Overlady - Loot Equestria

by Schroedingers_Katze

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna
Length: 258766

Ripped from my world? Check. Forced into a incredible powerfull, incredible evil looking body? Double check! No idea what happend to me, how I am supoosed to get back home or let alone survive? Tripple check. Okay, watch out Equestria, here I come!

I am the Darkness given Form.
I am the Evil that lurks in the deepest Shadows.
I am the Mistress of Minions.
I AM THE OVERLADY!

Well, at least that is what I am known as right now.
Hi, my name is Sara Schneider and this is the story of my life as Evil personified in the Land of Friendship & Harmony.

Tagged Mature for the use of strong Language, Violence and some more explicit things that are bound to happen along the ride.

Inspired by many great LoHaV stories like "Headless, not Heartless", "The last Ride" and oh so many more. Thank you for those guys.^^
Yes, this is a Displaced story. Last chance to turn and run.

I own nothing except the story!
Yay, I doodled a cover.

Published 2014-04-17 02:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-14 21:32:22 UTC

1. Hit the Floor

Author's Note

From here on, there will be switches from the Overlady´s POV and the third Person now and then to help me tell the story better and provide some extra infos and/or funny moments to my dear readers.

Enjoy.^^

1. Hit the Floor

1. Hit the Floor

The universe is a really funny place.
Not necessarily ‘Ha ha’ funny, no, more like, ‘visiting a convention to partake in a costume contest in one moment, then find yourself in a free fall through a tunnel of light after being swallowed by the stage in the next’ funny if you catch my drift.

I did not know how long I was falling. Maybe hours, maybe days. Heck, even only a few seconds would have been possible since everything that was surrounding me was a tunnel of blue and white light. Somehow it resembled a trans-warp tunnel from one of these old SciFi series.
“Beam me up Scottie, har di har har.” A raspy voice I don’t recognized as my own at first said. For a long time, all I had done was falling and screaming until my voice finally broke down. So I limited myself to falling. One could fall in a surprisingly high variety of ways as I found out.

The first and most obvious way I dubbed “The Flailer”. It was pretty easy. All you had to do was flailing your arms in an uncoordinated manner while falling. Kicking your legs and screaming on top of your lungs was optional for more advanced and/or experienced persons.

The next one was “The Hero”. Another pretty simple figure. One arm was stretched out in front of you while the other remained close to your body, pointing backwards. Optional, both arms could point forwards.

The third way, I dubbed “The Thinker”. It was obviously inspired be piece of art, depicting a naked guy, sitting on a rock, with his chin placed on one fist while looking somewhat think-y.

Another good one is “The flying T”. Just straighten out both arms until your body resembles a capital “T”.

After a while, coming up with different ways to zoom towards an uncertain destiny became boring so I ‘sat down’ in a tailors seat with crossed arms and shifted my attention to observing my surroundings inside the ‘tunnel’.

First came the detection that I could not leave my place in the relative center of the tunnel. Sure, I could wobble a bit in every direction but I never really left my spot. Some unknown force was holding me right where I was.

Following that came the observation that every now and then, a “Whisp”, a brightly glowing ball of light, in lack of a better term swished past me. Some passed me and flew down and at least as much zoomed past me in the different direction.
Those Whisps going up I envied the most.
Lucky little bastards!
At one point, I tried to catch on of the up zooming light balls, desperately hoping to maybe hitch a ride back home but it passed right through my hand as if it weren’t there. Or solid for that matter. That experience caused me to pull my hand back with a high pitched yelp. Upon closer inspection, I noticed with great relief that neither my hand nor my gauntlet were now sporting a nice new hole. After pondering over the properties of these “Whisps” and what they could be and how one could explain their ability to ‘phase’ through solid matter for a good while, I noticed the next thing.

I was not able to accelerate or slow down my fall. No matter what, for some reason I kept a constant falling speed.

That was the next thing. If I were really falling, why was there now wind blowing in my face or tugging at my clothes? As a falling body I had to meet some kind of resistance, even if it were just molecules colliding with me but nothing.
Nadda.
Zip!

Also, I didn’t grew hungry over the time. Or tired.
Okay, the last thing might have been the adrenaline rushing through my veins but still. A circumstance I was really thankful for was that there was no need to use the bath room. Would have been really awkward if I had to.

The most unnerving thing was that there were no sounds at all. Except from my own voice now and then or the clanging of my armor when I moved my body I was falling in total silence.
That was creepy on a whole new level!

At one point, I simply closed my eyes and waited for whatever may be happening to me.

…

I reopened them only when something around me changed drastically. Suddenly, there was sound again, like an all muting veil surrounding me had been violently ripped open. And wind and pressure building up against my falling form.
And heat.
I opened my eyes and to be honest, I was stunned. Right in front of me was… a planet.

A.

Mother.

Fucking.

Planet!

Quickly I rubbed my eyes to check if I was dreaming. Note to self, rub your eyes really carefully while wearing steel gauntlets with pointy edges. After confirming that I was not asleep and managing not to lose an eye I tried my best to take in the sight that was offered to me.
It was breathtaking. The orb somehow resembled my most favorite chunk of dirt in the whole cosmos, Earth with its wide blue oceans and the landmass of mixed browns and greens. I could see vast mountain ranges (at least I thought it were mountains) and a big patch of yellow-sih color which I supposed to be some dessert region of sorts. Yet I could tell without a doubt that this was not my beloved home planet. The array of the continents was off. Like total off. The whole setting resembled more pictures of the supercontinent Pangea, except for a chain of longish islands trailing up to the northern pole, from way back then, when Littlefoot and his gang where still roaming the place.
Ah man, I loved that movie.

My fond memories of precious childhood days were brought to an end as I entered the planet’s atmosphere.

The air friction around my body gave birth to a, I must admit, really impressive and somehow even beautiful corona of fire.

“Oo~okay universe, God, Odin, Amaterasu, Cthulhu, Buddha, Manitou, horned Rat, Tzeentch, whoever is responsible for this and is listening, let me get this clear: you decided to drag my ass out of my life, out of my universe and out of everything I knew and hold dear just to drop me into some strange, prehistorically looking planet’s atmosphere to watch me burn to cinders? You gotta be kidding me!” I yelled over the constantly growing roaring that my atmospheric entry caused. Of course I never got an answer. Would have been too good to be true anyways.

Ever heard that a dying person goes through five phases before finally passing?

At first came denial.

Despite to unalterable evidence in front of me, I simply denied my fate.
Sure, I knew that I was going to die one day, because circle of life and death and all that jazz but I refused that I had to go this way. I probably just slipped on stage and hit my head, resulting in some crazy dream. It just could not be!

This went on for a while before making way for the next phase.

Anger.

And fuck, was I angry!
I raged for I don’t know how long while slowly but surely falling towards my end. I cursed each and everything I knew, using every swearword, every curse and even invented some new ones.
I was angry at the universe for pulling this sick joke on me.
I was angry the asshole that bumped into me, causing my need to fix my costume with that gem which without a doubt was a key element to my misery.
I was angry at that “gentleman” who sold said gem to me.
Angry at the my car for properly functioning and transporting me to the Con.
I was even angry at Vivianne. Why had she not talked me out of this? She did not even wanted us to partake in this contest because our costumes would take too much money and time to make!
But first and foremost, I was angry at myself. Angry because I had an abo for the conventions newsletter. Angry because I decided it would be cool to dress up as Overlord or better, as Overlady to rock the costume contest. Angry because I thought I would stand a chance in the first place. Angry for setting up three alarm clocks to really be on time for the Con and not simply staying in bed and enjoying the weekend.

After my anger had subsided came the next phase.

Bargaining.

This phase however was really short-lived. I made a few attempts to formulate a deal with any higher deity that would listen but never brought them to an end.
I was never overly religious to begin with.
Sure, I believed that somewhere out there simply had to be some beings so far above our own point of existence that they could only be considered ‘gods’. But I too believed that I would never pass the needed requirements to be allowed to enter their respective after lives.

So Bargaining took a step to the side and allowed Number Four to enter the stage.

Depression.

All the things I left behind flashed through my mind, all the things I always wanted to do but never did and now, would never be able to do.
First of all, my family. I had always been incredible proud of them. I have witnessed other families to break apart over something more or less trivial but my family was always a like a rock. Sure, there had been many times in the past, that rock had been hit hard by the waves of destiny, had suffered cracks and even now and then, a part of the rock and been chipped of. But Mom always kept her caring and jovial self. Whenever one of us seemed to drown in sorrow, she had been there with a smile, a hug or just a few kind words of support.
And Dad. Dad had always been so… I dread the word schizophrenic in his behavior. In one moment, he was dead serious, unmoving and superior to everyone only to be a totally silly fool, a great friend and a fierce protector in the next.
That led me to Leo, my darling little brother. Born whole eighteen years after me, he was most of the time an insufferable little dick but who could blame a nine years old for building his own personality? I remembered helping him build a little den behind our garage and how much we laughed when the whole thing came down on us just because of one little gust of wind.

Tears started to well up in my eyes and the cold claw of dread closed around my heart.

Next came my friends. I did never had many but those I had were the best bunch of idiots, nerds, gamers and potheads a girl could ask for.
Vivianne, my roommate. Always in action, sportive to no end yet she had the ability to radiate a strange tranquility if she wanted. The voice of reason in our little flat share.
Phil, Viviannes boyfriend and my BFF since elementary school. Oh, the shit we went through together.
Dominik, Shean, Ester, Kim, Mark and Jan.
I would never be able to see them again.
Never be able to say ‘Goodbye and thank you for all the fish.’ Ha, even now I could not stop myself from being a goof.

Sobbing slightly, I starred through the roaring fire around me towards the planet´s surface that kept coming closer and closer.

Finally, the last participant showed up.

Acceptance.

It washed away all the emotions its predecessors had stirred up, gently wrapping me in a soothing blanket of assurance. The assurance that, even now that my end was drawing near, the world would keep on spinning.
Vivianne and Phil would probably move in together and became parents of the most contradictorily and adorable little munchkins since in the history of mankind.
My family would take their time to lament. I would most likely get a small substitute burial and a nice grave located near those of my grandparents and great-grandparents. But then, they would move on. Mom would hopefully quit her awful job and become a self-employed nanny like it had been her dream since long. Dad would probably keep his job as a glazier till kingdom come and Leo would without a doubt become a fine guy that will make the girls swoon in droves for him, once his dream carrier as a soccer player gets off the ground.
My friends would follow their own ways for sure. Dominik would become a lawsuit that rivals Phoenix Wright for sure, Shean and Ester would hopefully finally came to terms with the fact that they were destined for each other and be happy together. Kim would someday take over her old man’s car workshop, Mark would fulfill his dream of travelling to Japan to introduce his own brand of good old German cuisine to the population and Jan would without a doubt continue to be the world’s most hopeless stoner and best spiritual guide ever.

Comforted by this knowledge, my demise did not scare me anymore. I had a swinging time but now it was time to leave the stage and get some rest.

Yes. A little rest sounded good.

Managing to put on a small smile underneath my helmet, I gazed upon the beautiful planet in front of me until I lost consciousness from the sheer heat and pressure that had built up against me.

°°°

[POV third Person, Canterlot Castle Garden]

“Check dearest sister.” A white alicorn announced with a impish smile. Her counterpart however, a smaller and midnight blue alicorn fixated the chessboard between them with a piercing glare.

“Nay! `Tis long from over Tia!” Luna, Princess of the Moon and co-ruler of Equestria shot back. Sure, Celestia had her in a pinch after moving her bishop into place a moment earlier. A blue hue of magic surrounded one of Lunas own chess pieces, a black knight since Luna had preferred to choose black since the first day her sister introduced her to this game. She then moved the piece in its L-shaped move and took out Celestias bishop. “Ha! Have at thee sister! Today thou shalt not overcome the might of my army of tiny wooden figurines!” the lunar princess cheered in her amusing mixture of old and modern speech.

Celestia, Ruler of the Sun, big sister to Luna, Ruler of the Moon and habile strategist sipped daintily at her cup of chamomile tea hold aloft in her trademark golden aura.
“Is that so Lulu?” she asked, carfully setting the chineighse cup back onto the table.
Then she moved one of her pawns toward Lunas line of defense, obviously a vain attempt to avenge her fallen bishop.

“Indeed. Thou art getting sloppy.” The moon goddess smiled wildly, taking out the pawn with one of her own. “Ha ha, another step towards mine victory!”

Wordless, Celestia countered by moving her last rook all the way to Lunas side of the bord, trying to align it to Lunas king.

Luna countered the bold move with her queen, taking out another part of Celestias pieces.

Celestia smiled at her younger siblings antics but then, then the smile was replaced a frown.
“Luna? Is that yours?” the solar diarch asked.

Holding up the freshly captured rook with her magic, Luna answered smiling “Of course it is Tia. My queen hath defeated the rook in honorable combat. If you want it back, one of your pawns hath to reach mine side of the chess board as stated by the rules.”

“No, I´m not speaking about the rook Luna. I´m speaking of… that.” Celestia pointed her gold clad hoof at something behind Luna.

Following her sisters hoof, Luna quickly discovered the source of Celestias concern. Right there, a blazing trail of fire lingered in the afternoon sky, rapidly descending towards the planet.

A meteor.

“None of mine sister.” Luna said while following the trajectory with her eyes “But fear none, as far as I can see, it is going down far away. Deep inside the barren badlands. Nopony should be endangered.”

Celestia let out an audible breath of relief. Her sister had always been the better one with estimating trajectories which was crucial since an important part of the nightly sky were the occasional shooting star or even a whole swarm of them once in a while.
“Thank you for alleviating my sorrows little sister.” the solar alicorn smiled before moving her own queen all over the board, following the carefully cleared path she had prepared throughout the whole game and directly took out the black king.
“Check and mate dearest sister.” Celestia announced holding up her price.

Luna starred at the floating chess piece slack jawed.

°°°

[A small crater somewhere in the Badlands]

“Ouch.”

Moaned a muffled voice. My voice.

Dirt filled a dry mouth. My mouth.

But even though my eyes were open, all I saw was darkness.

“Fuck me sideways with a broomstick covered in glass shards…” I moaned and again was rewarded with a mouthful of dirt.

It was icky, it scratched in my throat and crunched between my teeth. But at the same time, it was smooth like the smoothest velvet and tasted so damn delicious I could have polished of a truckload of it on the spot.

Because it meant that I was still alive somehow.

Even though doing ‘the Shepard’ without Cerberus to patch me up afterwards!

Even though hitting the normally unforgiving surface of a planet with a speed of I-don’t-know-how-many-kilometers per hour.

Fighting down a flash of euphoria, I commanded my brain to send an impulse to my limps with the intent to stand up because I realized that I must have face planted right into the ground. At first my brain failed to comply but at a second try I felt a familiar tingling. Just like when you regain the feeling in your leg or arm after it had fallen asleep. Gritting my teeth and ignoring the onslaught of pinpricks that was maltreating me I slowly pushed up my upper body, get on my knees and slowly stood up.

Instantly, I fell backwards and hit the ground again.

“Damn legs. How could you betray me like this? After all we have been through together…” I accused my own appendances. Taking in a deep breath, I gazed into the sky. It was bright blue, sunny and not a single cloud in sight. The air smelled dry and earthy. “Okay legs, second try.” I said to no one in particular after spitting out dirty saliva for a last time.

This time, I took it slow. First I sat up and scanned my surroundings for the first time. It appeared that I had crashed down in some kind of desolate plain or dessert. All around me, reddish-brown earth stretched to the horizon. No trees, no grass and no streets on that note. Just some rocks, varying in their size from a football to a small house and in the same color like the earth now and then protruded from the ground. “Of course. Of fun-fucking course!” I half yelled, slamming my left fist against the innocent ground. “Of course I had to crash down in mother nature’s ash tray!” Huffing angrily, I stood up and inspected myself. To my surprise everything was still intact. Not even the tunic and pants I wore under my armor or my cape were singed. Okay, there were some new minor scratches and dents decorating my armor but who cares? I should have been nothing but a smoldering pile of ash by now but here I was standing, absolutely unscathed. With a sudden wild grin, I raised both of my arms skyward and flipped the birds.
“HA! Fuck you universe! You failed miserably you fucking fucktard! I´m still alive and kicking, ya hear me?” I yelled as loud as my abused vocal chords allowed me too. It was then that I noticed something. The skin on my arms had turned black. No, not Afro-American black but black. True and through black.
I stared at my still outstretched arms.
Then I screamed.
Loud.

After some time I calmed more or less down. Still a bit spooked by my sudden palette swap, I took of my gauntlets and my helmet.
Upon closer inspection I discovered that every last square centimeter of my skin had turned black. Besides that, I was still me. Well, I could somehow feel that I was now much more muscular then before. Nothing mayor but I definitively felt more lithe. I made a mental note to check that out once I had found a place where a girl could undress in peace.

After slipping into my gear again, this led to my next discovery. Had my armor been at most only two millimeters strong before, now the single parts seemed to be up to eight millimeters strong which would have made it a real ordeal, if not impossible for someone like me to carry it, let alone walk around. Yet it felt nothing different from before. With a ‘Meh!’ and a shrug, I ticked it off as ‘weird shit of the day so far’ and looked around for my mace. Sure, no sane person in my situation would have done that but hey, I never said I was sane or did I? After spending so much time and effort making it, I was not going to let it behind and since I had made it down here in one piece, there was no way the Beast wouldn´t.
I found my accessory half buried a few steps away from the little crater that I had stamped into the landscape. “Hello beautiful. Come to momma.” I greeted the mace and attempted to pull it out of its earthen prison.
Attempted.
Because somehow, the former rubber foam weapon had become the real deal which meant that it now had a weight roughly around five kilos or even more. After putting more effort in it and pulling with both hands, I succeeded. I gazed at the beauty of steel, leather bands and magical poison in my armored hands. The red eyes of the maces wolf faces seemed to glow with predatory intent and occasionally a thin cloud of green mist billowed around the dull steel before drifting apart.
A though came to my mind. If my mace was now the real unleased Beast, would it have the same effect when I smashed it into the ground like in the game?
“Only one way to find out.” I said and lifted the weapon over my head. It came down with a thundering crack and just like in the game, a wave of thick green poison splashed in every direction away from the impact zone. A wide smile was plastered on my face. “Awesome.” was all I could whisper. Then I smashed it into the ground again with the exact same result, just for shit and giggles.
After having satisfied my fangirlish urges I sobered up a bit.
I was in dire need of civilization, water, food and a bed if I do not want to reduce my diet to dirt, dirt and dirt. Resting my new and supercool mace on my shoulder to make it easier to carry I picked a direction and started walking. To pass the time and occupy my mind, I started singing as loud as my sore throat allowed me. Who knows, maybe someone would hear me and would rush to my rescue? >>Even though I´m hardly looking like a frail maiden in distress right know.<< I thought amused. And if no one would show up, my horrible excuse for singing should at least hold eventual wild animals at bay.

°°°

[POV third Person, the Badlands, Impact Zone, early evening]

The impact zone lay still, like the rest of the badlands in the setting sun. A lone tumbleweed was blown across the new small crater. Then, a faint rumbling filled the air mixed with the scratching from pickaxes and claws against stone. A portion of the ground collapsed and left behind a hole, not very large in diameter. A clawed hand attached to a brawny arm appeared out of the darkness of the hole and dug its claws into the ground in an attempt to pull out the body that belonged to the arm. Shortly after, a bald head with extremely long and pointy ears, yellow glowing eyes and a mouth full of needle like teeth appeared. The head was quickly followed by another arm, a naked torso and finally the legs.
This creature was not very tall, a meter and a few at most. Its only article of clothing was a ragged dark brown, short trouser that was nearly indistinguishable in color from its brownish skin. Soon enough another creature like the first appeared and another until there were seven of them.
The first of the creatures started sniffing the air, looking for something while the others started gibbering excited and taking in their new surroundings. Suddenly, an object came out of the hole and hit on of the gibbering creatures over the head with a resounding ‘THUNK’. Baffled the creature took it up. It was a simple wooden club.

“You morons forgot those in here. I nearly tripped over that damn thing!” croaked a very, very old sounding voice from the hole before six more clubs were flung out of the hole and in the general direction of the creatures, hitting several of them. This resulted in a medicore brawl between the creatures. “Oh for the love of the Netherworld, stop that you imbecile maggots! Bruiser, stop chewing on Ruffians ear! Gnawer! Stop trying to rip out Scrappers leg!” the voice barked from the hole, carrying a clear tone of command.

The effect was not immediate but it was there. The brawling stopped and the creatures gathered in a loose group around the hole.

“Rufus, got anything yet?” the voice croaked.

The creature in question, Rufus nodded eagerly. “Yes.” He said in a screechy voice “Got the track, the scent is still strong.”

Seven pairs of glowing eyes watched as a eighth creature left the hole. It was of the same kind like the first seven but seemed to be centuries older, judged by its paler skin and crooked back. “Well, what are you slime bags are waiting for then? We´re wasting time! Get going!” Gnarl barked at the minions and to the old minion’s satisfaction the younger ones began to follow the trail Rufus had discovered. Rubbing his clawed hands together, Gnarl allowed himself to smile. Soon they will be reunited with the Overlord. Soon the reign of evil would begin anew.

After all, Evil always finds a way!

2. Umbra

2. Umbra

”… and here I go again on my o~hown!
Walking down the only road I´ve ever kno~hown,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alo~one!
And I´ve made up my mind,
I ain´t wasting…”

*GUUUURGGLLL*

“Oh thank you very much, now I´m out of it.” I said mildly miffed, glancing in the general direction of my complaining stomach. Obviously the ‘don’t grow hungry’ effect of the strange trans-warp tunnel had vanished and now my body was loudly demanding food. I ignored that to the best of my abilities.

I was walking for what seemed to be hours by now and judging by the position of the sun it had to be early evening.

Still no road.

No planes in the sky.

No rusty, carelessly disposed soft drink cans, half buried in the dry ground.

No sign of civilization.

No animals too for that matter.

Or animal bones, bleaching under the sun.

Just desolate, barren land stretching as far as the horizon in every direction. That triggered the comparison I had made while entering this planets orbit after seeing the way its landmass was arranged.

Pangea.

“Well, it’s true that you don’t see any big cities while plummeting down towards your assumed doom but that had nothing to say, has it?” I asked myself just to hear another sound then the stomping of my metal boots and the ground crunching underneath.

“Hmm, that’s a tricky one. On one hand, one could argue that you did not notice anything resembling a larger assembly of artificial structures, inhabited by the local life forms because simply there are none. Which would lead to the conclusion that this planet is indeed similar to the earth from time immemorial and not inhabited by our standard of a sapient species. On the other hand, it is also highly possible that this planet is indeed inhabited but the population is not in need and/or able to build cities big enough to been seen from the orbit by the naked eye.” I answered myself in a tone that made me think of a certain TV series about physics and four guys with abysmal social skills.

Great, I started talking to myself again. After how long? Ten years, give or take? You´ve been through this shit already Sara. If I recall it correctly, poor Dr. Feinstein quit being a psychiatrist after our last session. And why did that answer just sounded like that of some science geek?<<

“Well, the human is a social creature after all. It craves the companionship of others while it dreads the thought of being alone. So it is only natural to simulate said companionship in a situation like this if there is no real equivalent at hand. Plus, deep inside you are somewhat of a science geek.”

“Oh shut up geeky me!”

Sadly, the geeky figment of my mind obeyed and whisked out of existence in the same way it had appeared. Quit and quick.

Instead, my stomach decided to make itself heard once more with a loud and begging growling sound. Ignoring my unruly digestive organ, I devoted my whole concentration to keep on walking.

Easier said than done when you are wearing a bulky suit of armor, your skin just decided to turn into the most undesirable color for a walk underneath a scorching sun and when you are dragging a mace half your size around behind you.

Why was it so hot anyways? It was nearly evening so why was it that the temperature seemed to rise and rise? In the ‘crazy corner’ of my mind the idea of the planet as a living, breathing entity itself that thought of me as a germ of virus and tried to get rid of me by rising its temperature like a fever, was born.

Sweat ran down my forehead, my spine, my legs and my arms. I always had prided myself with being better with high temperatures then low ones then my fellow man. A snicker stole itself from my dry lips as I recalled their reactions every time summer came around. As soon as temperatures had risen over a bit over twenty degrees Celsius, everyone would start running around in shorts, t-shirts or tank tops. Everyone but lil´ ol´ me. I would wear my normal jeans and long sleeve shirts until the temperatures outside would have reached forty degrees Celsius in the shade at least. Then and only then, with everyone else melting into puddles in a more or less figurative sense, I would start to wear normal shirts and 7/8 pants. But this temperatures right now were downright unholy!

Cold on the other side. I was never one for cold weather. As soon as the temperature reached fifteen degrees, I would only leave the house in thick winters clothing to the never ending amusement of my friends.

“Gaah, I´m so thirstyyy~”

*Groo~oowlll*

“And huu~ungry!” I complained in the most childish manner a twenty-six years old woman should allowed to. In fact, I was so engrossed in making complaints that I failed to notice a half buried rock in my path. Until I tripped over it and face planted into the dirt, sounding like a rodeo in a hardware store.

After lying perfectly still for a couple of minutes, only taking deep, slow breaths, I stood up. After regaining my plumb line, I dusted myself off and took up my mace. Then, in perfect tranquility I turned around and faced the dastardly piece of rock that made me trip.

There it was, an absolutely ordinary piece of brown rock, half buried in the ground and its edges worn off by the relentless caressing of the elements. If it would be able to talk, what stories it would be able to tell?
Was it once part of a mighty mountain?
Has it been flung away by a volcanic eruption?
Maybe it was only the tip of an ancient building that was buried here by the sand of time in this godforsaken land?
Maybe it has been a meteor once?

Fixating the rock with a smile hidden underneath my ornate head gear, I gripped my mace with both hands and raised it slowly over my head. Then I brought it down on the unfortunate boulder that just had been chosen to act as my stress reliever. All while releasing my pent up frustration in a long, inarticulate and primal cry.

Again and again, the heavy head of the Beast thundered down, causing cracks to appear all over the rocks surface. Wave after wave of poison drenched the ground, causing the without a doubt hardly fertile ground to become only more hostile to life.

Soon, chunks of rock were flung in every direction from the sheer ferocity of my frustrated blows.

Finally I ran out of steam, huffing and puffing like an old train’s engine and using my weapon as support to keep myself upright. Looking down on the miniature crater filled with poison drenched rubble I just created, I felt… placid.

Giving my victim a nod, I shouldered the Beast and continued walking. All the adrenaline my sudden outburst had poured in my system made my head comfortably blank, silenced my growling stomach and gave me enough energy to keep my pace until nightfall.

With nothing else on me but my gear, I rested my back against a huge rock and used my cape as a makeshift blanket after taking of my helmet. “Damn, I really wished I made that thing bigger.” The red cloth was merely covering my torso but beggars can´t be choosers.

Gazing at the upcoming night’s sky, I felt a twinge of homesickness growing in my heart. All those stars looked so strangely familiar. Never averting my eyes from the myriads of glistening lights above, I quickly drifted off into sleep.

°°°

[POV third Person]

The small filly, a unicorn with a grey coat and unruly blonde mane, ran as fast as her little hooves could carry her. She skidded around a corner of the dark corridor she was running through and came to a halt. Catching her breath, her ears perked up as they recognized a certain sound. The sound of shuffling steps. Fuelled by fear, the filly broke into a desperate dash again. She needed to get away from the source of the sound. Or else they would get her. And eat her!

Just like her mommy.

And uncle Time Turner.

And the flower sisters.

And Miss Cherrilee.

And everpony else in Ponyville.

Dinky Doo felt tears stream down her face and dampen the fur on her cheeks. Her little legs began to tire out, her breathing became labored.

Not far from behind her, the little unicorn heard cheerful gibbering.
It was them.
The monsters!

With her heart beating like a jackhammer, Dinky looked around in desperate need for a place to hide. To her horror, she came to realize that she just had entered a dead end.

The steps and the gibbering came closer.

Curling up into a shivering ball of fur and tears, Dinky tried her best to merge with the corner of the dead end she pressed herself in.

The first shadows of her merciless pursuers could be seen around the corner.

The foal started to sob uncontrollable.

A brown claw reached around the corner.

Dinky hid her face behind her hooves. “Momma, uncle Timer Turner, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, help me. Somepony. Anypony. Please…” the terrified unicorn bubbled.

The cheerful gibbering was now all around her and despite covering her eyes, Dinky could feel that the monsters had her. Every moment now, their claws would dig into her mane and pull her into a waiting maw and then…

“Thou have called for me?” suddenly asked a new voice. A voice that carried a promise of safety.

Dinky opened her eyes. Right next to her stood tall and proud Princess Luna, Guardian of the night and goddess of the moon, wearing a bright white… milkmares uniform? Puzzled Dinky starred at the midnight blue alicorn as she sets the white peaked cap on her head right.

“Now young Dinky, tell me. What is it that ails you?” the lunar diarch asked the still shivering filly with a warm smile.

All the now confused filly could do was to point a hoof at the source of her dread. There, right in front of the filly and princess they stood.
Rows after rows of cookies!
But not just your normal run of the mill cookies, oh no, these were evil cookies big as wagon wheels with scraggly limps and gapping maws full of sharp teeth! They came from the darkest corners of the oven, crept from underneath the drawers and made their way from the bottom of the cookie jar where they had dwelled for untold time since nopony ever wanted to eat them. They were the unwanted, the burned and the forgotten and their only desire was to feed on those ponies who had neglected them! How could Princess Luna not see that, Dinky wondered.

“I see.” Luna finally said before unlatching her delivery satchel and placing it next to Dinky. “Then it is a good thing I brought those.”

Dinky eyed stared wide eyed. Right in front of her stood a transportation satchel with eight bottles full of milk! “Whaa~…” stammered the filly.

Giving her confused subject an amused smile, Luna opened the first bottle with her magic and poured Dinky a glass full. “I have heard this goes really well with this kind of baked confectionery.”

Dinky stared at the floating glass in front of her.
Then at Princess Luna.
Then at the cookies.
Then at Princess Luna again. The gears in her little head turned and finally her face lit up as the proverbial bit fell. Those cookies weren’t evil, they were sad! Sad because nopony ever wanted to eat them, which practically was the whole purpose of existence for a cookie. Who cares that some of them had a been burned a bit or that some had a few dust bunnies clinging onto them or were a bit crumbled because they had been on the bottom of the cookie jar? They were still cookies and cookies were still an absolutely delicious treat. Especially when dipped in milk! Slipping into the transportation satchel herself and taking the offered glass in her own magic, Dinky let out a predatory squeal and jumped onto the next cookie, pouring the contents of her glass on top of it. In the instant the white liquid made contact with it, it turned back into a regular sized albeit slightly singed cookie which was quickly devoured by the now delighted unicorn.

Luna allowed herself a smile as she watched her young subject contently munching away at the army of cookies which were now everything but hostile. The baked goods even politely stood in line, waiting for their turn to be finally dipped in milk and eaten by the now broadly smiling filly. With the knowledge that she did her duty here, Luna lit up her horn with magic and left the dream of Dinky Doo and reentered the dreamscape.

The Princess of the night loved the dreamscape. To her, it was like the night sky just infinitively larger. Opposite to the belief that the lunar goddess was not only able to see and enter the dreams of her and her sisters subjects, Luna was able to see each and enter every dream on Equuis. They appeared to her as bright, dancing lights not unlike the stars on her beloved night sky. Of course, every species had their respective deity for this realm. Otherwise there would be no way for a single god or goddess for that matter to tend to every single dreamer in need.

Something glided over Lunas astral body. Looking up the Princess found herself literally eye to eye with Somnium the star dragon, guardian of the dreams for all dragons and dragon kin of Equuis. The enormous wyrm flapped his leathery, star coated wings idly while puffing small gusts of ethereal flames from his nostrils.

“Ahh, young Luna. Was a nice coincidence to meet you here.” the millennia older deity rumbled, his voice sending vibrations through Lunas mind.

The pony goddess bowed her crowned head in respect. “Master Somnium, it is always a pleasure. How is your kin faring?”

The star dragon let out a thundering chuckle. “Oh what do I tell you? Just like children they are of course. Always bickering, always only thinking of themselves.”

Unsure what to say, the alicorn of the night offered a thoughtful hum.

“You know young one, sometimes I envy you and your sister. Compared to my kin, your ponies are so much more… docile? Yes I think docile is a fitting description for them. They are always willing to lend each other a helping claw, to actually improve themselves to make Equuis a better place for every living being, not just for the ponies.”

“Hoof. Helping hoof.” corrected Luna nearly automatic just to cover her mouth with both hooves moments later as her brain registered that she just berated a being older than she, Celestia and the whole species of ponies together. Much to the sage dragon´s exhilaration.

“Hmm, oh right. Must be my age finally catching up with me. I apologize, young Luna.” The guardian of draconic dreams chuckled.

“Please master Somnium, I thought I had asked you to desist from calling me ‘young Luna’.” The moon princess moaned.

“Of course, young Luna. As soon as you desist from calling me ‘master’ Somnium.”

Before Luna was able to deliver a reply, Somnium turned his massive head to the right as if hearing a call only he could detect.

“As much as I enjoy your company, I´m afraid my duty is calling for me.” The star dragon said in his rumbling tone. “May the stars guide you, princess of Equestria.”

“And may the moon always light your path, dragon of the stars.” Luna replied curtly. She watched the astral dragon turn his gargantuan form sharp to the right and accelerate until he was out of sight.
Focusing on her own task again, the lunar princess continued her duty as guardian of the dreams for her little ponies.

There.

Down there, somepony just begun to have a nightmare!

Closing in to the dream, Luna could not help but to notice how strange the energy was that the dream emitted.

`Tis strange. It would appear that the dreamer is located in the region known as the Badlands. A traveler mayhaps?<<

As her astral body finally reached the dream, Luna noticed instantly that this dream was not that of a pony. The light representing the dream was so small, so frail like none she had ever seen before yet it emitted such a great amounts of fear!

The light flickered brightly for a moment before returning to its normal intensity.

Luna bit her lip and pranced nervously on the spot. She could not feel any other deity in a wide area around her. No sign of Moonhowler, deity of the Diamond Dogs and Mother Noctum, night goddess of the Minotaur’s was probably tending to the need of her own kin.

The dream flickered again and this time, small patches of darkness starting to grew in it.

Hesitantly, Luna reached out with her magic. It would hurt nopony if she would go and try to help this dreamer until his or her respective deity would arrive, would it?

After waiting for another moment, the goddess of the moon flared her horn and entered the dream.

Darkness greeted Luna.

Cold and unforgiving darkness.

A shudder ran down the pony deity’s spine. This reminded her to much of her own experience with the Nightmare.

“All the more reason to help this poor dreamer as fast as possible.” Luna reassured herself and started trotting.

After what seemed like an eternity, the alicorn finally found the dreamer. It was a strange sight to behold, even for Luna, who had seen her fair share of strange things over the millennia of her life.

There, in front of her, cowered a… female? Yes, Luna was sure that this creature was a female. Its body was similar to a female Minotaur, only with feet instead of hoofs at the ends of her legs and even less muscles or a tail. The females body was furless, peach colored skin covered it instead expect for a shoulder long, dark blonde mane on her head. Long bangs obscured most of her face so that Luna only could see that her mysterious dreamer had no muzzle, just a line of a mouth and a small nose. The lunar princess could see no ears on top of the females head so she assumed that they must be obscured by her mane too. The female had curled herself up into a fetal position and was loudly sobbing.

Instantly Luna felt a pang in her heart. Whatever this being was, she was alone and frightened. “There, there. No need to cry. You are alone no longer.” Luna cooed with her most motherly voice, attempting to sooth the females sorrow. Her well-meant attempt however seemed to frighten the dreamer only further because the dreamer let out a surprised yelp and crawled away from the voice that had suddenly appeared. The being stopped her escape several meters from the lunar diarch, sitting upright and fixating Luna with puffed eyes through her bangs, heavily breathing.

Now Luna could say for sure that the dreamer was a female, now that she saw certain… details of the creatures anatomy. “Fear none. I am here to help you.” The alicorn reassured the dreamer. Stepping closer carefully, not to frighten her further, Luna could hear whispering.

“… oh great, now I´m seeing an alicorn… I´m going bonkers, I knew this would happen… probably because I´m dying from dehydration in my sleep… I want to go home…”

Lunas ears perked up in surprise. This creature knew what she was? And what did she mean by dying? “Thou… thou knowest… ehrm… you know what I am?” the midnight blue alicorn asked carefully, the cheer surprise causing her to slip into her archaic speech mannerisms shortly.

The dreamer stared at Luna without answering her. Instead, she slowly stood up which now caused Luna to back up. Although lacking the muscles of a Minotaur, the mysterious female was towering one and a half heads above the moon goddess.

Hesitantly, an arm reached out for Luna. A clawless finger came closer and closer to Lunas face until it made contact with the princess´ nose. From somewhere inside the dream, a “Boop” sounded.

“You´re the real deal?” the female asked hesitant after retracting her appendance.

“O-of course we are the ‘real deal’! Whatever that meant.” A confused Luna replied to the weird question. What kind of creature had she discovered here? She watched the female move her pale lips silently, as if she was practicing what to say next.

Suddenly the dreamer clutched her head with both hands and began to scream as if in intense pain. The same moment, black blotches began to spread all over the females body.

Instantly Luna fired up her magic. This was no ordinary dream, she realized with dread.

From underneath the female, a gigantic, armored hand appeared with the screaming dreamer in its palm. Dark flames rose all around the writhing body.

“No!” Luna cried out as the flames began to eat away the helpless female. Conjuring every ounce of her magic, the Princess tried to extinct the flames but to no avail. All she could do was watching.

The fingers began to close into a fist as the flames burned with more and more intensity. As the armored digits reopened, the flames were gone and likewise was the dreamer.

Guilt washed over Luna. The female had just died in her own dream and in such a horrid way.

A dark, low chuckle resonated through the empty dream and two gargantuan eyes flashed into existence, glowing brightly.

The Princess of the night flared her wings and held her head up high. “Show thyself demon! We art not afraid of thou!” Luna bellowed with all her might and authority.

At first, nothing happened. The glowing eyes just bore themselves into Lunas. Then a voice, filled with malicious intent and absolute doubtlessness spoke.

“Oh but you will be little Princess. You will be!”

And with that, the dream collapsed.

In Canterlot Castle, in the tower where Lunas private chambers where located, the Princess of the Night let out a nearly window shattering scream. Instantly several members of her Lunar Guard rushed into the room only to find their ruler sitting in her bed straight as a candle, with eyes wide and pupils like pinpricks. Lunas breathing was heavy and there was even a hint of sweat on her coat.

“Your majesty? Are you unharmed? What happened?” asked one of her thestral guards with concern in his voice.

Finally regaining control over her body, Luna turned towards her loyal guards. “It´s… fine Lieutenant. Just an unpredictable… encounter. `Tis all, really.”

Seemingly satisfied with their diarchs answer, the guards began to take their leaves until just the Lieutenant remained. “If there is anything…” he began but was cut short by the wave of a midnight blue hoof.

“I am fine Silver Wing. But thank you for your concern, old friend.” The goddess of the moon said and gifted her guard with one of her rare, warm smiles aside of those she had reserved for her sister and the foals among her subjects.

Finally satisfied, Lieutenant Silver Wing bowed and took his leave too, closing the door behind him.

After being sure that she was really alone, Luna let out a deep breath. Whatever this being was that she had encountered in this dream, it had been strong enough to force her out of her own domain. She. Princess Luna, guardian of the night!

After a peek out of her window, Luna realized that her night would still last for two hours until she had to lower the moon to make way for her sisters day. Not able to focus on something else, Luna levitated a quill and a stack of empty papers towards her and began to take notes, developing plans. She would make sure to be prepared the next time she crossed paths with that mysterious entity.

°°°

[The Badlands, early morning]

“AAA~AAAAHHHHH…..”
I woke up, screaming on top of my lungs from the most bizarre and at the same time most frightful nightmare I had in my entire life until now.

Wide awake in an instant, I remembered the details of my dream.

Myself.

Alone.

Naked in the dark.

And… Princess Luna?

I shook my head slightly. Why was there an element of a series made for little kids, turned a popular phenomenon among adult from eighteen to forty-five, present in my nightmare? Sure, I proudly called myself a fan of My little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Luna was amongst my top favorite characters but WTF? What should Moonbutt represent in my dream anyways? Guessing after the way she had acted, she was probably a symbol of hope or something like that. Hey, what do I know? I never studied psychology.

My train of thought was interrupted by my every mornings basic bodily needs. Namely, toilet and breakfast. At least the first one was not much of a problem.

After satisfying that need, I found myself in the same dilemma like yesterday. I was still in the middle of nowhere, with no truck stop or even a friggin´ watering hole in sight.

At this point, I really wished I had listened to my friend Ester when she was talking about her Girl Scout group. Especially when she told me about survival lessons. There was a trick to palliate your thirst when you run out of water while being stuck in a hot area…

What was it again?

Even after twisting my mind for a while, I could not remember so I took my stuff and resumed walking towards, what I hoped was, the next way out of this barren plains and to civilization.

At least the air was nice and cool in the morning.

[Several hours of walking later]

“Argh, fuck this place!” I yelled annoyed as I let myself slump on my armored four letters. After fruitlessly walking around for hours I had decided to take a break in the shade of a big rock.

“I need something to drink really quick or else I´m gonna die…” I mumbled, licking my dry lips in order to moisturize them but my tongue had run dry long ago too.

On top of that, my stomach won’t shut up with its demands for food.

“Oh shut up you!” I grumbled “It´s not like a can hit my heels together and ‘poof’ along comes something to eat.” To demonstrate it, I clanked my boots heels together weakly. As expected, nothing happened. “Crud, I would even eat a lizard right now, scales an´ all!”

Staring blankly in front of me I failed to notice the movement at first.

“Huh?”

There it was. Scampering movements of the sort a small animal would produce. I froze as the primitive part of my brain took over. Animal meant meat. Meat meant no more hunger. My eyes grew wide as the source of the sound scampered into my field of vision.

It looked like an iguana. Well, somehow. If an iguana would have been the size of a big dachshund and would have sported eight(!) tiny legs. Also I noticed that two small, purple knobs protruded from the back of the lizards head and a longish snout, more fitting to a crocodile that an iguana. At least the leaf green scales seemed to be right.

Great, am I walking around in some kind of weapon testing area?<<

The mutant iguana scratched itself lazily and let out a, I must admit, cute groan. It sat down not a meter away from me, basking in the sun.

“Well, cute or not, you’re going to make acquaintance with my stomach you little mutant gecko.” I mumbled under my breath, my mouth already watering.

Slowly, not to alarm my prey, I stood up.

The lizard starred at nothing in particular, making it nearly too easy for me.

Carefully I crouched down; both hands open and ready to catch my breakfast. It was just back then in my childhood when I had roamed the fields around my hometown to catch grasshoppers. The secret was to be patient and slow. Move your hands in slow motion until you are close enough to grab your prey with a quick surprise attack.

It was this moment my stomach decided to betray me and let out a lout gurgling sound.

The sleipnir iguana turned its head and gazed at me.

My hands shot forward.

It jumped but too late. With my wiggling and growling prize held tightly in my hands I stood up.

“Sorry pal, it’s nothing personal. It’s just, you see, I was made a meat-plant and you my eight legged friend are unfortunately made of meat. So…” I said in an attempt to justify myself but I never came to finish that sentence. Dozens of tiny yet razor sharp teeth pierced right through the armor of my gauntlet and sank into my tender flesh beneath, drawing blood. Letting go of my prey I started to scream bloody murder, mostly taken by surprise that this lizard bit through solid steel like it was wet paper. The lizard on the other hand wasted no time and started running away.

“Oh no, you fucking don´t!” I roared, grapping my mace and gave chase to my meal on the run.

You won´t believe how fast that little bugger was. Guess these legs weren´t just for show. It was like chasing a rabbit. The lizard was running a zig zag course, using its smaller frame to zip between boulders while I was forced to climb over them or run around them. At some point I felt like Will E. Coyote chasing Roadrunner but my hunger and my thick-headedness drove me forward.

I don´t know how long our little chase went on but finally that scaly bastard zipped into a hole underneath a massive rock. I went down on all fours and peeked into the hidey hole. It was not very deep and in its stern most corner cowered my hissing price.

“Come here you little bastard!” I growled pissed and out of breath, shoving my hand into the miniature den. Just to be greeted by sharp teeth trying to bite my thumb in half. Quickly I retracted my hand. As I glared at the lizard, I could swear it blew me a raspberry!

“Oh that´s it! You´re so in for it now buddy!” I yelled at the cocky little bastard of a mutated gecko. “You get your scaly little ass out here at the count of three so I can fucking eat you!” To drive my point home, I stomped against the surface of the rock.

The rock let out a surprised yelp.

Waitaminute, are rocks supposed to yelp? Or to be leaf green?<<

To answer both of my unasked questions, the rock started to move. Teensy tiny wings unfurled on top of it and eight stubby legs appeared from underneath. A thick, spaded tail appeared from the left and a long neck with a purple horned head and long crocodilian snout full of big and sharp looking teeth rose up. Two eyes as big as tennis balls, with small red pupils looked down on me irritated. It was now that I discovered that my so called ‘rock’ was encrusted with several gemstones.

Slack jawed I stared at that thing, at that absolutely impossible thing. That sorry excuse for a dragon that looked like a stoner or a three years old had designed it! Or a three years old stoner.

My mouth moved in what felt like slow motion as I finally regained my ability to speak.

“Crackle?”

Crackle the dragon gave an irritated snort and a small cloud of smoke rose from her nostrils. She really tried to fixate me with both of her eyes bot they continued to drift apart. Suddenly, the small creature, that I supposed to be an iguana, appeared on the walleyed dragoness´ head. It gave a series of small grunts. Looking up to the little thing on her head, the bigger dragons face darkened visibly.

Finally I recognized the similarities between the two. The small lizard I tried to eat looked like a miniature version of Crackle minus the wings. That plus the fact that it hide itself under the dragoness and seemed to be talking to her right now…

Crackle bends her lanky neck down to me until her nostrils nearly hit my helmet, squinting her comically big eyes at me, glaring no daggers but freaking claymores. I knew this expression on her face. It was the “Momma Bear” expression, also known as the “Run fucker, run!” face.

“Uh oh…” I gulped audibly.

The green dragoness opened her admittedly intimidating maw and roared at me, showering me with spittle and chunks of… gems?

Needless to say, I turned tail and ran for it.

The rumbling of four sets of feet in the size of small dinner plates behind me and the really pissed roaring of a mother protecting her child told me that Crackle did not planned to let me off the hook that easily.

A long tongue of bright orange fire scorched through the air a few meters to my left.

“Hey, come one! You´re not supposed to be a mother! The show never told us that you had a child!” I yelled without looking back.

Another burst of dragon fire missed me, this time half a meter to my right.

“Hey! It’s eat or be eaten out here! You as a dragon should knoaaaAAHAAA!” This time, Crackles aim was almost true as the fire ever so slightly grazed my butt, causing me to make a small leap to escape the intense heat.

With adrenaline rushing through my veins, now it was me who started to ran in zig zag lines in order to escape the wrath of the pissed dragoness and her vengeful spawn.

Ducking under another fireball that missed my head by a good meter again, I spotted a rock in the size of a bus stop and my brain gave birth to an Idea.

Changing my course towards the boulder I taunted the already boiling dragon to follow me. “Hey, are you even trying to hit me? Come on wacky eyes, come and get me you overgrown lizard!” Judging by the increased volume of her roars, it worked pretty well.

Only a couple meters left.

C´mon, if the valiant little Tailor could pull this shit with a boar and a unicorn, I can do it with a dragon.<<

Behind me, I could hear my pursuer inhale. In the last moment I turned to the right and ran around the boulder. While kept on running, a smile formed on my lips. Every moment now. Every moment there would be the sound of skull meets boulder.

Every moment now.

Nothing happened. Slowing down a bit, I turned around to see why there was no sound indicating the success of my incredible cunning plan. My answer was delivered to me by a view that would have led every physician on earth to an immediate suicide.

Crackle was flying. Her forked tongue hanging out of her maw, her little wings flapped in an impossible speed, keeping the dragoness airborne.

“Aw come on! Are you a fucking bumblebee?” I felt cheated. Like in ‘you clearly saw the other guy pull that ace from his sleeve to get the jackpot at poker night’ cheated.

Roaring, the mother dragon focused her eyes on me and suddenly began to descent in a clear intent to dive bomb me into the ground.

“Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit!” I pressed through gritted teeth as I pumped my legs as fast as I could.

The Crackle shaped shadow covering me grew bigger and bigger.

I threw myself forward and not a second to early as a fuck-ton of angry dragon mother crashed into the ground where I had been a few seconds prior, sending debris as big as my head in every direction.

Getting on my feet again I felt a wave of euphoria. I just avoided to be flattened by a dragon. Turning my head while still running forward, I noticed with extreme satisfaction that Crackle seemed to be stunned by the impact, judging by the way she was still laying on her belly, legs outstretched and her eyes rolling around in two different directions.

“Ha, nice try lady. Good luck next time!” I shouted full of schadenfreude.

In hindsight, I should have watched where I was running instead of gloating. Because suddenly my foot met nothing but empty air and my world of spiteful joy turned into one of hurt.

I really don’t know how I was able to NOT notice the freaking cliff right in front of me. Doesn’t matter anyways, the damage was done. It was just my luck that it was not a vertical cliff but more a giant crater like cliff.

Half the time skidding on my back or on my stomach and the other half somersaulting, I rapidly approached the end of the rocky ride, losing my helmet and my mace somewhere alongside the way down.

Stones hit me everywhere. My arms, my legs, my chest, my back, my ass and my face. Everything got hit at least a dozen times. Getting hit in the face was definitely the worst part.

Near the bottom of the cliff, I somehow managed to curl myself into a ball, protecting my head with my arms. Peeking through between my arms, I braced myself for the impact on the ground and prepared myself to literally vomit out my soul afterwards.

With a loud and very wet splash I impacted at what mistook for the ground. Cold water rushed into my nose and my mouth, nearly drowning me. Flailing around in panic and with the bile already rising in my throat, meeting the intruding water half the way, I tried to find solid ground. After agonizing long seconds, both my hands and feet met ground solid enough for me to rise up.

I broke through the surface of the water, gasping for air like mad, stumbling a few steps forward. Only to bend forward as the vomit flooded my mouth.

I spend the next minute or so retching and vomiting this icky yellow foam because my stomach was still empty.

After my stomach mercifully decided to stop expelling its non-existent content, I broke onto all fours after realizing that the water was only knee deep and dunked my face into the lifesaving liquid. That I had puked in it only moments ago didn´t even phase me. I drank until the lack of oxygen forced me to stop.

“Aaahh, sweet, sweet water! Oh most magnificent of all liquids! Oh most desirable of all elements!” I overly enthusiastic praised the formerly clear, now more or less tainted liquid that was pouring down my body, refreshing my spirit and soothed my soul, splashing around like a toddler in the kiddy’s basin.

“What in Tartarus is that?”

I froze.

My eyes meet five other pairs. There, no ten meters right in front of me were two colorful ponies, two gruff looking griffons and one black dragon.

The ponies were a mare and a stallion as far as I could see. The stallion looked like some kind of scholar, wearing and eccentric mix between a lab coat and safari clothing and small, round glasses on the bridge of his nose. His mane and tail was of a light grey color and his coat was somewhat ochre-ish. A small, stubby horn protruded from his forehead, giving him away as a unicorn. His jade green eyes were practically glued to me, which creeped me out to be honest.

The mare was a unicorn too. She wore nothing but saddlebags and a plain looking bandana as sun protection. Her coat was crème colored while her mane, which she seemed to wear braided unlike her tail, was chestnut brown. Her aqua blue eyes were glued to my person too.

The griffins, I could honestly not tell if they were male or female. Both wore some kind of light armor, to protect their torsi. Mostly leather with chain mail sleeves covering their arms. The lion part of their bodies seemed unarmored like their eagle heads. One had a nasty scar running down his/her left cheek. But what really were eye-catching were the weapons both of them possessed. The scarred one was holding a flintlock musket in his talons while the other was at least sporting one flintlock pistol at a belt around his/her hip.
They seemed to be some kind of guards. Or mercenaries.

And then the dragon. It was a sight to behold. It was not really bigger then Crackle but this was what a dragon should look like. Everything on him/her (I could not tell. Again) was proportional from the bound wings, to the likewise disabled limps and the head with the iron muzzle and the ram like, curled horns. And those pitch black scales. Like shimmering obsidian. Or onyx.

My mind worked on overcharge to process all this information and suppressed the urge to cackle like a maniac. So last night it was really Luna in my dream? This mother fucking warp tunnel had transported me to Equestria? The land of friendship, harmony and colorful pastel ponies? Instantly the fan girl inside of me took charge of my thinking. This was awesome to quote a certain polychromatic speedster.

Oh, oh, I could have muffins with Derpy, maybe even play with Dinky. I could check out if Lyra really is all crazy over humans, find out if Time Turner is really the pony incarnation of The Doctor, and visit Sugarcube Corners because I really, really crave something sweet. Oh, I could visit Canterlot too and meet the Princesses and…<<

Whoa, whoa, wait a damn second! Bound wings and limps? A muzzle? What in the name of Lauren Faust’s favorite drawing pen was going on here?

“… is that Professor?” a female voice reached my ears.

“I don´t know. I have never heard of such a creature before. Extremely interesting.” A male voice said.

I came to realize that the two ponies must have talked about me all the time.

“This armor looks strange Professor. And look at its face. No muzzle. And these eyes. They scare me!” the mare addressed the stallion.

Hey, what´s wrong with my eyes?<<

“Could be a demon.” One of the griffins, the one with the scar, suddenly said. A thick accent swung in his (yup, definitive a male) voice.

“Maybe. From the looks of it you could be right Mr. Adebar.” This ‘Professor’ character agreed with the griffin.

Wait. Adebar?<< I really had a hard time not to laugh at that name. That unfortunate fellow was named after a stork!

Okay, enough starring, time for some words and to prove that I am not a threat. Even if I really looked like one I guess. So I gave my best (and most harmless) smile and casually waved my hand. “Oh, hello there. Nice weather for a quick dip, isn´t it?”

They stared at me wide eyed. Even the dragon.

“It… spoke…” the mare stuttered.

Eh? What? You haven´t noticed my enthusiastic praising of simple H2O earlier?

“Heilige Scheiße! [Holy shit!]” muttered the griffin called Adebar. So I guess all the fan canon with griffins being German was right in the end.

“Fascinating. The subject seems to be able to speak fluent Equestrian.” The Professor stated and floated a note pad and a quill out the nameless mares saddlebags to take notes.

Deciding to give it a try I nodded towards the griffins and said politely “Schönen guten Tag. [A good day to you.]” Two beaks nearly hit the ground simultaneously.

“Subject seems to be able to speak fluently Gryphon too! A trained ability or maybe mimicry?” the scholar unicorn furiously scribbled on his notepad.

I looked around for my lost belongings after finally noticing that my helmet was not on its place and that I was one unleased Beast short. I found both in the deeper water of the pond I had crash dived in. Putting my helmet back on and carrying my mace as unthreatening as possible, I climbed out of the water, electing collective gasps from ponies and griffins. Both unicorns merely reached my hip and I was even a head taller than the two avian predators. There was a hint of awe in their eyes. Sometimes it pays for a girl to be one meter eighty tall.

“Hi. My name is…” I tried to introduce myself but was cut short as the stallion started to cackle.

“This is incredible. I just came here for the dragon parts but now I have this marvelous creature at hoof. Oh, all the others professors back at the University, they will envy me for I; Professor Crystal Flask will be the one who had secured the supremacy of the unicorns over the other pony species! My name will be immortalized in the annals of science and history.”

Wait, wait, wait, what?<< I totally disliked the way this rambling were going.

“Wait a sec, ‘unicorn supremacy’?” I asked carefully “What are you? Some kind of… neighzi? And what´s that about ‘dragon parts’?”

The rambling unicorn gazed at me with a deranged grin. “Oh my dear… you are a female right? That’s none of your concern, I assure you. You may not know it but you will help me to putt the unicorns back on their rightful place as ruling class. Just like in the days of the three tribes. All the glorious things I will without a doubt be able to do after thoroughly studying you, after learning what makes you… tick.”

“What?” Yup, defs no likey!

The looney unicorn gave a me chilling smile. “Adebar, Gerhard, please secure this specimen for our travel back to Canterlot.”

“Zat will cost you extra Herr Professor.” The other griffin, obviously Gerhard, responded. Okay, so both are male.

“Money doesn´t matter gentlestallions. This time, you don’t need to be careful. Break its limps if you have to.” The now officially crazy Professor ordered.

“Wot if we kill it?”

“Unfortunate but it won’t make much of a difference. Just be sure not to damage its internal organs too much.”

“Wery well.” Both griffins turned towards me.

“Können wir drüber reden? [Can we talk about this?]” I asked with a slight hint of panic.

“Tut mir leid Mädchen. [I´m sorry girl.]” The scarred one, Adebar said.

“Wir stehen unter Vertrag. Aber wir machen es schnell. [We are under a contract. But we will make this quick.]” The other one, Gerhard added his piece.

Gulping I took a step back as both avian predators approached me with a glint in their eyes. At least they showed no intent to use their firearms against me.

Yes, so they are only armed with razor sharp talons, beaks and the strength of a lion! Well, maybe I could…<<

I was unable to finish that though because Gerhard lunged himself at me, talons aiming at my throat. Up until today, I don´t exactly know how I managed to dodge that strike, but I did it, miraculously sidestepping away from the undoubtedly fatal blow. The fierce griffin didn´t give me a moment to celebrate, the party pooper. He spread his wings wide, stopping in midair, and with a few powerful flaps that kicked up small clouds of dirt, he turned around to face me. Gerhard was onto me in nearly an instant, speeding through the air at an alarming pace and letting out a high-pitched, eagle-like battle cry.

Now, despite what my appearance would suggest, I was by no means an otherworldly demon-lord. Well, maybe otherworldly, but the point is, I have never, ever, in my twenty six years of life been on a situation where someone else wished death upon me. Well… that’s not entirely incorrect. I did make a couple of nemeses in high school who would undoubtedly have been glad to see me in this situation, but hell, they never did act on it… just talked behind my back, mostly. Really, the closest experience I’ve had on the matter was the time an overenthusiastic schnauzer chased me up a garbage bin.

The point is, I was paralyzed with fear and indecision, but my brain, in a last-ditch attempt at self preservation, managed to send signals to my body and unresponsive limbs, along with a jolt that broke me out of my stupor- basically its way of pimp slapping me and yelling ‘Bitch, move yo’ fat ass and protect yourself!’ Clumsily, hastily, I brought up my mace to block my assailant with the handle, but the griffin simply rammed me, causing me to drop the Beast and soon we found ourselves caught in a deadly wrestling match, rolling around in the dirt.

That bastard was unbelievably strong. I did not know where I mustered the strength to keep his deadly talons away from my soft throat, but I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Not bad. You may have potential as a skilled warrior. A shame I must end your life,” my opponent complimented in his heavy Equestrian before suddenly bringing his beak to bear, trying to rip open my throat.

“Professor! Stop them, please! This… this is inequine!” the shrill voice of the mare sounded.

“Shut up and get a grip on yourself, Dawn! We are doing this for the sake of every unicorn in Equestria, no, for the sake of every pony on Equuis!” the voice of Professor Crystal Flask shrilled back, followed by a smacking noise. He sounded downright ecstatic.

So the nameless mare’s name is Dawn, eh? Pretty.

With that razor sharp appendage snapping away at me, I felt pure, cold fear creeping into my being. I felt it numb my arms and cloud my mind. I was going to die here... I was going to fucking die HERE! This was such a sick joke! This psycho griffin would rip my throat out like a rabid dog, only for this fucking excuse of a Nazi unicorn to take me apart piece by piece to reach some kind of ‘unicorn supremacy’, as he called it.

Gerhard's beak screeched over the cheek guard of my helmet, causing him to smile wildly. “Next taim, Mädchen! Next taim, it will be your neck,” he promised in a chillingly casual tone.

“Träum weiter! [Dream on!]” I hissed defiantly but deep inside, I knew he was right. He had me pinned down with all his weight, his talons slowly but surely pressing down my own arms and his deadly beak ready to sink into my weak flesh.

Tears welled up my eyes.

“I dun wanna go this way…” I sobbed.

Then allow me to assist you.<<

°°°

[POV third Person, Badlands, a small cave above the pond]

“You sure that is the new Master?” Bruiser asked.

“Looks so weak.” Scrapper added. “And no magic.”

Gnarl hummed and peeked over the edge of the cave he and the other minions were hiding in, observing this new “Overlord” that had called them into this world. “I know, it doesn't look so good until now. This one seemed to have potential even though he's making no use of it until now. Be patient. Evil always finds a way.”

The younger minions groaned audibly at the older minion’s favorite phrase. A loud, pain filled cry ripped through the air. Instantly, every minion poked his head out of the cave's entrance to get a better view. Violence always had been like a magnet to all minions, especially to the Brown Ones, an irresistible siren’s cry. Gnarl pushed and punched his way through his gaping brethren. What he saw brought a big smile on his withered face. The potential Overlord was no longer pinned underneath that overgrown lovechild between a cat and a chicken but standing tall over the griffin, left arm stretched out and rivers of electricity flowing from the armored palm into the writhing and howling creature.

“Well, what did I tell you?” the wise minion asked.

Next to him, Rufus yelled out, “Ten maggots on the Master!”

°°°

[Badlands, the pond]

That voice, it echoed in the dark confines of my mind. It was powerful, menacing, and hollow, with a reverberating bass quality. It was a voice rich with domination, that promised pain, and icy as the grave. Never had I heard it before, and if I had heard it before, it would no doubt have terrified me like a small child. Instead, it gave me comfort. It was... incredible. It was like a deep well of power that always lay within me, but I never knew I had, suddenly bubbled and boiled to the surface, gifting me with invigorating confidence and unbridled power.

My struggles ceased, and I simply lay there underneath the psychotic griffin- moments ago, the terrifying harbinger of my death, but now, I looked to him with a renewed, critical eye. He was soft. He was squishy. He was easily breakable. Most importantly, he had the gall, the arrogance to think that not only could he stand against me, but that he, a mortal creature of fleshy meat, could hope to fell a higher being such as me.

I recalled clearly the dread I had felt, the fear of death.

How it paralyzed me.

Sobbing that I didn’t want to die like this.

It was then that something in my mind had just… clicked. The fear was no longer there, only a sense of exhilaration, fueled by a far more powerful force.

Wrath.

Cold, calculating wrath.

Wrath directed at this griffin on top of me for trying to kill me just out of the blue. Wrath directed at this fascistic unicorn Crystal Flask for wanting to use me for his inferior supremacy scheme.

The first one to get a taste of my wrath would be the griffin.

A sinister chuckle condensed in my throat.

“Eh? What´s zo fanny?” the unsuspecting griffin asked, stopping his attempt to bite my throat for a moment.

“This!” I replied, ramming my armored forehead into Gerhard’s face. I noticed with a grim satisfaction the cracking sounds of his beak.

Instantly the wounded griffin reared up, holding his damaged beak with both talons, offering me free access to his weak spots.

I brought my leg up and watched him collapse as the armor protecting my shin made contact with the one place where a male never in his whole life wants to get hit.

Watching the fallen griffin clutch his crushed testes and gaping for air like a fish on dry land, I rose up. Towering over Gerhard’s twitching body, I took a moment to take in my surroundings.

Adebar, the other griffin just stood there, watching me. Then his gaze drifted to his fallen comrade only to return to me a heartbeat later. There was a hint of disgust on his features but he didn´t seem to intent to butt in this fight.

Next came ‘Professor’ Crystal Flask. His features showed more of a poker face except for a medium smile. Arrogant bastard!

Dawn, the unicorn mare had tears running down her face, she looked like wanted to run away. Her right cheek was swollen and red.

So that’s what it was! Fascist bastard slapped her...<< Come to think of it, a slap with hooves instead of a relatively soft hand must have really hurt.

Making a mental note to curb stomp Flask extra hard, I felt a tug at my mind. It directed my attention back to the wounded griffin to my feet. A smile tugged at my lips. The sense of domination filled my being like a drug, me presiding over this insignificant kitty-chicken amalgamation and him rolling in the dirt, below me… just as it should be.

“Well, what shall I do with you, hm?” I asked my disabled foe. And then there was that voice again, murmuring in my head, guiding me, and I allowed it in like a long-lost friend.

“Yes, that sounds good.” I smiled sinisterly and almost instinctively stretched my arm out, my palm facing Gerhard who looked at me with wide eyes.

The well of power within me boiled even more intensely than before, and like a latent knowledge-- long since buried in the furthest corners of my mind but now vividly recalled, a pleasant tingle encroached my hand as various tiny sparks of raw electricity danced along my armored digits, the incoming spell humming and crackling as I allowed it to grow in power. Fixating my victim, I said in a voice so malicious it felt foreign to me:

“Vanish!”

Five tendrils of lightning arced from my palm into Gerhard’s still writhing form. The griffin screamed in agony as the Corruption spell tortured his body and mind at the same time, contorting and seizing as the massive electrical barrage robbed him control of his muscles. It was like the sweetest of music in my ears.

The griffin’s whole body twitched and spasmed under the constant onslaught of my spell. He arched his back, his wings splayed out uncontrolled, his legs kicked helplessly and his talons opened and closed so rapidly that he sliced open his own palms.

From somewhere in my mind came the suggestion to pour even more energy in my attack, to dominate, to punish this griffin for the unforgivable act of attempting to kill me.

And I did.

The raw electric power flowing out my fingertips grew in size and intensity so that it was almost painful to look at, completely enveloping Gerhard’s body in its crackling, unrepentant power. Not a heartbeat later, the tortured griffin let out a final screech before the negative energies of my spell completely overwhelmed him and in one flash of light his body disintegrated into thousands of little particles, all of them all of them briefly flickering before vanishing from sight.

Having done its job, I stopped the spell and paused to look at my handiwork… or lack thereof.

“I did it,” I muttered lowly and in slight disbelief. “I killed that bastard.”

I don’t know how long I stood there and just let the fact sink in that I had just ended a life in an indescribably painful way.

“Beeindruckend. [Impressive.]” A calm voice said in front of me.

Looking up, I found myself facing Adebar, Gerhard's companion. He handed me my mace.

“Jetzt wir beide. [Now the two of us.]” The scarred griffin told me. To my surprise he threw his gun to the side and instead pulled out a simple sword from a hidden scabbard underneath his folded wing.

“Wir können das immer noch so klären. [We can still resolve this.]“ I offered him.

But he just shook his head and took a fighting stance. That look in his eyes. It was something I only ever saw in films, but didn’t actually understand until today. It was the determination of a warrior to adhere to his honor because he was bound by an oath, or in this case a contract.

Then he made his move. Using his powerful wings, the scarred warrior propelled himself forward with his sword clutched in both talons. Its point was aimed straight at me.

For some reason, be it women’s intuition; remnants of past tv shows, movies or video games, or simply the mutual understanding that two combatants face in the battlefield, I exactly knew what the griffin was doing. Adebar was going for an ‘all or nothing’ move, gambling with his luck… no his life. If he could land a precise hit in the right place, he would kill me in an instant, assuring his victory. But if his aim was even a centimeter off, he was done for.

And judging after the expression on his face, he was perfectly aware of that.

Time seemed to slow down painfully as he closed in.

I tightened the grip around the Beasts handle. My blood boiled when I killed Gerhard, imbibing me with a sickening sense of pleasure and exhilaration as I ended his life and now, it was threatening to do the same. I fought down the feeling as best I could. I… I did not want to take another life. I did not want to kill again. I could disable Adebar, make it impossible for him to continue his fight. Snap off Crystal Flasks horn and send him home after an old fashioned beating, I could…

The sword’s tip was approaching me rapidly. For a millisecond I could see the reflection of my face on the polished steel surface. Underneath my helmet, there were two brightly glowing orbs in place of my eyes. I… I couldn’t fight it anymore. My blood pulsed and boiled within me, and I was once again overtaken by that drive, that urge to oppress, to dominate and to destroy those who dared to stand against me.

My body reacted, almost on instinct, and all of a sudden there was a strong impact running through my right arm, followed by the sound of breaking bones and a high pitched cry of agony.

Something warm splashed on my face.

I wiped some of it away with my left hand.

There, on my armored fingertips was a liquid, gleaming red in the sunlight.

Blood.

Its smell empowered me, clouding my vision and planting an idea at the back of my mind to spill the blood of every living thing in sight until the ground ran red with its color. I heard a labored, wet coughing and turned towards it. In a growing puddle of his own blood I saw Adebar, lying on his side. His left wing was completely ripped off at the joint and blood was gushing through the side of his torn leather armor. Pointy, bloody shards of bone could be seen through the drenched material. His ribs, and even from where I stood, I could see something pulsating from behind them.

The mere sight of it was enough to break me out of my stupor. My blood calmed and stilled, and I almost wished it hadn’t done so. My mace slipped out of my hand as I felt crippling waves of shame and remorse overtake my body. My stomach lurched and I brought up a trembling hand to cover my mouth.

The mortally wounded warrior locked eyes with me, and to my never ending shame and surprise, he smiled and nodded at me.

Numbly, I approached him.

After coughing blood again, he looked up to me.

“Guter Schlag Kind. [Good hit child.]” He croaked and put his sword at my feet.

Understanding the gesture, I shook my head. “No,” I whispered weakly.

“It is gud child. Nao let me go,” The dying griffin croaked, his voice fading like the light in his eyes.

I slumped onto my knees. I knew what he wanted me to do but I could not bring myself to do it. The cold wrath I had felt during my fight with Gerhard was quickly replaced with guilt and hot tears started to flow down my cheeks.

A gentle talon took my hand, opened it and put the sword in it.

I looked at my fallen opponent.

He guided the tip of the blade over his heart, barely able to hide his unimaginable pain.

Clutching the handle with both hands, I tried in vain to fight back my tears as a lump built up in my throat.

“Es tut mir so leid! [I am so sorry!]” I sobbed only loud enough for him to understand me.

Then I pushed.

Nearly without resistance, the blade pierced through the armor, the skin, muscles and bones of the avian warrior. I only stopped pushing as I felt the blade exit the griffin’s body.

A last tremor shook Adebar’s body before he finally went limp and the last flicker of light in his eyes vanished.

Unable to turn my eyes from the corpse, I reached out and closed the dead warrior’s eyes.

“Incredible. Absolutely incredible!” came an unbelievable happy voice from behind me.

It was his voice! And it boiled my blood, filling my entire being with ice cold fury!

It was his fault that I had been forced to take two lives, his fault and no one else’s and he was going to pay!

My body exploded into action as I spun around and closed to distance to the deranged smiling unicorn.

“Wonderful! Splendid! Such tremendous potential! What raw destructive power! Oh, I just need to possess it, explore its source! All the possibilities…” the Professor giddily exclaimed.

My blood ran hotter, so much so that even my vision went red. With a snarl that sounded foreign to my ears, I lifted my palm towards the lab coat wearing pony, reached for my newfound power and let loose a burst of lighting, but before it could reach the unicorn, an ice blue shield popped into existence, taking the brunt of my attack and deflecting the rest.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Crystal Flask tutted and waved his hoof, disapproving but smiling. His horn glowed in the same color like the shield.

“You think a fear bubble will save your ass?” I screamed at the bastard, my voice on the verge of breaking.

He nodded, still smiling.

“Wrong, fucker!” I screeched, unleashing every ounce of wrath my body could muster into the shield.

At the same time, in another galaxy, a middle aged man with blonde hair, black clothes and a cybernetic hand shuddered.

I did not really care at that moment where all this freaky shit was coming from, how this thoughts of what to do in which way simply popped up in my mind or what I was going to do afterwards. Right now, all I wanted was a roasted unicorn!

Roaring in frustration, I stepped closer, but the shield held.

At least for a while.

Another step.

The protective sphere flickered.

In the same way the smile on Crystal Flask's face vanished, it grew on mine.

Another step and my palm were nearly resting on the magical shield.

Crystal Flask broke onto a knee, his face strained and sweat running down his face as he struggled to keep his spell up and running.

A tug in my mind and I reached out with my free, right fist and smashed it into the sphere.

The scholar unicorn let out a pained cry as his magic dome finally reached its limits and shattered with the sound of breaking glass. He looked up to me and was greeted by my armored boot against his jaw, sending him to the ground. I allowed him a last, confused gaze at me before I brought my boot down on his head.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Until his screaming finally subsided, alongside his twitching and his face was nothing more than a bloody wreck.

The sharp stench of ammonia meet my nostrils and pulled me back to reality. Turning my head, my gaze met that of Dawn, the unicorn mare. She was pale as a ghost, her pupils little more than pinpricks. A quick glance down confirmed my suspicion that she had indeed wetted herself.

Hell, I couldn´t hold it against her.

Then I looked over the dragon. Those bindings had no locks. Just three glyphs or runes or something.

“Hey. How do you open these?” I tried to ask the terrified mare in my most stable voice but it was still shaking from all the adrenaline. After getting no response, I took off my helmet, and asked again. This time, I got a reaction. The mare started to scream on top of her lungs and tried to scamper away from me.

Again, I could not hold it against her.

However, I was a tad faster and firmly grabbed her on both shoulders. Which prompted her to go and try to magic me in the face but for some reason, all her horn produced were a few measly sparks. After she had realized that, the dams broke and she started to blubber.

“Please don’t kill me I never wanted all this but Professor Flask was my superior and he was so fixated on his projects and he said the ends always justifies the means he even hired those mercenaries to help him get all the ingredients for his experiments that are normally forbidden in Canterlot... oh sweet Celestia! Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me….”

I pressed a single finger on her lips to signal her to be silent.

“Okay, I am going to remove my finger now and once I have done that, I want you to tell me how to open this dragon’s bindings. Afterwards, you can take whatever equipment you need to get back home. Understand me?”

She nodded and I removed my finger.

“So?”

“Th-these are magi-cal bindings, h-high tier for dragons and other… “ she started what I supposed was a full scale explanation about these bindings but after she noticed my glare, she gave me a short version. “Ju-just touch the runes in the order down, middle, up.”

”That’s all? Sounds like a game cheat.” I said.

“That’s all. Really. Can I g-go now?”

Letting go of her, I gestured away from me. “Like I promised. I´m very sorry you had to witness all this Dawn.”

Unsure at first, the unicorn mare quickly levitated two canteens into her saddlebags and ran off as fast as her hooves could carry her without looking back even once.

Turning to the last living being aside of me, I addressed the dragon. “Okay big fella, I´m going to release you now. Hold still.” I touched the runes like Dawn had instructed me and after I had touched the last one, the respective binding came off.

Two minutes later, the last binding fell into the dirt and the dragon rose to its full height (the dragon was at least full two meters tall), stretching its large wings and popping the joints in its arms. Then it gazed down at me, two big golden orbs bore into my own.

I felt a twitch in my mind. Was the dragon going to attack me?

It slowly opened its maw.

I readied myself for an onslaught of fiery death.

“Thank you… I guess,” A deep but still very feminine voice said.

“Uh?”

“I said ‘thank you’. What? Something on your ears?” the same voice came out of the dragon’s maw.

Regaining my composure, I closed my mouth. “Uh, you’re welcome,” I finally managed to say.

That dragon is a female, hn? Well, her jawline is pretty smooth and her body somehow has feminine curves.<<

Turning around to pick up my mace, I decided to keep our little conversation rolling. I was in dire need of distraction. “Why did they captured you anyways? That unicorn guy mentioned something about ‘parts’?”

The roaring of fire behind me made me turn around abruptly. I was greeted by the sight of a very pissed dragoness, cremating the leftovers of Crystal Flask in a storm of azure blue fire and kicking the resulting ash in every direction. After that, she took up a big bag from the ground next to her and poured its contents between us. What I saw reminded me of butchers tools or that stuff I once saw in a museum to pull out the organs of a mummified body.

“This pony bastard wanted to gut me like a damn fish, that’s why he captured me. Kept on rambling how my death would help the unicorn race to again become what it once had been. Bleagh, brainless pony ideology!”

Well, looks like my ‘neighzi theory’ had something to it,<< I thought, picking up the Beast. The head was still smeared with Adebar’s blood. Like the rest of me. Deciding to clean myself a bit, my gaze lingered at the dead griffin, his sword still piercing his chest.

“Hey, could you please cremate him too?” I asked the dragon lady, motioning to the warrior’s corpse.

“Why?” the black dragoness asked visibly puzzled.

“Because he deserved a burial but I don’t have a shovel,” was my answer.

With a shrug, the dragoness came over and did what I asked her to do. In the meantime I cleaned myself and had the first real opportunity to check my face for changes. I was not surprised that my facial skin had turned black too. What surprised me a little was that it was now really hard to see my mouth when it was closed or details like my eyebrows. Another thing were my eyes. Like in the game, my eyes had lost their natural blue green-ish coloration and instead they were now two ominously glowing orbs of light with a yellowish hint. At least my hair had kept its dark blonde color and length. A big, black head appeared in the waters reflection over my shoulder.

“Soo, what are you? Never seen anything like you before. You´re not a Diamond Dog and obviously not a Pony. But you’re no Dragon either,” The dark colored dragoness asked with an unmistakable hint of curiosity. “Are you really a demon?”

I chuckled. “You could say that I guess.”

“Huh? You guess?” she pulled me on my feet and turned me around to face her. “You are or you are not! There is no guessing!” she huffed with a hint of annoyance.

That made me think.

Here I was, a once human woman, now with the appearance and the skills of Evil incarnate. I just had slaughtered two griffins and curb stomped an admittedly mad unicorn to death. Yes, that should qualify me as ‘a demon’.

“Hey, someone home?” A claw poked against my chest piece to gain my attention.

Brushing a lock of my bangs behind my ear, I finally answered the waiting dragoness.

“Yes. I am a demon.”

Giving me a big, toothy smile, the female dragon offered me a claw which I shook. Just because one is a monster, there is no reason to abandon all manners, is it?

“Sick! Never meet a demon before but you seem kinda cool. Plus, you don’t take shit from no one. Wanna, dunno, hang out together for a bit?” she asked, trying to sound as cool and casual as possible but something in my mind told me that there was something else behind this question. But that could wait for later, for it looks like I would be here for a while.

“Sure, why not? Let’s hang,” I responded with a casual smile.

“Cool, my name’s Onyx by the way. What’s yours demonette?”

Good question there sister. I could hardly use my human name anymore. Sara the demon, yeah right. I needed something new, something more befitting for a monster like me. Something dark, yet elegant. Something you don’t need fifteen tongues for to pronounce it properly.

Something like…

“Umbra.”

Author's Note

Phfew, long chapter this time. Hope you folks can enjoy.

Okay, time to hit the hay.

Edit: Because lotsa German in this chapter (and because someone waved a fencepost at me), now with translations.

Battle scene improvements made by ArreClonClipo. Give some applause.

3. Home is where the Tower Heart is

- 3. Home is where the Tower Heart is -

A very wise man once said “A good adventure always must consist of two things: looting and leveling.”

Okay, it was the moderator of a TV show and the sentence was more like “A good adventure GAME must always consist of two things: looting and leveling.” But I´m pretty sure this could be applied to real live too. Although I´m not really sure about the leveling thing.

At the moment, I was occupied with looting anyways, which means I was rooting through the now ownerless saddle bags and the occasional rucksack from the late Professor Flask and his goons. Until now I had produced a compass (I wondered which Dungeon it belongs to), several pouches containing bits (shiny), lots of hastily scribbled Notes and what looked like a shopping list for a Butchers shop (without a doubt from Crystal Flask, that wannabe Neighdolf Bittler), which mildly surprised me that I was able to read them, a set for weapons care, matchsticks, blankets, canteens and flatware for camping. All of these things I had neatly laid out for further analysis of their usefulness.

Which effectively meant that I had emptied out every container into the dirt and threw most of the stuff behind me after giving it a quick once-over.

“Hey, what are you looking for anyways?” Onyx asked from somewhere to my left. Shortly after our introduction I had started to root through the ownerless luggage and my new dragon friend had watched me. For roughly ten minutes give or take. “So, hey, mind if I ask you something?” the Dragoness finally asked me while seemingly disinterested inspecting the talons of her right claw.

Throwing another miscellaneous piece of equipment behind me, I gave a shrug. Might as well. “Shoot.”

“Okay, what´s your place called and how did you end up here?”

