Convenient

A loud thud snatched me away from my dream. As I sat up straight and noticed the bottom of my mother's pink sandals poking themselves across the threshold of my bedroom. I also found that i was sleeping of the floor of my room for some reason. I looked over my shoulder and saw the cyan Pegasus still waking up in my bed. I slowly started to realize that my dream wasn't that, but the events yesterday. Rainbow Dash still half asleep, reached for a glass of water that she probably usually had on her nightstand. When her reach was blocked with a lamp, she rubbed her eyes vigorously trying to get herself to gain full consciousness. She then sat up and scanned her surroundings. Seeing me on the ground, she also realized that yesterday was not a dream. Dash then saw my mother's feet and we both concluded that she was unconscious.

I looked at my mother then back to Dash then back to my mother. "Ugh, back burner." I looked up to Dash, who had a worried look on her face due to the fact she made my mom faint. "You generally know how to use a bathroom,right?" Dash just looked at me with a confused expression. "Like the toilet and the shower?"

"What?" She said, raising an eyebrow.

"Does that mean no? Please do not take a crap in my bed, please"

"It means I don't get the question, why is your toilet inside your house? It must smell horrible unless you empty it every time!" She looked as though she was disgusted at the thought of having a toilet inside.

"Why would I empty it? What the hell are you talking about?" then it dawned on me that they might not have had pluming to their toilets. "Hold up a sec, do you all just use outhouses?"

"Whats the difference in our thing and yours?" Dash asked, her curiosity peeked.

"We don't have to empty our toilets, they do it for us. It goes into sewers which other people whose job it is then empties it I think." I explained.

"So you don't ever have to clean out your toilet?" The pony pegasus questioned. By her expression i could tell that she thought I was lying.

"I have never once had to clean out my toilet."

"That's bull! OK then, Jack show me this magic toilet of yours!" She said with a smug look on her face that was exited to call my bluff.

"OK then, follow me to my bathroom. While your there you might want to shower before my mom comes to and my brother and dad sees you." As we both got up and slinked over my sleeping mother, I heard my brother come in through the garage door. We were then in the bathroom on the second floor right outside my room.

"See, a modern, average toilet!" I declared as the pony eyed it suspiciously.

"Why is there water in the bottom of it? Dude, did someone just use it? That's sick!" Dash looked away as if there was a shit already in it.

"What? No! it's just water, go ahead and use it then if you don't believe me!" I challenged as i walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

"Is this thing going to suck me in it or something?" She yelled from inside the bathroom.

"It's not THAT strong, just do whatever you need to do then pull the handle to make it flush!" I snapped getting annoyed.

About five minuets later she opened the door and i saw her looking puzzled. "How...How do I make it go away? She asked embarrassed.

I sighed and walked into the bathroom and stopped at the toilet when i noticed something weird. "This isn't going to very gentlemen-like but did...did you..piss a rainbow?" I looked down to the toilet and saw that it was a rainbow clouding the normally clear liquid at the bottom of the bowl.

"Dude, are your seriously asking me about that right now?" Her face turning a crimson red from embarrassment.

"Fine, whatever, but you should take that as a complement, even your body fluids are awesome looking." I said as i pulled the lever to flush the toilet. "See what i tell you, gone."

"Your soooo weird, but, that toilet is pretty cool though, i have to admit." Trying to not think about that I was just admiring her pee.

"Seems like our world is much more advanced then yours." I said as i walked out back out of the bathroom. I looked back and saw that she was giving me a glare. "What, it's true. Do your other pony people even have cars?"

"Whats that?" Letting her curiosity peek again.

"Well, since Humans don't have WINGS, we don't get places that fast. We invented cars to travel a lot faster then we could if we ran." Dash just looked at me like i was high. " Fine, ill show you but first we should deal with my family first."

"I feel like that will be awkward...."

"yup... its going to be." I said as we came to my mother still unconscious in the hallway.

"How exactly do you think they will react?" She asked as we both stared at my mom on the ground.

"I assume not pleasantly. I'm hungry though so lets get it over with." I started to pick my mom up.

I heard my brother clumsily carry their suitcases inside, smashing into the walls. I was nervous to see how my family would take to the cyan pegasus. I glanced over to see if i could read her expression, i could tel that she was still confused and worried about just being in this world. "What ever brought you here will fix itself sooner or later, don't worry about it."

She just game me a weak smile as we started down the hall to the stairs. "What if it doesn't though? What if i'm stuck here forever?" Her fake smile faded away and her rose colored eyes were tearing.

"It won't, even though i wouldn't mind you staying, ill help in any way that i can to help you get home." I said trying to stop her from crying. "As long as your here though might as well have some fun though." Thoughts of talking her to school with me popped into my mind. It would be awesome to mess with my friends and teachers.

"We can talk more about this after you deal with your family. Judging by the way your mom reacted this is going to suck." The pony stared at my mom, whom i was carrying over my shoulder.

I set my mom down on the couch and then sat down on the opposite side. "HEY DOUCHE-FAG, GET IN HERE!" I called to my brother. I looked over at Dash, She thought that the insult was harsh. I was surprised that she knew what it meant. "And so it begins..."

