Republican Space Rangers

The noble and brave RSR we're drifting through space , looking for things to destroy. Butch was cooking a casa dilla in the microwave and blabbering on and on about something in some sort of un-human dialect that you get from drinking too many cold ones. Dick (it's a name , don't be a dick about it) was looking through a nice copy of Playboy magazine when really he was thinking of Commander's warm hairy embrace. Commander however is doing very productive things like cleaning all the guns , readying all the nukes , and locating planets on the radar.

"When is we gonna shoot stuff?" Butch asked while suffering from boredom as drool poured down his mouth.

"Want you just shit the hell up and be patient?!" Demanded Commander while lighting another cigar. " We obviously have been out here for so long that all the 'good' planets will be comin' in soon!"

" I can't wait to blow shit up with me in your arms Comannder!" Shouted Dick enthusiastically."I remember the time we first kissed!"

"What the actually fuck are you talking about dumbass?!" Commander said as he shot a glare towards Dick.

"Oh... It was probably just a dream then..." Said Dick as he slouched in his seat.

A loud ing ringing came from the radar as a large planet that came up into view just ahead of them. It looked like planet Earth but... Different. Continents were in the wrong order and everything looked colorful even from space. The RSR couldn't tell the difference and decided to get into landing procedures. The ship quickly came into the planet's atmosphere and and was slowly being engulfed in flames. The RSR put on their helmets and readied there weapons in case they land in a communist country because why the hell not? The parachutes deployed and made the decent a little slower and much safer.

"I can't wait to be back at home!" Butch cheers.

"I can't wait to hit the bars!" Shouted Commander.

"I can't wait for you to hold me again!" Cheered Dick (it's not gay by the way , it's manly).

The ship crashed on the outskirts of some sort of town. The inhabitants of it already moved towards the crash sight to see what was going on. Commander kicked down the door of the ship and took a good look around. The other two repeated the process and we're extremely confused. A purple horse thing walked towards them. It both a horn and wings unlike all the others.

"Welcome to Equestria , weary space travelers!" Greeted Twilight hoping that the visitors were friendly ( between you and me , we all know she just wants to study them)." We wish no quarrel and hopefully live in peace!"

"What's it sayin?" Asked Butch as slobber poured out of his mouth.

"It's some sort of hippy , gay , transvestite bullshit!" Dick said with his best of knowledge.

"I was thinkin the same thing!" Commander said."I understand some of the words but they aren't making any damn since!"

" I said 'I am grateful to welcome you to Equestria!' " Twilight explained while being relieved that they sleek the same language.

"What's it sayin!" Pleaded Butch.

"I think I heard it say something about... Terrorism!" Dick explained while aiming his triple barrel blaster rifle.

The rest of them do the same. Twilight backs away slowly , trying to get them to calm down. The rest of the mane six come over to aid her. This only makes the RSR mad. They grit there teeth and get ready to pull the trigger.

"We mean you no har-" Fluttershy was saying until Commander blasted a tree in half with his heavy blaster.

"You will shut the fuck up and do so until we decide on what to do with ya!" Commander demanded.

"Yeah! I hate women!" Butch said before firing both his blisters into a couple of birds.

"We don't want any trouble dude!" Rainbow Dash said as she covered Fluttershy.

"ARE YOU THREATENING OUR WAY OF LIFE!?"Commander demanded." YOUR SEPERATE BELIEFS IN POLITICS AND RELIGION THREATEN OUR FREEDOMS AS AMERICANS! ITS IS OUR JOB TO GO THROUGH SPACE , MEET STRANGERS , AND KILL EM GOOD!"

"FOR DEMOCRACY AND LIBERTY!!!" They all shouted at once while triumphantly holding up their guns.

"Who they hay do you think you are his bossing us around on our land!?" Asked Aplejack.

"WE ARE THE REPUBLICAN SPACE RANGERS!!" Shout Dick and Commander.

"Ranger Republicans in Space! Oh shit! I got it wrong!" Said Butch before facepalming.

"I have never heard of such a barbaric thing before!" Rarity said in disgust.

" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT YOU COCK SUCKING , BALL LICKING , BEEYETCH!!??" Shouted the Commander.

"Awaiting your orders commander!" Said Dick as he slowly started to squeeze the trigger.

"OUR MISSION IS CLEAR AS MUD BOYS!" Shouted Commander." THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY THREATENING US AND AMERICA! ITS KIR JOBS TO LIBERATE AND NUKE THE FUCK OUT OF EM!"

"FOR DEMOCRACY AND LIBERTY!!" They all cheered before firing at all the inhabitants.

  A heavy blaster shot effectively cut purple bitch in half and melting pink bitches arm off. The triple blaster quickly sliced through yellow whore and white slut along with some civvies. Butch put both barrels on Rainbow cunt and apple dick's faves before shooting them through the back of there heads. The RSR ran around and brutally did the same to many other ponies until the rest went into a building that had not yet felt the freedom and democracy of America.

"Looks like they went into some sort of alien orphanage!" Shouted Dick as they ran back I tore ship. They quickly took off and got out of the planet's orbit before facing it again.

"It's time to spread freedom and liberty!" Butch said as he fired all the nukes.

"WAS THAT YOUR HOME!?" Commander shouted before the planet was ripped apart. "SORRY!"

"We'll now that all that's over , how about we take a nice hot shower!?" Dick asked before getting the approval of commander.

THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER BADASS!