Pausing my rummaging shortly, I decided feed Onyx a story I used a long while back in a Pen and Paper session. “Well, that depends on who you ask. Our plane of existence is known by myriads of names, most sentient species in the Multiverse have at least one name for it. Hell, the Abyss, the Grand Beyond, the undying Underworld or That-really-creepy-place-where-your-soul-goes-if-you-had-been-an-utter-asshole-in-life are some of my personal favorites. But we commonly just call it ‘home’. As for the how I got here,” I paused to give the obligatory shrug and sigh “my best guess is that some wannabe warlock messed up a summoning spell, sending me here instead wherever that little wankwipe is now. Good thing though, cause if the spell would have worked out I would probably be busy beating the everlasting shit out of him right now.” My scaly companion gave me an irritated look. “Today is a free day back home. I don´t do extra work on free days.” I explained.

Yup. That sounded worlds better than the ‘I´m a simple nerdette, from a place called Earth, who works as a warehouse clerk. I decided to dress up fancy for a convention, suddenly the stage turned into a freaking Stargate, sending me to the fictional land of talking, technicolor mini-horses and coincidently I somehow have been transformed from a simple Homo Sapiens to an powerful, half-demon-dark-entity-whatever an Overlord or in my case, an Overlady, really is. With a magic mace!’ version.

Onyx hmm-ed in acknowledgement “Makes sense I guess… erh, wait, what’s a Multiverse?”

I could not help myself but to smile. “The Multiverse is the state every plane of existence is connected in. Imagine an onion. It has many, many layers. Those layers are each its own universe, some nearly identical in everything but a sometimes really small difference while others differ vastly. Now add other onions all around the first and then add even more. This is the most basic image you can get of the Multiverse.”

Rubbing her head with a strained groan, the black she-dragon mumbled “I think I just sprained my brain just trying to imagine such a shitload of onions.”

I could not help but chuckle slightly at the sight of a black Dragoness with an imagination induced brain-sprain. “Something else you want to know to satiate your thirst for knowledge or can we jump straight to the point where I take your immortal soul as a snack?” I quipped but somehow this pun managed to backfire. Greatly.

Nearly instantly, Onyx had cleared a good five meters between us with a single flap of her wings and had took what I suspected was some form of draconic fighting stance, with her wings flared wide, her tail wiping back and forth and her maw slightly open, small specks of flame escaping between her razor sharp teeth.

“Wow, relax girl!” I nearly yelled, memories of what dragonfire was able to do to a body still fresh in my mind. “That was a joke!”

The visibly agitated dragoness took one menacing step towards my still sitting form, blowing a small gout of fire from her nostrils. “A joke?” she inquired with a low growl that reverberated in my bones.

“Yes! It is common knowledge that demons can´t take souls without making a proper contract with their victims and as far as I know, we never signed in blood on a goat’s skin under a new moon at midnight on a graveyard with an uneven number of graves.” I gave my best to defuse the situation.

For a small eternity, we just stared at each other, Onyx´ golden eyes boring into my yellowish whisp’s.

Finally, after I lost roughly five kilos due to acute sweating, Onyx folded her wings and again took a seat next to me. “That was a shitty joke Umbra. Don´t do that again or I might toast you for real.” She huffed, ever so slightly pissed.

“Gee, you mortals and your souls. It´s not like you´re using them anyways.” I said, throwing my hands up in the universal gesture of defeat. This earned me a Dragon Punch against my shoulder, which send me sprawled into the dirt. Sweet mother Mary in hot pants, that girl got some mean punching power!

“Wow, you´re pretty much a lightweight hn? I didn’t even punched you that hard.” Onyx snickered as she watched me getting up again.

“Har di har har.” I grumbled but not because I was mad, just for the effect while dusting me off. Afterwards I went over to my loot pile, reached down and picked up a bag of bits. “Catch!” I threw the pouch over to Onyx who nimbly picked it out of the air.

“Huh? Gold coins?” she asked after opening the small bag.

“Yup,” I said “take it as a peace offering. Unless, in this dimension dragons don´t like gold and all that stuff.” I added with an inner smile, knowing that she would like them.

Onyx gave me a really toothy smile in return before popping one of the shimmering coins into her maw like it was a peanut. After a quick chew she stuffed her face with a whole claw full of bits, humming contently before swallowing. “Nah, gold is cool. Not as tasty as gems but it’s a nice snack. Thanks.”

“Soo, that means dragons here eat gems and valuable metals? Interesting choice. I´d hate to be your dentist.” I said, continuing to search my loot for the object of my desire. From the corner of my eye I could see Onyx puffing her chest out with pride.

“Ha! Dragon teeth are the toughest stuff you will find here. There is nothing a dragon can´t chew through, given enough time. My mom used to tell me stories about how my dad chewed through a hugeass clump of Mitrhil just to impress her when he was still courting her. Also we can eat other stuff too but nothing is as filling as a good serving of gemstones.” A smile tucked at her maws corners “Hmm, I could really use a nice diamond right now…”

“HA!” I suddenly jelled out, having finally found the object of my desire. I raised my hand high up, a plain package firmly in my armored grasp.

Onyx ruffled her wings slightly at my sudden outburst. “Well, grats… And what exactly is that?” she asked, leaning closer and taking a whiff.

Ripping the package open I feasted my eyes on its content. Several biscuits and (oh joy!) at least a dozen stripes of jerky! Ignoring the food labeled armor plates; I picked up a piece of dried meat and gorged it down without much ceremony. A happy sigh escaped my lips, followed by another piece of delightful, meaty goodness. “Trekking rations.” I explained finally after a third piece of jerky. “I haven´t eaten since I arrived here yesterday. Lucky me those guys had something to fit my taste hn? After all, they won´t need it anymore right?”

For a while, we just sat there, Onyx munching through her bits and I, stuffing myself on the ration that had without a doubt once belonged to one of the griffin mercs.

“Hey, wanna try some?” I offered Onyx a stripe of jerky.

“Nah, I pass.” was her response between chewing.

“Uh, uh, can I has it master?” asked a brown Minion to my right.

“Sure thing buddy.” I handed the dried meat to the little kobold, who in turn devoured it greedily.

(Insert noise of breaking glass and screeching brakes here)

“WHAT THE BLUEBERRY FUCK?!?”

I jumped to my feet faster than Speedy Gonzales could have squeaked his famous “Arr~rriba”, startling Onyx in the process, causing her to jump up too and while I reflexively kicked out, sending the Minion flying with a joyful sounding “Wheeee~”.

The brown kobold sailed through the air with a dement smile, visibly enjoying the sensation of being airborne. After a good five meters however, gravity decided to be a killjoy and brought the delighted gibbering Minion back down to earth with a decent THUD.

Right in front of a small group consisting of seven applauding and more or less manically laughing brown Minions.

Well, more like, one stone-old Minion with an eerie similarity to a hairy walnut with ears was clapping and the six others were laughing.

“Ahh, magnificent Milord. Your reflexes are well developed and your first reaction was to swear and use violence. Truly, you have good potential as our new Overlord.” the hairy walnut croaked in a revering manner.

I blinked in disbelief as Gnarl, THE Gnarl, waddled over to me, this weird little stone-lantern-thingy he was always wearing swaying over his head. The minion master/adviser/usurper to be and his younger brethren came to a halt in front of me.

“Hmmm.” Gnarl gave me an once-over and nodded approvingly “Yes, yes, I must admit that I am positively surprised. You are not only already in possession of an impressive magic weapon but also you wear armor most befitting of a dark Ruler. Your magical skills seem to be rudimentary developed at the moment but sometimes one has to make baby steps, right? When we regained consciousness yesterday in an unknown cave, far away from the dark Tower and the Netherworld, I had to admit that we were a little bit worried.” The ears of the Minions dropped in synch and a hint of sadness stole itself in Gnarls voice. Then he patted one particular Minion jovially “But luckily, Rufus here always had a good nose. The dark Fates were smiling on us when he caught a whiff of ‘the Scent’, the specific odor of unadulterated evil that only an Overlord emanates.”

Wat.<<

The retiree Minion continued “After digging ourselves free, we travelled non-stop to find you Milord, eager for all the dark and glorious larks you will lead us to. Never had we dreamed of this nice, little spectacle you gave us when we finally found you. I admit, I had my suspicions at first, when that overgrown chicken nailed you down but after you annihilated this pesky griffin with your Corruption spell and killed the other one with its own sword, devilishly poetic by the way to kill a warrior with the own sword, I was sure. The dark Fates had bestowed upon us a new Overlord.” A wide smile showcased the few teeth still left in Gnarls mouth “The fact that you stomped that Unicorn to death was the real cherry on top. Absolutely overrated crocks!” The last part caused gibbering laughter among the Minions. After silencing the Minions with a few choice words and a few whacks with his gnarly (hehe) walking stick, Gnarl opened his spindly arms as wide as his old bones allowed him to in a dramatic gesture, his gaze resting at my person and declared “Rejoice Minions! For we are now reunited with our Overlord. Now this world shall feel the ironclad fist of evil and…”

“What in the name of the Everflame are those things? Friends of yours?” Onyx asked, peeking over my shoulder suddenly, interrupting Gnarls pompous little speech.

This however caused Gnarl to jump (respect old boy) back a good meter, into the safety of his younger kin while the younger Minions rushed forward, little wooden clubs raised high, spouting incomprehensible battle cries.

They rushed right past me and some literally jumped onto Onyx. The Minions began to whack her with their little weapons, pull her tail in some delusional attempt to bring her down and some even clung to her legs like kids would do with their parents. Onyx for her part held back with extreme bravura, only swatting at the occasional Minion, seemingly completely ignoring the attempts of the little kobolds to bludgeon her with their clubs and wearing a facial expression that spoke more of general annoyance then everything else.

I simply stood there and stared. At least until I felt something tug at my cape. I looked down and meet Gnarls wrinkly visage.

“Ehrm, Milord, not to äh, question your ways but why is that dragon free of its bonds? When we began our decent to meet you, it was definitively safely bound. Did you not know that Dragons are nothing more than oversized flamethrowers, guided by a brain just the size of a Thornberry? Quick, we need to get you away from it. I´m afraid your loyal Minions can only do so much right now. Hurry Milord.” The minion master rambled, attempting to pull me away from the one-sided brawl.

“Nyee, clubs not working! Why clubs not working?” one Minion yelled.

“Scratch! Bite! Pinch!” another chimed in, noticeable glee coloring its voice.

“Help pull the tail!” a chorus of Minions demanded.

Finally one of the countless zero-but-annoying attacks seemed to hit a sensitive spot of the dragoness. Onyx let out an angry, guttural roar that caused every Minion and me to cover our ears. “All right you little pests, that’s it! No one ever touched me there! You´re toast!” she yelled and inhaled, ready to unleash an inferno upon the Minions.

My Minions!

All while Gnarl continued to pull and tug at my cape, going on and on about how he had to get me out of here so I could beginning to build a dark dominion.

Absolutely everything was about to go downhill on a greased track, in a car without brakes or a steering wheel and a crate of nitroglycerin on the backseat.

“Verdammte Axt, STOP!” I yelled, not nearly on the same volume like Onyx roar moments earlier but still.

The effect was instant.

The Minions ceased all attacks, staring at me with wide eyes and splayed ears.

Onyx snapped her maw shut, followed by an audible swallowing sound and little smoke trails coming from her nostrils.

I took a step forward, raising my finger in a way that allowed no objection. “No one’s getting toasted here, no matter where they touched you. Got that Onyx?” I rumbled, glaring at the dragoness.

A red sheen appeared on Onyx face despite her dark scales. “But… but they…” she began to stammer but I cut her short.

“No buts here! And you!” I transferred my attention to the Minions “Stop this bullshit immediately or I gonna punch you munchkins into last month!” Sternness colored my every word.

With great satisfaction I witnessed the Minions to not only let go of my draconic friend, some even tried to gain brownie points by dusting of and polishing the scales on Onyx tail with nervous smiles plastered all over their faces.

With a huff, she pulled the appendance away, her face still flushed for whatever reason. I made yet another mental note to find out the reason. Accidently incineration due to touching of no-no zones was nothing I was eager to experience in the nearer future.

“Äh, Milord, maybe…”

Ah yes, there he was again. Gnarl, my loyal adviser to be. I turned around on my heel sharply, closed the distance between a visibly startled Gnarl and myself with two quick steps and postured myself in a way that I loomed exactly over the elderly Minion without breaking eye contact. I felt immense satisfaction as Gnarl nervously fumbled around with his own cape as he shriveled under my gaze like an ice cube in the oven.

After letting him stew in silence for a few moments, I calmly stated “Milady.”

Gnarls gave me a dumbfounded look that was worth at least a million bucks.

With a nearly sadistic smile, thankfully hidden by my new facial features, I reveled in his confusion.

“Beg… beg pardon?” Gnarl croaked finally.

“It’s ‘Milady’. Are yo dissin´ my muffins dog?” I asked him with my best ghetto gurl accent, cupping the chest section of my armor for emphasis.

Slowly, creaking, the gears in Gnarls head seemed to work, processing the data he just received. His eyes rushed over my body, taking in the slimmer waistline, the sleeker armor around my arms and legs and most importantly, the two unmistakable bumps in my chest plate. His mouth worked wordless for a while until he simply uttered “What?”

“Also, I think instead of Overlord, it should be Overlady hm?” I continued, taking a thoughtful pose with a hand on my hip and playing with a stray lock with the other. Normally I despise such girlish gestures but the situation was sooo screaming for it.

“What… but… Overlord… a woman… what…” Gnarl rambled while swaying slightly. Apparently somehow this poor fellow’s whole view of the world had been shattered. And afterwards the shards had been pulverized and scattered in all four winds. Wonder what could have done that.

Another Minion, the one Gnarl had called Rufus, approached his elder and waved a hand comically in front of Gnarls face, obviously confused by his empty gaze. Afterwards he peered deep into one of Gnarls eyes. “Hellooo~hooo? Somebody home?” he yelled into the unresponsive minion masters ear. After getting no response at all, he turned around to me and gave me a shrug. “Think the Master broke Gnarl.” he stated nonchalantly.

Onyx stepped up to my side, a rosy tinge still coloring her cheeks as she mustered the catatonic senior Minion. “Hey Umbra what was that little oddball babbling about? He almost sounded like he knew you or something.” she asked before facing me. “Are these guys from your home too?”

I nearly bit my tongue to prevent from accidently spilling some insider knowledge. ‘Yeah, sure. Those guys are Minions. They are one kind of four species, brown, red, green and blue who serve the Overlord, who is in essence the Ruler over the Netherworld and Master of all Darkness. Oh hey, did I mention that that´s little, old me? Oh and the best part? That’s all just from a video game!’

Instead of saying just that I pressed a “Nope. No idea. Never seen something like them.” through gritted teeth.

It was just at this moment that Gnarl choose to wake up from his personal little coma. He took a few deep breaths and pinched the bridge of his nose, then looked at me. “Okay Gnarl, you can do this, you worked with worse. Remember that troglodyte? So this Overlord is a woman. A fickle, moody, sniveling woman but you can do this, you can still salvage this situation.” He half muttered under his breath.

I cleared my throat to let the little dosser know that I could fully hear him. At this point I seriously considered shoving the Beast up his wrinkly ass. Without lube!

Wringing his hands, Gnarl putt on an apologetic smile “Ah, please forgive me, I don´t mean to offend you Milo- erh Milady. This is all just a bit sudden. I mean, over the time I had the pleasure to meet some prime examples of womenkind. All of them could have made fine dark Rulers, if that position not already had been occupied by that time, I am sure. After all, Evil always finds a way yes?” A collective groan rose from the other Minions that Gnarl ignored masterfully “As I was saying,” the old Minion performed a surprisingly deep bow in front of me “I am Gnarl, minion master and loyal adviser for the Overlord or in Milady’s case, for the Overlady and these,” he gestured towards the other Minions “are your Minions. The one you see in front of you are known as the Browns, the warriors amongst us Minions. Although small in stature, they are absolutely loyal to you. They will tirelessly work for you, fearlessly fight for you and should the need arise, willingly die for you. For you are the Overlady, our rightful liege. Command us, oh dark Mistress and we will follow you through the gates of Heaven itself. Lead us and we shall build a dark dominion in this land that will be like none other before.” Gnarl rose up and as one the Minions raised their weapons towards the sky, chanting “Master! Master! Master!”

I could not help but to shed a tear. As wicked as this little pledge may have been, not matter how foreboding, it had touched me somewhere, deep inside my heart.

Onyx gave a whistle. “Not bad Umbra. You got yourself a dedicated little army there. Well, as much as seven skinny kobolds and one hairy walnut with ears could count as an army.”

“Hey!”

I softly punched her against her shoulder and chuckled at the pout on Gnarls weathered face. “Come on, give them time. I´m sure we can multiply them somehow.”

“And how? I doubt they can regrow heads like a Hydra, so slicing them apart is pretty much a no go then.” Onyx mused, flexing her claws slowly to showcase her gleaming talons.

“Heh, dunno, maybe feeding them after midnight and then splashing some water on em?” I offered.

“With what kind of creature would that work?”

“Gremlins.”

The sound of an old throat being cleared caught Onyx and my attention. Gnarl stood with the rest of my Minions, for some reason now looking a bit taller, like he was feeling in his element now.

“As much as I enjoy Milady’s and her pet’s wild theories, I think I could humbly provide some knowledge here.” Gnarl began “All that we need to summon more Minions is simple life force.”

I felt the corners of my mouth curl upwards. Looks like it´s tutorial time.

Onyx raised a brow at that. “Life force?” Luckily she seemed to have not heard the pet part.

With a sigh, Gnarl continued “Yes you scaly lug, life force. Now stop interrupting me. Where was I? Ah yes. Life force. The universal energy that exists in every living creature as well as in some extraordinary furtive plants. As the raw essence of existence, it can be used by a knowledgeable individual such as an Overlor… Overlady to summon Minions. All we need for that is a sufficient amount of life force of the right color, or souls, as some ignorant scholars like to call it and a ley line that runs close enough to the surface to create a Minion portal.”

That piqued my interest. “Wait a second. Ley line, as in those magic blood vessel thingies that run through the whole planet?” I asked.

Rolling his eyes, Gnarl nodded. “Yes Milady, let´s go with ‘magical blood vessel thingies’ for now. I see your knowledge of magic is really as rudimentary as it seemed but let us leave the finer details for later. I think we could use this as your Ladyships first lesson in the fine art of being a dark Ruler.” He turned towards the other Minions and barked “Hey you lazy bones! Make yourself useful and search the area. There should be still some life force around from the fight earlier. Get going and retrieve it!” The Minions scattered like a flock of chickens at the sight of a fox. Gnarl then faced me again. “Well, while your Minions are searching for the life force from your slain victims, we should try and locate a suitable ley line. If my old bones don´t to lie to me, there should be one nearby.” With that, the old fart waddled of only to stop and to give me an impatient look over his shoulder. “Follow me Milady, it´s not the time to dawdle.”

And off he was.

I stood there, feeling a little bit miffed. The kindergarten worker tone was absolutely not necessary!

“Well, for such an old fart, he sure waddles quick.” Onyx commented “Think we should follow him?”

“Hn? Oh yeah, let’s do that. Can´t have something eat him and get food poisoning right?”

Chuckling, we went after Gnarl and soon found him behind a small boulder.

“Ah Milady. Good timing, I just found the ley line.” Gnarl exclaimed satisfied, ramming his walking stick into the dirt.

“Okay? Now how do I do this?” I asked confused.

Facepalming with an audible ‘smack’, Gnarl pointed at the ground. “Well, looks like I have to guide you through this by the hand yes? Concentrate Milady, watch where my sticks tip is buried in the ground. It´s right above the ley line. A rather small one I admit but for our purpose it should be more than sufficient. Can you feel the ambient magic of raw life force Milady? Can you see it?”

I stared at the red-ish dirt intensely to a point I felt incredible silly. Nothing happened. All I could see was…

Dirt.

Some pebbles.

Oh hey, a small lizard! Aww poo, Gnarl ate it.

But no ley line.

What was a ley line supposed to look like anyways?

“Are you sure there is a ley line here Gnarl? Because, I can´t see a damn thing except for dirt, dirt and… wait a sec!”

A glimmer caught my eye.

There! Exactly where Gnarl had jabbed his walking aid into the ground shimmered something. I concentrated again, narrowing my eyes ever so slightly while I fixated the glimmering spot like a hawk would do with a mouse.

At first the glimmering spot was just that, a spot, maybe the size of a grape. But suddenly, it grew.

It grew so fast that I yelped in surprise and made a step back. With unbridled fascination I watched as the small glimmer grew in length, wide and intensity. I watched as the little ley spot grew until it had reached the proportions of a small river, maybe half a meter wide that stretched left and right to the horizon. Small branches left the main line every now and then just like real blood vessels in a body would.

“Very good Milady. You can see it now, can you?” I heard Gnarls voice. There was a hint of pride in it. I looked up and gasped again.

“Well, I take that as a yes.” A bleached out, roughly Gnarl shaped cloud of yellow-brownish energy said smugly.

“Wow, hey Umbra? Everything all right? You look kinda spaced out.” a big, Onyx shaped cloud of dark red energy asked me.

“Ähem, guys? Why is all I can see colored clouds roughly in your shape?” I asked, a tad nervous.

“This, Milady,” the Gnarl cloud said “is the very life force that animates us. I presume in my stead you see a brown cloud and the dragon appears as a red one?”

“Ey! My name´s Onyx you walking wrinkle!” Onyx cloud snapped agitated.

“Well, you look more yellow-brownish Gnarl but yes.”

“Odd.” the Gnarl cloud mumbled before speaking more clearly. “All right, now here is the tricky part Milady. To create a Minion portal from the ley line, you must reach into it, for the lack of better words. But not with our hands, with your mind. Sheer willpower is the only thing that can forge the essence of live into every wanted form. Imagine reaching out with an invisible hand now.” Gnarl instructed me.

I did as he said, focusing my mind solely on the brightly glowing stream of pure power in front of me. Several moments went by and nothing happened.

“I think I do something wrong. Nothing happens.” I complained.

“Try again Milady. Imagine scooping up water with a hand.” Gnarl cloud said, his vapory arms imitating the movement.

Again I concentrated. Slowly I began to feel like Luke at Dagobah, just without a funny talking, green midget as my teacher.

I imagined a spectral version of my hands reaching out for the ley line; I pictured it before my inner eye, playing the whole process out like a video tape, reach in and scoop up. Again and again.

Slowly, my spectral hands reached the ley line.

Only millimeters separated them.

Come on. Come on!<<

With an un-audible sound, much like a faint gong in a vacuum, they bounced off.

“Grah, sonofa!” I grumbled and redoubled my efforts. Only to bounce off again.

Every failure caused me to seethe more and more. I was so close I could literally feel the energy running under my fingertips. Yet I was unable to reach it.

It was so aggravating! Like one of those stupid puzzles where you achieve nothing if you are too forceful and to focused on the most obvious way and… hey!

Filled with a sudden calmness, I mentally reached out again. My whole being reacted almost like remote controlled.

My spectral hands touched the ley line again. And sunk into it.

The feeling that washed over me was just. Wow. It was like seeing the sun for the very first time after a long and grey winter. I felt warmth flood every fiber of my body, energy soaking me from head to toe. I could feel thousands of heartbeats simultaneously, hear thoughts thought lifetimes ago and yet preserved in the very essence of life itself.

It was mesmerizing, peaceful even. I felt like, for the lack of better words, high as fuck! Never again I would leave this comforting little sub-space, I would stay here forever and ever and ever and…

“YOUCH!”

Sharp pain ripped me out of my trip down ley lane and brought me back into reality. Gnarl and Onyx, no longer clouds due to funky ley-o-vision, looked at me, Gnarl wearing a slightly worried expression.

Rubbing my right arm I discovered a swollen, huge (okay, a small) imprint just where my skin was not covered by armor plates. A suspiciously talon like imprint. “Did you… pinch me?” I asked flabbergasted.

“My apologies again Milady but we had to bring you back into your body. Your mind was nearly absorbed into the ley stream.” Gnarl explained while Onyx tried to look demonstratively innocent. “The only way I could came up with was pain, so I had Onyx here pinch you.”

Still grumbling, Gnarls words slowly reached me. “Wait, what? My mind was about to be… absorbed?”

Gnarl nodded. “Yes, indeed. I must admit, I absolutely underestimated the ley stream here. This world must have much stronger ambivalent magic then I was used to. It is not unheard of that carefree individual become to absorbed when interacting with the ley for the first time, subsequently getting their very mind and soul absorbed into it, leaving only the empty husk of their former bodies behind.”

With a quick movement, I closed up to my loyal adviser and grasped him by the collar of his cloak, lifting him up to eye level. “You knew that this could happen? And you still let me do this? I should shatter every bone in your miserable body for this!” I yelled at the writhing minion, a fist already rising.

“I a-admit that th-this may seems tempting r-right now Milady b-but look. D-despite all hi-hindrances, you did it.” Gnarl stammered and pointed behind me.

Still holding that little fucker by his scruff I turned around and was greeted by a Minion portal. A real one, completely with yellow energy wafting out of it. I was so perplex that I didn´t even notice that I let go of Gnarl.

“And just in time it seems.” Gnarl directed my attention away from the portal and towards the collective mass of my Minions. All seven were standing in front of me, holding several things in their clawed hand, joyfully gibbering “Treasure!”, “Fallen soul.” and “For the Master.” The five foremost Minions were holding four yellow orbs and one blue orb of shimmering light, similar to the stuff coming out of the Minion portal. The other two were carrying my mace and helmet I had left behind at the pond and a big bag that obviously held all my loot respectively. As one, the Minions let go of the orbs which whirled around me for a moment only to be absorbed into my Gauntlet of Dominance.

“Ah, wonderful. You just absorbed four brown souls and one blue soul Milady. This should suffice for our needs.” Gnarl exclaimed joyfully, causing Onyx to give me a weary look. “Now, try to summon four brown Minions from the portal Milady. Since they are the kind with the closest connection to the dark Ruler, you should be able to call them even without a prober citadel. Go on, try it. It should be safe.”

Ignoring Gnarls helpful rant, I carefully approached the portal. Soon I felt the energy flowing from it but this time, it was different. It was… tamer, not nearly as radiant as before. More like a pleasant dip in an inflatable pool than a nosedive into the very soul of the universe.

A bit hesitant a raised my left hand, shortly wondering if I should utter some kind of command but the moment my hand reached its highest point, an unmistakable horn blared and with a ‘schlpp’, three brown Minions jumped out of the portal. The newcomers looked around confused until they found me. Three sets of eyes stared at me and suddenly, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me that send me stumbling.

Thankfully, Onyx was quick to offer me a shoulder to prop myself against. “Hey demonette. You all right?” she asked concerned.

“Just a bit dizzy, thanks sister.” I replied a bit shaky. “Hey, why are there only three new Minions?”

Walking up to me, Gnarl snapped his finger as in realization. “Well Milady, it seems that, without a prober tower and a functioning tower heart to channel your dark energy, the limit of Minions you can actively control is only ten. Myself not included.”

“Wha? Actively control?”

“Yes, you see Milady, even a dark Ruler can only control a limited amount of Minions at once, at least actively. On a sub-conscious level all Minions are linked and somewhat guided by your dark Magnificence in their actions but a Minions mind is a chaotic mess at best. To dominate and guide them actively can strain even the mightiest of Overlords. Normally the tower heart, the centerpiece of your dark dominion would help a great deal with that but seeing as you have none at the moment.”

Feeling better, I let go of Onyx shoulder and massaged my temple. “So, I take I should get a dark citadel or tower or whatever rather quickly then?”

Gnarl nodded in approval “Yes, this should be our top priority.”

“But does anyone of you by chance have a ‘tower heart’ at the ready? I never heard of such a thing before.” Onyx added her piece.

Damn, she-dragon had a point.

To my big surprise, Gnarl smiled. “This should be no problem. We only need to find a nexus, a point where strong ley lines connect and I should be able to remedy our dilemma. At least I hope so.”

“And pray tell, where should we find such a nexus thing?” I asked skeptically.

The wizened Minion tapped his walking stick at the ground for a moment, seemingly in deep thought. “To my knowledge and experience, a nexus normally forms at two locations. Deep inside the earth, near the core of the world or high up in a mighty mountain.”

“In a mountain?”

“Yes. Paradox, isn´t it?”

“Such a nexus, what would it look like anyway? For me, I mean?” I asked curiously.

Gnarl took a moment but finally said “Sadly, Milady, I knew very little about that. Just once, a former Overlord shared his insight about the nexi with me. As far as I recall, he described it as an incredible huge flare, majestic and terrific at the same time. Similar to a lighthouse on a high cliff amidst the wild sea or something. Why do you ask?”

With a victorious smile, I pointed to a long mountain range that stretched along the horizon seemingly endlessly.

Gnarl followed my finger, squeezing his eyes until he found it. “Elvendreck!” I heard him mutter.

Somehow, this made it only better. Like eating warm cookies fresh from the tray.

“What? What is there? What do you see?” Onyx asked confused at Gnarls and my behavior.

Gritting his teeth, Gnarl grumbled “It seems the Overlady has successfully detected a nexus inside that mountain range over there.” He turned to me “How did you detect this Milady? It’s barely the size of a pinprick from here.”

I gave a shrug while taking my helmet and my mace from the Minion who collected it for me. “To be honest? At first I did not. But then I had this feeling. Like something was tugging at my mind, pointing me in the right direction until I saw it.”

“Well, wasn’t that a lucky coincidence?” my adviser grumbled while the other Minions seemed content with snickering at his obvious misfortune.

“Sarcasm gives you wrinkles Gnarl.” I teased.

“Like I care!” he grumped loudly.

Onyx startetd to chuckle loudly.

“But have you any idea how long it would take to go to that mountains? I´m nearly two thousand years old Milady, I´m not made for marathons and mountain climbing!” Gnarl protested loudly.

“Well, one day by flight, probably three by walking.” Onyx suddenly said. “I know these mountains, they are called the Macintosh Hills. Lots of good caves but only few gemstone pockets.”

My smile grew wider.

“Well, isn’t that a nice coincidence?” I exclaimed, clapping my hand together “Looks like our path is clear then. As my first action as Overlady, I hereby order that we will go to these Macintosh Hills, find the nexus and built me an extremely epic citadel of darkness there. Afterwards we can all have free juice and cookies.”

My ten Minions cheered at my orders, either too stupid to understand that a long way of walking was ahead of us or simply not caring, Gnarl made a face as if I had just banned deep fried blubber nuggets from existence and Onyx just chortled.

Pointing the Beast at the distant mountains, I exclaimed “Excelsior!”

And so began a long and sometimes really brutal march towards our destination. After overcoming his sourpuss-ness (and after I talked Onyx into carrying him because I could no longer stand his whining), Gnarl used the following days to bestow some of his seemingly endless wisdom about how to be a proper Overlord upon me. From how to intimidate simple minded villagers over the basics of magic (obviously mostly about my Corruption spell since that was the only magic feat I could do at the moment), basic Minion control 101 to the fact that once we had a dark citadel up and running, I seemingly was obliged to find me some voluptuous woman as eye candy to decorate my throne room with. If they would feed him with grapes, even better. At my question why it had to be woman and not some hunky guys for example, Gnarl only snorted and declared that it was a sacred tradition for a Overlord to fill his palace with beautiful female slave-servants and just because I happened to be the first Overlady, we could not simply change a tradition born from the time when the first Overlord ever set out to rule the world with an ironclad fist.

My suggestion that he might even enjoy getting feed grapes by hunky, oiled guys only clad in a loincloth, Gnarl quickly fobbed off by suspiciously conveniently falling asleep due to his old age.

Umbra One, Gnarl Zero.

[A good two and a half days of walking later]

“We there yet?”

“Hungry.”

“Thirsty!”

“Feet hurt!”

I ignored the complaints from my loyal Minions and concentrated on the ley lines which permeated the ground in front of me. Since we had reached the mountains half a day ago, the magical lines were growing stronger as we were climbing. Gnarl had expressed the belief that we were already close to the nexus and I was willing to belief him.

Finally, we found the entrance to a big cave and I did not even have to switch to my ley sight to know we had found the nexus. Under my helmet, my hair began to stand up from the sheer power, the Minions suddenly seemed to brim with barley contained energy and even Onyx scales seemed to bristle.

Gnarl came to my side, a serious look on his face. “Milady, follow me.”

I nodded, we left Onyx and the Minions at the caves entrance and began our journey into the darkness. The little stone lantern of Gnarl only illuminated very little of our path.

After following my old guide for a while, we reached our destination. The air was dense with nearly graspable power as Gnarl turned towards me.

“Milady, please kneel.” he more ordered than asked me in a ceremonial tone and I complied. He took the small light stone from its string and showed it to me. “This, Milady, is the last known splinter of the arch-heart, the legendary very first tower heart ever in possession of the very first Overlord. Legend goes that it was a brought up from the deepest depths of the earth by the first Minions that ever served an Overlord. It is a sacred relic to all of Minion kind, passed down from minion master to minion master and kept safe during the generations. No matter how often so called Hero’s succeeded to slay the current Overlord, no matter how long the dark dominion laid in ruins, this splinter has always prevailed and with him, so did we.”

Reverently he held the fist-sized chunk of glowing stone towards me. It was then that I first noticed the small, nearly undetectable pulse coming from the splinter. It was almost, no, it was a heartbeat.

Ancient.

Adamant.

“What should I do Gnarl? You never told me about this before.” I rasped nervously.

“Touch the splinter Milady.” the old Minion said, almost softly. “Touch it and open your mind. Imagine your dark fortress, your throne, every corridor, every battlement. Let your essence flow into the stone. Use it to harness the power of the nexus and meld the very stone of this mountain into the form your heart desires.”

Hesitantly I did as Gnarl said and closed my eyes.

I felt the pulse of the arch-heart even through my gloves.

“Do it!” ordered Gnarls voice.

And I did.

Power flowed into me, filled my very being and my world went white.

Author's Note

Its alive! Pfeew.^^°

Okay, there was not much action, mostly I used it to explain background mechanics and stuff. Don´t worry, there will be Minion, Overlady and of course Ponee themed shenanigans soon.

Massive thanks to Pizzaro for kicking my butt to finish this chapter. I just had the worst case of writing block since long but that fellow made me break it. Give some applause please.^^

Dark Tower aquired. The very center of every dark Rulers domain.

Minion Horde Capacity: 10

Domination:
Destruction:

4. Fire, Dogs and Cosmic Cubes

4. Fire, Dogs and Cosmic Cubes

- 4. Fire, Dogs and Cosmic Cubes –

Soft.

So incredible soft.

It felt like I was lying on a puffy, little cotton-cloud, wrapped in a blanket made of kittens.

“Hmmmmyeeessss, that´s what momma likes.” I murmured softly, my eyes closed while I wiggled myself deeper into the fluffy-zone. “This is the best thing ever.”

“Well, I´m glad to hear that.”

Painfully fast my eyes shot open, with my head turning towards the voice beside me. I was greeted by the heavily mutilated, blood soaked face of an ochre coated Unicorn.

“Slept well my prime specimen?” the very dead Crystal Flask asked me with a literally face splitting grin.

Screaming on top of my lungs, I jolted up-right and nearly catapulted myself out of a really big, comfy bed I was lying in.

“Okay, okay, just a nightmare, just a nightmare.”

After the initial confusion wore of, I scanned my surroundings. I was in a sparsely decorated room made out of dark stone. The frame of the bed I was lying in seemed to be made of the same material but the matrass and the blanket seemed to be made of… burgundy red velvet? Felt absolutely incredible on my skin. Heavenly, even. My hand traced the lines in the smooth material as a small breeze blew into the room from a big window-door-thing on the left that seemed to lead to a balcony and made me shudder.

“Huh?”

I was butt naked!

Now, I never had a problem with sleeping Aú Naturel but only if I undressed myself and I was definitively fully dressed when I lost consciousness. So who undressed me?!? And more importantly, where the everloving clusterfuck were my clothes?

At least that certain problem solved itself as I spied my armor nicely situated on some kind of rack directly opposite of the bed and a bundle of my clothes right beside it on a small dresser.

Slipping my feet out from under my covers, I was pleasantly surprised by a rather warm floor. Good, cause cold feet after getting fresh out of my nice, toasty bed are number three in my ‘Shity Morning List’, only topped by a cold Toilet Seat and have run out of Coffee.

Looking through the neatly folded pile of my clothes, I produced the most important part of dignity saving necessities, my panty!

“Thank Whoever, it´s still there.”

I really liked that panty. White cotton with baby blue stripes. Yes, the stereotypical Anime panty. Shush!

After putting it on, I set out for a little discovery tour. Like I suspected, the big window/door led to an impressively sized balcony which offered me an even more impressive view of the surrounding terrain. What I suspected was a late morning Sun bathed the mountainside in a beautiful light and even the seemingly endless dirt planes I trekked through for days were looking kinda… nice now that I was not trapped in them anymore. Small white clouds drifting lazily through the aside from that empty sky, playthings of a pretty stiff breeze. For no specific reason I looked down…

“HOLY SHIT! HIGH, HIGH!!!”

It was this moment that I remembered about having teensy phobia of heights.

Backpedalling from the railing I clutched my chest in an attempt to stop my heart from trying to escape my damn ribcage! I was in a bloody tower, don´t know how many meters above the ground!

“Well, duh! Gnarl said something about a Tower, stupid.” I chastised myself as a small speck of yesterday came back to my mind. “Must admit, I never thought this would work so well… hey, wait a minute!”

If this Tower was indeed modelled after my thoughts when I touched the Arch Heart, there was bound to be bath and lo and behold, indeed there it was. Connected directly to the bedroom was a quite spacious bath. It had everything necessary, a wash-bowl, toilet and a big, sunk-in area in the floor which I suspected to be a shower that could also double as a tub if necessary. Replicas of Blue Minions, made from the same blackish stone and bronze, functioned as faucets and the showerhead but what really caught my eye was an honest to goddess full body mirror, held in a frame sculpted to look like a giant pair of suspiciously smirking Red Minions.

Hmm, weird. The whole bath seemed to be Blue themed so far. Eh, Wayne.<<

Approaching the mirror I took in the new sight of me as a whole for the first time. My face was like I had seen it in the pond where I met Onyx, my eyes shimmering orbs of whispy light. “Wow, weird square ten.” I brushed a stray lock behind my ears, only to discover that they had turned slightly pointy. “What am I now, a Drow or something?” I asked no one in particular.

Next, my gaze wandered down my body. The black skin was still somewhat unsettling but at least everything seemed to be in the right place.

Boobs still there? Check-erony.

Bellybutton? Check.

Butt still there, still cute? Check and check.

Slightly defined but definitively existing Girl-Abs? Check… wait, what? I traced the outlines of my now toned stomach with the hesitation of a Bomb Disarmer on his first day before exclaiming “My pudge is gone! Why is my pudge gone? I liked my pudge, I want my pudge back! Right now!”

I spend the next minutes staring at my new physique with a pretty much awestruck expression. My old body was by no means obese but years of excessively playing computer games, pen and paper sessions, beer, honey meat and metric fucktons of every sweet stuff known to mankind had left me with quite a visible deposit of fat around my hips, my belly and on my thighs.

My new self on the other hand was toned to a degree that it could rival Vivianne´s and boy, was that girl deliciously toned. Again, I drooled a bit from the thought.

“Ah, good morning Milady. It is good to see you up and awake.” An old, familiar voice croaked and pulled me out of my thoughts.

Turning around, I noticed Gnarl standing in the doors frame. The old Minion had an appraising smile adorning his wrinkly face and a weird twinkle in his eyes.

“Peeping on your boss already, you old lecher? You can´t wait until I take a shower eh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms.

“No Milady, more like inspecting the material I will be working with and if I might say so, it seems like the dark Fate was well meaning towards me.” Gnarl answered in what he probably considered a pacifying tone. “You are a halfway decent start.”

“Be glad that I have no hairbrush or some flip-flops to throw at your face right now.”

With a throaty chuckle, Gnarl bowed a bit, gesticulating with his cane towards my bedroom. “If Milady would get dressed, it would be my pleasure to show you your new tower. It turned out… better than I had excepted.”

“Why bordering to get dressed? Somehow I seem to end up naked anyway.” I quipped, walking past my adviser.

“Oh. Well, I apologize. That was somehow my doing…” Gnarl began.

I shot him a glare that rivaled Superman’s Heat-Vision after an extended powernap in the heart of the sun.

“Ehrm… no, no Milady, nor me or the other Minions undressed you, it was the dragon. Mumbled something about ‘girl reasons’ and shooed us out of Milady’s bedchambers after we brought you there.” Gnarl hastily finished. “Besides, this is a very good moment to remind your Ladyship of Overlord lesson number three ‘The right appearance is important.’ It may be comfortable to be only in underwear but as a dark Ruler, your Ladyship needs to make it crystal clear to everyone who might cross your path that you are no one to be trifled with and beg pardon but a rather minimalistic panty does simply not convey the same message as a set of solid armor. This is almost as important as Overlord lesson number two ‘A proper Overlord always needs a Mistress. Or more, depending on the tower’.”

“Point taken Phil.”

After getting my butt in gear, Gnarl led me out of my bedroom and into a lounge kind of room. It was quite spacious and for the moment consisted only off a big fireplace that looked like the gaping maw of a Red Minion.

“It is still a bit empty Milady but this is the lounge of your towers residential level. The Minions are still gathering every bit of furniture that came to be together with the tower. Up until now, we have a nicely furnished kitchen including a few weeks’ worth of basic foodstuff, a fitting throne for an Overlady like yourself and the inventory of your Ladyships private quarters.” Gnarl explained in a matter of fact tone.

“Came to be?” That confused me a tad.

“Oh yes Milady, as it created the tower, the Arch Heart used every available raw material in the close proximity of the Nexus from the very stone of the mountain to raw ore and the occasional mountain goat to bring your envisioned fortress into existence.”

“So the Arch Heart built all this from scrap?” Holy Hell, this little chunk of stone was incredible. Speaking of it, the artifact was again at its place, dangling over Gnarls scalp but it was not glowing anymore.

Noticing my worried glance, Gnarl waved a wrinkled claw “Oh don´t worry Milady. The Arch Heart simply needs to reload its reserves for the next few centuries or so while passively absorbing ambient magical energy. Until then, we should try and avoid to bring destruction to our new fortress.”

I ‘aha´ed’ my affirmation. Getting my awesome new tower trashed was something I had veeeeery low on my list. Letting alone that I would probably not even live a single damn century even if I played my cards right. Although, magic…

A flock of Minions in workers overalls and construction helmets appeared out of nowhere, carrying an impossible big table made of stone into yet another empty room.

“Ah, perfect. This is the map table for your Ladyships tactical room.” Gnarl helpfully supplied me with another tidbit about my new home. “Once it is completed, your dark Magnificence will be able to coordinate the Minions and your whole dark domain from there.”

Next I followed Gnarl into a hugeass, dome-like room and right smackdab in the middle of it was floating an honest to goddess Tower Heart! The giant ball of crystal hummed low as it rotated around itself in a snail’s pace. Left hand of the heart laid the measly few bags of bits I had looted from Crystal Flask and his mercs.

“This Milady, is your tower hearts room but I would guess it can double as your treasure chamber too, seeing as we found no sufficient room until now and… hey, that is not for eating!” Gnarl yelled mid-sentence as he spied Onyx. The dragoness was drooling over my towers power source.

With an annoyed huff, the black She-Dragon faced us. “Keep your pants on, I actually have some self-restraint, believe it or not.” As her eyes met mine, the pissed expression turned into a relieved one. “Hey Umbra, good to see you back on your feet. Got us all a bit worried there, blacking out like that. Well, mostly Gnarl and your kobolds.”

“Well, I would like to see you harness the raw magical power of a whole fucking world to bring an awesome new fortress of epicness into existence without suffering a wee little strain.” I countered.

A big smirk adorning her face, Onyx walked over and gently punched my shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, boo ho ho you big baby. You´re a pretty weak demon, aren´t you? Hn?”

Countering my scaly friends smile with my own, I said “Well, rub it in, will you? And here I was considering letting you sleep in my treasury once we had amassed a good amount of riches.” That however had pretty much the opposite effect of what I would have suspected.

Everything fell out of Onyx´ face but she composed herself pretty quick, giving me a half surprised, half amused smirk. “Already trying to get under my tail eh? Never thought you would be so direct. We barely knew each other for a few days. You are worse than most guys I know.”

This caused my train of thought to crash in a cataclysmic explosion with no survivors within a radius of twenty kilometers around the site of the tragedy. “Wat?”

Flicking my nose with her tails tip as she noticed my without a doubt rigid posture, Onyx continued “Well, inviting a dragoness to sleep in your horde is normally an unmistakable hint that you want to mate with her.”

Okaa~ay, defs not a good moment to mention that I am an obsessive collector of “The lusty Argonian Maid” books in every Elder Scrolls game ever made or my accounts on certain websites. Or ever at all!

With a devious smile, Onyx bumped my hips playfully with her own. “Geez, calm down, will you? I´m just teasing you.” Bursting into laughter, the black dragoness made her way to the lounge. “Well, I let you cool off now, while I go for a little flight outta the window.”

I swear I had steam wafting of my head right there. At least my cheeks felt like a furnace. Watching Onyx stroll off I finally regained enough mental capacities to shout “Yeah… well… fly into a storm cloud, will you?” after her.

Wow. Smart, are we?<< a little voice in my head snarked.

Stifling an amused laugh, Gnarl mercifully made his presence known to me again. “Gehehe, well, that was something. If Milady does not find suitable candidates in the future you could always take the dragoness as a mistress. She definitively has a fitting character.”

“Given that I´m a fan of fish taco at all.” I rushed out way to hasty.

Stroking his beard slowly with a knowing smirk Gnarl simply said “Of course Milady, of course. Now please follow me. There is still the throne room and the brood-pits I need to show you. We could make a detour to the kitchen too, for a nice breakfast for your Ladyship.”

“Food. Foods sounds good.” I spluttered “Lead the way Gnarl.”

Our next stop was the throne room. My throne room. It was pretty impressive. Even as the big, round and empty waste of space it was at the moment, only occupied by a throne carved from stone, that was decorated with countless intertwined Minions making up the backrest and tattered, red-ish flags decorating the walls. Upon closer inspection of the flags, I noticed that they were decorated with the stylized outlines of an Overlords helmet. Well, one could have far worse things for a personal crest. The big windows all around were a nice touch to. I could not really recall all those details but it seemed my sub-consciousness did a pretty swell job as an architect.

Following Gnarl, I was led down a winding staircase, deep into the bowels of my tower. I was surprised by the lack of floaty stone platforms because I really liked that feature but some evil bitch part of my mind seemed to favor stairs.

The brood-pits on the other hand were pretty rad looking to be honest. Large and deep cracks with steam billowing out of them in the ground divided the big cave into four different areas, each for one Minion Hive. The only present Hive was the Brown Hive. It somehow looked like an anthill cobbled together with lots of palisades and makeshift watchtowers. Cheerful gibbering Browns ran to and fro, chasing rodents of unusual size or each other with wild swinging clubs.

The presumed area for the Red Hive was somehow semi-volcanic, with bubbling craters full of molten lava. The place for the Greens was a surprisingly lush jungle like area with lots of ferns, giant mushrooms and I could swear I saw a few apple sized spiders skitter around. The Blue area looked like some kind of pond, with big lily pads and a single small island for the Hive itself. Makeshift rope bridges and runways connected all areas.

Not far behind the general area, I spied a large river with a single small, yoda-esk hut at its bank. A little trail of smoke came from the skew-whiff chimney, showing that it was inhabited.

The pitter-patter of webbed feet brought me back to the here and now (that and Gnarl clearing his throat). There, right in front of me stood the Reaper himself. Well, or rather the Minion version of the Reaper. An ancient looking Blue Minion, donning a motley grey robe and carrying a scythe with a notched blade met my eyes with his own.

“Milady, this is Norbert. He is the brood-master, responsible for raising the new Minions and also he, in his position as the Minion Reaper, is able to raise fallen Minions from the dead. I admit, I was extremely surprised when we met down here during my first inspections but this should prove extremely useful in the future.” Gnarl supplied.

Stroking the weird gill-thingies that made up some kind of chinbeard, Norbert the Minion Dead scrutinized me with the true diligence of aeon old being. Shivers ran down my spine as the scythe bearing Minion waddled around me. Finally Norbert finished his inspection, coming to a halt right in front of me where he started. The corners of his mouth curled up nearly unnoticeable as Norbert gave a short nod, propped on his tool of office. “Very well. I welcome you to the brood-pits dark lady. I, Norbert, will serve you to the best of my abilities.” The ancient Blue stated with a calm voice that resonated eerily in the big cavern before turning around on the spot and waddling towards the lonely hut at the rivers bank.

“Now, that went rather well Milady. Norbert seems to really like you.” Gnarl stated, sounding really satisfied for some reason.

“You think so? I had the feeling that he tried to peer straight into my freakin´ soul or something.” I rubbed my arms to ward of the sudden feeling of chilling cold.

“Oh, I am pretty sure that he has Milady.”

“Scuse me?”

“Nothing, nothing. Now, how about the promised breakfast Milady?” Gnarl clapped his claws together before leading me back to the higher levels of the tower. Conveniently the kitchen and an until now completely empty dining room were located only on level above my throne room.

The kitchen was already fully furnished like Gnarl said and a Brown Minion wearing a chef’s hat was constantly moving from pots to pans to cupboards, doing chef things. A brief introduction later, I knew him as Wiener, my new cook.

Wiener was, like most Minions, a scarce (coherent) speaker but the little guy let his actions speak for him and so far his actions consisted of putting a huge loaf of bread, butter and a chalice filled with wine in front of me. Even though I was never a friend of plain butter on bread, right now I simply wolfed down my food.

While eating, I squeezed Gnarl for some more information’s. Turned out the Arch Heart somehow milked enough souls out of the Nexus to bring exactly one hundred Browns into existence. Also, Gnarl somehow figured out that I probably should be able to actively control thirty Minions now.

“Sho, what are we gonna do now?” I asked between stuffing my face.

Helping himself with what looked suspiciously like some kind of Mc Nuggets from a nearby frying pan, Gnarl pondered my question for a moment before answering. “Well Milady, we are still short of three Hives so I took the liberty of sending out scouts…”

Like on cue, the sound of tapping feet could be heard and a very dusty Minion skidded into the kitchen, coming to a halt in front of Gnarl and me.

“Speaking of the Minion and he shall appear.” Gnarl chuckled “Milady, this is Sniffle, one of the few Browns with a halfway decent set of skills when it comes to scouting.”

Sniffle immediately started gibbering in what I in a moment of extreme smarty-pantsness dubbed ‘Minionese’, with my absolutely loyal adviser listening attentively. Halfway through Sniffles report, Gnarls face lit up like a gasoline depot after a visit from a pyromaniac.

“Great news Milady. Sniffle here just informed me that they have found the Red Minions. Obviously they are kept prisoner by some kind of… well, it sounds rather ridiculous Milady…” Gnarl wrung his claws with rare hesitance.

“Well, humor me my walnutty friend.”

“Well… obviously the Reds are prisoners of some kind of dog creatures that run a mining operation of sorts.”

What the everloving clusterfuck?!? My Minions were held prisoner by dogs? Mining dogs? I don´t know how I managed to not shout out ‘Diamond Dogs’ loud but I did. If Gnarl would tell me that they use them to cook their food next, I would so be calling cheap Halfling mission knock-off!

Gnarl looked at me, head slightly cocked to the side “Milady, are you all right?”

Obviously my pokerface had not been that good. “Äh, no, I mean, yes. Yes I´m all right. You were right Gnarl, that sounds indeed ridiculous. Mining dogs. Ah ha ha…”

That statement seemed to satiate my adviser as he turned back to Sniffle, talking in Minionese again. The Scout-Minion nodded a few times, gibbered a half comprehensible goodbye and scampered off.

Rubbing his claws, Gnarl looked pretty happy as he stated “Wonderful, wonderful. Finally we are making some progress. Once Milady has secured the Red Hive, we will be able to proceed more aggressive with our campaign. Also, should we be able to enslave these dog-things, we would have a steady source of income to start bigger raids. Please follow me back to your Ladyships throne room and I will explain the towers teleport platform to you.”

Finishing the last bits of my breakfast, I followed Gnarl once again. Did that quite a lot lately, I noticed. Once we reached our destination, I noticed another thing. Well, two. One, right in the center of the room, a big circle of blue runes pulsed with a rather ominous light that was adding a huge portion to the general ‘evil Overlady-ness’ of the place and two, Onyx. The dragoness entered the room through one of the big windows just as Gnarl and I did through the door.

“Hey demonette, what’s going on? Out there, your little kobolds are running around like ants whose hill was set on fire.” Onyx asked puzzled.

“Ah, perfect. Your Ladyship can take the walking flamethrower with you. I am mostly positive that a dragon should be useful on this endeavor. At least as a distraction to cover Milady’s retreat should things go awry.” Gnarl addressed both of us in his typical manner while he inspected the glowing runes.

“Eh, what? Care to repeat that you calcified, old fart?” My draconic friend snarled, baring her impressive teeth a bit.

Deciding not to add more napalm to the inferno, I said “Well, you remember what I told you about my Minions while we were trekking? Seems like my Reds are held captive in some sort of mine… Gnarl, where did you say this mine was again?”

“Oh, if Sniffle is right, it is several days from the Tower but conveniently the scouts found a ley-knot big enough for a one-way teleport. Once your are there Milady, it should pose no problem to find a more fitting location to summon your Minions and a permanent portal that can be used both ways.”

“Yeah, right. Anyways, I am going to get them back and maybe you would like to come with me? We´re gonna smash some stuff, scare the daylight out of everyone stupid enough to mess with us. Come on, this will be fun. Maybe we even find something valuable to loot during the whole thing.” I coaxed with a, hopefully, winning smile.

Onyx raised a brow (or what would count as a brow on a dragoness, seeing that she had not a single hair on her whole body) and ruffled her wings a bit.

“Come oo~oon, you know you want to~” I sing-songed. If this was going to be violent and sure as fuck it would, Onyx would be an immense help. You just don´t mess with fire-breath, diamond cutting claws and a hot temper wrapped up in the armored hide of a dragon if you have at least one active brain-cell left.

Finally, Onyx caved in. She threw her claws up with an annoyed expression. “Tch, fine, fine, I´ll tag along.” Her expression turned into a smug one “I mean, someone needs to save your butt if you mess up, hn Umbra?”

That seemed to somehow offend Gnarl because the old Minion shook his stick angrily at Onyx. “Don´t be so full of yourself you oversized handbag. We Minions are more than capable to protect our Lady if the need should arise!”

Snorting amused, Onyx waved Gnarl off. “Yeah, sure.”

“Well, it sure is nice to know that I am so cosseted.” I quipped smirking at Gnarls and Onyx’ bickering, ready to step between the two should it become necessary. Or maybe I would just stand there and watch them duke it out. Or hide behind my throne if push would come to shove.

With a huff, my adviser turned to me. “Anyways Milady, let us not waste time with idle talk. There is evil that needs to be done, Minions who want to be found.” A group of Minions came up to me, carrying the Beast and my helmet. As I took them Gnarl smiled. “Now, that is a view that warms my old, black heart. A battle-ready dark Ruler, prepared to unleash the Minions of war onto the world. Now Milady, please step into the runic circle and in a heartbeat you will find yourself at your destination. Do not worry, it should be safe.”

“Should be?”

“Ach, don´t worry Milady. Now off you go, chop-chop.” Gnarl shooed me on the platform.

“Don´t worry, I´m right behind you Umbra. But hey, if you end up as a pile of dust by chance, can I have your tower? It would make for a totally radical horde.” I heard Onyx say from behind me.

“Over my dead body!” Gnarl immediately barked.

“That’s manageable.” I could practically hear Onyx show of a full-fanged smile as an answer.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tightened my grip around my weapon and stared at the floor. I tapped it with a boot. “Hey, how does this wo…”

“..rk?” A sudden flash of blue light later I was not in my tower anymore. I was still somewhere in the mountains, if the scraggy environment was any indication. A breeze arose and I was able to smell an interesting mixture of things. Smoke, wet dogs and sulfur. Giving in to my curiosity, I followed the scent and after only a few meters I came to a halt. There, in front of me was the mine. It was more looking like a stone pit really, a big crater swarming with life like an reversed anthill. Even from my look-out I could identify the hunched over creatures milling around down there clearly as Diamond Dogs. With growing curiosity, I watched the bipedal canine’s mill around. Some dogs wearing shabby vests were digging in shallow holes seemingly without much of a plan. Other dogs clad in simple grey armor seemed just to stand around or do short patrols, bearing crude spears just like in the show. At the far end of the pit, a large tunnel led underground. Counting on my luck, my Reds were held captive at the deepest point of the whole burrow.

“Wow, Diamond Dogs. Never thought I would see a pack that big so close to the Badlands. Normally they settle in areas with a much higher gemstone concentration.” Onyx stated as she suddenly appeared behind me.

“Diamond Dogs? Really? They look more like, dunno, Shale Mutts to me or something.” I watched a particular dog carrying a bucket full of faintly shimmering chunks of stone out of his hole and towards some kind of slide that led into the deeps of the pit.

“Don´t underestimate them Umbra. They may not look like much but even as stupid as they are, they can overwhelm capable fighters with their mass. Plus they like to attack from below. Stupid tikes.” Onyx crossed her arms angrily as she watched the dogs run to and fro.

Turning to her, I saw a pretty dark expression on Onyx face. Guess there was some bad blood with the mutts in her past. “Sounds like you ran into them once or twice. What happened? Did they stole your favorite gems?”

“Something like that. I don´t wanna talk about it right now.” Onyx mumbled rather glumly.

“Wow, sorry, did not mean to re-open old wounds. For now, let us go down there and find the portal so I can summon my Minions. Then we get us a big newspaper and beat some obedience into these mutts. Sounds good?” I offered.

That brought a smile back onto Onyx features. “Yeah, sounds great. Just instead of a newspaper, I´ll use my claws.”

“That´s acceptable.” I shouldered my mace as Onyx began to make her way down the pits wall. The way down was remarkably unremarkable. I nearly slipped thrice much to She-Dragons exhilaration. Once we reached ground level, I switched to ley-sight and behold, there was the location Gnarl had talked about. To me, it was like a leak in the ley-lines, spouting the lifejuice of the universe.

Very good Milady. You made it to the crack. Now, just reach out and the portal should come out.<< Gnarls voice suddenly rang in my ears.

Uuh, telepathy, nice. Test, test. Does this work both ways?<<

After a short pause, Gnarls voice buzzed again >>Uhm, technically it should Milady. Though I must admit all dark Rulers before your Ladyship never bothered to use the link to me in that way.”

Well, then I´ll be the first. Booyah.<< I added a mental smirk and fist-pump. This promised to be one hella fun.

“Hey. Hey Umbra! You still here?” A black claw was waved in front of my face.

“Oh, eh? Yes, still here. Just got a call from Gnarl.” I ignored my scaly companions puzzled look like a Pro “Anyways, we´re here. I think I should be able to call a portal here. Well, let´s see, how do I do this?” I held out my left hand and focused my thoughts. Normally these portals should be poppin´ up on their own once I am near them, shouldn´t they?

“Wow Umbra. You have like, no plan at all, have you?” Onyx commented with the tiniest bit of concern coloring her words.

“Until now, following my gut instinct worked pretty well.”

Onyx grimaced, her tail beating a nice rhythm on the ground. “Please tell me you have at least some kind of plan? Twelve percent of a plan? A rough idea? Anything?”

I was about to retort as a low rumble could be heard from bellow our feet. Onyx flared her wings and her pupils became thinner. I for my part tightened the grip around the Beast. Did the dogs saw us? Were we about to end up as chewing toys for some mutts? Would they use us for labor? I highly doubted that I would be able to whine my way out…

With a showy flash of light, a half-circle of black pillars grew from the ground, followed closely by a big round stone plate as a centerpiece, that had faintly glowing runes all over its surface. After that, a much smaller Minion portal grew right beside it, yellowish fog wafting out of it. After a few seconds, the bald head of a Brown appeared and soon the little kobold was standing in front of me, performing an enthusiastic salute.

Perfect Milady. You just established a waypoint portal that can be used to travel to your tower and back. Now, gather your Minions and save the Reds so we can get our little campaign of darkness and terror started.<< Gnarls excited voice buzzed in my ears.

With a boulder off my shoulders, I wasted no time and with a series of ‘schlpp!’-sounds and joyful exclamations, my little army grew from one to thirty in no time. With a wide smirk under my helmet, I turned to Onyx. “Well my scaly friend, for starters I have these.” I pointed at the mass of demented smiles and a disposition for senseless violence. “I think they should be quite efficient as our newspaper, wouldn´t you say?”

“Yeah, yeah, let´s just get this show on the road so we can go back home. This place stinks and we haven’t even entered it properly yet.” Onyx grumped.

“Sure, let´s rock. You there,” I addressed my Minions, pointing my hand at the only visible entrance to the pit I could see “form two groups, go over there and hold the position until I say otherwise. Let no one in or out.” With a satisfied nod, I watched the Browns execute my order, effectively blocking the way just in case. Okay, one thing left to do before we would jump head over heels into the fray. “Ey, Onyx?”

“Yes?”

“I just wanted to say… y´know, thank you. That you kicked Gnarl out of my bedroom and did not let him undress me when I was out like a light.” I shivered at the thought of the old Minion and his grabby claws all over me “How did you figure out that I would not sleep in my armor?”

“No big deal Umbra. We girls have to watch out for each other hn?” Onyx smiled toothy. “Bout that, I figured since your all nice and squishy under your shell you would be like those ponies. They never sleep in armor.”

“Sounds like you know some ponies rather well hm?”

“More or less. Hey, aren’t we here to get your kobolds back and beat up some dogs?”

“Right. Let´s go then.” With a queasy feeling growing in my stomach, I strode past my Minions, calling them to my side again and into the dogs territory. I could feel Onyx and the Minions presence behind me which was somehow reassuring. Maybe I would be able to intimidate these mutts enough so that they would just hand over my hive and surrender themselves to me.

Heh yeah, fat chance.

Three dogs in armor noticed me almost immediately after entering the premises and hobbled over in a three-legged fashion, holding their spears ready with one forepaw. They looked like some kind of bulldogs.

“Hey! You there! You no dog! What you doing here?” the leading dogs barked aggressively.

“Well, ehrm…” I took a quick peek over my shoulder to make sure if Onyx and my Minions were still there.

Milady, don´t beat around the bushes. Show these dogs that you are superior! Make them cower in fear for their miserable, flea-ridden lives at your boots!<< Gnarls voice went off in my ears again.

The old coot was right. If you showed a dog that you were afraid, it would bite. So no fear girl! Gathering all my moxie I took a step forward, attempting to look as tall and imposing as possible. “Yeah, damn right! I am no dog, I am Umbra the Overlady. I am the dark Ruler, the Mistress of Minions. I am all the things that go bump in the night and I am here to take my Red Minions back that you are holding captive. Also, you will hand over all off your treasures and swear loyalty to me or else I will… I will… ehrm… yes, or else I will have my fearsome dragon here burn your miserable dwellings to ashes and make you eat your own tails!”

The guard dogs looked at me with cocked heads and confused expressions. Probably used to big words for them.

“Okay, for stupid’s now. Me Umbra. Me Overlady. Me take back little fire-throwers and will be new pack leader or else I will make you all big aua boo-boo!”

That however they seemed to understand, seeing as the dogs began to laugh loudly. After a while, the leader wiped a tear from his eyes after he calmed down enough. “Bwah ha ha, you funny. You wanna be pack leader? You and black dragon be new diggers for rest of your lives. Get them!” At that, the other two dogs moved forward to capture us.

Whelp, so much for a peaceful surrender. Before I could formulate a coherent thought, I raised my left hand like a reflex and a horn-signal could be heard. Immediately my Browns surged forward and onto the guard dogs with wildly swinging clubs and screeched battle-cries.

The two advancing dogs literally drowned in an avalanche of wiry bodies while the third showed at least traces of intelligence. He avoided the fate of his unlucky brethren as he ran around the wild brawl, right at me.

The dog thrust his spear forward and time slowed down. With my heart beating a furious staccato, I watched the spearhead with morbid curiosity.

Milady! Do something!<< Gnarl yelled in my ears.

Yeah, do something. Anything. Just don’t let him impale you, you fuckwit!<< my own inner voices screamed at me all at once.

“Fuck!” I screamed as the rusty weapon scraped along my pauldron thanks to a badly aimed thrust, scaring the everloving shit out of me. The impact hurt but I was still alive. Adrenalin hammered through my system as I fixated the guard dog. I could see the disappointed expression on his ugly mug as the dog readied his weapon for the second try.

With a shout that was even parts angry and afraid, I swung the Beast in an upwards arc, catching the dog in his chest plate and send him stumbling back into the Minion-Dog pile with a visible dent in his protective gear. The sound of the impact of my heavy weapon on crude armor made me wince.

Quick Milady, this is a golden opportunity. Use your corruption spell on those mutts. Use it to hammer the fear of their new ruler into their two brain cells!<< Gnarl instructed me. I could practically hear him gesticulate wildly as he did so.

I wasted no time, called back my Minions and built up the magic in my hand. No need for them to get caught in the crossfire. As soon as I had a clear field of fire, I let loose. Crackling arcs of lightning jumped from my left hand and into the three dogs. Their expressions changed from confusion to pain as they squirmed howling on the ground in front of me.

Yes, like that Milady. Keep the spell up until their free will crumbles like an decayed bone under the heel of a rock giant!<< Gnarl supplied mentally.

I felt something… weird. The moment my spell made contact with the dogs, it felt like I was pressing against a wall of sorts. Resistance. I could not remember feeling something like this before when I used my spell on Griffin Mc Jerkass. Or maybe I did and just did not remember it. It felt like I was pressing my forehead against the dog’s foreheads, staring them in the eyes and trying to make clear that I am the top bitch now in some sort of pushing contest. Surprisingly it didn’t took long until I felt the resistance was washed away like a sandcastle facing a tsunami.

Very good Milady. Now stop the spell. More and you will have three dust piles instead of three slaves. Not that vaporizing these mutts would not work in your Ladyships favor to cement your superiority but why waste useful cannon fodder?<< Gnarl cackled.

Ending my spell, I watched the dogs attentively. After they stopped howling and trashing around, they stoop up shakily. Seeing them struggle to stand up-right and the small trails of smoke waft of from their bodies, I felt a weird cold crawl into my stomach. >>Ey, no getting cold feet now. They had the chance to surrender and they choose the hard way. They got what they asked for!<< the loudest of my inner voices raged at me. “Easy for you to say, you’re just a voice in my head.” I mumbled back under my breath. “Okay. Hey dogs. Who´s your boss now?”

The Diamond Dogs looked at me, blinking. “You is boss, Alpha.” They answered submissively. Neato, it worked obviously.

“Hehe, this is great. I´m gonna call you Noodles, Fifi and Lassie.” I could not help but smile a teensy tiny bit malevolent as I pointed at the dogs, renaming them.

Milady, please stop playing with those mutts and return to your duties. There are still Minions to be found!<< Gnarl grumped over our mind-link.

“Hehe, okay, sorry Gnarl. Got a bit caught up in the moment.”

A pained yowl made me turn around and witness a scene of, admittedly, pretty awesome action. My Minions had split up and were engaging several dogs in combat. The little buggers were bludgeoning the literal shit out of the unlucky Diamond Dogs even though I saw a few Minions being impaled by lucky spear thrusts or shredded by sharp claws. They even dissolved afterwards with the iconic skull shaped cloud.

“Hey Umbra! You are welcome to do something else than talking with thin air! This is your show after all!” Onyx shouted, using her tail to trip one guard dog while she delivered a solid straight right to another dogs face, sending it´s helmet flying. Two more dogs were already laying to her feet, looking like they had been mauled by an, well… angry dragon.

“Tone it down a bit Onyx. I need as many as possible for later.” I made my way over to Onyx. My Minions had been victorious in their respective battles while their opponents seemed to have fled the scene as proven by the fact that no lifeforce was presented to me by my loyal Minions. The thing about being linked to me on a subconscious level seemed to have them all drilled onto conquering this lovely hole in the ground with as much living inhabitants as possible. With a gesture, I called them back and did a quick headcount. I was down four Minions but the surviving kobolds were now sporting various power-ups in form of dented helmets and some spears that looked more like pikes in comparison to their new owners size.

“Meh.” Onyx kicked one of the downed dogs and looked at me questioningly. “So, what now?”

I shrugged “My best guess would be going down the dogs hole.”

At that, Onyx flared her wings and shook her horned head. “No way demonette. No treasure is worth going down such a stinking dog hole. I hate these tunnels. They are damp, dark and most important, they can come down on your head every damn second!” She even made a step back to punctuate her point.

Gnawing at my lip, I weighted my options. I had counted on Onyx muscles and general intimidation factor against the dogs but seeing how strongly she was against entering the den, it looked like I could forget that. Well, still had my Minions. They should do the trick too. Also, if everything went down the drain, I could just run like a little bitch. No shame in a tactical retreat. “Okay, okay. You don´t like dog tunnels, I get it. So, think you could stay out here and keep an eye on the portal for me? I don´t need any dogs sneaking in my tower and pissing on the carpets.” I offered.

Looking slightly miffed, Onyx put her fists on her hips “Do I look like some of these mutts to you Umbra?” I was about to say something pacifying as she cut me off “Fine, I play watchdragon for ya but let me make one thing clear. If you die down there, don´t except me to drag your sorry carcass out of there. If you kick the bucket, I will leave you in that hole and take your tower for myself. Got that?”

“You made you point my dear dragoness,” I conceded before addressing the gibbering horde “Well, onwards my Minions. To blood and loot!” With that, I entered the Dogs Den, Minions and brainwashed Diamond Dogs in tow.

It was dark. I could barely see farther then three meters. Four if one were generous. Also, it stank. But what really surprised me was the utter lack of resistance I met down here. Me and my little invasion force were walking the tunnels for quite a while now and the only resistance we met so far had only consisted of a lone dog that tried to ambush me from a small hole in the main tunnels ceiling.

My stomach still lurched a bit, remembering how my Minions mulched the poor mutt, presenting me a flickering, brown soul afterwards.

We reached a larger room that was stuffed under the ceiling with barrels, crates and… vases? Seriously? Remembering that most of my Minions still were only sporting their clubs, I gestured to my kobolds, sending them out with a mental command. Happily they obliged and shredded through the defenseless wooden containers, leaving only sawdust in their wake. I watched with amusement as they retrieved several Diamond Dog helmets and a few pickaxes to replace their clubs. Huh? Why would Diamond Dogs need pickaxes? Choosing to ignore this, my wandering gaze fell upon a simple iron lattice door. I stepped closer and my mouth started to water. Just behind the door was an honest to fuck treasure chamber. Moderate piles of gold glimmered in the torchlight, big gemstones dotting the piles like stars the night sky and right in the middle of all sat what looked like the lovechild of a volcano and a flugelhorn.

“The red Hive!”

The red Hive!<<

Gnarl and I exclaimed simultaneously. I searched the door for a handle of sorts but nope, no handle. Why should it ever be easy? Just a big, old-fashioned and of course, locked padlock. Fuck you very much universe!

Wait, a padlock? Just a simple padlock? Who in his or her right mind would secure a treasure chamber with just a padlock? I mean, Diamond Dogs could probably shred this thing in seconds without breaking a sweat. Or anyone else with enough strength and a heavy, blunt weapon.

Two well measured strikes of the unleashed Beast and an annihilated padlock later, I was standing in the treasure chamber, trying my best not to try an Uncle Scrooge. Instead I ordered eight of my Minions to carry the Hive back to the portal and afterwards to start relocating the treasure to my tower too. But turned out the Browns were unable to touch the Reds birthplace without bursting into flames so I ordered them to start with the treasure first. That done, I indulged myself a bit by throwing handfuls of coins into the air to rain down on me. As the coins pinged of my armor and helmet, I suddenly heard a guy’s voice.

"Uhh. This is the...Animorph...Wade. Call me...if you need any help?"

“Uh? Who said that?” I could not see anyone but my Minions and Dogs in the room. “Did you hear that too?” My lackeys gave me blank looks and I questioned my mental health just a wee lil´ bit. Until I heard it again. This time I was able to somewhat pinpoint the location. The voice came from my own helmet!

“Gah, my helmet is possessed!” I tossed my headgear on the ground and prepared myself to smash it and the unholy spirit possessing it with my mace as a small, blue thing fell out of it. Curious, I picked it up for further inspection. It was a cube. A blue glowing cube. Looked a bit like a dice sized tesseract. It was probably buried in the coins I had showered myself with and somehow slipped into my helmet.

“Well, what in the name of St. Pete’s sanitary sandals is that?” I asked no one in particular. I could feel something weird from it, but the good way of weird. Like, a Nutella and cheese sandwich or cucumber with mustard weird.

Deciding to investigate this mini tesseract later, I stuffed it into my belt pouch. I still had a Dog Den to conquer and a tiny voice in my mind kept yelling at me that I would need to best some kind of Boss before I could claim this lovely hole in the ground for my growing dark domain.

Following the only available passage, I finally stepped into a really large room. A wall of hot air greeted me, paired with the smell of hot iron. I was in a forge! All around, weapons and armor in different states of completion hung or lay around. Several big anvils stood here and there and the whole room was enlightened by a huge ass smith hearth, filled to the brim white-hot coals. Half a dozen small cages were arranged around the hearth, each containing a single Red Minion, probably being used to regulate the fires exact temperature if I had to guess. A system of makeshift chimneys coming down from the ceiling seemed to function as an exhaust system. A huge smelter stood in the background, assumingly full of molten metal, ready to be poured in forms and forged.

“Wow.” was all I could say.

“Impressed by my forge, I take?” A deep voice rumbled and shook me out of my thoughts.

“Huh? Oh… yeah… pretty sweet forge I say.” I rushed out in a reflex.

“I get that a lot. Actually, no, that is not true. Since no creature besides me has been ever granted the right to enter it.” A big shadow moved between the racks and tools. “But here you are, a foolish little intruder waltzing into my sanctum like you owned it. I heard you wish to challenge me to a fight over my pack? When I first heard it, I thought another Alpha had showed up, a without a doubt impressive rival I assumed. But what I see does not impress me at all.” With the sentence finished, the shadow leaped right in front of me.

Mother of every known god, that´s what I would call a Diamond Dog! The creature in front of me was not only looking down on me by at least one head, the imposing canine was also twice as wide as myself. He resembled a Doberman with black and brown fur. His upper body was encased in a massive chest plate and chainmail and curious enough, his lower jaw was protected by a facsimile made of polished metal. The dog’s massive arms stuck in something I would call fingerless smiths gloves up to the elbows, studded with scales the size of damn egg! Also, they differed in color and looked pretty familiar for some reason. Around his hips, the Badass Dog wore a wide belt with all kind of blacksmiths tools, hammers, tongs, all that jazz. Relatively small (compared to his whole body) but frighteningly intelligent yellow eyes bore down on me. He huffed a hot breath through his nose into my face and seemed to grow even larger. “You are standing in front of Steel Fang the Blacksmith, Alpha of Clan Pyrite, the raider of hordes and dragon slayer!” he boomed “And who are you, to dare setting as much as a single paw in my den?”

Holy cow, I could honestly not tell what intimidated me more at that moment; the fact that this Diamond Dog could articulate himself better than most people I know (myself included sometimes) the impressive titles (boy was I happy to have left Onyx on the surface, she would have probably flipped a whole fuckin´ mountain) or the fact that I had a healthy respect for Dobermans ever since the neighbor’s dog nearly turned me into kibbles when I tried to get a remote controlled plane back from their garden.

I stared at the Alpha, my throat unable to decide to imitate the Mojave in its sheer dryness or to get all choked up. Or both at the same time.

Milady, shake it off!<< Gnarl yelled through the mind-link, adding what felt like a mental kick >>You are the Envoy of Darkness itself. You do not cower in front of a dog; it cowers in front of you! That dog may be a bit bigger than your Ladyship but have your Minions. Use them! Bury this mutt underneath a Minion avalanche!<<

Uh, I don´t know Gnarl… do we really need the Reds? I mean, lookit ´em. They don´t seem to be unhappy here, do they?<<

As if on cue, a Red Minion started to clatter a tin cup against its cage bars while another started to rattle at them with all its scrawny might.

I could practically feel Gnarls ‘Seriously?’ face.

Okay, fine, but I am sooo coming back to haunt your wrinkly ass for all eternity Gnarl!<<

“Well, ehrm… Name´s Umbra… the Overlady. I´m here for my Red Minions and, uhm… to conquer your den for my… dark domain… Mr. Steel Fang, sir.” I all but meeped.

Veeery good girl, spoken like a true conqueror.

The Alpha stared at me unmoving for several moments, until he suddenly burst into roaring laughter. The sheer force of his mirth shook the racks and caused my cheeks to explode with burning heat. I always hated being laughed at. Ever did, ever will do.

Steel Fang took his sweet time laughing his ass of on my costs, while I wished for him to drop dead in the most excruciating manner possible!

“Stop laughing!” I shrilled, my voice cracking from the sudden rise of volume.

And lo and behold, Steel Fang stopped laughing. For exact one point four seconds before exploding into even more raucous fits of laughter.

Finally, he calmed down more or less. Still slightly wheezing, the Alpha regarded me with what I could only describe as pure amusement. “Oh, mountains bones, I have not laughed this heartily since my old Beta tried to challenge me for the position of Alpha last week and I nailed him under the ceiling with his own claws to bleed out there slowly.” He made a sweeping gesture with one paw “You may go, since you amused me so greatly. I allow you to live. For today. You can even take those three there,” the point at the brainwashed Dogs ”with you, seeing as you somehow managed to make yourself their leader. Now shoo, I must go back to my work. My scouts told me of a strange building, a dark tower that rose from the mountain itself a few nights ago. I must to prepare myself for I plan to take it for myself, to make it my citadel. Surely it´s master will be an opponent worthy of my time.” With that, he turned around and trotted to his anvil.

I seethed, rage bubbling up in my stomach. Who did that fucking son of a mangy bitch thought he was? First, he laughed his damn ass off over me, threatens me like a small kiddy throwing a temper tantrum over some cookies, being all condescendingly benevolent and stuff and on top, he wanted my tower? The tower I braved a fucking, dragon invested wasteland for? The tower I fought tooth and nail against a crazy unicorn for? I nearly lost my soul to the ley-stream to? No fucking dice!!!

Without even thinking, my left hand shot forward and magical lightning illuminated the underground forge as it found its target in Steel Fangs back.

“Don´t you even dare to turn your back on me like that fucker!” I screamed as I pumped every ounce of rage and mana into my spell “I´m going to take back my Minions, I´m going to take this shithole you call a den, all your treasure and I´m gonna keep. My. Bloody. TOWER!”

Eventually my magical juice ran out and so did my spell. Breathing heavily I leaned on my mace for support as I felt the symptoms of magic withdrawal creep into my skull. It felt like a massive hangover with additionally little spots of light dancing all over my field of vision. “Well, so much for that… that was easier that I thought.” I looked over to the still smoking form of Steel Fang “To stubborn to just disintegrate hn? And ya died standing on top of that. Well, respect where it is due.” I prepared to move my tired body back to Onyx as I heard something that made my blood freeze.

A growl.

Steel Fang turned around agonizingly slow. His ears were pinned against his skull as he showed me his pearly whites. “Well, that hurt.” He declared “As much as a newborn pup, gnawing at its mothers teats!” The Alpha reached into a nearby rack and took out a massive hammer. Axe. Hammer-axe… one of those things you normally use to split especially stubborn pieces of firewood. “Very obliging of you to tell me that, now I don´t need to waste material for creating new weapons and armor to conquer the mysterious tower. I´ll just kill you with my old forging hammer and wear your hide as a cape when I take the tower for me.”

With a roar and faster than anything his size and mass should be allowed to move, Steel Fang closed the distance between us, his weapon raised in a single paw.

I managed to stumble back with a panicked shout, trying to get some distance between the pissed off dog and my so not blunt trauma immune body.

The hammer fell and hot blood splashed all over my face. Weird enough no searing pain flooded me like I would have excepted. Instead, a gurgling yowl turned my attention downwards. At my feet lay the mangled remains of Noodles, Fifi and Lassie. They must have thrown themselves between me and certain doom.

“Fuck…”

Steel Fang regarded his victims with a disdainful glare and raised his weapon again.

The hammer-axe thundered down and I only evaded it by a hairs wide with another quick jump backwards.

Milady, use your Minions for Darkness sake!<< Gnarl shouted in my ears.

“Yeah… right…,” I stammered “Minions, charge!” I hastily held out my palm. Immediately, the brown mass surged forward, the fearless kobolds swarming around and over Steel Fang like angry ants, beating and stabbing away with all their minion-y might.

“Grah…! What is this? Get of you little… pests!” the enraged Alpha barked, swinging his weapon and paw in an attempt to free himself from my diminutive soldiers.