"Hold on, you little faggot!" called my brother from the garage.

"He's such a butt hole." I turned to Dash. "By the way, you didn't seem surprised at the shower. I assume that you had showers before?"

She looked around the room and tried to ignore me when i brought up the subject. "Dash?"

"hmm?" She replied.

"Shower?"

"Whats up?"

"Bathing yourself?" I wondered when the last time she actually cleaned herself was.

"Never been a big fan." She sighed still trying to avoid my gaze.

"Fair enough, but when i can see the nasty or smell it, you are going to clean yourself." I looked behind me to see if my brother was coming yet. "You can clean yourself, yes? You don't exactly have fingers."

"Is that what on the end of your arms? I was wondering what those freaky tentacle things were. What are they even for?" She asked.

"They are called fingers, want to see a magic trick?" I walked over the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle out of our fridge. "Oh my god! One handed!" I tossed the bottle of water over to her. She caught it with both her hooves.

"Ok, fine i can see where they are useful. Still though, they look like tentacles." She admitted while grinning.

I sat down while giving her a smirk. "Anyway, whens the last time you bathed yourself?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

She looked up to the ceiling, pondering the question. "umm...I donno... about four days ago? "

"That is disgusting! All of you take that long to take a shower?"

"Not exactly... Most shower daily. As i said before, i'm not a big fan."

"Ugh...so i'm going to have to wash you like I did with my dogs." I said as Dash was contemplating about how to open the water bottle that I tossed her.

"How's that?" She asked, tilting her head.

"If it gets to that point, Ill have to sneak up behind you and drag up up those stairs. Then I think ill either lock you in the bathroom until you do it yourself or ill have to wash you as i did for my dogs. They didn't have rational thought though so that wasn't that awkward, I would be weird with you though." I explained while staring her down.

"I'd like to see you try." She said with a grinned that pretty much challenged me. "CELESTIA! How do you get this thing open!" She yelled as the water bottle she was trying to open slipped out of her hoofs to my feet.

I bent over and picked the bottle of water up, and twisted the top. I opened it in under two seconds and then handed it over to Rainbow Dash. Then i sat back down giving her a smug grin. "Tentacles." She muttered loud enough for me to hear.

"You know, four days is a pretty long time to go without a shower." I said with my own challenging gaze. "You should be on your guard."

"Bring it!" She resumed her grin. "You wont be the first thing i fight that tries to give me a bath!"

"If i can handle a little meth head Schnauzer, I can handle you." I retorted thinking about my old dog. She never sat still, we always joked about how she found crack out in the yard.

"You still have those dogs?" She broke our staring match scanning around the living room for any sign of animals.

"Yea, one English Bulldog named Ruby. Although she is still hard to bathe, she makes it a lot easier then the other ones we had. She just goes limp. All her fat folds make it hard to pick her up." I told with a chuckle from both of us.

"Do you still have her?" I couldn't tell if she was exited or dreading.

"Yea, she's actually wedged behind this couch right now." Dash scouted the foot of the couch to see if she was there. "She is so lazy that she didn't even care that you are here right now." I grabbed her paws and slid her into the middle of the room. She then sat up and took notice of Rainbow Dash. Before collapsing into deep sleep again.

"She's so awesome!" Dash squealed with her hoofs up to her mouth. "I love how lazy she is! She didn't even care that you just dragged her like fifteen feet!"

"Just wait, your opinion will change after about an hour after she eats. She wakes herself up with her own farts!" I give Ruby a disgusted look.

I then herd my brother open the door to the garage, he was coming. I gave Rainbow Dash a wink that said let's mess with him, she replied with a nod of her head. I pulled out my phone as if i didn't notice the animated pony pegasus or my mom still asleep on the other side of my couch. My brother caught sight of my mom unconscious on the couch. "What happened to m-" His eyes then focused on Rainbow Dash just sitting on the couch casually. "Hey fag, why do you have a my little pony plushy?

OH, SHIT.

I sat there pretending like i didn't hear what he said. "I'm not a plushy from-" Dash then thought about what he just said. "What is my little pony?" He was unable to answer, my brother was speechless from the fact she just spoke. Dash looked over to me, who was still pretending to play with my phone. "Jack, what's my little pony?" She asked with a look of confusion again.

I stayed my ground, ignoring dash's question. "Jack! What is he talking about?"

"hmm?"

"What is it!?" She was getting angry.

"What's what?"

"My little pony!" She was yelling now. I looked around the room trying to find something to buy some time. I observed my mother on the couch from this mourning. My brother was still in shock. I was starting to wondering where my Dad was.

"Fine, i'll explain upstairs." I sighed. The cyan pony hopped off the couch and walked past my brother to the stairs as if he wasn't even there. She gave me a final glare before she trotted up to my room. I looked at my brother who was just staring at me now. "Your a dick." I stated before giving him a shoulder brush that snapped him out of his statue-like state. I then slowly climbing the stairs to give a explanation i was fearing when i first brought Dash into my house.