging out in her socks, and they were all were like, OH NO, HOW DID WE NOT SEE THIS COMING FROM HANGING OUT IN A GIANT SOCK THAT CAME FROM NOWHERE? Rorty pulled her sock up and all the fetish horse died slowly and painfully as she placed weight on her hoof. This was repeated three more times with each sock, but Rorty didn't notice because thats like noticing when you step on a carpenter ant, you just dont feel it. Rorty then put on her GLORIOUS PANTSU, because like all other normal people , she puts them on after putting on her socks. And there seated in glorious horse pantsu was the biggest fetishist outside of Princes Sun, her step-half-nephew twice removed, AzureHemotoma jerking his massively tiny man clit in the GLORIOUS BLUE AND WHITE STRIPED PANTSU, he was so busy he did not notice Rorty slipping both back legs into them, and pulling them up. AzureHemotoma came with the force of 40 Blue Whales, and then noticed too late! He screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOYEEEEESSSSSSSNOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS" as he was sealed tightly against the mighty vagina of Rority. Rorty snapped shut her GLORIOUS PANTSU and wiggled her butt. causing AzureHemotoma to fall into her Marshmellow folds.
Chapter 4: RELAZYATION!
Rorty gasped and shut her legs shut quickly, which was of badness to AzureHemotoma, because he was at that part of the vagina where the inner folds part with his head sticking out a little of them but still past the outer lips or something. You figure it out. Anyway, decapitation happened.
Good job there Rorty.
Rorty looked at her GLORIOUS PANTSU and saw blud.
"OH NO!!!!"
She also saw blud on her socks and was super afraid and shocked at the same time
"IM HAVING MY PERIOD SO HARD THAT ITS RUNNING DOWN MY LEGS"
Rorty blush of embaress, and sit fastly, but right on top of World Trading Center, which caused the towers to collapse and for some reason some other building 7 miles away and the Octogon building too.
"Oh no! I also leaf my dildo out too!"
Rorty think to hersleeve, "This cannot be of worse"
Than Princess Moon flew to Rorty, and say.
"HA HA HA, WHAT A IDIOT OF GIANT YOU AM"
Rorty was puzzled, is this Princes Moon of Cannotrentalot?
"I did not know you were a midget Princes Moon"
Princess Moon laugh and say.
"I AM NOT OF MIDGETRY, YOU ARE A GIANT"
Rorty look down and notice all the ded horse and her hotel, and then it all cum to her.
"Oh, I killed a whole bunch of people didn't I?"
"YES, AND IT WAS TO TEACH YOU A VALUABLE LESSON AS WELL DID YOU LEARN IT OF WELL?"
"Yes I did Princes. Spik take letter."
Spik was still dead.
"Der Princes Moon, today I lern not to wake up in the morning"
" A GUD LESSON TO OF LEARN. NOW RETURN TO YOUR SIZE."
But was too late, Rority was clapping because she is American and crushed Princess Moon.
Without Princes to rule over them Cannotrentalotians all gathered before Gant Rorty and pleded.
"Oh please Gant Rorty, give us direction and shelter."
Rorty smiled, she never had someone say this, unless you count Spik, but who cares about Spik? Rorty fell said and say.
"Yes of course" And open her GLORIOUS PANTSU, and threw everyone in there, and snapped her GLORIOUS PANTSU shut.
Chapter 5: EPILUGE
Rorty becomed the new Cannotrentalot, which turned into a highly mobile city, just like Santcuary or Balamb Gardenfrom that one game where you play Triple Triad alot. Rorty missed her home of Ponyburg alot, so she decided to visit her sister of little, Salty Bassoon. She flew because, I don't know, you explain this shit. And when she landed in front of Ponyburg, her jaw became drop. The enitre city was on fire and smoking and of ruin. Salty Bassoon came limping to her big sister and say.... "Sister....I'm...so....hap...."
and then die.
then explode.
Rorty looked into the night sky and say
"WHO DO OF THIS TO ME?"
And then a booming voice in the distance....
"IT WAS I, AND ALL MY GIANT POWERS WHO DID OF THIS TO YOU! I AM...."
My Big Horse: Full Life Consequences
Book 3: The Avengers wasn't that good
BUK 3:
AH CHANGEFUL OF QUARTZERS!!!
It was a hap of pies days in land of Shiny Rock Horses, the plants where signing and the birds were swimming and all was good in land of Shiny Rock. Princess CandyCuk and Prince BuyOurToys, were sittings in their castle of Lubby Dubby Wubby, doing adult things like filling out Tax forms naked and other things that royals do naked in their home like go skeet shooting, but without the hole dirty mindset skeet, but actual clay targets, but they were actually crystal poo.
As PrinceBuyOurToys was ready to sexually pen his famous signature on a form W-413(b), a crystal guard aptly named "Commodore GigglesMcSparkyPants" rushed into the bedchamber of PrincessCandyCuk and PrinceIcan'tbelieveIhavetowritethiseverytimehecomesintothisstory, he takes of his hat, which was hard because it was also a part of his hed, something that surprised PrincessCandyCuk and PrinceMarriedtoAforementionedPrincess.
"Your Majesty" Commodore GigglesMcSparklePants bowed,
"GANON HAS SEIZED ALL OF KORIDIE"
PrinceBuyOurToys laff and say
"I WUNDER WHATS FOR DINNER?"
They all laff, but then Commodore GigglesMcSparklePants fall and die with cheesy x eyes drawed on him, as a single note fell from somehow placed on him pockets.
"The Changelings Have Returned"
PrincessCandyCuk look at her husband/BDSM slave with much srs, and say.
"AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!"
PrinceBuyOurToys shake his hed approvingly, and walked over to the royal PowerPuffGirls telephone and made the call.
MENWHILLY!
Over in Cannotrentorlot, Princess Moon was ded from Americlapping Rorty, and Princess Sun was busy being a superconductingspheremadeofmanyreactingparticlesthatgiveoffradiation. The PPG fone was ringing and wok up the special guest who stay thore every now and then, because he/she is kind of a weird drifter and does whatever the fuck he/she wants to because he/she is a strong independant black woman who dont need no man.
The person who will be reveled, open its non gender specific mouth and yawned loudly with an audible yawn like a total prick. "YAWN, Herro? Anyone Here? Your fones am runging."
The mystery person shugged its man/lady shoulders and pick up fone. "Herro, Princess House, This is ...mumble... How can help you?"
"Herro prease? I lok for Princess Moon and Princess Sun, are they home?"
Mystery person look round,
"I dunno, maybe, who this?"
"This am PrinceBuyOurToys, we ned the Avangers to Assemble!"
"Oh kay, will tell, have gud day"
Mystery person hung up phone, and laff.
"Exactly as planned...." he/she went back to his/her bedroom and stared at the bed at the stature of the now rock hard Dick Cords.
"Oh, you poors thungs, you tired to warm them, and now, nothing can stop me, or my revenge."
Dick Cords say nothing because he did not have Parlz Heal, but I'm preddy sure he shed a single tear like the emo fag he was.
"HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU, and with Cannotrentorlot halfly destoryed by that giant klutz, soon the New Kingdom of Chonglings can BEGIN!!!!" The mystery person turned back to RockCord and smile with weevils, and glowed wif an green glow,
"As for you,"
He/she shot the stature with magic as it begun getting smaller and smaller in some odd shrink physics sort of thing, until it was no bigger than a giant flea, which is still kind of small.
"Its time for you to BUTT OUT Little Man"
And slapped her/his ass on DickCord, smashing the stature.
CHAPTER 1: AVENGERS WASN'T THAT GREAT OF A MOVIE
Twilit was sitting in her of house stupidly writing a buk with her pen but remembered she couldn't read and was like "Hah, I can't read" SPIK READ THIS BUK FOR ME. but Spik's corpse was too busy decomposing in the corner, "Oh Spik, you are so silly, Rorty will nebber luv you unless you change everything about yourself and apply yourself to actually be someone to be loved, all the while working alone towards being your ideal you, the woman you love is constantly fucking every stallion out there because she's "finding herself", and when you finally achieve your personal success, she'll laff and say she's already married, and you should've asked her earlier." Spik's corpse cry a little bit, but it was probably frum flies shitting on him.
Fluttshy came into house of Twilight and say.
"Twilight, I has prubblem!"
"OH NO, YOU ARE NOT DOING THING AGAIN ARE YOU?"
"No no, I am over that, and I have now a convientally placed house that was built from my poo."
"Oh gud! Wat is prubblem?"
"This stupid fone won't stop runging!"
Fluttshy pulled from her magic vagina of holding her PPG fone which was glowing red.
Twilit laff,
"Oh Fluttshy, you use the telefone like this."
Twilit pick up fone, and clear her throat of cigarette smoke and nosty flems.
"Hellos, This am Twilit, How help?"
"TWILIY."
Twilit hung up fone, and shoved back into Fluttshy.
"FUCKING NOPE"
Fluttshy open her mouff to say sumthings, but the fone voice came through like some humorous fonograph,
"TWILIY, THIS IS YOUR BRUDDA PRINCE BUYOURTOYS. WE NED TO ASSEMBLE ONCE MORE LIKE THAT TIME WHEN OUR PARENTS WERE GONE AND WE PLAYED BLANKET FORT AND WE DID THAT THING"
"Okay, Understood thank you Brudda."
Twilit slammed Fluttshy's moff, and look at her with srs.
"Its time Fluttshy, do you still has your costume?"
Fluttshy's eyes sparked with sparkly sparkles.
"AWWWW YEAH NIGGA"
Twilit go to her closeit and inputted nummers into her fake invisible keypad saying "DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT" while singing "DUN DUN LA DA DA DA DA DA DUN DUN LA DA DA DA DA" As she slipped on her clothes she went "GISSSSSSSSSSSH" "GACHUNK GACHUNK" When she was fully costumed she began yelping "DUDDLE LA DA DA DUH DUN DUDDLE LA DA DA" as Fluttshy came back into Twilit's House and joined in "DUHHHHHHHHHH DUUUUUUUUNNNNNN DUHHHHHHHHHHH DUNNNNNNNN DUHHHHHHHHHH" as she squeeked her duck horn at Twilit.
"QUIT HONKING I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME"
Twilit threw Spiks costume at him, and leaf her house were Fluttshy was waiting. As they both chorused. "DUN DUN DUN DUH LUDDLE DAH DAH" then Winoa jumped on Twilit.
"Winoa no! Get down! SPIKKKKKKKKKKKKK"
But Spik was ded.
Video for those who dont get the reference
http://youtu.be/xBoRLr3kgtU
CHAPTER 2: RETURN OF ORANGEBILL
SOMEWHERE IN A GALAXY THAT WASN'T REALLY THAT FAR AWAY BUT IT WAS A DECENT DISTANCE THAT IT COULDN'T EVEN BE GOOGLE MAPP'D.
Princess OrangeBill was sitting with happy with her husband PrinceRanboar reigning over the Orange people of PearLand. OrangeBill sipped at her Orange flavoured offbrand Kool-Aid aptly named "Orange Flavoured Interesting Juice" when the roral PPG fone was going off. OrangeBill yell to her husband.
"HONEY, FONE!"
Ranboar was like
"WAT? I CAN'T HERE YOU?"
"I SAID THE FONE IS RUNGING!"
"THE TOAD IS FLINGING? THEN EXECUTE THE FUCKER!"
"NO THE FONE IS RUNGING!!!"
"THE CONE IS TOUNGING? WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME?"
OrangeBill got filled with emotion of angry and pick up her giant princess chair and dragged it across the hilariously long royal dinner table which was a decent feat because those chairs were heavier than that black guy from Precious and 20 Oprahs put together. OrangeBill made it to Ranboar and shouted.
"THE FONE IS RUNGING"
"Oh, why didn't you say so?"
Ranboar and OrangeBill both drug their chairs back to where OrangeBill was sitting like in a Dan Akryod/John Candy comedy fil,, and they pick up fone, but it had already gone to voicemail and they sighed.
"Hi this is Princess OrangeBill, AND THIS IS YOUR MUTHAFUCKINGKINGCUNTBITCHRANBOARDISH, we're not in at the moment, PROBABLY CUZ WE ARE FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER ON TOP OF YOUR TAX DOLLARS, so if you could leave a message after the beep, AND IF THIS IS A COMPLAINT YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH MY PUCKERY ANUS YOU UNGRATEFUL CUNTS". *Beep*
"Honey! They have the same voicemail as we do!, Uh, I mean, Hello, This is PrinceBuyOurToys from Shining Rock Land, we ned the Avengers to Assemble!" Orangebill look with srs lub to her husband Ranboar,
"It's tim my love!"
"WHO IS TIM I'LL KILL HIM! SWAG"
"I'll make the royal announcement to our people"
Okay, now do the pantyhose go on my head or butt?