Watching my frightening foe pluck my Minions one by one from his bulky frame, I franticly tried to come up with a plan. Ha! The Reds! If I could free them, they could torch Steel Fangs furry ass! Ducking under three flung away Minions, I sprinted over to the cages. The little flamethrowers greeted me with excited chants of ‘Master! Master!’ and rattling at their bars.

Another Minion got flung into and subsequently impaled onto one of the numerous weapon racks in the forge.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck… where´s the release mechanism? There is always a release mechanism or something.” There was nothing. No obvious, big lever on the wall or the floor, nothing dangling from the ceiling.

Another Minion found its end between Steel Fangs namesake.

“FUCK!” I yelled, desperately banging my fist on the cage next to me and its door swung open. “Wut?” Disbelieving I stared at the happily smiling Red that came out of its cage, stretching its limbs. “Are you fucking kidding me? These cages just have a children safety mechanism?”

The Minion just shrugged at me.

A quick glance told me that I was down to ten Browns. As fast as I could I released the last five Reds. As soon as the last Red Minion was free, I pointed at Steel Fang “Torch him!”

The Reds happily obliged and soon, apple sized fire globs sailed through the air, impacting with uncanny precision on free spots between my remaining Browns, scorching fur and flesh. “Yes, yes! He´s going down!” I cheered.

Then, as if on cue, things went downhill. From one moment to the next, Steel Fang stopped struggling and instead hunkered down. Just to abruptly shot upright and let out a powerful howl. The howl formed a literal, rapidly expanding dome of sound that blew every remaining Minion and me from our feet.

Struggling to my feet with a spinning head, I stumbled backwards as the growling Alpha stalked towards me.

“Enough of this!” Steel Fang growled, crushing a dazed Minion under his paw and swinging his weapon at me.

Evading the blow in best drunken master manner by falling flat on my ass I began to crawl backwards.
A blue light shone in the corner of my eye. The cube thingy! It must have fallen out of my pouch somehow. Instantly I reached out for it. If I ever were in need of help, now was the time. Crawling on my knees and one hand, the cube clutched in the other I more or less pleaded “Okay… is this thing on? Could need a lil´ help here. Pretty please? Hello…? Please?...”

The cube pulsed once and then. Nothing.

The ground next to me literally blow up due to a heavy hit from Steel Fang, pushing me on my back.

The Alpha Dog sneered down at me. “This ends now!” he declared.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

Suddenly, without any ceremony, a figure plopped out of thin air and landed directly between me and Steel Fang.

“Guh… what the…” I heard a guy’s voice mutter. It was the same from the message. But before I could react, my supposed savior caught a massive backhand that send him into the next wall with a sickening crunch.

“Oh god, no…” I whimpered.

“It´s over!” Steel Fang stated with finality.

I looked up, just to see his weapon descend, the axe part first. Something ripped through my helmet downwards.

Then, blinding light.

[...]

Pain. Pain and light and light that was pain and painful light. Up was down was left was right was forward was backward was everywhere and nowhere.

After what felt like an eternity of pain, confusion and tears the blinding light left my vison, revealing dark stone.

Sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, I clutched my arms in a vain attempt to calm myself down from hysteria that should have remained unknown to every living soul.

Also, trying my hardest not to vomit my soul out.

“Milady?”

I did not respond, keeping the fetal position I had found myself in.

“Milady? What… are you alright?” That sounded genuinely concerned as far as I could tell.

“Garl?” I recognized that I somehow was lying on the floor of my throne room, my cheek pressed against the polished stone. Must have lost my helmet somehow.

“Yes Milady, it is me.” Two clawed feet entered my field of vision.

“Gnarl… I feel like a prehistoric piece of shit that had been blasted by a megaton bomb and then flung in the heart of the sun itself.”

The feet shifted uncomfortably. “Milady… do you know what… happened to you?” Gnarl asked me hesitantly.

“NoOooOoOoOOooo….” I moaned pitifully ”… also, I wannta hug…”

“Well…,” I heard the sound of scaly claws being wrung “I was never good at sugarcoating something your Ladyship so I´ll be blunt. You died. But this is nothing to be ashamed of I assure you. It happens a few times to every Overlord. All part of the learning process. Though the first time is always the worst, or so I was told.”

Suddenly I was sober. More than sober. I was two hundred percent sober. Totally and absolute soberness.

I clutched my head as the memories came back. The Forge, Steel Fang, his hammer-axe descending on me… slicing through my helmet and through my forehead down to my chin… killing me…

I screamed.

I screamed a wordless scream of agony, wrath and despair until my throat felt sore and on the verge of bleeding.

“How…?” I whispered hoarsely.

“The Tower Heart Milady. It is more than just a focal point of your Ladyships magic. It is connected to you in a deep, nearly unremovable way and anchors you to this plane of existence.” Gnarl explained in a calm way.

“So it brought me back?”

“Yes Milady, even though I must admit it was a pretty close call and it rendered our Tower Heart unable to do it again in a foreseeable future I´m afraid. Under normal circumstances, a Tower Heart needs to absorb ambient magic for several centuries before it could even hope to attempt a resurrection. That ours was able to do so after only being born a few days ago… it is unheard of. Not that I want to sound ungrateful your Ladyship.”

Standing up, I noticed my helmet and my mace on the ground. Picking up my helmet I saw that it was miraculously unharmed. I put it back on. “Gnarl, fire up the portal.” I ordered, taking my mace.

“Uh, Milady… is that wise? Maybe we should come up with a strategy first urgh…”

Grabbing Gnarl by his scruff, I brought him close to my face. “I said portal! That was an order you fuckwit!” Ungently I let go of my adviser “That fucking mutt killed me hn? Well, I say I gonna go n´ repay him with the same coin. I gonna break his legs and arms on his own anvil and drown him in his fucking smelter!” I pressed through my teeth as rage began to boil up in my stomach again. “What’s taking so long with the portal?”

With a thin but wide smile on his face, Gnarl bowed down low. “It is ready Milady.”

“Good.” My grip around my weapons handle tightened as I stepped into the portal once again.

I had a dog to slaughter.

°°°

[POV third Person, Steel Fangs Forge]

With a slightly annoyed look, Steel Fang stared at the point where the weird female just… vanished. He had really looked forward to skin her but now, he had to content himself with simply taking her tower. It would be a much better fortress than this measly den.

Still, that still left the other intruder that suddenly appeared to deal with. Given it had been an even weaker opponent than this Umbra but this were two trespassers in his forge in just one day. Something he could not let slide as the Alpha or else he would drown in wannabe usurpers faster than he could count to ten.

He noticed stirring. “Hmm, most intriguing.” The Diamond Dog leader muttered as he watched these new, brown creatures come to their feet, wobbling around or just staring blankly at nothing. Unlike the red creatures that came from this weird nest his dogs had found a few months earlier, the new ones seemed to be stronger, more resilient. Maybe he would find another nest in that soon-to-be-his tower.

Steel Fang allowed himself a smile. This was it. This was the starting point from which he would only grow stronger and stronger. He would take the tower as sign of his dominance and soon the other clans would join, pledge alliance to him, making Clan Pyrite even stronger. And then he would send his dogs out to conquer. They would enslave these damn ponies who did nothing but sitting idle on one of Equestrias richest gemstone deposits, make them put their abilities to good use in the mines instead of just singing and smiling like the ambitionless cowards they are. And then, when he was finally strong enough, he would climb Mt. Canterlot, devastate the city and slay or enslave those accursed princesses that had the gall to deny the Diamond Dogs what was rightfully theirs since uncounted generations. To be the top of the food chain in Equestria! His smile widened. Yes, this would be a good day.

So enthralled he was in his musings over future victories that he failed to notice the fast and heavy steps behind him, being taken by surprise as a heavy weight rammed into his back, nearly throwing him to the ground.

With a vicious snarl, the Alpha spun around and his eyes went wide. “You?”

There, right in front of him stood a figure, clad in black armor, with a raged red cape and an admittedly impressive mace in one paw. Her formerly whispy yellow eyes were now ablaze like torches, with small embers flying away from them.

“Missed me?” A toothy smile appeared underneath the helmet.

°°°

[POV Umbra]

“Missed me?” I asked, suppressing the urge to add a joker-esque cackle, instead opting for a Cheshire smile. A McFarlane one. Any other time I would probably been worried that Steel Fang absorbed my tackle like a fat kid would absorb Christmas cookies but right now, all I wanted was to tear him limb from limp.

The Dog snarled, taking a battle stance “No matter how you escaped last time, this time, I will have your hide!” With that, he lunged forward.

“Sorry sweetheart, no running this time.” I purred with eerie calmness born from a weird mix of hate and bloodlust that pulsed through my whole being.

It felt amazing!

Dodge.

Steel Fangs weapon cut through the air where seconds earlier my face had been.

Sidestep.

The heavy blow turned a rack filled with spears into sawdust. I could see the growing frustration in the massive canines face.

“Why.”

Another blow, this time aimed at my midsection graced my armor instead of turning me inside out as I managed to turn my body sideways just in the nick of time. Still felt it though.

“Won´t.”

Back.

“You.”

To the left.

“Die?!?” Steel Fang roared, swinging his hammer-axe downward. Foam started to fly from his muzzle.

Counter, now!

I swung my mace up with all I had, causing our weapons to clash midair. Both bludgeoning instruments bounced back from the impact. I nearly let go of the beast. Nearly. Turned out some books from video games really held a grain of truth after all.

“Had that once hun. It was horrible.” I quipped. My wrist hurt like hell infinite from the impact but Steel Fang seemed to far not better if not worse. He had changed his grip from right to left paw.

I stepped forward and for the first time the dog took a defensive stance. My smile widened as several small shadows appeared between the mess that once was a forge. A single mental command and the remaining Minions, Brown and Red alike, threw themselves at Steel Fang. I did not know how they did not ended in cages by now but sure as hell I would use this to my advance.

A Brown bit down on Steel Fangs ear, causing the dog leader to unknowingly open himself as he ripped the offending Minion of and crushed him against the floor.

“My turn.” Closing in, I held my palm in front of Steel Fangs nose and unleashed a Corruption Burst. The dog yelped in pain as the magical lightning blinded him and let go of his weapon.

I wasted no time and slammed my mace into his chest plate like a battering ram. Then I struck again. And again. Each strike caused the huge dog to stumble backwards more until he stood in front of the huge smelter.

“Now, let´s see if we can´t teach an old dog new tricks.” I declared and my Minions jumped off Steel Fangs body.

“Sit.” A blow with the Beast to his knee made it bent in an awkward angle and forced the battered Alpha on all fours.

“Down.” A strike with the pommel of my mace caused Steel Fang to lose his jaw protection and rear back in surprise, falling backwards. Right under the smelters outlet opening.

Walking around to the control lever of the smelter, I griped it and gave the dazed Diamond Dog a wicked smile. “Play dead!”

I yanked the lever down and molten metal poured out of the smelter like lava from a volcano. With immense satisfaction, I watched the nearly white substance made contact with Steel Fang. He screamed for approximately two seconds before the molten metal got into his maw. From there it did took not long for the frantic trashing to stop and the acrid smell of burned hair and the sickening yet appetizing smell of charred meat began to fill the air in the smithy.

A mass of red and yellow lights burst forth from the Alphas remains, whirling through the air like a swarm of fireflies before they all homed in at me and in a matter of seconds, vanished in my gauntlet. Neato, lotsa souls for mói.

Gnarl… you still there?<< I wheezed as the adrenaline wrecked my body.

After an unnerving silence, the aged Minions voice sounded in my ears >>Yes Milady, I am still here. I must say, this was a most impressive fight, I never thought you had that in you so early.<<

Fuck you too Gnarl…<<

No, no, what I meant is… wait. What´s that?<<

What´s wha… Oh!<< I was about to ask as I saw what Gnarl meant. Right over the remains of Steel Fang floated a cloud of black and dark red energy.

Is that? Oh yes, yes it is!<< Gnarl sounded like a cat that got both, the cream AND the canary.

What´s that? Explanations Gnarl.<< Slowly but surely I was getting impatient.

Gnarls happy chuckle echoed in my ears as he explained >>This Milady is the pure essence of unadulterated evil. It tends to amass itself in those with an truly bad character. It surprises me to no end to see that this dog held such a quantity of it. Quick Milady, reach for it and see if you can absorb it!<<

And I should do that because… ?<<

Because it is this energy that powers the Tower Heart, strengthens your Ladyship and in general would be a waste to let it simply dissipate.<< Gnarl said >>And who knows, maybe it could grant your Ladyship a new ability, more mana or something the likes of. Now quick.<<

“Hmm, valid reasoning.” I mumbled and reached my left hand out. As soon as I did, the essence cloud began to whirl in itself and formed a tendril like protrusion that flowed towards my hand and in a few moments, it completely vanished in my palm.

To be honest, I was underwhelmed. I expected a rush of power, a deep, dark warmth in my stomach or at least a static shock but zipp. >>Äh, Gnarl? Did it work? I feel nothing.<<

Hmm, give it time to settle Milady. Evil things should not be rushed.<<

“Well, `kay…” A groan could be heard from somewhere to my left. Oh shit, the guy that got owned by Steel Fang was still alive and I totally forgot about him! >>Gnarl, see that you send some Minions over to secure the area and get everything else of value to the tower. I need to take care of something.<<

Of course Milady, it will be done.<<

With that taken care of, I approached the groaning heap. For a moment, my gaze lingered at a spot on the wall that was slightly darker than the surrounding wall, bringing the wet crunch of the poor saps impact with the wall back to the forefront of my mind.

“Hey buddy, are you still alive? Need a hand?” I asked. The heap in front of me shifted and a head with a unruly mob of hair became visible. I tried my best smile but somehow the Universe seemed to be hell-bent on sucker punching me because as soon as I finished my question, the guy pointed at something behind me, screaming "Oh my god a distraction!" in a pretty girlish pitch. Still somewhat in combat mode, my head twitched around as my body tensed up, preparing to make good of the remaining Adrenaline still left in my system but there was nothing. Behind me, I heard the scuffling of feet, clawed and shoe wearing ones, a dull impact and satisfied Minions proclaiming a capture.

I was giving my best, resisting the urge to facepalm hard. Mainly because I fell for the old "oh hey, a distraction" trick. Okay, given I may not look like the person you would trust your children with right now but damn. This was downright insulting Animimi... Animorphous... Animorphisto... WADE! that was his name the recording said so imma just call him that.

With a bemused smile under my helmet I walked over to the gibbering pile of Minions with a pair of lanky legs and a mop of hair looking out under it. Crouching down, I removed my helmet and secured it at my belt (don´t ask me how, I never built a hook or something there). "Did you seriously just try to 'look over there', me? Are you really that freaking stupid?" I asked him with a slight scowl.

Pushing a Minion that was sitting on Wades neck away, I tried a diplomatic smile. "Okay buddy, how about that? My Minions gonna release ya and then, the two of us will have a nice, civil chat like the reasonable adults at least one of us is? Hn? Sounds good?"

"I like civil chats. Can I get you to Pinkie Promise to it?" he responded like a miffed child. Which was kinda funny, given the circumstances but if it would make him feel better.

With a most sincere smile, I said "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eyaAARGH!" and made the necessary motions, only to poke my eye with my finger. "Gottverdammte Scheiße! Every damn time!" I swore and rubbed my eye.

"Okay, there. Now... just let me..." With a sheepish smile I shooed my Minions of him, some of them making disappointed noises. "Aw, don´t be like that. Make yourself useful, gather the Reds, bring their nest to the portal. Oh, and don´t forget the smelters and the treasures." I told my loyal little kobolds who scampered of afterwards, happily gibbering.

After that, I offered the still downed guy a hand to help him back on his feet.

"All right...you have my attention. I can't really scarper off to my own Equestria whenever I want, so feel free to talk as candidly as you want." My new acquaintance said “So...What’s up? You needed my help on something?"

After pulling Mr. Grumpy Mac Dupterson to his feet (dang, he was nearly as tall as me, haven’t noticed that until now), I dusted him of a bit.

"Well, goody... or rather... not goody. That really depends on the point of view here..." I tried to initiate a polite Smalltalk before clapping my hands together. "O~kay, how about we start over again, now that no crazy Pug on steroids is trying to rip us a new one? My name is Umbra and... oh." I felt an irritating heat flush my cheeks as I realized that he just got trashed because of me, which may or may not have caused his acute case of Crankeritis. "Oh shit man... I just... you got seriously trashed back then! Are you all right? How are you all right? When that Alpha Dog smashed you against the wall, I swear I heard some bones break!"

"I'm fine. You must have heard wrong." Wade stated, running a hand through his short black hair. Hmm, weird, coulda sworn I had seen a flash of brown when he popped into existence.

Letting out an audible sigh I continued "Boy, that’s a relief. Well, like I said, names Umbra but for the most I am simply the Overlady. As for what’s up, the ceiling I guess?" I gave a weak laugh. "Hmm, well, and help? Nice to offer, I could use some competent help to haul all the loot from the Alphas vault to the portal to my awesome fortress. Sucker went and snatched my Red Minions for his forge but not with me, no siree. Now he´s coal and his all his base belongs to me."

I stopped to give my counterpart a short, intrigued once over. "Say, what´s with that mini cosmic cube thingy? I mean, I found it in a pile of bits, suddenly a voice proclaimed 'call me if you need help', I guess I panicked a little as that asshat tried to kill me. Next thing I remember is you plopping from thin air."

"First a question of my own. Do you know ANYTHING about the world we're currently in, possibly relating to a TV show? And Were you perhaps at a Con of some sort before you found yourself...here?" he asked.

At that, I raised an eyebrow. Most intriguing.

"Hmm, well, as far as I know, this is the planet Equuis, the land of Equestria, a place called the Macintosh Hills. That’s a mountain range that borders to the Wasteland. It’s all part of the 'My little Pony' verse, created by Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Do not ask me where we are, season wise, I have yet to make contact with the ponies. Well, except for that fucker Crystal Flask." the last part, I added with an unintentional, low growl.

"As for the Con thing, yupp, went to a Con with a friend. Bought a replacement gem for my Gauntlet of Dominance there. Then, poof, I´m here, trying not be torched by freaking Crackle the Dragon for tryin´ to eat her miserable little hellspawn of a kid!"

"I'm just going to assume 'crackle the dragon' is a reference to something. Okay, so you're a normal Displaced, thats good to hear. To give you more information on the first question, some sort of interdimensional asshole picked up a bunch of humans, and slung them across the multiverse all to their own personal little Equestria. He calls himself the Merchant, and NO, I don't know anything more about him. All my information is secondhand. If you want more information, keep a lookout for-" Wade fished in his pants pockets before realizing whatever he searched for wasn't there. "A golden coin. I thought I had it in my pocket, but I don't, so I can't show you what it looks like. It’s almost the same as a bit, but the head and tail is different. It has a seesaw and the letters A and U on one side, and an eclipse thingy on the other side."

"Ah ha. Displaced. Kinda fitting." I gave a nod. "And the bastard responsible is called the Merchant hn? Good, now I have a name I can put on that wankers gravestone!" I growled, letting my Corruption spell build up shortly around my left hand before letting it flicker out.

That almost sounded all like some sick joke, a twisted amalgam of MlP and, dunno, the Cube? I felt my rage bubbling up again.

Anyways, Zen. Grande Zen! Building my dark dominion now, having gruesome revenge later.

Breathing in a view times to calm myself I asked "Sooo, this coin, if I find it, will it summon another guy like you? Do I get that right? And didn´t you had brown hair before? I´m pretty sure, now that I could get a better look at you."

"Brown? Yes. I went into my battle state,” Wade stated "Although you can probably tell, I'm not THAT much stronger."

NOW my eyes really lit up. Damn me for being such an sucker for animes!

"Battle state? Like, Son Gokus super sajan or Narutos sage mode? That is so cool!" I squeed a little and put an arm around my new companions shoulder, smiling wide. "And you can´t be that weak, I mean, you took that beating like a real Champ." I said in all honesty. "Hey how about..."

Test, test. Milady, can you hear me?<< Gnarls voice suddenly filled my ears.

"Uh? You´re not the voice I hear normally." I stated bluntly. I swear I heard Gnarl facepalm through the link.

Oh, I´m sure of that Milady. Be it as it is, the Minions just finished relocating the Reds Hive, the treasures and the smelters to the dark Tower. We are eagerly awaiting your return.<<

"Hey, good work Gnarl." I proclaimed joyfully before turning to my new buddy. "Hey, my custodian just told me that my Minions are done here, so how about we go back to my place hn? This burrow stinks to much like wet dogs for my taste and we could have a nice snack there, rest our feet a bit... plus, I kinda feel like I should make it up to you somehow that I dragged you into my mess. Wadda ya say Wadey?

He seemed to complement my offer for a moment but then he said "Sounds...good to me?"

"Goody!" I cheered, making a few steps forward, only to turn around and add in a slightly sultry tone "You won´t regret that handsome, I promise." with a wink for the extra effect.

"Hey Gnarl?" I addressed my loyal walnut via Minion intercom (I noticed I could talk out loud simultaneously when using my Overlady mind link. Made me looks less coo-coo so I just did that.)

Yes Milady?<<

"Have Wiener prepare some of the nice foodstuff, I´m bringing a guest over."

A guest? Oh, did Milady happen to acquire a mistress already?<< Gnarls voice sounded hopeful.

"Nope. Just a cool guy I nearly killed by accident." I pleasurably shattered the old lechers hopes.

After that, I took the lead and after a while, we thankfully exited the Diamond Dog den. Onyx was waiting near the portal, a visible scowl on her face.

"Umbra! Took you long enough! I was about to go without you. Your Imps are already back home." the dragoness fumed slightly before her gaze fell upon Wade who was walking at my side. "Who´s that?"

"I-I-I-I’m....Wade." Wade managed to stammer out, visibly paling. Huh? Onyx was not that scary, was she?

Onyx gave a huff and a raised brow at that.

"Onyx, meet Wade. Wade, meet Onyx." I introduced my dragon friend to my new friend amiably. "He´s cool. Play nice." I added, noticing that Onyx gave him the Evil Eye.

With a 'Hmpf, whatever.' the dragoness turned around and stepped onto the portal, disappearing in a small column of light.

Patting Wades shoulder I reasured him "Hey, I think she likes you. Now come on, I wanna show you my extremely epic tower of dark awesomeness. Just step onto the round stone. It´s like beaming." After that, I grapped his hand and more or less pulled him into the light with me.

Seconds later we appeared in my, still sparsely decorated throne room. I on my feet, Wade on his face.

Fighting hard to not laugh at the fact that Wade faceplanted into the floor, I picked him up and checked him for nosebleed or similar stuff. "He, sorry about the landing. Happens to me now and then to." I lied to make him feel better. White lies are no real lies, shut up! "Anyways, welcome to my Tower and my throne room Wadey. It’s a bit under furnished at the moment but I am working on that."

A shuffling noise made me aware of Gnarls presence.

"Ah Milady, there you are. And your guest too. Wiener has prepared a meal as per your orders, it is already served at the dining room. Oh and Onyx said something about being in the treasure chamber if you need her. I just hope the scaly lug won’t eat all of your Ladyships hard earned riches."

"Thanks Gnarl." I turned to Wade "C´mon, I show you the way."

After leading my guest through a few under furnished corridors, passing a few hard working Minions wearing their white overalls and yellow construction helmets we reached the dining room, now furnished with a moderately big table and chairs. On the table sat several plates with steaming dishes consisting of the really good stuff that mysteriously appeared together with my Tower. Potatoes, chicken legs, fresh bread and even a bottle unlabeled wine and a pitcher with water. Nothing grand but hot damn, I could not care less. Near the table was diligently waiting, Wiener my chef minion, his oversized chef hat in his hands.

Taking my seat, I send him back to the kitchen and gestured to Wade to take a seat too. "Well, dig in buddy. It´s not a grand feast but fuck, its delish. Wiener sure knows how to cook." I smiled while helping myself with the first course.

"MEAT." My guest uttered, doing a pretty good Monkey D. Luffy imitation, complete with a bit of drool.

I suppressed a chuckle as Wade ogled the menu.

Suddenly, something happened that I did not excepted. Wades whole body began to… in a lack of better words reorganize itself. His hair turned brown (HA, was right about that!), his eye color changed and his skin rippled like jelly. Even his clothes changed. "Ahem." He politely coughed, loading his own plate.

Okay. I admit, I stared. Slack jawed. And I think I nearly lost the few bites of chicken I already had intus due to Wades transformation. It was just... it reminded me somehow of Jeepers Creepers. Hhhuwää, shudder!

Ähem Milady? What just happened? I could swear I just felt a distinctive shift of power inside the Tower.<< Gnarls voice echoed in my ears. The old Minion sounded geniuly worried.

Everything is under control, just a reactor leak Gnarl.<< I thought back, my eyes still on Wade. The very moment he changed back to his "normal mode", I definitively felt something shift. It was as if his... aura, let’s call it that was altered itself. Before it he radiated a feeling of strength despite the fact that he received a heavy beating, with something underlying. A whole different kind of energy. It felt... pure in lack of better terms, so that is clashed radically with his other half of energy, yet it was somehow synched like a Ying-Yang symbol. Also, I noticed some weird blue mist leaving Wades body during the transformation. Mana, if Gnarls lessons taught me anything. >>So he needs magical energy in order to transform in both directions, interesting.<< I thought and catalogued that info under "possible useful" for later.

"Wow dude, no offense but that was kinda gross."

"Shifting kinda is. My dragon and disguise forms are even more of a spectacle. Flesh forming into scale and chiton, I actually made a little filly lose her lunch when she saw it." He laughed "Seeing as I haven't had actual meat in a while, would you mind if I started in on this?" Wade held up the chicken leg he had chosen from the plate.

"Wohoho, wicked." So he had several modes hn? This was getting more and more interesting.

"By all means, dig in. That´s what I brought you here for after all. We still have wagon loads in the kitchen." I poured myself some of the wine and took a swig. That stuff was nowhere near Absinth or Honey Mead but it was this or water.

"No real meat in a while eh? Lemme guess, you crashed down in your Equestria, some ponies found you and as soon as they noticed your canines the went all 'Ahhh, predator, meat-eater, monster! Please don´t eat my foal, here, eat my neighbor instead!' on you, am I right?" I asked between two hearty bites, speaking the pony part in my best Flower Trio impression.

"While that’s the case in most Equestrias I find.” He took a bite “In my Equestria, all the horses are omnivorous. Something about the higher content of protein found in meat. It’s hard to get a hold of though, and expensive to boot. So some bright guy got it in his head that they should magically breed the flowers to give the same proteins, to help get rid of wide spread malnourishment. They do the job, but they taste like flowers."

"You can still get imitation meat, in fact that’s what’s sold in most purely carnivore delis. It's magically shifted to LOOK like a cut of meat, has the right texture and smell, but it just doesn't taste the same." Wade explained after a sip of water.

"Good for you. I swear, if the Ponies here even try to make a scene for what I am, I gonna flip some serious tables on them. I mean, seriously, it is cannon that they eat eggs and butter, drink milk, eat baked goods, all the stuff a true vegetarian/herbivore would never dream about eating." Disposing my blank chicken bone in best wiking manner (throwing it over to a coincidently bypassing Minion who quickly scappered off with it) I grapped another. "That fake-meat sounds a lot like tofu to me though. Clever little horsies."

We spend the next better part of half an hour with stuffing our faces and making Smalltalk.

"That hit the spot, alright." With a content sigh, I leaned back in my chair. "Hope ya liked the good, old-fashioned, human eatin´ Wade?"

"I much appreciate it. Honestly, I'd rather have tofu instead the synthetic crap. But you don't want me just hanging around, eating your food, do you?"

Ah, to the point. In a display that would have made the teacher of my old schools drama club proud, I adapted a mock expression of dismay. I even put a hand over my heart for effect. "Why Wadey, you wound me so. Can´t a lovely lady like me not simply enjoy the presence of a handsome rouge like you, without having ulterior motivations?"

Damn, I even nailed the hurt damsel tone to a tee.

Ah well, to hell with that. Abandoning my charade, I leaned forward, speaking in my best 'let´s talk business' tone. "Okay then, let’s talk serious. It´s obvious that you don´t really trust me, not that I would hold that against you. A bit of distrust is quite a healthy thing. But I am not your enemy Wade and I do not intend to become one. I would rather prefer to be an Ally, we are both Displaced after all, aren´t we?" I focused my attention completely on my counterpart, watching his every reaction. "I am still quite intrigued about your cosmic cube thing that called you here. Is it possible for me to make such a thing for myself? Such a, let’s call it token, shall we? Of course I don´t expect you to part with any Information without receiving some form of compensation. I am more than willing to reimburse you in every possible fashion for your help."

Wade took a moment before he responded "I didn't make my token, Auric did. I keep meeting Displaced that seem to be able to make their token on their own though, so my best bet would be, pick up something you want to be your token, and try to make it into one. If you give it to me, I'll hand it off to Auric the next time I see him, and he'll 'spread it across the void'. Or whatever it was that he said he did."

Silently humming to myself, I let his words sink in. So this Auric guy was obviously a really BIG number in this game but more important, I should be able to make these tokens myself.

Just, what should I choose? Auric had a coin and Wade his cube... Ah ha!

I took one of the small, ornamental pieces of metal I had fashioned into my capes hem and gently ripped it off. After a quick search I found a passably long string of leather in my pouch and laced it through the small hole in the blank talisman. I stood up, my token base in my left hand and for a moment I just listened into myself with closed eyes, searching for an idea to make my token. Suddenly, I felt Mana surge from my body into the small piece of iron, sparks dancing around my fist and with a surprising clarity, I opened my eyes and said

"To you, who hold this trinket. No matter if you wish to conquer or to protect. No matter if you wish to destroy or to create. I do not care if your Intents are black, white or any shade of gray, call my name and I will come. But be prepared for the judge of our actions will be Time alone.
I am Umbra, the Overlady.
The Mistress of Minions.
And this is my token."

Wow, what the hell? Where did that come from? That sounded pretty epic if I dare say so. Feeling the Manarush ebbing away, I opened my hand and examined my work. A small, drop shaped talisman with the outlines of my helmet etched into the surface rested in my palm. Carefully I handed my new made trinket to Wade.

After taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I stated "Well, that was something. Now my friend, let us discuss your payment."

"Well then, that was some extremely expensive information I just gave you," he gave a slight smile, "Considering overhead and the personal worth of that information to myself, I think...Well, I think that's going to require a payment of a certain token. And not any token. This token is one of the most expensive I can think of at the moment, It calls an individual of such power and beauty that the world shake when they simply reply.... Oh wait, you already gave it to me. Well I guess that's settled, wouldn't you say so?"

Un. Holy. HELL!

He made me blush. He made me. Fucking. Blush!

Never before I had been so happy to have a palette swap. The Overlady does not blush like a japanese School Girl that finally got noticed by Senpai!!!

"Why, you certainly know how to handle a lady, you charmer." I underlined the statement with my most refined chuckle. "But I insist, there must be something else that could be interesting for you."

"Well..." Wade trailed off, looking away "My current Dragon form is rather...lacking. If you know whom I'm talking about, then it's basically just a carbon copy of Spike. Baby version. It has good jaw strength, fire resistance...But it doesn't hold a candle to your friend." He turned back to me, cocking the most confident of smiles if I ever saw one. "If I could simply get a tiny bit of her aura, that would improve my dragon form all that much. If she was willing, of course."

"Hm, we can ask her but I can´t promise anything. She can be quite cranky, especially if she gets the impression that you want to steal her soul or the likes. She nearly incinerated me once because I made a joke." I said thoughtfully, slowly making my way to the door. "So, wanna risk it handsome?" I offered a smile of my own.

"Wouldn't hurt to ask her, would it? It isn't really like stealing a part of a soul. Everything one does leaves energy behind. Almost like imprinting a memory on a rock simply because you walked by it. I can absorb this excess energy by simply touching something. There is a chance of the energy overwriting the energy I previously had..." Okay, someone put this guy in a robe because that was almost a Qui Gon level explanation.

"Wow, that sounded pretty deep. I think that could work. Come one, Onyx should still be at the treasure chamber."

After that, I lead Wade up the flight of stairs towards the Towers top. As excepted, Onyx was indeed occupying the treasure chamber. The large dome like room with the slightly buzzing Tower Heart in the center was still mostly empty, a black Dragoness that was napping on a small pile of gold coins and gems not included.

"Hey Onyx, wakey wakey!" I coldheartedly put an end to her slumber.

"Hnngwhosdead?" Golden eyes met mine and a fist sized sapphire was chucked in my direction but landed harmlessly in front of me and Wade. "Not cool sis! I just had the most sick dream ever." Onyx half snarled, still visible drowsy.

"Yes yes, I´m a bitch, I get it. Just one quick question and you can go back to Sleepyland."

"If you let me sleep then, ask along."

So I did my best to explain Wades plan to Onyx as far as I had understood it. Halfway through, Onyx looked like she was about to toast us but nevertheless heard me out. After I finished, the Dragoness rose from her bedding and walked over to us, starring down at Wade with a slightly open maw and small specks of fire escaping between her teeth.

"Okay, so you twerp want to absorb some of my aural energy in order to make yourself stronger?" Onyx growled dangerously low "And that won´t damage my soul? At all? Because, if I ever find out it did, I gonna hunt you down and feed you your own bowels!"

"I shudder to think about how that might actually work. And you scare me enough to think you'd be able to follow through on such a promise. All I need to do is touch you and I suck off a bit of excess energy. Something that you've already used, which is outside of you, yet clings to you before dissipating you simply because it was once a part of you." Wade gave his best to explain himself to Onyx while pacifying her at the same time ""Would you feel better if Umbra stood poised with her mace to bash my brains in, should I attempt anything untoward?"

Onyx puffed out her chest in pride, seeing that she had brought her message through.

"Hmm, alright, do your thing. But remember, no funny business or you’re done before you can regret it." Onyx replied in an eerily casual tone and took Wades hand.

I swear, I heard some bones creak dangerously.

Nothing happened for a while, except Onyx crushing Wades hand while giving the poor fella a menacing smile.

Suddenly, Wade began to change again. This time, it looked like his whole body was about to melt like a candle near a blazing fireplace. He grew larger, cloth and skin turning black and condensing into scales as a pair of wings and a tail appeared on him. As the transformation finished, he gave a sharp laugh in Onyx own voice "Congratulations. Your energy was strong enough that it completely deleted my previous Dragon State. That isn't easy to do."

Wow, the second time, it was even more gross. But it worked. Now I had two Dragonesses standing in my treasure chamber and... oh fuck. Ma treasures!

Wade spoke. With Onyx voice. Damn, that was strange. If she was phased by it, my black dragoness hid it masterfully. Instead, she circled around her clone, giving her "sister" an once-over and faster than the eye could follow, slapped Wade on the ass with a resounding SLAP.

"Well, at least now you aren´t such a twig anymore." Onyx approved "Damn, I got some hot piece of ass, hn Umbra?"

That startled me out of any coherent thought. "Hrgljftsxtz?" I responded with the verbal eloquence of a mental handicapped slug, much to Onyx amusement.

"Well then, if we are done here, I gonna get back catching me some Z´s. See ya round twerp." And with that, Onyx plopped down on her treasure bed again and shortly after started snoring.

"Conks out awful fast, doesn’t she?" my human turned dragoness guest remarked.

"Hm, yes she does. Does not mean she´s a heavy sleeper though." I added my two cents of thought. "Soo, anything else you might could use?" I turned to my guest/new ally/new buddy. "Oh and how long do these calls keep one summoned? Is there a timer or something?"

"No specific timer that I can think of. One journey lasted three whole days, and another was less than a minute. Its random, and as far as I can figure, you won't get a warning when it happens. One second I'm there, the next I'm not. Bet I'd be an awesome hide and seeker. Well, more hide than seek, anyway." Wade trailed off. " Come to think of it, do you happen to have any...wads of magic or otherwise unstable magical items you'd like me to get off your hands? My Sword state might be able to absorb them and create more weapons..."

Magic I want to get rid of hn? Well, I had my Tower Heart but like hell I would part with that baby! And since I now had some smelters and tools of my own, I could have my Minions create weapons and armor for themselves. Maybe I could even create some nifty stuff for me. Some backup weapons maybe.

"Well, no, I don´t have any magical special refuse but thanks for the offer. Hey, say, wanna see something really cool while you’re still around?"

"Something cool? I swear if you drag me off to look at a cold themed item, I will glare at you disapprovingly, regardless of how cute you are." Wade grinned at me before his gaze shifted to the gemstone that Onyx tossed at us and he had picked up. I smirked as he licked his lips, probably without even noticing. Then he noticed me and tossed me the gem.

"Guess I got her appetite as well. Can't imagine what crushed minerals would do to the inside of my stomach once I turned back..." He ended on a short laugh.

"Well, should I have invited you to show you something wet then?" I replied with an ever so slight smile and a waggle of my brow, catching the sapphire. It was somehow really funny to watch how Wade had seemingly copied more than just my draconic friend’s appearance.

Chuckling, I pocketed the gem. "He, you should see her pop bits like they were peanuts. Would be probably really hard to stomach hn? Anyways, let’s go."

And down we went, down all the winding staircases right into the brood-pits underneath the Tower. Much to my satisfaction, I noticed that the big cavern now hosted the barrack like Hive of the Browns together with the Vulcan like Hive of the Reds in their respective corners. The spots for the green and blue Hives still vacant, I led Wade to my intended destination.

Norbert’s hut and the Soul River.

Sitting in front of his small hut, the old Blue was busy letting two Reds roast some rats on his scythe. Noticing me, the robe clad Minion croaked in his eerily resonating voice "Ahh, Milady. Do you see dead Minions?"

I swear, I would not be surprised if he would begin to talk in capitals.

"Well, that’s why I am here. And to introduce you to a new friend." I gestured to Wade-Dragon. "Norbert, this is Wade, he´s somewhat of a shapeshifter. Wade, this is Norbert. Norbert here is probably the oldest Blue you will ever find and he is also responsible for raising my Minions. But that is not the best part, hold onto your proverbial seat, he can raise the dead!" I turned to Norbert "Hey, we had a little skirmish and lost a few Minions earlier today. Could you please reanimate one?"

Slowly, the Minion Dead rose and waddled over to the wild stream of the Soul River. "As you wish." Norbert croaked as his eyes glowed briefly and with a flick of his wrist, a brown Minion with a dented Diamond Dog helmet on his head and a pickaxe in his hand rose from the river.

Another flick of Norbert’s wrist send the Brown onto the caverns floor and after the realization that he was alive again had finally settled in, the Minion gave his Resurrector a resounding smooch on the cheek before scampering away.

With a smug smile, I turned to Wade "Pretty rad hn?"

"Having trouble not thinking of the river Styx with this show... But yes. That was pretty damn badass.”

"I know right? The Blue Minions are by far my favorites. Although they are weak in combat, they can heal/resurrect fallen Minions, are the only ones able to swim, are practically immune to all but the most powerful forms of magic AND they can turn themselves invisible for a short amount of time." I gave a wistful sigh "I hope I find their Hive soon."

"Speaking of...aren't the blue guys aquatic? I could be wrong, while I may know of them. I'm not fully versed on their capabilities or otherwise. Besides 'drag over loot with mouse, watch them upgrade themselves' If you know what I'm saying." Wade finished with a wink.

"Hmm, given the fact that they do not drown in amusing ways and from everything Gnarl told me, yupp, they are. Or at least amphibious." I watched the glare contest between Wade and one of the Minions with half interest "And of course I do not have the slightest clue whatever you are talking about."

"Of course not, just ignore my rambling. You wouldn't mind if I tried to...create a water form from one of them, would you?"

Oh that sly son of a... !

"Why, of course not. I said I would reimburse you, didn´t I? Unfortunately the only Blue that is available at the moment is Norbert here, so I am afraid he had to do." I turned my attention to my robed Minion. "You would not mind to let Wade here acquire some of your aura?"

Propping himself on his scythe, Norbert’s gaze shifted from myself to my mighty morphin´ guest before a nearly unnoticeable smile flited over the old Minions lips and he nodded, beckoning Wade to do his thing.

Morphing back to his human form, Wade held his hand out for Norbert "Put er there, ol buddy ol friend ol paaaaaaaaaaaaal~"

I watched with a undeniable amusement as Norbert slowly, in best Dickens manner, rose his hand and silently pointed at Wade, never breaking eye contact with him. As the Minion Dead slowly approached Wade (without the usual pitter-patter of his webbed feet) I could not help myself. The very moment Wades hand came in contact with Norbert’s, I unleashed a Corruption Burst from my left palm right behind Wade. The brood cavern multiplied the sharp crack of my spell nicely into an authentic thunder clap and the flash of the magical lightning did the rest.

"NYAFLGAHF." Wade squawked in a hilarious way, doing some sort of three sixty pirouette.

Oh, that was... that was gold!

Pure, pure, gold!

My legs buckled and quitted their service to me as wave after wave of hysterical laughter wrecked my whole body. Tears flowed down my cheeks in small rivers, my sides stung like I had been tackled by two porcupines at the same time and my lungs screamed for oxygen because I was unable to take sufficiently deep breaths.

After laughing my ass off and rolling around on the floor for a while, I finally managed to get a grip again. "Oh wow, pfeeww... my everything hurts like hell but that was so worth it. Hey, no hard feeling hn?"

"Hard feelings, in my tailbone." Wade pried himself off the floor, rubbing his butt. "Honestly, I'm glad you only did that. There was much worse you could have done. Can I try to get a water form now? Or would you like to throw me off a cliff to see if my flight form is up to the task of flying back up?"

Dusting myself of and donning my most sincere sorry-face, I had to bite my tongue not to jump on that opportunity since Wadey-kins seemed a bit miffed. "Sorry, sorry *snrk*, got that out of my system now. Please proceed."

I watched Norbert starring at Wades hand like is was a particularly colorful and nice smelling flower. "Come on Norbi, don´t be like that. We had our share of fun, now be the bigger man and shake." I swear, sometimes these Minions behave like children.

With a small huff from his nose, the ancient Blue finally did as I asked him to. As soon as he did, his head lolled around and he began drooling like in some sort of trance.

"Right. She already saw me do this with the big dragon lady, You aren't fooling her, just so you know... Fine, since you want to continue with your theatrics... MWA ha ha. Ha, ha ha. I am...stealing your soul, yeah. Mwa ha ha. Seriously, you can stop that at any time." Wade stated, making an impromptu show out of this.

Giving a slow applause to Wades little show, I watched Norbert regain his senses and waddle of slightly agitated, mumbling something about that he had to check the newly hatched Minions or something into his beard... gills... whatever!

"Wow Wade. That sounded almost a tad evil there." I sauntered over to him, leaning in to breath in his ear "I like bad boys."

"Oh do you now? Sadly," Wade looked around the room in a dramatic fashion. "I don't seem to see any around here. Too bad, guess you'll simply have to put up with me..."

I could not help but grin at that.

"So...Do you wanna do something? You've show me around your home, and a cozy little place it is. Or do you just want to keep me around to compliment you on your radiant appearance?" Wade said with a smile, "I'd be more than willing to, just so you know. Besides that, have any board games? Anything to pass the time until you have something for me to do?"

"Well, such a shame. But you are a pretty good prize too." I all but purred while I could feel blood rush to my cheeks. "Careful what you offer, though. I might end up chaining you to a wall in my fungeon."

Holla the forest-fairy, were did all this come from all of a sudden? Sure, Wade was far from being a supermodel but he still was kind of handsome in a more down to earth way which I always liked better, plus most guys did never gave me as much as single once over and damn, I could not recall the last time I got some... Graaahhh what was I? Some cat in heat? Get a grip girl!

Fighting my treacherous bitch of a body with a good portion of self-restrained I returned his smile "That would be a pleasure. Minions are fine and dandy but they cannot compare to a being with real sapiens. And yes, crazy as it sounds, I really have a game of chess around. Care for a game?"

"Chess? As long as you don't call the pieces by the silly names the ponies have for them, I'm game." Wade gave a slight smile again. "I've been honing my skills against the little filly I mentioned earlier. She's a real killer. Cheeky little kid. Keeps on maneuvering me into pincers. Real poker face on her too...” He seemed to trail off a bit. “Well, we aren't going to get this game going just standing here, are we?" Wade asked, a Cheshire grin stamped on his face.

"Silly names? Lemme guess, they probably call the Rooks Guards and the Queen Princess? And don´t worry, I won´t demolish you. Too much." I chatted with a hint of curiosity while leading Wade back to the lounge in the residence level of my Tower. Once there, I was positively surprised that my Minions obviously had put some extra efforts in finishing these part of my home first.

Guiding my future victim over to a pair of chairs(how the ever-loving hell a pair of black leather chairs came to be if the Tower Heart could only use raw materials in the close proximity I would never understand), a small stone table upon which rested an chessboard, equally made of stone and two miniature armies depicting Minions with various head dresses to distinguish them. Well, except for the King, who was sculpted as an Overlord. Making myself comfortable in one of the chairs, I gestured to Wade "Guest has the first move."

Wade took his time marveling at the pieces "They call the bishops 'scribes', and the knights 'guards'. Even more stupidly," He picked up his first pawn, two spaces from the left and moved him two spaces forward. "The queens are called 'royal knights', and the kings are predictably 'princesses'. Guess we can’t fault them for taking the game and changing the names to better fit their own view of the world."

“Seriously? Ah well, each his slash her own cup of tea right?"

I decided to put pressure in my moves from the beginning to probe my adversaries defense. It´s surprising how many players would succumb to such a rather bold tactic, trying to retaliate and effectively offed themselves in the end. So I started with purposely sending one of my pieces into his kill-zone, waiting if he would take the bait.

Much to my positive surprise, Wade was not such a player. He expertly sacked my piece without endangering his own and in turn beat one of my bishops (honestly, seeing that Minion with a Popes hat and staff made me snort internally) with his castle.

"Giving the first real kill? How generous of you. I might take offense though, if you give me any more pieces. No one wants a reward to be given to them, truth is," Wade licked his lips as he looked me in the eyes. "They like the chase. They like to earn the reward, so that it will taste...that...much...sweeter~." He crooned, watching as I misplaced a pawn as a result so the sudden change in his tone. Well Mister, that´s a game for two.

Keeping eye contact with Wade, I leaned forward a bit and growled out two words. "Chains. Fungeon."

It worked. With a startled grunt Wade misplaced the bishop by a whole two squares, placing it right next to a pawn for an easy kill. With a wolfish grin, I sacked both of his bishops and three more of Wades pawns over the next few turns.

Resisting the urge to 'Mwahahahahaaa!' like your stereotypical cut-out villain because my subtle-as-a-sledgehammer-to-the-face-plan to ruin his concentration was a huge success, I decimated the poor guys pieces like sadistic eleven years old armed with a magnifying glass a colony of ants.

Just as I was about to prepare my kill of his Queen, he suddenly stammered something that threw me off balance.

"Wreck it Ralph references?"

My brow arched a bit in confusion. "Ehrm, nooo? Like in BD..."

Suddenly, my bitch of a brain decided that now was the best moment to ruin my day as my overactive imagination kicked in.

Images of the whole film cast flooded my mind. All decked out in all kinds of Leather, Latex and every imaginable kind of accessories.

Okay, I must admit Calhoun could totally do the Domniatrix thing, ay mama.

Wait, Ralph bending over? What was Vanellope going to so with Sour Bill?!?

King Candy in a...!!!

Oh God, abort! ABORT!!!

WHY?

WHYY~HYHHYHYHYYYY?!?!

"You're not going to beat me, are you Miss Overlady?" Wade suddenly drawled out.

After most parts of my brain had thankfully shut down in order to prevent long lasting traumatic damage without turning me in a vegetable, he went and pulled such a dirty trick, I am pretty sure somewhere in the Geneva Convention was a sole paragraph dedicated against it.

He went and morphed. Seeing it already two times seemed to have me immunized against the sheer yuck!-ness of the process. I watched with the same bizarre fascination like people would watch a train wreck as Wades hair began to grow and take a two toned appearance of grayish mulberry and grayish rose. White fur began to cover his shrinking body as well as his voice began to sound higher and higher with an occasional crack.

This... this was plain and simple... UNFAIR!

He transformed into a perfect Sweetie Belle! Even with the puppy dog eyes and the slightly wobbling lip!

"That would make me ever so sad, it would indeed..." Copy Belle pleaded.

I froze midmotion, my hand hovering over the board lost every connection to my brain, placing my own King I-don´t-know-where and I uttered the only word befitting of this situation.

"C-cute."

I was so absorbed in the weapon grade cuteness in front of me that I barely noticed as Copy Belle propped herself/himself on the table edge, little horn aglow with a light green aura and moved a single Pawn in place, effectively capturing my King.

"Habuh?"

I starred at the cute, little fuzzball with that adorable squeaky voice and these big pools of light green for eyes. Every fiber in my body demanded me to cuddle the everloving daylight out of him... her... Copy Belle!

"I got'cher queen, now king me!" the little Unicorn of the Disaster Crew otherwise known as the Cutie Mark Crusader demanded with the cutest of head motions.

Oh fuck me, incoming fangirl squeal and unstoppable pounce in...

Three....

Two...

One…

The very moment my internal pounce-down was about to reach zero, Wade popped out of existence.

Author's Note

Phfew, giant chapter is giant. Maybe I break it down into two parts later.
My theoretical exams are over and I can do something else than cram sessions all day long. Feels good to be at it again.

This and the next chapter are going to be a crossover with Applegate from Flutters is Shy. You´ll find it here. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/217979/applegate
Flutters is such a treat to work with, go give it a try.

Den of Clan Pyrite conquered. This mine is the home of a Clan of Diamond Dogs and a steady source of precious gems and to a lesser degree ore that will come in handy for producing armor and weapons for yourself and the Minions.

Minion Horde Capacity: 35

Domination: +
Destruction:

5. Versejumping for Beginners

- 5. Versejumping for Beginners -

What the ever-loving fuck was happening? At one moment Wade was right in front of me, the next he was... Oh!

"Guess that was his taxi home then hn?" I asked the empty chair in front of me. Then my eyes fell onto the chessboard. "Damn, he got me good there. Damn you Copy Belle for your distracting cuteness!"

"Umbra, the Overlady! I call upon thee, to right what has been wronged! We must finish our fight, of that we must be certain! Come, Overlady! Come and face your DOOOOOOOOM!"

"Who said that? Wade?" A little frantic, I looked around the lounge as suddenly a feeling of weightlessness began to envelope me and blue light burst from the ground underneath me.

"Oh for the love of..."

Light blinded me, my blood roared in my ears and suddenly I felt like I had pulled an emergency break maneuver while driving 80 kilometers per hour.

I hate this feeling, always feels like I was about to puke.

The light around me faded and my hearing returned to me. Disoriented I looked around.

Hmm, some kind of small room. Kinda cozy. Hey, are the walls made of diamonds? Am I in the Crystal Empire? Then my eyes fell on something familiar. Or rather someone. Just below me laid Wade and I was straddling his waist in a totally not compromising perfect Cowgirl.

"Wade?" the voice of an annoying boy/the daughter of Quasi-Satan/an arachnoid robot and many more could be heard from behind us.
Oh Gods above, this was…

This was...

Aw man!

Just the moment I regained most of my orientation, nopony else but OCD Mc Sparklebutt herself came crashing into the room, promptly fired up her magic and dragged the two of us of to some kind of living room.

This short levitation trip gave me a few useful info’s about Wades verse. First, Twilight was already an Alicorn and two, her Friendship Palace was already out so that meant Tirek was back in Tartarus. Goody, less competition. Third, I was missing my helmet and my mace, so I guess you get called in your momentary state if your token is activated. Good to know, that meant no more sleeping in the buff.

With a good amount of interest, I watched Twilight produce a quill and a notepad from somewhere after more or less gently placing us at different ends of a couch and sat herself on a chair opposite of us.

Hm, had something of an angry Parent. Shotgun talk, pony style. Hey, she´s talking!

"Seeing as you're currently living in my house, I feel I need to lay down a few ground rules. First and foremost. My home is not a place you can bring your otherworldly friends for some 'wedlock loving', if you insist on doing stuff like that then do it at their houses. In a word?" She wrote something on her pad, then turned it to face us. It read ‘No Hanky Panky.’

That did it. I quite literally exploded into hollering laughter.

For the next few minutes my whole world consisted only of laughing my ass of and gasping for air. Finally, with aching sides and cheeks, I managed to get somewhat of a hold of myself. Whipping a tear from my eyes, I addressed the obviously not amused Alicorn.

"Wow, you thought we where about to fuck? Seriously? Well, I have you know that I neither putt out nor let anyone into my panties before the third date. Plus," I put on a devious smile and looked over to Wade who seemed to try and merge his face into his hands "IF, big if mind you, Wadey-kins here where to make a homerun on me, there would be a lot more things involved. Chains, cuffs, a ball-gag, a blindfold, a nice and tight corsage, some nice thigh high boots, candles, a riding crop..."

I went on for a while, casually listing a few of my tamer kinks until Twilight looked like a steaming tea pot and Wade like he was this close to suffering a shame induced facemeltdown.

Heh, this is fun. >:3

"Stop stop stop stop!" Wade pleaded, waving his hands "I actually want her to like you, not think you're some kind of sex fiend..." He sighed and continued. "Twilight, she just came by to finish a game of chess, NOTHING NSFW was happening, I SWEAR."

Aww, you no fun Wadey-kins.

We spend a minute or so watching Princess Purple hyperventilate before she finally calmed herself. I halfway through expected her to start breathing in a paper bag. Ah well.

Suddenly a weird glint appeared in her eyes and all my senses screamed RUN at me simultaneously.

"So then, are you from another Equestria? What is it like? Is there another me there? What are you, your skeletal structure looks similar to Wades, but your skin and other..." she stopped to check out my armors chest area, "areas appear different. Are you a female? Are you the standard template of what a human female looks like? Are you dating Wade? To be honest for a while there I thought he was a colt-cuddler, but I guess that clears that up... Are you a warrior? What’s your armor made out of? I sense a strange magical index from you, would you mind if I gave you some tests?"

Feeling already a bit dizzy from the barrage of questions, I raised a hand and thank all dark Gods in existence, she stopped.

I took a deep breath.

"Yes I am. I am afraid I can´t really say that. Until now I was stuck in the Badlands, giving my best not to be eaten by Dragons and avoiding being cut to giblets by a mad Unicorn Scientist named Crystal Flask to achieve some obscure 'Unicorn Supremacy like in the time of the three Tribes' Bullshit and liberating a stolen Minion Hive from a pack of Diamond Dogs. Is there another you? Given the Multiverse´ tendency to fuck me over, probably. I had not the pleasure to meet her yet. If it is a her. Maybe my Equestria is a Verse with swapped genders and your counterpart is a guy? For what I am? I am... complicated. Yes, I am similar to Wade in many aspects and yes, I am indeed a female. Women would be the term you are looking for. The things you seem to find so interesting at my chest are my breasts. Hmm, change my skins color to one similar to Wades and replace my eyes for some like Wades, make me one or two heads smaller and then you have pretty much the standard human female. No, I am not dating Wade. Not yet at least. For now, I just enjoy antagonizing and embarrassing him."

I was forced to pause here to replenish my oxygen reserves. Damn, how does she and Pinkie manage those question salvos like it was nothing?

"Yes, I´m pretty much a warrior but also a practitioner of, until now, combat based magic. Hmm, what does that make me effectively? A Witch-Warrior? No, too much armor. Dark Paladin? Hell no! Deathknight? Nope, my heart is still beating. Anyhow, my armor. It’s mainly made of the best steel you can get on the market, infused with the souls of one hundred Brown Minions and fifty each from the Reds, Greens and Blues. You want to do some tests? Feel free but I cannot guarantee that you will like what you eventually find. Oh, my name is Umbra by the way."

Twilights eyes had actually gone blank near the start of my little rant and you could almost hear all the little gears turning in her head. Finally, she responded.

"But...I've met Crystal Flask, he's a nice guy..." Twilight slightly halted, looking at me slightly worried but continued just the nonetheless "He's the head of the CCR, there’s no way he could be a supremacist or anything like that!"

"Seriously Twilight? She says all of THAT and the only thing you take away from it is THAT? Who cares what her world version this guy is, obviously it’s different." Wade threw in his two cents.

"Nice Guy? NICE GUY??" I all but roared, jumping straight up "And he is still alive? Where is that fucker? What´s this CCR?"

I felt the oh so familiar flames of hatred igniting in my stomach again. My hands clenched and opened up in short intervals, causing my gauntlets to creak and the urge to annihilate this fucker again in this universe began to creep in my mind, pushing everything else in the background. Kill him. Maim him. BURN HIM!

Hitting the mental brakes with both feed simultaneously, I slowly forced all my tension out of my system in overly controlled breaths, before slumping down on the couch again. "Y´know what, I don´t care! He´s your universes problem, I already took care of mine." I managend to press out. Yep, don´t need another bloodbath right now, had my quota for the next day’s already.

"He's not a problem! Whats the matter with you?!!?" Twilight yelled at me, levitating her upturned chair to an standing position after crawling back out from underneath it. "Professor Flask is the leading herpetologist in Equestria! His findings have advanced medical study by decades, and after all that, he's dedicated his time to bettering pony-changeling relations! Why, I ask you, would somepony like that POSSIBLY be some sort of wackjob 'tribalist'? Obviously you got the name wrong in your world, cause there’s no way somepony like Professor Flask would ever be like that. You're wrong!"

Twilight stalked off, mumbling to herself, before settling once more into her chair.

Trying my best not to melt a hole into Twilights face with my glare I huffed. "Hm, you know Twi, let me tell you one thing: the brighter the Light, the darker the Shadows it produces. Maybe your Crystal Flask is a nice guy, maybe he is just a brilliant actor. He wears small, round glasses, his mane and tail are of a light grey color, his coat is somewhat ochre-ish and his eyes jade green. He has an assistant, a Unicorn mare by the name of Dawn. She has a cream colored coat, her mane and tail are chestnut brown, she dons her mane in a braid and has beautiful aqua blue eyes."

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Just telling you this in chase the good Prof suddenly starts hiring Griffin mercs and the mysterious deaths of dragons and other exotic beings starting to amass, so you can´t say I did not warned you."

With a deflating sigh, I gave a weak smile. "It´s just hard to sympathize with someone who tried to gut me and my best friend like fish. Can we… change the topic? Please?"

Twilight had a look of concentration on her face, like she was trying to remember something very, very hard. "Are you sure her name was Dawn? It wasn't ANYPONY else? It couldn't possibly be some OTHER Unicorn mare with a cream colored coat, brown mane and tail, and aqua blue eyes?"

In the blink of an eye (maybe she really blinked herself), Twilight was on top of me. Quite literally. She was so close to me, I could smell the Dandelion Sandwich she must have eaten earlier. She was literally crawling in my face, pinning her front legs on my shoulders while her wings were beating so fast that they were but a lavender blur. Reminded me of a hummingbird, he he.

"TELL ME!"

This outburst instilled a minimal grain of fear of the purple Alicorn in me.

"Yes. Her name was Dawn, as sure as Celestia raises the sun and Luna the moon. No mistake possible." I rasped.

"I'm...I'm sure thats just coincidence... Yeah! It has to be...or you simply met an earlier version... a DIFFERENT earlier version! YEAH!" The slightly manic mare was on the verge of rambling. I think a saw a few strand of her mane going Sproing already.

"Twilight?" Wade asked, causing her to whip her head threateningly towards him.

"WHAT!??!"

"Do you really have to do this from a position that makes it look like you're trying to rape her?"

After a bout of sputtering, she lowered herself to the floor once more.

"So who the heck is Dawn, and why are you having a panic attack?" Wade asked, probably intending to defuse the situation. All he did was transferring Twilight attention to himself.

"Dawn Delight was Proffessor Flask's research assistant, back before he came across his first dragon corpse and truly started his research into their biology. Some account say she left with him on that expedition, but she didn't return with him...From his own reports they had a falling out before his expedition, and that was the last he ever saw of her..."

"So? whats that have to do with anything? So they had a spat, and never talked to each other after that-" Wade tried but Twilight continued in the slightly hushed tone of conspiracy nutcases.

"You're missing the point, NOPONY ever saw her again, she left a note saying she was tired with life, and was just going to walk into the Everfree forest to end it! And after? When they showed the note to her mother?" She leaned in close, her voice dropping to a whisper, "It turns out it wasn't her hoofwriting."

Listening to Twilight and Wades conversation, ice began to spread in my stomach where a few moments ago an inferno was raging. This was oh so fucked up on every imaginable scale! I don´t know why but somehow I had hoped Twilight had been right with her accusation that I simply had been mistaken. You did not need to be a Horatio or a Sherlock to put those puzzle pieces Twilight was presenting us here together in the right order.

Fuck you Muliverse!

"So they had a spat about working ethics, Chrystal Flask had his goons off his assistant or he even offed her himself to keep his terrible, little secret a secret, buried her body in an unmarked grave somewhere and then he a faked a suicide note. You know, now I am really glad that I killed that bastard. That means at least in my Universe, I have done one good deed and saved a live." I summed my thoughts up in a flat, nearly monotone voice.

When exactly slipped this from a nice, if slightly awkward conversation into this?

Twilight gave me a disgusted, downright horrified look. "No. I refuse to believe that of him. He may be a bit of a loud mouth, but he is not a murderer. I don't wanna talk about this anymore, have fun with your sadistic… woman of a girlfriend, I'm going to go organize my files." She turned and walked off down the hall with a huff, disappearing from sight.

With Twilight out of sight, all my remaining anger zizzled out in a matter of seconds.

I slumped backwards into the couch with a silent groan. >>Fuck me sideways with a broomstick lit on fire with napalm!<<

"So then! How bout that chess game?" came Wades voice from besides me.

"Wow, you really are an anti-confrontational guy, aren’t you?"

"I'd rather stay out of the way of confrontation, yes. There’s not much I can do about...that whole mess right now, so why stress about it? So whadaya say about that game?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah, why not?" I agreed with a sigh "But I may be not at my best though because at the moment I feel like a prisoner on the death-row waiting for the fire squad. Heh, wanna bet how long it will take until Celestia will show up to A) banish me to Tartarus, B) turn me into stone or C) jumps straight to reducing me to a smoldering pile of ash because Twi send her a nice letter about me?"

Wade grimaced visibly at that "If she sent you to...wherever Tartarus is, you'd just poof over to your world eventually. She couldn't stop that. Or at least I don't think she could. Second, aren’t the elements of friendship or whatever needed to enact the 'stoning' ritual? As far as Twilight's told me, they're gone, used to make this castle or whatever. She and her friends can still become imbued with the magic or whatever, but they all have to gather in the castle first. In that one room with all the REALLY uncomfortable looking thrones. So if it comes to that, all you gotta do is bar the front door," he joked. "And if Celestia comes a knocking, you can always just be REALLY friendly and on your best behavior? No sense in antagonizing someone face to face, is there?" Wade asked with a hopeful tone.

"Stoning eh? Think we could maybe talk Sunbutt into sharing her blunt with us if she eventually shows up? Been a while since I had a good one." A small chuckle stole itself from my lips, followed by a shudder at the thought of the pink Demon herself. "Yeah, better not antagonize the Being that has a freakin´ Star as a power source... Hmm, I wonder who would win a match between Last Order Alita versus Celestia?"

Wade stood up and managed a smile. "All~lrighty-then, now where´s that chessboard? We still have a match to finish!"

After a moment of thought Wade yelled down the hallway "HEY TWILIGHT! YOU GOT A CHESS SET??!!?"

No response.

"I...uh...guess we'll have to see if we can find one on our own?" he said with a sheepish smile.

You´re lucky that you´re funny and cute Mister.<<

In the following hour we wandered through the freakin labyrinth that was Twi´s palace and boy, did we see some weird shit. Between dozens upon dozens of empty rooms, we stumbled over some really bizarre stuff.

A whole room filled with what looked like... claw clippings? Da fuq?

Another one was filled with really arousing paintings galore of none other than good, ol´ Celestia . God damn, that one over there in the upper corner was really hot!

The last room we checked was filled to the point of bursting with bowls, filled with all variations of pasta. The room was even fully climatized!

"Okay." Wade muttered, sliding into a sitting position with is back against a wall, "I don't think we're going to find a set here. Twilight might actually have one, but seeing as we can't find her, I don't think we're going to find it anytime soon." After looking out of a Window, his face lit up. “I could just go and get Sweetie Belles set, I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we borrowed it..."

Leaning against a wall myself, I wiped the sweat from my forehead. "Sounds like a solid idea. Now shoo, of with you. I guess I just wait here. Don´t want to risk a panic eh?"

"Unless you have some sort of transformation power I don't know about, or can become a living shadow or have super snake skills, that might be for the best." Wade nodded.

"Hmm, no to all three and I highly doubt that a cardboard box skittering around would fool even the Ponies." I admitted with a smile. Seriously, the whole Snake in a Box sneaking mechanism, it made just no sense.

"Okay then, I guess I'll head out and try to secure our battleground. Just go back to that library room or something, and waste some time. I'll be back when I can." Wade said before he took his leave.

"Kay, will do. Surely Sparklebutt has some nice books that I can read. Been a while since I read something good. Toddles."

With that, I began my trek back. For a moment I considered trying to find my way back to the what I dubbed ‘the Porn Room’ to maybe "acquire" some decorations for my private quarters but sadly I could not find that room again.

Instead, I found my way back into the cozy living room thingy to where Twilight had dragged us of earlier with uncanny precision. After confirming that the Purple Menace was not around, I inspected the room more closely.

A big couch, a small coffee table, the chair that Twilight had occupied during our initial conversation, a very decorative fern in the corner and of course, lots of books, neatly situated in shelf’s integrated into the walls themselves.

Absentminded, I started to fly over the books backs. Hmm, lots of interesting and sometimes pretty funny titles. Brave Hearts Of Monsters and Mares, Dusty Tomes Equestria during the Ages, Restless Walkers Over the Horizon - Equestrias Neighbors, uuuhh Illousionspells for the daily Use by Mirror Mirage.

Picking the last book, I slouched on the couch and began reading.

"... in order to function, the caster must always maintain a constant flow of Mana. Albeit small, this constant strain can be drain untrained spellcasters very quickly. So the author advices the much appreciated reader to have a small rest and at least a light snack before casting this spell for the first time, in order to have access to a full Manapool."

I rubbed my temple with one hand. Urgh, friggin mini horses and their big words. To describe one, one lousy spell, this Mirror Mirage took nearly ten pages. Ten! I set the open book on the small coffee table, standing up.

The primary thought behind the spell I was reading up was simple enough. Create an Illusion of what you want around you, much like a costume. Sounds simple enough.

Okay, the spell was marked as "Advanced" but what the hell? I´m the fuckin´ Overlady bitches, I can shot fuckin´ brainwashing Sith Lightning’s from my damn hand. An illusionary bodysuit should be a piece of cake, right?

Besides, I hate just sitting around. Plus not looking like me meant I could go out for a bit, stretch my legs, maybe get something sweet to bite. Oh gods above, I so needed something sweet!

"Alright bitches, let´s get this party started!" I mumbled to myself and began to cast. Just like Gnarl had instructed me on our little trek to my future citadels place, I envisioned my body as a river bed, my Mana as the river itself and my hand as a Watergate (however the old Fart had come up with such a Zen sounding way of instruction was beyond me. At least it worked).

Opening the gate, Mana began to flow out. Now for the tricky part. I had to will the Mana to coat my whole body in order to create an Illusion. Easier said than done. After what felt like a literal bucket of wasted magical energy, I finally managed. It felt not like the description in the book (a warm feeling, much like a blanket, it was more like a thin shirt) but that would do for now.

Now for the shape. I closed my eyes for effect and envisioned the form I wanted to take. Four legs, a cute snout, a body with a tiny amount of pudge, nibbleable ears, the manestyle, the tail and my coat. I felt my Mana coating shiver and opened my eye. "Okay, I still see my own nose, not sure if that is supposed to be like that. Now, where is a mirror?"

Oh, the walls are made of crystal, that should do the trick. Hnn, let’s see...

"Gah!"

The thing that looked back at me was a horse. A life sized, slightly distorted, horse! "Well, okay, the black coat and the light brown mane looks good so far but I need to cut the size down." I commented my reflection. Huh, the lip synch was a bit of too.

After several attempts to bring my illusionary body down to regular pony size, I ended up with a body slightly smaller than Big Macintosh, just as a mare with a half-length bed head and a likewise styled tail. After consulting the spellbook once again, I realized that everything I picked up seemed to float as long as I used my disguise so I added a small horn with a fitting light yellow magic aura to my Illusion. The only two things that irked me at the moment were my eyes and my cutie mark. My eyes were still the Overlady style whisps and my mark was the same outline of my helmet that I used for my token. In a bloody red on top of that!

Meh, I could fix this later.

With a nod and a smile, I decided to put my new ability to a test by leaving the palace. Not far, maybe just outside the gate? I could wait for Wade and prank him a little. With a "Avast!" I trotted of. Hmm, my steps still sounded like footsteps instead of hooves. Another thing to fix for the list.

After another round of seek-and-get-lost I managed to find the entrance. Lucky me the big doors were already open. The things looked heavy like hell. With a devious smile, I stepped outside.

Ffffuuuu~ Forget waiting, I´ll go and stretch my legs a bit. The weather was just too good not to.

After the first few steps, I noticed a familiar silhouette vanish between two houses. Wade. I quickened my pace, ignoring the fact that I bumped into a plain beige earth pony stallion that was tending to a cart.

"Hey, watch it! My cabbages!" he yelled after me. Dejá vu.

Nearing the alleyway, I hit the brakes as suddenly Fluttershy emerged from the shadows. Wait, something was of... her mane looked slightly disheveled and she had... bat-wings? Flutterbat, what the ever-loving fuck?

It was bright day and as far as I could remember the Flutterbat would only appear at night and only to hunt for Apples so who was that? A changeling maybe? Or did Fluttershy became Flutterbat permanently in this Verse?

My curiosity sparked I decided to follow her for a bit before I would try to find Wade. If I should not find him in the streets, I still could look for Carousel Boutique, seeing as Wade mentioned that he would get a chess set from there.

We were trotting for a while now, Flutterbat moving with determination while I took the opportunity to take in the sights. We just had left ‘Mane Street’ in a sharp left, leaving the bustling marketplace behind us. It was pretty much like the show depicted it, ponies wandering to and fro, going after their business. I think I even saw Applejack behind her stand, selling apples to a random pony.

The hybrid continued a brisk trot towards, heading directly to an unmistakable building that looked like a merry-go-round. Carrousel Boutique! Now it clicked. That must be Wade, he must somehow had gotten his hands onto this form and probably choose it to not cause a mass panic or something.

Keeping my distance, I followed him/her, using the opportunity to ogle the shapely piece of ass my new friend was shaking around. Yumm, yumm.

Flutterbat disappeared into the clothes shop. I decided to wait outside, a nice little prank already forming in my mind.

While I was waiting, I looked around a bit. To my left, a peculiar shop caught my eye. It was discreetly situated in the alleyway, a rather plain sign over the door proclaiming "Lingerie & Refrigerators” in simple italics. Directly next to a pair of refrigerators that looked like they had been taken straight out of the Sixties an also rather plain poster in the shops window proclaimed proudly “Yes, we have exotic cuts and matching socks too!”

Taking a mental note to check my Verses Ponyville for this store for possible shopping, I did not bother myself at all with the sheer absurdness of a shop that sold lingerie and kitchen furniture in the same place and returned to my original goal.

After a while, Flutterbat reappeared with none other than the genuine Sweetie Belle in tow! The moment I saw her, it took an epic amount of willpower and discipline not to sweep up and hug the stuffing out of that filly instantly. She was every ounce as adorable as Wades copy. All of a sudden, a real Bat appeared from somewhere and latched itself into Flutters mane.

"Ferdy! Did you come to wish me a swift victory on the plains of battle?" Sweetie chirped adorably at this. Even with the distance between us, I could hear the slight cracks in her voice.

"So, come to spend some time with me?" I heard the Copy Fluttershy ask, to which in turn the Bat nodded which somehow caused it´s perch’s whole head to bob and that seemed to amuse Sweetie Belle very much.

Okay, time to enact my devious plan. I took a step forward.

Sweetie Belle went silent as she noticed me first, ducking behind the larger mares legs for protection. The Bat also tried to hide in the vast mass of pink hair it clung to. Finally Wade noticed me and with an immense satisfaction I saw his/her eyes go wide.

Not breaking my silence nor eye contact with Wade, I took two more steps and lumbered over the yellow hybrid. After a few seconds (I just could not bring myself to terrorize the cute white filly behind her any longer), I slowly lowered my head, stuck out my tongue and dragged it deliberately slow from the tip of Flutterbats nose all to way up to her forehead. To my surprise, it was silky and clean. Smacking my mouth a few times, I gave a toothy smile. "Hiya."

"Nyaflgaf...sass...fras.....gyufol...naaaaaaaa?" Flutterbat warbled out in an extremely amusing way.

"Umbra," he managed to choke out, "I thought you said you didn't have any transformation abilities?" Meanwhile Sweetie Belle pried herself from behind Wades legs to get a better look at me.

Giving a chuckle, I twirled around on the spot to show of my disguise. "Well, Twi had a book on that subject lying around so I thought I give it a try. You like?" Additionally I felt the burning desire to wiggle my illusionary rump in his face but seeing as a foal was present I passed on that.

Instead I did my best to look friendly as I noticed that Sweetie slowly left her hiding place to look at me. Crouching a bit I smiled at her. It was just impossible not to, that filly was cute incarnated. "Hey there lil´ one." I cooed, my glee barley contained.

"Umm...hi?" Sweetie Belle started, getting a better look at me now. "Are you... a friend of Wade's?" She asked, cocking her head to the side like a confused puppy. Hnnng!

Oh gods, the cuteness! She´s so precious.

"Why, yes I am." Gently I ruffled Sweetie Belles mane. "My name is Umbra, nice you meet you."

A sudden lightheadedness alarmed me that my Manapool was reaching a dangerous low level. Shaking my head to get rid of the unpleasant feeling, I turned to Wade. "He, not to be rude Wadey-kins but I think we really should go back to Twilights place. I´m running pretty low on juice and the last thing we want now is a panic hn?" I informed with a bit urgently.

"Think you can keep it together till we get back to Twilights?" Wade asked me while picking up Sweetie Belle after what seemed like a moment of musing and slid her onto his back.

I gave a nod and we dashed off to castle Books-a-lot, just to arrive just the moment my last ounce of Mana went up into smoke and the illusion went out right the moment Wade slammed the door shut.

We stood a good while on Twi´s foyer, wheezing our lungs out until Sweetie Belle broke the silence. "How come yours can't be cool like his?"

"Hers." corrected Wade.

I turned around just to see the Unicorn filly give me a big once over before Sweetie Belle nonchalantly statet "Sorry, you just look almost exactly like Wade...different coat color and mane length though...do you have a tail?"

Would I had been drinking something, I would have a showered Wade and the filly with it.

"Pffff... what... I... no, I don´t have a tail. Wade, what ideas gave you these ponies?" I half glared at the shapeshifter.

"I give them no ideas. They make them all on their own." Wade stated, trying to catch his breath himself. Then he started morphing back, disturbing the bat from its perch. The flying mammal clung to the back of his head, transferring to Wades shirt collar once he was done.

"Come on, I wanna try something."

"Try what?" chirped Sweetie Belle.

"I got a couple magic crystal thingies from another version of your sister. Apparently they use them as mana potions." Sweetie Belle perked up at mention of her sister, but didn't interrupt. "I can't use them for some reason, but maybe Umbra can..."

"Sweet..." I half moaned. Crystallized mana potions? Count me in! Being OOM sucked balls, majorly so!

It pretty much felt like a hangover after a week of non-stop drinking combined with the mother of all migraines. Ah and for some weird reason my mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

Plus the fact that, no matter of many vases, crates or other storing objects I checked (meaning smashed them or have my Minions smash them), I never found as much as the peeled off label of a Healing or Mana potion. Guess me and the Minions are the only things transferred into "my" Verse. So I followed Wade, silently cursing God and the world for the motherload of pain that was maltreating my poor head.

"A nice bat you have there by the way" Words pressed themselves out of my mouth for the sake of getting rid of the feeling that it was stuffed with cotton.

"This is Ferdinando-"

"Ferdy!" chirped Sweetie Belle.

"Nickname, but whatever," Wade continued on, finally reaching his room. "Okay so just give me a minute, and we'll see if these work."

"A pleasure my fine Chiroptera." I nodded towards the bat and observed the room for the first time properly. It was pretty minimalistic. A bed (pony size, poor guy), a view shelfs, a bedside table with a lamp.

He started rooting through the chest at the foot of the bed.

"Hmm, what do we have here?" A certain shelf caught my interest. On a single board, sat in an orderly line a single bit with a weird engraving (must be this Auric guys I deducted sharply) a gem of sorts, red so I would say a ruby, with a Tri-Force engraved in it, next to some sort of green bouncy ball, a blue glowing vial that made my skin crawl just by looking at it, a metallic stick that somehow reminded me of a lightsaber, a small silver bell and a honest to goddess pokeball!

Turning to Wade again, I saw him handle some small crystal without any visible result. "That´s one of those mana gems?"

"Yeah," He tossed one over to me, "See if they don't work for you, the way it was described you just have to concentrate on it, and it activates."

After catching the small gem, I took a closer look at it. There was Mana inside, alright but it seemed so miniscule. >>Well, can´t break anything hn?<< I thought and focused on the ge... HOLY HELL! All of a sudden an invigorating feeling rolled over me and banished the army of nasty, little midgets with pickaxes which where torturing my poor brain instantly.

"Wo how Wade, this is rad! My Manapool is re-fuelled to the max and they cured my magic hangover too. These things are the biggest thing since the invention of Toast!"

"Glad they work for you. Here, you can have these too, they don't do anything for me." Wade handed me the other two gems, closing the chest. "Hey, do you find yourself in combat situations often?" He suddenly asked, opening the chest again.

Do I find myself in combat situations often? Well, let’s see: Crackle tried to turn me into coal, Crystal Flask wanted to play real life Dr. Bibber with my organs and hey, let us not forget Steel Fang the Diamond Dog Alpha and his merry gang of mangy mutts that wanted to use my Reds as firelighters and my bones as chew toys! So a big, fat YES to that and somehow I had the feeling that a dozen more battles were still lurking beyond the horizon.

"Why, yes. I think you could say that loud."

"Here." Wade threw me a golden banana. A banana literally made of gold!

I eyed it suspiciously. Hm? Bongo drums? Somehow I recognized the rhythm.

"Ooooooh, banana?" I gave my best Molestia impression.

"That’s a token I can literally think of no use for unless you need a distraction. It belongs to a Displaced who was cosplaying as Donkey Kong, by wearing nothing but a hat and a tie. Not even body paint, if he can be believed. He's a raging..." He glanced at Sweetie.

The filly puffed her cheeks in annoyance "What? My sister is Rarity, she leaves her crummy romance novels EVERYWHERE, nothing you have to say will be able to surprise me." Oh honey, do not challenge me here!

I shuddered due to the lovely mental image of some random guy just dressed in a hat and a red DK tie. >>Ehhwähäää, that´s nearly worse than that one Pinkie Pie cosplayer and her costume consisted only of a wig with ears, a tail-plug and a bucket worth of pink paint.<<

"Well alright then, to not offend delicate ears," Ferdinando the bat got some ear scratchies at this point "I'll simply say that Donkey Kong is one of the biggest perverts you'll ever find. He'll chase anything that moves with the express interest of...having fun with it. And the inhabitants of his world aren't much better in that regard. He has a magic coconut that probably among other things, can summon an unlimited supply of whipped cream. I'm never going to call him, but maybe you can use him as a distraction while you're running from a dragon or something?"

Suddenly a mini-wormhole opened up at face level and a second golden banana made violent contact with Wades face, leaving a bright red, banana shaped print. With a tiny tad of schadenfreude I watched him squirm around on the ground for a while.

"Okay then. I guess that one really is yours now."

"Well then, thanks I guess. Having a scapegoat slash decoy up my sleeve could come handy in the future I guess, if it saves my butt from being horrible mutilated." I stored the token away with the two mana stones into my pouch. "So then, how about we finish our little game now?"

"Allright with me, Sweetie Belle gets winner, that alright with you?"

With a squeal of delight, Sweetie Belle whipped the chessboard and pieces out of her bag with a burst of emerald sparkles. In a few seconds, the game board lay in the middle of the floor with all the pieces in their places. Hnnn, cuteness overload! And hey, Sweetie can to magic pretty well here. Nice.

Wade looked at the board before voicing his confusion. "Ummm, I don't remember where our pieces were...do you?"

"Yes, in fact I do." One of these moments that I was thankful for my visual based memory. I placed what pieces our little massacre had left on the field and took a seat.

"Well, if I recall correct, you just sacked my Queen (internally I cringed at how fast I adapted the pony slang for the pieces so fast), so now it is high time for some sweet, sweet revenge." I stated in a sing song voice and moved my own castle, taking out Wades last one. A pleasant smile formed on my lips as I observed that I now was in a position to thread his King. "Check."