OrangeBill sighed "My DASHING prince"
OrangeBill walked out into the royal balcony, which was different than normal balconies because this one had a neat little crown that indicated it was the Royal Balcony.
"PEOPLE OF PEARLAND, YOUR PRINCE AND I MUST LEAF FOR OUR HOMELAND!"
The people of Pearland, who were all oddly stuck in the 1940's clapped in high speed like stock footage.
http://youtu.be/IxAKFlpdcfc
"WE WILL RETURN TO GUIDE YOU WHEN OUR HOME IS SAFE."
The people of PearLand continued clapping.
OrangeBill went back into the royal bedchamber were her husband Ranboar was standing there in her Captain Equestria costume with a mighty HYPER ION BLASTER as a strap on penis.
"What do you think? On or off?"
"Off. Please"
Akward silence passed,
"Too bad."
OrangeBill quickly got dressed, and inserted Oranges into her Reactor, because she was COPPER MARE, and they broaded their Orange based Orange shaped and oddly enough Pink coloured Spaceship and flew off to Questria to save their homeworld.
The PearLandians watched as their Prince and Princess flew off.
"We had a Princess?"
"Don't blame me, I didn't vote for them."
http://youtu.be/QJfJTmfq2Q4
CHAPTER 3: ACTUAL FUCKING THREAD RELATED CONTENT
THIS CHAPTER HAPPENS BEFORE EVERYTHING!!!
IN THE KINGDOM OF CHONGLONGS.
Queen Christoper Robin was busy schooling woodland critters in the magical arcane art of baseball, when one of her most loyal subjects, Sir BuggyMcBuggingtonBuggyButt the Third arrived to tell his queen the important news he had just intercepted from the Chonglong spoo he had hired from Radical Engineering Divisions from Nowheresburg Kansas.
"My queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn..... I have newssssssssssssssssssssssssssss."
Queen Christopher Robin smacked the nigga,
"For Christ's sake, its you fucker that give us Chonglongs a bad name, speak properly you fuck"
"S-sorry. Anyway I have news from our hired R.E.D. spy. He says that there is a crucial weak point in the infastructe within the tiny horse kingdom, and that if we can exploit it, we can ravage the land and exact our revenge."
"Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcellent."
The two looked at each other awkwardly, "ITS ACCEPTABLE WHEN I DO IT, CHECK YOUR PRIVELAGE MALE SCUM"
Queen Christopher Robin threw a fastball into her servant, who went about 300M but was ruled as a foul ball so it didn't go on the scoreboard.
"Good.... good..... now that my arcane mystic items that I had gotten from that mysterious person who I really couldn't tell was a man or a woman will finally be of use to me."
Queen Christopher Robin pulled out THING, and swallowed it hole.
"Yessssssss...........YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS............ I CAN FEEL IT, THIS GROWING POWER WITHIN MYSELF, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Queen Christoper Robin grew majestically like a deer sipping water from a lake, which actually there was one, but she stepped on it and she laff. "CUM MY ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW WE TAKE BACK OUR REVENGE AGAINST THE PUNY HORSES!!!!"
THIS HAPPENS AFTER BUK 1, AND SEMI HAPPENING IN BUK 2.
MENWHILLY, In HorsePunCity
Octavillary had just finished her concerto of Mozart's Requim for the Rich and Elite who unknowingly had escaped a marshmellowy fate in CannotRentorLot. More stock footage of applause was had, as Octavillary bowed and dead flowers were thrown at her. The curtain closed, and Octavillary went back to her dressing room because FUCK IT all places have dressing rooms. There waiting for her was her Beautiful Transvestite Wife with an Alligator Penis, Vinny Scrotch.
"YOU CUMMED!"
Octavillary shouted as she hugged Vinny.
"I SURE DID" Vinny said as she wiped away the excess "LIQUID PRIDE" from her alligator penis.
"I missed you so much Vinny, I thought you wouldn't cum because of your event."
"I wouldn't have missed this, even if the world was ending...."
"Here, I've got something to show you..."
Octavillary blushed, and threw her hair to the side like all tsundere style. "Y-you dont have to show me anything b-baka, I'm just happy your here."
Vinny smiled,
"No, this is important"
Octavillary, looked back at Vinny, who was on her knee.
"Octavillary, will you do me the honor?"
Octavillary's eyes widened... it was really happening.
"Of being my beloved, my one and only bride?"
Octavillary was full of happiness, as she mak tear and cry.
"YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!!"
They kiss wif tong, and Vinny grab her by the hoof,
"Cum on Waifu! Let's go to the balcony to really capture the moment!"
The two ran up the stairs as Octavillary looked at the woman she loved, and imagined the long life they had for each other, raising children, waking every morning to each other, growing old together, it filled her with so much happiness. Vinny and Octavillary busted through the balcony doors, and what they saw... caused more shock than the sudden proposal. Octavillery held Vinny closely...
"No...Oh Princess Sun, no...."
Vinny gasped in shock...
"No, not today....OH GOD WHY?"
Octavillery sat closelies next to Vinny Scrotch. She held her hoove, and they mak tears frum their eyes, as the sky lit up with fire and explosion it was turly the end of the world before them. She kissed Vinny Scrotch, and whispered loudly in her ear
"Goodbye my love"
The Orchestra collasped in massive explosion, and crumbled like a house of cracker cards or like the offbrand version of Jenga that wasn't made my Mattel, I think it was Icebreakers, anyway, they died.
Under the rubble Octavillary whimpered siftly, and look next to her, Vinny's body was bury under robble, and Octavillary look to sky and cry. The Sun was blot will smoke and destoction, a great shadow blanked her sight of the sky, Octavillary smlle softly, and closed her pies as mammries of her live flashed in her mind, she was at piece at last. She was with the woman she loved so much, and even in this last moment, it meant so much to her.
Queen Christoper Robin laffed, and crunched her mighty foot on the orchestra,
"Ew, looks like I stepped into something mediocre", and wiped her foot on the HorsePunCity garbage dump.
She laffed harder and harder into the blazing sky and her Chonglongs were exploding into every building, and bringing helpless ponies to be fed to their giant queen.
CHAPTER 4: MORE PLOTLINE BUILDUP
Twilit, and Fluttshy just fucking cruising in their 1930's jalopy that has the hand crank engine like from the old Merry Melodies cartoons to were the meet up of the Avengers were to be, which oddly enough was at Soury Sphere Section, because I need a way to write in Plinko without taking a whole bunch of author skills. So fucking anyway, Twilit and Fluttshy got out of their jalopy, and they shut the door, WHICH THEN FUCKING EXPLODED BECAUSE FUCKING GENERAL MARETORS IS A FUCKING SHIT CAR COMPANY, and walked into Soury Sphere Section. Mr and Mrs Pastry was behind the counter doing their usual BDSM routine, which totally would've freaked out Twilit and Fluttshy, if this wasn't the 50th time they've done this.
"Plinko is upstairs Mr and Mrs Pastry?"
"MMMPHHHMMH" Mr Pastry said through his ball gag.
"I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD SPEAK BITCH" Mrs Pastry screamed as she rammed a spiked dildo into Mr Pastry's ass.
"Please, make yourselves at home dearies."
Twilit and Fluttshy made they're ways upstairs as Mrs Pastry screamed again.
"QUIT CRYING, TAKE IT LIKE A MAN." As the sound of a whip was heard echoed through the shop.
Twilit and Fluttshy knocked on Plinko's door,
"Cum in Girls, I've been waiting for you."
So they did, they walked in, and nothing special happened. Well except for all the fucking awesome shit that you the reader can't see because I'm too fucking lazy to write it down. Oh man, some of the shit in Plinko's room is so fucking amazing, its like a fucking wonderland of amazing things. Twilit and Fluttshy were so amazed, that they couldn't say anything.
Plinko sat in her Jame Bond Villian style spinny chair with crossed legs and holding Gummy lovingly.
"I think you need my services, yes?"
"Yes, We need to assemble!" said Fluttshy.
"Tschk tschk Fluttshy, you do not have permission to speak right now. Especially after what you pulled."
Fluttshy blushed, and meekly pulled away.
Twilit slamed the table
"PLINKO, WE HAS NO TIMS FOR THIS! PRINCESS CANDYCUK AND PRINCEMYBROTHER NEED OUR HELP."
"Yes, The Chonglongs are invading all of Questria, by a mysterious force that seems to have come from a mysterious source, it seems to have already made its way into CannotRentOrLot, and it tried to destroy PonyBurg with our good friend over here."
Plinko looked sarcastically at Fluttshy who crawled into a little ball of spaghetti.
"And the remainder of our "Team" is already on the way from Space to restore "Order" in this wicked wicked world."
Twilit was shocked,
"Plinko, h-how do you know all of this?"
Plinko turned away from Twilit and Fluttshy and threw her hooves into the sky
"Why do I know anything? Are you girls really this stupid? How do you think I really knew to bring my mecha suit, about Rorty destorying CannotRentorLot?"
Plinko turned back around, and glowed with an evil green glow.
"Are you really that stupid girls?"
Before Twilit and Fluttshy knew it, they sank into they're chairs looking up at a great big table.
Plinko walked over to Twilit and Fluttshy, and smiled evilly.
"You see girls, I am the one who set these actions into motions. But I can't exactly just let two little knowitalls who can go around and ruin my plans"
Plinko walked over to Fluttshy's chair first.
"Hmm.... I think its time to finish what I started with you."
"Oh---Celestia no!!!!"
Fluttshys screams were muffled as Pinkie sat front ways crushing Fluttshy inbetween her pink thighs.
Twilit cried and crawled into a ball, as Plinko finished grinding her cotton candy cunt on Fluttshy.
Plinko walked over to Twilit,
"As for you Egghead, I always thought that Gummy would LOVE eggs. Lets see what he thinks."
Plinko picked up Twilit by the mane, and held her over the open mouff of Gummy.
"Nonononononononononononononono"
"Oh yes, Twilit, now please. Die."
Twilit fell onto Gummys slick wet tong, and screamed at Plinko.
"WHY PLINKO? WHY YOU DO THIS?"
Plinko glared with much evilness to the point if you saw it you'd have an instantboner no matter if you were a man or woman.
"Because Twilit, I've seen too much of this world, all of this wicked shit that comes from this world. You think you are just in a happy little world were nothing bad happens, and I am the proof that this fucking disgusting happy world needs. Goodbye, my bestest friend."
"PLINKOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
But Twilit screams were muffled as Gummy closed his moff around Twilit and swallowed.
Twilit struggled slitly, but gave into the strong gator acids, her last thoughts being that the magic of friendship was dead, as she screamed out. "I FUCKING HATE YOU, I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL."
Gummy burped loudly as Plinko picked him up and rubbed his belly.
"Oh, you are such a hungry little piggy Good boy."
Plinko returned back to her James Bond Villian chair and crossed her legs again.
"Sic Simper Tyrannus Girls, may we meet again in hell." as she pulled out a handgun, and shot herself in the head, blood smearing the walls of the amazingly detailed room that I cannot even begin to describe.
MEANWHILE IN THE BASEMENT OF SOURY SPHERE SECTION.
<BIOFUNCTIONS OF MASTERPLINKO NOT DETECTED. BEGINNING SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE IN 10...9....8....7.....6....
Mrs Pastry was busy licking every bit of sweat off of Mr Pastry bleeding phallus.
5....
Mrs Pastry bit through his silly putty like man bag.
4......
Mr Pastry screamed, "YESSSSSSSSS....DO IT FUCKING MAKE ME EXPLODE ME BITCH.
3.....
Mrs Pastry shoved her tongue needle right into Mr Pastry uretha
2.....
Mr Pastry couldn't hold back anymore,
1......
I'M CUMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!
0......
Chapter 5: ALL HOPS ARE LUST!
Do you know what the average radius of hyrdogen bomb? I dont either, but its fucking insane. CUT FUCKING RIGHT TO WHERE RORTY CUMS BACK TO PONYBURG.
SaltyBassoon who was right at the near at the end where the explosion zone was came up to Rorty.
"S---sister.... you came back....I'm so happy..."
She fell over and died, and then exploded.
Rorty could not belief her pies,
Her sister, her town, her friends, they were all gone.
"WHO IS RESPONSIBBUBBLE FOR THIS?"
"I AM RESPONSUBBUBBLE FOR THIS, FOR I AM TRICKY! AND I AM GRATE!"
Said a Tiny Tricky whose special talent was finding ways to get out of dying in a fanfiction, she climbed into a refridgerator.
Rorty screamed at her.
"HOW, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS YOU UNFASHIONABLE WHORE????"
"TRICKY NOT KNOW, BUT TRICKY AM GRATE, SO THIS IS WORK OF TRICKY."