Sweetie Belle looked at the board and back to us, as if confused as to why I had moved my piece there. After a few seconds, Wade slid his knight into position, and watched me with a satisfied smirk.

Gah! Okay, stay calm girl. Next shot!<<

"Aaaaaaaaand now you've lost. No matter what you do now, she's going to bottleneck your princess into a checkmate with her scribes and castles." Sweetie Belle pointed out casually.

"Noooo, I could still make a comeback, I still have my queen-" Wade protested.

"Royal knight, and maybe, if you didn't have it way on the other side of the board, pinned against the wall wih your other guard," She pointed at the remaining knight, "As it is, it'll take you two moves to get your royal knight back into play, which you can't really do while you're in check. She's just going to keep herding your princess from this point, until its checkmate."

Wow, I somehow aced it even better than planned!

"Fine, apparently I lose by default, " Wade shot me a look "Looks like you're up to take a beating from her. I shall watch on in muted horror. You were a valued companion, and I shall deeply regret your passing."

Sweetie Belle looked back and forth between us. "I'm not...that good, I swear..."

I resisted the urge to pat her mane reassuring. If I ever learned something, that is to never trust anyone who said 'I´m not that good at XYZ.' Instead I gave my own best grin and retorted "Woe is me, for you to have such sublimal trust in me. But alas, I shall face my demise in the way of a true warrior and so the Gods are willing maybe even prove the neigh sayers wrong." Setting the pieces back into place, I smiled at the Unicorn filly "Now, have at thee oh cute one."

The first half a dozen or more turns were made in concentrated silence as Sweetie and I prepared our respectives strategies. Myself being a fan of a solid pawn wall defense combined with mobile head pieces , I noticed that Sweetie Belle postioned her pawns in some kind of fence without moving her big pieces.

Oh ho ho, that filly WAS good! No wonder Wade got a spanking every time he played with her. Inside that cute, fluffy head of hers hid the brain of a master tactician (or at least that of a very good chess player).

Well then, here we go.<< I silently moved a bishop in striking distance to my adorable opponents pawns.

Sweetie Belle in turn moved a pawn forward, looked dead at me and said "Now we begin. Have at thee and may this be night of thunder." Wow, for such a fuzzy bundle of cuteness, that came of pretty intimidating.

"Heh, Hajime!" was all I had to say as I snagged her pawn.

Sweetie Belle retaliated, her face unmoving. Now that was a Poker Face.

The following turns soon became a flurry of movement, piece after piece our armies were set aside the board as both of us followed our specific tactics, the small Unicorns horn at one point was permanently lit with her magical aura.

Ha! Okay, easy now, two more turns and I have her!<<

A chess piece was moved by a small magic cloud a squeaky voice suddenly announced "Okay, Royal Knight please."

"Hä?" I looked down at the board. There, on my side of the board stood one of Sweeties pawns. How did that get there?!?

The eldritch horror in a fillies coat gave an adorable smile as she replaced her pawn with her queen that I had managed to capture only one turn prior.

"Check and mate I guess."

"Wat?"

"Yeah, you see, my Royal Knight is threatening your Princess which is blocked by your last castle and my own. No matter if you move or nor, my next turn is my win." she explained in a way that left no room for doubts. I had been shown up in Chess by a filly!

Suddenly (and pretty conveniently) the now familiar feeling of weightlessness spread through my body.

Time to go home hn?<< A mischievous thought flashed through my mind.

I starred at the chess board, then at Sweetie Belle, opened my eyes in a dramatic fashion and threw my hands up. As blue light began to emanate from the ground I gave my best to sound like a certain bird-headed, dark god.

"Sweeeeeeeeetieee Beeeelleeeeeeeeeee~"

"~eee!"

With a 'plompf' I landed on top of the seat I had occupied during my game with Wade.

Ah, Milady! There you are again. I was going to be a bit worried there. We had lost the connection to you for a moment. What happened?<< Gnarls voice buzzed in my ears.

"Gnarl? How long was I... disconnected?"

Only for a few seconds, not even a minute.<<

"Oh." So the couple of hours in Wades Verse were just a few seconds in mine. Interesting. "Well, I just escorted my guest out. No reason to worry."

I stood up and walked over into the study/tactical room and towards the big table that held a detailed map of my dark dominion. Prepping myself on the table’s edge, my gaze wandered over to the spot where the den of Clan Pyrite was located. Someone had planted a small banner with my crest there, marking it as my possession now.

Aahh Milady is already planning future conquests, yes?<< Gnarl commented jovially via our mind-link >>Before we do that however, I would like to humbly suggest to pay our latest territory a visit to ensure that these mangy mutts remember who their new ruler is. And maybe to collect the first tributes, hä hä.<<

With a sigh, I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Sure Gnarl, fire up the portal. I´ll be at the throne room in a minute."

°°°

[POV third Person]

Ticket Stacker let out a silent sigh and gazed through the window of his small ticket booth, nicely situated under the big roof of the Dodge City train station.

Today was a boring day for the stone grey colored earth pony stallion. It was Wednesday. Nopony traveled by train in the middle of the week if they could help it. Adjusting the cap that proved his identity as official employee of the Royal Equestrian Railroad Company, he mused if his boss would notice it if he would take his lunch break earlier today.

Oh, who was he kidding? Of course Pea Counter would notice. That creepy mare seemed to have a downright nose for any neglect of the official lunch time rules by the employees.

A sudden, metallic ping caused Ticket´s mind to return to his duty.

A disheveled looking unicorn mare with a chestnut brown mane and a cream colored coat that was stained with big patches of red dust stood on the other side of his counter, a somewhat hunted expression in her aqua blue eyes as she nudged a hoof full of bits over to him.

“E-express ticket to Canterlot pl-please, sir.” Dawn Delight managed between two huffs.

“That will be ten bits miss.” Ticket Stacker replied in an automated monotone, collected the money and hooved the ticket over to his customer. “Next train will go in one and a half hours. Enjoy the ride.”

With a tired nod, Dawn took her ticket and trotted over to a bench. Plopping down, her sore muscles sang ‘Thank thee Celestia!’ in choirs and caused a small moan to escape her dried lips.

She had spent the better of the last nearly four days galloping non-stop after the expedition of her former employer Professor Crystal Flask had meet such a disastrous and traumatizing end. Nearly four days were she had been haunted by the images of the deaths of Professor Flask, these two griffins mercenaries and of course, her. This scary, bipedal creature that had annihilated two
battle-tested warriors with contemptuous ease and brutally murdered one of Equestrias brightest minds.

Sure, Crystal Flasks ideas of which lengths one should be willing to go to achieve a goal had clashed with Dawns own over the last few months but nopony deserved such a horrible end.

Fighting back a sob, Dawn tried to compose herself. She had to go back to Canterlot, back to the University. She had to let everypony know what had transpired in the Wastelands. She dared not to imagine what might happened if that creature might find her way into civilization.

Maybe Dawn could go to Princess Celestia herself.

“Oh dear, is everything all right?” a concerned voice came from her right. Turning her head, Dawn found herself face to face with a beige colored earth pony mare. A blue mane with a pink streak sat upon her head. “You look like you had been through a rough time.” Genuine concern colored the mares voice.

“Heh, more like somepony mobbed the floor with her Bon Bon. Repeatedly. Or totally kicked the living daylight out of somepony dear to her.” A mint green unicorn mare with a light grayish mane quipped from behind the earth pony.

That remark caused Dawn to cringe.

“Now Lyra, that was uncalled for. You are making her uncomfortable, can´t you see.” The mare called Bon Bon chided the one called Lyra before turning to Dawn again. “You have to excuse her. Sometimes her mouth is faster than her brain.”

Managing to produce a thin, albeit fake smile Dawn said in a low voice, more to herself than to anypony else “Even though it´s pretty spot on.”

That however elicited a shocked gasp from Bon Bon and a worried look from Lyra. The earth pony brought a sympathetic hoof up to Dawns shoulder. “Oh… oh, I´m so sorry. What… happened?”

Her shoulders slumping, Dawns eyes meet Bon Bon’s. “Would you believe me if I told you that a strange bipedal creature attacked my expedition?”

Two things happened near simultaneously. Bon Bon let out an audible groan and facehooved and Lyra all but popped into existence right before Dawns snout, nearly climbing over Bon Bon in the process. A predatory glint in the minty unicorn’s eyes made Dawn feel uneasy as those big, amber eyes transfixed themselves on her.

With a strange strain in her voice and barley controlled breathing, Lyra demanded “Tell. Me. EVERYTHING!”

Author's Note

And this is the second part of my work with Flutters is Shy and the crossover with Applegate.

I do appologize if the chess scenes are a bit confuzzling, it wass kinda hard to write. Hope you still could enjoy it.^^

Ta~ta.

6. Overlady routine 101

- 6. Overlady routine 101-

[Macintosh Hills, Clan Pyrite’s den, shortly after the return from the first Verse-Jump]

I stepped out of the portal, my eyes still re-adjusting from the annoying teleport flash. Seriously, there had to be a way to turn that shit down a few notches.

As the last dancing spots of light disappeared, I looked around. The Diamond Dogs’ mine still looked mostly like when I had left it with all the canines’ treasures and my liberated Hive in tow.

The air was still pregnant with the lovely odor of wet fur and smoke.

Mounds of dirt still dominated the general landscape everywhere.

Vest-clad Dogs still mostly digging around without much of a plan in shallow holes, transporting their meager finds to the mysterious slides that would transport them into the depths of the den. I caught more than one of them glancing at me when they thought I was not looking.

There were still a few Guard Dogs present, but instead of rushing me like the last time, they gave me a moderate berth and tightened the grip around their weapons nervously.

The most striking difference were the flagpoles that had been erected at the entrance and at some erratic places along the crater’s walls, with my dirty red flags wafting in a mild breeze. I could even see a bunch of what turned out to be the same working-duds-clad-Minions from my tower erecting a flagpole right in the middle of the of the square.

Idly, I pondered my next steps, seeing as none of the Dogs seemed to be overly enthusiastic to interact with me on their own accord.

Ah, Milady has arrived I see. Good. Now, let us start our lesson in properly managing your first new domain,<< Gnarl's voice buzzed in my ears and saved me from more pondering.

First and foremost Milady, gather your Minions around you. It is both a good show of power and an opportunity to improve their equipment, further strengthening your fighting capacities. On that note, try to summon more than thirty minions this time Milady. I have the suspicion that your control maximum has been increased.<<

“Okay,” I shrugged, turned and called my Minions out of their own portals, seeing as a Red portal has opened up right beside the Brown one. I ended up with thirty Browns and in addition five happily grinning Red Minions, all looking at me with expectant faces.

Ah, I was right. The evil energy that your Ladyship absorbed earlier has increased your ability to actively control more Minions. Well, five more Minions might not seem like much right now, but it is an useful increase nonetheless,< Gnarl commented mentally.

Speaking of Minions, Gnarl, did you send these workers here?<< I ‘asked’.

Indeed. I took that liberty, your Ladyship. Seeing as this lovely hole in the ground does not even has a fortified gate at the entrance I sent those Minions to erect flags to mark your new domain and to build some basic fortifications, palisades and the like. I hope this finds your approval,<< Gnarl explained.

Good thinking there, Gnarl. I was planning something like that too. Can't have my new acquisitions left undefended, right?<<

I aim to please, Milady,<< Gnarl ‘said’, a toothy smile swinging with his words.

“Alright, now about this improving thing…” I said more to myself. How should I do that? In the game it was a piece of pie, just let your Minions wreak every crate, barrel or other container and most of the time they would find something useful. Hell, in part two, there were even weapons and armor lying on the ground around peasants working on anvils.

Hmm, no anvils in sight. Just dogs.

Speaking of dogs, I still needed information about my new mine and its inhabitants, the obvious aside.

Choosing a dog in my vicinity at random, I strolled over to the digging canine in a relaxed pace and tapped its shoulder with my ironclad left hand. The dog stopped its activity and turned to face me.

“Hey there, buddy. Name's Umbra, the Overlady, the Mistress of Minions, all the things that go bump in the night, slayer of your previous leader and new big boss of this lovely dirt hole. I need some info’s and you, my friend, have been chosen to be the lucky pup to answer all my questions.” I smiled from underneath my helmet, my left hand firm but not too firm on the dog’s shoulder, my right casually holding onto my mace.

The Diamond Dog, a rather skinny fellow that was one head shorter than me, with a patchy granite grey fur that was riddled with spots of lighter and darker fur alike and wearing a simple brown vest that seemed at least one number to big for him(now that he had turned around I assumed it was a ‘him’ judging by his facial features) and likewise a simple collar. What surprised me were the slightly dented and scratched glasses he wore on the bridge of his nose. Never knew that Diamond Dogs used glasses, let alone could make them. Then again, it was highly probable that he stole them from a pony or a caravan or something of the like. Nervous yellow eyes measured me from behind them.

“Sooo, first things first. What’s your name, pal?” I asked in what I thought was my best Hades impersonation. The dog’s ears splayed back. Obviously I was more intimidating that I thought. Not a bad thing though.

“G-gobbing… my name is Gobbing… ehrm, Alpha…” the dog stammered, casting nervous glances at me and my entourage of Minions. Yep, a him. I was getting better at this.

Wow, already acknowledged as Alpha by a random dog. News must have been traveling quick.

“Gobbing, eh?” I slightly cocked my head and mustered the shaking dog closer. Where his brethren were muscular or at least stocky, Gobbing was indeed skinny. His arms did not have the usual gorilla-like build, but unlike his relatives he had astute eyes unlike the dull marbles the other dogs had in their undoubtedly thick skulls. Maybe it was just the glasses or maybe it was the fact that his hole was not even ankle deep and his bucket was still empty OR the fact the he answered me with a grammatically correct sentence, but something from the farthest corner of my mind told me that this dog would be very useful in the future.

“Well, you look more like a Patches to me, so I´m gonna call you Patches from now on. Like it? Great, thought so.” Without waiting for the dumbfounded looking dog to answer, I turned around and took him along with me, my hand firmly planted on the newly christened Patches’ small shoulder.

“So Patches, tell me, you seem to be a rather odd fellow for a Diamond Dog, if you don’t mind me saying so. I could not help but notice your ability to properly articulate yourself or your rather, well, lacking physique. Care to tell me why?” I asked jovially. “Nice glasses by the way.”

Patches squirmed under my hand as we walked. Now, I never considered myself to be particularly sadistic, but there was an image I needed to cement. That I was the top bitch around here now and if I would be able to handle little Patches here, the rest of the pack should not pose a problem.

“Ähem… uhm…” the scrawny dog hem´ed and haw´ed.

“Come now Patches, pal, buddy. If you can't tell your benevolent leader, who then, hmm?” I pressured, noticeably tightening the grip of my left hand around his shoulder.

Letting out a big sigh, Patches’ ears splayed back again. “You see, Alpha… I was the last of my litter. A total of nine pups and all brothers. Sometimes I wonder how I survived long enough to eat solid food because my brothers claimed all of mother’s milk first, leaving me with barely enough to survive.” He paused and fiddled with his paws.

Hard childhood, huh? Sounds like a dog-eat-dog world. Literally.

“As I grew up, I noticed that several things were off about me. I never gained the same build like the other dogs and I did not share they simple enthusiasm for digging for bucket loads of glittering gems day in, day out. Instead, I liked to slowly and careful dig up small amounts of rare and hard to find gems. It was like a treasure hunt for me back then, which of course did not please the Alpha at all who wanted quantity rather than quality. On top of that, I had a rather poor eyesight which the other dogs used to tease me about. ‘Oh look. Its mole-dog.’ Or ‘You scrawny and blind. You no good dog, might as well be pony!’”

“Well, look on the bright side Patches. At least you won’t have the quantity versus quality problem anymore because it drowned in molten iron, together with your old Alpha.” I said conversationally and punctuated my sentence with a hearty slap on Patches back. “But that still does not answer the question on how you got your level of education in this lovely neck of the woods... or rather, mountains.”

“Yes, you see, one day the guards brought up a trader pony’s caravan that got lost in the mountains somehow. At first the Alpha was pleased, seeing as caravans often carry valuable goods, but not this time. Aside a few basic tools, this trader mostly transported schoolbooks, quills, all kind of things a normal Diamond Dog has absolutely no need for so the Alpha had it thrown out, but not before I managed to save half a dozen books. I was fascinated by the ponies’ abilities to conserve their knowledge in other, more stable ways than oral lore and their way to teach their young their way with written words…”

“So in your free time, you used the books to teach yourself to read and speak properly, correct?” I assumed. In that moment, I decided that I liked Patches more and more.

A sheepish look sneaked onto the grey dog’s muzzle “Yes. That and Bit Flip taught me.”

“Bit Flip?”

“She was the trader who owned the caravan. The Alpha commanded that she was put to work in the mines, carrying gems and ore to the storages because she had no useful goods for us.”

“Well, your old Boss was a charming fellow, wasn’t he?” I asked, a hint of venom creeping in my voice as I recalled my thankfully short bout with Steel Fang. “So, despite being a prisoner and forced into labor this Bit Flip thought it would be a good idea to teach you?”

“No… yes… I mean, at first she and I had not much contact beside that I was the one who brought her food, but as I learned more and more I stumbled over one word in particular I could not comprehend and so finally one night I sneaked into her cell and asked her to explain it to me. At first she was reluctant, but over time we warmed up to each other more and more. Over the day I would do my best to ease her working load and at night she would teach me how to read, write, and speak properly.”

“Sounds rather nice for a pony.”

Patches nodded and hmm-ed.

A question wormed itself into the forefront of my mind. “Now you have me curious here. What was this word you didn't get?”

A smile formed on Patches’ lips “It was ‘friend’.”

Wow, gag me! That was almost too sweet and cliché for me and that meant something, seeing as I once ate a whole mixing bowl of fondant for a dare. Hmm, easiest fifty euros I ever won.

“Wait, so you are telling me that Diamond Dogs don’t know the concept of the word friend?” I asked with a good portion of skepticism.

“It´s true, Alpha. A pack’s hierarchy is strictly modeled after the concept of ‘might makes right’. On top is the Alpha, the strongest who normally succeeded his predecessor by besting him in battle, oftentimes killing him. Then normally comes the Beta, the Alpha’s second in command. Most Alphas were once Betas until they became strong enough to challenge their leader. After that comes the bulk of the pack, the diggers and guards. Finally, at the end of the ladder there is the Omega, the weakest member of the pack, the one that gets pushed around by absolutely any other dog…” Patches explained to me, his voice notably sagging at the end. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Let me guess, you?”

He just nodded, his weird, club like tail visibly tugging between his legs at the memoires that his explanation without a doubt had made him recall.

“And where do you got these glasses from? From the caravan too?”

“They were a gift. Bit Flip gave them to me before she… went away.”

I watched Patches gently taking of the seeing aid and cleaning them on the inside of his vest. Melancholy was evident all over his face.

“Oh. So she died?”

At that, Patches looked at me for the first time on his own accord, his ears shooting straight up before sinking back again a bit.

“No, no… she… she escaped from her cell that night.” He clarified, his eyes nervously scanning his surroundings like someone who was hiding vital information.

“And pray tell, how did she managed to do that, little doggy?” I asked, making sure that my voice carried enough amicableness not to cause the suddenly very jumpy dog a heart attack, but enough underlying firmness to make clear that this was not a real question and to establish steady eye contact with the now squirming canine.

“Uhm, maybe someone lured the guard away with a juicy bone and eventually in his distraction the guard somehow lost his keys and then those keys somehow ended up just in a reachable distance to the cell's door Bit Flip was held in,” Patches hesitantly explained.

“Ah-ha.” I deadpanned “And how did she managed to get out of a whole den of Diamond Dogs unscathed afterwards?”

“It could be a coincidence, but just that evening someone seemed to have forgotten to lock the storage cave with the lichen beer, which may or may not had pretty much all the guards occupied as soon as they got wind of it.” Patches said, nervously licking his lips at the end.

So in short, not only did I found a Diamond Dog with enough grey matter to be an adequate conversationalist but also one who, despite the fact that he was the punching bag of his pack, managed not only to use the fact that no one would have credited him the balls to try something out of line but also snitched at least two important keys from active guards, caused an efficient distraction and risked his furry ass by freeing a valuable work slave. Hmm, who would have known?

Gnarl, I like this one and I think I have a perfect job in the management department for him. Your two cents?<<

After a moment of mental silence, Gnarl answered. >>Well, I admit, he seems to be a sneaky and crafty fellow but without the possible intention to go behind Milady’s back in the foreseeable future and under the right circumstances. And should he fall out of line, it would probably not take much to rectify that.<<

“Well, then it is a good thing such coincidences will never happen again, right Patches? I mean, unless a dog would be interested in exploring what it would feel like to get molten iron poured down his slash her throat, of course.” I said with a smile and all the underlying sharpness I could cram into my voice.

Patches nodded rapidly.

During our conversation, I led us to the central flag where I stopped. “Alright Patches, I have a few announcement to make and for that I would like all dogs present before me. Is there some kind of call, can we ring a bell for that?” I asked, preparing for my first real Overlady-ish actions.

Much to my surprise, Patches produced a slightly grimy whistle from his vest, put one finger in his left ear and blew the whistle.

No tone came out of it whatsoever. I was about so say something as I heard the sounds of many, many paws and in a few moments the whole square was filled with a colorful assortment of Diamond Dogs, both Diggers and Guards. If I had to venture a guess, they numbered somewhere around one hundred, maybe a few more. Most of them looked confused, some irritated and some even curious. Having the official punching bag blow the proverbial assembly horn was probably something unusual.

“Hey, what gives?” a Digger in the front row asked, visibly irked “Why you call for pack gathering, Gobbing?”

“Yeah, why you have whistle anyways?” a Guard Dog, a female if the slightly softer voice was an indication, asked, baring her fangs a bit.

Good question there, one I would ask Patches sometime soon, as it seemed that the whistle was something important.

After that, several other voices grew loud and soon I felt oddly reminiscent of my old class when a particularly lively debate was raging on. It was loud, everyone was talking over the others and a slight hint of migraine was creeping in your skull.

Once again I was baffled how one could overlook a one eighty tall assembly of glowing eyes, intimidating armor and awesome mace. Well, no use to brood over that. Time for a speech. I held my left over my head and let go of a Corruption Burst. The sharp crack of electricity had the desired effect, shutting the dogs up nearly instantly.

“Hello, dogs and bitches and welcome to your first pack meeting under the new management,” I began, opting to go all out right from the start. “You are all here because I said so. For all of you who missed the obvious hints, those are the flags with my crest on it all around, and the fact that I stroll around here like I own the place because I do, by the way. I am Umbra, the Overlady and I am your new Alpha. For the forgetful amongst you, yes, I killed you old Alpha so that makes me the legitimate new leader, according to the rules of the pack which Patches here was so nice to explain them to me.” I made short pause to allow the info to permeate even the thinky-slush of the most simple dog.

“Ähh… who Patches?” a particularly confused dog somewhere in the middle of the bunch asked.

“Glad you asked,” I said and patted Patches on the shoulder “THIS is Patches.”

“No, this Gobbing,” another dog said.

“Oh really?”

“Ya,” the same dog said with conviction.

“Well, I renamed him, so shut your trap before I rename you Fluffy McCuddlebutt the Second.” The dogs ears splayed back and several dogs around him began to snicker. “Anyways, seeing as I am the big boss of you now, I need someone to manage and oversee the operations here during the times I am in my tower. Someone who is reliable and has a good head on his shoulders, not just some dull rock. For this reason, I hereby name Patches my official trustee for everything Clan Pyrite does or will need to do in the future.”

The silence that followed was nearly deafening. Over a hundred pair of eyes looked at me in confusion, and I had the distinct feeling that even Gnarl was staring with his mouth wide open back home.

Finally, one dog spoke up “Ähhh… what is ‘trastii’?”

Resisting to the urge to sigh loudly, I said, “Beta. It means Patches is my Beta and you are all bound to obey him when I am not around.”

And then, hell broke loose.

Well, not really hell, but all present dogs began shouting in a disorderly fashion. Some began to argue with each other while others seemed to downright froth at the mouth, and others still looked ready to bash in some skulls.

Milady, pardon my words but have you lost it?!? You… you can't make this dog… you cannot give him THAT much power! He downright admitted that he freed a prisoner. If you give him totally free reign in your absence, he is bound to rise against you some time!<< Gnarl yelled over the mind link.

Sure, and you won´t. Eh, old walnut?

Chill Gnarl. I did it exactly because of that. It was not even necessary to apply much pressure and Patches sung like the Comedian Harmonists. Should the thought of rebellion ever cross his mind, I highly doubt that he would be able to hide it for long.<< I replied.

That’s a point, I guess…<< Gnarl grumbled.

After making Gnarl shut up about Patches, I turned my attention back at the present dogs again. In the few moments of my mental talk with Gnarl, it seemed like six dogs in particular had crystallized themselves out of their brethren, seeing as they were gesticulating the wildest and had some berth around them.

I inhaled and bellowed in my most magnanimously magnificent Overlady voice.

“QUIET!”

Nearly immediately all bickering and barking stopped as the dogs turned to me as one. Not bad, I was getting better at this too.

“Alright you mutts, anyone of you got a problem with me? Then get our sorry asses over here!” I stated, pointing the Beast in front of me.

Slowly, the six dogs peeled themselves out of the surrounding masses and walked over, giving me the opportunity to get a better look. Four of them wore the guard’s armor but looked a bit tougher the regular mook, with more pronounced jaws and more muscular arms (veterans maybe?) while the other two wore simple vests that I by now associated with the Diggers. The Guard Dogs and one of the vested dogs were clearly male while the last dog was a female if the two lumps on her chest were anything to go by. Suddenly I was curious. If Diamond Bitches only had two milk bags, then how did they got big litters like Patches fed? But for that moment I choose to ignore this conundrum, seeing as I still needed to solve the mutiny thing that was at hand.

“Okay, so you six have a problem with my decision?” I asked the six dogs.

“Ya! We have!” one of the armored dogs growled and shifted into a more aggressive stance by leaning on his front paws not unlike a gorilla while his ears shifted backwards.

The second dog was just staring at me in silence, just making a show out of flexing his paws.

“You make Gobbing Beta? Gobbing is Omega! Is weakling! Is mole-dog without his pony-looking-thingy!” the third Guard Dog growled.

“Glasses you imbecile, they are called glasses. And what are your two cents?” I stated, looking at the last guard. I felt his eyes trying to burn a hole into me from the depths of his scratched helmet.

“You making bad decision, bad for pack. Maybe you bad Alpha?” the dog scoffed, earning a few supporting cheers. Oh, lovely. Already a challenger after being the Alpha for... what? A few hours tops?

I stared down at the dog “Was that a challenge?”

The dog smiled, showcasing an impressive set of fangs. Not as impressing as Steel Fangs’ but still.

“And you three?” I addressed the other armored dogs “Are you challenging me too?” One just snorted not unlike a bull, the others nodded.

My gaze found the vest clad dogs. “Mind to wait until I dealt with those four? I´ll be quick, I promise,” I asked, jerking my thumb into the direction of the Guard Dogs. The Diggers nodded dumbfounded and hurried to make some room for the upcoming events.

Over the mental link, I heard Gnarl gasp. >>Milady, what are you doing? You cannot be serious? You can´t take on four of these dogs just now. Your body is still weakened from the rebirth…<<

Don't worry Gnarl, I got this,<< I assured the old Minion. At least I hoped so.

Turning to my would-be usurpers I adressed them, my voice brimming with as much confidence as I could muster. “Alright you four, I accept your challenge and since I want this to be over quick, I will battle all of you at once.” This earned excited murmurs from the crowd and disbelieving looks from my challengers. Facing my Minions who seemed giddy for some violence I simply said, “Stay put. Momma can do this on her own.”

“Heh, you not only bad Alpha, you also stupid,” the Leader chuckled and made a show out of flexing his muscles in an attempt to intimidate me. Admittedly, he did a good job as I felt sweat start to form in my everything.

“Nope, just plain badass. Bring it, puppy!” I countered, giving my best to keep my cool. That was enough. As one, the four dogs launched themselves forward, stone-cutting claws poised to rip into me like a child into a Christmas present.

Where just moments before my heart rate and blood pressure skyrocketed, a weird sort of calmness now flooded my mind, soothing my rising urge to book it with an eerie callousness. It was the call of battle, the prospect of death. Like my predecessors before me, it calmed my nerves, honed my senses, and filled my body with a macabre sense of anticipation… to see those who would oppose me bloodied, defeated, and lying broken at my feet.

The four canines closed in, bounding on all fours, teeth bared, barking and howling and all of them with a glint of madness in their dull eyes. I breathed calmly, measuredly, as the blood of the Overlord pulsed and boiled within me, crying out for death. Previous incarnations of the Overlord had razed armies, toppled kingdoms, brought entire worlds to their knees and while all of them held their own unique powers and spells, the very first Overlord, using foul magic long since forgotten, passed down to his successors an innate intuition and talent for spellcasting, to better help those who would follow in his footsteps and bring darkness and evil unto the world. All this knowlegde bubbled to the suface of my mind in the same fashion as someone might recall a distant memory and it filled me with a dark kind of self-confidence.

I raised my left hand and from deep within my soul I felt the irresistible urge to smile as dark magic began to pool in my palm.

From the corner of my eyes I could see the gathered dogs holding their breath. The dogs charging at me were just above an afterthought.

A tiny blue spark was the only warning my challengers got. Immediately after, blinding blue arcs of lightning sprung from my palm with a near deafening crack, rushing into the general vicinity of the charging mutts and slamming into them before they could react, completely stopping them in their tracks.

I could not help it but let out a cackling laugh as my dark magic ravaged the bodies of the Diamond Dogs, the blood of the Overlord within me pulsing in glee as my opponents writhed and howled in unspeakable agony. I felt my pulse hammering as I pumped more and more magic into my opponents, who in turn thrashed and howled, their cries of pain being the sweetest music to my ears. Every dog except the leader. Even though my dark magics ravaged him as much as his buddies he managed to stand back up, looking at me with a pained but defiant eye! Tough cookie, I had to give him that. Okay, you wanna play hardball, you gonna get hardball! I willed every bit of Mana I had left into my spell, knowing full well that I was inviting a mighty magical hangover but to hell with that! My Corruption spell flashed brightly as I felt the last pieces of resistance crumble away, but I did not stop. Nope siree, bob, not today. ‘Might makes right’ was all these dogs respected and if I wanted this respect I had to show that I was the strongest.

“Un... limited... POWER!” I yelled as my spell reached its peak. Four pained howls that were bound to give me nightmares later on and four synchronical flashes later, I closed my hand and canceled the spell. All that remained in front of me were four smoking sets of armor.

Huffing, I turned towards the Diggers who watched me with neatly tucked tails. “Alright… *huff*… you two got anymore… *hah* objections?”

“No, no! No objections, no problems. Not at all Alpha!” the female dog managed to rush out while all the male dog could do was to vigorously shake his head which scored him a quick elbow jab into his ribs. After that he quickly stammered out “No Alpha! No problems Alpha!”

“And what about you all?” I addressed the crowd, accompanied by a wide gesture with my mace “Does any of you still has a problem with me? Then speak now and rest in pieces or shut your trap and go back to work!” I barked the last part, noticing the oh so sweet pulsating pain of magical withdrawal setting in. The dogs scattered like a flock of chickens at the sight of a dragon.

As the last dog had left, I turned towards Patches who looked like one of those street performers imitating a statue. “Alright, now that we have that clarified, let’s talk business my new Beta.” I rasped, my throat feeling raw for some weirdass reason.

“B-business?” my new trustee muttered, slowly coming out of his shock.

“Yes, business. I still need to know what it is exactly that you guys mine here, how much per day, the quality, how many dogs exactly live in my new mine, such things. Business,” I confirmed. “And please keep it down a bit, will ya?”

Still shaking, Patches took a calming breath and began to explain while I did my best to listen attentively.

Steady applause rang out in my ears and Gnarls voice sounded through the ether, soothing like a rusty chainsaw >>Bravo Milady, very good. Marvelous application of Overlord rule number five ‘Rule through fear’, though I must ask you to not make it that close in the future. You nearly ran out of Mana on the last few meters.<<

Gnarl?<<

Yes Milady?<<

Shut the fuck up, my head is killing me!<<

Of course Milady. Shutting up.<<

°°°

[The dark Tower, a few days after the visit in Clan Pyrite’s den]

“Once more, Milady and this time, please for the love of everything that is dark, at least try to aim in the general direction of the target,” Gnarl groused.

Waving my left hand to cool the metal of my Gauntlet of Domination, I snarked back “Well excu~use me for being right handed for the whole of my life, which makes it a rather intense task to learn to properly aim and hurl magical flame spheres at a target the size of a damn dinner plate at a distance the most professional Hitman would feel challenged!”

Gnarl sighed heavily, licked two of his fingers and extinguished the ember that was busily eating away at one of his eyebrows.

We stood in a large room that according to Gnarl, would once house my very personal training facilities as soon as we had the needed furniture. I had been as enthusiastic as a snail confronted with a bucket of salt at the prospect of a gym in my tower but Gnarl had insisted that a healthy evil mind could only reside in a healthy evil body, thus the need for all kinds of equipment that I normally associated with torture devices and not the kinky kind.

“May it as it be, Milady, this does not change the fact that you need to at least halfway master your new spell before we head out for the next time. Countless generations of Overlords have proven that the Fireball is a trusty combat spell with a multitude of side uses. We can count ourselves lucky that absorbing the evil energy of the dog leader somehow enabled your dark Magnificence to use the Fireball spell on the same basis like your Corruption spell,” Gnarl droned before pointing his stick at my target, a ramshackle thing made of leftover boards from a construction side somewhere in the tower. “Now remember, feel the Mana flow into your palm but do not forget to add some of your Ladyship’s passion into it to change the spells properties to fire instead of lightning.”

Yes, obviously my emotions could somehow affect my spellcasting. While pouring additional wrath or disdain into my spell, I somehow ended up using my Corruption spell, while passion (which was commonly associated with heat or fire,as Gnarl had explained to me) could alter the outcome to fire and subsequently making me cast a Fireball.

I did as instructed and a few heartbeats later small embers began to form a flickering sphere in my palm, the size of a marble.

“Good, very good Milady. Keep it steady now,” Gnarl continued as my spell grew until it had reached the size of an orange that rotated between my fingers which I held in a claw like fashion.

How one used the hand during spellcasting was obviously also extremely crucial for the stability of the spell. While it was fine and dandy that I completely spread my fingers during the use of my Corruption spell, seeing as it was more or less a homing attack, I had to carefully form and guide my Fireball unless I wanted it to blow up into my face which I found out the hard way as I first attempted to consciously use my new skill. Good thing Gnarl had insisted that I practice my spell fully geared or else I might have lost my eyebrows and a good portion of my hair. Someone could have told me earlier that compressing the flame like in Skyrim would end in a big ka-boom.

“Yes, yes! That’s the way Milady. Now, lob it at the target. Remember, the key is to stay elastic in the elbow!” Gnarl’s excited voice rang out from behind a sandbag barrier that had been piled up by a few Minions after my tenth failed attempt to cast the Fireball.

Staying elastic, ha, easy to say for someone hiding behind a few dozen sandbags. Well, he was right though. Not stiffening your arm at the end of the motion was a key in combination with the visualization of actually throwing a physical object instead of an intangible sphere of compressed flames.

“Well, here goes nothing,” I mumbled and let my arm snap towards the target. The spell left my hand and nearly that instant, it grew to the size of a handball. Something about the compressed nature of the magic that Gnarl had tried to explain to me but I didn´t get it. Gnawing at my lip, I watched the fiery projectile soar through the air.

“Come on, come oo~on…”

With a ‘whoosh’ the Fireball impacted against the wall solid three meters to the left from the target, adding another sooth stain that stained the rooms floor, walls and the ceiling.

“Aw fuck it!” Annoyed I threw my arms up.

“Now, now. This is the closest your Ladyship has come so far,” Gnarl said peeking over his cover in an attempt to keep the remains of my motivation from crumbling. “That is clearly an improvement after just practicing for the better half of the day.”

“Still feels like a waste of time,” I said glumly. This was hard.

“Hardly, Milady,” Gnarl said as he left his barricade “Today we did not only learn of your new ability but also that you need a lot of training to use it effectively in the future. I would call this a productive day, all in all.”

“Way to raise my spirits, Gnarl.” Maybe I would learn faster if I used him as a moving target?

The old Minion showed a crooked smile. “Yes, one of my often overlooked talents. Well, how about we call it a day for today and continue the lessons tomorrow? In the meantime we could venture to the brood-pits and ask Norbert to resurrect Wiener so Milady could get dinner?”

I was about to answer but my stomach was faster, demanding nutrients with a sound that would not have been misplaced in a lion’s den in a zoo.

“Yeah, sounds good,” I grinned sheepishly.

As we made our way down into the catacombs of my tower I asked Gnarl, “Hey, think Wiener will hold it against me that I torched him when he served breakfast?”

Gnarl took a moment to ponder while our steps, my heavy metallic thuds and his pattering, sounded through the stairs. Finally, with a throaty chuckle the wizened Minion answered. “In all honesty, I don't think so Milady. Although I believe I will never be able to look at a pot of jam in the same way ever again. It does not happen every day that a Minion ends up as a pile of ash just because a dark Ruler reached out for it.” At the end, Gnarl noticeably had to fight down his mirth.

“S-shaddap! It was a damn accident!” I yelled flustered, feeling my cheeks heat again up in embarrassment over my magical breakfast mishap for the umpteenth time today.

°°°

[The dark Tower, the Forges the next day]

“So, you have enough iron and other materials to work with?” I asked my head-smith.

The Minion, a Red much to my surprise and going by the apt name of ‘Welder’ nodded his ram horned head. “Yes Milady. We have loads of iron, good iron and wood and coal, yes. It will burn, burn bright the flames will, yes it will! Burn, burn, burn!” Welder answered dutifully only to delve into a manic giggle at the end. But hey, what do you expect from a literal firebug?

I sighed and rested my face in my palm for a bit.

The forge of my tower had come out nicely, especially with the pilfered smelter and all the tools from Steel Fangs’ old forge. Gotta hand it to that dog, he had known his tools. Together will several wagon loads of iron ore that the Arch Heart sucked out of the mountains as it had built my tower, my smithy was now officially ready to pump out weapons and armor for my little lackeys, seeing that the Diamond Dogs turned out to be only capable of making the most rudimentary armor and weapons for themselves. They even seemed unable to comprehend the simple concept of adapting the size from Dog to Minion.

Well, at least they were continuously pumping out several baskets of mixed gemstones and even a few baskets of iron and silver ore from the depths of their mine. Patches had so far proven to be a good trustee and the others dogs had not given as much as a peep until now.

My thoughts returned to the present as I observed the busy Minions that made up my smithy team under Welders guidance filling forms with white glowing, molten iron, hammering away at the sparking slugs and placing the finished parts on in waiting racks.

It was strangely hypnotic, listening to the beat of the hammers, the hissing of the iron and the occasional manic cackling from Welder as the formerly empty racks got filled with sleek, black helmets sporting integrated face covers and simple, likewise black cuirasses that would offer good protection while at the same time not restricting my Minions movements. Curved, single edged swords, short axes with broad heads and Minion sized spears glistened in the fire of the forge together with special gloves for the Red Minions which would them allow to utilize their fire globs better (even though I had no Idea how this worked). It all filled me with giddy anticipation for my next little adventure.

But there was still one thing I had to take care of before. Additional armaments for myself. As much as I loved my unleashed Beast, carrying that lump of steel around anywhere was starting to get taxing. Also I had the creeping suspicion that I would be in dire need of more stealthy weapons. For that reason I picked Welder up by the neck not unlike a cat and walked over to the part of the forge that was, as Gnarl had explained, dedicated to the production of the finest weapons and armor known by Minionkind for my personal use only.

Putting the surprisingly light Minion back onto his clawed feet and pondered for a moment what kind of weapon I wanted. Something swift, yet deadly. Something that could be relatively easy be hidden in comparison to my mace. Something with style. Yes, something down to earth.

Snapping my fingers, I exclaimed, “A falchion! Welder, I want you to make me a falchion. But don’t make it flashy or fancy, just a simple blade with a simple sheath. No thorns, no demonic faces. Plain and simple.”

“A commoner’s weapon Milady?” Gnarl piped up, sounding displeased. Most of the time he was following me around in case I needed something, effectively only leaving me alone when I slept. Came to think of it, I never noticed where the old fart vanished to when he was not buzzing around me. Hmm, maybe he had his own room? Or did he sleep in the Brown Hive? I had to ask him that later.

“It may have started out as that Gnarl but a falchion is a pretty useful thing. Sure, most people tend to use it as a secondary weapon but in a cramped environment it is much easier to use that my clunky mace. Besides, it is a light weapon, allowing for swift slashes and thrusts should I face nimble opponents while my mace is better for downright smashing and crushing big or slow things. On a side note, I wanted to go and try this infusing thing you told me about,” I explained.

At that, Gnarls face lit up. He always seemed happy when I remembered one of his lessons and put it to use. “A splendid idea Milady. Infusing your equipment with your Minions life force can give you the edge in combat and catch your enemies on the wrong foot. Seeing as we only have plenty of Brown and Red life force, which will your Ladyship choose?”

“Hmm, the Red life force causes fire damage right?” I asked and Gnarl nodded “But the Brown adds more physical ‘oomph’ to the weapons blows right?”

Gnarl nodded again.

“Well then Welder, make me a falchion saturated with Brown life force.” I ordered and watched my head-smith promptly go to down on his anvil and tools. Admittedly, watching a score of fifty Minions jump into the liquid iron with gleeful expressions was a bit unnerving but not even ten minutes after I had made my request, Welder stood before me and presented me the fruit of his hard work. I did not even tried to ask how he could work so fast.

I took the weapon from Welder and unsheathed the blade. Like I had ordered, the blade was simple polished steel, roughly seventy centimeters maybe seventy five with a single razor edge and a slight curve towards the point. The only thing that was not simple was the handguard, which was modelled like the wide smiling face of a Brown Minion with the ears serving as the actual handguards while the head forming the center, with the blade protruding from its scalp. Looking closer I could have sworn that I had seen a expectant twinkle in the blank metal eyes.

“Well, this looks good so far Welder.” I said, giving the weapon a few test swings. “Feels nice to swing it.” Spotting an armor rack in the basic form of a mannequin, a smile crept onto my lips. I walked over and swung my new blade at the defenseless wood. The moment the blade made contact, the eyes in the handguard flashed yellow and my eyes went wide together with my grin as the falchion cut a deep notch into the wood, deeper that it should have.

It felt… good.

Better than good. It wanted me to take another swing so I did.

Another notch now marred the wood and was quickly joined by another. And another.

I did not noticed when I began giggling like a psycho but I noticed it when the abused armor rack finally broke apart and my enthusiastic swings only cut through empty air.

I felt a slight lightheadedness as I stared at the ruined rack and the blade in my hand. The eyes of the Minion ornament were positively glowing now but the glow soon began to vanish until the eyes were lifeless again.

“Gnarl?” I asked carefully sheathing the blade “What did just happened?”

After a moment of thinking and a quick conversation with Welder in Minionesse, Gnarl clapped his claws and gave me a grin. “Well, it seems Milady that infusing your new blade with the essence of the Browns somehow enabled the blade to feed some of the Brown Minions appetite for battle and violence into you which each swing your Ladyship makes. Additionally, it seems like each successful blow is strengthening the actual impact, making the blade more devastating the more violence is used.”

Ah great, looked like I accidentally created a berserker blade of sorts. “And what’s with the psycho giggle?”

“If I had to venture a guess, I would say that this is a minor side effect of the Browns, ehrm, enthusiasm for battle and violence. But do not worry Milady, I am sure this will fade soon the more you use your new weapon.” My adviser voiced his thoughts.

“O~kay, if you say so Gnarl. You are the expert in magical things.” I eyed the inactive blade that rested safe and secure in its sheath.

“Of course. Only one thing left to do Milady.”

“And that would be?”

“Name your new weapon of course. Its tradition after all,” Gnarl proclaims, holding up a single clawed finger.

Naming my weapon sounded a bit cliché but hey, Gnarl was the expert. Besides, every piece of equipment the Overlord used had a name so why not? Unsheathing the blade again, I mustered it, watched the reflection of the light on its polished surface and recalled the strange giddiness I felt swinging it.

“I think I will call you… ‘Mayhem’,” I told the blade and I could have sworn that for the fraction of a second, I had seen that twinkle in the ornaments eyes again.

Author's Note

New chapter, more world building.:yay:

Looked over and improved by ArreClonClippo. He´s a dear.

8. Delta Overlady part I (SMUT!)

- 8. Delta Overlady part I-

Warning: Kinky shit ahead! A lot of it. I mean, really, really a damn lot of it. Basically the whole chapter, so some of you might just want to skip it completely. You won´t miss much main story related and will be able to puzzle things together later on. This is just some kinky sexy times including F/F, F/M, Fem-Dom, Pet Play, Bondage, multiple Partners and then some. There is a ‘Sex’ tag in the description for a reason folks.

Zinnia had quickly turned the tables (and by that I mean me) on our fun and now she had me on my hands and knees, face in the dirt as she fucked my ass.

"Girl, I'mma have to start calling you the Underlady if this keeps up," she grunted and I let out a yelp when she brought her hand down hard on my ass cheek. "And with how cute you are, it will."

"Only if you put a collar on me too." I gasped out as my new sexy friend plowed me into the ground almost literally. Hehe, wow, it had been ages that someone had brought out my submissive side that quickly but there was something about Zinnia that did the job with flying colors. I could not point my finger at it; maybe it was related to her wings in some way...

"HAHH!" I yelped loudly as I felt my ass being smacked just how I liked it. Turning my head a bit so that Zinnia could see a part of my face (and the raging negativ-blush I was sporting now); I whimpered "P-please... do that again..."

"I'll do you one better," she whispered, and a purple energy exploded around her hand, quickly reforming into a claw-like shape. "Dragon Claw," she added, bringing her hand down hard.

I came. Yepp, like that. Don´t judge me, I´m into spanking. Zinnias augmented hand delivered the blow and my body spasmed as my orgasm rocked me. I somewhat managed to collapse while keeping my butt upright, heavily panting in the dust. "Oh god, yessss~…" I mumbled hazy minded. It wasn't long after that Zinnia blasted her load in me, groaning loudly.

"Ahem."

I paled (as much as one could with skin as dark as mine), turning slowly towards the voice to see five familiar mares stood at the edge of our little crater of coitus.

There stood (in that order) Twilight "OCD" Sparkle, wearing the mother of all unamused expression, though I could swear there was a hint of an blush on her cheeks.

Next came Rarity. Much to my surprise the drama queen was not fainting, witnessing such raw and primitive acts but was fanning herself with a smile on her ivory muzzle that send a miniscule cold chill down my spine.

Applejack was standing next to Rara but was hiding her face suspiciously behind the brim of her well-worn cowboy hat, her impressive thighs squirming against each other traitorously.

The next was a very giddy and very naked Pinkie Pie (which, for some reason did not surprise me at all) showcasing her rubenesque figure with cake fed hips, a squishy rump and a pair of breasts that rivaled honey melons and bounced up and down with her.

I somehow dreaded looking for the last party member because the Pegasister deep inside me dreaded what this lovely little scene here could have done to Fluttershy but the timid mare did not stood by her friends. I was about to thank every cosmic power for that when I realized a third heavy breathing right beside Zinnia and me!

Zinnia used the moment I used to try and sink into the ground to vacate my premises only to be replaced by something equally warm, wet AND squirming.

IS THAT A TONGUE?!?<<

Fighting down a heart attack, I managed to look behind me and there was Fluttershy! The Pegasus was going at it with a downright predatory glint in her eyes, her tongue twirling around inside of me, lapping Zinnias magical spooge out of every crevice it could reach while her soft, fuzzy hands sneaked along my sides towards my breasts, only to grope and fondle them in ways I would never suspected the "scaredy cat" of the Mane Six to know and...

"Fuuuuu~"

Yepp, I went over the edge again, this time thanks to Flutters and her heavenly rim-job.

I was so making sure to NEVER tell anyone about that!

Once again I felt the warmth of another move away from my nethers, and when I looked back, the sight of Fluttershy laying on her back greeted me, a dreamy, far-off gaze and a heavy helping of both my juices and Zinnia's all over her face. Her sundress had been pulled down, allowing her massive juggs to hang free, heaving with every breath.

Aaaa~aand another thing I would never tell another living soul!

With an internal sigh, I willed my legs to support my weight and stood up, not even bothering to hide anything since the damage was already done.

"Äh... hi?" I waved with a cum-caked smile.

"Fluttershy!?" Twillight's voice shrieked.

"D-darling..." Rarity breathed.

"Woohoo! Go 'Shy! Me next!" Pinkie Pie the Party Queen. Guess that translates to every kind of party, at least in this Verse.

Showcasing a poker face worth of its own legend I turned to Zinnia and asked "Hey Zi, where did you put my clothes again?"

"Oh Umbra my dear," she said. "You're not getting them back until I want you dressed. And you just look too good without them to let that happen."

"Zinnia, I swear by Cthulhu...." I hissed, trying in vain to keep the blush down and the returning heat away from my nether region.

"Yay! Nudy party!" Dammit Pinkie...

"Hey, if you wanna join in then I'm not gonna stop you," Zinnia said, standing up. She reached down, grabbing her member again as it gained it's purple glow, pulling the massive purple dildo out with a groan. "I'mma take Umbra to my pla-HELLO!" Fluttershy had invited herself for a taste of Zinnia too, apparently, causing the girl to cry out in shock. "YEP! YOU CAN COME TOO!"

I took that opportunity to drag my palm over my face. "It´s not heat-season by any chance, is it?"

"Not for Pegasi or Earth Ponies, it isn't," Twilight provided, turning around and walking away. "Pinkie just likes to make people smile in any way she can and..." she paused, glancing back at Fluttershy, who now had Zinnia eating her out in return. "I'm not sure what's up with Fluttershy. She normally wouldn't do this."

"Darling," Rarity giggled. "You have no idea what she keeps under her mattress. And our weekly spa day?" She visibly shuddered, a sultry grin on her face. "Let's just say Aloe and Lotus do, in fact, offer the 'Happy Ending' treatment."

Oh gods above, TMI!!!

I mean, I wasn't above "clopping" to sexy MlP fanart but seeing and hearing it the flesh... nope, just nope!

"Hey, there isn't by any chance a guy name Donkey Kong running around here, spewing obscene amounts of whipped cream out of a crystal coconut?" I asked, pointedly avoiding to look at Zinnia and Flutters going at it or at Rarity, who was right now filling a big chunk of my mind with lots of sexy thoughts starring her, Fluttershy and the Spa Twins.

"…" Twilight just stared at me like I had grown a second, third, fourth and fifth head, each one a different color. "I'm... Not even going to ask. But no."

"Just making sure." I said, holding up my hands in the universal gesture of 'oh god, please don’t kill me, no please don’t rip my leg out and beat me to death with or read Vogon poetry to me!'

"...Right." Twilight once more turned around, but didn't start walking away for a minute. "Well, could you maybe get those two to stop? We've managed to convince the Buffalo and the Appleoosans to join up with the Equestrian military, and Zinnia's got to head back to Canterlot to give Celestia the report. Me and Applejack are going to stay behind and help organize everything."

"I´ll try my best." I said and turned to the taco eating contest between Zinnia and Fluttershy. Slowly I bend down to Zinnias ear and whispered in a husky voice "Hey Zi, tell you what. Pause your taco munching contest with Flutters here so we can back to Canterlot and I promise you a ten course 'all you can kink' buffet with me as the main dish."

That got her.

"Wait, what!?" she cried, shooting upright. Fluttershy whimpered at the loss of her pleasure before she seemed to realize what she was doing.

"O-oh my!" the Pegasus stammered, fixing her dress and attempting to shrink in on herself. "I-I'm so s-sorry, I-I just... A-and you were... I-I thought..."

Aaa~and there was sweet doormat Fluttershy again.

"Woah, relax." Zinnia reached down and pulled Fluttershy to her feet, pressing the mare's face into her (still very naked) bosom. "I was going just as hard as you." She paused, looking to me. "But on another note, what's up Candy Ass?"

"Sparkles and AJ are staying here to help organize the Buffalo/Appleoosan and Equestrian Army thing, we are supposed to head back to Canterlot to give Celestia a report." I gave a quick rundown.

"Oh, well alright then. C'mon Fluttershy." With that, the naked woman and the blushing mare clambered out of the cater, cum on both of their chins. I watched them go for a moment.

"Hey!" Pinkie shouted from right behind me, making me jump. "Let's go, slowpoke!" Then she reached down and grabbed my ass, giving it a hearty squeeze. "Ooh, squishy!"

GAAHH! Be strong my heart and keep beating for fucks sake!<<

I turned to the Pink Menace, smiling a bit strained "Why, thank you, I´ve put some hard work into it. Now, I don´t think I can ask you for a napkin of sorts? It seems that I still have some cum on my... everything."

At that Pinkie gave me a weird smile that was on par with Rarity earlier and before I could say anything, the pink mares mouth opened and suddenly there was a cartoonish long tongue all over me, leaving my body squeaky clean after five seconds. I did not know if to feel molested or turned on.

"Hmmm~." Pinke hummed delighted and patted her pudgy belly "No need to waste perfectly fine frosting don´t cha think?" she asked me with a saucy wink before she pronk´ed out of the crater, the deposits of fat on her ass jiggling with the jump.

With a defeated sigh, I followed suit. On the bright side, at least it was a warm, sunny day.

[One nude train ride later]

Wow. Just... wow. Well... Zinnia got us a private car... with Pinkie... and Fluttershy...

Now, WE didn't do anything, but Flutters was still all worked up and Pinkie... was, well, Pinkie. So we were serviced completely by two horny, and skilled, might I add, mares. Respect were it was due.

I knew I should have felt conflicted but I was too busy trying not to crush Fluttershy's head with my legs and screaming my bliss (silently) to the high heavens.

There must be something in the air here. Or in the water. Yes, that must be it!

Now, Zinnia was taking the lead, dressed in a black string bikini with red curls cupping around her breasts that she had pulled from her bag along with a pair of thigh-high heeled boots and matching elbow-length gloves. She gave a sharp tug on the leashes in her hand, making me lurch forward slightly, Fluttershy and Pinkie doing the same on either side.

Somehow, the (sexily) deranged woman had managed to talk us into this little stunt, dressing us up in skin-tight, white latex corsets that had no breast cover, crimson thongs with large zippers over our slits, crimson nipple pasties in the shape of hollow triangle with a smaller triangle sticking out of the bottom, red fuzzy handcuffs holding our arms behind our backs, red stockings and white sandals. Purple ring gags kept our mouth wide open, drool leaking down our chins. And finally, we all had customized collars around our necks, mine being stark white with purple spikes. Guess she was trying to appeal to my 'evil' look or something.

Trying to catch up with a few steps, I kept my gaze glued between Zinnias shoulders, feeling each and every single pony's gaze hot upon my skin as we were paraded towards Canterlot Castle. Needless to say, I was positively leaking.

The guards at the gate took one look at us, their eyes following our leashes until they saw the woman leading us, and promptly dropped to their knees, mouths wide open in shock. A quick glance at the thin cloth covering their crotches told me they liked what they saw, and I smiled a little around my gag.

"Boys, please," Zinnia - no Mistress Zinnia - cooed, tucking our leashes into her waistband and running her hand under their chins. She closed their mouths with an audible *umph* from both men. "You're on duty, control yourselves."

She strode past them with a chuckle, taking the leashed in hand once more. "Come along, pets!" she called. "We have a princess to see!"

'Oh joy!' was what I wanted to think but instead all I managed was a submissive whimper as I felt the guard's eyes follow us as long as they could. I wondered when they would notice the little puddle I had left at the gate.

"Pinkie, I know you're trailing behind," Mistress suddenly said. "You'd better not be cleaning up anyone's mess!"

Sure enough, when I turned back to look, Pinkie was walking along with her cheek pressed against the marble floor, sticking her tongue out to lick up anything me or Fluttershy left behind.

"Buh ish sho 'ooh!" she replied, struggling to speak around her gag. I eyed the pink fuzzy collar around her neck, wondering idly when Mistress had gotten them.

"Are you disobeying me?" Mistress asked, stopping and turning to us. Pinkie shot to her feet, giving the guards a nice show as her boobs wobbled around, smacking against each other. "Good girl."

Argh, she nailed the Dominatrix tone to a tee! Just plow me already!

After reining my thoughts back in with the promise of a lot of kinky fun times later, I wondered how good old Sunbutt would react to our little show. I could tell that every single male guard - and a few females too! - were eating us up with their eyes (a few that thought themselves especially stealthy, jacking off behind their shields which they positioned in front of them. That didn't dampen the noises, you bunch of amateurs!) together with a handful of maids that seemed in a hurry to get to the next broom closet, slamming the doors behind them. I yelped when one of the more daring ones decided to try his luck, pinching my butt. Mistress whipped around at the noise, glaring daggers at the guard.

"Excuse me," she said, her voice carrying an icy undertone. "I have no problem with sharing my pets, sir. But only if you ask." With that, she smacked the guard with an orange-glowing backhand, sending him flying into the wall, before resuming our trip. We reached a large set of double doors before too long, one depicting Celestia holding up the sun and the other Luna doing the same with the moon.

"Okay pets," Mistress cooed, turning to the three of us. "I want you on your sexiest behavior for the princess, understood? That means you need to be pressing against each other, sucking tits and kissing ass."

My eyes widened, saying 'Are you fricken serious?!?' for me. Pet play was one thing, making all the castle personal horny as hell another but putting on a show for the very Princess that held power over a giant-ass ball of flaming plasma? That was calling for all kinds of totally not good pain!

"Yes, Umbra. I am serious." She leveled a sultry gaze at me, making me slightly nervous. "And if you refuse then your punishment will be three hours of sexual torture with no release while you watch me make Pinkie and Fluttershy cum again." She moved closer, looking straight into my eyes as her voice quietened. "And again." Closer, quieter. "And again."

"´ot hamm´it, a ho hit, a ho hit!" I garbled out around my gag, pressing my thighs together as my pulse hitched. Zinnia would do that, I could see it in her eyes, she would god damn do it!

"Good girl. Now," She spun around, placing her hands on the doors. "Prepare for our grand entrance."

She pushed the doors open, sashaying into the throne room.

"Oh, Tia! I'm ho~ome!"

I walked in after her before turning to Fluttershy, bowing down to pull her nipple into my mouth. Pinkie did the same, except she dropped onto her back and slid herself underneath me, licking at the surface of my thong. Damn this incredibly thin piece of cloth!

"What the hell!? Who're you!?"

That... that wasn't Celestia.

Instead there on the throne sat a alicorn mare in a lighter shade of pink, with a delicate crown on her head instead of Tia´s trident thing. A lovely yet simple dress hugged her god-fucking-damn hour glass figure while leaving an generous window for her delectable bust that did not needed to fear competition from Pinks, Flutters or Zinnia.

At her side stood a Unicorn stallion, stark white with an electric blue mane. He wore some kind of gala-ish uniform with a red jacket, white trousers and a horribly clashing purple chest plate. His sleeves were decorated with a lot of golden badges.

There, in front of us where this Verses Cadence and motherfucking Shining Armor!

Someone kill me now!<< was my only thought as the gruesome truth crystalized out in my mind.

Cadence stared openly at our little display, seemingly admiring us, while Shining looked everywhere but.

"Who am I?" Mistress demanded, holding her hand to her chest in shock. "Who are you!? Where's Celestia?"

The god damn Princess of Love who could probably kill your libido with but a thought you moron!<< I thought, trying to guess if I could break the cuffs and make a run for it with Flutters and Pinks.

"I am Princess Cadence," the pink alicorn said, walking down the steps towards us. "Ruler of the Crystal Empire and Princess of Love. This is my husband, Prince Shining Armor."

I let out a hitched yelp as I felt Pinkies tongue wiggle it´s way into my folds. I had been so absorbed in panicking that I totally forgot that I was supposed to put on a show!

Pinkie, obviously not.

Well, if I was going to kiss my libido goodbye, why not make good use of it one last time? With that decision out of the way, I began to run my own tongue over Flutter's collar bone and her neck. Going by her delighted whimpers, she thought something similar.

°°°

[3rd Person POV]

Zinnia stared at the princess for a moment before the sounds of her pets reached her ears, a small smile finding it's way to her lips.

Well, at least they're still following orders,<< she thought before snapping her attention back to the matter at hand.

"Nice to meet you, Princess," she said, holding her hand out. She tucked the ends of her pet's leashes into the hem of her thong as Cadence took the offered hand, shaking it. "Now, as I asked before, where’s Celestia?"

"Why do you care?" Shining Armor snorted, arms crossed.

"I'm the newest Knight of the Realm, that's why!" Zinnia crossed her arms too, glaring at the stallion. "Zinnia's the name, and I was supposed to report back to Celestia about my mission to Appleoosa."

"Dressed like that!?"

"Yeah, what of it!?!"

"You look like a two-bit whore!!!"

"Shining Armor!"

Shining flinched, wilting back at the sound of his wife's disappointed tone.

"Shining, you know very well that Celestia has a 'free choice of uniform' policy. Now apologize."

"…'mm sorry..." the stallion muttered, glaring at the ground.

"'S fine," Zinnia replied.

"Besides Shining," Cadence continued, moving behind Zinnia and placing her hands on the Draconid's shoulders. "Prostitutes are a well-paid and respected union in Equestria."

"Hey, I'm no-" Zinnia cut herself off, eyes wide. "Wait, they are? Ooh, I know how I'm gonna spend my first paycheck!"

The sound of loud, muffled groaning reached all three's ears, and they turned to see Umbra lay on top of Fluttershy, face buried between the mare's breasts and Pinkie Pie lapped up a puddle of clear liquid from below her legs.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot," Zinnia said, walking over and patting Pinkie's hair. The pink mare let out a happy-sounding squeal, brushing up against Zinnia's leg. "You probably already know Pinks and Shy, but the girl in the valley is Umbra. She's visiting from another universe." Umbra raised her head enough to look at the married couple, smiling dopily around her ring-gag. "They're being my pets for a while. Can I speak to Celestia now?"

"Princess Celestia is mourning the fact that she lost her a sister to Darkrai," Shining stated. "But I would be happy to take your report on her behalf."

"Sure, whatever. Got a room where we can talk in private?"

Shining nodded, leading Zinnia through a side-door. Cadence watched them go before turning to the three on the ground, Umbra still panting heavily as Pinkie lapped away at Fluttershy's folds, the butter-yellow mare writhing and groaning from beneath the cross-dimensional visitor.

"So," the princess said, gaining their attention. Her magic flared for a moment, slamming the throne room doors and sealing them shut. Three pairs of eyes widened as the princess reached for the straps holding her dress up, dropping the gown around her ankles and revealing a set of red, heart-themed lingerie, the thin strings of her bra barely holding her gargantuan breasts in.

"How good are you?"

°°°

[Umbras POV]

Good merciful [insert name of every god and goddess of love and sex since the beginning of history], I must have died and now I'm trapped in limbo. A limbo filled with incredibly horny, incredibly skilled and insatiable demons disguised as anthropomorphic ponies! Oh and of course Zinnia. Can´t forget the head succubus herself.

And I was strangely okay with it!

In one moment, I was panting and drooling into Fluttershys cleavage (HA! eat your hearts out, all you filthy, neck-bearded casuals, I´m banging your waifu! Or at least someone resembling her) while a pink furred succubus was trying to give my womb a spring cleaning with her tongue, right in front of a royal couple and my sexy, sexy Mistress (note to self, should I ever be able to break out of this little "hell", take Zinnia with me as Mistress for my tower) and now I was alone with my two co-pets, wrecked by an intensive, pent up orgasm and now Cadence was about to take us out for a test drive?

If that was limbo, I couldn't wait for Hell itself!

So, as the Princess shed her dress, standing there before us in all her glory (Princess of Love, my ass, that mare was build like a damn Goddess of Sex!) and asked us 'how good we were', all I could do was give my best 'come hither and find out' look, as the gag still disabled my speech.

Cadence swaggered over, standing over us as she ran her hands down her sides, stopping at the loosely-tied knots on her huge, perfect-for-child-bearing hips, the only things holding that tiny heart-shaped thong on. With a sultry grin, she pulled the knots free, letting what I then found out was satin onto my face, the scent of the Princess's lust filling my nose. She then lowered herself onto Fluttershy' face (lucky little...), leaning back and letting the pegasus service her ass with her tongue before she placed her hand on the top of my head. She shot me a grin before pushing me into her slit.

The smell that hit me was intoxicating in its own right, the scent of strawberry meringue filling my nose and immediately taking the express elevator to my brain where it proceeded to usurp the control of any motoric and mental process. Well, it was not really usurping, seeing as my brain opened all doors, put down all weapons and put out the 'we welcome our new hormonal overlords' banners.

Cadence's flower was one of the most well cared for I ever had the delight to taste. It was one of those experience's that normally paved the way to either total transcendence or total corruption. She had a cute little crop of tri-colored pubic hair just above her slit, shaped into a gold, pink and purple heart. Her lower lips were just the right amount of puffy, not too much, not too little, just about right.

"Well, don´t let me wait~" the light pink succubus cooed and I heard a tingle, seeing the end of Pinkie's leash light up and, moments later, I felt Pinkie's face making contact with my own crotch, where the slightly chubby mare began to apply her breathtaking skills again as Cadence pulled her leash.

Sticking out my tongue, I traced the outer lines of her honey pot, working my way up to her little button. Oh it looked so perfectly suckable, damned be this gag as hot as it may be.

I made the best out of my situation and flicked Her Royal Heartbutt´s love button with my tongue. That had the desired effect as the pink alicorn threw her head back with a lusty moan, pulling Pinkies leash, which then pushed my face deeper between Cadence´s leg. Taking that as my hint, I circled the little nub of bubblegum pink flesh with my tongue before lapping at it like a cat would lap milk.

"Nngh, yeah," she grunted, a manner that was most unbecoming of a mare of her position, but oh well. "I can see why Zinnia likes you." I grazed her clit with my teeth, and when she looked down, I gave her my most pathetic looking sub look. Something along the lines of 'Please take the gag off Mistress'. Cadence giggled a little before her horn flared to life again, and I felt the gag unbuckle before it floated out of my mouth in a light blue glow. Before I could say anything, though, she pushed me roughly into her crotch again.

"Now suck, whore," the mare ordered, and I felt myself tingle slightly at her tone before I latched onto her nub, suckling and flicking my tongue against it, causing her to moan. "There's a good little slut..."

"Cadence!?"

"Hey, those are my pets! You could at least ask!"

Whu~? Since when was Mistress standing there... looking pretty miffed? 'I'm sorry Mistress!' was what I wanted to say, but all I managed where muffled sounds since I was still snuggly entrenched between Cadence´s thighs, my attempt to speak instead sending vibrations straight into one of the most sensitive parts of the female anatomy.

"Shiny, you've got to try this girl!" Cadence cried, shameless in her face-riding. "If she eats this good, imagine how she sucks!"

"Amazingly," Zinnia provided, and I felt something stroking my backside. "And her pussy is like a velveteen vice. But I would appreciate it if you asked before using my toys." She removed her hand for a moment only to slap in across my left cheek, making me scream into Cadence, which in turn made her groan in appreciation. "The last person who didn't is probably still removing himself from the wall. I'll let you finish, but if Shining wants anything it'll have to be me."

Since Mistress now officially had given her consent that she was not angry (which made my heart flutter for different reasons) I proceeded in munching the royal carpet and now that my mouth was free, I could do it so much better. At first I brushed my lips along Cadence´s slit before I slowly opened my mouth, making sure never to lose contact until I more or less sealed the royal cunny with my mouth, allowing me to use almost my whole tongue to go pussy spelunking.

From behind me, Pinkie was going at it with growing fervor, alternatively attacking my slit and my rosebud, causing me to shiver and made me moan into Cadence. From underneath me, I felt Fluttershy's pillows press against me, her nipples hard enough to cut glass. Her breath was hitched to, guess she was into face-sitting. Always the quiet ones.

I caressed the silky depths of Cadence´s love tunnel with all the diligence I could muster, switching between rotating my tongue, lapping and the classic of course, drawing the ABC. From the amounts of sweet, fragrant juices that I earned, I would have guessed I did a good job.

"Uuhh yesss~," Cadence moaned in a voice that could probably melt solid steel on the spot "That’s it, little slut, service your Princess!" while her hips began to buck forward in her craving for sweet, sweet release.

Was it wrong that her demeaning talking alone almost made my dam burst?

From under her plush rear, Fluttershy whimpered, muffled by the royal booty but sounding like she was in total bliss while Pinkie was focusing her tongues attention completely on my ass now. Strangely enough, it felt nearly better than having her plunder my love grotto even though I never considered myself much of an 'ass-girl'.

Again, Fluttershy whimpered, and this time I could feel her own hips starting to buck forwards. Her own honey pot was probably screaming for some attention. Pausing my ministration to Cadence for a moment, I looked up, never removing my mouth though, and my wispy eyes met Cadence´s violet orbs. Lust was sparkling in them. For a moment we just looked at each other, she questioningly, I submissively, until once again, Fluttershy made herself noticeable, this time with Pinkie joining shortly after.

Cadence´s features softened a bit as she finally noticed her toy's distress. "Well, this won´t do. You diligent little sluts are serving me so well, I think you have earned yourself a little something." she said, the dominant and demeaning tone returning.

Her horn lit up and I felt Pinkie gasp into me (nearly did it for me) and Fluttershy suddenly going stiff as a board only to nearly melt under me like putty, mewling happily into Cadence´s ass.

"Just a little spell for lonely nights." the ~~Princess of Love~~ Goddess of Sex explained once again, while she pushed me into her crotch "Now finish me whore and maybe I allow you to lick me clean afterwards!"

Hasbro so gave you the wrong field of work!<< I thought and moaned into Cadence, which in turn caused her to arch back, adding more pressure on Fluttershy (not that she seemed to mind) and pulling Pinkie with her leash more into me.

"Oh Faust above, I´m close! Don´t you dare stop now sluts!" Cadence rasped out with a voice that would have made every professional seductress every shade of green with envy.

I took that as my hint to all-out attack her love tunnel, arching my tongue upwards in search for the mystical little spot that was the bane and the blessing of every lover in history. I did not know if I had been plain lucky, if it had been my experience and years of searching for myself or if it was the fact that I was servicing the incarnation of love herself but my tongues tip found a slightly rough bump in the otherwise smooth walls of Cadence´s pussy and immediately I knew I had hit gold!

As soon as I pushed into her G-Spot, I heard a loud 'phoopmf' and a few light pink feathers floated all around us as the alicorns wings sprung open in a display of pure sexual bliss.

"Ohhhh yeeeessss~," Cadence half yelled, half moaned out "Watch me Shiny, watch me cum, being eaten out by these dirty, little whores!"

Wow lady, deep waters hn?

That was all the warning I ever got because right after that, I was nearly drowned in Cadence´s fragrant juices. I took all of the strawberry flavored liquid into my mouth I could manage, swallowing without being able to relish in the flavor for longer than a second in order not to drown, seeing as Cadence pressed me against her cooch, all but gluing my into place.

Now, if some women were squirters, Cadence was a flooder. I rarely use biblical stuff but I think I got a wee little glimpse on how all the people must have felt who did not got a ticket to Noah´s private little fun cruise in time.

Behind me and under me, I felt Pinkie and Flutters tense up too, just in time as my own orgasm kicked in. In the blink of an eye, we turned from four individuals into a single screaming, moaning and writing heap of endorphin saturated flesh.

We rode out our orgasm, grinding, hip bucking and in my case nearly drowning until we all collapsed, with exception of Fluttershy who was on the ground since the beginning.

Afterwards, Cadence carefully climbed of Fluttershy, the yellow mares face nearly as drenched as mine, the dopiest smile gracing her muzzle. A light blue aura enveloped all three of us and neatly arranged us on and around a positively glowing Cadence, Fluttershy in the alicorns left arm and her head snuggly on Cadence left breast, Pinkie in her right, occupying Cadence´s right fun pillow and I myself was laid onto Cadence´s smooth stomach.

"Oh that was wonderful," the Princess purred out, while some random flecks of magic danced along her horn "Thank you girls, I really needed that release. Taking care of auntie Celestia´s daily regime can be taxing, especially now, with those attacks." She said, her voice now sweet and gentle while she petted a gently snoring Fluttershys mane.

"…" I was about to say 'You’re welcome' as suddenly the trice damned ring-gag flew back into my mouth and the latch clicked behind my head.

"Ah, nah, nah," the pink she-devil tutted, wagging a finger at me "We do not want your Mistress to get angry again, do we?" she asked with a smile so sweet and perverse, I suddenly asked myself how Cadence here would look in my armor.

°°°

[Zinnia's POV]

"Well, Shiny?" I asked, stepping around the pile of writhing, sex-crazed bodies. I need Cadence's contact info. "Whad'ya say? Want me to help you with you're friend?"

The stallion just stood there, staring dumbly at his wife and my pets. I sighed, moving behind him unnoticed, and wrapped my arms around his middle, breasts pressed against back. I giggled at his reaction, going rigid, and I slid my hand slowly down his body before grabbing the bulge in his pants.

"C'mon Shiny," I whispered, stroking him through the fabric. "Why should they have all the fun?"

"B-but..." he stammered, staring at the head between Cadence's legs. "I-I'm married..."

"So?" My thumbs hooked into his waistband. "She clearly doesn’t mind."

With that, I tugged his pants down, underwear quickly following suit and allowing an impressive six-and-a-half inched horsecock to spring up. I licked my lips, wrapping my fingers around his length and stroking it lightly, eliciting a light groan as a tiny blob of precum leaked out. I giggled, moving around so that I was kneeling in front of the stallion.

"Why Shining, how long has she been keeping you like this?" I asked, running my tongue across his tip. He visibly shuddered, as I asked, running my tongue across his tip. He visibly shuddered, hands resting themselves on my head and gripping my hair. "Wow, sensitive?""

"Sh-shut up..." the stallion whispered. I was about to speak again, but the moment my mouth opened he shoved himself into my mouth, tip pushing against the back of my throat. "Shut up and blow me, you bucking whore!"

Wow, talk about changing your mind. I didn't mind, though, swallowing the cock hungrily and just letting the stallion face-fuck me. As much as I like to assert my dominance over my partners, it was nice to just lay back and let someone else ravage you every now and then. I stayed there for a time, savoring Shining's blueberry taste, before the need for oxygen made me tap on his thigh. He let me go, and I took deep, greedy breaths of air before something pushed me to the ground.

"Hey!" I cried, turning back only for Shining to push my face to the floor again. The fuck?

"I said shut up!" the stallion roared, using his other hand to pull my thong down to my ankles before pushing against my folds. I grinned against the polished marble.

"Oh, are you doing something back there?" I asked. This'll feel so much better if he's angry. He'll pound me that much harder! "I didn't notice."

That did it.

"Oh, you little." He rammed into me, causing me to cry out in both pain and pleasure. "Bucking." He pulled back, thrusting again twice as hard. "Bitch!" He started thrusting harder, faster, deeper, with me crying out every time. Tears ran down my face from the feeling of six and a half inches of angry stallion meat ravaging my walls, throbbing with his heartbeat, his balls slapping my clit. He grunted, grabbing my hair and pulling me up.

It was then that I noticed how much taller than me he was.

Now, I'm not that tall to begin with, roughly five foot even. So I reasoned that Shining Armor, purely from the fact that he I wasn’t touching the floor when at the base of his dick, was easily six feet tall, at least.

Shining wrapped his free arm around my mid-section, moving the other to grip my left breast, the roughness causing my milk to squirt out. He then turned us around, slamming into me as we watched Umbra, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie servicing his wife.

"Watch me Shiny, watch me cum, being eaten out by these dirty, little whores!"

Wow, Cadence was a kinky little slut, wasn't she?

"Oh, sweet Celestia, that's hot." Shining muttered in my ear. I smiled, reaching back and caressing his head.

"You like watching your wife banging someone else, huh?" I asked, and Shining responded by fucking me a little harder. "Ah, yes! Get mad, you glorious bastard! My pets just made your wife cum! It's my fault! I brought them here!" With every sentence, he fucked me harder, gripping my hips and slamming me down on his shaft. "My pets, Shining! My sexy little pets!" He roared in anger, throwing me to the floor and repositioning himself when he slipped out. When I felt him press against my ass, a shiver went up my spine, and soon after he slammed through any resistance and hilted himself.

"My, my, Shiny," a soft, seductive voice rang out, and I managed to look up enough to see Cadence stood there, completely nude, with three leashes in her hand. I looked down and saw my pets around her feet. I met Umbra's eyes, her expression a mix of post coital bliss, mild annoyance and a glimmer that you would normally only find in the eyes of a eager puppy when it had done something right and was waiting for praise. "You'll need to treat me to some of that later tonight."

That seemed to push the stallion over the edge, and I must admit, it did the same for me. I felt my walls shudder, clamping down on Shining Armor as he released his load deep inside of me. We stayed there for a moment, frozen in pleasure, my mouth open wide in a silent scream.

°°°

[Umbra's POV]

After Cadence had decided that we'd had enough snuggle time, she stood up, waking Fluttershy in the process. She then took all our leashes and gave a little tug, accompanied by a small smirk as she walked us over to where Zinnia and Shining were going at it.

I just caught how the Unicorn was plowing into Zinnia not unlike a jackhammer, which made me slightly wince.

Cadence on the other hand seemed delighted at least as she said "My, my Shiny. You´ll need to treat me to some of that later tonight."

While she said that my eyes met Zinnias and I could not help it but the feel my expression shift to one of... want for the lack of better words. Want for... praise. For being a good little pet.

Shining Armor and Zinnia my Mistress came just seconds later, Mistress´ face a mask of bliss with her mouth open in a voiceless scream, sweat glistening on her face like little pearls.

That face, her face, it was nearly enough to make me tug at my leash so I could reach her and lick the sweat off of her smooth skin, to mash my lips against hers, to taste her.

In short, she was driving me wild!

Pinkie, it seemed, was enjoying the show too, because I noticed her wide, sparkling eyes and her slight up and down bobbing which made her knockers bounce almost hypnotically.

Fluttershy for her part, seemed content with simply brushing herself against Cadence´s leg, imitating a cat. She even did the little mewls, for Dark's sake!

Mistress collapsed not long later, tongue hanging out with a look of bliss on her face. She reached her hand out towards me, beckoning me close, and I felt Cadence drop my leash before I crawled over.

"You..." Mistress breathed, cupping my face. "You're... a good... pet..." With that, she pulled me down, pushing her lips against mine.

Those four words made my heart flutter, no, fuck that, they turned it into the lovechild of Mothra and Godzilla. And then Mistress kissed me!

I met her lips hungrily, leaning in and savoring every little bit of it, burning the taste into my mind.

I felt so happy... so warm... and safe...

Mistress pulled away after a while, and I let out a whine of disappointment. She grinned at me, caressing my cheek again.

"Not to worry, my pet," she cooed, pulling herself to her feet. Cum dribbled down her leg and I leaned in and licked it off without thinking. "We'll have plenty more fun later."

"Good. Remember that report, okay?" Mistress took my leash, helping me to stand with a chuckle. "Come along now pets, I'm taking you home."

At that, I visibly perked up. I even gave the possibility a thought to use an Illusion spell to gain a tail to wag with, but decided against. For now. When I turned to my fellow pets, however, I saw hesitant looks on their faces. Mistress seemed to see this too, removing their gags so they could speak (even mine).

"A-actually, er, Mistress," Fluttershy stuttered, "W-we..."

"We need to get home," Pinkie finished with a sad tone. "It's been fun, but..."

"No, no," Mistress said with a smile. "You've got your own lives. Just do one more thing for me?" She paused, waiting for them to nod before continuing. "Wear your outfits under your clothes, then show Twilight when you see her. Take a picture of her face."

Mistress removed their handcuffs when they agreed, placing them in her bag and returning their clothes to them.

After they had put them back on, I used the opportunity to give each of them a hug (as much as I could with my arms cuffed behind my back, that is) and a peck on the cheek. "It was really nice to have met you girls," I gave Fluttershy an extra side glance combined with a smile so that she'd not shrivel up like an unwatered flower "I hope we see each other again."

Then I bowed to the royal couple, just a little bit. "It was an honor and a pleasure, Princess Mi Amore, Sir Shining."

"The pleasure was all mine," Cadence replied, pulling her dress back on. "I do so hope your Mistress allows me to use you again in the future."

With a little pride welling up in my chest, I allowed myself to shoot Shining a smirk. Mistress saw, though, and before I could say anything she'd strapped the gag on again.