Rorty would have nun of this, and raised her hoof.
"AHAHAHA, FOOLISH GIANT PONY, TRICKY CANNOT DIE"
Rorty smashed her giant hoof where the delusional pony stood, grinding her into a ketchupy mess.
"Not today, Bitch."
Rorty sat down, (unknowingly crushing half of the CannotRentorLotians by her marshmellowly cheeks) and began crying. She flung her arms like a 3 year old child who was told she couldnt have ice cream. Unknowingly she hit the Pink Orange Spaceship were OrangeBill and Ranboar were traveling in, and it crashed into Detroit.
Rorty scremed into the sky.
"THIS DAY CANNOT GET ANY WORSE"
EPILOUGE: IT GETS WORST
Queen Christopher Robin just landed in Shiny Rock Land, long story short, alot of ponies died, PrincessCandyCuk also died in the arms of PrinceBuyOurToys as Queen Christopher Robin showed her the power of Her Love as they drowned within the Mighty McCracken Vagoo of Queen Christopher Robin.
Everything was lost.
CannotRentorLet was destory,
Ponyburg was Hiroshima'd
The magic of Frondship was ded,
Twilit was ate,
Fluttshy was smushed,
Plinko was an hero'd
Orangebill and Ranboar Dish were busy fighting off denizens of Detroit ala World War Z style
And Rorty was de-shoveled.
Princess Sun was sun,
Princess Moon was smush
Dickcord was a little smashed up
PrincessCandyCuk and PrinceBuyOurToys were slowly dissolve in horse vagina juice as the clenching McCracken of Queen Christopher Robin kept bouncing and constricting around their ded bodies.
Professor Whoof saw all the destruction and smoke from his balcony, and knew what needed to be done. He pulled out his Sonic Hammer, and hit his BARDIS with it saying "I'M GUNNA WRECK IT" as the BARDIS exploded. He wud die here, but he simle.
He wud be wif retard wive again.
"Now go, fix this world hereo." Professor Whoove says as he exploded into super time sparkles.
Somewhere depp in EternityParoleForest Spik came too, and wok up.
"Ugh, my hed, it feel of such that my head of me was hit by radiator"
TO BE CONCLUDED IN BUK FINALTESS
Everything.
My Big Horse: Full Life Consequences
Book 4: Oh dear God why did I write this?
Book 4: Oh dear God why did I write this?
Prolooge:
Imaggin, an sorts of place were thyme continues to flow endlessly. Like a grill who is in a constantance menstration cycle and has no tampon. It repets over and over, following the sam cycle word for word, action by action. It is a cycle of borth and not borth, that leds to repetitive redundancy of repeating resolutions that really ravages and rends reality, rarely retconning or ripostes.
This is such a place that reality is, it cycles over and over, but why? What leads existance to repet itself over and over?
There are 3 Guds who know this truff. The Gud of Tim, The Gud of Lif, and The Gud of Nuffin.
These three Guds have avators in this wurld, and in al wurlds and speak into truff into their avators. Those chosen and who have seen this truth, have forever ben changed.
The Gud of Tim seeks to change this cycle, The Gud of Lif seeks to keep this cycle, and The Gud of Nuffin seeks to destory all cycles.
This is the only, and absolut truff.
CHAPTER 1: EVONY AND IBONY
Spik hole his head and shake vigorously like he was attempting to do the Michael J Fox and the Chief Justice Roberts after seeing strobbing lights dance.
His head rung loudly, he try to peace together his mammries, but then remmomber that he was nut mammal and didnt make milk, so he grub his dragon cuk and mad milk that way.
Upon spraying dragon cheese upon a toadstool who was in regal wear, I think perhaps it was a Vicar or Noblewoman, but definately not a Princess, Spik sat down.
How am Spik here?
Where Twilit?
Why am I alone agin?
I miss Rorty,
Im hungry
I wish I wasn't a bad character
CRAWLING IN MY SCALES, THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL.
Spik curl up into ball and begin cri.
"Oh Gourd, I am alone, no one is here"
"What a surprise for me to have found! I thought I heard someone, but its just a faggot on the ground!"
Spik raised his hed fastly, and there was Zoocockring standing in front of him with a throbbing wotch doctor vagoo and eating watermelon flavoured spaghetti.
"Aha so it does hear, too bad for me its a little queer"
Spik ran to Zoocockring and held her.
"Oh what am I do here? Were Twilit? Were freinds? Why can't I remomber?"
Zoocockring took two stops back and say "For those things I will answer, but if you touch me again I'll rape your ass sir!"
Spik look to sky and saw smok, and began worry.
"Now let us hurry and make haste, we do not have time to waste. To my hut we shall go, hurry the fuck up you little homo."
Zoocockring disappeared into the woods, as Spik cri a little.
"Everyone, please be okay."
CHAPTER 2: HUNDREDS OF CHANNELING BUT NOTHING TO WATCH
Spik run with much fastness to keep up with the mystery full wotch doctor. All the willy his hed floshing through many mammries. He saw a woman, not a horse but an actual woman, with boobies and all with long flowly hairsitting across a creature that look like a giant squid but with a top hat monocle and a corn cob pipe. They were arguing about someting something about getting milk from the market and how my mother was always right about you. The two lashed at each other, while Spik hear chuckle from his point of view.
"Hurry inside you must not lag, get the fuck in here you little fag."
Spik shok his head agin, and realized he was walking continuosly into Zoocockrings tree house fort that was on Chicken Legs like a NPC who had not been paying attention.
"Sorry, let me cum inside."
Spik try to find dor, but the house kept spinning round every tim Spik try to face the dor.
"Srsly, what the fudge ZooCockRing! Your house is an dick!"
ZooCockRing simle and say
"With my home you must understand, that it follows its own certain plan, to enter in you must know the phrase, the answer only known to gays"
Spik sat down and thunk.
"AHA! I'VE GOTTEN IT!"
Spik pointed at the chicken legg'd house and say.
" Ryan Seacrest is actually 20 marmosets inside of a human puppet that is meant to be operated by 32 Cane Toads!"
The house turned round, dor facing Spik and ZooCockRing.Tricky who was busily and painfully regenerating from her competely hellish encounter with Rorty was slowly limping towards the unlikely duo.
"GREETINGS FELLOW LIVEALOTS! IT IS I TRICKY AND I LIVE YET AGAIN!"
The chicken legged house sat down right down on Tricky and farted.
"OH NO CHICKEN BUTT" say Tricky as she was smushed by the house.
"What the fuck was that?" Say Spik.
"Nothing to worry little dragon, just a healing mutant who fell of the wagon."
" Oh. Hah!"
Spik and Zoocockring both laff as they walk inside.
Zoocockring's house was full of magic tings, many of which were so awesome to look at, but honestly couldnt be described because such a thing would leave a normal man MAD.
"Come, I shall make tea, with memory powder, and also my pee."
Zoocockring went to her kitchen and put on an apron and suddenly became a mammy and changed her voice dialect as well.
"Oh lawdy child, you have missed a lot. The Devils at work in Ponyburg and CannotRentorLot. Many ponies are gone, that we all can see, All of your friends, including Rarity."
Spik tear up, and run into kitchen, but being dumb Spik hit his head off a low hanging frying pan triggering another flashback.
"Idiot! What good is there in absolute nothingness? You know that we are all somethings you know?"
*Wet gurggel sounds that really can't be translated*
"What do you mean that you don't care anymore? YOUR A FUCKING GOD, DEAL WITH IT YOU PUSSAPUSS!"
*More wet smacking sounds*
"Fine! I'll take your bet. We'll let this cycle go without interupption, if it goes as usual, then I win, You will be banished to exist for all eternity. If you win, and the cycle changes, then I will banish myself, and you can have your absolute nothingness."
*Wet gurggles intensifies*
"No, let him stay outside of the game, he is such a buzzkill and he'll probably fuck it up for both of us."
"Child..... Child....? Are you awake? It seems that you have been hit in the face?"
Spik cam too, and saw Zoocockring with a boiling hot kettle in her moff, and Spik say.
"Not sure, saw something weird."
Zoocockring simled and say, "To the table my dear, you have much to hear."
Spik and ZooCockRing made way to the diner and sat down. Tricky was somehow vaccuum sealed under the Chicken Butt of the house, and ZooCockRing smiled evilly.
"Oh what generous luck! A nice cushion for my massive butt!"
Zoocockring sat down as Tricky muffled screams could be heard.
ZooCockring poured the tea and gave a glass to Spik,
"Drink up and learn, for all the answers that you yearn."
Spik was like YOLOSWAG and drank it one one gulp. Suddenly flashes to everything that happened, Twilit being ate, Shiny Rock Land being destoryed, Rorty being kilt by Queen Christopher Robin as millions of ponies running from her GLORIOUS STRIPED PANTSU as they were being ate by the evil gant Queen in her many hungry holes. The radiator hitting him in the head, and causing his death. Spik shook his head, and look with on his face of many grizzled war veteran.
"I died, didnt I Zoocockring?"
Zoocockring drank more tea, and said.
"To this I have no suprise, you were always a bad character in my eyes."
Spik shuddered, "Zoocockring, have you ever heard of a Giant Squid wearing a Top hat and a monocle while smoking a corn cob pipe?"
Zoocockring dropped her glass as her eyes opened wide and began shaking violently like an epiletic father shaking his baby to retardation.
"W-w-w-w-w-what did you just say?"
It had been the first time she spoke without rhyme in 30 years.
"A giant squid, wearing a top hat and a monocle smoking...."
Zoocockring had both hooves on Spiks shoudlers.
"A corn cob pipe?"
Spik was afeared,
"Y-yes."
Zoocockring ran to hear bukshelf and began pulling candes, chalk and other wotch stuff and began furiously making a circle in the floor.
"Zoocockring, whats gotten into you?"
"SILENCE YOU FOOL, THERE ARE FORCES AT WORK GREATER THAN BOTH OF US."
Spik shut up quickly, but he was used to that treatment. Zoocockring sat in the middle of her circle and began chanting.
"Ewe mo wae wae wie zie dao Ewe mo wae wae wie zie dao. Great gods of beyond I speak to thee, make your presence known to me!"
Spik walked to Zoocockring and she opened her eyes. She began shitting herself at the force of 10 billion jet engines. For unbeknowst to Spik, he had a Spirit coming from behind him like a mother fucking stand.
It was a bearded man, with a vest on, and he had three hats that were on top of each other, because he was a wealthy Englishman saying that he was superior than all the other poor Irishmen who did not have headwear.
Zoocockring shook and trembled as the Stand glared at her, and brought a finger to his lips, motioning her for silence.
The Stand went into Spik, as Spik shuddered a little.
"Zoocockring, are you okay?"
Zoocockring muttered something, like she had seen the pure answer to all the universes.
"I am fine, but we have no time. We must hurry, quickly grab me some curry."
"W-what?" Spik said as he ran into the kitchen, avoiding the haphazard cooking untensils.
"Spik, you have a gift unknown, and with it, you will save the world."
Spik came back out from the kitchen, with a silly chef hat wearing an aporn that said "Kiss the Cock" and holding a mixing bowl.
"HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?????????????????????????????"
CHAPTER 2: Only classy fucks will get the reference.
"M-me? Save the world? What the fuck was in that tea Zoocockring?"
"I know it sounds strange, and totally absurd, but this is the truth, every single word. Now quickly come here, and listen to me, follow my instructions exactly as you see."
Spik was confuzzled, but obeyed, just like he did for the most part of his life.
Zoocockring found a vinyl record and put it in her phonograph.
"Listen to everything this phonograph says, we need to do this right to prevent the end of days"
"It's a jump to the left."
Spik and Zoocockring jumped to their left.
"and then a step to the r-iiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ght."
they took a step to the right.
"Put your hands on your hips"
they followed perfectly.
"You bring in knees in tight"
Spik and Zoocockring brought their knees in like they had to pee really badly and there was no bathroom.
"But it's the pelvic thrust, That really drives you insaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane."
Spik and Zoocockring began pelvic thrusting at the speed of ten thousand Freddie Mercuries as a rift in time began opening in front of them and sucked them both inside. It closed up behind them as a chorus of many ponies suddenly came out of nowhere and sang.
"LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"
Spik shook his head again,
"God, I haven't done that since the 88' Oakland show in King's Theater. You okay Zoocockring?"
Spik look round, but she was nowhere to be find.
Spik began doing the hole, "GOD IM ALONE" bullcrap thing again and hiper ventalating everywhere and puking blud.
"Why does everyone leaf me?" Spik sputtered under tears.
"You are not alone Spik"
Suddenly 6 orbs appeared round Spik, one yeller, one orange, one rainbow, one white, one pink and one purple.
"We are with you Spik, our essence is still alive, and our friendship is still alive." The Purple one said.
"We could never you little guy." The Rainbow one said.
"Yup lil pardner, you look like your inna bind" said the Orange one.
"But right now, I think w-we got the prob-blem" said the Yellow one.
"And its a super duper big humungous need to rewrite time problem too!" said the Pink one.
"Spik, we need you, everypoony needs you, I need you. Save us Spik." said the White one.
Spik bowed his head, and clenched his fists.
"But how? Everyone is dead! Everyone! Hell, I WAS DEAD UNTIL 30 MINUTES AGO!"
" That would be where I come in friend"
Spik turned round and saw the Stand with the Excsuisite Headgear. The White Orb began orgasming immediately at seeing at the fashionable hat.
"Hello there. I'm the God of Time, looks like you'll be taking the place of my usual friend."
Spik shook his head, like hes been doing constantly.
"H-huh what? I didn't invite you in my body! THATS MY PURSE I DONT KNOW YOU!" Spik tried to kick the Stand in the testicles, but appairently Spiritual Embodiments of the Orginal Universe dont have genetalia. Naw Im kidding, he kicked him right in the fucking balls.
"Ooof... right in the cock too. Look, I'm not really sure why its you either, you nearly dont have enough capacity as my last form, but whatever. Whats done is done, now we have to save all of existance from my "acquaintances"
"What do you need me to do?"
The Stand readjusted his misaligned testicles, and breathed a sigh of release.
"First off, we are going to save your friends."
Pointing to the 6 orbs.
"Secondly, we are going to undo the entire chain of events."
He pulled out a pocket watch, and began fiddling with it.
"Thirdly, we are going to reset everything, kill my two acquaintances, and allow that all realities and existances to be free."
Spik dropped to the technical floor, because it was kind of Space Time and there was no floor.
"What do you say Spik? How do you feel on being the saviour of literally all of existances?"
Spik stood up.
" I guess I dont have any real choice."
"Oh boy, here we go." The Rainbow Orb said sarcastically as everyone laughed.
Spik surrounded by his friends and a sense of purpose,said verly manly and heroically.
"Let's go everyone."
The White Orb orgasmed again and the Stand smiled as he closed his pocketwatch.
"Well said, now, lets go everyone."
Chapter 3: Back to the Past Present that is in the Future Past!
Spik materialized out of thin air in HorsePunCity. The city was dark and had storm clouds thick as Princess Sun's fat buttcheeks, which is pretty damn impressive.
"Good, it didn't happen yet." The White Orb said as it came out of Spik.
"What didn't happen?"
The White Orb flew around as if looking for something.
" I didn't die yet Spik."
"You mean Rorty, wait... YOUR RORTY?"
"No shit sherlock." said the White Orb.
Spiks eyes filled with silly cheesy hearts like some shitty 80's cgi animation as a comical giant tear drop came from the White Orbs head.
"C'mon Spike, we have to change the events of what is happening, Quickly Spik. TO THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN!"
Spik began running after the White Orb,
"Let nothing stand in our way Spik! We must make hurry! OH. MY. GOD. THOSE SHOES ARE ADORABLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Spik grabbed the White Orb and began dragging her away from the stores window.
Meanwhile at the Opera House....
Octavillary sat alone in her dressing home as she fiddled with the picture of Vinny Scrocth and her sitting together in a park.
"Vinny.... I really wish you would've come tonight."
A sudden knock at the door brought Octavillery from her slight depression.
"Oh! Coming!" Octavillery quickly binded her hair with a treble cleft clip and rushed to the door. She opened it, half hoping it would be her love. No such luck, it was her manager.
"Are you ready Ms. Octavillary? The crowd is growing anxious."
Octavillary sighed, "Yes, give me an additional 5 minutes, and I'll be ready."
"Very well, break a leg Ms Octavillary" Her manager shut the door, and walked away.
As he walked down, many stagehands walked past him in hurry in preparation for the show. He made his way to the Highest seat in the Operahouse. As he sat down, he put his hands together as his glasses shone and he glowed with a green aura whispered.
"All is ready my queen. You may begin in 5 minutes."
Octavillary sighed, it was time. She grabbed her Cello, and proceeded to the stage. The Operahouse's lights dimmed as the clamouring buzz of the audience silenced. The curtains pulled back, as it revealed Octavillary, the orchestra began playing softly.
http://youtu.be/q5Y2B55nKZY [Embed]
(please play for full effect)
Spik stood at the slums of HorsePunCity with the White Orb, the storm clouds crashing and the smell of a great squall was on the horizon.
"It was here, wasn't it Rorty?"
"Yes Spik.... I died here fighting Queen Christopher Robin, because I failed, HorsePunCity was destoryed. Here I come now."
As the White Orb said, The Giant Rorty came flying from the sky, and stood on the border of HorsePunCity. Not even 30 seconds later, a great rumbling from the horizon, it was a soft rumble at first, that grew and catrophinated into a great buzzing that was unescapable.
Millions upon millions of Chonglongs, lead by their Giant Queen.
"The Storm is here." The White Orb said.
Giant Rorty put up a force field around HorsePunCity as the first wave of Chonglongs smashed into it dying immediately.
The second wave noticed this and attacked Rorty directly. Rorty was strong though, and sent an electric field from her horn to her body. Frying all the biting and gnawing at her massive body. This effectively took care of waves 2-7. One hundred thousand down, only 3 billion left to go.
"YEAH! YOU GO RORTY! YOU SHOW THEM WHOSE BOSS!" Spik cheered.
But then suddenly a great green flashed blinded the entire sky, and Giant Rorty as well.
"RORTY! LOOK OUT!"
But Giant Rorty didn't hear Spik, as she was tackled by Queen Christopher Robin.
Queen Christopher Robin sank her massive fangs into the neck of Rorty.
Rorty shrieked in agony, as 60 million Chonglongs followed their Queens cue and sunk their fangs into Rorty.
"RORTY!!!" Spik screamed, as he began running towards the forcefield.
"SPIK NO!" The White Orb cried follwing Spik "If you die now, everything will have been for nothing!"
Spik continued running past building past building, almost crashing into unaware ponies and into speeding cars.
"I don't care, I can't just watch as Rorty dies! I cant do that, she's my friend, and if I don't do something to help her, than that's worse than dying!"
The White Orb stopped and choked up.
"Oh Spik...."
Giant Rorty sent another powerful pulse from her horn, and fried the small fry from her body, and stunning the Massive Chonglong Queen. Rorty kicked the stunned Queen off from her, and held her bleeding wound. Suddenly the CannotRentOrLotians started levitating from Rorty's GLOIOUS STRIPED PANTSU, and began healing her wound with their combined magic.
Rorty stood back up and did a kung fu pose. motioning her hoof to "Come at me Bro"
Queen Christopher Robin howled at the gesture
"YOU INSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT. DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Queen Christopher Robin became engulfed by Green Flames as she charged at remarkable speed at Rorty. Rorty crossed her arms as fended off the charge, but struggling to do so. The forcefield began flickering, it was too much to keep up with. Several Chonglongs entered the force field as it weakened.
Queen Christoper Robin smirked evily,
"Now my children!"
Suddenly, from where Rorty was bitten, tens of thousands of Chonglongs erupted from Rorty.
The force field vanished as the Chonglong horde entered the city.
Rortys eyes dilated as she collapsed, hitting the ground with a mighty earthquake.
"RORRRRRRRRRTYYYYYYYYY" Spik ran into the battlefield, constantly dodging around the oncoming locust swarm, the White Orb guiding him.
"Left darling! RIGHT! RIGHT! ABOVE YOU! WATCH OUT!"
A sudden dogpile of Chonglongs tackled Spik as they tried to suffocate him under their body heat, they smiled as chuckled. But in a sudden flash of green fire, they were vanquished.
"RORTY!!!!!!"
Giant Rorty blinked into the dark sky, smoke began filling the sky as she started hearing screams from HorsePunCity. Her eyes filled with tears, she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it without her friends, she thought back to all of them. Twilit, Ranboar, Orangebill, Fluttshy, Plinko, SweetieBassoon, and Spik... dear Spik... she smiled.
"I'm so sorry everyone, especially to you Spik."
Spik kept screaming as he punched oncoming Chonglongs.
"RORTY RORTY HANG ON!!!"
Rorty smirked,
"Even now, I hear your voice, beckoning me to the afterlife... there Spik, I'll let you know how I feel."
Rorty began to close her eyes.
"RORRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Her eyes opened, and right in front of her, standing literally right in front of her eye was Spik. He was panting, covered in green blood, and his own as well.
"*Cough.....Wheeze...R-rorty! I've made it!"
Rorty's eye began filling up with tears of sadness and confusion.
"S-s-spik? But.... you are dead."
"No I'm not Rorty, not as long as my friends are alive, and need my help, I wont die. Please dont die Rorty. I love you!"
"NOWS MY TIME!" The White Orb shone as she flew toward Giant Rorty and sunk into her body.
Rorty began healing from her wound as her magic refueled, a great electric field shot from her horn as her back arced and her eyes became full of magic. The Chonglongs within the city instantly fried, as Queen Christopher Robin screamed.
"IMPOSSIBLE!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!"
Rorty said nothing, and stared at the evil Queen.
"SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW" The Queen charged again, but this time, Rorty held her back with one arm on her horn. Queen Christopher Robin in shock screamed. "NOOO!!! IMPOSSIBLE!" Rorty threw a mighty fist into Queen Christopher Robins stomach, causing her to dry heave. One blow followed by the other, strong mighty blows that began breaking and bursting internal body organs.
"YEAH!!! GO FOR IT RORTY!"
The final note sang out in the Orchesta house. Octavillary, covered in sweat as she bowed to the audience. Outrageous applause was given as cheers and whistles echoed through the hall while dead flowers were thrown at her. The curtain closed, and Octavillary went back to her dressing room because FUCK IT all places have dressing rooms. There waiting for her was her Beautiful Transvestite Wife with an Alligator Penis, Vinny Scrotch.
"YOU CUMMED!"
Octavillary shouted as she hugged Vinny.
"I SURE DID" Vinny said as she wiped away the excess "LIQUID PRIDE" from her alligator penis.
"I missed you so much Vinny, I thought you wouldn't cum because of your event."
"I wouldn't have missed this, even if the world was ending...."
"Here, I've got something to show you..."
Octavillary blushed, and threw her hair to the side like all tsundere style. "Y-you dont have to show me anything b-baka, I'm just happy your here."
Vinny smiled,
"No, this is important"
Octavillary, looked back at Vinny, who was on her knee.
"Octavillary, will you do me the honor?"
Octavillary's eyes widened... it was really happening.
"Of being my beloved, my one and only bride?"
Octavillary was full of happiness, as she mak tear and cry.
"YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!!"
They kiss wif tong, and Vinny grab her by the hoof,
"Cum on Waifu! Let's go to the balcony to really capture the moment!"
The two ran up the stairs as Octavillary looked at the woman she loved, and imagined the long life they had for each other, raising children, waking every morning to each other, growing old together, it filled her with so much happiness. Vinny and Octavillary busted through the balcony doors, and what they saw... caused more shock than the sudden proposal. Octavillery held Vinny closely.
Octivillary and Vinny saw it, The Two Giant Ponies fighting on the outskirts of town, they knew both of them and cheered.
"GO RORTY! FUCK HER UP! YOU CAN WIN" Everyone in the city followed suit and began cheering.
Rorty heard the cheers from HorsePunCity, and it gave her an incredible boost of energy.
A quick blow that busted Queen Christopher Robins Belly Sacs, as the Queen Shrieked in Agony.
"With all the power of these people within me."
Rorty raised her fist.
"Of the people who are cheering me on"
The HorsePunCity folk cheer harder and harder as Octavillary and Vinny Scrotch start beating up the manager as he was trying to flee revealing his true form.
"And through the person whom I love"
Spik was stood with his hand over his eyes as he round kicked a Chonglong trying to sneak up on him.
"With all of these at my disposal, You will finally die you cretin"
Queen Christopher Robin screamed and lunged at Rorty one last time.
Rorty swung harder than she ever did, taking all the energies from all those sources, as Queen Christopher Robin started falling upon her arm. Her chest was puncuntred, as she kept gnawing and gnashing, mere inches away from Rortys face. Rorty unleashed her biggest electrical field, and was eletricfying the inside of the Giant Queen. Smoke was emitting from every oriface as small fires began erupting from under her skin. One by one, Chonglongs began screaming in agony, as they fell over in death.
"Its not over... not by a long shot."
Queen Christopher Robin painfully whispered, and then her eyes depressurized as sparks began escaping from her scalp lighting her hair aflame.
It was over. The cheers from HorsePunCity were deafening in celebration. Rorty took her fist out from the still burning carcess of the Chonglong Queen, as she sat down in exhaustion.