Well, back to drooling on my own titties.

"Now now, pet," Mistress said, tutting. She patted my ass slightly. "No antagonizing the Prince, he might be using you too." She then grabbed my leash, turning to the door. Fluttershy and Pinkie had already left. "Now, to my home!"

"Uh, Zinnia?" Cadence said, gaining Mistress's attention. "Not that the view isn't nice, but you've still got your panties around your ankle."

"Oh, I do? Oops." Quickly pulling the panties up, making sure to pull them so that they slipped right up in her ass, she turned back to the door. "Thanks honey. Later!"

Again, I was paraded through the castle and Canterlot, this time reeking of sex, causing even more excitement dripping down my legs. Mistress lead me to a large, public park, walking along the most populated paths. She brought me in front of her, reaching around and pinching my nipples the entire time, and whenever someone asked she allowed them to cop a feel. If they didn't... well, the park had lakes.

Before long we'd reached a cave opening in the mountainside, hidden from view by a line of hedges. A small wooden door was fitted into the stone, the same symbol as my nipple pasties etched into it's surface.

"Welcome to my humble abode, pet," Mistress said, pushing the door open. She stopped me as I went to walk in, though, covering me with the cloak she had been wearing when she first summoned me over my shoulders, pulling it closed. She then pulled the gag from my mouth, tucking it back into her bag.

"Why've you covered me, Mistress?" I asked.

"Because unlike the public, I care about what the people in there think. And I don't want my son asking why it's okay for a lady to walk around with her ta-tas out when I don't want him getting the wrong idea."

Nodding I gave a smile after working a kink out of my jaw from wearing the gag. "I understand Mistress, I´ll be on my best behavior. My best family behavior. I am good with children."

Hmm, the smell of Mistress' cloak...

"Good girl. Now," she stepped through the door, still gripping my leash. "Time to meet to family! Be warned, there is a very large Noivern upstairs. And she can turn into a Noibat to move about, so..."

Mistress lead me through a sloped hallway, climbing up the mountain before we came into a slightly wider, carpeted hall with a series of doors on either side.

"Here we have the shoe cupboard, coat closet, cleaning closet, and a few empty rooms," Mistress said, gesturing to each room as we went. I slipped my sandals off, and Mistress placed them in the shoe cupboard for me. She then lead me through a door at the end of the corridor, and we came out into a large, hangar-like chamber with what looked like a large metal door over what was once an opening. "This is Hangar Two, otherwise known as the lounge." I noticed a large couch in the center of the room, though there was no TV on the coffee table in front of it. "Yeah, I don't spend a lot of time in here"

A green-coated Pegasus with dark red hair walked in, jumping when she saw us.

"Oh, Zinnia!" she cried, and for some reason I felt a pang of jealousy. "When did you get back? I just put Stryker to bed."

"Oh, good, that means my pet can stop hiding her beautiful self." She reached out and ripped the cloak from my body, revealing my sex-ready body to the mare. "This is Umbra, a Displaced I summoned. She's amazing at sex."

And cue the negative-blush again. "Th-thank you Mistress. I´m glad I can satisfy you." I gave my best Fluttershy.

"Oh, and I got back to Canterlot earlier today. We've been at the castle for a while."

Fucking the day away.<< I mentally added.

"Oh, okay," the Pegasus muttered, a huge blush on her face. She seemed fascinated with my outfit, which I smiled at. "I-I just started making myself some dinner. You guys want anything?"

"Want something other than tacos, Umbra?" Mistress asked.

My stomach decided that moment that he couldn't wait any longer, and now that the adrenaline from our little 'session' had faded I actually felt pretty starved. For real food!

"Yes please, Mistress. Maybe something more meatier? And creamier?" I could not help myself. That taco joke just screamed for that response.

"Oh, how nasty of me! I didn't even think to offer you any sausage!"

"Uh..." the mare just stared at us, clearly understanding our little banter if her full-mast wings were any indication. "I'll uh... put some more..."

"Chicken would be fine, that is, if you have some. I simply love poultry." I said, seeing the unsureness in the mare eyes, making sure to extra pronounce the word love, liking my lips. I even went as far as conjuring a set of cat ears on top of my head with an simple illusion to match my statement.

"Eep!"

And like that, the mare was gone, supposedly to the kitchen.

"That was Whiplash," Zinnia said with a chuckle. "Celestia assigned her as my personal assistant, but she's a great friend too. Great with Stryker when I have to go out fighting something."

"Oh," I dismissed the illusion spell "Did I go too far with her Mistress? She seemed interested though..."

"Oh no, I've been meaning to screw her at some point anyway, and I tease her all the time."

"Ah." I nodded as a thought occurred to me "Does this mean she is a future pet of Mistress? Maybe I can push her in the right direction? W-with your consent of course, Mistress!"

"No, she's not a pet," Mistress chuckled. "And you can drop that for now, okay? Right now you're a friend who came over for dinner."

"As you command... Mistress." I smirked only to be swatted with one of Zinnias wings over the head. "Totally worth it!"

"Feel free to try getting her to join us, though," she continued, leading me the way Whiplash had disappeared to. "She's shy with sex, though."

A small, purple and black bat-like creature fluttered in from the other direction, pausing when he saw me.

"Hey Sonar," Zinnia said with a small wave. "Don't mind Umbra, she's joining us for dinner." He paused, nodding slightly. "Yeah, we will be having desert after. How could you tell?" Another pause. "Yeah, I guess the outfit is a bit of a giveaway.”

"Not to mention the smell Zi." I tapped my nose for emphasis. "Come to think, I guess we fumed in half of Canterlot with Eaú the Cadence and Shining on our way to your house. Also, you never told me you had Pokemon telepathy. Does this work the same way as with me and my Minions?"

"Oh, no no no!" Zinnia said, laughing slightly. "It's not telepathy. I'm a Draconid, I can talk to Dragon-Types as though they were speaking English." She paused, wiping a tear from her eye. "I've been teaching Stryker to speak English, though, so I don't have to translate all his life."

"Wait, what? And there goes my theory that you are a smokin´ hot succubus. Well, at least the succubus part." I chuckled. "That is actually pretty thoughtful of you. You are a really great mom Zi."

"What told you anything else?" She paused, sniffing the air. I did the same, the smell of chicken, beef and... something else filling my nose. "Welp, food smells ready!"

"That was quick," I said, confused.

"Dragonfire oven. Makes food taste better and cooks it faster."

"Dragonfire oven eh? I must remember to ask Onyx to assist Wiener in the kitchen if it makes cooking that quick." At the questioning stare Zinnia gave me I explained "Onyx is a black dragoness I saved form a crazy Nazi Unicorn and his Griffin goons and Wiener is my personal Minion Cook. Don't ask how he got that name. I don't know."

"I was wondering why your cook was named after our mutually favorite toy, but since you told me not to ask, I'll go with the new thing you brought up. You had a Nazi Pony experience too? Mine was Blueblood making a Hitler speech against Pokemon while my son was in the room."

"My head-smith is called Welder and the fricken brood-master who also acts as the Minion Reaper is named Norbert." I deadpanned. "Yes, first contact with a pony and he wanted to dissect me to achieve Unicorn Supremacy like in the time of the three tribes , or so he told me. Then I kicked his head in."

"Good girl, stomp that shit out before it gets too bad. What was his name?"

"Crystal Flask, head of the CC-something, something with research. Also, I meet this guy named Wade, a shape-shifter. Swell guy, funny to tease. I suspect he is repressing his sexuality. Ah, I learned from his Twilight that Flask had a assistant named Dawn Delight, who he killed and faked a suicide notice for her parents because she dared to say her piece about dissecting living dragons for shit and giggles. So with killing him, I actually saved my version of Dawn Delight."

"I'll bring it up with Celestia when I see her. For now," she paused, pushing the kitchen door open. "For now, it's dinner time."

"Goody, I am starving." I took the kitchen in and located Whiplash standing on front of a steaming pot. "Well, that looks pretty good so far."

"Honey," Zinnia said, sounding amused. "Turn your head."

Sure enough, when I looked around, I saw a huge stone table covered in so much food. Roast chicken, steak, gammon, pork chops, mashed potatoes, carrots, peas, Yorkshire puddings, a massive slab of meat I can't tell what it was right now, and a huge gravy boat in the center. Whiplash then placed a loaf of fresh-looking bread and a slab of butter in the center, then four bowls on four plates, filling them with what looked like chili.

"Wow, that’s more hot meat on that table than in a whole locker room after a football match." I stated, a bit of drool glistening in the corner of my mouth.

"Yeah, Whiplash has been trying as much as she can since she had her first taste of meat," Zinnia said, taking her place at the table. I quickly took the seat closest to her. "And me and Sonar need a lot more anyway because we're dragons."

"Oh? So you corrupted the poor dear?" I said with played horror only to fall in a predatory smile, showing all my pearly whites. "I wonder how much more we could corrupt her together."

"A-actually," Whiplash stammered, eyeing my still-exposed breasts. "I-i tried some jerky she got from a guy called Jason and started eating meat in secret. Zinnia caught me one day, and I broke down in tears because meat isn't allowed in Pony culture." I gave her a look, and she quickly spouted out an explanation. "N-no, it's not illegal. Just frowned upon."

"I told her I was fine with it," Zinnia said around a mouth full of chili. "And since then this has been lunch."

"Ah, I see." I nodded and leaned a bit forward, giving Whiplash another good eye-full. "It always starts like this, a little something in secret. And then another thing, because it´s just a little thing and it wouldn't hurt anyone right?" I leaned back, to put some chicken on my plate "And before you know what's happened to you my dear, you're dancing naked under the full moon, to the fast beat of drums in the fire light in front of some weird idol at a heathen ceremony." I hummed as if reminiscing "Oh how I miss these little ceremonies. All those delectable, young, girls."

Whiplash sputtered something incomprehensible and blushed fiercely, even with her green coat. Her wings on the other hand, well, that girl had some wingspan, howhee.

"Sounds like fun," Zinnia said, taking a bite out of the mysterious meat. "Invite me to the next one?"

"Sure Zi. Same goes for you Whip, new flavors are always welcome." That said, I took a hearty bite from my chicken (okay, maybe I did it a tad more ferocious than I strictly needed to, but the wingthrob it earned was worth it).

"Hey, you ever tried Manticore?" Zinnia asked, holding out. "Here, have some."

"Sounds interesting." I leaned over and opened my mouth "Ahh~"

Zinnia took one look at me and grinned, biting into the meat herself and leaning over to pull me into a kiss, pushing it into my mouth and licking my lips on the way back.

I hummed into the kiss and accepted Zinnias little present. After she had pulled back, I carefully began to chew. It was interesting, definitely of the chewy sort, with an odd, wild-sih flavor. After I had made a little extra show out of swallowing, I licked my lips. "Not bad, not bad. Reminds me a bit of kangaroo."

"Never had it myself, but I'll take your word for it." She glanced to Whiplash, and I followed her gaze to find the mare frantically trying to push her wings down. "Oh dear, look what you've done! You'll need to fix that."

"Who, mói?" I pointed at myself before I 'saw' what I had done. A smile showed up on my lips. "Oh dear, I am ever so sorry Whiplash." I stood up and walked over to the mare, sitting down slightly behind her "You look so awfully tense. Here, let me help you with that." I leaned against her back, sure that she was able to feel my rock hard nipples even through her clothes and fur before I carefully applied both of my hands to the base where her wings grew out of her back, starting a light massage on the feathery appendances while breathing into her adorably twitching ear. "Soon all this nasty tension will be forgotten, I promise."

"A-aaaaaaaaahhhh!"

I leapt away from the mare, eyes wide. "What the hell!? What'd I do!?"

Zinnia looked from Whiplash's face to me, a smirk on her face. "You made her cum."

"What?... But I barely touched her... let alone... that doesn't even...!"

"P-pegasi wings..." Whiplash breathed, one hand on her chest. She looked around at me, and I swear I saw tiny hearts in her yellow eyes. "Pegasi wings are really sensitive, especially at the base. Unicorn horns are the same."

"Good to know," Zinnia said.

Suddenly something dawned on me, something that made me cringe. "Oh god and I touched Buebloods! Eeeewwwww!"

"He... didn't seem to react," Zinnia muttered around a mouthful of potatoes. "Like, at all."

"Some unicorns wear a thin cover that prevents any feeling in their horns," Whiplash explained. "Doesn't affect their magic, but it means nopony can beat them by grabbing their horn."

"Ah, so I won by threatening to cut it off then." I concluded. "Good to know that I don´t need to put my hand into scalding water now. On a lighter note, are you feeling a little bit better now Whip?"

"Y-yeah... can we just eat now?"

"Whiplash, honey, there's always gonna be sex stuff in your life as long as you live with me." Zinnia paused to eat some chiken. "May as well get used to it now."

I went back to my seat, but on the way I carefully brushed my fingers along one of Whiplash's ears. It twitched just like a dog´s or a cat´s. After sitting down again, I ate for a while in silence only to smile at the still blushing Whiplash again. "You know Whip, if you're interested I can always give you a proper massage later on. I can tell that you're at least interested in my outfit. I could wear it while I give you the massage." The whole while I brushed my foot along one of the mares legs under the table.

"Leave the poor dear alone, Umbra," Zinnia said. When she looked up and saw Whiplash's madly blushing face, telling her that I was still doing it, she sighed. "Pet, I asked you to stop."

Hearing Zinnia calling me Pet again, I retracted my foot post-haste. "I-Im sorry, I won´t do it again." I rushed out, lowering my head a bit "P-please forgive me Whiplash, Zinnia."

Damn that Dom tone, making me putty in Zinnias smooth hands!

"Good girl," she said, not looking up from her food. "You'll get a reward later. After punishment, of course."

"Y-yes, I understand." I meeped out, internally giddy.

"Wait, I'm confused," Whiplash said. "What’s going on?"

"Kinky bedroom dominatrix shit, Whip. You want in?"

"I w-would be happy to make up for my transgressions to you Whiplash." I offered meekly "That is, if you would let me."

Whiplash just sat there for a minute, staring slack-jawed.

"Close it or I use it, Whiplash," Zinnia said, pulling out a familiar little toy. "Your choice."

At the sight of the toy, I felt my loins heaten up again and I had to audibly swallow in order not to drool.

"U-uuh..."

°°°

[Twenty minutes later, Zinnia's bedroom]

I was sat at the end of Mistress's bed, the purple satin sheets feeling incredibly soft against my skin. Mistress had taken Whiplash into her en suite, ordering me to prepare myself while she got the mare ready. I'd been soaked all day, though, so outside of just taking my thong off there wasn't much to prepare.

Mistress appeared in the doorway a moment later, wearing nothing but a pair of purple stockings, a matching garter belt, and purple latex gloves. Milk was already leaking from her nipples, and I drooled at the thought of tasting her sweet mama juice again.

"May I introduce," Mistress started, moving to the side of the door and holding her arm out. "In her debut to the Zinnia Sex Scene, Mistress Whiplash!"

Hearing that, I straightened myself, trying to look more presentable for my new Mistress. Even though Zinnia would always be my true Mistress, I had promised to make up for my bad behavior and Hell, I would. Even if just for a night.

Whiplash stepped around the door, and I swear I dislocated my jaw. The shy, drawn-in mare from the dinner table was gone. In her place stood a Pegasus dressed in an incredibly short black skirt, see-through white stockings, black high heels, a white shirt that looked three sizes too small with the top three buttons undone and a purple vest. A pair of glasses sat on her nose, her mane tied back in a ponytail. A large wooden meter-rule was tucked under her arm.

"You've been a bad girl," she moaned, and I almost lost it then. "So now, you've got detention."

Holy almighty tits of Dibella, she's a sexy teacher dom! I´ve seen enough porn to know where this was going and I felt myself already quiver in anticipation. But for now, I had to play my part to the script. So I sat there, after re-hinging my jaw and simply looked guilty instead of hopelessly turned on.

"You're not even wearing your uniform!" Miss Whiplash cried, before reaching back into the bathroom and throwing a pile of clothes at me. "Get in there and change, young lady!"

"Yes ma´am!" I blurted out, the picture book example of a distressed school girl, took the pile of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. Once in there, I took a good look at my new outfit. A tiny grey skirt that, when I pulled it on, barely covered half of my ass, leaving my slit fully exposed. A pair of white panties was provided, though, with light blue horizontal stripes... wait a minute, these were mine! I shrugged, pulling them on under the skirt and making sure I had a bit of camel toe. Next came the bra, the pattern matching my panties but the coverage barely even existant. It was literally a set of strings, with tiny little triangles clearly meant to cover my nipples and nothing else. I pulled the shirt on soon after, the fabric very light, and very see-through. It was even tight, exposing my rock-hard nipples. And finally, the bow.

God dammit there's a bow.

Well, it's more a piece of purple ribbon, but it's clearly meant to be a bow. So I tied my hair into a side-ponytail, leaving plenty of ribbon hanging free.

When I opened the door again, Zinnia had changed clothes again, this time wearing identical clothes to me but with a little purple tie around her neck. And she only had the bottom three buttons of her shirt done up, giving her a look not unlike Rangiku Matsumoto used to wear hers in Bleach.

"Oh, that's much better, don't you think Zinnia?" Miss Whip cooed, and I immediately tensed up when I realized she was behind me.

"Yes, Miss Whip," Zinnia replied, sashaying over to me. She flipped my skirt up and sneered, not unlike a typical high... school... bully...

Oh shit, it's that kinda roleplay?

"What ridiculous panties," Zinnia said, sneering again. She then turned around, bending over and pulling her skirt up, revealing her purple, semi-see through thong. And was that a dick? "These are the panties you wear when you wanna be popular!"

"B-but I think i-it´s cute..." I meeped out, gasping when I felt something tapping the inside of my leg.

"Cuteness doesn't factor in at our school, Umbra," Miss Whip said, sliding her ruler up my thigh until it just barely brushed my lips. "Guys only like the girls who put out, my dear."

"B-but i-if a b-boy only... l-likes me when I.... No. T-that is lewd!" I played surprise and appall, squirming at bit on the spot. "He-he w-wouldn´t like me... only my... b-body..."

"You see," Miss Whip sighed. "That's why you're so unpopular! Instead of fucking, you're thinking!" I felt something warm poke my thigh.

"Just give in," Zinnia said, grabbing the sides of my head kissing me, tongue and all. I just stood there, acting shocked. "Lie on your back and let someone fuck some sense out of you!"

I actually felt compelled to just do that, but that would be breaking character, so instead I brought my hand up to my mouth, eyes wide with played horror and let out a lout "Kyaaa~", while trying to get away from Zinnia and Miss Whip, only to stumble and land on all fours which left my ass up in the air and on display.

"You cannot leave until your detention is over!" Miss Whip bellowed, and a moment later something hard hit me on the ass, causing me to let of another "Kyaa!"

"Oh, can I use her Miss Whip?" Zinnia asked. "Can I?"

"But of course, my dear!" Miss Whip replied, and a moment later Zinnia's legs appeared in front of me. I felt my hair being pulled lightly and pushed myself to my hands, coming face-to-cock with Zinnia's crotch. "She needs to learn her lesson, after all."

"Wha-what is this?..." I stammered out, managing to even choke out some fake tears. "W-what do you me-guhrk!"

Zinnia had taken her chance to ram her cock in my mouth, straight down my throat, choking me slightly.

"What Miss Whip means," she said, pulling out enough to let me get some air. "Is that we're gonna teach you how to be popular!" She then rammed back in, once more cutting off my air.

"Today's lesson is an Oral assessment," the mare provided, and from what little I could see with Zinnia blocking my view, Miss Whip stood there, gently stroking a massive green horsecock.

That moment, I was really a wee bit scared. Whip was sporting a true monster! So I went and tried to struggle a bit against Zinnias grip. Not much, just to stay in character.

"Enough!" Miss Whip barked, bringing her ruler down hard on my pussy. I shrieked at the feeling, and I heard Zinnia groan at the vibrations I sent through her.

"Do that again Miss!" Zinnia cried, throwing her head back. No, don't! "I think she liked it!"

I tried to shake my head but to no avail. Zinnias hands and her throbbing erection in my throat kept me firmly in place. The ruler came down again without warning, and once again I screamed into the throat-stuffer that was Zinnia's cock. This time, my eyes rolled back a little and I felt the unmistakable trickle of arousal running down my legs. She started thrusting, and I felt Miss Whip's soft fingers running up my thigh, collecting my juice.

"So you are a slut," she said, and I looked up when Zinnia moaned to see Miss Whip's fingers in her mouth, presumably feeding her my fluids. "There's hope for you yet."

I willed a few more tears out of my eyes, pleased that I managed to actually produce a halfway steady flow while I tried to convey how much "horror" and "disgust" I was feeling with my eyes.

"MPH!" I cried, and Zinnia groaned again. "MPH MMMM!"

"That's it, dear!" Miss Whip said, joy in her voice. "Speak with your mouth full! The boys love that!"

I pinched my eyes closed, trying to avert my face, to protect it from being raped. "HHmmhPH!"

"Oooh, God!" Zinnia moaned. "Miss, I-i'm cumming!"

"Remember the lesson plan, Zinnia!" Miss Whip replied, and soon Zinnia had pulled herself out of my throat, leaving me coughing and spluttering and she jerked herself. I felt my hair being grabbed as Miss Whip forcefully moved my face up, right into Zinnia's line of fire.

"We heard you like to go to the spa," Miss said, before running her tongue up my cheek. "So we thought we'd give you a facial!"

With that, Zinnia let loose, stream after stream of her thick, stringy cum splattering on my face, covering my eye and going up my nose. Miss grabbed my jaw, forcing it open for Zinnia to fire a load into, the salty taste covering my tongue.

"N-no... p-please..." I whimpered as Zinnias seed splattered against my face.

"What's that?" Miss asked, leaning in and licking a string of cum from my face. She hummed at the taste. "I must say, Zinnia has a wonderful blend, don't you think?"

My answer was a chocked sob.

"Now don't be that way," Miss tutted, and I suddenly felt her ruler pressing into my pussy again, though this time slowly, and with more force. "You'll hurt poor Zinnia's feelings. And we don't want to do that, do we?"

I gasped sharply as I felt the ruler sink into my wet folds. "M-miss... p-please... pl-please no...." I stammered but my mind was singing a totally different song, something like 'Put that huge meat pole of yours into me already and spitroast me!'

"I think you're ready for your final exam," Miss said, standing and moving in front of me. That monstrous, throbbing shaft of hers stood proud, the flared tip pushing at my lips. I tried to keep them closed, keeping up character, but eventually I had to cave and just opened as wide as I could, allowing Miss to shove her length into my maw. She was so much bigger than Zinnia though, and she reached the back of my throat before I even reached her medial ring!

Oh god, this thing was going to break me! I of course knew that all I had to do was give the signal, saying 'Mayday' or in case my mouth was occupied, tap my partner’s hip three times, so there was at least that safety net.

"Swallow, Umbra," Miss cooed, and I did my best to bring the monster further in, reaching just past her medial ring before I had to stop. Miss saw this and tutted. "Now this won't do at all, my dear. If you can't take the whole thing, I'm afraid you get an 'F'."

"You'll have to keep taking the test until you pass," Zinnia whispered in my ear, leaning over my back, and I shuddered when her member slipped between my legs, brushing against my nethers. Her breasts pressed against my back, and I felt a small wet patch growing.

"Perhaps a better angle is needed," Miss muttered, and before I knew it she had pulled out of my mouth, and Zinnia had thrown me on the bed on my back with my head hanging off the edge. Miss Whip wasted no time in forcing herself back down my throat, and I swallowed on instinct as soon as she reached the back, allowing her to push further in. The new angle, of course, meant that there was no curve in my throat, allowing Miss Whip to hilt herself on the first thrust.

"Ooooh, yeeeeeeeeeessss~" she moaned, her dick throbbing. "This is much better, Umbra. You may even get an A!"

"Mii~iss!" I heard Zinnia moan. "I wanna use her too! I'm still so ha~ard!"

Wow was all I could think, for several reasons. One, I managed to totally suppress my gag reflex. Two, I dared to say that this was by far the biggest thing I ever had thrust into me (horsecock, duh!) and three, great god, this was hot!

I felt Miss Whip's hot meat pulsating with her heartbeat, filling my mouth and throat, expanding it to almost painful degrees and after a few torturous seconds she pulled back far enough to allow me greedily take in as much air as I could.

"Be patient, Zinnia," Miss Whip groaned, sliding back in a little faster than last time. "She must pass her test first, you know that."

"But Mi~iss!" >>Dammit woman, just let her fuck me! I don´t care for an 'A', right now, I want the 'D'!<<

"Well," Miss cooed. I could almost hear the smirk on her voice. "There's always me."

My eyes went wide as I heard that and I almost, almost broke character to scream my objection, to scream my claim on that glorious piece of meat, maybe even use a little spell. Nothing lethal, just hella painful. It would not had needed much.

But in my head, there was this little voice which represented my unconditional submissive side, that reminded me that I had promised not only Whiplash but first and foremost Mistress to make up for my behavior during dinner and another voice, who was just a tiny bit louder because she dwelled in one of the farthest parts of my sub-consciousness and I had not heard her in years, told me that I simply didn't want to disappoint Zinnia.

Not Mistress, but Zinnia.

God damnit woman, what have you done to me?

"Miss Whip!" Zinnia cried in fake-shock before I saw her saunter past out of the corner of my eye. Lithe fingers appeared just above the base of Miss's throbbing, me-covered shaft. "It'd be my..." She paused, and a moment later I felt Miss lurch forward in my throat, bringing slight, real, tears to my eyes. "Pleasure."

"HHHMMPFFFF!" I yelped around the massive piece of meat that filled my whole throat all the way down (well, at least it felt like that), my hands gripping the bed sheets and my body arched upwards on its own for a second, causing the cock in my throat to slightly bend with it before I was able to level myself again.

Through a veil of tears, I could see Zinnias legs behind Miss Whip´s.

"Ooh, Zinnia!" Miss moaned, and I felt a pang of... something in my chest before Miss Whip thrusted into me again.

God, what was that irritating feeling? Whatever it was, I didn´t like it, so I decided to drown it in hormonal ecstasy a.k.a, orgasms.

Still somewhat keeping to my role, I began hesitantly to lick along Miss´s shaft, careful not to come off as too enthusiastic which, curiously, was in that moment no problem at all.

"Oh, I see you're learning," Miss said, thrusting faster and faster as she spoke. "Umph, Zinnia! Harder, girl, or I'll fail you!"

"Yes Miss!" Zinnia grunted, and again Miss started lurching, even during her thrusts.

I felt extremely conflicted in this moment. My need for air and the vague assumption that I might need my throat and everything connected to it later in my life versus the growing want for a belly full of warm, gooey spunk. Oh yeah and somewhere in between was a malicious little voice sugessting to "accidentally" bite down as hard as I could. Totally accidentally, in the throes of passion or in fear of suffocation, whatever sounded better.

The second party finally won the struggle under heavy use of weapon grade arguments like "Horsecock!", “Hottest thing happening to us in years!" and "Buckets of cum!", just barley before the third. The first party collectively went into the next closet to cry.

I began tentatively to move my head and licked a bit more courageous, partly because my role, partly because I was still pretty intimidated from the sheer scale of Miss Whips member.

Miss Whip let out a moan and I felt her whole body shudder. "Oouuuh~ yes, looks like we might still be able to make a popular student out of you Umbra. Keep that up, you hear?" she moaned out, tightening her grip on my head. "The same goes for you Zinnia, if you don´t give your all, you might end up like Umbra here. An uninteresting. Unattractive. Naïve. Unfucked! Wallflower!" Miss punctuated each word with a strong thrust down my throat, causing tears to flow freely over my face from the sheer sensation.

"Yes Miss, I´ll give my best!" Zinnia panted and resumed her own thrusting with new vigor, practically doubling the force of Miss´s own thrusts.

My mind was becoming hazy as the world seemingly shrunk to the size of the bedroom and the only constants where thrusting, moaning and violating my throat. This went on for what felt like hours, with Miss occasionally praising me of telling Zinnia to go faster/harder/deeper/etc. After a while, though, I felt Miss begin to slow down, eventually pulling out altogether, standing over me and stroking her massive shaft.

"It's time for the final part of your lesson, Umbra," Miss said, and Zinnia soon appeared at her side, also stroking herself. "Every slut needs a good facial, after all!"

With a weirdly groggy and/or tipsy feeling (I blame the lack of oxygen and maybe a slight concussion), I managed to turn myself around and climb off the bed on all fours, coming to a stop on my knees in front of Miss Whip and Zinnia, both now feverishly stroking their members. Silently and with half lidded eyes, I opened my mouth, letting my tongue lolling out slightly.

"Fffuuuuck!" Miss Whip groaned, and a moment later her thick, mucky seed shot out, splattering against my face and tongue, the slight taste of syrup greeting me. Another strand covered my right eye, forcing it closed just as Zinnia joined in. She blasted her seed right up my nose, the second shot staining my hair.

This carried on for a whole minute, the magically created cocks covering me with spurt after spurt of seed, before both women reached out, grabbing my head with one hand each. My eyes widened as much as they could with their cum coating as they pressed their still-shooting shafts together, trying to force as much of them into my mouth at the same time, making my cheeks bulge with the instant torrent of magic dragon-mare cum mix, my lips stretching in a way I never thought possible. I swallowed as much as I could, but the sheer volume caused some of it to shoot up and out of my nose and back out around their cocks, staining all three of us further. My eyes rolled up at the feeling, and I got the strange feeling I looked like I'd come straight out of a hentai flick.

"Oooh, sweet Celestia," Miss groaned, and I felt the streams slow down slightly. "That was the best orgasm ever!"

Oh god was I full, I think the last time I felt like this I drank a one and a half liter bottle coke in one go.

My mind was a hazy blur, my cheeks stung from being bloated with unholy amounts of sweet seed and I would probably sprinkle white flecks the next days when ever I sneezed but worst of all, my pussy was demanding attention like no tomorrow, my panties drenched with my juices.

"it h...ho ht?" I managed to 'ask' through my mouthful of meat, looking up at Miss Whip hopefully.

"Hmm?" Miss Whip pulled out of my mouth, her cock hanging limply by her leg. Zinnia soon followed suite, allowing me to more easily swallow what was left in my mouth before hungrily sucking in air. "What was that dear?"

"Did I do good Miss Whip?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Miss said with a playful tone, a hand on her chin. "What do you think, Zinnia? What grade does Umbra deserve?"

"I'm not sure you should ask me, Miss," Zinnia replied, running a finger along her still-hard shaft. Damn, that girl was insatiable! "I desperately want to give her a 'D'!" She popped the finger into her mouth, sucking it dry.

"A... a 'D'?" I stuttered "But... I... please... anything, let me..." Harder to think clear when you just want to jump the bone in front of you, let me tell you.

"Oh, Zinnia," Miss sighed with a smile. "Such a whore. Don't worry, I believe you deserve at least a 'B', my dear. And that is a passing grade."

My mouth felt oddly dry despite the earlier flooding as both of my hands developed a mind of their own and sneaked between my legs. As soon as my fingertips as much as grazed the sopping fabric, a needy whimper escaped my lips, my gaze transfixed on Zinnia's throbbing meat.

"I think that's enough punishment, then," Zinnia said, shedding her uniform. "I'm taking back control here, and now I have two pets!"

I watched as Zinnia reached over, gripping Whiplash's shaft before it gained a purple glow, slipping out of her pussy as the purple dildo.

"Now pets," Zi-… Mistress said as Whiplash knelt beside me, removing her clothes. I did the same, and soon we were both wearing nothing but our panties. "I'll need to name you so that I can tell you apart." She paused before smiling and placing a hand on my head. "You, pet, will be Slut." She looked to Whiplash. "And you'll be Whore."

"Yes, Mistress," Whore and I said.

"Now," Mistress cooed, caressing my cum-soaked face. "Since Slut here has endured so much, I believe she deserves a reward. Don't you, Whore?"

"Yes Mistress," Whore replied. "Might I suggest fucking her while I service her with my mouth, Mistress?"

"Good idea, Whore," Mistress said, pulling me up to my feet. "Would you like that, Slut?"

I nodded eagerly "Yes please, Mistress. Please use me." Lust and longing filed my voice. A bit of desperation too.

Whore lay down on the bed, opening her mouth wide and sticking her tongue out.

"Position yourself, Slut," Mistress said, and when I moved towards Whore, she smacked my ass, making me yelp. "Don't let her start, though."

I nodded, clambering over Whore until my nethers were directly over her face. I felt the bed shift slightly and Mistress's hands on my hips before my panties were pushed to the side. Mistress patted my ass lightly.

"Are you ready, Slut?" she asked, and I felt a prodding on my ass.

"Yes Mistress." I breathed, pushing myself slightly towards my Mistress´ alluring tip. "Please take me now."

"Well..." Mistress paused, pushing her tip in. "Since you asked so nicely..." She placed her hands on the small of my back. "Are you ready, Whore?"

"Yes, Mistress." Whore replied.

"Well okay then."

With that, Mistress pounded into my ass hard, pushing down and making my legs buckle so that I landed on Whore's face, her tongue slipping into my folds.

I threw my head back, mouth wide open and my own tongue lolling out of as my poor, tortured pussy finally got the attention she was craving, together with the heavenly fullness in my ass that was Mistress's glorious, throbbing cock.

"Oh sweet Darkness, yes!" I all but howled out as Mistress and Whore both at the same time hit one of my sweet spots, avoiding a crashing orgasm just by a hairs wide.

"Oh my," Mistress purred, pulling out to the tip. "We did get you worked up, didn't we Slut?" She slammed back in, the sound of our flesh smacking together ringing gloriously in my ears. Whore wrapped her arms around my legs, digging her fingers into my ass as she pushed her tongue deeper into me.

At this point any ability for coherent speech from my side took its hat, stamped it´s card and left the building. I gave mewls not unlike the sounds Fluttershy had produced as her face had served as the pillow for Cadence´s royal rump. Drool began to drip from my tongue and in combination with my panting and frantic hip movements, one could have come to the conclusion that somewhere far, faaaaar back in my family tree an Australopithecus had held an unholy matrimony with some kind of prehistoric dog.

Mistress leaned forwards, pressing her breasts against my back and pushing into me even deeper.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Slut?" she asked, and I just nodded in response. "But poor Whore is just lying there, left wanting." My eyes drifted down, spotting the glistening, green-furred lips just below me. "Shouldn't you rectify that, Slut? Don’t you think Whore deserves some thanks?"

I nodded dumbly, lowering my tongue to lap at Whore, who let out a sharp gasp before shoving her face deep between my thighs. That and Mistress's pounding, combined with the taste of kiwi from Whore's pussy, pushed me over the edge. I came, hard and fast, feeling my muscles tighten around Mistress's cock and Whore's tongue. Mistress groaned loudly, and a moment later large, powerful shots of her cum were filling my ass once again, all while Whore took the opportunity to lightly graze her teeth over my clit, sending me into another plain of pleasure entirely!

I froze in place as waves of pleasure wracked my entire body, divine sensations attacking my poor nervous system like rapid fire, threatening to fry my brain and turning it into literal mush.

As the spurts of Mistress inside my ass finally had ebbed away and the last wave of pleasure run out, my muscles softened up again and I felt suddenly so incredible sleepy.

Strong but gentle hands caught me before I could unceremoniously drop like a wet potato bag and guided me towards the waiting mattress, laying me down in a comfortable way.

As my eyelids began to drop and Morpheus, one of my oldest and dearest friends hit me dead on with a can of sleepy time, I heard someone mumble four little words.

"I love you Zi..."

Funny that it sounded like my own voice, but all musings were cut of as sweet, sweet slumber encompassed me.

Author's Note

All abord!

Next part of the crossover mini arc with The Emerald Nightinales Delta Guardian

9. Delta Overlady part II (Smut)

-9. Delta Overlady part II –

When I woke up, I felt a lot of different things.

I felt sticky.

Strangely at peace.

Content.

But most of all, sore in all the right ways.

Lifting my head just a bit, I tried and looked around, still a bit sleep drunken. I was still in Zinnias bedroom, curled up on her smooth bed sheets. The door was open by a crack, allowing light to flow in and illuminate the room that was smelling like a, well, harbor brothel at the evening when all the sailors got their money. I took a deep breath and smiled.

A soft snoring caught my attention and I discovered Whiplash. The Pegasus was laying an arm’s length away from me on her stomach, her head slightly turned towards me. An ear-to-ear smile was etched into her muzzle (which was flaky looking thanks to the bodily fluids of certain persons), her wings and tail slightly twitching now and then.

I smiled to myself and carefully, not the wake sleeping beauty, shimmied out of the bed and made my way over to the bathroom. As much I as loved the feeling of getting a face full, the morning after it began to itch like hell. Besides I didn't want Zinnia´s son having to ask why the strange lady had funny smelling, white stuff plastered all over her.

Slowly, I closed the door behind me and striped out of my panty. The garment was in as much a dire need of cleansing as me. After a short search for a towel, I stepped into the shower. It was a nice, old fashioned thing not unlike something you sometimes would find in your Granny´s bath. After another while, I had figured the perfect water temperature out and let the soothing liquid pour down upon me, soaking me completely.

"Hmhmhm, the devil had invented schnapps. So what? So what?" I began singing softly as I scrubbed the remains of last night's session of my skin.

"Hip hip hurray, come raise your glass, the devil can´t get all of us. Hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray, we drink until our final day!"

I couldn't help it but sing, the warm feeling in my chest making it all but impossible not to. I helped myself with a small amount of hair shampoo, which smelled a lot like Zinnia or better Zinnia smelled a lot like it. Spicy, with a hint of smoke. Well, the smoke part came from herself, I suspected, being a half dragon, draconid, whatever. She had wings and could breathe fire!

"Last night I felt so heroic. So what? So what? Now all I can is ask who is that woman in the mirror and why does she look so sick?"

I rinsed my hair, turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Reaching for the towel I hummed the refrain again, starting to dry myself as I stepped in front of the washing basin and took a look into the mirror. I was greeted by a broadly smiling, almost glowing me. My wet hair hung into my face not unlike leafless willow twigs but the pools of light that were my eyes were alight like headlights despite the early (I suspected) morning hours.

"Hip hip hurray, come raise your glass, we´re swigging and we are still here. Hip hip hurray, come raise your glass, we´re swigging and we are still here." I sung, my voice slowly raising as the warmth in my chest began to feel more intense. For whatever reason I felt like hugging the world.

"The devil had invented schnapps. So what? So what? Who was is that has brought me here? So what? So what? My head will never fit back through the door So what? So what? Who for Pete´s sake is that woman at who's boobs I am starring at? "

My voice rose another pitch as my mouth morphed into a gleeful smile, a different kind of warmth flooding my whole system as the songs positive vibe was beginning to affect me more and more.

"Hip hip hurray, come raise your glass, the devil can´t get all of us. Hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray, we drink until our final day!"

I began reminiscing, thinking about all the things I had done since Zinnia summoned me into her Verse. We had fought a corrupted Blueblood, I had grilled a Froslass (which I totally felt no remorse for), then my first flight with Air Zinnia and the short brush with the corrupted RD, who now called herself Shadow Blur.

My attempt at absorbing Darkrais cloud thing and my encounter with that asswipe Pokemon himself.

How Zinnia had kissed me to break me out.

"The devil had invented schnapps. So what? So what? Oh how I have laughed yesterday. So what? So what? Today I swear of booze forevermore, until the next long night when the Devil will wait for me and laugh! Hip hip hurray, come raise your glass, the devil can´t get all of us. Hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray, we drink until our final day!"

At this point I was singing almost at the top of my voice, unable to reign myself in. I shimmied on the spot and swayed my butt to the rhythm in my head.

The amazing Mile High Club sex with Zinnia and her clones, kilometers above the surface of Equuis.

I remembered the meeting with Zinnias Mane Six minus One and their reactions to me and Zi going at it in a crater like animals in heat. Hard to forget suddenly feeling a tongue in your ass from someone you would have never suspected it from.

Our little stunt at Canterlot and the encounter with Cadence and Shining. I halfway hoped the maids had yet not cleaned the floor so that all the nobles would speculate about the new odor of the throne room.

How Zinnia had taken the role of the sexy Mistress and how good it had felt to submit myself to her because I somehow knew I could completely trust her.

The strange feeling that had grown since we first had met, how it had made me feel jealous, had made me cocky and turned me into putty in the raven haired beauty's hands.

The session last night, which was one of the most glorious things in my life.

"Hip hip hurray, come raise your glass, the devil can´t get all of us. Hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray, we drink until our final day!" I sang out with broad smile, recalling Zinnias face and the countless looks she had given me. How she seemed to glow with an inner radiance, the kind yet oh so sexily deranged twinkle in her eyes whenever she was Mistress and how she made my heart swell.

The gentle way I was laid to rest last night and the four little words that I had heard before I had drifted off into sleep, spoken in my voice.

I love you Zi...

Looking in the mirror, it hit me with the force of a pissed-off Bio-Titan.

"I´m... I´m in love..." I muttered, my hands planted firmly onto the porcelain of the basin. A bucket worth of cold dread splashed into the warmth I was feeling only to dissolve as fast as it appeared.

My broad, stupid grin returned ten-fold. If I was not the densest creature in this part of the Multi-Verse, than I would eat a broom complete with the maid. Well, maybe just the maid.

My cheeks began to absorb the light again as a negative-blush began to grow as I whispered to myself in an almost inaudible voice "I´m in love. I love Zinnia." over and over again.

°°°

[3rd Person POV]

Whiplash stepped away from the bathroom door, making sure she wouldn't be seen before hurrying off to her own room. A small smile adorned her face, and she couldn't help but chuckle slightly.

"Good for her," the Pegasus said as she stepped into her bedroom, the simple sky-blue sheets of her bed greeting her. She moved to her own bathroom, taking a moment to grab some clothes from her wardrobe. "I just hope it doesn't turn into one of those romantic drama novels where the characters can't just admit their feelings. That'd be stupid."

°°°

[Zinnias POV]

Zinnia danced merrily around the kitchen, dressed in a purple satin robe with her iPod sat on the countertop blasting a vaguely electronic tune with a woman's voice singing. She sang along happily, bouncing from one foot to another as she rolled some sausages around in a frying pan.

"Just the two of us..." Zinnia muttered, a smile on her face. She bent pulled a plate from an over-hanging cupboard, spinning so that the toast that popped out of her toaster landed right in the center before placing it on the table next to a stick of butter. Turning back to a stove, she took the pan of sausages and its neighbor, a pan of scrambled eggs, spreading their contents evenly between three plates already on the table. She then placed a smaller plate on the table, giving that a smaller helping of the same.

"Umbra, Stryker, Whiplash!" Zinnia shouted, turning off the stove and placing the pans in the sink to be washed later. "Breakfast!"

She had not for long until she heard two sets of bare feet and a set of smaller steps, made by clawed feet.

The first in to appear was Stryker, the young Pokemon greeting his mother enthusiastically, wearing a sleeved red shirt, blue shorts and red socks, with small black spider emblazoned on his chest. Next came Whiplash, dressed in a simple shirt and shorts combo and last but not least, Umbra appeared. The dark skinned woman was only clad in a stark pink towel that contrasted vehemently with her black skin.

"Good morning." Whiplash greeted and took a seat, a thin smile grazing her muzzle as she gave side-glances to Umbra.

Umbra herself was wearing an much more obvious and broader smile that was somewhat on the dopey side as she sat down, careful to keep herself covered. "Guten Morgen," she yawned and smacked her lips a few times, showing all the world that she was not really a morning person. A familiar fragrance wafted over to Zinnia from her, which she recognized as her own shampoo.

"Who you?" the young Dragon-Type asked, staring at Umbra with wide, curious eyes.

Zinnia chuckled slightly, sitting down across from her visitor. "This is Umbra, Stryker," she said with a smile, reaching over to carefully cut the boy's sausages up for him. "She's a visitor from a faraway place."

"Like Uncle Jay?"

"Yes Stryker, just like Uncle Jay."

Umbra smiled at the young Pokemon, seemingly more awake now as the smell of food permeated the kitchens air and waved at Stryker "Hello sweetie, nice to meet you."

Stryker seemed to stare her down for a moment before a massive grin split his face. "You smell like Mama!"

"What!" Zinnia spluttered, choking on her drink.

"That is because," Umbra, seemingly not affected, took a sip from her own coffee. "Because I borrowed some of your Mamas shampoo and she let me sleep in her bed."

"Oh." Stryker just nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Did you have fun?"

At that, Umbra smiled again, this time a bit more malicious "Yes sweetie, a lot of it."

"Umbra!" Zinnia cried. "Girl, I love you and all, but shut up!"

Now it was Umbra´s turn to choke on her coffee, nearly spraying it over the whole table. Whiplash watched with mild glee, happily munching on some eggs.

"Wh-what?" the midnight-skinned woman asked, glowing eyes wide.

"You need to keep our fun on the down-low when in front of Stryker, please!"

Umbra's shoulders sagged visibly as her hands tightened around her mug. "Oh... that. Ok..."

Whiplash groaned, dragging her hand down her muzzle.

"What's up, hon?" Zinnia asked.

Fidgeting with her cup, Umbra let go of a long sigh "It´s, ehrm..." she paused, seemingly in an internal struggle for a few seconds before she continued "I... can I tell you after breakfast? Between four eyes?"

"S-sure..." Zinnia sat back, silently eating the rest of her food, stealing the occasional glance at Umbra, who seemed to be doing the same. Whiplash groaned audibly, quickly finishing her food.

"Hey, Stryker," the mare said, standing and taking her dishes to the sink. "How would you like to go for a ride on Sonar's back?"

"Yay!" the excited drake exclaimed, wolfing down what little was left of his food before rushing out of the room, Whiplash close behind. The mare paused in the door, though, glaring at the two women slightly.

"You two," she said, jabbing her finger at them. "Talk. Now."

As soon as the mare had left, Umbra gave Zinnia a slightly confused look "Geez, what kind of bug's bitten Whip this morning?"

"No idea," Zinnia shrugged. "But she's got a point. Only four eyes now."

"Right," Umbra nodded "Weeell, here goes..."

°°°

[Umbras POV]

Well, there we were. Just Zinnia and lil´ol´me. Only the two of us. No one else since Whip and Stryker went out for a fly. Nope, sirree bob, not another living... GRAAAH!!!

What in the in name of Nurgle´s rancid nut-cup was wrong with me?!?

You wanted to talk under four eyes, well, there you go,<< the voice from yesterday shouted at me and by her tone she was this close to pop a vessel >>Now stop acting like a god damn school girl with her first crush and fes´ up or sooo help me!!!<<

Wow, I think I really need to see a shrink in the closer future cause I´m sure having your own inner voice threaten is not normal.<<

Bitch, please! You are the incarnation of dark and evil in a land of anthro ponies and you are discussing confessing to your first real love in what, five years, with the manifestation of your amorous needs. YOU ARE NOT NORMAL!!!<<<

"Umbra?" Zinnia's voice called, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You okay? You don't have to tell me if you don’t want to."

"NO!" I yelled and shot up, nearly losing my towel in the process. As soon as I realized my outburst, I giggled sheepishly and sat back down. "I mean, no, I want to tell you. I just had... another discussion, let´s call it that."

"Oh, voices in your head? Trust me, they're nothing to worry about. Keep'em happy as long as they're not sociopathic murderers and you'll be fine."

"Heh, I wish," I chuckled lamely before taking a deep breath, preparing for the dive. "Okay, let´s do this, like ripping duct tape off. Zinnia," I looked into her eyes "We've only know each other for the better part of two days... we fought so some wanna-be baddies, we saved Thunder... Applejacks brother and you saved me, we ended up pissing off the guy that wants to destroy your Equestria and we had insane sex worth its own ballad. We pulled some awesome stuff with our little pet show in Canterlot after we found out that your Fluttershy is obviously a kinky closet case and that Pinkie is seemingly the Queen of every kind of party. We managed to literally screw the living incarnation of love and her hubby in the very throne room of Celestia and Luna. Afterwards you were kind enough not to only let me stay for the night and fed me, no, we went and had even insan-er sex with your roommate, including gaint-ass magical horsedongs and your own of course and all the while, you see, I had this strange feeling growing in me. I noticed first at Canterlot when Shining was plowing you and afterwards whenever someone else got your attention but me. Also, every time when we Pet and Mistress, every time you praised me, told me I´ve done good, my heart jumped. I knew I could feel safe with you, that you´d be there for me and that I always wanted to be there for you and I think I had some kind of epiphany this morning in the shower because sometimes I am denser than a black hole and then you said you loved me and all but you meant not what I meant but not to talk in innuendo before Stryker and then I asked you for a heart to heart and now I am babbling like some hopelessly crushing school girl, I am babbling aren´t I?"

I forced my mouth shout for a moment, closed my eyes and only concentrated at reigning in my raging pulse, holding up a single finger to signal Zinnia that I was not finished yet. Then I opened my eyes again and locked my gaze on Zinnia, giving an long exhale.

"Zinnia, I´m in love with you."

°°°

[Zinnia's POV]

Wow.

Just... wow.

…

"Thank fucking God!" I cried, slamming my hands down on the table. I caught Umbra's startle expression and couldn't help myself - I started laughing. The mad, desperate kind of laugh you get when something you really want is right in front of you.

"Wait, what!?" Umbra asked, eyes wide. "W-why are you laughing!?"

"Because I love you too, ya evil bitch!"

That moment, everything fell out of Umbra´s face as she owlishly stared at me, her mouth opening and closing oh so cutely. Finally, she managed to find her voice again after staring at me like a Magikarp on dry land for minutes.

"Whu~?"

Okay, too much praise.

"I said I love you too, Umbra!" I shouted again, moving around the table and taking her hands. "Now come here and kiss me you idiot."

Without giving her any time to react, I pressed my lips to hers, and a feeling of warm, happy, fullness crashed through me. This was different to whenever anyone else had kissed me, this was filled with love. No passion, no need, just... love.

°°°

[Umbras POV]

Conflicted. Yes, that was a pretty good word to describe my state of emotion that moment.

I was so incredibly happy that I felt like I could sing praise to any deity that had ever been worshipped but that would have meant that I would had to separate my lips from Zinnia´s.

I wanted to climb on top of Mount Canter and carve a ridiculously big heart with Z + U 4 ever in it into the very stone but that would have meant to let go of Zinnia.

I felt like I could walk right up to Celestia and yoink her crown right off her head without needing to fear the solar retaliation.

In the end, I settled with simply melting into the kiss, gently brushing my lips against Zinnias and wrapped my arms around her hips.

Zinnia moaned slightly, pulling me closer, her tongue brushing against my lips. I answered in kind, parting my lips and wrapping my tongue around hers. The towel fell away, leaving me completely open, but I could care less right now.

Zinnia pulled away after a moment, and despite giving a slight whimper of disappointment, I admit I needed some air too.

"Umbra," the woman before me whispered, and my spine tingled at how she said my name. "I honestly love you. So, so much."

I nearly lost it. Nearly. Mustering all the dark willpower bestowed upon me, I instead mentally slammed a sock into my "amorous needs" metaphorical mouth because she would not shut up about ravaging Zinnia on the dinner table which, frankly, would have totally ruined the mood and threw the lusty figment of my psyche into her little padded cell, slamming the door shut.

After that, I took Zinnias hands with my own, placing them on my chest, right above my heart. "Zinnia," I smiled tenderly at the raven haired beauty before me "Would you please become the head Mistress of my Tower... and my heart?"

"I thought I already was your Mistress?" Zinnia asked.

"No, yes, I mean, of course you are but it’s a bit more complex." I stumbled a bit over my words "You see, me, the Overlord or in my case, the Overlady... argh, let´s just say a dark Ruler, which I am by the way, is bound by tradition to not only amass countless treasures and build a giant domain but also bring in the most beautiful females under the sky as their partners. That the traditional term is Mistress is just fluke on cosmic scales."

"So..." Zinnia paused, brushing what I assume to be a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'd be like the Alpha Bitch?"

And now my mind was flooded with hundreds of pictures and scenarios, all staring Zinnia, wearing nothing but plush dog ears, a cute spiked collar, gloves to make her hands look like paws and a short, fake tail connected to a butt plug.

I licked a bit of drool from my lips. "Well, should I ever find more candidates, then of course. If not, you would be still Alpha but my only one and mostly in the bedroom. I have to keep up at least some appearances to keep my Minions in line." I explained. "Just out of curiosity, the whole 'dark Ruler' stuff didn't faze you? Like, at all?"

"Nah," she dismissed, waving my concern off. "I've seen the real you. And I vaguely know what the Overlord series was, I recognized you straight away." She paused, waggling her eyebrows at me. "Even if you are infinitely sexier."

"Not half as sexy as you are Zi." I smiled and planted another kiss on her lips before parting on my own this time. "Good that you know some of the lore, my Equestria stands no chance then. I think I already know the color of the new carpets for the Canterlot throne room." I said in a half serious tone. "Oh ho, Gnarl will so bust a nut or maybe even two when I introduce you to him."

"Should I dress up?" She looked down at herself, pulling her robe open to reveal her... nakedness. Dammit woman! "Or am I good like this? Ooh, I have the Slave Leia bikini!"

My eyes widened at this. "Did I ever mention that my love for you burns so bright, Celestia's sun looks like the arctic on a cold day compared to it?"

"Nope, but now I know!" She gave me a peck on the lips before slipping away, almost gliding out of the kitchen. "I'm gonna go get dressed, come and get your armor! We'll leave Whiplash a note and then hop over to your world to make this official."

I simply nodded and followed Zinnia's amazing booty. I could not really recall much of the dressing up process, mainly because it still baffled me just how many kinky props my... girlfriend... yes, my girlfriend had.

Halfway in the process, I was already in trousers, boots and tunic while Zinnia was only in some sort of ballerinas and the bottom part of her costume, I snuck up to her and tapped her shoulder. The moment she turned around, I latched myself on one of her proudly on attention standing nipples and helped me to a few quick sips of that god damn addictive milk of hers, causing Zinnia to moan in surprise. After I had satisfied this need and only got lightly swatted for it, we finished dressing up and wandered into a second large, hangar-like room, this one floored with the kind of rough wood you might find in a barn with a massive pile of hay in the corner. The metal door was wide open, a pleasant breeze flowing in.

"Hangar Two," Zinnia said, answering my unasked question. "Sonar's room. I'll leave the note on the wall."

With that, Zinnia pulled a piece of paper and a pen from who-knows-where (seriously, I must have her bag!) and quickly scrawled something down, sticking the paper to the wall opposite the open door.

"Alright, let's go."

"Okay, give me your token then. I'll go over and call you." I held my hand out.

"Honey, it's already on your leg," Zinnia said with a smile. Huh, guess I slipped it on without noticing. "But I have another idea. Come here." She held her arms out, beckoning me in.

Curious what she had in mind, I followed her request. Zinnia snuggled up to me, being sure to make me look like the dominant one (she's fantastic, really), and sighed.

"Umbra, our contract is complete."

A flash of blue light appeared, and a stomach lurching moment later I was back in my training room, inside my tower.

In an instant, nausea washed over me as my connection to the tower was restored back from a faint buzz to full brunt transmission, making me stumble. Zinnia caught me, her idea clearly having worked, and for a moment she just held me steady.

…o Welder, I still have no idea where Her Ladyship is. No you cannot try and make the dragoness into a new armor for Milady... what do you mean Rufus? Her smell? Where?<< I heard Gnarls voice scrape in my ears.

"You okay?" Zinnia asked. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "My dark Lady."

Hearing Zinnia call me that brought a smile to my face and I straightened myself. "Yes, yes. Only a moment of disorientation after the teleport." I reassured her.

Hey! Gnarl and anyone else in the channel, guess who´s back?<< I clinked myself back into the Minion mind link in the tower.

I got no response, instead the training rooms reinforced oaken doors were flung open and Gnarl, Rufus, Welder, Wiener, Onyx and even Norbert barged into the room.

"Milady, you are back!" Gnarl exclaimed, heavily leaning on his walking stick as he waddled over to us. It was then that he noticed Zinnia, still my arm around her, in her Slave Leia outfit which caused the old Minion to showcase his broadest (and most lecherous) smile. "And you finally found a Mistress for the tower." He waddled around us, giving Zinnia a praising nod "And what a beauty she is. These wings, is she a succubus?"

"He has no idea," the girl muttered before clearing her throat. "No sir, I'm actually a Draconid. We're a half-Dragon species with certain special abilities."

"My, my, how... exotic." Gnarl rubbed his hands while ogling Zinnias bountiful breasts "Say Miss..."

"Zinnia, this is Zinnia Gnarl." I chipped in.

"Oooh, what a beautiful name. Fitting for its owner. Now Miss Zinnia, how do you feel about feeding grapes to a hard-working, old Minion after a long day of work?"

"Yeah... that ain't gonna happen," Zinnia said with a frown, hugging my arm tightly. "I am purely for my Overlady's use, no outsiders unless she commands it." She stuck her tongue out at the shocked Minion Master before reaching up and squeezing her breast. "Sucks to be you. I'm milky."

I barely managed to suppress a roaring fit of laughter as Zinnia gave Gnarl a pass. He made a face like a fish on dry land, his mouth opening and closing wordlessly.

The other Minions though, they were laughing their collective asses of.

Wiener had pulled his chef hat over his face and was rolling on the floor, Welder lay on his stomach, pounding at the stone with his fists as hysteric giggles wracked him and Rufus was holding his stomach with one hand and slapping his leg with the other. Even Norbert, ever the embodiment of tranquility, was snickering into his hood, propped up on his scythe.

And then there was Onyx. The black dragoness had been suspiciously staring at Zinnia the whole time from above but as soon as Zinnia had cracked the verbal whip at Gnarl, her scowl turned into a full fanged grin and then into raging laughter that shook her mercilessly.

"Damn Gnarl, you just got burned so bad, better go and apply some salve!" the She-Dragon hollered, her tail whipping around behind her like possessed whip. Then she walked up to us and gave Zinnia a wide grin with slightly flared wings and a halfcocked head. "Girl, I think we will get along swimmingly." Then she addressed me without looking at me "Bout time you found me another dragon to hang around with demonette. Even if she is kinda squishy."

"I take you're Onyx," Zinnia said with a grin. "Girl, I'm squishy 'cuz there's a baby in my belly. But I can still kick ass."

"I can attest to that." I supplied.

"Oh? You heard of me?" Onyx now looked at me "Told her some stories about me, did cha?"

"How we met." I answered.

Suddenly Onyx wings snapped shut. "Damn, you had to tell that one of all stories?" the dragoness whined, rubbing one of her ram horns.

"Hey, we don't have that many stories together flamethrower, suck it up like a big girl." I chuckled. "Hmm, I think you broke Gnarl my dearest Zinnia." I stated as I pointed at the still fish imitating Gnarl.

"Oh, did I do bad, my dark Lady?" Zinnia asked, dropping to her knees with an almost invisible smirk. Almost. "Maybe you should punish me?"

And there was the reason why I loved that woman so damn much. A smirk rivaling Zinnia's appeared on my face as I rubbed my chin as in thought. "Yes, indeed you did, slave." I growled out, tasting the word slave on my tongue like an exquisite sweet. It was almost as intoxicating, as acts of dominance flashed through my mind, ways how I could make Zinnia submit to me. "Some disciplinary measures are in order." I looked down at her and ordered "Up!"

"Y-yes, my Lady!" Zinnia cried, scrambling to her feet. She stood there, hands behind her back and chest pushed forward slightly.

God she was so damn hot like this.

"Well then, what should I do with you hm?" I held my growling tone as I cupped her chin with my hand, looking into her eyes. They twinkled with anticipation. "Collar and chain slave, putt them on. I know you have them with you."

I was highly aware that the Minions and Onyx were watching, slack-jawed.

"Y-yes, my lady, right away. M-might I have my bag?" She held her hand out hesitantly, eyes down.

I gave her the item.

"Th-thank you," she muttered, digging through the bag before pulling out a small, golden collar and snapping it around her neck. Next, she pulled out a long, simple chain, attaching one end to her collar before presenting the other end to me. "F-for my lady, do with it as you please."

"Oh, I shall slave." I smirked as I took the chain and gave it a small tug, testing if it was properly attached. "Very good. Now, follow me. You are always to walk one step behind me. No dilly-dallying." I ordered. Before we left the room, I gave my Minions a glare before turning to Onyx. "Onyx, please burn every Minion who tries to take a peek into my chambers."

Onyx gave me a thumbs-up and a wicked smile. "Gotcha."

With that taken care of, I tugged at the chain and strode forward, towards my chambers. The walk was only one flight of stairs and soon we stood in my bedroom, the greatly ornamented iron doors falling into the lock with a loud 'bang'.

"Oh thank God!" Zinnia groaned, slumping down. "I don't know how much longer I could have held that act, Umbra. I swear, I wanted to punch myself!"

I took my helmet of and sat it on its stand before guiding Zinnia to sit down on my own bed, the silken sheets shimmering in the darkest red in the sun than came through my big balcony door.

"Aww, but you were so incredibly sexy when you pulled that little act. Wanted me to spank and eat you out right there on the spot." I said in a slightly husky voice, giving her a kiss on the earlobe.

Zinnia giggled a little before a smirk found its way onto her face. "Oh, but remember that you're my pet, Umbra," she replied, running a hand along one of the unprotected parts of my body. "I'm Big Bitch, okay? I have the magic cock."

"Valid argumentation but my statement still stands." A shudder ran down my spine as her fingertips danced over my exposed skin. "On a totally different note, I think you've won over Onyx, Welder, Rufus, Wiener and Norbert with flying colors. Also, the way you burned the old walnut," I leaned in and breathed into Zinnias ear "Was an total turn on. All that sass." I gave her ear a slight lick.

"O-oh, Umbra!" Zinnia moaned, before reaching into her bag, once again pulling the dildo out. "I wonder what yours would look like..." she muttered, waving it at me.

I gave the sexy magical doohickey a short look before my smile returned with a vengeance. "Only one way to find out, isn`t there Zi?" I wiggled my eyebrows. "Help me undress?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!Warning, incoming smut! If that is not your cup of tea, please skip to the next mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"But of course, my dark lady." Oh great darkness there it is.

Zinnia slipped off the bed, moving below me and slowly sliding her hands up my legs, undoing the clasps of my boots and in a heartbeat they were off. Next, Zinnia's hand slithered up and began to undo my belt buckle, pulling my belt and the protective armor and my weapon attached to it off me, depositing it on the growing pile on the ground.

All while giving me smoldering glances from below that made my blood run hot and a tingle run down between my thighs.

Before I knew what was happening, Zinnia had straddled my lap and began taking of my gauntlets. Doing that, she let her nails slightly graze my skin whenever she could, the faint touch driving me visibly wild as I yearned for a more substantial touch and by the cattish smile that adorned Zinnias face by now, she knew it.

"Am I doing good, my lady?" Zinnia breathed into my ear as she leaned forward to undo my upper body armor, using her wing-tips to tickle my shoulders as it fell away.

My mouth instantly went dry at the smoldering sexiness carried in her words before I reigned myself back in and answered "Yes. Keep going."

"Of course," she said, rubbing at my breasts through the thin tunic. "Shall I insert my lady's cock?"

My trousers and my tunic flew away in a manner that would have made Lupine the 3rd proud, revealing my body in all its naked glory once again, my nipples standing at attention and a unmistakable glistening coating the inside of my thighs. My face flushed and my heart hammering in my chest gave both Zinnia and the toy a gaze of want. "Do it!"

"As you command," Zinnia whispered, grasping the toy and placing it just at my opening. "Prepare to feel what a man does when he uses me."

With that, she shoved the plastic in, making me let out a gasp of delight. A familiar purple glow overtook the toy, and an electric tingling erupted from my loins, my mind flooding with all new sensations as the glow faded, revealing a long, thick, charcoal-skinned cock, veins throbbing along it's edges in time with my heartbeat. It had to be roughly twenty centimeters long, at least, and another three and a half thick!

"Oh my..." Zinnia muttered, sounding an awful lot like a flustered Fluttershy. "I didn't expect this on a human. Whiplash I understood, because... Well, because horsecock, but this..."

I starred at the monster protruding from my crotch, feeling new urges racing through my system, the most prominent to bury the black beast in Zinnias hot, wet throat.

"Oh... good... and here I thought I was the only one, hnng, surprised..." I panted and my new appendance twitched, sending a weird jolt through me. "Darkness... is it normal that it seems to have a mind of its own, trying to remote control me?"

"Oh that's just the testosterone rushing to your brain," Zinnia said with a wave and a smile. "What, you expect to grow a magic dick and not have male urges rush through your head?"

"Hah... okay... so that´s why... stop twitching dammit... why I feel the urge to fuck your face like no tomorrow until your belly is bloated with my cum..."

"Hey, let me get in position then you can go right ahead!" To punctuate her point, Zinnia crawled onto the bed, laying on her back with her mouth wide open. That gesture alone nearly made me blow my load into her face here and there. That was a strange thought let me tell ya!

Nervously biting my lip, I lined myself up with Zinnias waiting mouth, one hand on Zinnias head, the other guiding my newly acquired cock. Zinnias hot breath washed over my new meat and made me moan slightly. "Alright, I´ll put it in..." I muttered and, unsure how to go on, tried to slide carefully but my head was not even inside as my new 'instincts' took over, fed up with waiting and hilting myself until I felt resistance.

"Hee' hoi'!" Zinnia shouted, her words sending vibrations up my shaft before her throat seemed to constrict slightly, then open up, almost pulling me further in. "Ah ha' 'ake ih!"

That was the straw that cleaved the camel in two. I gripped Zinnias head with both hands and in one movement, hilted myself.

It was incredible. Zinnias hot throat felt divine as is constricted and relaxed around my shaft. "Now I can understand why guys love this so much..." I gasped out, nearly yelping as I felt something slithering over the surface of my meat stick. Zinnia was using her tongue! "O-oh sweet darkness!!!"

My first instinct was to press even deeper but somehow I managed to recall my own experiences with Zinnias and Whips magical cocks and the fact that living beings needed oxygen to survive, pulling out halfway to allow Zinnia to breath.

"Wow... that... what a rush and that was just putting it in your mouth once..." I gasped "And I nearly lost... it... are you okay Zi?"

Zinnia was lay there, openly glaring at me from below. She just pointed to the half of me that wasn't currently lodged within her before wrapping her hand around the base and jerking me.

"OH BLOODY HELL!" I yelled out as my brain was drowned in pleasure. " I GET IT, I GET IT! I... just stop.. I caHAn go on my oOOwn!"

That seemed to satisfy Zinnia as she let go of me. As soon as she let go, I hilted myself into her throat again and held that position for a few heartbeats, trying to recall how Zinnia had used my mouth and every guy I ever blowed. Hearing a growl from below, I began to thrust in a slow rhythm, still unaccustomed to the new piece of my physique. At the same time, I felt pressure building up in me.

I heard Zinnia let out a lust-filled groan, sending shivers up my spine even as she slathered my meat with her tongue, taking her time to run over each and every vein. She dragged her teeth lightly over the sensitive flesh. The pressure at the base of my member began to grow, building up until it was almost unbearable.

"Zi-Zinnia!" I shouted, pushing in until her nose was pressed against my thigh. "C-c-cu-cummiiing!!"

My legs nearly gave out on me as my first... well, male orgasm crashed down on me. The pressure popped like a cork on a violently shaken bottle of champagne, shooting out of me and into Zinnia's waiting throat as I felt my member twitch and swell and spurt. I pressed myself firmly into Zinnia, my head rolling back as my mind blanked and I stared at the ceiling of my chambers for a while until I noticed tapping at my hip and a part in the lust addled mush that was my mind realized that it was Zinnia, signaling to let her breath. With a grunt and an audible 'pop', I pulled out of the incredible cocksleeve that was my girlfriends throat, my dick trailing strings of saliva and cum behind, spurting one last string of cum over Zinnia's face.

"Un-unholy... ev-every-thing..." I gasped out, feeling slightly tipsy.

Zinnia panted for a second before running her hand across her face, gathering the last of my cum and letting it dribble into her mouth.

"Tastes like..." she said, a smile on her face. "Darkness. And love."

"Really?" I snorted, unable to stop myself from laughing at her. "You really went there?"

"What, I'm not allowed to comment on my girlfriend's taste?"

"Not if you’re gonna be all cheesy about it!"

"Fine! You taste like black forest gateau!"

"Gesundheit."

We shared a laugh for a moment, just basking in the afterglow, before Zinnia frowned at something.

"Uh, Umbra?" she asked, glaring at the ceiling. "You know how you told Onyx to burn peepers alive?"

"Yes?"

"Can I do it too?" She pointed at the ceiling, and I turned my gaze to see a single Brown Minion hanging from the ceiling, eyes wide.

My face fell into a deadpan as the Brown hastily tried to vanish back into whatever hole he crawled out of. "Knock yourself out Zi." I said in an even monotone, stepping back to clear the line of fire.

Zinnia spread her wings, shooting to the ceiling and gripping the Brown by the scruff of his neck, yanking him down. He fell to the ground with a crash, and I stood over him, glaring angrily. I heard Zinnia's wingbeats behind me before she stepped up, purple-blue flames licking at her lips.

"I'm not normally this ruthless," she said, a bit of flame falling and burning the Brown's skin, making him yelp in pain. "But you disobeyed my dark Lady, so now you die."

"Don´t worry, he´ll probably get off on it and we can always have Norbert revive him later. Fire at will love."

"Not with what I'm gonna do..." Zi growled. "You remember I said my kid's dad was an ice giant from Norse myth? Well his grandma's Hel. As in Death. I'm sure I could call in a favor for a few weeks of unending, agonizing torture with no chance of pleasure or the release of death."

A malicious smile grew on my lips. "Well, ya hear? Ya done goofed now buddy." I addressed the now visibly shaking Minion before turning to my fuming girlfriend "Cry havoc and unleash unending torment on this disobedient little fucker, my love."

"Thanks, but I'm not going home yet." She turned to me, flashing a genuine, dopey grin. "We had fun in my world, but I need a vacation!"

"I´m sure Norbert can pull some strings, being a Death himself." I supplied helpfully.

"Good, good..." Wow, Palpatine much? "These guys got balls? 'Cuz if they do, well... This dragon's got claws." To illustrate her point, two claws of energy burst from her hands, one made of purple-blue flames and the other seemingly made of her own shadow.

"Let´s find out."

°°°

[3rd Person POV]

Down in the Brood-Pits, the tortured screams of a Minion echoed around the caves. Even if none knew what caused it, each and every Minion subconsciously crossed their legs at the sound, and even Norbert seemed slightly unnerved. He turned to the River of Souls flowing not far from him, spotting a fragment of a Minion's soul floating there, shivering.

"What happened to you?" the old Blue asked himself, stroking his gill beard with a shudder.

°°°

[Umbras POV]

Zinnia stood up, flicking a spot of blood off of her hands and onto the Brown's face. She held up a small pot, within which were two shriveled up pieces of flesh.

"You see these?" the Draconid asked, growling when the Minion didn't reply. "Do you see these!?"

The minion let out a guttural, squawking noise, nodding desperately.

"You get these back in a month. After MY Death Patron deals with you. Now go cower in some corner until I call for you."

I had watched the whole impromptu OP with unabashed, morbid curiosity and maybe I was slowly starting to become a really sick and twisted bitch, maybe it was some raw, primitive part of my psyche or whatever but I suddenly realized that I was throbbing hard again. Painfully so.

"You know Zi," I put my hands on Zinnia's shoulders from behind her and stepped close, feeling my hard meat rub against Zinnia's ass cheeks, sliding up between them. "It might me totally wrong to be absolutely turned on by you mutilating that Minion but if so, I never want to be right again." I purred, nuzzling her neck.

"Y'know what?" Zinnia replied, pressing back into me. I felt my tip slip in slightly and we both groaned at the sensation. "I never was entirely right in the first place."

"Amen!" I breathed into Zinnias ear before I remembered something. "Hey love, I want to try something. You in?"

"Only if you’re in me."

"That´s a given."

"Then go right ahead, my dark Liege!"

"Alright, here we go." My hands snaked from behind between Zinnias legs "Now, try to relax, this should be a bit tricky. Oh and turn around. I wanna suck yer tits dry while I fuck your brains out." I added huskily.

"Umbra, you dirty bitch!" Zinnia cried, turning around with a smirk. "Do it!"

"Hello pot, I am kettle." I smirked before I grabbed the insides of Zinnias thighs, bent my knees and with a swift motion (now the muscle training Gnarl had me do really paid off as I was able to lift Zinnia with almost no problems), spread her legs in the process and slammed her down on my waiting shaft. In hindsight a total Jackass move but in that moment all I wanted was returning the favor to my hot, slightly deranged, hot and did I mention HOT girlfriend and fuck her senseless with my new appendance. That she was not wearing a panty, only this loincloth thing should also only much later come to my mind.

"A-ah!" Zi cried, arching her back and making her delicious tits bounce in front of my face. I reached out, grabbing the thin material and weak metals that formed her bikini top before ripping them off, pulling a nipple roughly into my waiting mouth. I grabbed the other one, too, squeezing and kneading it until her milk squirted out, running down my fingers and covering my cheek.

"F-fuck me, Umbra!" she cried, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Fuck me good! I'm your Mistress now, Umbra! Use me! Use me like I used you!"

"Gladly." I growled around her squirting nipple, lifting Zinnia until only my tip remained inside and that just barley. Then, without any warning, I slammed her down onto me, at the same time biting her nipple and earning me a mouthful of fresh, warm milk.

"SWEET CHRIST ON A MOTHERFUCKING BIKE NEVER STOP!!!"

Zinnia's voice was so incredibly loud, I'm almost positive they heard her even down in the Brood-Pits. Good, let them hear. Let it be known that I can pleasure a woman like she deserved it!

Lifting Zinnia back up and slamming her down again I proceeded to milk her for a good while she screamed and moaned like the unholy spawn of a Cat and a Banshee, clawing at my back and swearing that it would have made hardened sailors blush deep crimson.

That woman was so absolutely amazing and she was mine!

Greedily sucking at her other breast, a smile formed on my lips, latched around Zinnias nipple as a hot and kinky idea formed in my lust addled mind. I filled my mouth with Zinnias milk but kept it there and as I slammed her down again, I pressed my lips against her own, feeding her her own milk.

"MMMPH!!!!" She tried to cry out. "MMM!! Mmmph!! Mmm! Mm." With each passing moment, the shock seemed to ebb away, until eventually I felt her tongue start playing with mine as she gulped her own milk down with a satisfied "Mmmm~"

I pulled away, quickly latching on to her nipple again. Zinnia watched me for a moment before smirking, batting my hand away from her other tit and bringing the nipple to her mouth, suckling away with a happy grin.

"You..." I breathed, grinning as I pounded into her again, causing her to moan into her own tit. "Are so... Damn... Hot..."

My mind was by now a single foggy mess and my body was nearly working on its own, because apparently my new appendance came with a already installed auto-pilot. My hips were bucking upwards, working hard to slam myself even deeper into Zinnias quivering love tunnel.

Sweat ran over my brows as both Zinnia´s and my own movements became more and more frantic. At some point, we had both abandoned suckling and instead latched onto each others mouths, engaging in a passionate french kiss even as Zinnia's milk covered our chests. Our tongues wrestled each other for dominance, allowing us to taste each other at the same time.

I hungrily moaned into the kiss, again feeling the pressure building up. "Zi... I think... close...." I brought out between kissing my love, nipping at her lower lip and frantically thrusting into her.

"M-me too!" she replied, a low, rumbling growl of passion lining her voice. "I-inside! Together!"

I just gave a nod, redoubling my efforts to push the hot woman impaled on my throbbing meat spire over the edge. Zinnia leaned forward, her head falling past mine, and a minute later I felt her teeth grazing my shoulder.

"O-oh God..." I heard her mutter, as though holding something back. "I-I've just g-gotta... Crunch..."

A split second after the last word, I felt Zinnia clamp down in my shoulder and her teeth sink into my skin, making me cry out in shock, surprise and just a little pleasure.

Okay, she pushed me over the edge. I let gravity aid me as I slammed Zinnia down onto me, burying myself on her. Stars danced all over my field of vision as I felt myself unload spurt after spurt of my own warm goo into the depths of Zinnias womb and was really happy that she was preggers that moment because a low yet very haunting voice was whispering to me to impregnate Zinnia, to make her belly swell with my own dark child, making my claim to power over her undeniable and secure my own bloodline. I was not ready for that kind of freaky magic shit yet!

"MMMMMPH!" Zinnia cried around my shoulder, before releasing me. "Oh sweet, merciful Arceus!"

A whole new wave crashed down as Zinnia's orgasm wrecked her body, making her walls clench down on me, milking me for all that I had. She leaned back, hanging by her legs and my hands as she just dangled there, being pumped full. I swear I saw a little bulge in her stomach where my tip should be and the whole damn tower trembled violently.

As the last waves of your orgasms began to subside, I somehow managed to move both of us onto my bed were we sunk into the soft sheets with Zinnia half draped over me, her head snuggly resting on my humble B-Cups.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! End of the smut !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was laying limply, one of her wings more or less closed while the other was wide open. With some effort I managed to drape her arms in a fashion that they would not feel uncomfortable for her and after that, simply contended myself with watching her dopey smile that seemed etched onto her lips.

"Wow... you´re a real lucky bag full of surprises hn Zi?" I asked softly while running my fingers through her hair, not sure if she had passed out of just kept quite. Either way I enjoyed snuggling with her immensely. Even though she was a head short than me, she had a much more, well, meatier figure, absolutely perfect for snuggles.

My gaze wandered over Zinnias still body and I could not help but to compare us. She had at least twice as much boobage as me, maybe even trice (even though that might just have been the pregnancy), her waist was a tad slimmer and her booty a good tad more inviting for a quick grope.

I let out a slight sigh. >>Nope girl, we have that road behind us. Remember, we are beautiful on our own right. The smokin´ hot girlfriend of yours can attest to that!<< A smile crept back on my lips as these thoughts that Zinnia was indeed my girlfriend now, brought the nice warmth back into my chest. >>Atta girl, show em that smile.<<

"You're much cuter when you smile, y'know," Zinnia said, giggling when I jumped. "No idea why you wouldn't smile all the time."

"Don´t scare me like that, I might bleach out from shock." I said, taking care to smile extra wide "And to answer your other question, it´s simply a matter of appearances, y´know, me being evil incarnated, all super edgy and stuff, rah rah! As much as I want, I can't be all smiles, sunshine and rainbows when around the Minions. Onyx, maybe but the Minions need another approach. They would probably try a mutiny if I let their leashes too loose or my defenses too open." I took the opportunity to peck Zinnia on the forehead, the movement causing a burning sensation where she had bitten me earlier. I gingerly touched the spot. "Ouch. Dayum gurl, I´m all about rough play but you seemed to try and take my whole arm off."

"Sorry about that," she winced. "Don't know what came over me. It was... well, like a little voice, telling me to claim you." She ran her tongue over her teeth. "Never used Crunch before though."

"Really now? Funny, a little voice told me the same about you, just in a different way."

"Maybe it's just our natures now? You're in the body of an evil warlord bent on claiming the world, and I'm a half-Dragon, one of the most territorial species in any fiction."

"No shit!" I let out a chuckle "You should see how Onyx defends her bed in my treasure chamber, hell, the whole treasure chamber itself, even if my Minions just want to add some to it. Also, that was some pretty deep shit Zi."

"T-treasure... ch-chamber?" She licked her lips, and when I looked into her eyes, her pupils seemed to be... well, fluctuating, between regular shape and the slitted kind Dragons sometimes have. That was making me slightly... nervous.

"Zinna, love," I spoke in an even, warm voice. "look at me and tell me how you are feeling right now."

"I-I feel..." She paused, and her eyes went full-slit. "Need... I-I need... gems..."

Shit!<< That was probably not good. I've never seen her in this state, slitted eyes and her greedy, Smaug-esque tone indicated that Zinnia was somehow besides herself at the moment. If she went full berserk, I doubted my tower and, more importantly, my person would come out with just a minor scratch. So I did the first and the stupidest/cheesiest thing I could think of. I cupped Zinnias face with both hands and pulled her into a kiss, not unlike how she had done to break me out of Darkrai's funk, praying to the Multi-Verse that the same trick could work twice.

Zinnia went rigid for a moment before relaxing, kissing me back. When I pulled away, her eyes were back to their normal, human-like selves, and she seemed much calmer.

"U-Umbra?" she stammered, and fear slowly took over her features. "W-what's going on?"

"Shub Niggurath be thanked, I was almost expecting this to blow up into my face." I exhaled a long sigh before I gently pulled the fearful looking woman in a embrace.

"Never hurt Mate," she growled, letting out a sob moments later. "Umbra, I-I'm starting to get scared."

O~okay, that was getting stranger and stranger. Aww, shit and Zinnia suddenly looked like she was on the verge of crying.

"Shhh, all is good love, all is good." I cooed, caressing Zinnia's back in a soothing manner. "Although I might have a theory about what just happened."

Zinnia stiffened again, her wings snapping to attention. "Smell 'nother Dragon!"

"Yes love, that is Onyx. Remember her. Onyx. Big, black scales and most important, your friend Zinnia. Onyx is a friend. A member of the flock. Family." I said softly, continuing to caress Zinnia's back while I did my damndest to not freak out about Zinnias sudden change in attitude.

"F-friend..." She muttered, shuddering. "O-Onyx... Friend..."

"Yes love." I lovingly run my finger through Zinnia's hair.

She sniffed again, taking a long drag of the air. "Smell... more..." she said, shooting upright. "Intruders! Defend mate!"

Before I could say anything, Zinnia had shot out of my embrace, grabbing her bag and pulling a pair of shorts and a bra out, pulling them on as fast as possible. Guess whatever mind changing hocus pocus she was experiencing still had left a shred of female dignity in her. After that, she shot out of my chamber door, pushing the heavy doors open like they were cheap compressed wood.

I for my part jumped out of the bed too, pulling my tunic over to halfway cover me, slipped into my boots and Gauntlet of Dominance, graped Mayhem from the floor and followed Zinnia, half curious and half afraid who these intruders might turn out to be.

Sounds of fighting echoed through the halls as I raced after Zinnia, sounding like they were coming from the throne room. I changed course, heading down a nearby stairwell, before rounding a corner and sliding to a stop.

Two chimera's, TWO DAMN CHIMERA´S, stood proud in the center of the room, with a few minions lay unconscious before them. The male - I could tell from the fact that it had a Lion's Head and a big, bushy mane - had a Brown in his paw, holding him up and staring at it with all six eyes – the other eyes belonging to a two a ram's head, and a cobra's on the tail.

"What odd little creatures," the male's lion head said. Somehow his voice reminded me of Scar. He prodded to unconscious minion with a paw.

"What the bloody, ever-loving FUCK?!?" I burst out, seeing those two towering beasts casually standing in the center of my tower.

"Oh, dear," the female (female lion's body and head, a sheep head and maybe a python?) said, casually inspecting her claws.

"It ssseemsss there are more vermin than we thought," the female's snake head added.

"We'll just have to remove them." the sheep head finished.

"Remove me? Anything else? This is MY fricken tower you Frankenstein side-show!" I yelled angrily. Why was it that everyone wanted my god damn tower? I mean, the next mall was hundreds of kilometers away, no satellite connection and nothing but rocks all around. There were better properties literally everywhere!

"Oh, is it?" the male's ram head asked sarcastically. He shared a glance with... himself... that's freaky.

"Think of it thissss way," the cobra head hissed. "Thisss tower isss under new management."

"And we're having dark meat for lunch," his lion head growled, and they started stalking forward.

Yikes!

I involuntary made a step back, I mean, who wouldn´t? Both chimeras were easily towering over my by half a meter. It was then that I remembered every documentary I ever saw, who had hammered into my brain that running from a lion, or in this case a lion mishmash beastie, was the first step to becoming dinner.

"F-funny, I was thinking the same." I said, trying to sound defiant before yelling "Catch pussycat!" and hurling a Fireball spell towards the center between the two front heads. The chimera dodged with contemptuous ease, all heads licking their chops.

GNARL! Where the fuck are you?<< I yelled at the same time over my mind link.

I am attempting to restrain your new Mistress, Milady!<< the old minion shot back. >>She is going crazy!<<

What? Never mind! Tell her Umbra is in danger, in the throne room. TELL HER DAMMIT! There are two chimeras in here, big as mini vans and they are hungry! Send Minions while you’re at it!<<

Not two seconds later, a roar of pure, unbridled fury shook the tower. The chimeras winced slightly, backing away and searching the room.

"What wasss that!?"

"That?" I replied with a smirk. "That was my girlfriend. You're fucked, by the way."

The male snorted, glaring at me.

"If you think some hussy who can shout is going to kick us out..." his lion head growled.

Hello face, meet lightning covered fist. The male chimera hadn't even finished as I buried a left straight worthy of the Klitschko twins in his snout in a similar manner like I had done with Darkrai.

The beast roared in pain, rearing back to glare down at me, blood staining the lion heads muzzle.

"What did you just say? Care to repeat?" I hissed in an icy, cutting voice, my fist still out stretched and dripping with dark crimson blood. Deep inside me I felt the surge of power bubbling up, allowing me to move faster and hit harder as my mind slowly became consumed by the urge to kill, mutilate and cause pain. The Darkness knocked on my door and I opened it wide.

The female let out a low, rumbling growl, glaring at me before pouncing. Before she could even reach me, though, a stream of crimson flames spewed from a corridor, completely engulfing the chimera before a glowing white blur followed, slamming into her and throwing her across the room.

"No hurt mate!" Zinnia shouted as the glow faded. "MINE!!!" she added with a roar.

"Hello love," I smiled under my helmet. Just now, seeing the woman I loved in this ferocious state somehow even added to her beauty. "You're just in time. How about we show this insignificant Sideshow monsters who the true masters of this tower are and why?" Cold contempt oozed out of my words as I locked gazes with the male chimera again, electricity growing a new in my palm while the eyes in Mayhems handguard began to flicker.

Zinnia responded with an ear-splitting roar, draconic flames erupting from her mouth and claws of shadow forming in her hands.

"To blood. And death!" I roared myself, starting a sprint towards my chosen target, my blood boiling from the thrill of battle and the prospect of violent death.

°°°

[Zinnia's POV]

Red.

Everything was tinted red.

My fury bubbled away inside of me, the smell of my mate's attacker burning in my nose.

The faint part of me that was still me decided that yes, this would happen. And yes, this bitch would die.

My mate's words sounded so very, very far away when they reached my ears. But she was here, and she was safe. I roared in reply, letting loose a Dragon Breath to show my power.

The chimera groaned, pulling herself to her feet and glaring at me.

"Coward," the snake head spat. The first to be ripped from her flesh. "You attack me from behind, like a coward. What claim do you have to thisss tower?"

"Mate's Den!" I roared back without thinking, dropping to the ground. Shadow Claws covered my hands, and I felt energy fill my wings. "You no hurt Mate!"

The energy in my wings cried out to be release, and I complied. Shooting forward with my claws outstretched, I began spinning, a small whirlwind forming behind me.

"Shadow Whirlwind!"

A cone of shadow-infused wind appeared before me, tearing into the chimera even as I closed my claws around her lion neck. The sheep head cried out, shadow-air slicing into her skin, and the snake lashed out, the only one unaffected.

Perfect

"Crunch!"

"AAAARRGH!"

The snake hissed in pain, it's body writhing in pain as my teeth sank in. I grinned around her flesh, her movements making this all the more sweet. With a powerful beat of my wings, I pulled away from the Chimera, her snake head still in my teeth. With a satisfying tear, the head came away, leaving a writhing snake body spurting blood over the floors. I stared into the four remaining eyes, full of shock, and let the flames build in my mouth, incinerating the snake.

Spitting the ashes out, I glared at the remainder of my prey.

I grinned at them, reveling in their fear.

"No hurt Mate," I growled. "No take Mate's Den."

"You..." the sheep gaped. "You..."

"You bitch!" the Lion roared. "I'll tear you to shreds!"

The chimera pounced, and I brought up a Protect, which she landed on top of, trying to break through. A grin formed and I brought a Brick Break into my hand.

"Guerrilla Shards!"

I punched the barrier, sending glowing green shards flying into the chimera even as she fell onto me. Bloodied cuts covered her body even as her fangs bared down on me.

"I'm going to enjoy this," she growled, and the sheep head looked down with sick delight. "I'm going to be tearing you to shreds, after all."

"Oh no you're not!"

A black shape tackled the chimera from on top of me, rolling away in a flurry of colors.

Onyx.

The dragoness rolled to her feet, glaring at the chimera. "You ain't touching her!"

"What do you care, Dragon?" the chimera shot back. "This is not your den! You have no hoard here! It is owned!"

She insults Mate's flock! A little voice shouted. She must be destroyed! Frustration! Rage! Outrage!

"Final Fury!!!"

Onyx and the chimera turned to me, their expressions changing from confusion to fear when they saw the burning blue aura that surrounded me. Onyx scrambled away, moving out of my line of sight, and I charged at the chimera with a roar of pure anger.

"Die!" I roared, slamming my fist into the lion head even as the flames began burning her alive. "Die!" My fist slammed into the sheep head, the body becoming dizy and stumbling back. I followed, kicking out and sending her to the ground. "Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die!" Every word was punctuated with another strike, the chimera curling up and whimpering before going quiet. I didn't care, I kept going. She had to pay!

°°°

(Umbras POV)

My Corruption spell hit the male chimera dead on, sending massive jolts of electricity mostly into the ram´s head as its horns somehow acted as a lightning rod of sorts, causing black smoke to rise from it.

The three heads collectively roared in pain and fury, jumping several meters back in one leap, breaking free from my spell, but I could tell that some damage had been done. Nearly all the fur was burned off the ram's head, exposing lobster-red flesh with at least second degree burns and the head´s right eye was held closed which a part red, part clear liquid streaming out of it over the heads ruined cheek, like macabre tears.

I felt so alive as I followed hot on my prey´s heels. The song of battle was sounding in my ears, guiding my every movement, supplying knowledge where my own lacked, pointing out weak points, openings in my preys stance and the best way to capitalize out of them.

"Di-hi-hi-hiiie!" the ram head bleated furiously, the creatures whole body springing into life, winding up a low swipe with its front paw in order to eviscerate me.

At the same time, I fired another Corruption spell.

But this time, the chimera used his momentum and his bulk to simply power directly through my magical onslaught, albeit it was ever so slightly slowed down.

This was my saving grace as a paw big like my head and studded with razor sharp claws drew an arc over my stomach but instead of spilling my guts all over the floor, it 'merely' shredded my tunic and carved four large, bleeding gashes into my soft flesh, causing my to cry out in surprise and pain. Mostly surprise.

"GGGAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

Pressing my hand over my wound, I stumbled backwards. I felt my warm blood run over my hand and down my legs.

I looked up.

The chimera towered over me, the large predators whole body poised for the final blow.

Suddenly, in a well and often used movement, the chimera lowered his front towards the floor and not unlike a scorpions stinger, the cobra head on the beasts tail shot towards me, ivory colored, poisonous fangs longer than my damn fingers ready to sink into my body to pump me full of lethal poison.

Only to be intercepted by a brown blur that flew directly into the open maw, impaling itself on the murderous fangs, effectively disarming them.

Feeling a bit lightheaded, I stared baffled at the Brown Minion that even in his death throes was still happily gibbering incomprehensible war cries.

"MINIONS! Protect her Ladyship! Onwards!"

I turned my head, seeing Gnarl standing in the door, gesticulating with his stick towards the two chimeras and a flood several dozen Brown and Red Minions swarming into the room.

"Raaagh! More pests!" the lion head made his frustration known "Crush them all!" as the Red Minions began to pepper the towering beast with fire globs and the Browns began to swarm around its legs, stabbing and cutting with their weapons, quickly opening several bleeding wounds under total disregard of their own safety, ignoring the fates of their brethren who found their ends under paws, cloven hooves and between strong jaws.

"Enough of thisss!" the cobra head again rocketed forwards, intending on impaling me with its fangs straight through the heart, I could tell it from the sheer look of hatred in its yellow eyes.

But this time, I was prepared.

Adrenaline rushed through my system, allowing me to ignore the burning pain and the lightheadedness from the blood loss as my gaze locked on the approaching snake.

From somewhere in my mind, I suddenly gained the knowledge on how the serpentine tail would move, I could almost see its muscles working under its skin.

The cobra opened its maw wide and that robbed it of its sight on me for a short yet crucial moment.

My muscles turned into spring coils, moving me out of harm’s way a heartbeat before the poison dripping fangs could sink into me.

Instantly I raised Mayhem above my head and brought the enchanted blade down with all the power I could muster. A shrill, hissing scream pierced the air as Mayhem bit deep into the scales and muscles, the madness of the blade flooding my mind, urging me to take another hit and I complied. This time, I shifted to a two handed grip and brought the blade down with a primal outcry.

The eyes in Mayhems handguard shone brilliantly as the blade bit into the snakes bones, all but cleaving them it in two.

The chimera jerked his tail back, the sudden movement causing the already half severed tail to rip of complete with a wet sound and fall to the ground, a mist of blood spraying from the tails stump, filling the air with light crimson. That in turn caused the chimera to rear up on his back legs with a roar of anguish.

"Milady, now! Topple the beast with your Minions and plunge your blade deep into its heart!" Gnarl yelled from his safe spot.

I grinned and a cackle rose from my own chest. Yes, I liked that plan.

"Minions!" This time it was my voice calling out to my little soldiers, brimming with dark power and a hint of madness. "Browns, cut its legs, ram your spears into it! Reds, fire at the remaining heads!"

And my Minions complied. Under the combined onslaught of cutting, stabbing, chopping and a hail of fiery globs, the chimera quickly lost his balance. With a surprised outcry, the beast fell to its back, sending small shockwaves through the ground.

As soon as I saw the chimera fall, I began to move. I closed the distance in a quick sprint and as the heavy body slammed into the floor, I jumped, drilling my heavy boots in the soft abdomen of the creature. For a second I struggled to find secure footing on the pliable flesh but then I found it and soldiered on. I changed my grip on Mayhem to reverse and again, raised the blade with two hands over my head like an oversized dagger.

"Time to DIE!" I roared and brought my weapon down, the falchions polished blade sinking into the chimeras chest like a hot knife into butter, piercing through the beasts ribcage and finding its mark in the chimeras wildly pumping heart.

With a wet 'thung' Mayhems handguard collided with the chimeras chest and with a last spasm and a gurgling, pathetic cry that degraded into a choked mewl, my prey breathed its last breath and lay still.

With ragged breath, I forced myself to stand as a colorful whirlwind exploded from the slain beasts corpse and a huge amount of souls rushed into my Gauntlet of Dominance, revitalizing me a bit in the process.

"Oh... Milady. You made it, thanked be the Dark Fates." Gnarl croaked, waddling over, pointedly avoiding the growing puddles of blood on the ground.

"Yeah, yeah, great Gnarl. Hey, see that those bodies are put to good use in the kitchen or something... where´s Zinnia?"

My question was answered as I looked around only to find the my girlfriend, covered in blue flames and pounding away with her fists at a definitively dead pile of flesh, splattering blood and giblets over the walls and the floor.

"Zi..." I muttered, Mayhem slipping from my hand as I stumbled over to her, reaching out with my right, my left again clutched over my wound.

"Zinnia... it´s over. It's dead... yo..." I was interrupted as I suddenly was wracked by violent coughing that sprayed light red mist from my mouth. "Oooo... not good..."

Zinnia straightened up, her head whipping around to me. Her nostrils flared, as though smelling the blood, and a moment later her flames petered out, leaving steam rising from her skin.

"U-Umbra..." she muttered, shaking her head viciously. "Umbra!" she cried again, this time rushing over, catching me just as my legs buckled.

"Hey love..." I gave her a blood caked smile.

"U-Umbra... no..." Tears formed in Zinnia's eyes, falling slowly down her face. "You... you're okay, right?" she asked, almost desperately.

"Jus~sst a bit light he~eaded...." I slurred before my mind finally recognized what these things were that kept falling on my face.

Zinnia was crying.

"Hey... love. Why´re you.. cryin´?" I touched her cheek with my right hand, attempting to wipe her tears away with my thumb. "Aaall I need is some rest... and I´ll be as rain as right in no time... hehe..."

"Umbra... I love you, but don't lie to me," she sighed, gingerly lacing her hand on my wound, making me wince. "This is more than 'I need to rest' and you know it."

"Really? Ooopsie doodie..." I suppressed another wince. "Well... maybe you´re right... where´s Gnarl?"

"Right here, milady," the walking walnut provided, shuffling up to my side.

"Ah, there ya... Say, the Tower Heart still charging up from my last revive?" I asked, feeling for some reason the urge to giggle.

"I am afraid so. Even though, this land is rich on ambient magic..." he said somberly, looking at his clawed feet.

"Oh..."

"Wait, what!?" Zinnia cried, eyes wide. "That has happened before!?"

"Yeppers," I answered strangely chipper "Big Dog sliced my head with his axe from here to here." I dragged my finger from my forehead to my chin to underline my statement.

"Yes and I told your Ladyship that the Tower Heart would need to reload it´s magical reserves from the ambient energy for a long period before a revive with an acceptable chance of success could be possible." Gnarl lectured, even now.

"Dude!" Zinnia snapped. "She is dying right now! Can it!" She looked back down at me before slamming her free palm into her head. "Why don't I have any healing moves, dammit!"

"Well, that is how it always has been. Overlords always die sooner or later, either by the blade of a so called Hero or otherwise." Gnarl retorted "All we can do is honor her memory and search for the next dark Ruler. But if it is any consolation Milady, you have been the by far most pleasant dark Ruler I ever had the pleasure to serve."

"Yay..."

"Fuck your traditions! Doesn’t someone have any healing abilities in this tower?!" Zinnia clenched her fist, trailing off. "Every game with Minions has a healing class..."

"Game? I think you are hysteric Miss Zinnia" Gnarl unsurely took a step back.

I caught a brief glimpse of Zinnia's eyes, the slitted pupils coming back.

"ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION BEFORE I CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE THE HAIRY WALNUT YOU ARE!!!"

It might have been the blood loss that somehow caused an epiphany of sorts or just some cosmic convenience but I tapped Zinnias arm with my hand "Hey, hey... didn´t ya say you know Hel? Like Goddess of Death? Maybe Norbert can call her or sumthin..." before I turned to Gnarl "And you, how much juice does the Heart have by now? Gimme an estimate..."

Gnarl looked a bit ashamed (heh, a first and I only needed to die for that) before he answered "I would say... hm, forty five percent at the most generous guess."

"Schooo~ it might be the blood loss but that means I have nearly a fifty/fifty chance to revive?"

"I... might be able to get Jason to bring her... I'm not sure..." She paused, frowning. "The only time I've seen her outside of her realms was when my world joined them, so it doesn't really count, but it's worth a try."

"That or flippin a coin love..." I giggled "Ooouh, I feel tipsy..."

"Well... maybe there is a third way..." Gnarl suddenly chipped in, hesitation audible in his voice.

"Then tell us you walking wrinkle!" Onyx suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Gnarl nearly jumped out of his skin. "Don´t do that! Now, what I say next is highly theoretical and lengthy but I'll try to break it down. Theoretically, we should be able to use the raw energy of the Tower Heart to infuse Milady's body directly with its healing energies, restoring her health enough to stabilize her."

"YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" Zinnia roared, gently placing me down. A second later, she lunged at Gnarl, knocking the old Brown onto his back with a grunt. She stood over him. "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT FIRST!? WHY WERE YOU PREPARED TO LET HER DIE!"

"Because Gnarl here is, now and then, a bit too gridlocked with traditions and rules." an eerily calm voice suddenly stated and all eyes turned to Norbert, the ancient Blue standing near me like he had been there from the beginning. I had to admit, now his grim Reaper get-up was a little intimidating. "Also, because a direct Mana infusion from the Tower Heart has a slight possibility to cause a cataclysmic explosion that would devastate the land and make it uninhabitable for the next fifty or more generations. That happened at least once in the past if I recall correctly."

Oh? So we are already past part two?

I looked at Zinnia, trying a smile "Well, what´dja say love? In the mood to risk planetary devastation?"

"You can move in with me if that happens," Zinnia said with a smile, moving back over to me. She lifted me up gently, flaring her wings. "To the Tower Heart, now!"

Norbert bowed his hooded head slightly. "Very well then, please follow me Miss." With that, the Minion Death waddled towards the stairs, Zinnia with me in her arms and Onyx in hot pursuit. Only Gnarl seemed reluctant and stayed behind.

[Moments later, in the Treasure Chamber]

I was laid on the ground right in front of the Tower Heart, Norbert propped on his scythe in front of me while Zinnia and Onyx stood at the sidelines.

"Are you sure of this Milady?" Norbert asked in his slightly echoing voice.

I gave a thumbs-up from the ground. "Ready as ever will be." Then I lifted my head to look at Zinnia and Onyx. "See ya later." I said with an idiotic grin before laying my head back down.

"You better live..." I heard Zinnia mutter. "Or I swear to God I'll kill you..."

After that, Norbert cleared his throat, signaling that he was about to begin. He stomped the butt of his scythes handle on the floor of the chamber three times, causing eerie echoes. I then saw him flare his arms out, his gaze firmly locked on the Tower Heart. Suddenly the air thrummed with graspable power as ethereal winds began to flow.

I felt my body slightly being lifted into the air as suddenly pressure started to build up in my chest, making breathing hard.

Something prodded me, something warm and formless, something incredible powerful yet absolutely gentle.

This better be no god damn tentacles!<< I thought before I finally blanked out.

[An unknown amount of time later]

As I came back to, I could not move and everything was dark.

Great, did I really croak this time?

Was this the afterlife? If so, then this afterlife sucked major balls!

"Hmmm, at least its soft all around." I said to myself, pleasantly surprised that I could still speak. That meant I could at least talk to myself until I figured out what actually happened to me.

Experimentally I tried to wiggle my toes and was pleasantly surprised as I felt it work. So far so good.

Next for examining my eyes, but my arms didn't budge as I tried to raise one and touch my eyes. They felt open but also like there was something on them. Also, still felt a pressure on my chest.

"Le sigh... okay Multi-Verse, you had your fun with me, now please, please, please, show me what happened to me because I might very well start running to stop Zinnia from tearing me a new one for dying..." I stated, starting to get irate from my paralyzed state.

"Whu~?"

Huh, guess my prayers are being answered. This time.

The pressure on my chest shifted before lifting off altogether, the darkness moving away slowly, revealing the duvet of my bed falling from Zinnia's body. She looked down at me tiredly, raising a hand to brush the sleep away for a moment before seeming to wake fully.

"Umbra!" she cried, her face visibly lighting up. "You're awake!"

"Hey there beautiful." I grinned and immediately regretted it as my everything began to sting. Well, now at least I knew why I seemed unable to move my arms. They must have fallen asleep from Zinnia sleeping on me.

"Oh, thank God you're okay!" she yelled, before lightly punching my shoulder. "Don't you ever do that again!"

"Ouch." I whined playfully "I hadn't planned to do it in first place. Even though, if I all the times get to see your beautiful face when I come back, I might eventually reconsider it."

"Don't you dare give me that!" she chided, though a small smile found its way onto her face. "I swear, if you weren't recovering from almost dying I'd kill you where you lay."

A cattish smile formed on my face "Uh, you are so hot when you throw around death threats love."

Zinnia giggled. "Seriously, stop it. You need to rest, and now I need to go tell everyone you're okay." She paused, seemingly remembering something. "And don't use that mind-talking thing Gnarl told me about. He said it might put too much strain on your mind." She stood up, shooting me one last smile before turning to the door and muttering. "I should probably take him down off the wall..."

"Kay, I´ll be a good girl Zi." I spoke from under my covers, watching her cute ass as long as I could. "Pwease be quick, so we can cuddle."

"I'll have Wiener bring you something to eat while you wait," she said with a chuckle, waving back coyly. Damn tease.

The doors closed behind Zinnia and I was alone in my bedroom. I sighed and looked at the ceiling.

"Hm, let´s see. With Zinnia I have a wonderful, loving girlfriend, Norbert risked blasting the world to smithereens for me, and in Onyx I have a dragoness that is not only willing to guard my treasures instead of eating them, she will also jump at big-ass monsters without a thought to protect me and Zinnia and I'm not dead."

Wiener chose that moment to walk in, a tray of food in his hands, which he then placed on my lap when I sat up.

The smile returned to my face "And now I've got food, too! Life is pretty great."

Author's Note

Yes... well... so that happened. Eh he he...

*looks nervously into the readers faces*

O-okay, look, I know we overdid it with the sex a bit by now...

*several dozen bludgeoning instruments get pulled from their hiding places*

W-w-wait! Let´s not be hasty, okay? I-i promise, I see that we cut back on the nasty bits and go back to main story line as fast as....

*angry buzzing beginns to fill the air*

AHHHH! OH GOD! NOT THE BEES, NOT THE BEES!!!!

*turns tail and runs for her life*

And another part with The Emerald Nightingales Delta Guardian.

10. Standing on the Crossroads

- 10. Standing on the Crossroads –

[One week later]

“Why does my tower has so many fuckin´ corridors? How do they even fit in here?” I grumped out loud while I was wandering my lovely fortress of dark epicness on my own.

My healing had gone smoothly after the raw Mana infusion Norbert had given me from the Tower Heart, even though Gnarl made sure to chew me out for risking the potential magic devastation of the planet and more important, the eventual permanent death of the Minions, himself included, afterwards (and after Zinnia had taken him of the torch hanger, she told me later).

Zinnia was still around and hell, did I enjoy her company but since waking up this morning I felt strange somehow.

Restless, like I was called somewhere. Not the weird pull at my core when I was summoned by another Displaced, no, a different kind of call. Something more base, almost instinctual.

So after breakfast, I had donned my armor and excused myself to allow my feet to drag me of to where ever they wanted me to be.

“Darkness, I think I am walking around for hours now.” I muttered as I suddenly felt like walking against an invisible wall. I was not able to make one more step forward. Irritated I looked around.

Hallway up front.

Wall to my left.

Hallway behind me.

Ceiling.

Floor.

Hugeass door to my right…. Wait a damn moment, where did this door came from? Flabbergasted I stared at the large, really large door in front of me that a second ago had not been there, just a blank wall.

The door itself, one of the double winged variety, was remarkably simple. A blackish material with one metal ornament on each wing, shaped like the outline of an Overlords helmet. Heh, I think I can sense a pattern somewhere. But no door handle or a keyhole.

The weird pull I felt was definitively coming from behind those doors.

“Oka~y…,” I said out “Freaky mystery door, how do I even open you?”

Obviously, the door did not answer.

After staring at the door for a while, internally debating if I should try stuff like ‘Open Sesame!’, I simply followed my gut instinct and took a step towards the door.

Nothing happened.

Another step and again, nothing happened.

Oh, now come on!<<

I was about to mind-link Gnarl about my findings as a low rumble could be heard, accompanied by the slow grinding of hard stuff on stone.

With the tempo of a continental drift (okay, maybe a bit faster), the huge door swung open and came to an halt with quite a thundering crack.

Tentative I took a step inside the new and uncharted room of my tower and felt my jaw unhinge.

In front of me, in best Warehouse Thirteen manner, stretched out a huge room… hall… thingy, illuminated by some kind of pumpkin sized Will-o-Whisps floating under the celling by the dozens as far as I could see.

“Holy fuck, it´s bigger on the inside.” I gasped while looking around. “What in the nine circles is this?”

Should I or shouldn't I? I was getting a feeling about the room. It... teemed with malice. That's really about the best explanation I can make.

I reminded myself this was the Overlord's tower. Unlike me, a lot of those guys were evil to the bone and I didn't put it past them to create some sort of... I dunno, evil room where they could suck out my soul.

And now I'm getting a little paranoid. "Better call Gnarl. If anyone's got a clue what this is, it's him."

Hey, Gnarl.<<

Yes, Milady?<< came the response. Say what you will about the old walnut, he took his duties as minion master seriously.

Ever heard about some... what do you call it, evil hidden room in the tower?<<

This is the Overlord's tower, Milady,<< came the dry retort. >>It would be a most shameful crime if not all room were decorated to their utmost evilness.<<

No, I mean like...<< Come to think about it, what did I mean?

It's not like the other ones, you old coot. There's something different about it. It's like... I can feel it calling to me. I dunno, just get your wrinkled butt over here.<<

As you wish, milady,<< he said obediently, and don't think I didn't hear him muttering about demanding, emotional women before he cut his link.

I didn't have to wait long. Barely a minute passed, me standing there in complete silence in front of the wide open entrance to the evil room. Completely exposed. Probably not the best idea.

Anyway, the pitter patter of many minion feet echoed around the stone walls and after turning a corner there was Gnarl, carried aloft by six different Browns, who had bent and contorted their bodies so that it looked like the old walnut was sitting in a chair with feet.

He climbed off his Minion mount. The little kobolds either gave me a bow or a salute before they scurried off to do... I dunno, Minion things.

At first, none of us said anything. It was this kind of awkward silence where every party was waiting for the other to speak first.

"Hoo~boy! This is something, ain't it Gnarl?" I said with false enthusiasm, trying to break the ice.

Gnarl didn't say anything. Hell, I don't think he even noticed me speaking. Impudent little walnut...

No, he simply stood there, transfixed, studying the empty void of the room, as if he could see something I could not.

I was about to try to get his attention again when, without another word or without even acknowledging his Overlady, the ancient kobold started his old-people-waddle into the room.

I followed suit, a bit more relaxed but wary nonetheless.

We (that is I) had not made four steps into the room(Gnarl had to make a lot more because my steps were a lot longer than his) as suddenly, the air rippled like it would over a street on a really hot summer's day and for a short moment, it felt like the very fabric of reality was re-arranging itself.

It was a feeling that made me sick to my stomach.

As the nausea went away and I looked around with a renewed sense of worry, my eyes nearly popped out of my skull.

All along the walls, alcoves had appeared. Hesitantly, I approached the nearest. It was easily two and a half meters high and at least one and a half wide. In the alcove, on a pedestal stood an impressive set of armor. It looked like a classical knight's plate, except that the belt buckle was a grinning Minion face and the left gauntlet was unmistakable a Gauntlet of Dominance.

I looked up to the helmet. It was fashioned like some sort of serpentine dragon with two short horns curling upwards, the maw half open. As I looked into the empty darkness of the helmet, I could have sworn that a faint yet incredibly smooth and suave voice was whispering to me.

Shaking my head, I took a step back. "Wow, that was weird," I muttered.

My eyes returned to the display and now I noticed a mace with an oval, spiked head resting in the right gauntlet. At least there was some good taste in weaponry, I had to admit.

Something shiny at the pedestal caught my attention. It was a polished golden plaque, with quite a lot of text engraved in it.

"The Serpent. Successor of the Warmonger. The Silver-Tongued Conqueror, Master of Deceit, He, who by the use of nothing more than poisoned and honeyed words, talked the great and all-powerful kingdom of Medaria into fealty, Master Tactician..." I read out half-loud, deciding to skip the last part of what seemed like a genuinely impressive list of titles and achievements.

"Wow~ee, seems like he was an impressive guy."

"Impressive indeed, Milady," Gnarl whispered. The old geezer turned to me and on his withered face was an expression I had not seen there before. "Milady," he began a bit hesitantly, as if not all that sure how to pick his words. "Do you know what this room is?"

"Of course I don't know what this room is, you old walnut," I said irritably. "That's why you're here. You're supposed to know all this stuff."

Whereas Gnarl would normally look annoyed at my attitude, he instead raised his head and gave a ponderous nod. "I know what this room is, Milady. It is a place that not every Overlord can see. It only shows itself to those whom it senses to have potential."

"It shows itself? What do you mean, is the room intelligent? And potential for what?" The walnut's riddled speech was really starting to get on my nerves.

"This, Milady. This," He opened his arms wide. "This is the Hall of Darkness. This is the room, Milady. This is the room that presents itself only to those Overlords it deems worthy!" Gnarl's voice held a pitch of excitement I had never heard before. "This room is where the greatest of the Overlords are immortalized for eternity, where their names and their deeds will live on to be remembered for every Overlord since." Now I knew it. That odd lilt to his voice. It was reverence.

"You see, Milady, whereas all Overlords are great, not all of them are created equal. There are those who commit deeds, who commit evils so great and on so big a scale that their belongings and their memories are preserved by previous Minion Masters in this room to be recognized until the end of time. I told Milady the room only shows itself to those it senses to have potential. It senses Your Ladyship to be worthy to one day be included among its halls. Truly there is no higher honor."

"The greatest Overlords, huh?" I said numbly. Partly because I was standing in a room chock-full of... well, evil relics and partly because of the dramatic shift in the old codger's demeanor.

"Yes, yes, Milady," he said enthusiastically. "Only those Overlords who have proven themselves to be greater than any other are allowed to take a place in it's halls. This room senses Your Ladyship's potential to rise above your predecessors and join the ranks of the greatest Overlords who ever lived. Oh, yes," The old minion was practically salivating at this point. "Your Ladyship could become as great and terrible as the Eviscerator, he who struck down all his enemies single handedly, who wiped out the elves and dwarf races entirely and who 'killed' the world to boot! Oh, or perhaps Your Ladyship will follow the path of the Warlock, who created Your Ladyship's favorite spell—Corruption! And many other savage magics that countless Overlords since have used. Ah, and of course--"

"Hey, hey! Slow down there, Gnarl!" I said more than a little desperately.

The old minion broke out of what was an undoubtedly long and enthusiastic rant.

My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton that was drenched in one hundred proof alcohol. This was just so god damn much to stomach all at once.

"I think... I need to... sit down, yes." And before I knew it, my four letters made contact the floor.

Gnarl looked at me with a weird expression that was somewhere between 'proud father'(which frankly was creepy as fuck!) and 'annoyed and underpaid college professor'.

"Now, I can absolutely understand that the sheer possibility of all this must be nearly overwhelming for Milady," my oh so loyal adviser said. "Just let it settle for a moment."

Overwhelming. Hah, that´s the understatement of the millennium, Gnarl! I felt cold sweat forming on my forehead and running down my spine, my stomach decided spontaneously to try a second career as a Charybdis knock-off and form a cold, all devouring pit inside of me, I began to hyperventilate and the room started to rotate.

"Milady? Are you not feeling well?" I heard Gnarl ask.

Just by a hair's wide, I managed to suppress a manic fit of laughter even though I could not stop the slightly deranged looking smile that spread across my lips. It has been a stupid defense mechanism of mine ever since I was little. Creeped the hell out of everyone without fail, heh.

"Oh, Gnarl, why in the name of everything that is dark and unholy should I not feel well?" I answered in a sing-song voice, my head tilting slightly to the left. Yepp, there it was, I could feel the maniacal laughter starting to bubble up in my stomach. "I mean, how would you feel when someone suddenly and without warning, dumped this whole 'being worthy to become one of the chiefest of evils that ever walked the earth' thing on our unsuspecting head? I´m positively peachy!" The last words were nearly a shriek.

Gnarl, much to my surprise just nodded and hummed. I had halfway expected a snarky remark about how un-overlord-ish my behavior was. But nope, instead Gnarl simply seemed in thought for a while before he extended his clawed hand to me.

"Are you able to walk for a bit Milady?" He asked, for the very first (and a very short) time, something similar to genuine warmth in his voice. "I want to show you something."

Okay, if this leads to an unsuspecting, white Van with 'Free Candy inside' written on the side, I am sooo out of here!<<

I managed to come to my feet and Gnarl lead me deeper in the into the seemingly endless room. We passed countless shrines and alcoves, my mind still somewhat numb from the info dump I just received. My autopilot still managed to follow Gnarl, his waddle making it rather easy to keep up with him.

After walking for quite a while, suddenly I felt compelled to look at a shrine to my right. The armor that was showcased there was oddly familiar. Simple blackened iron, the skull of a Minion(presumably a Brown) fashioned into the belt buckle and what looked like a Reds skull was fastened to the left knee. The weapon of this Overlord was a simple war axe - the main blade large and looked sharpened to the point it could cleave flesh from bone with ease and on its opposite side sat two sharp spikes. I looked at the plaque, it read 'The Fallen Lord. Successor of the Old Overlord, Slayer of six of the Seven Heroes. Lost in the depths of the Infernal Underworld'. Somehow, that sounded oddly familiar.

"Milady?" Gnarl's voice pulled me out of my musings. "Please look at this."

I looked to where his bony finger pointed. It gave me a little start. During my stay in this Hall of Darkness it looked as if the room went on forever and ever, with no end in sight, but there, in front of me stood what I thought to be the back end and carved into the smooth polished stone was yet another shrine commemorating one of the Overlords, but it was different than the others.

We were standing not ten feet from it but I could see that the shrine was elevated and resting not too far from my feet was a step, followed by two others and the space in the ground between them was carved with runes and hieroglyphs in a language long since forgotten. I stared at Gnarl, who wordlessly urged me to look on, but he himself avoided staring at the shrine, his figure hunched, more so than usual, as if he were afraid to look on.

And me, well, I felt odd just being there. I was not normally a quiet woman, or prone to fits of contemplation but as I stood there, in front of this shrine that was obviously of greater importance than the others, I couldn't help but feel a subtle wave of reverence seeping through my bones.

Swallowing audibly, I let my eyes wander from the cowering form of Gnarl over the hieroglyphs to finally fall on the centerpiece of the shrine, the armor and weapon of the Overlord that was immortalized here.

The first thing that I noticed was that, other than with the other shrines, the armor was actually neatly on display on what I suspected was life sized marble statue of its former wearer. The armor was massive, simple iron plates held in place by broad leather bands. Instead of a helmet, there was something more akin to a circlet crown one would see in old barbarian movies, which worked really well with the fur of a unknown animal that was fashioned around the hips of the armor. Despite the obvious age of this evil exhibit, the slightly sand colored pelt was still in pristine condition. The right gauntlet held onto the mother of all war axes. It was a beast with a handle thick like my wrist and with a single, rectangular blade that looked like it just left the anvil. No scratch, no notch marred it´s simple perfection.

Instead of a plaque, this shrine had words directly engraved into the pedestal. The letters themselves seemed to glow from within like ambers. It simply read 'The First'.

"The First," I said breathlessly.

"Yes, Milady." Came Gnarl's subdued tone. "The first Overlord to come into existence, who set the first precedent for what it means to be an Overlord and began the long and noble dynasty that Your Ladyship is now a part of. Everything, all of it, is only made possible because of him."

I nodded numbly, not trusting myself to do much else as my eyes hungrily devoured the sight before them.

"What's his name?" I asked as soon as I found my voice.

"Nobody knows, Milady. There is not much that is known about the First. He lived so many eons ago, long before my time. Those and the world who knew him are long since dead and everything we minions know about him was passed from those of us who first served with him."

"He's the one who started the whole Overlord thing?"

"Yes, Milady," came the patient reply.

"How?"

Gnarl's eyes lit up. "Ah, that I can answer for you, Milady. The rise of the First was particularly well chronicled by the Minion Master at the time. The First was wise, Milady, much wiser than the feeble warlords and tyrants that came before him. His world was old and had prospered at the hands of good and it's agents and suffered at the hands of those who are evil. The First was the first among us to discover a pattern, a rather simple one, but a very important one nonetheless."

"What was it?"

"Good and evil are opposites to each other, Milady. By their very nature they cannot coexist and yet, there can't be one without the other. The First, in his wisdom, studied the history of his world and his people. He realized that those who serve good and evil will always battle one another, but eventually one side is destined to triumph over the other. When the Emperor Plexus enslaved his kingdom and subjected the known world to half a century of darkness, it seemed unlikely that good and righteousness would be capable to topple his rule. But they did. Good persisted, heroes rose and the tyrannical reign of Plexus was brought to an end. But you see, Milady, even as Plexus couldn't completely stamp out good and kindness, neither could his foes vanquish evil from the world."

"The First realized this and used it to his advantage. When one side triumphs over the other, good against evil, its opposite is destined to usurp and topple it. It is a never-ending cycle that's been going on since the dawn of time. The world of the First had enjoyed peace and prosperity from a long-vanquished evil, you see, and so the First knew the time was ripe for evil to triumph over good and take the world for his own. The First was not only smart, you see. He was also wealthy and born to a loving and influential family. He strove to advance his learning in combat, tactics, the darkest of magics and after many years, he emerged in all his glory. He slaughtered his family, razed his kingdom, spread ills and pestilence and embarked on a campaign to bring the world down to its knees."

"Evil was victorious, but even then the First was wise enough to learn this could never be forever. Good was destined to overcome him and he took steps to ensure that his legacy, that of the Overlord, would live on until the end of time. Nobody knows how he did it, he didn't even tell his most trusted advisers but somehow, upon the moment of his death, the First was able to transcend the limitations of his physical body and spread his consciousness into the Void of reality, to stay, observe and impart his powers and his wisdom on those he deems worthy to carry on his mantle. This is your destiny, Milady."

[…]

After Gnarls little lecture... well, fuck little and lecture, what that little dosser served me was more something along the existence changing lines of 'do or die', 'bird eat or croak' or something like this. Basically he was pointing the frikkin gun at my solar plexus with a warm smile while counting down.

I mean... that was almost too much to comprehend. For me at least.

No matter how I played the almighty Overlady, at the end of the day, I was still me.

Little, old me.

A woman of twenty-six, child at heart, obsessed with pop-culture and gifted with powers beyond anything a mortal should ever have access to, in a world based on a children entertainment show. And I was supposed to throw it into an age of terror and darkness in whichever way the fuck I wanted.

My body must had moved on autopilot because, suddenly I was standing in front of my bedrooms door.

Mechanically I entered the room, closing the door behind me more or less silently by simply giving it a shove.

I let myself slump down on my bed, my helmet falling of my head almost on its own before I removed the headgear and let it clank on the dark stone. After that, I simply let myself fall back onto the bed and blankly stared at the ceiling.

"Hey," a voice called, and I turned to see Zinnia walking through from the bathroom, completely naked with water dripping from her body while she rubbed at her hair with a towel. "You alright?" she asked.

"Heh, sure, I´m as peachy as a pineapple in a blender." I said, already descending halfway into a demented giggling.

Zinnia sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed nearest to my head and began running her fingers through my hair. "What's going on? Walnut again?"

The giggling died in my throat and suddenly I felt the weight of a mountain pressing down on me. "More or less... you see, I was wandering around a bit when I found this... well, this room." I said, leaning a bit into Zinnias caressing. "It´s, well, some sort of Hall of Fame just not with celebrities in the closest sense but with Overlords. Like, from 'The First', that´s his name no joke, over a guy who basically invented most of our spells, a guy that used to slaughter legions just to develop an appetite for breakfast and so on. All the really big names are there. Hell, I think I even saw Lord Rauschingen somewhere in there. He´s named 'The fallen Lord' now or something. Gnarl told me all about them and then some..."

"And now he's pressuring you to get yourself in there." Zinnia sighed again, standing and quickly drying herself before pulling on red leggings, a black skirt and a black spaghetti-strap top. "I swear, one of these days I'm gonna have a little talk with the old bastard..." she growled before turning to me. "So what did he say you'd have to do? Conquer untold land? Murder hundreds of innocent villagers? Find some ancient artifact to prove your worth?"

"I appreciate the offer Zi but I doubt that would help much." I glanced sideways at her while she dressed up. "That´s just the thing, he just told me that only the worthiest Overlords were to get a personal niche in the Hall of Darkness and that the Hall itself would only show itself to a worthy claimant. How I would get my own niche would be up to me and me alone." Letting out a longwinded sigh, I closed my eyes. "And I found the damn thing. What does this say about me Zi? Am I already that far gone that some obscure, sentient room finds me worthy of being amongst the chiefest of evils that ever walked the very earth? "

A hoarse, short laughter escaped my mouth.

"Hey," Zinnia scolded, frowning playfully at me. "You said it was the best Overlords that got in, not the most evil. Those guys just so happened to be." She chuckled, shaking her head. "It's a long shot, but maybe - just maybe - you can get in by using your dark evilness for good!"

Forcing a little smile on my lips, I sighed again "As much as I want to believe that this was a possibility, there is also something else. I´m fairly new to the dark Ruler business but I have seen enough movies, read enough books and hell, even played enough games to see were this most likely is going to. I tried to use my new powers for good, believe me but there were also enough occasions where I..." I hesitated a bit "Sometimes, I hear this voice and it frightens me Zinnia yet I always let it in like an old friend. Mostly when I´m in danger, like during a fight or when I am really, really mad. It´s an oppressive, haunting voice that whispers things into my mind, how to use magic or how to fight correctly. Sometimes it´s like my body gains some sort of autopilot and I am only sitting on the backseat." I reached with my hand towards the ceiling with a grasping motion "And then there are these feelings. When it happens, I feel these urges to... to kill, to eradicate all those who oppose me in the most gruesome way to make an example. When I make them suffer, I feel this... this sick glee and I feel that they exactly got what they deserved because they dared to oppose my will." Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes "It feels like such a rush, so god damn good, making me want more, losing myself in it..." Tears now ran over my cheeks as I reached with both hands ups and dragged the skin on my face downward slightly. "It feels like I am loosing myself just to snap back to normal in an instant..."

"Well then, that's... not what I expected," Zinnia said. "Though I think I know what you mean. I get the same kind of thing sometimes, but mine mainly just tells me to protect those close to me." She paused, shuddering slightly before continuing. "Like when those chimeras attacked. It was like something just... shoved me out of the driver's seat, taking control just so it could keep you safe. I guess it's just whatever instincts our costumes would have had." She paused again, sitting on the bed and pulling me into a hug. "My advice? Listen to it, but try not to give it control. I'm gonna do everything I can to keep mine in check - may even get my Luna to poke around in my head to see what she can find out."

Leaning in to the hug, I simply drunk in Zinnias warmth and her words for a while. "Sounds like a plan Zi. Though I have a distinct idea what might be my little problem but I need to be sure before I do something." I took a deep sniff, my girlfriends wonderful smell calming me a bit "But there is something else that´s eating at me too... it´s about the choices I may or may not make in the future. They say the path to hell is paved with good intentions and that you either die a Hero or live long enough to become the Villain yourself. Sure, not all Villains are bad guys per se but this is motherfucking Equestria we're talking about here. For all I know I just need to show up somewhere, the ponies panic and before I can say 'Hey, I... ' either the Elements or even the Celestial Sisters are descending on my ass, trying to either stone or fry me because they're xenophobic, two-faced hypocrites. This causes me to defend myself, which in turn will only cement the ponies bias that I´m just another evil monster, which causes them to fight even harder and so on until I am sitting atop a throne made of pony skulls amidst a sea of blood..." I looked at Zinnia with a haunted expression "What if I turn into some psychopathic, dark mega bitch who only cares about how many souls she send into eternal damnation today?" I gripped Zinnias hands tight "You wouldn't be able to love me anymore and then you would leave me or even worse we had to fight each other and then..." My breath became more and more shallow as I rambled on.

"My dear, that'll never happen," Zinnia said with a soft, confident smile. "Because I know who you really are. You're a sweet, caring woman who wouldn't hurt a fly unless they deserved it. And nothing you could ever do would ever make me love you any less." She paused, staring into my eyes. "If this world sees you as a villain, then they see me as one too. Because I will support you one hundred percent, no matter what."

As I stared back into Zinnias beautiful eyes, I could feel most of my doubts being washed back into their usual corners, which in turn made me feel a little bit better. "I love you so much Zinnia." I whispered "C-can we kiss... please?" I asked, slightly cocking my head and leaning in a little bit. She just smiled and leaned in, pressing her lips against mine, leaning slightly into me.

With a content moan, I enjoyed the intimate moment. But then I pulled back as I remembered something, something important.

"Ah, I have something for you." I said, leaving the bed and going over to my dresser. It was not the most creative hiding place but hey. A smile graced my lips and a blush my cheeks as my hands found the small package. I pulled the small bundle of cloth out and offered it to Zinnia who was watching me curiously. "Go on... open it."

Zinnia gave me an amused smirk and opened the bundle, revealing a sleek, silvery pipe vambrace long enough to cover the wearers whole forearm. On top of it, two faces were engraved into the metal, depicting a stylized Zinnia and Myself, our foreheads leaning against each other. Surrounding the engraving was a vaguely heart shaped aura of likewise stylized flames.

"I made this for you... well, Welder made it, but I made all the sketches and came up with the design." I explained with a smile "It´s actual armor but also it is saturated with Minion Life Force. One hundred Browns to make the wearer more resilient against basic damage, one hundred Reds to strengthen one's defense against fire and fifty Greens to grant you a minor healing factor. I had not collected enough Blues for an effective buff against magic... "

"It..." Zinnia whispered, sniffling slightly. "It's beautiful... Thank you, Umbra." She smiled, fastening it to her right forearm and flexing it slightly. "A perfect fit. How'd you get that right? Been feeling me up while I was asleep, too?"

Again I blushed a tad at all the praise "You know me, your body is like a siren's call for me. I could spend whole days just stroking and caressing every little centimeter of your lovely body. Oh my... that sounded pretty creepy eh?"

"Not at all," Zinnia said with a smile. "I'd do the same to you, to be honest. And it's not like I don't like being serviced…" she added, her gaze becoming slightly more sultry.

"Don´t I know it?" I retorted with my own bedroom eyes. "I am glad you like it so much love, my gift that is." Leaning in I stole a kiss from Zinnias lips on my own accord before parting again. "As much as I enjoyed your vacation here Zi, there is something nagging in my mind. If it was my decision, you would stay here till Groundhog Day but you have your own Verse to take care of, a son that needs his momma. Not to mention that Whip is probably walking up the walls by now. It´s been a week here but in your Verse, it could be years for all we know." A hint of sadness colored my voice. "You need to go home for a while at least love."

"It's probably been about three weeks, since three days in my world was one here." Zinnia sighed, standing up. "But you're right, who knows what Darkrai's gotten up to while I was away. Before I go, though, what would you say to establishing some kind of link between our worlds? Like a doorway, instead of having to use the tokens every time we wanna see each other."

"You're reading my thoughts love." I chuckled "And I just have an idea where to start searching for such a spell. I think it’s high time to pay Ponyville and a certain library a visit. Until then, we have to make do with our tokens."

"Well if you're going to Ponyville, then I'm not going home yet," Zinnia huffed, crossing her arms. "Like I said, you're not going through this alone. May as well introduce the both of us to them if they're gonna freak." She paused before grumbling out a "Stupid racist ponies..."

"As much as I wanted that, I must insist that you go back to Stryker, my love. Besides, it is not like I was gonna go flaunting my hot body to those ponies because I have this." I concentrated and cast my Illusion spell that I had refined over the last weeks. As the spell finished I looked like a Unicorn pony with a female Big Macintosh´s build, brown, short mane and tail in a bedhead style, black fur and yellow eyes. "Hi, my name is Umbra Illusion, nice to meet you." I said chipperly.

"You may find this weird," Zinnia said, grinning sheepishly. "But I so wanna do you in that form. It wouldn't be the first time I've had some fun with a non-anthro pony, but it probably would be the hottest."

I returned the grin with my own. "Not at all Zi, I´d love to. Next time though. Would be nice to get some proper input in that form, to see if I get all the details right." I canceled the spell out. "I can do other things with it too. Takes a lot Mana at first but could be pretty much worth it."

Zinnia sighed. "I guess I should go then," she said with a sad smile. "If I don't, I'll just keep stalling."

"I know, I would probably too." I hugged Zinnia close and gave her a longer lasting, more sensual kiss before taking a step back. "I wish you best luck my love. Please give Stryker a hug from me and Whip a slap on the butt." I gave a wink. "Zinnia, our contract is complete."

A large, black spectral dragon's head appeared behind Zinnia, stars sparkling in its scales as it reared back, preparing to lunge. Just as it was about to swallow her, though, it paused, sniffing at her before roaring in anger and diving back into the ground.

"Uh..." Zinnia muttered, a bead of sweat falling down her head. "I swear this never normally happens."

"Uhuh," I muttered "Still scared the everloving dickens outta me. What the hell was that?"

"I dunno why, but I get taken back to my world by a Void Dragon eating me," Zinnia explained with a shrug. "Might have something to do with the fact that a dragon ate me to displace me in the first place."

"That´s nearly as good as disintegrating in front of a huge crowd and your best friend." I rubbed my head a bit. "Sooo, now what?"

"I... have no idea." Zinnia slumped over, sighing. "I'm trapped here. As much fun as we could have, and as much as I love you, I kinda liked the fact that I had the option to go home."

After a while of thinking I asked "Zi, that little sentence should normally send a summoned Displaced back home right? Maybe I said it wrong?"

"Nah, you said it exactly how I always do. And some don't even say it at all." Zinnia sighed again, leaning on her hands with her elbows on her knees. "As long as you've been summoned, it works."

Suddenly I smacked my forehead with my palm. "Gods, I´m so dense sometimes! Zi, you weren't summoned, you hitched a ride with me!"

"…" Zinnia stared at me blankly for a moment before falling back onto the bed. "...I'm so dumb. Summon me then send me home, that should work." She turned her gaze to me, a small smile on her face. "Please tell me that my stupidity is cute? I kinda need a pick-me-up."

"Your stupidity is Sweetie Bell and Dinky Hooves level cuteness my love. It´s weapon grade stuff." I smiled and took Zinnias anklet from its resting place on my dresser. "Okay, here we go. Zinna, I summon you."

Zinnia disappeared from her position on the bed with a small blink of purple light, appearing directly above me soon after and taking me down as she fell. We tumbled to the ground, Zinnia on top of me and my arms around her, and she took the opportunity to get in one last kiss, slipping her tongue into my mouth for good measure.

"Hey there," she said with a grin once she pulled away.

"Hey there too." I grinned back and squeezed her butt in turn for the last time before saying "Zinnia, our contract is complete. Now off with you, my crazy love."

The dragon appeared again, seeming to sneer at us for a moment before it lunged. I simply flipped the bird at the ethereal asshole.

"Lick you later, Umbra!" Zinnia called as the spectral dragon's jaws snapped around her, exploding into a cloud of pink dust.

I simply laid there for a while, relishing in the residual feeling of Zinnias lips on my and her butt in my hands. After standing up, I looked at the pink mess the dragon had left. "Hmm, that stuff... looks almost like, what was it called again? Stardust?" I pondered. "Wasn´t that stuff worth a good penny?"

Hey Gnarl?<<

Yes Milady? What can I do for you?<<

Send some Minions with dust pans, hand brooms and bags into my chambers. I got some stuff for the treasure chamber here.<<

Oohh, what is it Milady?<< Gnarl asked with a unmistakable hint of, well, greed in his voice.

Pink magical dragon splooge.<< I answered after a short moment. The shocked silence I got in return was so totally worth it.

Author's Note

Exposition! Worldbuilding! Actually moving on with the plot!!!
*Bam~bam~baaaaaaa~*

This chapter was brought to you in collaboration with ArreClonClipo. Let me hear it for this fantastic guy folks!

11. Horsing around

- 11. Horsing around –

“Let it go, let it go. I'm one with the evil flo~hoow!”

I strode out of my bathroom, fresh from the shower, the only thing covering me a towel wrapped around my midsection and singing my own version of yet another trademarked Disney song on top of my lungs. Damn, I could have been a good voice actress. I don’t know what that stupid Gnarl and those stupid Minions were complaining about, pulling at their ears, howling in misery and going into convulsive fits as I graced the whole tower with my dulcet tones. I was killing it, baby!

It was just yesterday that Gnarl dropped the “Destiny Bomb” on me and as depressing as it may have been, I could not help but sing. Partly because I knew that, no matter what path I would choose, I would have the support of my loving girlfriend but mostly because I picked up the habit of singing in the shower from my Dad. I don’t care what Mom, my Brother and the Neighbors (and the Neighbors’ dogs down the whole block) said, we brought down the house.

Also, I speculated that there was something in the air/water/everything here in colorful horsey land that made you prone to burst into spontaneous musical numbers after prolonged exposure.

Spreading my arms wide, I strode onto my balcony, still trailing enough water to make the floor under my feet slippery and relished the feeling of the warm rays the morning sun saw fit to send my way.

“Here I stand and here I stay. Fate bring it ooo~hoon! The Darkness never bothered me anyways.”

Okay girl, now a sultry smile and a half-lidded gaze that would turn straight woman gay… or at least bi in an instant. Hold the posture for a moment. Now turn, throw your still half wet hair aaa~aand exit stage left!<<

With a big, stupid smile plastered on my face and a merry tune in my lips, I went back into my bedchambers, with the plan to dry myself and get clothed. Things were looking up at the moment, and I was doing quite well. My Minion forces grew in strength and number by the day, Patches ran a tight ship on the Diamond Dog mine, extracting many a shiny goodies that steadily filled up my treasure chamber and in spite of my misgivings about becoming the next great Overlord(and first Overlady) I couldn’t help but feel… content, at ease. However, it was at this exact same moment that that asshole Murphy and his cunt Fate simultaneously decided to join forces to answer my blatant challenge just moments earlier, as they not only pissed into my cornflakes but also saw it fit to dump a whole septic truck into them.

Not a moment passed after I dropped the towel that covered the whole of me, ready to reach for some undies, that a high pitched, gleeful squeak, definitely not mine, brought the inner workings of my mind to a resounding crash.

In a series of jerky, twitchy motions, my head turned towards the source of the sound and there, in the center of my private, I repeat private chambers, sitting down like a doggy as if she owned the place, was none other than a certain mint-colored and slightly vibrating unicorn with the widest, most face splitting grin I have ever had the questionable pleasure to witness.

“Eeeeeeeeh! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, a real live Human. A. Real. Live. Human! This is the single most glorious day of my entire existence!” the pony gushed, her eyes opened in such a way that I was afraid her eyeballs might pop out any second now, and her front hooves clapping together in a excited and admittedly very cute way.

All I could do was staring in silent disbelief as Lyra Fucking Heartstrings got to her hooves and did a little victory dance, for the lack of better words, right in front of me.

“I knew you existed, I just knew it!” the mare proclaimed, beaming, cantering over to me and giving me a thorough once over from head to toe. “Everypony told me it was a waste of time, that I was hunting nothing but faded shadows and that my interest in cryptozoology and anthropology would never bear any fruit, but the moment I heard that mare’s tales about a bipedal and unknown creature with hands deep inside the Badlands I knew that I had finally found you!”

Wait, what?<<

Her horn lit up with a yellow aura, enveloping both my hands, which got tugged on until they were just a few centimeters away from Lyra´s snout. No kidding, I could feel her hot, slightly erratic stalker breath on them!

“Five digits, five! Not unlike a Minotaur´s but the tips are rounded instead of pointy. The opposable thumb is the same from the looks of it,” Lyra stated like a scientist examining a new specimen, turning my hands around, making my fingers flex and curl, even poking my palm with her hoof. “Each finger has what looked like a regressed claw of sorts on top of it. Maybe a remnant from evolutionary steps as some kind of active predator to the current form? Uuuuhh, this is so exciting!” Her voice rose until it was very much just a squeak at the end. “And what is this?” Then, to my horror, the small pony rose on two legs and promptly began to fondle my girls with curious hooves. Did surprisingly felt not even half bad. Lyra´s frogs where really soft. “Are these… mammaries? And so high up on the body! I suppose it makes sense since Humans are a bipedal species. Oh! Then that must mean you don’t lay down to suckle your young. You can just hold them in your arms. Hmm, yes, that must be it. Your limbs seem to be able to bend to a degree where babies would be able to slurp your teats with minimal fuss and…”

Yep, that did it. Finally breaking out of my dumbfounded state, a shrill, high-pitched shriek left my mouth as I bent down, swiping the now cold towel and clumsily jumped back and away from the weird little, now officially human obsessed pony, who still looked at me with a goofy, triumphant smile. After hastily covering the goods from sight I did the only sensible thing someone in my situation could do. I yelled on top of my lungs.

“GNAA~ARL!!!”

The echo of my cry had not yet faded as the telltale pitter-patter of several pairs of Minions’ feet grew in volume until Gnarl and a group of at least a dozen armed Browns, the larger ones that were standing guard everywhere and never seemed to leave my Tower, barged into my chambers.

“Milady, what happened?” My winded looking Minion Master inquired, leaning heavily on his cane. “What in the name of everything dark possessed you to scream like that?”

“What possessed me is THAT!” I hissed, my face still on fire from embarrassment and jabbed a finger at the quite literal pony in the room, still smiling like nothing was going on. “Care to explain how a brightly colored equine managed to not only sneak into my Tower, past every single Minion on her way up here without being detected, but right into my private chambers?!?”

At least the Minions had the good sense to look at their feet sheepishly while Gnarl bore an expression that spoke more of hurt pride, but before he could answer, the equine intruder made herself known again.

“Uuuuh, what are those? Are they some kind of magical familiars? Is this a thing all Humans have?” Lyra inquired eagerly, trotting over to my useless kobolds, causing a discussion to erupt between them whether or not the weird creature was a new sort of sheepy. One Minion even pointed out that she looked like a baby Unicorn, just green. That guy must have been a Blue in a past life.

“Ugh, Gnarl, take her to the throne room and make sure she stays there. I´ll get dressed and deal with her myself,” I groaned, dragging my palm down my face.

“Very well,” my advisor gave a minimalistic bow. “You there, Minions. Bind that crook and take it to Her Ladyship’s throne room.”
The Guard Minions complied with astounding speed and competence, tying Lyra´s legs together with a rope they got from seemingly thin air and used one of their long halberds to carry the incapacitated Unicorn away like some hunting prey in an old documentary.

Hehe, all that´s missing now are some jungle beats in the background and bones in the noses of my Minions.<<

Said mare, of course, voiced her own thoughts over this treatment. “Hey, wait… what are you…? You can't do that! Unhoof me this instant! Or is it ‘unhand’ in this case, seeing as none of you have hooves? Anyways…”

“Oh for the Love of Darkness, shut up!” Gnarl barked, ordering the Minions to quicken their pace so they could get rid of the loudmouthed pony.

“Wonderful, there goes my day and the morning is not even over yet.” I sighed and turned to get dressed.
I had a pony to deal with.

[…]

Decked out in my full armor and with the Beast secured at my belt, I stared at the doors to my throne room. Gnarl had met me halfway to tell me that the Unicorn had been secured and was awaiting her fate.

“Okay girl, you can do that. It´s just a little, colorful Unicorn, no big deal. Just go in there, scare the hopefully not-literal horseapples out of her and then send her on her way with the promise of unending torment should she ever breathe a single word to everyone about this.” I tried to pump myself up, but failed horribly. Somehow, I just knew this would not be nearly as easy as I wished it would be. Hell, I could almost feel Murphy lurking behind the next corner, smiling wider than Professor Genki with a rusty chainsaw in a room full of blind Orphans!

“Fuck, let’s just do this!”

With that I pushed the doors to my throne room open and entered. I found Lyra sitting right in the middle of the room, just like Gnarl told me. But unlike Gnarl told me, the Unicorn was free of her bindings. Just as the doors closed behind me with a heavy boom, the last of Lyra's magical aura around her horn died down and the ropes that held her fell to the ground.

Duh! Unicorn equals magic! Of course some simple ropes would not hold her. Not to self, for the future, get some sort of magical restraint thingies.<<

With a silent groan, I marched over to my throne and sat down, my elbows resting on my knees and my hands forming a pyramid in front of my face as I leaned forward and stared at the little equine intruder. I swear to everything, her eyes were sparkling with more highlights than Giffany´s when Soos complimented her.

“Given your situation, you seem awfully giddy. Being alone, kilometers away from the next of your kind, outnumbered and completely at my mercy,” I stated, my voice as even as possible as I peered at Lyra from the depths of my helmet. She began to vibrate, literally.
“Oh, of course I am giddy! This is just… you! You just proved that I was right all along. Humans do exist! All those neighsayers back in Canterlot and in Ponyville…” Lyra began to ramble. Better to nip that in the bud.

“I´m afraid I am not a Human, Miss Heartstrings,” I stated with a disquietingly calm voice, causing her ears to go flat for a second before perking up again.

“Eheheee, that was a good one. Humans sure have a strange sense of humor.” The mare in front of me forced out a strained laugh. That I just said her name did not even register, it seemed.

“Oh, I´m not joking.” Now that got her. Her smile faltered as she strained to keep it up, almost as if she was unwilling to believe otherwise, or that I was merely jesting. I made no move to correct that, and allowed the ensuing silence to speak for itself. Lyra´s pupils shrunk and her smile now took on a slightly alarming quality. It looked almost painful to keep up.

“O~kay… heheheee… that joke has gone far enough now…” Lyra said uncertainly, her voice gaining a desperate and at the same time demented quality. “You are clearly a Human!” she suddenly shouted as her mood did a one eighty from giddy to hysteric, getting on her hooves, her eyes going hard, teeth bared and pointing an accusatory appendage at me.

Her whole body stiffened, her ears began to twitch erratically before they folded back in what clearly was a sign of aggression, and her pupils shrunk to pin-pricks. She looked predatory, to tell the truth. Hell, I might have been scared had she been anything but a cuddly, soft looking pony.

“You walk on two legs! You have hands! There is no fur on your whole body except on your head… and, well, your marehood, I guess.” Lyra listed off, taking a step towards me with every point she crossed off her list. “You. Are. A. Human!” she burst out with a manic scream at the end, huffing and staring at me as if daring me to contradict her claims.

That moment, I just had it. Not only did this puny, little horse have the gall to walk into the very heart of my dark dominion and my private rooms like she owned the place, no, she also had the nerve to yell at me like I was some kind of low-life peon?
I rose up, my hand engulfed in magical flames as I called my Mana reserves into existence, and before the full weight of her mistake could settle in to the impudent Unicorn’s inferior mind, a football sized Fireball soared past her head, missing by a few centimeters and singed her two colored mane before bursting into impact on a far wall.

“Humans don't have magic,” I stated coldly, my voice growing in force and volume with each word. “Humans don´t use the souls of their slain victims to summon obedient familiars to tear the world asunder, and Humans surely do not exist with the sole purpose of bringing a new Age of Darkness over the world!” I yelled back at the now backpedaling and very fearful looking Lyra while approaching her with heavy, thunderous steps. “Humans don't survive being dropped into a planet’s atmosphere and crashing onto the surface at terminal velocity, getting their heads split in two with a war axe or being ripped to shreds by a Chimera! Nor... can they hop... between... realities!” I loomed over the shivering and cowering Unicorn, who at this point seemed to realize how colossally she screwed up, head ducked, not meeting my smoldering gaze and trembling hooves covering her face. I leaned down and grabbed Lyra’s chin with my armored hand, roughly lifting her tear-streaked face to allow her a good view into the depths of my helmet and my glowing eyes. “I, on the other hand can do all that, little Unicorn. I may have a humanoid body but that is as far as any resemblance goes. I am a purebred Demon. I am the Dark Ruler of the Netherworld and Mistress of Minions. The Bane of Heroes! I am but the incarnation of all things dark and evil! I... am... the Overlady!” By the end of my tirade, Lyra’s body was wracked by violent fits of terror, as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice on her. Her pupils dilated, her ears had disappeared in her mane and her tail was tugged firmly between her legs, her very body screaming of fear and submissiveness.

Straightening myself, I strolled back to my throne and made myself comfortable, watching the mint colored pony before me. >>That´s right, fear me you little shit!<< I thought with savage glee as the small pony cowered, hooves over her eyes and doing a piss poor job of hiding her piddly little sobs..

…

Hitting the mental brakes with both feet simultaneously, I inhaled deeply, shoving the thoughts of violence and domination raging through my mind back into the dark crevices they crawled from. Exhaling slowly, I leaned forward again and spoke in a less menacing but still very firm voice.

“However, I am far from being a heartless monster, little pony.” Though her sobs did not stop, she had enough sense to peek at me with one eye. “Because I feel really generous today, I will allow you to leave my Tower with not only your body but also your mind and soul intact. All under the condition, of course, that you will swear on your immortal soul never to even breathe the slightest hint of anything you have seen here today to another living being.“

A smile grew on my lips as I watched Lyra absorb my words like a dry sponge to water. Good, good, I had her attention, now to drive this home.

“Tell you what, little Unicorn, I am even willing to give you a nice sum of bits from my treasury. Enough for you to live comfortable on yourself or maybe even with a significant other for a loo~oong time. No stress, no work, just live la vida loca. All you need to do is keep that little snout of yours shut. Doesn't that sound like a sweet deal, hn? Come on, take it,” I finished in my best Temptress voice.
With immense satisfaction, I observed Lyra´s whole body transmitting her train of thought. Her shivering died down, her ears rose up again and she even managed to stand up, looking at me with an even expression.

She was sooo taking my offer. Course she was, no one with his or her right mind would not take the opportunity to not only save one’s own hide but to take a hefty sum of cash back home, all for just keeping your trap shut.

“No!”

I nodded, pleased it all went to plan. “Wonderful, I’ll let my Minions… wait, no?!?” I nearly fell comically from my throne (a rather impressive feat, considering I was sitting down securely) as Lyra´s answer settled in.

I hastened to reclaim as much dignity as I could and smoothly righted myself. I searched Lyra’s face for any hint of jesting or deceit, anything that would help alleviate the incoming migraine making itself more and more known as the seconds ticked by. “Hehe, okay, I get it. You just wanted to demonstrate that you have a sense of humor too. Very good, you almost had me.” I said, my voice wavering and tremulous as I set my helmet back on correctly, since it had slipped during my near fall.

She’s joking…. She has to be!<<

But the stubborn little meatbag saw it fit to defy my expectations once more, for her posture straightened and that determined glint I thought I’d snuffed out of her came back full force. “I'm serious!”

Well, shit. At least she is not Severus.<<

“I will not go alone and I will certainly not keep my mouth shut about your existence!” Lyra was almost back to yelling in an instant. “Keep your gold and your promises to yourself, I will not stay silent!” she exclaimed and stomped her hoof for extra emphasis.

Great, now I definitely felt a migraine coming.

I closed my eyes, took a deep, calming breath, and opened them again. My blood still simmered. Taking another calming breath, I tried it again. Yeah, that’s better. “Now, now, let's not be hasty yes?” I dropped my menacing facade at this point, hoping friendliness was the key. “Okay, you are not interested in bits but, surely I can interest you in something, anything? Come on, tell me. What is your heart’s desire? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can work something out.” A thought suddenly popped into my head and I snapped my fingers. Well, tried to, anyway. They were still armored... “Ha! How about a spot of revenge against all those mean ponies who laughed at you? Just say the word and they won't know what hit them. Or maybe it is knowledge you crave? While I'm not a Human myself, I have had my fair share of experience with them and would part with some of it in exchange for your compliance.”

Using her own obsession to make her comply. Damn, I’m good! That, she had to take!

Again, Lyra stomped her hoof, this time accompanied by a, I must admit, rather aggressive snort. “I said no and I mean it!” the Unicorn barked, going so far as to snarl at me, her earlier fear forgotten. “You will come with me, one way or another and then I will prove to the whole world and those who laughed at me that I was right all along. Not. Insane! Buck, if I have to, I'll even drag your sorry plot all the way from here to Canterlot and present you to Celestia and Luna themselves!” With her tirade done and with a renewed sense of determination, her horn lit up with that telltale yellow glow and she levitated the discarded rope in the air in what she must have though without a doubt to be an intimidating manner.

Respect where it was due, lil´ol´ Harpbutt had a bigger pair than most guys I knew. Not that it helped her that much. In fact, all her little power display served was to fan the increasingly growing flames of my own anger, although bush fire would have been a more fitting term right now. How could a single Pony be so thick-headed?
“Darkness, why must you be such a stubborn Mule?” I hissed, leaving my throne and closing the distance between Lyra and I with just a few steps, glaring down at her again.

°°°

[Ponyville]

Just in this moment, in the middle of the lively town, a mule by the name of Maurice sat outside of the popular Café Clover, enjoying a light snack as he felt his ears twitch. Looking around, he failed to notice anything out of the ordinary, just ponies going about their daily lives.
Shrugging it off as his imagination, Maurice returned to his delicious daisy and alfalfa sandwich, but for the rest of the day, he was unable to shake of the feeling that he should feel offended for some reason.

°°°

“Do you honestly expect to just walk away from this? The whole Tower is chock full with violence prone Minions that are just itching to tear into your soft, little pony body at the flimsiest of excuses. Can't you see that I’m trying to save your stubborn, ungrateful horse plot here?” My voice was low and sharp enough to be used as a razor.

This, however, resulted not in the reaction I had expected. Fear or maybe anger, sure, but I had not for the life of me, expected Lyra to stare at me defiantly while tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“I don’t bucking care!” she yelled and in a move that stunned me into temporary stasis, the defiant pony reared up on her hind legs, propping her front hooves against my hips. I stared down at her dumbfounded, while she reciprocated with a glare. “I'm not going back without proof of your existence, not without something to prove that I am right… that I was right all along! Not until I leave with something that will clean up my name!” The sheer force of her voice was unexpected for such a cuddly little creature, and still I could not help but watch as she poured her little, blessed heart out. “Ever since my days in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, since my days in the Canterlot Orchestra I got ridiculed, made fun of and stepped on. Just for my belief that Humans do exist.” Her lip trembled, her eyes became even morewatery and she bent her head, not meeting my eyes and rested her noggin atop my armored navel. “Do you have even the slightest idea how miserable my life has been for the last several years?”

Sweet Mary and Joseph, I could not help but feel sorry for the poor thing. Her body trembled, as did her voice and it was obvious she was fighting back tears. A battle that she was losing miserably.

“I lost my job in the Canterlot Orchestra and nopony in the whole Luna damned city wanted to hire ‘crazy Lyra’, not even Hay Burger! I… I had no choice but to move to Ponyville because I was not able to pay the rent for my apartment anymore and, and, oh, Celestia... my marefriend Bon Bon was forced to shut down her candy shop in Canterlot too, because all those flankholes would boycott her! She never did anything wrong in her life. She’s such a wonderful pony and those jerks drove her out of her home for no other reason that she and I were a couple!”

That took me aback, honestly. Sure, I more or less suspected that even in the saccharine land of smiles and sunshine that was Equestria there would be some dark shadows that would not be amiss in Human society. Still, to imagine it went that far…. That seemed pretty grim. Crystal Flask not included.

Tears and snot were now flowing freely, staining the coat of the little trembling Unicorn that nonetheless stared up to me in desperation, like a drowning person would look at a nearby lifesaver. My eye twitched as I saw a glint of moisture trailing along my navel, but I managed to suppress a shudder.

Regardless, it seemed Lyra was not yet done pouring it all out, figuratively and literally speaking. “Oh, of course Bonnie told me that it was nothing to worry about, that she would simply open up a new shop in Ponyville but it didn’t matter what she said... I am not stupid! I noticed that something was off.” She sniffed. “She was supportive of me at first, you know,” she said quietly. “Bon Bon, I mean. We were in love, and she was so understanding… so nice. She didn’t judge me like everypony else. But then I went and mucked it all up,” she added bitterly. “Over time, she grew more and more… cold… distant… like she had lost her hope in me…” Lyra paused as a hiccup shook her, and where not moments before she stood defiant and unyielding like a mountain, her form was now akin to the most fragile and delicate china. “Of course I noticed and tried to tone down my obsession, oh Celestia, how I tried, but I could not help it. As soon as this mare in Dodge City told us about how she encountered you out here… it all came back stronger than ever, it was like I was possessed. I packed my stuff and went out here, I think I did not even say a proper goodbye to Bon Bon. I bet she even thinks that I finally went over the edge, lost my mind and has moved out already… Celestia, she is probably even preparing for a divorce…” Lyra was bawling at this point and leaned her head against my hip.

And me? Well, I just wanted to take her in my arms, stroke her mane and tell her that everything would be fine. Of course someone had to ruin that, and this someone was Lyra.

“My life is ruined… my social life… my love life… unless I bring proof,” she babbled before raising her head again, staring at me with puffy, reddened eyes “Concrete proof that Humans really do exist. And if I cannot even do that, than I would rather die right here, at the hands of a Human.”

“Y-you don’t mean that!” I said more than a little aghast.

“It’s a better fate than to keep suffering the miserable pile of manure that is my life for even one more second.” she stated with an eerie calm, as if she had already made peace with her life and was really willing to die for such a stupid reason.

I was shocked, to put it mildly. This was not in the least how I imagined my first contact with Ponykind. A run in with the Mane Six, or just one of them, or maybe Luna would find my dreams again (which would propably never happen as long as I slept in the Tower since the Tower Heart somehow managed to disrupt almost any attempts of Scrying Spells and/or Dreamwalking, as Gnarl had told me a while ago), hell, maybe even the Crusaders! But totally not this.

“Woah now, girl! Let's calm down a tad ok? Talking about ending your life over a matter like that, that’s not a thing you should speak about lightly.” I rushed out in a slight panic.

Hope glimmered in Lyra's big, amber colored eyes. “T-then does that mean you will come with me?”

“Wha?~ No!”

And like that, the hope was gone again. “Then I am not going anywhere!” Lyra half yelled, half hiccupped.

“Gah, you stubborn idiot! Why do you want to throw away your life so badly?” My frustration was beginning to tear down my inhibitions and with each passing moment, the urge to simply comply to that suicidal Unicorn’s wishes began to look really, really tempting. “Just go back home, apologize to Bon Bon and be done with it. Do something productive with your life, write a book about your theories for all I care!”

“No!” Lyra yelled at me, stomping her hooves and all defiant like, not unlike a child throwing a tantrum.

I’d just had about enough of this, and what sympathy and pity I held for the increasingly unhinged pony was quickly being replaced by an all too familiar sensation. A sensation that even this suicidal mare would think twice about provoking.

“Argh, why you little! Do you really wanna die so badly? Is that what you want? Is that really fine with you?” I snarled back, my mind already well in the process of losing itself to that irresistible haze. Mana flowed into my left palm, condensing into electricity, and even then, I had the mind to make a particularly flashy and loud show in the hopes of discouraging the weird little midget horse.
Not that it worked, of course.

“YES!” Tears streamed down Lyra´s cheeks, marking trails along her fur.

“FINE!” I took a step forward, magical lightning crackling around my armored hand. >>Come on, back out already! Run, for fucks sake!<<

“FINE!” Lyra's voice was on the verge of cracking as she lowered her body a bit in what I only could assume to be some kind of battle stance with her horn somewhat trained at me. My brow rose just a bit. Obviously Lyra´s instincts where at least in some minuscule ways overriding her conscious decisions.

I took two defensive steps backwards and took a stance myself.

The green Unicorn’s horn lit up with a flickering aura.

That was all the reason I needed, for even though I highly doubted that Lyra could produce anything that would be able to seriously hurt me, my self-preservation instincts kicked in and I let loose with my own spell.

The Corruption Spell collided with Lyra like a ton of bricks, lifting the little equine off her hooves and sent her flying backwards a good few meters. The piercing cry of agony that followed was more or less expected at this point.

And man, could she scream. The electric barrage pounded Lyra's body relentlessly and ear-splitting screams tore from her throat as I felt her resistance being whipped away like a paper screen by a point blank nuke blast. It was almost like she was not putting up any resistance at all.

Corruption, a spell that more than lives up to its name. Up till now, I’ve mostly used it in a purely offensive way, harnessing its power to completely obliterate those who would oppose me into nothingness. But just as its name implies, Corruption’s true potential lied in overriding the mind of an enemy, crushing it, eroding it, and leaving the resulting shell a suitable template to impose my will as I saw fit.
As I stood there, watching the diminutive Unicorn writhe on the ground before me, wracked by unspeakable pain, I felt my will seep into Lyra's mind like water into a dry sponge, overriding her free will with nothing but awe and total devotion to me. I knew instinctively that were I to keep my spell up just a bit longer, Lyra’s mind would soon crumble, leaving her reduced to little more than a barren shell of herself, a mindless drone to do, use and break as I pleased.

This thought was… it was enticing. Deliciously so.

Scarily so...

No! A desperate voice screamed in the back of my head, overriding the sense of domination that was so entrenched in place. It happened just in time to make me realize that if I held my spell for even just a second longer, the Corruption’s effects would begin to eradicate Lyra´s memories, her personality and her entire being.

How I came to realize exact this, I did not know but it was like a bitchslap from a heavyweight boxer, filling my stomach with cold dread and sharpening my senses to an uncanny degree.

I tried, so tried to stop. I tried to lower my hand, to stem the flow of the Corruption, yet my limb seemed possessed by a will of its own. With one last act of desperation, I gripped my wrist with my free hand and yanked as hard as I could, effectively disrupting the Mana flow, forcing my spell to angrily splutter into nothingness and for a split-second the hairs on the back of my neck stood, for I could have sworn that a heavy, oppressing presence stood just behind me, but that feeling evaporated together with my spell.

What this meant, I did not know, but I knew it couldn’t possibly be good. Still, I was all too aware what I’d just done, so I pushed these thoughts aside for the moment and rushed over to the prone and profusely smoking form of Lyra Heartstrings. For a few agonizing moments that seemed to stretch, out I feared her heart might have just quit on her, that I… that I had just murdered her. Remorse and guilt hit me like a tidal wave, the ache inside me even more powerful than Gerhard’s and Adebar´s demise by a magnitude. She was so still, so unmoving that I could not help but cover my mouth and tried to suppress a choked sob.

“Not again…. Fuck! Not again, please…” I whimpered and fell to my knees.

It’s moments like these that I wonder whether or not I am becoming a monster, and whether or not I have a say in it. Had I been without the Overlord’s influence, would I still be overcome by bouts of sadism, violence and uncontrollable anger? Or would I still be my little ol’ lovable, goofy, romantic self? And would I still be alive right now? What would my friends say? My Mom, my Dad, my little Brother…. If they saw this, all the bad things I’ve done, would they still be able to recognize me?