Spik ran up to her and as she picked him up they both smiled and laughed.
"Way to go Rorty!"
"Spik, thank you so much. I--Spik? WHATS HAPPENING TO YOU?"
Spik began glowing as The Stand appeared once more.
"Its time Spik"
"I know, we have to save the others."
"Spik? Please dont go Spik, not yet"
"Rorty, I'll never be truly gone. But there is something I have to do first."
"Spik... I-i love"
Spik held a finger to Rortys lips, which is kind of funny when you think about it, a little dragon telling a giant pony to shush.
"I know. Wait for me Rorty, I'll be back." Spik said as he disappeared into Space Time once more.
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My Big Horse: Full Life Consequences
Book 6: I will never finish this, I am actually wondering if this will haunt me for the rest of my life
Time is fleeting, time is elusive, time is relevant, and irrelevant at the same time. Time is the cornerstone of life, as it is the cornerstone of nothingness, and without time, nothing would exist, however without acknowledging time, everything would continue in its normal state.
Chapter 1: Return
"Ugh.... my head...." Spike moaned as he reeled in pain.
"It feels like I've been out for 7 months..."
"9 months, 12 days, and 33 minutes to be exact." The Stand said to Spike, twirling his pocketwatch whistling a jaunty tune of 'Dust in the Wind'.
"Wh......WHAT? IS EVERYONE OKAY? OH GOD DID I FAIL AT SAVING THE MULTIVERSE?" Spike said with anxiety.
"No no, time is irrelevant my lackadaisical friend, well, at least here in the fabric of space time it is." The Stand cheerfully remarked as he pocketed the watch. He turned and put his hand on Spikes shoulder and showed him the continual flows of many universes around him.
"You see, as we are here, many things have happened before us. Here, we see your friend becoming a princess, Here! we see a fairy type cat dog thing on a distant universe. Here! Look! That dragon bastard thing is going on a trip with your friend and her sister and law."
Spikes head spun. "Oh God, the ride never ends does it?"
The Stand chuckled and tipped his top hat. "No, the ride never ends Spike."
Suddenly the Purple Orb and the Yellow Orb began vibrating with a harmonization.
"Ah, we are close to the timeline where Purple Smart here, and Yellow Shy died." The Stand noted.
Spike gripped his fist, he knew what must be done, to do what needed to be do to live up to his dragon name and face FULL LIFE CONSEQU--- Well I just slapped with copyright infringement.
Nonetheless, Spike knew what had to be done, for he was to live up to his name and face BIG CONSEQUENCES!
Spike grabbed the Purple and Yellow Orb, and they launched toward their timeline
Chapter 2: Resolution
The whole entire concept of actually breaking through the space time continuum is a very painful process. It is worse than having fire ants bite your sensitive areas that have cactus needles stuck in them, while hot sauce is being poured on that same genital area. Its quite unpleasant, in both feeling and description, however why do I bring this up?
Well, to the surprise and knowledge of pretty much everyone in Ponyville, Mr and Mrs Cake are S&M fanatics. Mr Cake being the Masochist, and Mrs Cake being the Sadist, every day was some type of horrid sexual experience that was lieu for all ponies to view. So when I say that what Spike felt as he came through the space time continuum, was exactly the same feeling that Mr Cake was feeling as Mrs Cake was pouring the bowl of Fire Ants, and Hot Sauce, all over Mr Cakes cactus poked genitals.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU BITCH, UNNNNNNNNNNNNN HURT ME MORE........... SWEET FUCKING CELESTIA THAT FUCKING HURTS SO GOOD!"
Mr Cake was undiglating rapidly in his bondage hanging chains as Mrs Cake quietly giggled at the sight in her leather and lace BDSM outfit.
"Who's a good little man? Does this hurt you?"
"YES FUCKING YES THIS FUCKING HURTS GIMME MORE YOU FUCKING WHORE."
Mrs Cake swaggered over to Mr Cake shaking her rear side to side as she slammed her massive thighs on his face and began rubbing it side to side.
"Now now dearie, thats no way to talk to your mistress."
Mr Cakes screams were muffled by the suffocating flesh of his dominant wife.
THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN, Mr Cakes member began vibrating violently, well... more violently than usual. It glowed with a white light as suddenly Spike, the Purple Orb, and the Yellow Orb flew out of his tortured man groin, and feeling every bit of cactus, fire ant, and hot sauce all over them. Mr and Mrs Cake both moaned in agony and pleasure, they had finally given birth!
"AHHHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS IN MY EYES, NOOO AHHHH NOT THE ANTS! NOT THE ANTS! AHHHHHHHH" Spike screamed as he ran into a wall and knocked himself out.
The Yellow Orb laughed and said "10/10 reference I nearly peed"
The Purple Orb sighed and hovered toward Mr and Mrs Cake, Mrs Cake clearly out of energy, and Mr Cake with a full blown what kind of looks like one of those tropical flowers for a penis left.
"Uhhh Hi! Have you seen Pinkie Pie?"
Mrs Cake looked up slowly and smiled.
"Yes dearie, she's upstairs with her friends, they looked like something important was happening, isn't that right dear?"
"Imma name em.....Pistachio, Esteban....and Frank...." Mr Cake said in daze and shock.
Mrs Cake giggled and laughed,
"Now now dear, dont be so exhausted now, we have a part 2 to attend to."
Mrs Cake turned back to the Purple Orb.
"Now run along upstairs dearies, oh and feel free to help yourselves to some cookies in the top left shelf! They are Cinnanon Toast Crunch flavoured!"
"Thank you!" The purple Orb stated as she drug Spike who was still in agonizing pain as the Yellow Orb was hovering near his chest, trying to pull out cactus needles and fire ants from him. They went up the stairs as Mrs Cake waved them farewell.
"Now....WHERE WERE WE WELP?" Mrs Cake growled underneath her tongue as she mounted her husband and drove her thighs into his face."So.... Twilight. You and Fluttershy here are part of a crack operative team, along with Shining Armor, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Princess Cadence?"
Spike inquired between bites of his Cinnanon toast crunch cookie as the Yellow Orb was wrapping up his wounds.
"Well, yes, but that also includes Derpy Hooves, Discord, Bon Bon, Lyra, Zecora, that one unnamed guy who doesn't really have any talents..."
"BUT WHAT ABOUT ME HUH?"
Spike slammed down on the table.
"WHAT ABOUT SPIKE? THE GUY WHO IS ALWAYS THERE WHEN YOU NEED HIM MOST? THE GUY WHO ALWAYS PULLS THROUGH WHEN HIS FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE? WHERE'S MY RESPECT? WHERE'S MY IMPORTANCE IN ALL OF THIS?"
Spike hit a cabinet as a bag of flour toppled over his head followed by syrup, feathers, a bowling ball and also 3 sets of billiards balls.
The Purple Orb withheld a giggle as Spike pointed to her.
"Not a single word Twilight, I swear to God."
"umm... not to interrupt or anything you two... but I just watched us go into Pinkie's room.
Spike gulped, and clenched his fists as he looked at the Purple Orb and the Yellow Orb as he gave them multiple hand signals that really didnt mean anything at all and mostly just confused the two Orbs, and also the audience.
"Okay, on the count of three...."
"ONE..."
Spike braced himself.
"TWO..."
The Purple Orb began buzzing loudly
"TWO AND A HALF."
The Yellow Orb was wearing a fake moustache.
"THREE!"
Spike charged into the room right as a green light sprayed across the room.
"First I'll deal with you Fluttershy."
Pinkie Pie said as she grabbed the back of her chair, straddling her thighs above the now minaturized Fluttershy.
"PINKIE NO!!!!"
Twilight screamed as Pinkie thrust her mighty elastic cave untop tiny Fluttershy.
"FLUTTERSHY NOW!" Spike screamed as the Yellow Orb darted across the room and entered the miniature Fluttershy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM
Pinkie Pie grimaced a voracious grin as she swayed her thighs back and forth on the ketchup stain on her nethers. She grinded her cotton candy cunt all over and looked mirthfully down at Twilight who was in horror at what was happening.
"You're next Twilight." She laughed as she bounced up and down.
Spike and the Purple Orb blushed, as they both tried very hard to hide their erections.
"Ahhh..... that was nice, now to deal with you Twilight."
Pinkie Pie lifted herself from the chair and shashayed her rear right above Twilight. She threw her head back in laughter as her ginormus pink bottom began to descend on tiny Twilight.
"TWILIGHT, GO FOR IT!"
"I'M ON IT SPIKE!"
The Purple orb jetted off and entered Twilight right as the descending wall of Pink Gluteus fell upon Twilight. Pinkie Pie laughed again as she grinded her hips back and forth, doing the exact same as what she did to Fluttershy. Spike teared up,
"Oh Pinkie Pie, what the hell have you done? Whats gotten into you." he murmered under his breath, as Pinkie Pie bounced up and down.
Pinkie Pie finished as she was covered in sweat and other various fluids and pulled out a handgun and held it in her mouth.
"Ahh... that was nice, well sayonara girls....I'll see you in he.........WHAT THE HELL?"
Pinkie Pie dropped the gun as her jaw dropped. Twilight and Fluttershy were still alive and unfazed!
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed as she starting slamming her hooves on both tiny ponies, neither of each giving any sign of pain or suffering.
Then suddenly, Twilights and Fluttershy's eyes both began glowing as the flew in the air and began pummelting Pinkie Pie with ponyrific punches of painitude! It was like two hummingbirds beating up a bear! Spike cheered on for the two ponies as Pinkie Pie was launched behind her James Bond villian desk.Pinkie Pie crept up from behind the desk wiping blood from her mouth and began laughing.
"Ah, okay, so thats how it is, appairently I can't kill you with my own two hooves."
She slammed down on the table as her jaw ripped from the sockets and her mouth became a monstrous cavern fulled of spiked rows dagger like teeth.
"I'LL JUST HAVE TO SWALLOW YOU WHOLE!" she bellowed.
Pinkie Monster lunged towards to two airborne tinies as she snipped and bit at them. Every lunge was met with open air, as she screamed in frustration.
"Wha----WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Spike shouted from behind the door.
Pinkie Monster heard him and lunged toward the door, biting it right in half.
"OH HELLO SPIKE, CARE TO STOP FOR A BITE?" she said swallowing the splintery mess of doorway.
"RUNAWAY!" Spike comically said as he jumped in the air like Scooby Doo and dashed off before Pinkie Pie closed her jaws on his previous location.
This music starts playing for no reason
http://youtu.be/OavTXXrC2Bc [Embed]
Spike ran behind cabinets as Pinkie monster began chomping through them,
"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE COME OUT AND PLAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY"
Spike curled his head right as Pinki Monster lunged her jaws right through the cabinet where he was hiding. She poked her eye through the hole.
"FOUND YOU DELICIOUS LITTLE SPIKE!"
Her maw opened as the demon bellow erupted from her, suddenly two white lights knocked her right in the face as she flew down the hallway.Spike in a puddle of sweat and other various fluids got out of the cabinet as he walked slowly toward Pinkie Monsters broken body.
"Good work you two." Spike sighed as he poked Pinkie Pie.
"Of course Spike, you can always rely on your big sister to save the day."
"YOU DO NOT HURT MY FRIENDS, EVEN IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND!" Fluttershy screamed as she continued to kick Pinkie Pie.
Suddenly Pinkie Monster jumped up and grabbed both Tiny Twilight and Tiny Fluttershy as hung them by their tails above her voracious maw.
"HAAAAAAAAARHAAAAAAAR FOOLED YA!" Pinkie Monster laughed as she dropped the two tiny ponies into her mouth.
"TWILIGHT! FLUTTERSHY! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Pinkie Monster turned toward Spike, with an evil look on her monstrous face.
"OH I'M SORRY, THOSE WERE YOUR FRIENDS RIGHT? DON'T WORRY YOU'LL BE WITH THEM SOON!"
She swallowed rather dramatically pointing her hoof to the small bump descending into her stomach.
"AHH... THERE THEY ARE...NICE AND SAFE....NOT LIKE SOME DRAGONS I KNOW...."
Pinkie Monster puttered the floor with her hoof as she charged at Spike. Spike tried to run but to no avail, she lept on top of him, biting him repeatedly as Spike came face to face with the horrendous monster on top of him. Struggling to get out from underneath him he could smell the horror of her breath as saliva dripped from her hanging maw.
"YOU'RE A LITTLE BIGGER THAN THEY WERE, I'LL HAVE TO CHEW YOU UP A LITTLE MORE!"
Pinkie chortled as she lunged her mouth at Spike. Spike closed his eyes as he punched her stomach.
"AH!"
Pinkie Monster and Spike both looked down and saw that Spike had pierced through her stomach as acid and blood began dripping on the floor. Spikes fist vibrating instensly, as he looked back into Pinkie Monster.
"ha......ha........"
Pinkie laughed as she collapsed on the floor. Spike withdrew his fist and opened his claw, there was Twilight, and Fluttershy, slightly burnt from the stomach acids.
"SPIKE!" They both hugged his claw in relief.
"Oh my God Spike, you saved us!"
"Yeah, how did you do that Spike? Oh God, could you stop vibrating your arm its soooooooooooooooooooooooo..........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...."
Twilight estaticly moaned.
"I uf....can't!" Spike said as he looked down at the two tiny ponies.
SUDDENLY A PORTAL IN TIME WAS TOWRN OPENED AS A MASSIVE TENTACLE PULLED PINKIE PIE INTO IT!
Out of nowhere a Pink Orb came whistling past Spike and began bouncing excitedly.
"OH MY GOSH SPIKE HURRY HURRY HURRY! THAT'S THE STINKY DOODY HEAD WHO TOTALLY POSSESSED ME AND MADE INTO A SAD BANANA FO FANA AND MADE ME DO SO MANY HORRIBLE THINGS! AFTER HIM! SCHNELL SCHNELL DRAGON BORN!" The Pink Orb rambled as he began pushing Spike into the portal.
"W-w-w-w-ait P-p-p-p-p-pinkie! Do you even know where that thing goes?" Spike said trying to catch a breath.
"No idea, LETS GO!" The Pink Orb cheerfully said as she just jumped right in.
Spike looked at the portal and rolled his eyes. Suddenly a green light filled the room and Spike turned behind him. Twilight and Fluttershy were back to their normal little pony sizes.
"Twilight....Fluttershy....I'm so happy you two are alright."
The portal began sucking Spike in as Twilight and Fluttershy tried to hold him.
"Spike NO! You CAN'T DO THIS! STAY HERE! STAY WITH ME!" Twilight pleaded.
"Spike omigoshomigoshomigosh, please please please please be safe I dont want to see you hurt."
Spike smiled at his friends.
"Fluttershy, thank you, your the very first pony in Ponyville who ever seemed interested in me, and when I get back, I'll have even more stories to tell you."
Spike turned to Twilight.
"And Twilight, your the closest, I mean, you are the only family I have ever known, and I've always needed you to get by some of the most troublesome period of my life. But.... now, everyone needs me, and I can do this. So Twilight, please... let me go."
Twilight began welling up in tears as her grip became weaker, she embraced Spike as Fluttershy was trying to pull her back from the Portal.
"I'll see you again....Big Sister." Spike said as he let go of Twilight and threw himself into the portal. The portal slammed shut as Twilight and Fluttershy landed on their backs.
"It's a promise. Little brother."
Chapter 3: Revelation
Let me take a quick side glance and tell you something about timelines. You see, time works in a funny way. What happens in the past as the present, directly leads to the future events. What happens if you were to change certain events in the past? Would the future remain untainted or would you open a new door of possibilities? Would you cease to exist by changing a single thing? These are the questions pondered by many great men, and answered by very few.
"Uhhh... somehow that was even worse than being reborn from a fire ant cactus penis" Spike said as he gripped his head.
The Pink Orb bounced excitedly over and over again babbling
"Hey you finally made it you slowpoke magoo! Now we can totally have a LETS STOP TIME AND SAVE THE FUTURE PARTY! WHOO HOO!"
"Uh... Pinkie... where exactly ARE we?" Spike said looking around. The area around them was a space of emptiness, devoid of all light, of life. Below them lied a harrowing descent of nothingness, as such above them.
"Duh. This is Nothing Spike! Oooh oooh there I am!"
Spike turned around to where the Pink Orb was buzzing toward. Sure enough there was the broken body of Monster Pie shuffling towards an ignorant albeit excited Pinkie Pie.
"Hi! Are you a new friend because I love meeting new friends! Is this your house? Its super duper big and we can totally have a lot of fun here."
MonsterPie slammed her hoof into Pinkie Pie's mouth and slapped her away.
"NEW.....BODY.....MUST.....SHIFT...."
Suddenly MonsterPie began convulsing and breaking its own body, bones piercing through skin as her neck spun a full 360 degrees as the popping of her vertabrae echoed through the hollow nothingness. Pinkie Pie giggled and jumped to the horror show as she exclaimed
"I can do that too!" She began spinning her head 360 degrees and dislocating her joints.
"Look! We can be Vietnam buddies!" She puts on a fake beard and dreadlocks. "You ain't got no legs Lt. Dan! Aheeheehee snort"
Suddenly MonsterPie's body began slowly tearing from its seams as green/blue tentacles began erupting from every crevice of MonsterPie's body. Pinkie Pie sat down in amazement/fear as the towering behemoth began to emerge from the husk of her (unknown to her) future self. The beast stood 300 meters tall, and was the abomination of all nothingness embodied. Its wings spanned 700 meters in length, its legs covered in absolute horrors of eldrich abomination, spawning smaller titans from itself. Its eyes pierced through all realities of time, space and nothingness. Its tentaclued maw gurgled in a language incomprehensible, as it fidgeted its top hat and corn cob pipe.
This was the God of Nothingness, in its true form.
"Big.....Squiddy....guy...." Pinkie Pie stammered as her tail began twitching uncontrollably.
The Pink Orb began buzzing and flickering haphazardly, hitting Spike over and over again.
"THATS HIM! THATS HIM! THATS THE BIG STUPID MEANIE PANTS WHO TOTALLY TOOK OVER ME AND MADE ME DO THOSE HORRIBLE THINGS TO MY FRIENDS!!!!"
"Huh... so my brother god is to blame for all of this."
"HUH?" Spike and Pinkie exclaimed as they spun around, sure enough, The Stand was standing right behind them.
"What? As the God of Time, I have free realm of travel." It said as it spun its pocketwatch around.
"That dear friends is my brother, his name is imcomprehensible, so we call him Phil."
The Stand did the Super Bowl Shuffle as it gave more exposition.
" You see, along with he, and I, there is my sister, The Goddess of Life, we three are the driving force behind all reality. However, we really dont get along. Phil here wants everything to return to nothingness, Sia wants life to overbloom and become reality itself, and me?"
He stopped in the middle of doing the Charlie Brown.
"I just want things to proceed as usual."
"So that mean evil Phil guy is going to use my totally cute patooty to mess up the world? Why me Mister?"
The Stand crossed his arms and thought heavily.
"Well, its probably because of the whole, 'Chaos' thing. I mean sure, Discord would've seemed a better host, but honestly, none of your friends would trust Discord whatsoever, so you were the one he chose. No one would suspect you Pinkie, you are Lawful Chaos."
The Pink Orb finished her margarita and threw her Sombrero into the air saying "KOLSPEVICH!"
"Exactly" The Stand replied.
"So what are we going to do? There's no possible way we can beat a thing like that!" Spike said realistically.
"I mean, that thing is pretty much the personification of Cthulu."
"Thats true. Gods can't die if they exist in another timeline, but they can be wounded and dealt with in the present." The Stand said as it juggled three chainsaws and a human baby.
"How do we do that?" asked Spike.
"He's the God of Nothing Spike! Don't you see?" The Pink Orb exclaimed as she nuzzled Spike.
"Yeah, I think I do Pinkie!" Spike said.
Meanwhile, Phil, the God Of Nothingness let loose a demonic bellow that tore asunder the fabric of nothing around him as his spawnlings traveled through the wormholes. He pulled his mighty redwood forest of an arm back and began to plunge it into Pinkie Pie's still agape in shock mouth, when suddenly.
"HEY SQUIDWARD!"
Phil and Pinkie Pie both turned around comically and said "HUUUUUUH?"
"GET A LOAD OF THIS!" Spike bellowed as The Pink Orb landed on top of a boombox from the 90's.
"DO THE HARLEM SHAKE BOOMUHAWOOBAWUUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBB"
Spike began twerking his scaly rear in their general direction, in non stop gyro fashion. Phil and Pinkie Pie both looked at each other and blinked repeatedly.
"ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" Phil unleashed as he flung his taloned claw toward Spike and The Pink Orb, ripping asunder more fabric of Nothingness around him. Spike and The Pink Orb dodged as she hit the NEXT button.
"I'm so haaaaaaaaaaaaaapy happy go lucky me, I just come my way living every daaaaaaaaaay"
Phil covered his what could be defined as ears as he begin thrashing at The Pink Orb and Spike more and more, every swing met with another new horrible song, and also many Bjork tunes. The tears in Nothingness began growing wider and wider into holes, which began leaking Space Time into the void of Nothingness.
"Pinkie! Its working! He's destroying his own realm!" Spike said as he was ballet spinning to a Mandopony song.
"I'm just glad Twilight just has an awful taste in music!" The Pink Orb retorted. All of a sudden, a mighty creak could be heard from above, The Stand, Phil, The Pink Orb, Spike and Pinkie Pie all looked above them.
"Fuck." muttered Phil.
The entirety of Space Time collapsed on them completely wiping away the realm of Nothingness until it was somethingness. Galaxies, universes, all of creation was upon them, and as painful as it sounds, it really wasn't. More of a mindfuck really. The Stand grabbed Spike as The Pink Orb whizzed quickly to her body.
"Pinkie NO! You'll lose yourself amongst the bounds of reality!!!"
The Pink Orb giggled back.
"Oh Spike, I've seen this plenty of times before, it doesn't scare me one bit."
The Pink Orb descended into Pinkie's body, and both of them disappeared in an instant.
"Huh?" questioned Spike. "Where'd she go?"
Suddenly the massive claw of Phil wrapped around Spike and began hurdling him into countless of timelines and universes
Close your eyes Spike! A single mortal cannot into the logic of such things!" The Stand hollered.
"I CAN'T" screamed Spike as the maddening fractal of The Multiverse was being relayed to him, entire universes created and destroyed in front of his eyes in mere seconds as he was lunged past them by that crushing grip of abominable leviathan.
"I'm..... It's too much... I can't take it anymore!" Spike whimpered as he felt his mind beginning to slip.
"Why so serious Spikey?"
Spike opened his eyes, there was Pinkie Pie standing right in front of him.
"Yeah, why so serious Spikey?"
Said a second Pinkie Pie who jumped out from behind of the first Pinkie Pie. Spike rubbed his eyes, at the sight. Suddenly more and more Pinkie Pies began popping up from all areas of Space Time around Spike. SpiderPie, KangarooPie, VelocoraptorPie, LocomotivePie, PinkieDoor, and oddly enough StaunchConversativePoliticianPie were just some of the notable Pinkie Pies that came from multiple universes. The count the number of Pinkie Pies would be impossible, for how can you count the number of atoms in a single universe, let alone all universes? (Besides, the number is times 200 of whatever that number would be anyway)
"Yeah, I've definately lost my mind." Spike muttered.
Suddenly Phil pummeled into the universe where all the Pinkies and Spike were. It lifted its mighty skyscraper of a leg to crush the countless ponies beneath him. To which he was met with the resistance of a gorillian Pies.
Pinkie Pie, (well, the one who was The Pink Orb) turned around and gave Spike a wink.
"Now this is how we party!"
"PINKIES!!!! ASSEMBLE!!!" she screamed to her fellow Pinkienites.
Suddenly the wave of Pink began convluging and building upon each other, slowly forming two legs, a belly and rump, a fluffy pink tail, a strecthy head, two arms, a curly mane, and finally the smiling face we all know and love.
She was the height of 20 universes by 20 universes a titan compared to Phil
Pinkie Pie took in the gaze from her now multiversed sized body. She looked down and somehow was able to notice Spike.
"HI SPIKE!" She happily proclaimed as she wove to him. Back down where Spike was, all he heard a the Pink sky above say "HI SPIKE" for whatever reason he waved back.
Then, her gaze was directed toward Phil, who was just a little bit bigger than Spike in her eyes.
"So, YOUR the big meanie who thinks he can just waltz on all over my other mes dont you? Well TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME MISTER!" Pinkie Pie shouted.
She lifted her hoof, and drove it on top of Phil, lifting it and then dropping it again, mashing and twisting her hoof everytime.
Meanwhile back in Spike vision, The Pink sky suddenly fell on the massive beast in front of him, and then rose up again, and then back down, sending ripples that flung Spike back with every impact.
"WHOOOOOOHAHOOOOOO WATCH WHERE YOUR STEPPING PINKIE!" cried Spike.
Back to Pinkie Vision. "And one for good measure!" Pinkie turned around and began lowering her multiversed sized booty unto Phil.
Back to Spike Vision. Spike looked up at the Pink Sky, and suddenly saw two round galaxies descending from above. Oh crap, Pinkie is sitting.
" OH DEAR GOD I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!"