That thought was almost too unthinkable to ponder.

A little sound, a cough, barely perceptible but still there, resonated in the otherwise empty space of the throne room. I froze, my gaze turned upwards and there, as by some miracle, Lyra’s little body moved in tandem with her breaths. I let loose an involuntary gasp of joy and anguish as little by little, Lyra’s breaths grew in strength and was subsequently overcome by a fit of coughs, no doubt due to the strain her chords were put to as she screamed in unthinkable agony.

The thought made my heart ache all the more.

“Lyra?” I whispered.

I got no immediate response save for the Unicorn's steady breathing and I could not help but cradle her small form to me. She was warm… and cuddly even through my thick armor.

“Lyra? Can you hear me? Say something.” I asked nervously, my voice already dangerously bordering on pleading.
Her eyelids slowly flickered open and dull, amber colored eyes found mine, looking at me with an unreadable expression, and with a likewise dull, soft voice, she said, “Something.”

Simultaneously, tears blurred my vision as my heart prepared to rip itself out of my chest and my breathing began to dissolve in hitched sobs, because I just transformed an innocent Unicorn whose only crime was to try to redeem herself in the eyes of a society that ridiculed her and made her life hell on earth, into a soulless puppet.

Then something happened that took me by absolute surprise. I felt my armor shift slightly as I received my very first ponyhug ever.
I looked down and meet the gaze of a sheepishly smiling Lyra.

“Master… please, don't cry. I don't meant to make you feel bad. I… I thought it might be funny…” she said pleadingly, her voice quiet, genuine regret coloring her words and the way her ears folded back into her mane told me that she still had full access to her emotional palette.

I stared wordlessly at the Unicorn clinging to me. I felt conflicting emotions waging a bloody and merciless war inside my mind. Part of me wanted to strangle Lyra for this shitty joke that gave me the scare of the century, another part wanted to just use the opportunity to hug the stuffing out of her until she could only squeak like a dog toy, and yet another part just wanted to laugh as loud as I could in pure relief. So I did. I laughed and laughed, allowing the gamut of broiling emotions inside me to be let out, sitting in the middle of my throne room with Lyra tightly in my embrace. How long I just sat there, I don´t know but at some point, Lyra made herself known timidly.

“Uhm… Master… not that I did not enjoy getting hugged by you but… er, well… this is getting kinda awkward.” She mumbled in a low voice.

That brought me back and immediately I let go of minty mini horse. Said minty mini horse trained her unholy huge, now slightly less red eyes, on me. Both the little equine and I rose to our feet/hooves and for the span of a few moments we fidgeted in place, not knowing how to proceed.

“So… uhm… what now?”

That was indeed a good question Harpbutt just presented me with. As tempting as keeping Lyra around in my Tower was, it would produce more problems for me in the long run. For all I knew, it was only a matter of time before search parties would be deployed to search for the human-crazed pony, leaving no stone unturned and knowing my luck and the perverse pleasure by which Murphy and Fate seemed determined to stalk me, I wouldn't put it past any well intentioned ponies to stumble across my Tower. No, I had to do something else, something that would yield positive results for me and Lyra at the same time.

“Aha!” I exclaimed “Got it.”

Lyra looked at me with expecting eyes.

“You will go back to Ponyville…”

“What? No! Master, I want to stay with you!” Lyra interrupted before I shut her up with my finger firmly pressed against her lips.

“Let me finish servant.” I hissed “You will go back to Ponyville, where you will act as my spy. You will keep a watchful eye on Celestia´s little pupil Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her little friends, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. You will keep me up to date on whatever happens in your little town, seeing as Twilight still has a very close connection to your Princess of the Sun. That way, I can keep my own operations running while you notify me should someone ever get suspicious. Do you understand? Your position will be crucial to me, vassal, enabling me to stay hidden long enough to gather enough strength until keeping my presence in Equestria a secret will not be necessary anymore,” I stated, nodding satisfied with my impromptu plan.

As for Lyra, her face morphed from fear to disbelief and finally to glee, looking ready to tackle-hug me but she stopped herself on the last instant and instead opted to tear up with her hooves held in front of her mouth in this typical teeny ‘Oh my gosh!’ fashion. Thankfully she did not said it. Even if she was just the multiversal manifestation of a background character straight out of an American cartoon for little girls, I would probably have bitch slapped her thirteen ways into next week until she would have stopped using this fucking censor-talk.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Lyra rambled positively vibrated on the spot “I promise you will not regret this Master! I will be the best spy ever!” she assured me, her face again nearly split apart by a slightly manic grin.

One of the tiny voices inside my head chose that moment to tell me exactly how much I would come to regret this (admittedly rash) choice in the near future.

Turning around, I beckoned Lyra to follow me, leading her up towards the residential level of my home.

“Where are we going to Master?” my newly christened servant asked from behind me.

“We need to get you back to Ponyville for my plan to work and for that, we'll be taking a little train ride from Dodge City to your hometown. And for that my dear Lyra, we will take a little flight,” I explained to my newest lackey.

Lyra in turn made those little sounds to signify that she had listened carefully only to speak up as we entered the Treasure Chamber. “Wait, flight? How can we fly, Master? Do you have a sky chariot or an airship? Wouldn´t it be easier to fly directly to Ponyville then?”

“Would it be easier? Sure. Would it blow my cover? You can bet your marked flank on that!” I countered, looking around. “And no, I don´t have those. I have something waaay better. Hey Onyx! Get here for a sec, I need your capable claws.”

We did not have to wait long after I called her name, for my dear scaly friend quite literally rose out of a nearby pile of gems, bits and small silver ingots not unlike Smaug when he was first visited by Bilbo. I for my part grinned at the uncanny resemblance while Lyra let out an understandably surprised squeak, starring slack jawed at the still somewhat sleepy Dragoness. No wonder really, seeing as Onyx towered even over me, so she must´ve been a real giant for Lyra.

“Y-you have… a Dragon?” Minty horse squeaked, backing up behind my legs in an undeniably cute fashion.

Said fire breathing, gem-devouring menace to my riches rubbed her eyes and gave an irritated huff. “'Sup Umbra? Why do you always need something from me when I try to take a nap hm? And who´s that pony that's trying to hide behind you?”

“Onyx, meet Lyra. Lyra, meet Onyx,” I introduced with a smirk. “Lyra just happened to waltz into my Tower today and things escalated from there on. Long story short, she is my newest servant now.”

Onyx gave a nod, shoveling a handful of nut sized gems into her waiting maw, grinding the valuable stones into splinters with a few movements of her strong jaws. “And you just woke me up, why?” Onyx asked in a slightly annoyed tone, typical for someone who just wanted to go back to bed. With that at least, I could sympathize.

Putting on my best used-car-salesman smile, I explained the situation to the cranky reptile. “Well, that is a very good story and it deserves a very good answer. You see, we need to get Lyra here back home so her fellow ponies will not start searching for her far and wide which would eventually lead them to discover our location and subsequently my Tower and us.”

“That would be bad why?” Onyx asked visibly bored and/or miffed, kinda hard to tell.

“You are a Dragon, which is a general problem for any little quadrupedal veggie-eaters whose ancestors were prey species, and I look scary as fuck anyways. Plus, I control carnage-loving little kobolds which I create by draining the pure essence of life itself which could be seen as quote, unquote fundamentally evil end by a certain species of peace preaching quadrupeds who also happen to have access to a magical orbital Rainbow canon of Doom, which they love to use on things they see as fundamentally evil.”

That seemed to convince Onyx enough to give me a ‘Go on’ gesture.

“Thank you. As I was saying, to get Lyra here home, we need to board a train in Dodge City so I can get minty horse here back and divert any unwanted attention to our little neck of the mountains.”

“Then what are you standing 'round here? Go get her to that train and be done with it,” Onyx said dismissively, shooting Lyra a look like one would give a particularly bothersome fly.

“Weeell, I would if, you know, Dodge City would be around the next corner. Which it is not. So I thought you could fly us into walking distance.” I offered my best and most winning smile to Onyx.

“No,” the black Dragoness told me flat out.

“Why not?”

Onyx bristled visibly, flaring her wings a bit. “Do I look like a damn coach to you? You have healthy legs, use `em!”

“Hey, it´s okay if you can’t carry the two of us Onyx. I mean, I would never expect you to be stronger than Zinnia, I just thought you could be somewhere at the same level at last. Seeing as Zi managed to take flight with me and another person of my weight holding onto her, despite being, you know, pregnant,” I said, offering an apologetic shrug and turning to leave. “Looks like we have to walk Lyra.”

“Who´s Zinnia Master?” Lyra asked, curiosity coloring her voice. “Another Dragon?”

“No... yes. Well, not fully. She is at least one half Dragon, the other part being humanoid. Zinnia is from a neighboring dimension and my—I think your term would be ‘marefriend’," I explained to the curious equine, mentally counting down from five.

Four.<<

Three.<<

Two.<<

“What? What do you mean with ‘I can´t carry you’, hn, Umbra?” Onyx all but shouted, jumping from her bed of treasures to my side, blocking my path with one wing and glaring down at me.

Keeping my cool, I stared back into the intense golden orbs of my draconic friend. “Exactly what I said.” My voice took a patronizing quality as I continued “Hey, it´s no shame in being outclassed by a pregnant woman in terms of strength, even if she is only a half-blood and not a pure Dragon. If carrying me and a single Unicorn is too much for you Onyx, I accept that.”

In hindsight, a total jackass move as well as a risky gamble what I pulled on Onyx there, but how does the saying goes? Afterwards you always know more or something along these lines. At least it paid off that moment and that was what counted for me.

Flaring her wings wide and pushing her chest out, Onyx bared her teeth and small puffs of smoke escaped her nostrils. “Outclassed? I show you outclassed, Demoness! Dodge City you said? Well, let´s get going!” And before Lyra or I could say anything else, the Unicorn found herself thrown onto Onyx back, not unlike a plushie-backpack while strong hands hooked themselves under my arms and my feet lost ground contact as Onyx shot of with powerful wingbeats, through the lounge and out of my balcony.

Over me, I could Lyra scream bloody murder and prayers for her immortal soul at the same time. Me, I was busy laughing and whooping like a child in a rollercoaster.

[One dragon flight later]

“Come on Lyra, move up a gear. We need to catch that train,” I quipped cheerfully as I trotted, once again wearing my Pony-Illusion, through the outskirts of Dodge City towards the train station. Smiling, I turned to look at my companion, whose whole face was, even now with solid ground beneath her hooves, a few tinges greener than before, bringing her color scheme closer to spinach than her usual mint.

“I… urph… I hate you so much right now!” the Unicorn tried to growl but was interrupted by her stomach acting up. Again.

That day, I learned that horses indeed could puke. Well, at least ponies could. In Equestria.

“Ah ah ah, none of that sass now please.” My voice was sugary sweet as I fell back to trot besides Lyra. “It´s not my fault you can´t stomach a wee lil´ flight.”

Lifting her face out of a brown paper bag held aloft in her magic, Lyra tried to give me an evil eye but failed miserably. “Wee lil´ flight my… urph… my flank… Master…” she groused as she buried her muzzle in the confines of her barf-bag again.

For my part, I simply whistled a random tune, enjoying the nice weather.

I bought us two tickets to Ponyville and soon after we boarded the train, together with a whole lot of other ponies of all species. Interestingly enough, this train did look like something out of the late fifties or sixties, not the horridly named Friendship Express we always got to see in the show that looked like Sugarcube Corners distant cousin on wheels.

Thanks to the Multiverse for these small graces.

After choosing a nice private cabin for us, I plopped down on the plush seat and stretched my legs but kept my spell running. Since my first time using it, I had refined it and used it whenever I could to get used to the strain it put on me and my Mana reserves and was able to keep it up much, much longer before running out of Mana. I still was a good head taller than most stallions, my colors where still the same but my eyes were now ordinary yellow eyes instead of my glowing pools of light. My cutie mark was still the same too, more or less. With quite some trouble, I had managed to make it a tad more cartoonish than it originally had been to better blend in with the equine masses.

“Alright then Lyra, the ride should take an hour or so. Time we will put to use in coming up with a cover story for you and me,” I addressed the Unicorn, who was fidgeting nervously in her seat. “First off, once we get you back to Ponyville, we, that is you Lyra, need to repair your relationship with Bon Bon in order for you to have a secure and solid base of operations.”

"Base of Operations?"

I nodded sagely. "That's right, my vassal. Did you forget my assignment to you? If you are to stay here and act as my eyes and ears in Ponyville, I need you to be able to work in a stable and secure environment. That means taking care of any problems you and Bon Bon might have."

That earned me a wide eyed, ears splayed back look from Lyra. “Repair my relationship? Sure, if Bonnie is still there or even is willing to talk to me again,” She mumbled, her head and her shoulders slumping. Better to nip that in the bud.

“Hey now, nothing of that. How long have the two of you been together?"

"Almost six years."

"Well, there you go," I said simply. Don't think Lyra knew what was going through my mind. "I want you to look back real closely at your time with her. Sure, you guys have had your rough patches, but I don't think the two of you would have made it so long if you did not love or care deeply about each other, right?” I did my best to prevent this conversation from derailing any further. Last thing I needed right now was a depressive Unicorn that would botch up my nefarious master plan.

Sniffling, Lyra chanced a glance at me from under her mane that obscured most of her face. “I… well, I guess… But what should I do? After all I did, how could I ever hope to repair my relationship with Bonnie?” Lyra asked me, these big soulful eyes of her wavering with a hint of tears.

It was absolutely heart wrenching!

Gah, what to say?<< I mentally slapped myself for my overconfidence and my big mouth. I was barely able to get my own relationships along smoothly and now there was an emotionally devastated mare sitting right in front of me for whom I was probably the last chance to get her love life back on track. Fun-fucking-tastic!

“Weee~eell, what to do, what to do? Ah ha!” I held my hoof out with a ghost of a triumphant smile. “Okay, listen Lyra, here´s the plan: once we got you back in Ponyville, you´ll focus on Bon Bon for a good while. Do things together that she enjoys like, I dunno, walking in the park, prepare romantic dinners for her or make her small but meaningful gifts and make sure to properly show her your affection. Additionally, I want you to turn down your ‘obsession’ quite a notch.” Okay, that I could have worded a whole lot better because Lyra looked just like I had told a child Santa was not real. Holding up my hooves in a calming manner I continued before Murphy could even think about showing up “That is to say, I don´t want you to completely abandon it, quite the contrary. If you suddenly were to drop such a prominent and defining interest of yours out of the blue, it would draw more suspicion to you that it would do you good in the long run. No, you should show bits and bobs of it from time to time, be it that you bring up your newest theory regarding Humans in a discussion with Bon Bon or that you try to walk around town on your hind legs while wearing pants for all I care.” Pfhew, saved by a hairs width.

Lyra seemed to brighten up again, so it must have worked at least a bit. “I guess… yes, I guess I can do that. Uhh, I even have some ideas already. Thank you Master,” My little Unicorn beamed at me and on a later date in the undefined future, historians from all over the world would say that the Overlady's black, little heart grew three sizes that moment.

“And that leads us to the next point of the agenda. Stop calling me Master in public. That makes us look like we have some weird kind of Pet-Play going on or something, which is totes not helpful when we are trying to save your relationship with your marefriend. As long as I am in this form, you will call me Umbra Illusion, got that Lyra?”

Cocking her head like a confused puppy, Lyra asked “O~kay… if you say so Ma… ehrm Umbra I mean. But may I ask why this name? Isn´t it kind of, well, obvious?”

Now I smiled in earnest. “Yes and that is exactly the beauty of my plan. You see, there is an old saying that I grew fond of. If you want to hide something, make sure everyone can see it. So, by going by my actual name in combination with the statement that what everyone can see is just a magical phantasm, it will be so absolutely obvious that each and everyone will dismiss even the slightest notion that is anything but the truth, which it is. See? It´s fool-proof, even the Element of Honesty, should we ever meet, should not be able to find a shred of a lie when I introduce myself with this name.” I explained, nodding in approval at my own brilliance.

“Okay, if say so Umbra,” Lyra admitted.

Making myself more comfortable by lying down on my belly, I mustered Lyra from the corner of my eye. “Alright~y, now since we have your portion of the plan covered, time to work on mine. First off, a few questions.” Time to prove or disprove some Fan-Canon!

[Ponyville station]

The first thing that I noticed as I left the train was the smell. The unmistakable smell of a rural, little township consisting of the odor of tiny horses, more or less fresh hay and interestingly enough, apples.

I took a deep breath, the country bumpkin in me reveling in the homely aroma permeating the air.

A little pang of homesickness made itself know for but a moment. Luckily it was that very same moment my newest servant made herself useful by nudging me and directing my attention to some kind of poster on the wall of the station building. Curious, I approached it but just as fast came to a full stop. There was something sinisterly glowering at me down from that poster and this something was… me?

It took every shard of self-restraint in my body not to break my spell, rip the freaking wanted poster from the wall and rip it to teensy tiny shreds before setting the shreds aflame!

Now, it was not the fact that my beautiful face on the picture was more or less mixed up with my helmet, giving me a really monstrous appearance or the smaller picture on the side, showing a full body height comparison with me and a Earth Pony (with my body looking more like a deformed Diamond Dog!) that made my blood boil, it was the text underneath.

Wanted for foul crimes against the kingdom of Equestria and all Equinity. Said crimes include amongst other things the cold blooded murder of the esteemed Professor Crystal Flask of the Royal University of Canterlot, torture both psychologically and physically and more that should not be named for the sake of the elderly and children who might read this.

The creature is of unknown origin, the possibility of originally being a dweller of Tartarus is yet to be disproved. The creature is bipedal and in height similar to a Minotaur, wearing a set of heavy armor in black and red. If you spot the creature, do not approach. The creature is most likely to react to any kind of provocation with brutal violence and cannot be reasoned with. Instead, seek your nearest member of the Solar or Lunar Guard and share your findings with them.

Any relevant cues that will lead to the apprehension and subsequent imprisonment of the creature will be rewarded with the sum of one thousand (1,000) bits from the Royal Treasury.

How dared they? How fucking dared they??? My pulse was almost skyrocketing and I felt my teeth grind together. These hypocritical little shit-stains dared to put a bounty on my head, declaring me a vile beast that could not be reasoned with? If that was what I got for just defending myself and letting an innocent pony go back home, then that would have been the last time, I defended their sorry little plots!

As I stared at the wanted poster, I felt the world around me growing quiet and deep inside the darkest corners of my mind, there was the voice again. The beautiful, haunting, subtle, terrible, blunt like a sledgehammer to the face voice. ‘And so you see the truth. Despite your attempts to help them and to do good, these ponies you are so fond of see you as nothing but a monster and they will never see you as anything but. They reject and vandalize you even with your best intentions. So, why don´t we give them what they want, then? Why don´t we burn down this little hovel, plant the heads of its miserable denizens on pikes in the Towns Square and leave their bloated carcasses for the crows to pick clean?’ the silken words formed in my mind and for a seemingly endless moment, I just considered following them.

Blood was drenching the earth, turning the soil into foul smelling mud, the agonized cries of the dying and the heart splitting cries of the children as they tried to get their parents, siblings and friends to ‘wake up’ again filling the air. The wingbeats of flocks of carrion birds, big enough to bloat out the sun, drowning the slaughterhouse that once was Ponyville in darkness. Blood flowing in rivers down my armor, the mangled remains of the Element Bearers at my feet, I yelled my triumph to the Heavens between bursts of insane laughter.

It was glorious.

A sharp pain shot through my cheek and brought me back to the here and now. Baffled, I stared at Lyra whose hoof was still in motion from slapping me out of my crazed vision.

So dumbfounded about the fact that it had been Lyra to slap some sense back into me was I, that I did not managed to catch all the words that left Lyra´s mouth as she ushered me away from the train station and into Ponyville proper. It was something about me, creating a scene or something. I was more or less running on auto-pilot as I progressed what just had happened.

“… am so sorry for hitting you like that but you looked like you were about to burst in flames or something like this.”

Turning my head, my eyes met Lyra´s who wore a mixture of a sheepish and mortified grin on her fuzzy mug.

“Nah, I´m not Twilight. Bursting into flames is her shtick.” I let the words leave my mouth as I regained the full power over my mental facilities. Putting one hoof on Lyra´s withers, I added in a low but sharp voice “Thank you for preventing a potential disaster back then but Heartstrings, hit me just one more time and I swear, I will personally shave you, roll you in salt and tie you down on the roof of my Tower and will only take you down after you turned into a delicious piece of dried meat.” The hasty nodding I got in return was all I needed to know that my message had been clear and received.

After that, I came to realize that we had come to a halt in front of a simple yet homely two-story cottage with a small patch of a flower garden in front of it, one of these small, white fences and a mailbox that bore three pieces of candy in yellow and blue striped wrappers and a golden harp on the side. Bon Bon´s and Lyra´s cutie marks instead of their names. Interesting concept.

“So, that´s your house, hn?” I asked casually, and I couldn't help but notice the absence of furniture and other belongings moved out of the house and put on the side of the road. “Doesn´t look like Bon Bon has thrown your stuff out, so that is a plus. Are you sure your little magic ‘Honey, I´m coming home’ trick worked?”

“Yes, I´m pretty sure. Once I send the spell from my side, the receiving rune I made myself should have notified Bon Bon that I am on my way back home,” Lyra said, sounding quite a bit anxious.

It was truly amazing what these Ponies could do. Sure, they had no mobiles or anything but instead they had runes. Such a rune would allow the Unicorn who casted it to use it in a similar way to a pager, informing the pony in possession of the rune or the item the rune was cast on of the casters intention. In Lyra´s case, she had woven the rune in the frame of a picture that showed her and Bon Bon on the day of their wedding. Green glow meant Lyra was fine and on her way home, yellow that she was fine but would stay away just a bit longer and red meant something major had transpired, preventing Lyra to come home for an unknown timespan. Heh, traffic light system in a society that did not even had real traffic, who woulda thought?

“Now then, let´s not waste any more time. Let´s go in,” I stated and pushed Lyra towards the door, the Unicorn putting up just a feeble bit of resistance.

Moments later we stood in the living room, Lyra looked at me with uncertainty in her eyes. Rolling my own, I made a motion with my head, signaling Miss Minty Horse to announce her presence so that we could the bloody fuck get on with it.

“B-Bonnie? A-are you there? It´s me… Lyra. I´m… I´m home,” Lyra´s hesitant call floated through the house and her ears dropped as a few moments passed without an answer, without the noises of hooves on hardwood rushing towards her. But just then, a voice came from upstairs.

“I´m up here, Lyra.” Hmm, it was Bon Bon´s voice all right, she sounded like that one time when she had that line in the episode when Rarity made Fluttershy more or less model against her will.

The clattering of hooves making their way to the door alarmed me of a fleeing Unicorn. A quick movement and Lyra´s tail was pinned under my hoof, cutting her escape short.

“What in the name of Faust was that, Heartstrings?” I asked, glaring at the shaking pile of Lyra.

Lyra responded by averting her eyes “I… I can´t do it… I´m too nervous…. W-what if I botch it up and…” she stammered, doing her best to sink into the floor. Great, she was getting cold hooves!

With a sigh, I released the two toned strands of Lyra´s tail and gently nudged her with my own muzzle. Boy, that never ceased to feel strange. “Would you feel better if I am the one to get her down while you gather the remains of your courage, hm Heartstrings?” I offered with a warm smile. Now was definitively the time for sugar bread and not the whip.

That was the moment I received my second ponyhug ever. After breaking away, Lyra cleared her throat awkwardly and announced that she would wait in the living room while I would fetch her significant other.

With a slight chuckle, I watched Lyra plop down on a worn looking couch before I climbed the stairs to the first story.

After finding the bathroom and what looked like a broom closet of sorts, my hoof rested on the handle of the last door, ever so slightly pressing down on it and causing the mechanism to creak treacherously.

“Please do come in~” I heard Bon Bon´s voice beckon me inside, no doubt mistaking me for Lyra. There was something in her voice, something familiar in those silken tones.

Still, I opened the door, an apology that I am not Lyra and an invitation to meet her downstairs already on my lips but that was just as far as those poor words ever would come, as they died a merciful fast death as I fully comprehended the sight that was presented to me.

I stood in a bedroom, all the windows had their curtains drawn but dozens of candles illuminated the room instead and on a big, comfy looking bed laid Bon Bon, face towards the headboard.

With her hind legs opened wide.

And her tail bound up like you´d see it on those prissy competition horses.

Giving me the best seat in the house to marvel at her delicate flower in all its slightly puffy and moist glory.

Ah ha, so that´s what My little Pony pussy looks like. Good to know.<< I felt my mouth go dry and my whole body enter a shock state.

“Lyra, honey, I am so happy that you finally came home. I was so worried when you took of that morning without as much as leaving a simple letter.” Bon Bon breathed, still not looking at me, touching a slightly green glowing picture besides her with a sock glad hoof. Hmm, green and white stripped socks, Lyra´s colors. Kinda cute.

“But now you are back. I know I have not been that a supportive wife I should have been and I am sorry for that. I let all those jerks back in Canterlot and even those here in Ponyville pull me down and away from you, but that will never happen again. I am sure we can work something out, something to deal with your… special interest.” She put the picture on a night stand. “Now love, why are you still standing in the door? Won´t you join me? I dressed up just the way you like it and even prepared your favorite candy.” At the last word, the trice damned, seductive Earth Pony gave her rump a slight shake, making it wiggle enticingly.

Oh Darkness give me strength!

“Lyraaa~” cooed Bon Bon in a voice oozing with seductiveness, slowly turning her head to face me. “Please love, don´t let me wait any longAAAAAAHHHHH! OH MY CELESTIA, YOU ARE NOT LYRA!”

Yepp, and like that Candybutts mood was killed deader than Ötzi the glacier mummy.

Bon Bon let out a shriek that would have done a Banshee proud as she whirled around, covering herself with the blanket she had been lying on while I had enough decency left to make a step back, blushing with my ears splayed back and staring at the floor.

I waited patiently until Bon Bon´s scream had woken up the last dead from here to Canterlot and she instead opted for heavy panting.

Nervously licking my lips, I glanced up only for a pillow to impale itself on my horn. “Okay, I deserved that.” I admitted through flying feathers.

“Who… who are you? And where is my Lyra?” Bon Bon´s voice cut through the air and despite the audible shame raging through her, there was a undertone that was much subtler yet sharper.

“Ähm, my name is Umbra Illusion and Lyra was too nervous to come upstairs.” I detached the ruined pillow from my head and offered Bon Bon a sheepish smile. “She is waiting downstairs for you, in the living room.”

Her cheeks still burning, Bon Bon´s ears reappeared from the depths of her mane. “Is that so? Well then… Umbra you said? You can go downstairs, I´ll be with you in a minute,” She declared in a tone that booked no room for arguments so I did as I was told and went back downstairs.

I found Lyra exactly where I had left her, sitting on the couch and nursing a drink of sorts. The matching bottle sat on the table in front of her, a good quarter of the soft golden liquid missing already.

“Careful with the liquid courage Lyra.” I sat down opposite of her and snatched the bottle away just as she was about to pour herself another glass.

Pouting Lyra sat her glass back down, only for her expression change to worried again. “W-where is Bonnie? Did you meet her? What… what did she say? Is she…”

As I was about to answer as the sound of hooves emanated from the stairs. “I´m here Lyra.” Bon Bon announced her presence as she came into view, now wearing a simple blue bath robe and interestingly enough, I could see that she was still wearing her socks. I gave her a curt nod but not without adding a still sheepish smile.

Lyra on the other hand nearly leapt out of her skin, almost making me rush to calm her down but thankfully that was totally unnecessary seeing that Bon Bon beat me to it. It was tooth dissolving levels of cute to watch as the cream colored mare embraced her mint colored counterpart and simply held her close, their heads resting on each other’s shoulders with their eyes closed in an incredible display of intimacy. That was the clearest sign to make a tactical retreat if I ever got one.

I had made it halfway to the door in order to let the two of them have their privacy as Bon Bon ended the hug but not before lovingly nuzzling Lyra, causing her cheeks to explode crimson.

“Umbra, wait.” She called.

I turned my head and was met with a truly beautiful smile that conveyed all the happiness in Bon Bon´s heart as she sat there, close to Lyra as it could be without merging with her.

“Thank you. For bringing my Lyra back to me.”

“Anything for a friend, especially if she has such a cute and loving wife waiting for her,” Was my reply as I reached for the doors handle, only to turn towards the two mares again, this time with a big smirk gracing my features. “I think I will go and do a little sightseeing. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do myself okay?” Then, my smirk faded just a bit as my voice took a more serious quality. “Lyra, remember what we talked about, yes?” After seeing Lyra nod, I opened the door and strode out into Ponyville with a giddy spring in my step, the door falling shut behind me.

Hoo boy, was I going to enjoy this! Watch out Ponyville, here I come!

°°°

[Third POV]

Watching the door fall into the lock, Bon Bon turned to face Lyra. “Well, she is certainly an interesting mare, this Umbra. How did you two met?” she asked, leaning in to bury her face in Lyra´s mane.

“Uhm… well, you see Bonnie… we, yes, we met in Dodge City. In this one bar, you see…” Lyra managed to stammer out nervously.

“In a bar?” Bon Bon asked, not removing herself from her Unicorns mane.

“Yes. It was… after I went on searching all around the place for this creature that Dawn mare told us about, I could not find it. So I was pretty down the dumbs and went back to the city. There I saw this shady little bar and I was like, 'Tartarus, I´m going to drown my sorrows over my botched up life in the cheapest and strongest alcohol I could find'.”

Humming lowly, Bon Bon began to encouragingly nuzzle Lyra.

Shuddering at the pleasant feeling, Lyra continued “Well, I was still on my first drink when Umbra showed up. She told me that I had been staring at my drink for a good hour now and if I would have anything against some company. You know Bonnie, at first I thought that she might be an, you know, an… escort, looking for an easy job.”

Lyra was interrupted by the melodic giggling of the mare of her life. “Oh Ly-Ly, is it wrong that I still think it so incredibly cute that you can´t bring yourself to say whorse?”

In turn, Lyra blushed fiercely at the crude term Bon Bon so casually used. “I-I have you know that my parent´s raised me with quite some standard Bonnie. They insisted that a proper lady would never use such a word!”

“Yes, the same parents who disowned you for marrying an Earth Pony.” Bon Bon could not help it but to inject as much venom into that statement as possible. “Not for marrying another mare, but an Earth… no, a Mud Pony! That was what they called me in front of everypony on the day of our wedding.”

Sensing Bon Bon tense up, Lyra leaned into her and gave her a nuzzle of her own. “Shh, they don´t matter now Bonnie. All that matters are we. Where was I? Ah yes, so Umbra asked me if I wanted some company and since I did not particularly cared that moment, I was all ‘Sure why not?’, so she sat down with me. After a while we began to talk, about everything. A bit of Politics, a bit of Economics, something about the last Hoofball game and after a while, she asked about my hobbies. A bit reluctantly I told her about my… fascination with Humans.”

Lyra paused there, just like she had studied it with Umbra during the train ride.

“And?” Bon Bon asked curiously. That was what Lyra had hoped for.

“You see, I was afraid that she would laugh at me like all the others but imagine my surprise when she told me that was fascinated with Humans and Anthropology too!” Lyra beamed, a genuine smile on her muzzle while Bon Bon let out a minuscule groan. “So we began talking for hours, comparing our theories, findings and our beliefs in general. Do you know that Umbra thinks that Humans started out as some kind of little rodents in a time when Dragons were still ruling the planet unopposed and us Ponies where still little forest dwelling critters, long before the Three Tribes were formed?”

“That´s a… interesting take on it,” Bon Bon admitted. “Certainly as interesting as your own theory that Humans live underground like Diamond Dogs after losing a territorial dispute with the early Minotaur tribes.”

“Isn´t it? Anyways, after that, she asked me where I came from. Turned out that Umbra is originally from Germaneigh, you know, this little nation on top of Prance?”

“Lyra, this ‘little nation’ is nearly a quarter the size of Equestria.” Bon Bon playfully chided.

“Yeah but then how comes that they ain´t got no amazing Princesses like we do? All they have is this weird Chancellor that they need to elect new all couple of years or so?” Lyra said, her snout held high in fake elitism.

“Which is a long and respected Earth Pony tradition, since the land was founded by Earth Ponies who split of the main group after the ‘long Winter Exodus’ Ly-Ly.”

“Hmm, fair point Bonnie. As I were, turned out that Umbra was traveling for a while now, following the wind as she put it, to see as much of the world as she could before she would eventually return home. Or settle down somewhere. Her words, not mine. Anyway, eventually she asked me where I was from and well… it was probably the drink talking together with my frustration but I more or less started bawling and telling her everything. About us, about Canterlot and about how I simply up and left you for another fruitless hunt for any trace of Humans. Umbra then spend quite some time consoling me, holding me like you always do Bonnie while stroking my mane and my back… after she managed to get me to stop, we had a long and serious talk. I think the last time I had a talk so serious was during my last years in Celestia´s School for gifted Unicorns. Umbra pretty much put my head back on straight about many things. She told me that I could not let negativness and regret rule my life, that I was the one in control and no one else, whatever I might believe. But most importantly, she…” Lyra stopped again, this time because two big turquoise eyes bore into her own amber colored ones. After an unspoken signal, she continued “But most importantly, she helped me realize that no matter what bad things might happen in my life, there is one pony that I never want to lose, from now on till the end of time. And that pony, is you Bon Bon.”

Cream colored lips met mint colored ones in a tender, loving kiss and for a few precious moments, complete harmony filled the moderate living room.

“B-bonnie… “ Lyra gasped as they separated, her cheeks glowing brightly “Does that mean you forgive me?”

In turn, Bon Bon caressed her mares cheek, not breaking eye contact with Lyra. “Forgive you? Oh Ly-Ly, if anything, I should ask you to forgive me. If I had been just a bit more attentive, all this might have never happened.”

“Bonnie…” Lyra started but was cut short by a hoof gently coming to rest on her lips.

“No Ly-Ly, I won´t hear anything of that right now. Fate just brought you back to me whole and unharmed, I don´t want any arguments spoiling this moment. Tomorrow, we can start arguing and work something out but right now, I just want to show you how happy a mare you make me. Afterall,” Bon Bon left the couch and slowly made her way to the stairs. She then turned her head ever so slightly to give Lyra a smoldering gaze. “I just prepared your favorite candy and it would be such a shame to let it go to waste, wouldn´t it?”

The bath robe opened and slid of Bon Bon´s body, revealing what was underneath.

A few rouge sparks of magic shot out of Lyra´s horn as her eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

Setting her hoof on the first step of the stairs, Bon Bon lidded her eyes and breathed in a husky voice “Don´t let me wait Ly-Ly.” before she ascended towards her shared bedroom.

Lyra followed close behind, smiling brighter than a foal on Hearts Warming.

°°°

Oh. My. Frikken. God! I am really walking through Ponyville, a real life Ponyville! With real life Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth Ponies!<<

I barely avoided squeeing as I positively bounced down the beaten dirt road through the colorful, little township, my eyes never resting for more than a few moments on the same spot, flying from Pegasi zipping through the air, pushing clouds into position or busting them with a quick kick to Earth Ponies working in small gardens in front of their houses to the occasional Unicorn, who to my secret delight went about their daily lives, things like shopping baskets, books and what not held aloft in colorful clouds of telekinetic energy.

There was so much to see, so much to take in and just so precious little time until my Mana would finally run out and my disguise would fall, revealing that the truth underneath.

The beast, the monster that was both feared and wanted by these very ponies. I felt such unbridled, childish glee over just watching them do their daily routines.

With the mental equivalent of a bulldozer, I shoved that particular thought as far back into my mind as I could, hell-bent on making the most out of every minute here.

Sure, technically this was my second romp through Ponyville if I were to count that one visit in Wade's 'Verse but that was only a blitz visit at best.

Speaking of Wade, a certain discovery came back to mind, a rather peculiar shop that I wanted to visit in my own 'Verse if possible.

Looking up, I searched for the next road sign and sure enough, I found one informing me that I currently stood on the ‘Mane Street’, corner ‘Hay Ave.’. I had already made sure to check the state of one of Ponyville's most prominent buildings and lo and behold, the famous Treebrary lay rooted where it should be.

That told me two things. Either my Verse's Twilight was still a Unicorn or she was an Alicorn already, which in turn meant that soon a certain magic-sucking Centaur would pay this lovely place a visit to do some major re-decorating. Something I was totally undecided about, whether I should find a good spot to watch Sparklebutt and Tall, Red and Leeching duke it out or to book it until the storm had blown over.

Taking a turn to the left, I peered into another side road after four failed attempts and sure enough, there, neatly nestled between two surprisingly bland looking houses sat the object of my desires.

Lingerie & Refrigerators.

With a small chuckle, I approached the ridiculously themed and named shop, pushing the door open.

Upon entering, I felt pretty underwhelmed. The sales room was neatly separated, with all kinds of funky looking fridges on one side and aisles in combination with quite a few pony shaped mannequins displaying panties and socks galore and of course a few curtained dressing booths on the other.

Besides me, there was only what looked like a couple of elderly ponies looking at a bulky beast of a refrigerator in a garish orange that would have not looked out of place in Fallout and what I assume to be the owner of the shop or at least a clerk of sorts, manning… ponying… standing behind a counter.

I mean seriously, what had I been expecting? Some kind of racy Victoria´s Secret equivalent?

Walking amongst the displayed goodies, I enjoyed the faux atmosphere of normalcy that came from such a simple activity as going shopping, only to start missing Vivi or my other female friends with a vengeance, who I would trade idle chit-chat with or the occasional dirty joke ending in pearling giggles when we went lingerie shopping together.

With a sigh, I shook my head, turning my attention to more pleasant things. Namely, panties in every color and I must admit quite some impressively naughty cuts. For colorful, little horsies at least.

Mentally cracking my knuckles because right now there was nothing to crack, I began the tedious task of selecting new undies from the aisle.

Hmm, to small.<<

Don’t like that color.<<

Sweet Mother Mary giving Buddha a lapdance, there is barely any fabric on this one!<<

Too small. Again!<<

Soon, I had dug through the whole aisle and had not managed to find one frakking pair of panties for me!

Letting out a snort my gaze fell on the pony behind the counter, a gangly male specimen of the Pegasus variety as far as I could see it.

With an ominous smile on my face, I stalked towards the salespony. For some reason, I always took great delight in roping male employees into my lingerie shopping sprees when I had the chance too.

Easily looming over the poor sap, I showcased my pearly whites and purred “I am ever so sorry my good sir, but I seem to have a few problems finding panties that fit my physique. Would you be a gentlestallion and help a mare out? I would be ever so grateful.”

I must have at least done something right because the stallion’s ears folded back while his wings began to ruffle noticeable and he swallowed audibly.

[…]

With a big bag full of new, princess sized underwear in tow I exited the store, leaving a pile of bits and an exhausted and slightly anemic Pegasus in my dust.

Starting to hum happily, I trotted down the road, towards my next destination.

It took not long and the single most famous bakery in the whole fandom came into view. Sugarcube Corner in all its pseudo-saccharine glory rose up before me, delicious smells of at least one dozen ways to clog your arteries and make your teeth a playground for cavities wafted from the open door and caressed my nose like a lovers touch.

My stomach growled loudly in tandem with the part of my brain that controlled my sweet tooth, nearly flipping all the lids at the prospect of finally being able to indulge in proper sweets again.

Being so clearly outvoted, my insecurity of eventually meeting a member of the Mane Six was just flipped the mental bird and sat back, cracking a beer open.

Inside, Sugarcube Corner was… well, it was certainly homey. The counter with the glass where all the baked goodies were on display were just like in the show, complete with one of these old fashioned cash registers. Along the walls sat neat, little booth like niches consisting of a central table with a couch seat thingy on two sides, reminding me of these cliché Dinners one always saw in old American movies.

After appraising the interior, my eyes wandered towards the real price and by Darkness, I felt drool dripple down my chin then and there.

Eclairs, Bear Claws, a wide assortment of Muffins, something that looked suspiciously like still warm and steaming Pie (Apple if I had to venture a guess), Cakes of almost every variety, Donuts, Cookies in all forms and shapes, Danish pastries…

“Can I get you something dearie?” a voice ripped me from my ogling.

“Hwuah?” I stated in a perfect display of my high class linguistic skills, looking at the pudgy mare behind the counter who wore a knowing smile.

“Your first time here, right? You are probably a tourist, yes?” the genuine Missus Cake asked me. “Decided that you should take a short stop at Sugarcube Corner, to try some of Equestrias finest baked goods and maybe meet the Bearer of the Element of Laughter or something along these lines, hm?”

That had me pretty dumbfounded and I guess it showed on my face because Mrs. Cake gave herself a satisfied nod before addressing me again. “Let me guess, you read one of those tourist information flyers they hoove out at the train station?”

“Ehrm, no. Actually, I´m a friend of Lyra Heartstrings, she told me about this place.”

That seemed to surprise the older mare a bit but her surprise soon turned into one of these matronal smiles. “Really now? That´s wonderful to hear dearie. We all were a bit worried about Lyra, that mare can be more eccentric at times that our very own Twilight Sparkle. Seeing that she is still able to make new friends is a huge relief.”

That piqued my curiosity “Do you know Lyra well?”

“Hmm, my husband and I run Ponyvilles only bakery dearie. You would be surprised how fast you develop a connection to the ponies who swing by every day or so for a piece of cake or to chat with their friends over a cup of coffee. Off course I do know Lyra and also Bon Bon. They used to come by every second weekend but I have not seen Lyra in a while now. Heard through the grapevine that she was out and about on one of her hyoo-mun hunts again.”

“Humans. It´s Humans.” I corrected, causing the baker mare to lift an eyebrow slightly.

“Oh right, that was it. But how do you know?”

“You could say I kinda picked Lyra up in a shady bar in Dodge City and set her head back on straight after we talked a while. Could not let that mare ruin her life like that, especially when with all those nice theories she had about Humans. Certainly something I could incorporate into my own.” I told Mrs. Cake.

She hummed nodding before giving me a much more scrutinizing gaze. Apparently she found what she wanted as she nodded again. “Well, it is nice to meet a pony that believes in this kind of things and is still able to see the tip of her snout clearly. Celestia be my witness, Lyra can really use such a friend. Make sure to keep her in check for a bit, will you, dearie? Anyways, what can I get you?”

Nodding in turn, I gestured to a prime specimen of a marble cake with a thick layer of white frosting covering it. “That, please.”

“Alright, one piece of iced marble cake,” Mrs. Cake said as she reached to take one of the pre-sliced pieces out for me only for me to speak up.

“No, no. The whole cake, to go please,” I said, making a small circular motion with my hoof for emphasis.

“If… you say so dearie,” Mrs. Cake replied, looking a bit dumbfounded but soon regaining her bearing as she put the cake carefully into a white cardboard box with the words Sugarcube Corner in flowing script on the sides and put it on the counter. “That will be ten bits, then.”

Handing over the money, I took my cake and if I hadn't looked like a Unicorn right now, my hand would have trembled like a junkie's going cold turkey as I fished a slice of baked gloriousness from its cardboardy confines and took an eager bite, easily chomping down half of the generous slice.

I ate a lot of sweets in my life, English sweets, Turkish sweets, Japanese sweets and of course sweets from all over Germany and its neighbors but all of that paled in comparison to the piece of Heaven gracing my taste buds that very moment.

The sweetness of the rich icing was completely in synch with the vanilla and the chocolate flavor of the cake, the icing was the exact middle ground between sticky and smooth while the cake was just moist enough to make chewing pleasantly and not form a hard to swallow clump in one’s mouth.

Without swallowing the first part, I chomped down the last remainder of the slice, chewed and with a, thankfully muffled, moan swallowed to clear my mouth for the only words that could describe the feeling that was boiling up inside me right now like a force of nature and which would probably had ripped me apart to made itself known to the world if I hadn´t.

“Oh fuck. The. Hell. Yes!”

Several cries of indignation rang out as patrons chided me for my crude language and even Mrs. Cake looked quite taken aback behind her counter, her mouth slightly open.

“Eh he he, sorry everypony.” I grinned sheepishly and made for the door, cake and shopping bag floating around me.

With two of three points checked of my agenda, I decided to make a beeline to my last target, Golden Oaks library.

Two more slices of heaven in cake form met their demise on the way.

After wiping my mouth with my leg, I knocked on the door and entered. I was not halfway in as a notable annoyed voice rang out.

“Oh for Celestia´s sake, this is a public library! When will these ponies learn that just because I happen to live in the upper levels, they do not need to… knock… every time…” Twilight-still-a-Unicorn-Sparkle vented her frustration as she came into view, curiously enough with a pair of thin, wire frame reading glasses on her nose. As she saw me, she froze which in turn caused me to do a rather frantic check of my Mana reserves to check if my spell was still active or if it had petered out on me the moment I entered the House of Knowledge.

Thankfully, I found my magical reserves quite reduced but they were still there and so was my spell.

Clearing her throat, a slight blush painted Twilights cheeks as she magicked the glasses away. “Sorry, for a moment I mistook you for somepony else. You have quite a similar build to somepony I knew. Well, except he is an Earth Pony and you are an Unicorn obviously. Also, his coat is not black, hehe. Sorry again.” Purple Smart rubbed the back of her head.

“Think nothing of it. You would not believe how often that happens to me.” I told her, smiling amiably. “Guess that comes with the territory.”

“I think I can imagine,” Twilight told me before a look of realization took over her features. “You are new, aren´t you? Because I cannot remember seeing your file in the Town Halls archives—they asked for my help with cataloguing them, see. In this case, welcome to Golden Oaks Library, my name is Twilight Sparkle and I am the librarian here. How can I help you?” Twilight introduced herself, beaming brightly at me.

“Nice to meet you Miss Sparkle. My name is Umbra Illusion, a pleasure to meet you. I am indeed new in town; I am a friend of Lyra on a short visit,” I replied.

“Just Twilight, please.”

“Alright… Twilight,” I chuckled and strolled around the room, taking in the ambiance and comparing it to the show. Scanning the shelves, I addressed the Not-Princess. “Say, do you have anything regarding cross dimensional theories, travel between different realms of reality or something like that?”

“Oh. That is an interesting choice I must say. Not many ponies look into such things and most of those who do want something out of the fiction segment,” Twilight stated, her horn already aglow, causing several books all over the room to light up in the same aura. “Do you want fiction or non-fiction?”

“Non-fiction, please.”

Accompanied by the soft hum of magic, three moderately thick books floated through the air and landed gently on the big table in the center of the room.

“There you go. The Multiverse and You – A Guide in laypony's terms written by Void Jumper, Endless Universes, Endless Possibilities by Professor Hawk King and No need to Panic, just bring your towel by Ford Mustang of course. Each of those are brilliantly written, even though I highly suspect that the one from Ford Mustang was originally intended as some kind of entertainment novel but the ideas and theories in it have merit nonetheless.” Twilight told me, neatly arranging the books in a single row in front of me. “Do you need something else?”

Looking over the books, I shook my head slightly. “No thank you, I´m good. When I am done reading, what should I do with the books?”

“Just let them on the table or put them on the little cart over there,” the purple librarian gestured to said cart that was halfway stacked with books “Then Spike or I will put them back to their proper places later.”

Plopping down on a conveniently placed pillow, I opened the book from this Void Jumper guy first. The name more or less sold it to me.

I was about halfway through the first page as a shudder ran down my spine and caused me to tremble rather voilently. Someone was standing right behind me, the shudder was a surefire way to tell. It was something I got from Mom´s side of the family, they all had this weird shtick.

“If you don´t mind me asking, why exactly these kind of books?” Twilights voice came from behind me, accompanied by the sound of her magic and the creaking of small wheels. I turned slightly to see that she was indeed sorting the books from the cart back into the shelves.

Continuing to read, I answered, “Oh that. It´s for a hobby of mine, you see?”

“Oh really? What kind of hobby would require knowledge of trans dimensional travel?” Twilight inquired, never ceasing her own work.

“Anthropology.”

I swear, I heard all of Twilights gears screech to an abrupt halt and like a flash, she was at my side.

“What? You can´t be serious! There are zero evidences that would solidify the existence of Humans on the whole world of Equus! It is common knowledge that by now, all leading scientists and historians all over the world are in mutual agreement that every invention ever intended for, ugh, hands had been made by either the Griffins or the Minotaurs and in some extremely rare cases, the Dragons and Diamond Dogs. Even Princess Celestia and Luna themselves declared that they never in their long lives encountered a creature that called itself a Human!” Twilight managed to sound pissed and a bit crazed at the same time “I can´t believe that there are still ponies who, despite all these facts believe that these Humans exist somewhere. Ugh, they are clearly urban myths like Big Hoof or The White Mare!”

“I know. Because of this, my own theory is that Humans actually live in a neighboring dimension and have or at least had the means to travel between them, with one of those travels leading them to Equestria,” I stated calmly, opening the next book.

“Well, as much as I would like to disprove your theory with sound, proved and acknowledged facts, I still have a library to run,” Sparklebutt huffed and of she went, to do whatever her little horsey brain told her to do, leaving me to my own devices.

I spent the next few hours reading, occasionally checking my remaining Mana. I must admit, I did not really understood most of the stuff in these books but what I could puzzle together told me that I must have been on the right track. For the rest, I would probably need a Unicorn to make sense of the magic babble. Lucky me that I had such a conveniently placed lackey of my very own at my beck and call.

As my latest check on my magical juices in combination with the growing mental strain told me that I only had thirty minutes tops before my spell would fail, I closed the book, took my stuff and left the library, half yelling a ‘Goodbye’ over my shoulders.

Okay, time for the last part of the agenda.<<

Hey Gnarl, can you hear me?<< I asked into the ether, feeling even this simple activity fill my mind with the mental counterpart to pinpricks. Really, really unpleasant.

Of course I can hear you Milady,<< promptly came the croaked answer >>By the way, where are you? We have not seen hide or hair of Your Ladyship for almost the whole day.<<

I´m infiltrating Ponyville and marking stuff for later pillaging by Minion SPEC Ops but that is not why I called you, Gnarl. I need you to locate me a position for a stable portal. Pronto, my Mana won´t last me much longer and right now, I´d rather not be me,<< I responded, unable to hide my growing crankiness due to low Mana reserves.

There was silence on Gnarl's side of the line for a few moments and I was about to rather aggressively call out but the walnut beat me to it as his voice again filled my ears. >>Alright Milady, as I see it, there should be a fitting spot nearby. From what I can gather, it´s in some sort of forest. Does this say anything to you, Milady?<<

In fact it does, Gnarl. Good job, see you later in the Tower. You might go and prep some of our sneakiest Minions for a little plunder and ransack mission later tonight, would ya?<<

It will be my utmost pleasure, Milady,<< Gnarl answered and I could almost hear him rub his wrinkly claws in gleeful anticipation before the line went quiet.

With that taken care of, I quickened my pace. If my guess was correct, my new portal would be sitting somewhere in the Everfree. Not a bad location per se. The nasty critters there would act as excellent guardians in combination with the ponies' unwillingness to enter the forest and I could probably harvest a nice amount of souls from them if I should run low.

Only thing left to do was give Lyra a quick head's up and then I would be off.

Luckily, Fate seemed to mean me well for a change because that or it found a new victim to torment, for I found my newest servant sitting on a bench not far from her house, with a disheveled mane and a dopey look etched onto her muzzle, playing a nice little tune on her namesake with her magic.

“Yo, Lyra!”

“Hm? Oh, hello Umbra,” Lyra greeted me, setting her instrument down beside her.

The moment I came into smelling distance, a fragrance hit me that I was very familiar with. Immediately, a grin split my lips, despite my slightly aching head. “Well, well Heartstrings, someone got lucky hn? Good for you.”

“Thanks to you, Umbra,” Lyra admitted, sheepishly sniffing at herself only to crinkle her nose as she noticed her odor.

“Well, I can be benevolent on occasions,” I quipped “But I did not just come by for that, I´m going to leave for now. I have what I want or will soon have it. Before I go, I will establish a waypoint close by. Your orders, Heartstrings, are to keep on working on your relationship with Bon Bon. Do that for at least the whole next week, then I want you to start with your observations. Keep your profile low and… hmm… is there a safe place for you to deposit your reports for me until I can have one of my Minions collect them?”

Lyra thought about that for a moment, rubbing her chin with her hoof. “Well, there is this one old well a bit down the road. It had been dried up long ago and was later on filled with earth and rocks from Sweet Apple Acres when they built a new cellar. By now it's only deep enough for a foal to hide in.”

“Is it one of these wells with a little roof and a bucket on a rope?”

“Yes, why do you ask? Oh, should I deposit my reports in the bucket?”

I gave it a short thought before shaking my head. “No, too obvious. Instead, I want you to secure your reports to me on the underside of the roof. Also, don’t use my name or your own in them, just in case someone should find one of the reports by accident.”

“Understood,” Lyra nodded.

“Good, then I´ll be off. Oh and here, for you and Bon Bon. Enjoy,” I handed Lyra two slices of cake before I took off, down the road and towards the Everfree.

Switching to my Ley Sight, it was not hard to find the spot Gnarl mentioned. It was glowing like a lighthouse and easily visible, despite being well inside the forest's borders.

After I had made sure that no pony was around, I quickly dove into the thick underbrush, following the bright flare in front of me. Halfway I let my disguise fade away, mostly because it was easier that way to move through the branches, bushes and the other kinds of shrubbery.

Heh, it was almost funny, even the forest seemed more or less designed with ponies in mind seeing as all the thick underbrush barley came up to my thighs.

And all the monsters roaming around? Thankfully I had no run-in with them, for I was pretty beat from keeping my pony spell up that long. My pounding head told me that I was still far away from being as good as I would like to think that I was.

Parting the last piece of greenery before me and ducking under one last low hanging branch, I entered a small clearing. To the unsuspecting eye, it was just that but for me, well.

Scraping the last ounces of Mana and willpower up, I reached out for the Ley Line and mercifully fast, the teleporter platform, surrounded again by a half circle of pillars rose from the ground. Fittingly for the surroundings, moss and vines covered the dark stone.

A tired sigh escaped my lips as I stepped on the center of the stone plate, the runes all around me glowing blue as the magic came to life that would bring me back to my tower.

Holding my box of cake and my bag of underwear close, I felt almost all the tension that had built up in me during my little adventure flake off me.

All that was left for me was the wish to take a long, hot bath, drink a glass wine and take a long nap.

Blue light swallowed me and I was gone.

Author's Note

Hey folks.^^ Here, have a bunch of last minute updates for your entertainment till Nes Year.

~~The second half of this chapter is currently undergoing proof reading but I felt like giving you the first anyways, I hope you don´t mind.^^~~

Ta-daa, I present you the complete chapter. Boy, I´m never uploading unfinished chapters again, way to much work.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed Umbras little romp through her version of Ponyville and her first real interactions with the Pon-Pons.

As usual, this chapter was brought to you in jolly co-operation with the lovley and ever so patient ArreClonClipo.

New servant aquired: Lyra Heartstrings
This slightly unhinged if not enthusiastic little Unicorn is now at Umbra´s back and call.
This will totaly not come back to bite her in the ass in any kind of way...

Minion Horde Capacity: 35

Domination: ++

Destruction:

12. Lightning strikes

- 12. Lightning strikes –

It was a low day, I was just lounging around in my throne room, laying over my throne like a cat over a freshly washed and neatly folded pile of your best clothes.

"Gaaahh!" I groaned out loudly before shouting again "Gnarl!"

No reply.

"Gnarl! Move your ass, I´m bored out of my skull here!"

//Umbra the Overlady, I summon you.//

A grin split my face. "Oh boy, momma is goin´ on another road trip!" I jumped of my throne as I began to feel the by now familiar tingle of trans-dimensional teleportation fill me. I grabbed my mace and my helmet and all but jumped into the center of my throne room. Just in time as the blue light erupted from underneath me and once again I felt sickenly weightless.

As the light show faded away, I was standing in the middle of a sea of endless golden wheat. I looked around.

"Okay, the sky is not dull grey and there is no grayscale and black house around so I am not in Deaths little sub-dimension. So far so good." I stated mostly to myself. "Oi! Someone called for the Overlady?" I then called out.

After a while, I spotted something black in the sea of gold. "Hey, yo! You over there." I called and began walking over "Didja called for me?" Hmm, black hair, black shirt, black wristbands over long dark violet and black striped fingerless gloves, some tartan-ish dark violet skirt. Jepp, looked like a sunny personality.

"I guess I did." The woman responded, seizing me up. "I'm guessing you are Umbra?"

"Yeppers peppers, that´s me." I gave a grin. "And who are you?"

"I'm Black Alice, just Alice if you prefer." Huh, that sounded familiar.

"Black Alice hn?" I took my helmet off and hooked it on my belt "Black Alice... Black... Alice... hmmm, say, does the name Teth Adam or Shazam ring any bells to you?" I asked in a chit-chat tone, looking around a bit and taking the scenery in. Quite peaceful round here.

"Yes, I am very familiar with those names. How do you know of them?" Alice stated calmly while she kept her face neutral, while looking like her thoughts were doing summersaults.

"Ah, heh heh, y´see, I´m an avid reader and I occasionally read DC comics too, that´s where I got my knowledge about Teth "Black" Adam and Shazam from and then I simply shot into the blue, seeing as you share the 'Black' part of the name." I tapped my nose "That and your whole body emanates a rather interesting kind of Mana. I guess that’s the living lightning stuff, yes?"

"Correct. Considering I recently used the power of Shazam to deal with some punks I guess that particular bit of magic left a big imprint. But what about you? I do not recognize you from anything."

A big smile graced my lips. "Woohoo, I guessed right. Did I win something? Well, yours truly here," I pointed at myself "Is the Overlady. That is, I am the first female Overlord ever. The Mistress of Minions, all the Things that go bump in the night, Bane of Heroes and all that shit." I giggled a bit "Aw come on, don´t give me that look. Overlord is a pretty funny video game, you practically play the generic evil Ruler all generic Heroes go up against." I took in a deep inhale of air. "S´ pretty beautiful round here. Peaceful too. Where are we exactly? Can´t see Mt. Canter anywhere."

"That's because we're really far from that area. We are currently standing in the wheat fields that belong to the local Buffalo tribe that lives near Appleloosa. I came here to think up my next move after I defeated King Longhorn and his gang, next thing I know the Phantom Stranger pops up scaring the crud out of me and begins telling me some weird stuff, hands me your token and disappears before I can get in a word edgewise."

"Oh great, the Mild West again." A groan escaped me "After all the shit Darkrai put me through I had planned to not come anywhere near the place for a while. Ah well, what's done is done." I start rummaging through my belt pouch "Soo, you have a mysterious and annoying mentor watching your butt hn?"

"Calling him a mentor is a bit of stretch but for all intents and purposes I guess. Who knows what is going through that guy's mind." Alice sighs and rubs her temple.

"Like I said, annoying... HA!" I found what I was looking for and held my hand out, producing an object as long as my finger and formed like an exclamation mark. "There you are beautiful." I cooed to the blunt, before looking at Alice. "Do you mind if I take a puff? Found it while doing laundry and was waiting for a good moment. Seeing as its all peaceful here, I could not imagine a better one. You can have a drag too, if you want."

"Not to sound unhospitable but I'd rather you didn't, we are in a wheat field I don't want to deal with a fire. And I don't smoke."

"Fair enough." With that I stashed the joint back in my pouch. "Soo, what do you need me for? Someone to beat up or just wanna have someone who is not covered in fur to speak to? Both is fine with me."

"Well the reason I called you here was because I was hoping you could provide info on...what did Phantom Stranger call them again? Oh yes the Displaced. What are the Displaced? And who is this punk called the Merchant?"

"Ahh, so you need someone to give you 'the talk'." I patted the other woman on the shoulder with a broad grin. "Don´t ya worry Hon, let auntie Umbra here tell you all about it. Come, let´s walk a bit. I can rarely just take a walk back home without someone trying to off me."

Alice looked again like in rather deep thought before she asked "Okay, do you just want to wander in the fields or head back to town?"

"Oh, back to town sounds nice. I´m curious what kind of Verse you have here." I said and we began walking. "So, first, the Displaced. That one is simple. WE, my dearest, are the Displaced. Beings ripped from their home dimension and put into another, in this case, Equestria. From what I have gathered, most of us got displaced by the Merchant by buying some kind of prop at a con and poof, here we are. As for who the Merchant is, he is for all I know Cthulhu's little brother, an eldritch abomination with god-like powers who displaces random people for shit and giggles. But there is also at least one other being out there that does displacing too, a Filipino woman. I don't know really much about her, except that she displaced Zinnia, my..." I blushed a bit "My girlfriend. She is some kind of dragon Pokemon hybrid."

Black Alice stopped walking. "Your what?"

I stopped walking too. "My girlfriend. What? She summoned me, we fought side by side, we discovered that we both liked the same kinky shit, banged Princess Cadence and Shining Armor in Celestia´s throne room together with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, then went home to her place, just the two of us and had some more intense fun with her roomie. It was the next morning that I realized I was in love with that crazy woman and guess what, she loves me too, so we hooked up." I paused for a moment "That´s not a problem for you, or is it? That I am Bi, I mean? I promise, I won´t put any moves on you if you´re not into that."

"No, It's not that. It's just, we live in different dimensions and from what I hear long distance relationships don't work out so it just came as a surprise is all. Hell, until Phantom Stranger showed up and told me otherwise I thought I was the only one here."

"Heh, don´t worry." I waved my hand a bit to show it was ok "That´s what tokens are for Alice. Also, good transition to my next point of lecture. You see, we Displaced work a bit like the Undead in Dark Souls. Just instead of soapstone's, we have tokens. You have already mine. Tokens are technically a Displaced´s personal business card. It is an item that represents you and is infused with a fraction of our power that we program with a catchy phrase we come up with and send it out into the Multi-Verse so other Displaced can call us over for a round of jolly cooperation. There are a bajilion tokens out there and in general you can at least somewhat guess the character of a Displaced from his or her token. It´s always good to have some tokens as back-up should things get hairy. Which reminds me, if you ever find a golden banana, don´t, I repeat, DON´T use it or answer a call from someone called Donkey Kong. Obviously he is a raging sex fiend and his Verse is a rape-happy anthro Verse." I shuddered at that.

"What is the name of that verse?" Black Alice asked curiously.

"Oh, the Verses normally are named after their Displaced but that is totally unofficial. Wade, the guy I got the banana from, had accidentally wandered into there and had to protect his... well, body from the inhabitants for quite a while."

"It's 'Fall of Equestria' isn't it?" Alice guessed, looking hopeful for some reason.

"Hm? Never heard of that. From what Wade told me, the inhabitants were practically in heat all the time, males and females, and did not know how to take a No for an answer, seeing it as totally normal to force sex onto someone." I continued walking "Anyhow, every Displaced can make a token, so you should be able to do to, if you want to join the club. Just take an object that you think represents you the best, listen to the little voice in your head, put some of your juice in it and voila. The Void should take care of the rest. This way, Zinnia and I stay in contact, by the way."

"I got it." Alice stretched out her hand and cried out to the heavens.

SHAZAM!

KRAAKOOOM!

A giant lightning bolt struck and in the palm of Black Alice's hand laid a Black Ankh with the cross colored white and shaped like a lightning bolt next to it was a long horn and a feather of a hawk threaded together in a necklace.

After jumping a good meter in the air, my breathing began to normalize again "Sweet Mother Mary riding a motorcycle girl! Gimme a warning next time."

"Heh sorry. Now what should I say? Let's see....'I am Black Alice if you need help beating the shit out of someone/thing, need some healing or just want to hang out then summon me and I'll be there.' What next?"

"Well," I said only for Alice token starting to float and glow on her palm, then a small portion of the reality itself ripped open and a shower of smaller lightning bolts shot from the glowing token into the Void. That went on for a while, then the token stopped glowing, the rift closed and the token fell lifeless back into Alice hand. "That is new. At least your token is out now, I suspect." I pointed at the original token "Hey, mind if I have this?"

"Go ahead. It's a duplicate anyway. I don't know what I'd do with it." Alice said handing the necklace to me. "The Ankh is made of real Onyx at least the black part, the white is made of real pearl, the horn is real and so is the feather. Just so you know."

"Sweet, gotta love authentic bling." I grinned widely. "Hmm, that horn though, I dunno, what kind of animal was that from?"

"Oh that?" Alice smiled savagely "I ripped it off of King Longhorn. A bull who used to lead a gang that tried to take over Appleloosa. Now he is in the hospital suffering severe injuries. Heh, heh heh."

"Ho ho ho, girl! I gotta say, I like you more and more. Nothing than showing some idiot that is not as hot as he thought he is, amirite?" I tied the necklace on my belt. Then I looked around to see that we had arrived at the town´s border already. "Wow, time flies when you have fun eh Alice?"

"Indeed. Since you've been a Displaced longer than I have I doubt you'll be surprised by what you see. But still fair warning these aren't your average ponies or buffalo. They're different from the show." Alice said but I could see that there was something that worried her a bit.

"Hey, as long as they don't try to kill me on sight because I am 'evil' or can take a No if they are not my type, I think we will get along swimmingly." I answered reassuringly "I am pretty curious what you call different though."

"You'd have to do something pretty bad to get them to try to kill you but then if you did something like that then you'd be facing me too, as for what I mean by different I mean," Alice pointed to the nearest pony who was walking on two legs instead of four, neatly dressed in a western settler outfit too. "They are even more anthropomorphic than in the show."

A laugh escaped my lips. "Hot damn, another Verse with anthro ponies. Now you got me jealous Alice. It seems nearly everyone got an anthro Verse and I had to end up in a Verse with normal ponies." I quipped before finishing in a more serious tone "Not that there are not some ponies I wouldn´t push out of my bed."

"Oh? Like who? From the sounds of it you're pretty open to anyone."

"Damn right, I´m a dirty freak in all the best ways!" I laughed again "Hmm, lesse, of course Luna, Fluttershy if she would not faint on the spot, Cadence if she is anywhere as kinky as in Zinnias Verse, maybe together with Shining in a nice threesome and maybe I would even give Derpy a try. What? She´s cute plus she has dat ass."

"Fair point. I don't know what the others are like the only canon characters I've met are Little Strongheart, Braeburn, Chief Thunderhooves and King Longhorn. Truth be told I don't know if I'll ever meet any others at least not while I'm trying to pursue my new goal. Hell I don't know if I'll even have any relationships outside of friends." Alice told me. Hm, was that a hint of uncertainty in her voice?

I shrugged "Hey, it happens when it happens. Besides, ain´t nothing wrong with just a quick tumble in the sheets when you need to unwind a bit. Now," I licked my lips "Somewhere round here had to be a bar or something, I mean, this is a cowboy... cowpony? Cowpony town, there is bound to be a bar and I am pretty thirsty."

"Well there is the Salty Spittoon but I don't really go there, I don't drink." Alice pointed to a gray building that had the sounds of a fight coming from it.

"Well, I´m not about to drink my cute ass off, just one or two glasses. Come on, I´m sure they have some nonalcoholic stuff too. Ohh, and from the sound of it, there is a show too. This will be fun."

Alice shrugged and began walking toward the only building, in a way a person would normally approach a minefield or something similarly pleasant.

When we got to the bar there was indeed a fight going on but it didn't last long when the customers spotted us, they froze in place in fact the whole bar went silent.

It had a totally comic-esque quality to it. Like someone had pushed the “pause” button on the remote control of life. Even the handful of stallions that had moments prior been busy beating each other up over what looked like a game of cards, where completely frozen. One of them even had a fist hovering just a few millimeters away from his nose.

Hehehe, enter the hot, dangerous desperado chicks.<< I thought, smugly grinning before saying "Wow, please, don´t stop on our accounts fellas. We´re just here for some drinks, hn, Alice?" I nudged my new friend with my elbow. Then I marched up to the counter, leaning on it, looking for the bartender. "Hey there, barkeep. Do me a solid and fetch me a beer, that would be great. And something nonalcoholic for my friend, would you? Thanks a ton." Then I turned around, again addressing all the gathered patrons staring at me like I was Celestia, only dressed in a thong and a smile. "Hey, come on. I thought the Mild West was livelier than that. You handsome stallions are not intimidated by two women who just want a drink or two, or are you? Live up a bit." I gave a broad smile, showing all my pearly whites.

"I think it's just that they're surprised that the savior of the town would suddenly show up in a place like this." Alice ventured her guess before turning to the customers "It's alright everyone, go back to what you were doing, we are just here for some drinks and what not! In fact, Barkeep give everyone two rounds on me. That should cool everyone down." Alice pulled out a decent sized bag full of bits and placed it on the counter.

"What she said." I said, turning around to see that in front of me stood a decent sized glass with a lightly amber colored beer, capped with a small white foam crown right beside a glass with a bright yellow and sweet smelling liquid. Lemonade if I had to guess. I raised my glass to Alice, saying "Cheers." before taking a swig. "Ahhh. Wunderbar."

"Out of curiosity, are you German or do you just like saying German things?" Alice asked suddenly.

Licking the foam from my lips, I gave a short nod "German through and through. You know, now that you point it out, I realized that ever since I landed here, I had to make a conscious effort to speak my mother's tongue while I instead speak fluently English. Even my accent is mostly gone." Another sip from the delicious booze. "What about you?"

"My dad says I have Samoan in me and my mom says there's some African as well but I forget what tribe. Oh yeah, Zande."

"Hoh, neat." I emptied my glass and slammed it on the counter "That hit the spot alright. Best stuff I drank in a damn while." I looked over my shoulder, watching the returned hustle and bustle of the bar. "Ah. I just remembered something you probably should know." I held up a finger in realization. "A summon normally never lasts the same amount of time and the time one is away from one’s own Verse does not necessary conform with the time that passes in your home Verse. For example, you can be in a different Verse for a whole week and in your Verse, it could just be about an hour. The opposite can also happen. You can be in another Verse for just an hour and once you are back, you see that more than three month have passed in your Verse. And also, there is a phrase for a summoner to send a summoned Displaced back before the summon runs out on itself. I learned that from Zinnia. All you have to do is saying 'X, our contract is fulfilled/complete.' Just replace the X with the name of the Displaced. Don´t know how it works though, strange Multi-Verse shit for all I know."

"Like Narnia. I had a feeling that would be the case."

"Ha! Amen to that sister." I chuckled. "Hey, if you ever meet Aslan, gimme a call. I always wanted to ride some epic lion-god-thing around." I ordered a second beer before looking at Alice again. "Sooo, what have you been up to since you landed in magic pastel horsey land? Besides beating the snot out of gangs, I mean? Had some other epic adventures already?"

"No. I've been biding my time. Just because I've apparently arrived in a real live version of a show I watched doesn't mean it operates the same way."

"Yeah, tell me about it. First pony I met wanted to dissect me to bring forth Unicorn supremacy."

Alice couldn't help but laugh at the thought. "Unicorn supremacy? Pfft, why is it that everyone thinks that Unicorns secretly act like Nazis or some other such nonsense?"

"Dunno. Maybe because they did Celestia's and Luna's jobs before them? Seriously, no damn idea but I took an ass-load of offense at that." I nipped at my new beer. "I would not be half surprised to actually find a blonde, blue eyed earth pony called Arianne with a swastika in pink heart for a cutie mark somewhere. The Multi-Verse seems to love to fuck with me like that."

Alice's eyes went wide, "You're shitting me right? Please tell me you are kidding. Ugh, why am I surprised? Multiverse logic, of course a pony like that would exist. Next thing you know Adolf Hoofler was real." She looked close to a face-palm.

"Don´t jinx it girl!" I laughed and gave Alice a slight, friendly punch. "And my money is on Neighdolf Bittler."

Alice chuckled, then downed her lemonade in one gulp. "Why I'll bet you anything there is a pony out there who believes in communism."

That got another chuckle out of me. "Oh, I can totally see it. Probably short, chubby and a pot cut."

"Nah, most likely it will turn out to be a combination of Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer."

"Do ho ho, then Equestria would be royally fucked." And down went the rest of my beer. "Haaah. Well, at least you could more or less chill since you got here. Me? Gnarl is sicking my ass all over Equestria to retrieve my lost Minion hives. Hives are where my Minions are born at. Until now I only had to face a Diamond Dogs Alpha who wanted to wear my skin as a cape and made my tower his new doghouse. If that trend would continue, I would not be surprised if I end up going against every major bad guy just to get my stuff back."

"Sounds rough. By the way, why do you call yourself "evil"? You don't act villainous, anti-heroic or even anti-villainous, so why?"

"Ohh, mostly for appearances. But the other reason is that ponies seemed to be chronically unable to see grayscales, they just see black and white. I killed a Unicorn and two Griffins out of self-defense, yet my face looks from nice posters with a big sum underneath. Also, I always like to say 'There are the good Guys and the bad Guys and the good Guys assign the bad Guys'. So what if I kick a puppy today because I feel like it and tomorrow I rescue blind orphans from a burning building. Oh, plus ponies, at least in most Verses, are extremely xenophobic and two-faced. Love and Harmony for all, sure, as long as you are a pony. If not, BAMM! Say hello to the orbital rainbow cannon. So I simply stopped caring to correct them. If they like me, like Lyra, fine. If not, I trip them, take their cakes and run for it." At the end of my little tirade, I simply shrugged.

"So the xenophobia is actually a thing and not just the staff being stupid? Huh. Well I don't know about the rest of the world but Appleloosa seems just fine when it comes to non-ponies, I suppose it's a given considering they live with a lot of non-ponies. How many non-ponies live in or near Ponyville? Three, four, five?"

"Seems mostly a thing in Norm-Verses. Anthro ponies seem a bit more open." I hummed before counting on my hand "Non ponies in Ponyville eh? There´s Spike but he is out because he is cute. Then there is Zecora, she was shunned for years just because she is a zebra. Oh and of course there is Mister DeLacey." I said, deliberately not saying the name Discord out lout.

"Don't forget the donkey couple Cranky and Matilda plus that one mule that shows up at random times.

"Oh yes, can´t forget those three. Hey, wanna see something cool I learned from one of Twilight's books?"

"Sure but if you genderbend me we are going to have a major physical debate on our hands." Alice warned.

"Oohh, really?" I licked my lips with half-lidded eyes before grinning. "Don´t worry, I can´t do that stuff. But what I can do is..." I concentrated on my Pony spell again and felt the warm tingle of the illusion wash over me, making me look like a normal pony with a slightly smaller, female Big Mac build with black fur, brown bedhead mane and tail, yellow eyes and a red scary face for a cutie mark. "This. Ta-daa."

"Nice. Must be handy for when you want to hide in plain sight. Though I bet I could top that." Alice grinned mischievously.

"It´s hella useful for buying panties, let me tell ya. There is this shop in Ponyville called 'Refrigerators & Lingerie', they sell some damn fine undies. I swear if I had not found that shop by chance while I was in Wade's Verse so I could go shopping there in mine, going commando would have become a habit for me." I let the spell fall away and leaned on the counter with an equally mischievous smile, completely ignoring the small crowd my little stunt had attracted. "Do tell, or better, do show me."

"I wouldn't know, I don't wear panties. SHAZAM!"

"Wait, what? Oh shit, not aga...."

KKRRRAAKKOOOM!!!

A bolt of divine lightning struck and Alice disappeared but in her place was an exact copy of me, only more enhanced in every sense of the word.

"God damn..." I stared with a slightly open mouth "Girl, just now I am sooo ready for some masturbation if you catch my drift. Never knew the living lightning could do that."

"Few do. I'll admit even I didn't know at first until I picked up an issue of "The Power Of Shazam" where Billy used it to become his "Uncle" and since they hardly utilize Captain Marvel anymore well... it fell into obscurity."

"Now that´s good to know if I ever met another Displaced with your powers. And another fact for my personal trivia treasure chest. That and that you are a professional commando." I winked at “myself”.

"I highly doubt you'll meet anyone with a power like mine. And I do not go commando, I just don't wear panties."

"It´s a damn big Multi-Verse, ya never know." I sing-songed before asking in a more conspiratory voice with a shiteating grin "Uuuh, thongs then? Or are you more a boxer shorts type?"

"Maybe but I still doubt it, I don't just call upon the power of Shazam and the latter, panties just don't suit me.

Not in my head, there they suit you just fine, ho yeah.<<

"Well, if you say so and... Oh..." I was about to ask Alice about what other power she had beside the living lightning as the Multi-Verse once again demonstrated its immaculate timing as I felt the tugging at my core. "Oh lovely, looks like my time is over for now." Blue light began to erupt from underneath me "See ya later Alice, don´t be a stranger and give me a call. Or maybe I call you over sometimes. Toodles." And with that, I was whisked back home.

I was unceremoniously dumped in the middle of my throne room. With a sigh I stood up and made a beeline to my room. All those talking about going commando and preferences about panties had gotten to me.

Garl?<<

Yes Milady?<<

The next hour or so, my rooms is a restricted area, I have to let off some steam.<<

Author's Note

Another last minute update.

This is a crossover brought to you in collaboration with the lovley Inazuma and her story "Black Fury, Red Logic". Go give it a looksee, it´s really gud.^^b

13. Mighty Morphin´ Canine Ranger of Justice

-13. Mighty Morphin´ Canine Ranger of Justice –

“Ninety nine… one hundred!” The Beast smashed through the last two targets made of barrels my Minions had fashioned into training dummies for me. Where the little buggers got a seemingly endless amount of these for me to use in the training regime Gnarl insisted in chasing me through, I never knew. They just did.

“Gnarl, I´m through with my training for today!” I huffed, blinking the sweat away that kept flowing into my eyes.

“Well done Milady,” my wrinkly advisor commented “Even though at the last twelve targets your form got a bit sloppy.”

Turning to Gnarl, I glared at the form of the old Minion who sat in a cozy kinda-lawn chair, a glass with a unidentified green sludge, decorated with a little paper umbrella and a roach on a toothpick in his hand.

“Really Gnarl?” I half-snapped, gesturing to the firewood that littered the whole training room up to my ankles.

Taking a sip from his fancy Minion drink, Gnarl shrugged. “I simply state as it is Milady but I can asure your Ladyship has gotten leagues better since we started training.”

Swinging my mace on my shoulder I gave a huff before turning to leave. “Yeah, whatever. I´ll go to the kitchen now and finish of that last piece of cake if someone needs me.”

Gnarl was saying something but I did not heard it completely since my feet were doing a swell job imitating Roadrunner to get the rest of me into the kitchen, with my stomach cracking a whip at them.

In the kitchen, Wiener was busy with stirring a huge ass kettle of slob that was meant to feed the Minions, humming a catchy tone in his raspy-squeaky voice. He nodded at me with the usual demented smile all Browns seen to wear by default, never ceasing to stir the bog like substance. Heh, as long as the Minions liked it, who was I to judge? The only thing that somehow unsettled me was the fact that the kettle had the face of a man with a bushy beard engraved on it, in some kinda Nordic looking fashion. That thing sends shivers down my spine whenever I came near it. Also, for some reason there was always a single apple core showing up in the kettle, no matter how good or often Wiener cleaned it.

Showing that thoughts aside, I took the last piece of marble cake from the pantry and sat down on the big table in the middle of the kitchen. “Hmm, I really need Lyra to send me some more stuff like this.” I said to myself, taking a hold of the confectionary goodness in front of me.

//Umbra?//

Oh fuck me sideways, why now? And why did that sounded more like a question than anything else?<< was all that went through my mind as my body began to lose substance and the last thing I saw before I completely left my Verse was the last piece of cake falling through my hand and splattering on the table.

In the typical bright flash of blue light, I appeared... in front of a really shabby looking shack? To say I was a bit miffed would have been an understatement, since whoever called me caught me just seconds before I could devour a piece of pastry that was left from my trip to Ponyville. For whatsoever reason, the baked good had not made the trip in this Verse even though I had it in my hand just moments before.

"Okay, whoever called me, you owe me a piece of marble cake with extra frosting! And where the fuck am I?" I yelled angrily.
As I was yelling, a person stepped out from the shack, "Sorry, no cake here. But if you don't mind, I think the cafeteria's serving chocolate."

The newcomer wore a uniform of deep blue armor plates on a black bodysuit. A long sword hung on his hip and a double zero adorned his chest. Wait, it was a one hundred; there was a one that was kinda hard to spot. The helmet was sporting something that looked like sheaths for pointy ears.

While I studied the strangely armored figure, my gaze was drawn to the full bags with a weirdly printed cash sigil on them behind him.
"What the freakin fuck?" Was that a honest to goddess Power Ranger? And more important, where this back full of gold coins behind him? That made me drool a bit, thankfully under my helmet.

"Heh, chocolate is fine too. So, I take you called me yes?" I asked in a chit-chat tone, my eyes still fixed on all that loot. "Hey, say, by chance, is that loot behind ya claimed already?"