"Not today Spike." The Stand said as he grabbed Spike and teleported him to Pinkies muzzle.
A massive THUD could be heard and a rumbling that even shook the foundries of the fortress of Pinkie Pie.
"Ahh... That should do it!" Pinkie said as she scooted her butt back and forth. "Hee hee hee, that tickles!"
Spike waved to her "Pinkie! Holy crap I didn't know you could become an entire universe?"
"What do you mean Spike? I'm normal sized and so are you!"
"Huh what?" Spike turned his head back and forth, as Pinkie said, they were normal sized.
"But but, the universe, space time, PHIL!" Spike stammered.
"Oh you mean this?" Pinkie held a small pink ball in her hoof.
"Is that...what...how....I mean... HUUUUUUUUH?" Spike stammered.
"I try not to think about it too much Spike." Pinkie exclaimed as she threw the pink ball into her mouth and began chewing.
"Mmmmmmmmmmm! Razzleberry!" she happily proclaimed as she swallowed. Spikes head continued to try and comprehend what he had just saw, but decided to let it go when the Stand touched his shoulder and shook his head.
"So... what now Pinkie?" Spike asked as his headache began to subside.
"I'm going back to Ponyville Spike, what about you?" Spike pondered for a second, as suddenly as a portal appeared right in the middle of Pinkie Pies belly.
"Guess we'll find out!" Pinkie Pie laughed as she grabbed Spike and threw him into her portal.
Pinkie Pie zipped up the portal with a zipper and then unzipped space time behind her as she walked into her room in Sugarcube Corner and layed on her bed.
"BURP" she loudly belched as she rubbed her belly.
"Musta been something I ate." She curled up and began to fall asleep.
Spike and The Stand continued to fall through Space Time, as Spike did his best to keep his eyes closed.
"No no Spike, keep your eyes open for this." The Stand pointed to him.
Nervousally, Spike opened one of his eyes to behold Phil, jumping from universe to universe roaring in frustration at his rejection from each one.
"Gods can't be killed Spike, but they can be imprisoned." The Stand repeated.
"So...Pinkie....ATE A GOD?" Spike realized quickly.
"Funny, he wanted to possess her, and be inside her body. Now he is in her, forever, bound to the fate of exile, being able to take form of nothing."
The Stand forlornly said.
"Farewell brother."
The Stand pulled his pocketwatch out of his pocket and dialed it to 11:59.
"How are we supposed to escape from this?" Spike inquired.
"Simple, we turn back the clock." the Stand said as he slapped the face of the watch close.
Suddenly, Spike came face to face with a kitchen table, a refridgerator with a badly drawn picture that read. "Brother, Sister and Me," and a telephone hanging from the wall.
"Where in the wide wide world of sports are we now?" asked Spike.
"Home." replied the Stand.
He lifted his hand to his mouth
"Hey Sia!" he cried out.
A white figure stepped out from the refridgerator and sat at the kitchen table.
"No. Fucking. Way." Spike exclaimed in amazement.
"Hello dearest Brother, hello dearest Spike. How are you on this glorious day?
"PRINCESS CELESTIA?" Spike exclaimed in awe.
My Big Horse: Full Life Consequences
ONES AH POND AYE THYME.
CHAPTER 1: BEGUNNINGS
Twilit Spark was doing thing of in her house of Ponyville and all things were good until Pricess of Celest came down from sky and say "Twilit, we has prubblem, Come with of me to the forest" So Twilit and Celest flew to forest were no one was there and Celest sat down on leaf and say
"Fluttshy is doing thing!"
"OH NO NOT THING!"
"Ewe must stops her fastly, or all QuestriaLand will be of destory"
Celest flew into space and than become sun.
Twilit could not belief her friend Fluttshy was doing thing, because thing is not good thing to thing. But no matters Twilit teleportaled using her portaltele magic and landed on her best friend/cow-orker Spik. Spik say to her "WATCH WHERE YOU LANDS ON ME. JUST KIDDING"
HAHA they laughed.
BUTS ALL O THE SUDDENS.
Thing Fluttshy do hapen and then send out raditators and Twilit hide and say "You must escape out from here fastly Spik"
But Spik was already blown to smitheroons
CHAPTER 2: A GREAT BIG PONY
MEANWHILE AT FLUTTSHY PLACE HOUSE
Fluttshy shook head and say. "It feels like I am of feeling silly in the place of my head it does" Then Fluttshy look down and say "I am giant wut now?"
Fluttshy strecthed her legs and kicked over her house, which made her sad because now she was houseless giant with no place to live. Ranbaor Dash fly from cloud and say to Fluttshy.
"WOW 20% BIGGER SWAG LELELELELELELELELELELELEL"
This made Fluttshy ultra angry because she was not a kind giant. like Happy Green Giant but she was angry giant like Remarkable Hulk and JesusZilla. Fluttshy grabbed Ranboar by the wing and looked with much lost in her eye and think. "GIVE ME THE BUTTER" then open her mouth and put Ranboar in there and then close her mouth.
Ranboar say "20% more tasty SWAG LELELELELELELEL" but then Fluttshy swallowed Ranboar hole and then Ranboar went into Fluttshy stomach and fly round and Fluttshy rob her belly and say "I guess I do eat mares" but no one in audience laughed so Fluttshy pooped in the river and made all the beavers mad.
CHAPTER 3: STUFF HAPPENSINGS
OrangeBill sense her husband was eat, and cry for bit, but then cheer up because remember that she could be safe using Orange based Technology. OrangeBill climbed into her conviently placed Orange submarine that could fly utilizing the hidden quantum mechanisms of oranges, and say
"HOLD ON RANBOAR, MOMMAS COMING"
And then OrangeBill pilot submarine into the GANT BUTT of Fluttshut. Fluttshy felt some things in her butt and gasped when it actually went into her butt, but then she laugh because it no compare to real butt pleasure that was her dragon dilt do.
Fluttshy when go into town of Ponyburg and began paging ramps because that is what all giant pones do when they have a little bit of opprotunity. Twilit feel sad because her town of home was being destoryed by her friend and Ranboar was eat, and the Sweetie Flank Explorers, Scatamoo, WatermelonBlossom and Salty Bassoon die when Fluttshy sat on them, right after they just got their Sweetie Mark in being throwaway one shot gag characters. Twilit look to sun and say
"Why Princes Sun? Why let do this?"
The sun say nothing because it is star and not more, but then ALL OF SUDDENS. A rambling from Soury Sphere Section, and then a GIANT PLINKO PIE ROBOT FROM SPACE CAME. Real Plinko, being Plinko etered the giant robot and was all like Kamina and say to Gant Fluttshy, who was busy eating Mare Mayor, Bon Bon Horowtiz, and If Im Lyra Im Dyra Hartstrings.
"FLUTTSHUT, YOU HURT ALL MY FRIENDS, AND YOU HURT TWILIGHT TOO PREPARE TO DIE"
Fluttshy threw her head back and flung her meals into her open mouth and swallow hole and look back at Plinko and say "COME AT ME BRO"
CHAPTER 4: THE ENDS?
MEANWHILE IN STOMACH OF FLUTTSHY
OrangeBill finally made it there, and turn on her headlights to look for Ranboar, and turns out everything was okay, because pony acids aren't used to digest meat, and so everyone who was eat, was just taking bath in Mountian Dew, but they were like, enh we've dealt with worse. OrangeBill open her pit cock and say "Ranbaor, comes into me if you want life" Ranboar then fl to OrangeBill and say "NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD COMES EARLER" Everyone laugh with the audience as trombone plays WOP WOP WOPPPPPPPPP So Ranboar climb into submarine with OrangeBill and they kiss and say "LETS DITCH THIS ONE HORSE HORSE" and they flew way even though they probably could have taken more ponies with them considering it was big submarine, but they had to catch up on Golden Girls because it was episode were Blanche finally got a dicking from Captian Kangaroo and Dr Rogers. For goggles OrangeBill shot two photon missiles into Fluttshy duodednum, making her have make poo.
Fluttshy, feeling tire from her epic fight with Giant Plinko Bot which was too awesome to write about or animate hold her belly and say "Oh no my duodednum" and she rushed to bend over which happen to be right on top of Tricky's cart thing when Tricky when taking a bath.
"I am Tricky, nothing bad happen today to Tricky, because Tricky am great."
Tricky go outside to dry her hair when Fluttshy began pooping.
"OH NO" say Tricky "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO TRICKY?"
But then she was silence when massive poo storm fall on her and Tricky was pooed on. Everyone laughed hard, and everyone who was in stomach of Fluttshy wasin the poo and they were okay. OrangeBill and Ranboar flew out of Fluttshy butt and flew into space where they became Princess and King of OrangeWorld. Fluttshy pooed so much she become normal size and say "I'm sorry everyone, but looks like I've been really shitty"
Everyone hug and say "It okay" and then they all party in the poo,
EPILUGE:
The Sweetie Flank Explorers came back to live after annoying Satan too much, Tricky was at bottom of poo pile underneath everyone saying "When Tricky get out of here, wait, is this corn? WHEN TRICKY GET OUT OF HERE TRICKY WILL END YOU ALL" but then was silence because of the pooing ponies on top of her. Twilit covered in poo and friendship say "Spik take letter to Princes Sun, Dear Princes Sun, today was fucking wierd, and poo feels gud, your faf full stew in dents, Twilit Spark"
But Spik was stil dead, Princes Sun never got the letter.
MEANWHILE IN BITTERORANGE HECTACRES
WatermelonBlossom look at Salty Bassoon and say, How is your sister?
Salty Bassoon say
"She is busy doing something...."
Scatamoo say
"Wait, didn't thing just do thing with Fluttshy?"
AND THE A GIANT RUMBLING CAME FROM CANNOTRENTORLOT.
TO BE CONTINUED?
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My Big Horse: Full Life Consequences
Book 5: I am so ashamed of what I have written, please point at me and laugh
Tim.... let me explan to you tim. Tim is a force that rans neither forwards or not forwards. It is simply a force that is at all tims, you can say all moments are an ebber present state of tim, a constant present. Thorough this, all pasts, presents and not presents all exist withins a boobles, free to transverse with the carrot methods. Now, these tims on their own would mast lukely brench off and becums there own existances, but there are Guds to prevent such things. A Gud of Lif that gives birth unto new timlines, and a Gud of Nothingness that resets timlines to nothingness. Through these two, all thongs mast and will flow. Howebber, there is a third Gud, neither allied nor enemyfied with these Guds, and that is the Gud of Tim. He is ebber present, and just perhaps, he holds a secret grooder than even he himselfs nose.CHAPTER 1: POLITICAL COMMENTRAY-TRAY DIDNT DO NUFFIN!
Spik store into the ever growing abyss of spacetim in front of him, it was truly a wonderment to hims eyes. From this point he could see timlines that were occuring right that very moment. Kind of like that scene from Space Odessy 2000 with the fractal, but every little pixel was filled with events from other timlines and unnverses. The entire sight for Spik was bottling, as he shok hims hod.
"Ugh, I ams not used to seeing such sights."
The Stand chuckled, and patted the little dragon.
"Yes, it is confusing to think about. Thats why I simply dont think." He looks to the audience as Vote Obama 2016 fades into the lower half of the screen and he winks giving a thumbs up.
Spik puked a little at seeing a particular timline where disgusting monkey filth were essentially sucking each other cocks in horse costumes while eating spaghetti off a terrible purple coloured tinkers deformed penis hole.
"Yes, that is the timline of Bronycon 2013, a horrible sight indeed"
Spik reeled as the purple monstronsity cried out loud. "OH HO HO HO EEPA NO WOOKIE DAN DERE SOLO? HO HO HO" as it began shoving the filthy horse costumed monkeys into its voracious butchered penis.
The pink orb chimed.
"AND THATS HOW EQUESTRIA WAS MADE!"
Everyone laughed and said 5/5 epic post.
Spik looked round trying to found his next destinytion to land in, he saw the Kangaroo universe where everyone was a Hippo, he saw the Dragon Universe where he was a Princess, he saw the animu universe where there was only fat greasy weeaboo fucks, he saw the /mlp universe where there was only fat greasy horsefucker fucks.
"I dund nose where I has to go!"
The Stand smriked, and pointed to some random place in spacetim,
"There Spik, follow your fronds"
"What do you men?"
But before Spik could say an knees things, The Orange Orb and the Rainbow jetted past him, pulling him through some magic bullshit fairy orb nonsense that I dont feel like explaining.
"C'mon pardner, lets go save the day!"
said the Orange one as they began to accelerate,
"Yeah, besides, who else better than my stand in to save the day?"
The Rainbow one chimed in as they fired into fucking GigaHyperSpace and went so fast they turned Plaid.
Meanwhile elsewhere in another timline Mel Brooks looks up from his newspaper, shakes his head and goes back to his newspaper. "Fucking faggots"
Chapter 2: Detrott, The City that we built this city on ROCK AND ROLL was based off of, so yeah, its a horrible place that only produces horrible things.
Anudda pull away from the story here, let me explain to you tim travel with the help of my lovely assistant Ms Califlour Pussy, owner of Califlour Farm located next to BitterHectacre Fields. If you could Ms. Califlour?
"I'd be delighted to Mr...."
"Anon is good for right now dear."
"Alright Mr Anon, you see, Tim Traveling requires a certain amount of fours to break through the spacetim continuum. You see by accelerating at a rate faster than the current timline or universe permits, you essentially escape and become sepearates from its. This leds you to a place known by little, and for some reason myself included as the "Simmealius", this centre point is comprims of all things, and it is part of all of us as well. To return or jump from tim to tim is neigh impossible due to the countless amount of universes and timlines that exist, howebber if one has a will, and a magic strong enough to navigate the Simmealius, they can essentially jump back into their own timlines, albiet at different tims. The amount of fours needed to escape the Simmealius however, are just as great as needed to enter the Simmealius."
"Thank you Ms. Califlour Pussy, you've been very informative."
"Thank you Mr Anon, now can I please take this blindfold off my head and go home to my family now?"
"No, we still have alot more story to cover, now stop whining and put your gag back in."
"Mmmmpmpmpmpmhhhhh!"
Getting back to the story, like Ms Califlour Pussy just stated, it takes an incredible fours to leave the space tim continuum and return to a point of tim.
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Cried Spik, Rainbow Orb and Orange Orb as they decelerated over the city of Detrott causing multiple shokwaves that mad deaf people blind and blind people deaf. They blew through two towers which somehow made another tower 5 miles out collapse and made an eagle cri as a Jewish Man cam out and said "Oy Vey, Its anudda Shoah!" Spik was literally flying at the speed of a Boeing 747, as he crash landed right into an Octagon shaped building.
"Ow ow ow, my fucking head." Said Spik,
as he was jarred from the landing that instituted a confusing color coded system across Equestria.
"God thing I landed on sumthing soft."
Spik look down at what he landed on, and it was a holy fuck I can't believe I'm fucking going here, a baboon holding Watermelon Flavoured Arkansas Drink, and a bag of Rainbow Stittles. Spiks face dropped,
"Oh shit.... I sure hope no one saw that."
Spik look up, and there were a hundred billion baboons around him looking in digust, shock and awe.
He had landed at the NAABBB headquarters (National Association for the Advancement of Blue Butt Baboons"
Spik got up, as the Orange orb chuckled and said,
"Good thats one less monkey we gotta deal with."
The Rainbow one chimed in
"I felt threatened anyway"
Spik got up sheepishly and shrugged and shyly laughed.
"Ha ha... uh... so two ponies walk into a bar..."
"MUH BABBY!" A massively large baboon mother came screeching in from the front of the pack and held the poor ded babby in her hands and shouted.
"WHY GUD WHY? MUH BABBY DIDNT DO NUFFIN"
The Baboons all screeched in unison
"DIDNT DO NUFFIN"
A preacher baboon came from the front of the pack and gathered all the baboons around the ded babby.
"Lard, I say I say I pray to you tonite, that oe of our esteemed, our beloved and most sacred has ben taken into your kingdom tonite"
More cries of "DIDN DO NUFFIN" and "FUCK WHITEY" from the crowd.
" I say I say, we as a community must stand tall and proud, and face the problem hed on, and tak maters into ou own two hands."
The mother baboon still cried as she signed autographs of the ded babbts picture and trademarked his name.
"I say I say unto thee Lard, that our path be right, and it be holy! And what we must do must be done!"
The crowd in unison said "Amen"
Spik started sweating profusely, as the horde of Baboons crowded around the little dragon smirkly evilly and chuckling.
"WE GON GET CHOO"
"MM YEAH YOU IN IT SO BAD little man
The reverend went up to Spik and Spik close his eyes and knew it was over.
Spik waited the merciless beating from the Baboon community, but he didnt feel a thing. He opened one of his eyes, and saw all the Baboons kneeling in front of him.
"We forgive you brother." They chanted in unison.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"
Spik Rainbow Orb and Orange Orb said al at ones.
The reverend got up and held Spiks clows.
"You see son we in the Baboon Community are working hard to fight the negative stereotype that is placed us that we ourselves have prepetuated repetuated and magnificated unto our own selves."
Several of the Baboons looked away in shame.
"We are not an angry community of violence nor are we stereotypical cardboard cutouts like some political cartoon. We are a community of family and while we mourn the lost of one of our own we know mistakes happened.
"And that is what happened. A tragic, but honest mistake. Our brother may have done nothing..."
DIDN DO NUFFIN! *SMACK* OW! What the fuck Jamone?
"But it was in the Lard's work, and the Lard asks us to forgive each other of our trangressions."
AMEN said the baboon crowd in unison.
Spik shuffled akwardley "So your not going to beat me to a bloddy pulp and rip out my intestines and break my bones into a bloddy mess?"
Orange orb chirped in.
"Ya aint gonna be savage shit flinging monsters that follow no law?"
Rainbow orb jumped in
"You arent going to be niggers about this?"
The horde laughed heavily,
"Good heavens no child, that is the very thing we are trying to defeat! We must rid ourselves of this terrible image!"
Spik laughed as well with everyone there.
"Oh good, I thought you were going to have a chimp out, ahahahahahaha."
The entire room was silent as Spik continued laughing.
The reverend furrowed his brow as steam begun escapping his head.
"What the fuck did you just say you little bitch?"
Spik open his eyes, and said.
"Uhh....Chimp....out?"
SUDDENSLY ALL THE BABOONS BEGUN FLIPPING TABLES AND THROWING SHIT AT EACH OTHER AND BEGIN DEMOSLISHING THEIR OWN NEIGHBOURHOOD.
The Reverend grabbed Spik by the neck as screamed at him The reverend grabbed a hold of Spik by the neck and screamed at him. What the fuck did you just fucking say about us Baboons, you little bitch? I’ll have you know we evolved at the top of our genetic niche in the primate world, and we’ve been involved in numerous advancements in Equestria, and we have over 300 Billion confirmed members. We are trained in gorilla warfare and we are the top primate race in the entire Equestria nation. Chimpanzees are nothing to me but just another lesser kind. I will wipe you the fuck out with baboon skills the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to us in our house? Think again, fucker. As I speak I am commanding my legions of baboon followers across Equestria and your blood is being hunted right now so you better prepare for the storm, faggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. We can be anywhere, anytime, and we can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with our baboon asses. Not only are we extensively trained in unarmed combat, but we have access to the entire arsenal of race baiting and broken heart politics and we will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. We will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Rainbow Orb laughed and said.
10/10 copypasta
As the Baboons continued to riot and steal valuables from local shops, Spik was losing consciouness, and fastly. The Reverend was smashing Spik up and down over and over again as suddenly another flash of light in the sky came crashing down on the Octagon shaped building.
"OH SHIT BABBO!"
The Orange Shaped Pink Spacecraft crash landed into a giant horde of Baboons who were showing off who had the bigger tricked out banana carts. The hatch opened, As OrangeBill and Ranboar Desh stepped out and said.
"Next tim we stop and ass for directions"
A random Baboon played a trombone "WHOP WHOP WHOOMMMMMMMMMMMM"
Orangebill said "HOLY SHIT A DIRTY CHIMP" and shot him in self defense.
All the raging Baboons looked at Orangebill and Ranboar.
"KILL PONEY"
As they started gathering round the ded body of the babby baboon chanting
"WE ARE TROYVAN MATIN"
Suddenly they began clumping together to make a giant Baboon community Baboon with a raging Baboon cock, and lunged at the two pones. It grabbed the two pones in its massive smelly hands and beat its chest in primal rage.
"MMM.... HOT PONEY BITCH GUN FEEL GOOD IN MAH DICK."
Ranboar luk at OrangeBill and held her hand,
"Gudbyes my luf"
Orangebill said
"I love yo----"
But They were muffled as the two were inserted into the giant raging baboon community cuk as it beat it chest screaming its victory.
Spik scremed.
"ORANGEBILL, RANBOAR NO!!!!"
The Orange Orb and Rainbow Orb both fluttered and said.
"NOWS OUR CHANCE!"
As they flew into the still rampaging Giant Baboon communitys cock, and melded into their bodies.
Suddenly a rumbling came from the Giant Baboon Communitys Cock, as it began to frown.
"W-whut?"
Orangebill and Rainboar exploded out of the Cuk, shattering it into little tiny pieces as it screamed.
" MUH DICK!"
OrangeBill and Ranboar looked at Spik and smiled.
"Thank you Spik,"
said OrangeBill
"Yeah, way to go little guy!"
The Giant Baboon community was still screaming in anger and agony from its now exploded cuk, as it lunged for OrangeBill and Ranboar.
They both glowed as there eyes went white.
"By The Ancient Powers of The Freindly Skeleton" Orangebill stated
"And by the Wizardly Powers of The Shark...."
Ranboar added.
Suddenly the room became a strip club and OrangeBill and Ranboar began stripping on a pole as The Giant Baboon Community and Spik look on and say "Ohhhhhhhhhhh"
"Oh wicked souls who has haunted this earth" Ranboar said taking off her saddle
"May you know the power of a magic ungifted to you."
Orangebill took off her incredibly sexy hat.
"We are high class angels sent to destroy you!"
FLY AWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Spik clapped at the reference as the Giant Baboon Community was like "Wut" and lunged after the two pones.
"OrangeBill!"
"GOTCHA SUGERCUBE!"
OrangeBill dodged the giant fist and began slicing with her incredibly sexy hat at the Baboon creature, as she did little tiny baboons began falling out and kicking OrangeBill in the shins.
"Ew, fucking disgusting" She said as she stomped them all to a ketchupy mess.
"Oh Ranboar, watch out!"
Ranboar jumped aside as the Giant Baboon tried to bite her as she turned around and shot like Infinity plus 1 bullet into its ugly face. Little baboons falling at every time a bullet hit.
Spik cheered on from the sidline but then notice that the Giant Baboon Community was morphing a wepon from its backside
"ORANGEBILL, RANBOAR! LUK OUT!"
But he was suddensly muffled by a thousand little baboons each screeching " Muh dick, muh entitlements, fuck you consolidate your writings on a pastebin you mother fucker cocksucker I cant fucking read into a lampoon of our own fucking fandom because Im a cunt and we have material on the thread and I suck cocks"
Spik bit down on them and kilt no one except for the complaining shitposter who wasted precious precious thread space.
hows it feel nigger?
Ranboar and OrangeBill smiled and say
"By The Powers of Don "The Best" West, and by Mark "The Shark" O'Mara, GET FUCKING WREKT."
The Giant Baboon Community screeched at the two ponesas it pulled its secret wepon and it was a giant club made out of smaller clubs and also a gun, and it was swung to the two pones.
OrangeBill threw her incredibly sexy hat at the creature, as Ranboar shot the hat 7 billions times as the bullets stuck to OrangeBills hat like glu to paper. The hat burst into the chest of the Giant Baboon Community and then exploded its 7 billion bullets into it.
The Giant Baboon Community sudden turned into styrofoam and was held on strings and then exploded in slow motion as it screamed.
"M-muuh diiiiiiiiiiick!"
Thousands of thousands of miniaturized baboons fell from the sky with cheesy x's for eyes implying tht they were ded. Ranboar and OrangeBill kiss as Spik ran up to them.
"Way to go you guys!"
They high seven'd, and smiled, but then suddenly Spik began fading away.
"Oh, no... It seems... I have to go now."
OrangeBill placed her hat on Spik.
"Go get em Pardner."
Ranboar nooged Spiks head.
"Yeah, give em your best little man!"
Spik faded away into Space Tim again.
Orangebill look with most Lust into Ranboar Deshs eyes and said.
" I want to cum inside of you."
The reverend climbed out of the pile of dead miniaturized baboons and was miniature himself and tried to sneak off unnoticed.
The two pone kiss, and this infuriated him.
"HOMOSEX IS AGAINST THE LARDS TEACHINGS!"
Ranboar Desh was like a cat, and pounced on the Reverend,
"Oh, you havent even began to see Homosex yet."
Ranboar crouched down into her famous position and OrangeBill picked the Reverend up with her moff and put the Reverend into the Gaping Maw of the Rainbow Sarlaac.
"THIS IS ABORATTION, THIS IS SIN, THIS IS SPART----"
OrangeBill slammed her Orange based cunt into Ranboars over and over again muffling the cries of the frantic reverend.
Up in the Sky George Zimmerman and Christopher Dorner looked on with smiles and high fived for the Lesbian Horse Sex.