"If you mean the loot that I recovered from a group of bandits and am going to return to its rightful owners," the Ranger said while fingering his sword, "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Aww, come on now. Don't be such a stick in the mud buddy. Bandits stole it hn? So, hey, I just thought, why don’t we tell the owners that you only found, dunno, some pocket change left and we split the rest between us hn?" I offered, feeling the urge to take it all for myself boil inside me. "Tell you what, since you did all the hard work, I´ll would even give you fifty five percent."

Just to be on the safe side, I called my Minions, Reds and Browns, amassing a veritable mass of kobolds behind me, leaning my mace on my shoulder in a casual way.

"Does not sound too shabby hn?"

The Ranger chuckled as he pulled out his badge, "Allow me to introduce myself, Commander Cruger, Space Patrol Delta, a cop. Besides, thirty fife? Really? I was hoping for a hundred, you know, like in the show. I raided mafia strongholds that had more guys.”

"Aw bummer, I knew I had seen your armor somewhere." I responded, eying the badge. "Also, please don´t diss my little friends alright? They are way stronger than your regular mook, goon or whatever you normally get thrown at you."

I swung my mace from my shoulder in a slight arc in front of me. "So, I take you will try to arrest me now hn?"

Cruger put his badge away, "Actually, since you were the first human I've seen in over a thousand years, and appear to have the abilities of one of my favorite games, I was gonna compare notes with you over a pizza. But if you want to try to take what ain't yours," Cruger drew his sword and energized it, "I can always put you in a containment card first."

I chuckled, gripping my mace harder. "Why, ain´t you a charmer. You at least invite a lady to dinner before breaking out the serious stuff." Sending the mental signal to my Minions to be ready for battle, I focused Mana in my left palm, prepping a Fireball. "Well, normally I would accept dinner in an instant but you see, I feel a bit adventurous right now. Sooo... let´s scrap!"

My hand shot forward, sending my Minions into battle even though I added the mental command not to kill this guy.

Just a moment before my Browns got in reach, I threw my spell, toned down a bit but still strong enough to knock Mr. Mighty Morphin´ off his feet. Just before the spell hit him, Cruger slashed the air in front of him with his sword, creating a rift that swallowed the fireball before closing. With another swing, he made another rift that launched the same fireball into a group of Browns, scattering them like ninepins.

"Hey, that´s cheating!" I yelled, a smirk under my helm "I like ya!"

Cruger chuckled, "I aint yo momma's Cruger."

"Fitting reply!" I shot back, commanding my Reds to provide cover while the Browns and I charged. At this point, I really, really wanted to send that guy flying.

A mental command later, my Browns made for a pincer maneuver to take Mr. Cruger from both sides, which would allow me to punt his blue armored ass all the way over to Mount Canter. Maybe I would invite him for a beer afterwards, provided he would be a good loser. I wasn't prepared for him to open a portal beneath him for him to drop into. However, I was less surprised when my Browns smashed into each other when he disappeared.

"You can port yourself too? Aw come on!"

I harshly addressed my kobolds who tried to untangle themselves "Get yourself together, up you wastes of souls!"
While I did that, I switched to my Ley sight. Maybe, just maybe I could track that fellows Mana residue, if his skills used Mana that is.

Alright, I can see it, there is his residue.<< I thought with some degree of satisfaction, following the smoky Mana residue left behind by Crugers skill. >>Now let´s see, he left there and now he is... got ya now!<< Following the trail, it lead behind me, while a bit distant. The Beast prepped for a swing, I twirled around.

Cruger was on a small hill with two small portals overtop each other throwing stones into them. Looking closer, there was a small waterfall of pebbles flowing between them. Noticing my gaze, Cruger turned towards me. "First rule of portals, speedy thing goes in," I paled as I figured out his plan, "speedy thing comes out." With a wave of his hand, Cruger dismissed the upper portal and summoned another, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!

"OH FUCK!" was all I could yell before a hailstorm of pebbles rained down on me, clanking off my helmet for the most part but still enough of the stones hit their mark and boy, did that hurt. Darkness be thanked for my sturdier body or I might had lost an eye. Still, that would leave me with a... well, blacker eye.

"Owowowowowowow, my face, my beautiful face!" I yelled, stumbling back in a fashion the monster of the day in a Rangers episode would do as soon as it got hit. After the last stone had hit me, I made a show out of pointing my finger at Cruger, proclaiming loudly "I´ll get you for that Ranger!"

Cruger chuckled "You do know this isn't an Eighties kids show right?"

"Way to make me feel old and kill the mood in one go." I grumped back, beginning to sprint towards Cruger with my Minions. During the sprint, I griped a Brown at his scruff and threw the happily gibbering projectile towards my opponent. The moment the Minion left my hand, I built up a new spell, this time my Corruption Burst. A hail of Firebolts from my Reds zoomed overhead.

Cruger swung his sword, using my thrown Minion's own momentum to cleave it in two. With another swing, he launched a burst of blue magic that swatted most of the Firebolts out of the sky. However, to my great delight, he was unable to block my Corruption Burst. The disorientation allowed the remainder of the Firebolts to hit their mark. I approached the resulting cloud of smoke with a bit more caution than previously, I may be as dramatic as a Power Ranger villain at times, but I was not as stupid. When the smoke cleared, he was nowhere to be found. Activating my Ley vision, I followed his port to the base of a nearby cliff. There was Cruger his armor scorched and looking rather pissed, that was when I noticed the boulders he was standing next to.

Uh oh.

"That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy," Cruger growled as he opened portals beneath the boulders. I just managed to get out of the way before his impromptu meteor shower squashed half of my Minions.

"Fucking fuck!" I just yelped as I scrambled to my feet. Quickly calling Minion reinforcements, I tried to come up with a good plan that would not involve ending up in a bloody smear.

I send the whole of my Minions, Reds and Browns alike in a wave towards Cruger, intending to keep the space doggy immobilized until he calmed down a bit. Dying over some bits in another Verse where death could be permanent, nope, not wanna.

The Minions gibbered happily as they threw themselves at the blue armored Ranger and clung to his arms and legs. He opened a portal beneath him, disappearing into it along with the Minions holding onto him. While I readied my Ley sight to track him, the screaming of my Minions made that unnecessary. Looking up, I saw that my Minions had let go of Cruger, instead attempting to learn to fly as they fell from what looked like a thousand feet. The amusement of my Minion's predicament prevented me from seeing the massive beam of energy until I was unable to dodge. As it hit me and everything turned black only one thing went through my head.

Fuck.<<

[…]

I awoke, not really expecting to, in a strange white room. Looking around, I saw what looked like a piece of chocolate cake bigger than I was. >>If this is heaven, I'm cool with that.<< As I reached out to eat that cake from the inside out, my hands came into contact with a barrier. Just as I was bemoaning being sent to hell, I heard that bastard's voice.

"I told ya I'd put you in a containment card."

I hammered my fist against the barrier a few times, producing a gong like sound. With a pitiful moan, I then slid down the barrier. "You know that torture was banned by the Geneva Convention right?"

Cruger chuckled, "It's not torture, it's incentive. If you promise to play nice I'll let you out here and now. A little chat, a little triple layer chocolate fudge cake, and you can be on your way. Sounds like a good deal right?"

Grumbling something into my helmet, I raised a hand and mumbled a bit louder "Okay, uncle! There, I said it. Now please let me out before I go crazy because I have this ginormous piece of chocolate cake in front of me and can´t get to it."

With a flash of light, the room disappeared leaving standing in front of a table with a much smaller, though admittedly generous, slice of cake.

"Should have mentioned, objects outside of the card are larger than they appear."

I turned around to see Cruger outside of his armor, though I was surprised to see that he actually looked the lovechild of a blue lizard and a German Shepherd.

"Wow, no offense buddy but I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to rub your stomach to see if you would kick your legs." I stated as blunt as a battering ram. "Oh and... hehe ... sorry bout that whole thing over that loot. Guess being surrounded by dragons slash half dragons rubbed a bit off on me."

Cruger just chuckled, "Not to mention a certain sentient walnut who says 'evil always finds a way' every other sentence if my guess is correct. Now, if you don't mind, how exactly did you make Gnarl's acquaintance?"

My eyes snapped back from the piece of heaven on a plate to Cruger. "Huh? Oh ya, Gnarl. Mind if we talk while we eat? My blood sugar is a bit low right now." Without waiting I took a seat at the table, that by the way stood in a rather spacious and Sci-Fi looking apartment, taking the fork besides the plate. My helmet found its place on the table for unhindered eating.

Cruger just smiled as he gestured to a counter with a various assortment of goodies, "And why do you think I made my famous spaghetti and meat sauce if I did?" He loaded a plate with the succulent smelling combination of pasta, tomatoes, and ground beef and sat across from me, gesturing for me to begin.

"Dude, I´m this close to smooching ya on the snout." I stated before stuffing my mouth with chocolaty goodness, not even bothering to suppress my blissful moan. After swallowing and regaining my bearing a bit, I addressed the meat of the matter. "So I take that I am the first Displaced you made contact with then, yes?"

Cruger nodded, "Displaced huh? Well that at least makes me feel a bit better about my situation." I stared at him in confusion as he explained, "Now which would be better, being the only shmuk in the Multiverse that this happened to, or one of several?"

"Ah, so you know about the Multiverse theory already. Good, makes it easier for me there." I speared another piece of cake with my fork "First of, from what I have learned, each or better most of us bought something from a shady vendor on a Con and BÄMM! Grats, you are now in Equestria and are what you were dressed up as. Have fun surviving. Thus the name Displaced. In my case; I bought a new gem for my gauntlet and the next thing I remember was making an orbital entrance to the fucking planet. Fought for my life in the Badlands, met Gnarl and the Minions, erected a dark Tower and now I am jumping between Verses like a rubber ball on cocaine when I not try to find my lost hives." Again my taste buds where met by rich chocolate. "Sweet merciful Mother of Everything, this is some glorious cake! You with me so far?"

Cruger nodded, "For me, it was buy my sword, teleport straight to Equestria," I cursed the Multiverse, I become a meteor while he just pops straight to ground level, "Get in a fight with a dozen Griffins," okay, maybe it just screwed with different people in different ways, "rescue filly Celestia and Luna, almost get blasted by their mom over a misunderstanding, become their bodyguard for five years, head of my own SPD for the next twenty, and finally get locked by Discord in my own HQ for the following thousand. By the way, you see your Discord, give him a punch in the snout for me would ya?"

"Will do. So, just to sate my curiosity, Celly´s and Luna´s Mom, is she really Faust? Y´know, white coat, maroon mane, Alicorn?"

Cruger nodded, "Yep, at least in this corner of the Multiverse. But be careful, her talent might be writing, but a close second is DEFINITELY combat magic." Cruger took a bite of his pasta, gonna have to try some of that next and pulled out my token. "Next question, what's this?"

"Need to remember that. Kay, that, my dear canine friend is a token. More precise, my token. Imagine it as some kind of business card for us Displaced. It is more or less like the Soapstone's in Dark Souls, they let you call other Displaced for some jolly cooperation. They are made by infusing a item that represents you the best with a fraction of your essence/magical energy/ki/whatever you will call it and a catchy phrase. Then, the Void between the Verses sucks it in on its own normally and spreads it throughout the Multiverse. So far, I have these." I said, placing Wades Cube, Zinnias Anklet and Black Alice's Ankh on the table.

Cruger studied them, as well as the one in his hand, before digging into one of his coat's inner pockets. He pulled out a silver shield shaped badge bearing the profile of a dog's head and the word 'POLICE' at the top. As he infused his token he spoke. "I am Anubis Cruger, the Shadow Ranger. Should you need my aid, or merely my counsel, call on me. But be warned, you, as well as your foes, shall face my Judgment." As he opened a portal and prepared to drop it in, he looked at me, "What do ya think, too corny?"

"Puh~lease, you heard mine. I sound like a stereotypical bad OC, I mean, my color scheme even is red and black. All I now need is a katana." I responded, waving a hand around before re-collecting my own tokens, putting Wades token back in my pouch, tying Alice Ankh to my belt again and slid Zinnias token on my arm, even though it was meant for legs. "Well, that means you are now officially introduced to the Multiverse. Word of advice, tell your friends. Time works in strange ways when you are summoned. Days can be hours, seconds can be years and Darkness forbid, minutes could be decades."

Cruger chuckled, "I'll keep that in mind." As he dropped his new token into the portal and closed, he looked back at me. "I wonder who'll get it?"

I was about to answer as a portal opened and dropped a copy of his token, squashing the remainder of my cake.

"Fuck you Murphy!"

As I bemoaned the loss of such perfection, Cruger merely chuckled, "Well, that's one of life's little rhetorical questions answered."

I did not respond to that, seeing as I was too busy licking the remains of my poor cake from my new token. Waste not, want not and all that.

Finishing cleaning and stowing away my new token, I went for a plate of pasta myself. After taking a seat again, I took a look out of the window from where I sat. "Hey, what kind of Verse is this by the way? Feral or Anthro?"

"Anthro, and as you may have noticed, omnivorous." Having finished his plate, he went over to the counter. I didn't notice what he was up to, but I had bigger things on my mind. When he said his sauce was famous, I didn't quite believe him, now I did.

I was still slurping up the pasta when he returned, a plate of cake on top on a white box. He placed the box in front of me before removing his plate, "For the road." I salivated, knowing what was probably inside.

"You’re a Saint among us Displaced Anubis." I breathed, my eyes watering from joy. "Also, fuck me running with a chainsword, another Anthroverse. Soooo jealous right now."

"Please, just Cruger. Now, since something tells me that under normal circumstances these tokens have an arbitrary time limit, I think I can use my dimension magic to keep you from snapping back until after dinner."

"Aw, I was right, you are really a gentleman." I purred, batting my eyes for effect. Must have looked like when someone pulled a curtain over a light source I imagined. "Yes, you are right. Tokens have indeed a rather random time limit. Can be hours, days, weeks. There is a phrase to send a Displaced back too. Just say 'X, our contract is complete.' with the Displaced's name instead of the X."

"If it's all the same to you, I'll just pour a bit of magic into your token. Now if you don't mind, I think there's some Caesar Salad calling for me."

As we ate, we discussed various exploits we had, I laughed at his tale of the wannabe mad genius who tried to take over Canterlot with a swarm of rock eating Parasprites, while he flinched as I told him of my extremely unpleasant near death experience. As we finished dinner, well, ran out of food, I got to my feet, cradling that white box like it was made of gold.

Cruger fished out my token, "Before you go, want some advice?" I nodded. "First, you have skill, but not a lot of experience. I mean seriously, a simultaneous pincer attack on a single target by Minions of dubious intelligence? You were just asking me to pull a disappearing act."

"In my defense, all I had to battle until now where Diamond Dogs and two Chimeras. So simple maneuvers worked pretty well."

Cruger nodded "Fair enough. Second, call ME a Diamond Dog and you go back in the card." There was a serious look on his face, he must really hate being called a Diamond Dog.

"Yes sir."

Cruger's grin returned, "Good. Third, I know you're an Overlord, but don't try teaming up with Tirek. Punching him, on the other hand, can be quite therapeutic."

"Hehe, shame I have no grenades." I smirked, giving my best impression of my Saints Row character.

Cruger chuckled as he charged my token, "Finally, don’t use my token if you’re going to attack Equestria, I rigged it to explode if my summoner has bad intentions."

As I felt the familiar tug of the void, I couldn't help but notice that last part. "Wait, what?"

Before he could respond, I found myself back in my tower. Looking to see that the box was still there, I prepared to enjoy some chocolatey goodness when I heard Gnarl calling.

"Milady, Milady where are you?" The pitter patter of his feet grew louder and my advisor came around a corner, into the room. "Thank Darkness, there you are again Milady. You were gone for almost a whole day."

"Yeah, sorry Gnarl, I was summoned again." I admitted sheepishly.

An unamused expression settled in Gnarls wrinkly face as he noticed the box in my hands. With a sigh, he slightly shook his head.

"Well Milady, at least you brought cake."

Author's Note

Aa~aand the last last minute update, this time a crossover with cyberlord4444 and his Power Rangers themed story "SPD Emergency".
A true delight working with him, Power Rangers are forever one of my fave shows.

14. Daring Do and the Demon Queen

-14. Daring Do and the Demon Queen-

Whew. Being Overlady sure was a handful. That much has been made clear the last few days. Still, for all the new responsibilities I found myself with, I now had the added luxury of being my own boss. How great was that? I worked when I want, where I want, as much as I want. If I wanted to take a day off, boom, done. If I wanted a lackey (Lyra, mostly) to bring me a mug of cocoa or a snack while I lounged on my sweet throne, that was good too, but by far one of the best perks I enjoyed is that there's no set time for me to wake up.

Eeyup.

I could spend the better part of a hour snuggly wuggly in my bed while the haze of sleep lifted from me, and I really enjoyed it. By far one of the best parts of my day. So when I wake up, greeted with the unpleasant and quite painful feeling of several little knives stabbing into my tongue, you can understand how the day would already be ruined for me.

With a gurgled scream that would do the mother of all banshees proud, I was rudely awakened to a searing pain and the taste of blood in my mouth. Flailing and tossing around, I eventually found my face saying howdy-do to the stone cold floor. Great, now I can add a possibly broken nose and a bruised chin.

Panicking, on instinct, I flung a series of powerful Corruption Bursts in all directions, while the pitter patter of Minion feet signaled my loyal kobolds, who burst through the door, weapons drawn, chanting war cries that turned to panic as a couple of them were caught in the lightning only to fall, a twitchy, smoky mess. Oops.

"My Lady! What is the meaning of this?" Gnarl demanded as he stepped over one of the felled, twitching Browns. "Why do you scream like a nagging housewife so early in the morning? Are you on one of your 'days'?"

A series of gurgled insults and curses was my only response, hands over my mouth and eyes shut in pain. Luckily, my enhanced Overlord healing quickly stopped the blood flow that nearly choked me. The overall tongue, though, that was another story. Moaning miserably, I gingerly removed my hands, stood up and made for the nearest mirror, ignoring the Minions' inquisitive looks and I think I saw Giblet poking one of his fallen compatriots with the base end of his halberd.

A quick once over did not paint a pretty picture, further fueling my already foul mood. Those Corruption Bursts had not been kind to my belongings. Furniture lay smoking, splintered and in tatters. Scorch marks dotted the floor, walls and ceilings. The curtains and banners spread throughout my chambers were either in tatters or ablaze and my awesomely soft bed was a mangled, charred mess. All in all, not the best way to start my day.

"M-master! Are you alright?" I heard Lyra's voice cry out, but saw no trace of her. I spotted her by the magical aura that enveloped a grumbling Brown, hovering in the air just in front of a vaguely equine shape. Apparently, minty horse had used the hapless Minion as a living meat shield. Releasing her hold on the Brown, who quickly scampered off, grumbling and shooting glares at my oblivious lackey, Lyra came closer and no sooner did I opened my mouth that her eyes went wide and she gasped, bringing a hoof to her mouth. "Master... your mouth..."

Fighting the urge to panic, I lunged for the nearest mirror. The sight was not pretty, no siree. Bedhead did not suit my normally ravishing looks at all. Blood smeared over my face and hair and my eyes had that haggard look to them. Ugh, good thing Zinnia's not here to see me like this.

I inspected my mouth, but didn't see what freaked out Lyra. Looked pretty normal, really. Deciding instead to get a good look at my poor, poor tongue, I opened my mouth and...

"What the fuggin' fraaaak!"

My teeth! What happened to my teeth?! Why are my pearly whites replaced with... with... fangs?! I used my fingers to stretch my cheeks as far as they could go. Every single non-molar of my teeth were replaced with Alucard-level fangs.

Turning to my Minions, who murmured in approval of my new set of chompers, I spotted the walking, wrinkled walnut.

"Explain!" I ordered while pointing to my new teeth.

Gnarl's mug brightened in glee. "Ah, I see Your Ladyship. This is good news, good news indeed," he chortled while rubbing his gnarled hands. "This is a good sign, my Lady. It is standard procedure that the Overlord's body undergo changes as Your Evilness grows in power. Your teeth are only one of many possible changes the blessing of the Overlord may bestow upon you. And may I say, my Lady, you look more like an evil ruler already," he said in glee before devolving into sinister cackles. The other Minions too voiced their approval and some even performed a little dance.

Both hands covered my face as I let out a long, aggravated growl. It's too early to deal with this shit. Harpbutt was still there, not knowing whether to worry or join in with the Minions' cheers.

"Lyra. Coffee. Now." I growled in a low voice.

Minty horse immediately took on the proverbial picture of the deer in the headlights. Eyes wide, body frozen and ears erect. Slowly, a sheepish smile graced her features, her head lowered, ears folded back and begun to tap her front hooves timidly. "Ah... well, you see, Master, the thing is... I... may have, kinda, sorta, possibly..." She sucked in a breath, head turning and eyeing me warily. "Drank the last of it."

"HEARTSTRINGS!"

[…]

The door to the throne room opened, where my most faithful lackey/thrall meekly poked her head in.

"What?" I snapped irritably. I still hadn't forgiven Lyra for that little debacle a few hours ago. Minty Horse had felt the full extent of my wrath, as it should be, given she made an already shitty morning even shittier by performing the most unforgivable crime of downing the last of my morning Joe.

Feeling particularly vindictive, I'd sent the hapless unicorn on a quest to immediately fetch me the best coffee beans she could get her little hooves on. I didn't bother with the details and merely left it up to her how she'd go about doing it. Whatever it was, it must have made for an interesting story, for Minty Horse now returned, holding a steaming mug of Joe in her magic as she slowly trotted towards me.

I couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow. Lyra's mane, usually minty and white now looked singed and blackened with soot. A trail of what looked to be dried blood evident coming from one nostril, her knees scraped, a black eye and she was apparently out of breath. Truly, my lackey had an interesting story to tell.

But I didn't care about that at the moment, no siree.

"Well?" I asked as Minty Horse stopped at the foot of my throne.

Swallowing audibly, Lyra presented her offering. "M-medium dark roast, grown in the hills of Neighcaragua, espresso-ground and steeped for two minutes, Prench-pressed. Just the way you like it, Your Evilness."

I took the offered drink, eyeing it critically. It passed inspection and after some deliberation, I took a sip. "It is acceptable," was my verdict.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Lyra fell on all fours, well, you know what I mean. Mare looked like she'd been through hell. Eh, I was still kinda pissed anyway. I dismissed my lackey to go freshen up and take care of herself, which she readily did and shortly after, Gnarl came in, giving the day's report. Apparently, since our tower was doing well, we'd now started to get a rodent problem. Well, not so much a problem for my kobolds, who considered the little vermin delicious snacks, but oh well.

Oh, and also, Gnarl had heard through Patches that our supply of precious gems and metals, was steadily declining. Not surprising, considering we'd been hoarding them like crazy, with Onyx and sometimes even Zinnia eating away at the gems like they were sweets and Welder churning out literal tons of armor and weapons of all kinds to equip my loyal Minion troops with. We'd have to start expanding real soon if we didn't want our well to dry up.

Gnarl proposed when this took place, we reform the tunnels as an extension of the tower, with secret passages, rooms, booby traps and other evil accoutrements. Not a bad idea, Dungeon Keeper-ish in its entity, really and no sooner did I start to engage him in a serious conversation about it (turns out, he was actually kind of pleasant to talk to when he got in his businessman mode. Who knew?) that the door to the throne room opened with a rather violent bang.

Gnarl squawked in surprise while I jumped slightly in my throne, for running towards us, arms and limbs flailing like a windmill, was a Brown who had seen better days. The little guy was smeared with some unholy stinking gunk from head to toe, some kind of weed like plants hung from his ears, giving the image of hair growing out of them and the spear he held onto was bend like it had been used to whack someone over the head with it repeatedly.

"Gizzard!" Gnarl admonished in his stern old guy voice, even going so far as to shake his walking stick in the typical way of a Grandpa trying to shoo some youngins off his lawn. "What is the meaning of this? I made it clear our Lady and I were not to be interrupted during our report? Do you want to be hung by your ears?"

The Brown, apparently named Gizzard (who comes up with these names anyway?) bowed low and began to jabber away in rapid fire, uh, Minionese. I dunno. Anyway, Gnarl's wrinkled visage of annoyance and anger slowly gave way as the younger kobold chattered away, complete with exaggerated gestures, eyes bulging out and nearly foaming at the mouth.

Gnarl now looked very much pensive as he stroked his chin evilly and dismissed Gizzard, who bowed once more before scampering out the room, closing the door shut.

"You gonna make me ask, walnut? What was all that about?" I asked once we were alone once more.

The ancient Minion turned slowly, a sinister, triumphant smile on his weathered mug. Kinda creepy, really. "Good news Milady!" Gnarl declared triumphantly.

Great and right now, all I needed was a red-head, a cyclops and a robot to make this one complete.

"Do I really want to know?" I asked, eying Gnarl carefully almost afraid he would suddenly don a white coat and ridiculous thick glasses.

Giving me a smile that managed to make my skin crawl, Gnarl held up one of his spindly fingers. "Hmm, I would say so Milady, very much so. For you see, Gizzard just told me that he had found something, something very important to your Ladyships campaign of darkness and evil in this horrible land."

Taking a long sip from my coffee, I signaled my adviser to go on. Geez, now he had made me curious.

"Well, you see Milady, it seems that Gizzard just managed to locate an object that is brimming with the might of the Dark Ruler. From what I managed to glean from his ramblings, he found this object in a large swamp just north-east from our current location, sprawling out at the base of the mountains who surround these dreaded wastelands we happened meet in. I think these swamps are called the Hayseed Swamps if the map in the tactical room is anything to go by."

The Hayseed Swamps. Hmm, I didn't know much about them. Really, all I gleaned from the show is that they are home to a bunch of backwoods, inbred yokels straight out of Deliverance and some weird pits that shot out fire. Oh, and the chimera. Can't forget the chimera. Darkness, I hate chimeras!

"And did Gizzard say what kind of object this was?" I already had a sneaking suspicion, but just wanted to make sure.

"Unfortunately no, my Lady. Minions can sense magic, and all Gizzard was able to glean from it is it contained large amounts of dark power, not unlike that of Your Evilness."

Ah, a Minion artifact then? Oh, hell yeah! Wonder what it did? Extra health, larger Mana pool, increased number of my Minion forces?

"This is good news, Gnarl. Very good news indeed," I chuckled and steepled my fingers in a manner Mr. Burns would be proud of. "We need to recover this object immediately."

Gnarl nodded and bowed. "Very well my Lady. I shall assemble a team of our most able-bodied Minions to go and retrieve this object for Your Evilness."

"That won't be necessary," I cut in and stood from my throne, grabbing the Beast and my helmet, placing them onto my hip. "I will personally take this little mission. Call off your kobolds but have them on stand-by. I'll call them if I need them."

Gnarl looked curious for all but a second before he agreed and left me to my own devices. Now why do I think that if I were a guy Overlord he'd insist on me taking kobolds to cover my sweet ass? I wouldn't be surprised if he secretly hoped I'd get killed or something so that he could take the throne himself like almost all the fanbase speculated was his ultimate goal.

Anyway, I had better things to occupy my mind. After he went out, I sent Gnarl a mental link, ordering him to tell Lyra to meet me in the main hall of my tower. I didn't have to wait long and not a minute passed after I arrived that Lyra did as well, only...

"What are you wearing?"

Before me stood Minty Horse but now she was decked out in some kind of long, hooded cloak that concealed half of her face in its shadows and just to be sure, she wore some kind of half mask that covered her upper face that looked kinda baroque to me, made of porcelain and... was that gold? Friggin´ ponies and their ridiculous riches! Anyways, the cloak also hid her barrel and her hind legs, leaving only her front legs out in the open and speaking of front legs, they now stuck in some kind of, well, arm warmers for the lack of better words which seemed to be made of the same material as the cloak. Both in such a pitch black, it looked like someone had emptied an ink-well all over Lyra.

"Do you like it Master? I made it all by myself in order to look the part of a proper servant." Lyra chirped, doing a little swirl on the spot to show all of her outfit of to me. As she did that, I noticed that the cloak had my helm sigil stitched onto its back in a deep red, not unlike the faux cutie mark of my pony form.

In short, Lyra looked like your stereotypical cannon fodder cultist and I wasted no time in telling her so. That however did not seem to have the desired effect as she actually took it as approval from my side, doing another one of her little happy dances. Which of course, given her attire, looked all the more comical.

Groaning, I did the sensible thing and dragged my hand down my face.

"Okay, your new cosplay aside Lyra, I guess you wonder why I have called for you?"

Stopping her dance, amber eyes looked up to me, little twinkles of excitement clearly visible. "Yes Master," she nodded before gasping "Oh, are we going to conquer Canterlot now and you need me to lead you and your Minions through the old catacombs in order to surprise Celestia and Luna and take the Royal Guard on the wrong hoof? Oh, and you must also deal with the Bearers of the Elements. I could personally lead a team of your best Minions to go and kill them all in their sleep! Oh, but they have families as well and we can't leave any witnesses so..."

O~ookay, that I had to catalogue for later use but for now I had to nip Lyra´s enthusiasm in the bud before this could derail in so many ways. Unhinged mare was unhinged! "Wow, hold our horses there. For now, we are going on a little expedition to the Hayseed Swamps in order to retrieve a Overlord artifact that somehow ended up there."

At this, Lyra´s enthusiasm evaporated visibly and I could not help but to pat her head in a consoling manner "Hey now, don´t be sad my loyal servant. It is still early in my little campaign while the Celestial Sisters are clearly the final encounter. There will be still a lot of opportunities for Regicide and all sorts of backstabbery to national heroines by my best undercover agent."

That did it as Lyra´s ears became erect again and this lovely little psychotic smile grazed her muzzle again. Which like many times before really made me wonder just how broken a mare she had been before and how much of all this was the work of my spell?

"Anyways, because I feel like it and I still need to see what you can do in the field, I decided to take you with me as my loyal companion slash pack-mule on this little quest. So, seeing as you already have your ass in your gear, we will now be off to have us a whooping adventure filled to the brim with blood and loot. What do you say Lyra?" I declared with as much pomp as one could inject into such a statement.

"Buck yeah!" My horsey lackey cheered, rearing in her hind legs and shot a little bolt from her horn that exploded into an admittedly impressive firework display of red, blue and green blooms. Could all Unicorn ponies even do that? Huh. Lyra's excitement did not last long, for she seemingly caught herself and added more somberly "I mean, yes of course Master. I am as ready as I ever can be."

"Then let's stop wasting time. Gizzard! Where are you?" I barked aloud and said Brown scampered soon after, decked in a cuirass and halberd. He would serve as our guide to this so called object seing as he was the only one who really knew where to look. After double checking we had everything we needed, I opened a portal through which Gizzard quickly leapt through. Lyra... she needed a little more convincing, seeing how she was leery about heading in. Well, not so much convincing as I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and flung her forward, but it all worked out. I followed after, ready to get my evil mitts on that object and take a further step to becoming the best Overlady I could be.

[…]

Three minutes. That's all I needed to form an intelligent opinion of the Hayseed Swamps, namely, they sucked ass!

Now, I probably could have used a little more foresight before jumping in to uncharted territory. Turns out, navigating through a swamp decked in full, heavy, plate armor was not the best way to go about it. Who'd a thunk it, right?

And don't even get me started on the mosquitoes. Darkness, the mosquitoes...

They followed us around like an ever-buzzing, incessantly annoying cloud. Gizzard didn't mind, as he was a Minion and believe it or not, Minions don't even have blood. Weird, I know, but every time my kobolds sustained lethal injuries they just kinda dissolved into a fittingly colored cloud of nothingness. Hell, he actually seemed to like it as he tried constantly to chomp his way through the little buggers, eating them like so many jellybeans.

He was the only one enjoying himself, that's for sure. Minty Horse had tried to form a shield around her and this did work pretty well. However, it was also a rather draining sort of spell and so she had to quit it quickly enough. Pretty sure she got the worst of it too. Me, the bugs all got to me in my precious mug and whatever little bits of skin remained exposed like my upper arms. That and the fact I had sweet, sweet hands made my ordeal so much easier.

Lyra? She was miserable. With her clumsy hooves, she couldn't swat the little buggers as much as me and quickly enough, her little fuzzy mug became swollen with mosquito bites. It got so bad she had to cover her face entirely, not even able to see, and managed to follow only because I allowed her to hold on to my hand with her mouth as Gizzard led the way.

Ah, and the place really did live up to the 'swamp' schtick. We had to wade through fetid, murky water that reached well into my thighs and I had to carry Lyra on more than one stretch to keep her from drowning and of course, all that water added weight to my armor as my cloths soaked themselves full, making movements all the more laborious and if that wasn't enough, I'm pretty sure I felt a large, slimy something touch my leg more than once. So yeah. All in all, it was an even shittier day.

Luckily, fortune seemed to smile upon us and the waters and mosquitoes were now left behind. Solid ground at last and Lyra literally fell to her little pony knees and promptly started to kiss and praise the solid, if still slightly moldy smelling and mossy earth. I too took the opportunity to rest. Man, this was some mean terrain! Gizzard looked quizzically at us, not even tired. Smug little shit with limitless magical stamina...

He then led us further ahead where, wouldn't you know it, those very same fire pits from the show resided. Lyra was too miserable to treat them with little more than wariness and contempt but Gizzard, with his boundless Minion energy awed at the sight. The little kobold took to scouting ahead, leaving Lyra and I to try and catch up and once we did, Gizzard had already caught, uh, I dunno. Some kind of swamp rat? It looked like a mangy mess of wet fur and a long worm tail. Thing was creepy, easily as large as a small dog and Gizzard had speared it from end to end, holding it over the fire pits and whistling a cheerful tune as he waited for his meal to get cooked by the gouts of flame that whooshed out of their little geysers all around us.

I admit, by this point I'd already worked up an appetite, what with skipping lunch in my excitement and the thorough workout I'd just endured. Normally, I would not hesitate to demand of the kobold that he share the grub, but there was no way I'd be eating that thing, nuh-uh! After holding the disgusting mess over the opening for what felt like a whole minute without anything near the long and quite deadly tongues of flame happened, the little kobold did something that was just worthy of getting him a place in this 'Dumb ways to die' animation. He put his rat-kebob aside and, no shit, stuck his whole head in the geyser.

Three educated guesses what happened next to the little idiot who just dared to so blatantly challenge Mister Motherfucking Murphy? Yes, not sooner had Gizzard stuck his head into the natural death trap down to his shoulders as I felt a rumble from down below and only a second later, a massive flame erupted out of the geyser that looked like a actual dragon had let loose.

All I could do was sitting on the tree stump that served as temporal chair for me to recover my stamina, my face the mother of all deadpans as I watched the braindead Minions body go ramrod stiff in midair like in a old cartoon only to fall to the ground like a limp ragdoll shortly before the flame extinguished. His head, not surprising, was gone, with a clean hole burned between his shoulders.

"Fucking idiot..." I muttered, feeling the annoyance reaching new levels as I watched Gizzards remains dissolve into a skull shaped cloud of live energy. Lyra scratched at her mosquito bite riddled face, barely registering the kobold's demise.

"Can we go home, Master?" She asked sullenly.

"No." She slumped and I swear, she looked like she was about to cry.

These freaking ponies...

[...]

"Ah, Master... I don't want to sound like a neighsayer or that I doubt your abilities but, um, do you know what you're doing?" Minty Horse asked as I led the way deeper into the swamps.

"Yes. Shut up," was my clipped reply. I was in no mood for this shit, I really wasn't.

Lyra did as ordered. Well, for all of a few seconds at least.

"It's just that," she began uncertainly. "Gizzard's the one who knew where this object is, and with him gone... well, do you know how to get there?"

"We'll look."

Minty Horse did not appear satisfied, but she sighed sadly and shut up, hanging her head, looking as miserable as can be. Ugh, I felt my little black heart ache just the tiniest bit, but I was fully committed to this. I couldn't back out now.

And yes, I'll admit that trudging blindly through a swamp is definitely not gonna go down as one of my best ideas, but I can be stubborn like that. Of course, I wasn't about to admit this to my lackey. I had an image to uphold after all.

Ugh, and what was it with this fog? I could barely see three meters ahead of me. Stupid swamp with its stupid bugs and its stupid fire pits and its stupid fog and stupid Minions. They're all just stupid!

No, Umbra. Calm down. Deep breaths, deep breaths. It's not all bad. I mean, hey at least I hadn't run into a chimera.
...I probably shouldn't have thought that. Now I have to be on the lookout for Murphy again lest he sneaks up on me again.

"Damn, I can't see in this," I muttered. "Hey, Lyra. Gimme a light, would you?"

Instead of hearing my lackey's obedient response, I only got silence. Annoyed, I turned to address the sulky little Unicorn.

"Hey, Heartstrings, I said to..." Uhh, where was Lyra? She was right behind me not a moment ago.

"Lyra?" I called out in a louder voice.

Silence.

"Lyra this is not funny!"

Nothing. Goddamn it. Heaving an aggravated growl I used my Ley Vision to spot the nearest source for a Minion portal. To my amazement, the whole area around me was dotted with them. Well, that was useful for a change. I opened a portal from which thirty five gibbering kobolds shot out, garbed in armor and sporting lethal weaponry, ranging from curved swords to lethal halberds.

"Alright, puppies, listen up," I clapped my hands for emphasis. "I want you to divide in groups of five and go search for Lyra. That's my loyal lackey, remember. Not a sheepie or an enemy so I want you to go look for her and bring her unharmed and alive." The prospect of non-violence could be heard as the kobolds groaned in disappointment, but a quick glare on my part had them scurrying off to do my will.

Waiting... waiting...

Still misty.

I think something moved way over there...

Darkness, how much longer?!

No sooner was I about to set a nearby tree on fire to stave off the boredom that a voice could be heard cutting through the stillness of the swamp. So my Minions finally found Minty Horse. Good. I'd have a good and unpleasant talk with her once they dumped her in my lap.

But then... something was off. The voice grew closer, yelling, shouting and throwing insults and curses. Rougher and more mature than Lyra's own tones. Kinda scratchy, yet not fully a Rainbow Dash but pretty close. Who did my Minions find?

"Oh, no..." I muttered in dread as five happy kobolds came into view, dragging along a pit helmet wearing, dirty, swearing like a whole boat of Russian sailors and bound Daring Do!

I was halfway tempted to crack open the kobolds skulls then and there to see if I would find an 'I.O.U. one brain' paper slip in there as they dragged the swearing, light gold colored mare over to me. As the Indiana Jones of Horseyland beheld me in all of my glory, her litany of colorful words instantly died as she gazed upon my majesty in nothing but sheer awe.

Aw yeah, that was how it as supposed to be. Gaze upon your future Queen, no, Empress and...

"Who the bloody buck are you? Some kind of disfigured Minotaur or did Ahuizotl conjure up some kind of weird spirit from Tartarus to try and get rid of me?"

Aa~and like that, I just by a hairs wide managed to avoid a anime breakdown at the totally nonplussed way Daring just burned me.

After I regained my composure, I stared down at the monochrome maned Pegasus. "Well, you´re not far off with the Tartarus part, though I am none of those man-cows and this Ahuizotl could not even dream of conjuring someone of my caliber even if he were to sacrifice one thousand virgins on a new moon. No, I, my dearest raider of rare relics, am no one else but the Overlady, the Ruler of the Netherworld and Mistress of these braindead little Minions who managed to catch you somehow." The last part I said with so much acid in my voice that it could have dissolved Mithril.

"Yeah, never heard of you." Daring replied, idly struggling in her bonds. "So why don´t you just let me go before I am forced to whoop your flanks so hard that even your grandfoals will still feel it?"

Well, gotta give it to her, that mare got moxxy. But to quote the Joker on this occasion 'I feed moxxy to the Hyenas!' Or to the Minions in this case.

Hehe, oh yes, so easy right now. Just a simple command and no more Daring Do, just some life force for mói and a meal for my loyal Minions. We could start off with her wings, make her beg for the end.

Pegasi wings, so sensitive.

So fragile.

And stop right there!

There is a time and a place for bloody slaughter but not now in a gods forsaken swamp, with no plan where to go and my first Non-Minion (and very vital) servant missing.

C´mon, think girl, use that noggin of yours for something else than witty remarks, hilarious pop culture references and being irresistible charming.

From what I knew about Miss Do here, she was the Indiana Jones of the show, always a~huntin´ for some rare artifact to foil some cheesy villains obscure plans. So why was she here, in the Hayseed Swamps, the butt-crack of Equestria?

Hmm, artifacts... Could it be? Could Daring be, by some ridiculous cosmic fluke, after the very same artifact that I came here for? Knowing my luck, she probably was.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit! This could throw all kinds of massive monkey wrenches into my plans but then again... if Daring was really after my artifact, she probably knew where it was located being the professional she without a doubt was. No doubt she believed it to be some kind of pony relic and would pawn it off in a random museum for the ignorant, unwashed masses to gawk at. The mere thought of my rightful artifact relegated to some corny tourist's attraction made my blood boil, but I quashed down the feeling as soon as it began.

Come on, Umbra, think. What to do, what to do...

The answer came quickly enough, much to my surprise, that being, use Daring herself to find my artifact. Mare was resourceful if nothing else. Yes, she most definitely had to have an inkling where it lay.

That, I could dastardly use for my own benefit.

I had to stop myself from wringing my hands and cackle sinisterly. It was perfect. Oh, so perfect. Should I play my cards right, I could wheedle whatever information Pony Jones knew from her little head and then... I dunno, send her packing or something. Yeah, I liked the sound of that, fittingly diabolical for someone like me.

"Hey, are you going to stare holes into the air any longer or are you going to do something? I´m a busy mare, you know? I have places to be, artifacts to find, evil plans to foil. You know, the usual," the rough voice of Daring Do interrupted my musings. I looked down and there she was, still struggling in her ropes but I could see that they were starting to become loose as her movements became more noticeable. If I were to leave her like this, she would free herself pretty soon if I had to guess.

That of course, I could not have, seeing as it would ruin my chances to gain brownie points in order to manipulate Daring.
"Oh, please do excuse me Miss Do. It seems that we got each other at the wrong foot, or hoof in your case. Here, let me help you." I said amicably, snapping my fingers and sending the mental command to free the mare but nothing else, which my Browns did with quite confused expressions. Daring tensed as the Browns converged around her, probably not helped by the fact they still wielded their lethal weaponry, but relaxed considerably when they cut her bonds and stepped back.

"There, is that not better?" I asked, extending my hand "How about we introduce us now like civilized beings? My name is Umbra, it is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Daring Do."

The Pegasus eyes immediately shrunk to, might I say, dangerous slits as she registered that I called her by her name several times already.

"Why do you know my name and from who?" She asked with a slight growl, her wings ruffling against her side.

Giving her my widest smirk, I answered "Oh, I know things. Many things, Miss Yearling." With distorting my voice via magic at the last parts to sound just the part of the demonic Dorito himself.

If she was wary of me before, now Daring was positively ready to bust heads open. Her wings flared open and her body lowered, muscles tensing in preparation of battle.

How adorable!

"Now, now, let´s not be hasty," I said placably, showing the combat-ready little mare my open palms while I cracked the mental whip on my ever so loyal, battle hungry Minions as they were about to sink their steel into Daring's tender flesh. The kobolds kept their distance, but just to be sure, they clanked their weapons, allowing Daring to see she was indubitably, laughably, outnumbered.

Her eyes flashed to the Minions for but a split second before returning to me and while her stance did ease off a bit on the aggression factor, her muscles remained tense and ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. "Who. Are. You?" The adventurous mare demanded from me and I decided to indulge her. For now.

"Why, I am nothing but a plain, run of the mill demon queen, who is lost in this awful swamp while looking for her lost, loved servant." I put a hand on my helmet's forehead like a drama queen, letting a suffering sigh be heard "Oh, woe is me. Isn´t there anyone kind enough to show me the way, to help me out of my misery? A valiant knight or... a brave adventurer maybe?" I could barely hide my amusement as I saw all kinds of confusion play over Daring´s fuzzy mug. Hell, I didn't even mind that the glint of fear and apprehension in her eyes was replaced by befuddlement, no doubt questioning my sanity.

"Don't play around. How do you know who I am? How did you find out my public identity?"

"Honestly? I didn't," I lied easily, a smug smile on my lips as I linked both hands on the back of my head. "I did have my suspicions, though and you, Miss Do, just confirmed them for me." The way her face fell nearly caused me to burst out laughing, and my Minions must have felt it, for they started tittering and chuckling in a rather sinister/creepy manner.

Face hoofing, all Daring could do was groan and I swear I heard her mutter 'Bucking horseapples!' under her breath, only adding fuel to my amusement.

Looking at me with a interesting look on her face that fluidly switched between the urge to murder me on the spot and the wish to life out the rest of her days as a roach eating hermit in a dark, dank cave on top of a lonely mountain.

"Okay, rookie mistakes aside that I never will be able to life down, how did you know?"

"The Overlady has spies everywhere, Miss Do," I said smoothly.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Overlady? Never heard of you."

"Then obviously I've been doing something right. So, why don't we just keep this whole thing between ourselves, hm?"

Daring groaned again, burying her face in a hoof. Whatever semblance of wariness and danger she harbored quickly receding, giving way to annoyance. "What do you want with me then, Umbra. Why did you have these... whatever they are," she said, gesturing to my kobolds. "Foalnap me?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," I said, slightly sincerely. "I didn't actually want to kidnap you, Daring. Can I call you Daring?" She nodded tersely. " I sent my Minions to find my... friend."

"Friend?"

"A pony, just like you, if you'll believe it?"

"How is a pony friends with something like you?" She asked rudely.

"Because Friendship is fucking Magic, that´s how!" I replied, likewise rudely.

She sighed, muttering something inaudibly. "You know what, whatever. If you don't have business with me then I'll just be on my way." She promptly turned, not even bothering with a proper goodbye. How rude...

"Actually..."

"What?"

"I was hoping you could help me out with a little something."

"Look, Umbra, you seem like a nice demon and all, but I'm a busy mare. If you need a hoof get your Goblins or whatever they are to do it."

"Minions, horsey, Minions. And only you, my most esteemed adventurer, slash, novelist can help me."

She narrowed her eyes, obviously still not crazy about me knowing her secret. "What is it?"

I took off my helmet, allowing Daring to see my face. Amusing as it was to screw with her, I really did need a helping hoof from her. She studied my mug with interest and even from our distance, I could see the explorer, adventurous side of her itching to come closer for a better look. Clearly, she'd never laid her pony eyes on as magnificent or unique a specimen as me.

"Daring, if I could be frank with you, I really do need your help. I came here with my friend Lyra. She's a unicorn pony from Ponyville and while walking through all this fog, we got separated not too long ago. Lyra... well, she's a friend. A really good one. And yeah, she's kinda annoying, a klutz and she screws up a lot, but she's my one and only pony friend. We got separated and I sent off my Minions to find her, but they came back with you, and Lyra is still nowhere to be found."

Daring listened with rapt attention. Her expression was hard to read. Nevertheless, she listened on and didn't interrupt.
"To put it bluntly, I'm worried about her. She's a simple pony and, damn it, I shouldn't have dragged her into all this in the first place, but I did and now she's off all lost and who knows where, all because of me. She could be getting farther away as we speak and I don't know what will happen if I don't find her soon. So, if you could, could you help me find my friend? I don't want anything to happen to her."

Daring said nothing but her ears began to swivel in the ear holes of her pit helmet and her wings began to open and close slightly as she began to do a little pacing in front of me.

"Of course it would not be to your disadvantage should you decide to aid me on this," I began anew, intending to drive this home "I know very well that you publish more or less abridged versions of your various adventure under the guise of entertainment novels. What would you say if I were to permit you the use of our encounter and all it might entail in your next book? Without going into much detail about my person, of course. I imagine a figure based on me would make quite a nice elder goddess or some other kind of ancient menace that got unleased by accident or even deliberately, maybe by the likes of Caballeron or even Ahuizotl. What do you say? Do we have a deal?" I asked, sooo wishing I could make my hands become engulfed in blue flames but that was far beyond my actual skills. Oh well...

Daring hummed, rubbing her chin with a hoof. "Where did you... wait, let me guess, your spies again?" At my nod, she continued "You actually have a point, I could think of several scenarios to make this encounter into a book."

"So, that´s a yes?"

Letting out a sigh, Daring looked at me, her eyes showing a surprising amount of steel in them "Okay Umbra, deal. But mostly since you genuinely seem to care about this Lyra mare and these swamps can be a really dangerous place for the unwitting."

Flashing Daring a honest smile I adopted a thoughtful expression myself. "Sooo~ Any ideas where to start?"

"I might have an rough idea..." Daring started but was cut short as the rest of my Minions finally returned to me, surprising the Pegasus visibly.

The lot of them where covered in the same gunk that had so thoroughly coated Gizzard but about six or seven of them where also covered in a familiar, dark red liquid.

Blood. My Minions where caked with blood!

My stomach clenched at the implications, seeing as how they were even holding souls in their clawed hands which they presented to me. Luckily, none of them was a blue one so that eliminated the chance that they, despite my strict orders, for some reason murderized Lyra in a bout of sheer dumbness. Instead, seven green orbs where presented to me, quickly vanishing in my gauntlets jewel.

"Just how many of these things do you have?" Daring asked, watching in fascination as the collected souls disappeared into my gauntlet. Not that she knew they were souls, thank Darkness. That would make things awkward...

"A whole tower full and then some. I guess somewhere around two hundred all in all, plus the dead ones who are still waiting to be brought back to life." I idly replied, inspecting my returned Minions. I noticed that some of them had traded their helmets against some kind of... well, it was hard to say what that was supposed to be. It kind of looked like burlap hoods that someone tried to reinforce by adding tree bark, small branches, bones from what I supposed belonged to these large dog-rats and even the occasional bird skull. I had to suppress the urge to groan. Who in their right minds would trade their solid iron helmets against this junk? Oh right, Minions!

"Why are your munchkins wearing traditional Hobgoblin-wear?"

"Huh?"

"Only Hobgoblins wear that kind of stuff," Daring pointed out.

"Hobgoblins?"

Daring shrugged. "Yeah, nasty little things. About this tall," Daring held up her hoof roughly at her eye level "looking like naked, wrinkly moles walking on their hind legs with long rat tails, buck teeth able to gnaw through nearly everything short of heavily enchanted steel given enough time. They wear robes and hoods cobbled together from old burlap bags, utilize flint weapons and tools and have some primitive form of shamanistic magic. Also, they are notorious tunnelers which leads to conflict quite often when they inhabit the same area as Diamond Dogs since these critters are not the brightest and keep digging into the Dogs burrows, ultimately collapsing them out of sheer dumbness."

"Interesting..." I muttered, tapping my chin in thought. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Daring smirked. "Obviously."

"Then we need to find these Gobbies. I assume they're the only creatures around here who could foalnap a pony for whatever reasons?"

"Pretty much. Everything else either wants to kill you or eat you."

So it was decided. Daring took the lead, trotting ahead of me and my Minions. The mare navigated the swamps with a practiced ease I couldn't help but be envious of. Surprisingly enough, she remained grounded, choosing not to fly.
Whether this was to conserve energy or to allow me to keep up was unclear.

Of course, while our Minions followed, I wasn't about to give Miss Do a good understanding of my forces. I took the gathered Minions while sending out a mental command to the others who had yet to return to remain out of sight as they followed, effectively keeping the bulk of my kobolds from the pony's eyes.

After ten minutes or so, I felt... something. There was a kind of magic to the air. Crude, wild, definitely and nowhere near as tamed as the one you found in a typical pony settlement. Yep, I could sense it. We were getting closer.

As we walked on, signs emerged something rudimentary intelligent was definitely living there. Gnarled trees had their bark scraped away, where the smooth wood would be carved with unintelligible signs and symbols. We spotted crude poles erected on the moist soil, decorated with the skulls of lesser creatures and from the trees hung desiccated corpses, long since dried out, of humanoid and ugly shapes, no doubt the Hobgoblins themselves which made me wonder for a short moment what they had done to deserve an end like this. And the smell. Darkness, the smell! The area stank like a dead cow's asshole! Something told me the Gobs were not too keen on the whole hygiene concept. Would make them great friends for the Greens, probably.

"Alright, we should be near the place now." Daring spoke up "Somewhere around here should be the village if my information's are not totally wrong."

True enough, we soon came across the first signs of something with actual sapiens lived here. On some kind of rickety platforms that elevated them above the swampy ground, equally rickety huts made of old, moldy looking plant material had been erected, only interrupted by the occasional tent made of mangy looking hides and others still carved into the massive roots of gigantic trees, not unlike Yoda's little hovel on Dagobah. Walkways that looked like they could not even withstand a light breeze spanned between the crude dwellings and solid patches of earth.

"Wow, this place looks like it smells and it smells like ass."

Daring gave me a blank stare, before turning around again, inspecting our surroundings warily. "Well, what do you expect? This place is located in a swamp, which has flaming geysers who spout sulfuric smoke in the air. Of course it smells of decay instead of a bouquet of roses! Doesn´t help that Hobgoblins are a pretty primitive race. I mean, who else would settle in a damn swamp?"

"Solid point but this leads me to the next question. If this is the village of these Hobgoblins, shouldn´t there be, dunno, Hobgoblins out and about? This place is almost deader than the political carrier of Bill Clinton."

"What do you expect? Hobgoblins are just barely above sapient. They're like animals in many aspects still."

"Well, we can't just sit here and twiddle out thumbs." I then turned to address my kobolds, who seemed to actually like the place. "Alright puppies, I command you to go and search for any Goblins that may still be about." The kobolds voiced their consent and scattered in different directions. "And don't kill them. I need them alive!" I added almost as an afterthought. Pretty sure they heard me though.

"Seems to me like your munchkins are a little kill-crazy," Daring remarked.

"Relax, Daring, they'll do as I say, so you have nothing to worry about."

The mare grumbled, eyeing me in distrust. "What exactly are you up to?"

"What do you mean?"

"A self-proclaimed demoness running around with a bunch of murderous little minions? I can spot unpleasant characters a mile away and something tells me you're up to no good."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "And if I am?" I met Daring's glare with my own, neither of us backing down. Heck we barely even registered the kobolds making a bit of a racket as they proceeded to literally turn the place over in their mad search for a Gob.

To my surprise, Daring backed off, closing her eyes and sighing. "You know what, do what you want. I've seen enough of your types to know how it's all gonna play out. Cliché'd really. You're gonna try to steal something, take over Equestria or the world or something along those lines and sooner or later, somepony will come to kick your flank all over the place. If it's not me, it'll be somepony else and you'll spend the rest of your miserable life in prison or plotting revenge or escape or whatever. Like I said, you villainous types are all the same."

The uppity little pony turned, completely turning her back on me and me? Well, I fumed silently, fixating my glare on Daring neck while I imagined closing my hands around it and giving her a good, old Homer. Wishful thinking for now, maybe once we found Lyra and Horsiana Jones had outlived her usefulness, I could give her a little comeuppance.

Luckily, before my silent seething made me see red, my lovely little munch... er, Minions returned. Two browns, holding down a squirming Gob. Ugh, they really were as ugly as Daring had described them, if not more. Almost looked like a molerat from Fallout, just uglier. This particular, miserable specimen wore little more than a loincloth/underwear, not unlike Gollum, making looking at him an unpleasant task in itself. Welts and liver spots dotted its pale, grey-pinkish skin. It's teeth—those that still remained, at least—looked more like baked beans than anything and its nose looked like it had partially been bitten off or even worse, just fell off by itself. Big, white marbles for eyes seemed to plop out of its skull from apparent terror and its hand and feet resembled a bizarre mix of paws and humanoid appendances, appearing to be not really useful for anything at all.

It was truly the picture book definition of a miserable sight!

Rubbing the bridge of my nose with my armored fingers, I stared down at the shaking pile of fugly before me. "Alright you ugly piece of swamp mold, let me make this short and easy. I came here with a pony, a green Unicorn. I know that your ilk took her for whatever reasons and I want her back! So, tell me, where is the green Unicorn?" I asked, forming my left into a claw and letting lightning come to life in it.

The Hobgoblin looked like it was about to soil itse... yeah, scratch that, it did soil itself! Uäch, that stunk even worse than the whole swamp in itself!

Swallowing the rising bile and taking a step back, I glared down at the Gob again, letting the Corruption spell flare to full life in my palm "I don´t take kindly to having something stolen from me, so answer me!" I barked at the pathetic excuse of a life form. From the corners of my eyes I could see Daring watching with an hard expression on her face, not that I cared that much.

Thankfully, the Hobgoblin finally seemed to have come to the insight that cooperating with me might be beneficial for its overall health, seeing as it began to... speak and I use that term loosely here.

It really where more making chitters, squeaks and grunts not unlike Rufus the sand puppy, with one or two real words sprinkled in the mix.

Of course this could not be easy for a change!

Thankfully Daring made herself useful once again as she trotted over to me and my ugly little prisoner. "He said that the whole village is at the sacred sacrificial grounds." Oh, boy I'm not liking this.

"Sacrificial grounds."

"Yes."

"Sacrificial grounds?!"

"Again, yes."

Oh, for the love of... Lyra could be dead already!

The Gob chattered gibberish while Daring tried her best to follow.

"He says your pony friend will become a... um, suitable offering to their... god? I think I got that right," she muttered while I was in the process of freaking out. "But don't worry. He says their god doesn't show up until nightfall, so..." She trailed off and looked upwards. Nothing but the canopy of the swamp. "I'll go and take a look." She spread her wings and took off, disappearing above the trees. "I got good news and bad news," she said after coming down. "Good news is it's still daylight out, so you friend's still alive, if what the Goblin said is true."

"And the bad?" I asked in trepidation.

"Nightfall's in about... eh, I'd give it fifteen to thirty minutes, so if we're gonna find your friend, we need to haul flank now."
Giving a mental link to my loyal Minions, they wrestled the soiled Gob to the ground and backed away. It tried to get back up, but a swift kick with an armored boot to the face sent it back down. From my peripheral vision, I could see Daring wince.

Grabbing one of the Minion's halberds, I placed the blade against the Gob's throat, puncturing the skin so that a thin trail of blood ran down. "Listen you, and listen well," I growled. "Do you want to die?" It shook its head frantically. Well, as much as it could with a blade taut against its neck. "Well unless you want a big, gaping hole where your throat used to be, you're gonna lead me and my friends to the unicorn. Is that clear?" I emphasized by making a shallow cut, drawing more blood.
By this point the Gob was well and truly sobbing, snot ran down its ruined nose. Pathetic...

It nodded and began speaking in that foul language.

Daring spoke beside me, her voice unusually subdued. "He says he will. Just don't kill him." Whether that's what it said or the request came from her, I did not know. I allowed the Gob to get back up and sent a command for my Minions to encircle him, just in case he got any stupid ideas like escaping or some shit.

"Lead the way," I gestured, the Beast in my hand.

[…]

"I don't like the look of this," Daring muttered from behind the tree. "There's gotta be at least over a hundred Hobgoblins in there."

"They shouldn't be a problem," I said with confidence. I had thirty five heavily armed kobolds on standby and ley lines aplenty near the sacrificial spot where Lyra stood, not to mention me. I could easily break a Gob with a well-placed swipe of the Beast and if for some reason that wasn't a killing blow, the poison would do its work. Also magic. Magic would do the trick should everything else fail.

The kidnapped Gob started jabbering in that crude language again.

"What now?"

"He doesn't want his friends to die," Daring informed me.

"That's entirely up to them." I replied flatly. Sure, living servants would do me good in a long run but these little root gnawers kidnapped Lyra, which meant they stole my property and that, I could not let slide. So if the insolent beasties would be stupid enough to even attempt to fight, I would have my Minions mince them. That would serve as good example and it would gain me lottsa souls.

The Gob chattered more. Daring listened closely.

"Will you shut up? I'm trying to think!" I snapped irritably.

Daring held up a hoof. "Wait, wait, I think you're gonna want to hear this." Ears stood erect atop her head as she tried to make sense of the Gob's jabbering. "Our friend says that if you step in and challenge their god in single combat, the rest of the Hobgoblins will not interfere with your fight, and... they will see you as... uh, their new goddess should you win?" She rubbed her head, probably thinking she got it wrong or something.

"Do I look like a crazy, muscle bound dwarf with only one eye left, who wears his hair in a giant orange Mohawk, is covered in blue tattoos and wields a war axe that once belonged to the dwarfish god of war himself?" I asked, slightly irritated "What is this god we are talking about anyways?"

While Daring was questioning the Gob again, I peeked around our cover and over the whole area in front of us. It was a relatively big area, maybe like a big parking lot, consisting of surprisingly dry ground. Several huge trees surrounded it and the last, moss covered remnants of some ancient looking stone buildings valiantly fought a losing battle against decay, giving the setting truly a standard fantasy setting of a stereotypical cult scene. Throughout the whole place, Hobgoblins scurried around, wearing mostly simple looking burlap robes or some kind of shorts from the same material and wielding brittle looking spears with stone tips. Some of the Gobs had decorated themselves with materials from the swamplands, like little animal skulls they wore on their heads, tree bark tied to their scrawny bodies like an attempt on armor or yet some others somehow managed to get their dirty mitts on a few bright feathers that they incorporated in tribal looking necklaces.

One Gob in particular stood out due to the fact that he wore one of these swamp dog-rat things in a typical shaman fashion and was waving around a stick that was decorated with feathers, small bones and had what looked like a unrefined gem as a headpiece. That and the way this Gob bossed its fellow critters around made it pretty clear that he had to be the head honcho. With a dirty smirk, I marked him or her, whatever, for an unavoidable death.

The most important thing though, was what stood behind all these fugly little beasts. On an elevated spot that looked like the remaining fundament of a building, stood a large stone pillar that immediately struck me as familiar. It was a Minion Pillar like those who one always could see standing behind the Overlords throne in the games, composed of four elements depicting a Brown, Red, Green and a Blue in that order with fittingly colored gems as the Minions eyes, ejectively forming a totem pole. And to this totem pole was tied a very familiar, equine figure. There she was, Lyra Heartstrings, her new cultist gear torn at places, sullied with mud and in her muzzle stuck a cloth gag to silence her swearing and cursing to a limited degree. We still were able to make out her inscrutable griping.

But first things first. I couldn't simply jump in like a charging rhinoceros. Well, I could, but if history is any indication, jumping in blindly is about the worst thing I could do. Not to mention the fact that bastard Murphy was probably wringing his hands together at this point, just itching for an opportunity to screw me over.

I opened a nearby Minion portal, causing Daring and the Gob to freak out and switched out ten of my Browns for Reds. The little devils jumped out, pumped and ready to slaughter, and slaughter they would. Reds were rather fragile as far as their constitution went. They couldn't take a lot of damage before expiring, but damn if they couldn't dish it out. Five Reds working together being supported by Browns and Greens to ensure they did not expire could torch almost everything with their surprisingly powerful little Firebolts.

Given the terrain we now found ourselves in, I knew a way to get around this. I sent a mental command to the little devils, Ignoring Daring's blistering glare. They scampered off where my Browns were waiting. Dividing into teams of two and three, the Reds, with assistance from the Browns, climbed up the trees, well away from the incoming battle site. They stalked forward among the branches like so many rabid monkeys, positioning themselves perfectly to take pot shots at my command.

With all the preparations done, all we had to do was waiting for this so called 'god' to show up. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on the point of view), we did not had to wait long as only minutes after my kobold troops had positioned themselves, the murky water not far away from the spot Lyra was standing began to come alive with motion. It began to bubble and a sizable wave made by something really, really big swimming just below the surface began to make a beeline to the sacrificial grounds.

Tightening my grip on my trusty mace, I could not help but to gulp. Holy shit, that wave alone was easily as big as Vivi´s Smart, so how big had the beast to be that made it?

With a smile that would have send Jigsaw running, the Multiverse kindly answered my question as, with a huge spray of stinking water, a huge reptilian monster broke through the surface, letting out a bone rattling roar that send the unwashed masses of Hobgoblins covering as they threw themselves in the dirt and I was inclined to follow that example as I beheld the god of the Hayseed Swamps for the very first time. Lyra for her part froze in apparent (and comprehensible) terror in her front row seat.

The best way to describe the monster that stared down at the assembled Gobs was as some kind of serpent. Its body was easily as thick as my own torso, covered in viridian-colored scales and long enough to be easily towering five meters over the water’s surface, with gods knew how much of its body still hidden in the murky depths. Two large finlike ear things in screaming red and yellow colors framed a massive head with a maw big enough that it probably could swallow a creature the size of a pony whole. Speaking of it its maw, even from my observation post I could see the rows of long, dagger like teeth that seemed to be made to tear tender flesh apart like no one’s business. Two pomelo sized, yellow eyes with slitted pupils swept over the covering Hobgoblins, almost as if daring anyone to meet its burning glare.

Fucking fuck and I was supposed to beat this monster?!?

"An amarezonian Water Serpent, I can´t believe it!" Daring gasped beside me, peering wide eyed around our cover beside me. "What is one of those doing here?"

"You know what this thing is?" I hissed, afraid that the serpent might hear me.

"Yes, encountered enough of them for the next four lifetimes during my time in the amarezonian rainforest. These beasts are basically the tropical cousins of Tatzelwurms, only way more intelligent to the point of rivaling Dragons!" Daring explained in an equally low voice.

Waitwaitwait, that thing was related to one of those three jawed, three tongued lovechild's of a Sandworm and a Graboid? And where as intelligent as a Dragon?

"Oh fuck my life!" I moaned miserably, glancing down at Daring and to my immense surprise, found the rough and tumble mare actually shiver and back away slowly.

"What´s the matter? Afraid of snakes Dr. Do?" I asked in an attempt to hide my own fear.

Daring reciprocated with a scathing glare "I hate serpents!" The Pegasus pressed through gritted teeth, alternating her glare at me and the object of her apparent phobia.

Before I could make a witty retort, a new voice filled the humid air, a voice like oil mixed with razor blades, smooth, low and cutting straight into the very soul of anyone listening.

It was the serpent.

Sweeping its head low enough to inspect Lyra, who at this point seemed half mad with fear, judging from the way she desperately tried to free herself from the robes holding her and screaming her head of into her gag. I was half wondering why she did not used her magic to free herself as I discovered that her horn was completely covered in some sort of purple-ish gunk that seemed to block her magic somehow.

"Hmm~ Is this your tribute? Is this mare the best you miserable worms could find to offer it to the mighty lord Xiuhcoatl?" The serpent hissed, the sheer sound of its voice making my skin crawl. Eugh, sounded almost like Parsel.

The head Gob humiliated itself in front of this Xiuhcoatl, soiling itself just like its brethren beside me. It fell to its knees, groveling in that foul language while the serpent merely looked annoyed.

"Cease you endless babble!" It boomed out and the Gob sank even lower. Really, no dignity or self respect. "Your offerings have grown more pathetic as of late. I will accept this pony, but be warned. My mercy only extends so far. If you do not bring a suitable offering before your god next time, it is you who will be traveling down my throat." The Gob—surprise, surprise—soiled itself yet again. In all honesty, I didn't think the serpent would actually carry through with its plan. I mean, who in their right mind would want to put those things in their mouth? Yech!

As the Goblins all groveled and whimpered pathetically, the serpent closed the distance between itself and Lyra, whose body was wracked by violent tremors, eyes big and watery, pitiful whimpers escaping the gag and in all honesty, I wouldn't blame her if she soiled herself too. Luckily, my most faithful lackey/thrall was made of sterner stuff than the swamp Gobs and managed to hold it together. I felt a slight wave of pride for her.

"If you're gonna help your friend, now's the time," Daring said, and she was right. Just to be safe, I sucker punched the Gob, who fell down like a sack of potatoes, well and knocked out. I tightened the grip on my Beast, allowing its weight and power to fill me with confidence. I could do this. I had to do this. A´right, Le~eroy Jenkins!

"Stop right there reptilian scum!"

In an instant, one hundred pairs of milky eyes, one pair of teary, amber eyes and one pair of hatefully burning yellow eyes focused on me.

"What did you just called me?" The bigass serpent hissed, its eyes on the verge of incinerating me with the sheer force of its hatred.

"Reptilian scum. What? Got your ear-holes clocked with swamp mud?" I replied, glaring back at Xiuhcoatl while I made my way towards him and Lyra.

That in turn seemed only to fan the inferno of the beasts wrath, judging from the fact that it roared at me and heaved some extra meters of its body out of the water, now almost brushing against the treetops. "You insignificant insect dare to speak to me like this? I am a descendant of the great Quetzalcoatl himself! I. Am. A. God!" Xiuhcoatl bellowed, sending the Gobs around me scrambling away in fear and I admit, for just a moment, I questioned the wisdom of my actions. Just for a moment though. "For your insolence, I will crush your bones to powder in my coils before I slowly drown you and then I will feast on your flesh and soul!" The pissed serpent proclaimed and readied itself to lunge for me.

"I challenge you!" I rushed out as fast as possible and not a second to early, as Xiuhcoatls head came to a stop not even centimeters before me.

"What?" The god of the swamps asked me, blinking owlishly which frankly, looked hilarious given the situation.

"Ya heard me. I, Umbra the Overlady, challenge you, Xiuhcoatl, God of the Hayseed Swamp, to a fight." I pointed at Lyra before continuing "This mare over there is my servant and my property, your Gobs stole her from me. Likewise did they steal the pillar she is tied to, for this is my property too. So I challenge you to a fight, you against me to settle this dispute once and for all." I declared with my strongest voice while staring straight into the serpents eyes.

"You?!" The serpent jeered in incredulity. "Do you believe a walking, talking abomination of a Diamond Dog and an ape such as yourself can stand against me? Me, the great and mighty Xiuhcoatl?!"

"I know so," I growled.

The impudent, oversized worm laughed. "Fine, I accept your challenge, mutant. Your robust body will provide me with sustenance for days to come."

Wow, did he just called me fat? Okay wormy, you will pay for that!

That thought nearly proved my undoing as it distracted me from the head on tackle Xiuhcoatl aimed straight at me. Luckily, I somehow managed to throw myself to the left and dodge an attack that bulldozed into a part of the ruins and turned them into rubble.

I scrambled back to my feet and not a second later, Xiuhcoatl bend his body around and came back for more, his maw wide open, dozens of deadly fangs aimed straight at me.

This time, I only managed to dodge by a literal hairs wide as the hem of my cape got shredded even more as it got caught in the wake of my serpentine opponents attack. Thankfully, Xiuhcoatl simply tore through the red fabric instead of dragging me along.

This time though, he needed a few precious moments to decelerate with all the momentum from his attacks, which opened him for my own retaliation.

"Eat that!" I yelled as I launched a massive Corruption spell that collided with Xiuhcoatl´s scaled hide with a deafening crack. "Bwahaha, shocking innit you oversized earthworm?" I cackled over the cracking of my spell and the trashing of Xiuhcoatl´s body as the electricity ran through his system. Oh yeah, I had this one in the bag, I would bring this one home without a hitch, I...

"You insolent, annoying flea!" Xiuhcaotl roared and with one final, fluid movement broke free from my spell as he heaved all of his massive body out of the water and displayed his ridiculous size by easily stretching himself alongside the stone arc over the sacrificial platform, looming above me like the Basilisk from Harry Potter, only without the deadly glare.

I was royally fucked!

With another roar, Xiuhcoatl swept his tail forward like a titans whip, missing me but digging a sizeable trench into the earth to my right with the sheer force of the blow. Should one of those hit me, I would shatter like a clay doll!
Cold dread and fear began to form in my stomach but I fought that down with sheer willpower. I would not fall to this narcissist worm, I could not!

Answering with a roar of myself, I flung a whole series of Fireballs at my enemy, the magical projectiles impacting with Xiuhcoatl, scorching his immaculate scales but aside of that, not doing any obvious damage.

The serpent coiled around its perch, sending head sized chunks of stone raining down and only missing Lyra by a scant few centimeters.

Shit, I totally forgot about Lyra! I had to get her out of there or she would probably end up crushed or burned or some other kind of dead.

"You should focus on your opponent during a fight little monkey!" Xiuhcoatl hissed, his voice scarily close to me. I yelped and jumped back, only to see that the huge beast somehow had managed to bring his head so close to me again that I could feel his hot breath. How the fuck could something that big be so silent?

With a wordless war cry, I swung the Beast with both hands, forcing Xiuhcoatl to slightly retreat his head to avoid a face full of mace as my weapon cut through the air, missing his snout by a hands wide.

Milday, what are you doing?<< Gnarls voice suddenly echoed in my ears, almost throwing me of the loop entirely.

Dodging another tail swipe, I angrily thought back >>What I am doing Gnarl, is trying not to get killed again while I try to reclaim a fucking Minion artifact. What does this looks like? Revelry with touching?<<

No, that is not what I meant. What I meant is why you are fighting this oversized worm on your own, you have your Minions. Use them to harass and slow down this serpent so that your Ladyship can deliver a fatal blow.<<

Our little mental conversation unfortunately distracted me long enough for Xiuhcoatl to finally catch me with one of his attacks.

A massive tail collided with my chest with the force of a speeding car, sending me tumbling backwards like a ragdoll.
Screaming bloody murder I rolled around, desperately trying to come back to my feet. God in heaven, that hurt so bad, I must have busted some ribs!

"Uhahaha, don´t even bother to get up again wench, just roll over and die!" Xiuhcoatl laughed from his perch.

Well, up yours! Fighting through the pain, I got back to my feet, not wanting to give the worm satisfaction. Blood pooled in my mouth and I spat it out. The serpent loomed over me, smug as can be and me, I wanted to slap myself for forgetting about my little munchkins.

Gnarl seemed to have a similar thought as he yelled mentally at me again >>Milady, evil does not fight fair for Darkness sake! Finally make use of your Minions!<<

With a mental command, I signaled the Reds, who made their presence known as they rained down fiery death on the unawares serpent. Xiuhcoatl let out a surprised bellow tinged with rage, furious at being caught by surprise. Of course, its thick hide prevented it from being too much damaged, but this was no firebreathing dragon, no siree. True, while my little devils' fire attacks did not cause that much damage to the serpent's scales, they were not invulnerable, and my little kobolds' fires were no natural flames but grade A magical hellfire. I needed to buy them time while their fires whittled away Xiuhcoatl's tough hide and scales.

With yet another command, my Browns entered the fray. Subtlety was not their game. They came in fast and loud, chanting war cries, brandishing their weapons and yelling "For the Overlord!"

Well, at least I supposed that was what they yelled since it was in their gibberish again.

Xiuhcoatl was so distracted by my Reds, he did not see the Browns until it was too late. Those that charged from the front slashed and hacked away at the serpent's scales and to my surprise, actually managed to shear them off without too much difficulty. I made a mental note to reward Welder for making such superior weaponry.

The Browns who had circled 'round the beast's blind side scrambled up its back with the deftness and agility of a monkey. They bore their weapons into Xiuhcoatl's unprotected neck and back. A couple of my more daring munchkins actually managed to clamber all the way to the serpent's head, where their weapons succeeded in gouging out an eye.

Impressive as this was, it unfortunately send the monstrous snake into a rage fueled rampage. Roaring so loud, I feared that my ears would start to bleed and the sheer shockwaves made my busted rips sting even more, Xiuhcoatl began to trash around like a stabbed pig, sending most of my Minions flying and those who managed to keep their grip got mercilessly crushed under the serpents massive coils.

It then turned its sights on my Reds, but a swift command on my part sent the little devils higher up the branches, well and out of reach. Their ceaseless artillery strikes were too valuable to simply have them kick the bucket. Xiuhcoatl roared in fury at having been denied its revenge and at yet another barrage of magical Hellfire burn through its defenses.

Starring at the mess of coils, rage and rubble before me, I felt a whole iceberg drop in my stomach as I spied the Minion Pillar jutting out of the mess. Lyra! Of sweet merciful god, Lyra had been there... and... and now... My breath hitched as I realized that I totally screwed this up and now this brave, stupid, klutzy, adorably obsessed little mare was dead and it was all my fault!

"You are going to pay, you are going to pay for that you fucking asshole!" I roared as the guilt turned into hatred in my stomach, numbing the pain of my wounds and providing me with a wellspring of new energy.

Milady, as with any living creatures, the weak point of this overgrown worm sits between the ears. Aim for the head Milady!<< Gnarl supplied his tactical insight over our mindlink.

With a running start, I sprinted towards the angry serpent who was still busy trying to get my Reds into his jaws and ignoring me. I spied an opening, where my faithful Browns had sheared off the scales, leaving only reddened, slightly bleeding trails. Allowing my hatred and fury to empower me, I swung the Beast with a power that felt not my own.

The serpent's hide tore as if it were little more than tissue paper, spilling blood by the buckets while the Beast's poisoned barbs bit deep and tainted Xiuhcoatl's blood. It was defeated now. It was but a matter of time.

The serpent bellowed, more in pain than rage while fire kept on raining down above. I could practically kiss my little devils and their weird, unnatural accuracy. Another swing from the Beast and more hide and scales sheared off the serpent, creating a gaping hole as big as both my armored fists.

Those Browns that remained alive (a whole three of them) rushed in fearing neither death nor torment, capitalizing on my opening as they practically sunk their weapons on the hole I just created. A well placed strike from one of my Reds took out the other eye.

The ceaseless punishment proved to be too much for Xiuhcoatl. With a raspy, weak rattle, its body slumped. The Browns and I hastily stepped aside to avoid being crushed and the felled serpent's body crashed with enough force to gouge out yet another trench on the earth. My kobolds quickly moved in for the kill, but a command from my part halted their advance. This fucker was mine! For Lyra!

Stalking over with heavy steps to make sure that fucking soulbag could hear his approaching demise. Coming to a stop right before Xiuhcoatl´s snout and planted on of my boots with a lot more force than necessary on the abused remains of his head.

"Time to die you son of a bitch," I hissed coldly, raising the Beast with both hands above my head "Your soul is mine!" I roared and brought my weapon down with all my unholy might.

The sound as the enchanted mace collided with the fallen serpents skull would be a thing forever eternalized in my memory, the sound as the Beast effortlessly tore through the weakened scales, smashed through the bones of his skull and bite deeply into the grey mass inside.

It was glorious and beautiful, like a symphony from Bach or the smile of the Mona Lisa.

But one strike was not enough, the inferno of hatred still blazing brightly inside me, I freed the Beast and with a cry that conveyed all my pent up hatred, frustration and adrenaline, brought it down a second time, this strike almost cracking Xiuhcoatl´s skull in two, sending tainted blood and brain mass flying everywhere.

With this last strike, a violent tremor shook my victim for the last time in his miserable life and not moments later, a flurry of souls exploded out of the serpent’s corpse and after whirling around me for a few moments like a swarm of fireflies, to finally home into my body.

This moment, the adrenaline crash came down in me and my whole body began to feel just so heavy. Staring down at the carcass of my foe, I managed to yank the Beast free, only for the mace to nearly slip out of my numbing fingers, the weapons stained head impacting the ground with a dull thud.

Tears began to well up in my eyes as my gaze roamed over the wreckage Xiuhcoatl wrought and the Minion Pillar still jutting out of it.

I stared down at my gloved hands and found them stained with blood, most likely Xiuhcoatl´s but I could not help myself but to imagine it to be Lyra´s too. Tears begun running down my cheeks. At this point I would have given anything to just hear her always slightly exuberant voice one more time, to see her adorably deranged smile once more...

"Wohoo Master, you did it! Hurray!" Lyra´s voice hit me like a lightning bolt, causing my head to snap upwards so fast my helmet nearly flew off and sure enough, there she was!

My Unicorn was dangling in the air, held aloft by a strained looking Daring Do.

"Lyra? What..." I said weakly.

Daring Do fluttered back down, heaving a sigh of relief as she let go of Lyra. The little Unicorn barreled into me, knocking my ass to the ground. She thanked and praised me in every which way she could. Minty Horse had all but given up hope before my kobolds and I charged in for her rescue and she made sure I knew how grateful she was. Her speech devolved into increasingly unintelligible blubbers as she nuzzled my tear-streaked face, not that she seemed to mind.

"I thought you died," I said quietly after she her diatribe ended and allowed me to stand.

"I almost did, Master," she said happily. "But while you were fighting the foul worm, Daring came in and freed me."

I looked in surprise to the Pegasus, who was looking at us with a neutral expression. "You're welcome," she said and left it at that.

"And look, it's the artifact you were looking for, Master. It's still safe and sound."

Indeed, I'd almost forgotten why we came here in the first place. The Minion artifact, despite suffering severe blows from the serpent, stood tall and proud as can be.

"Hey, behind you," Daring warned.

What? More fighting? Ugh...

I turned, only to find myself facing a horde of unadulterated fugly. The Hobgoblins, the entire village, I think, gathered, some staring at me with unnerving awe while others gawking at their felled 'god'. One of them, the head honcho from before, I assumed, stepped forward and bowed low. He emitted that foul, annoying language, his voice more guttural than my captive.

"Uh, did you catch that?" I asked Daring while Lyra hid behind me, eyeing the Gobs in fear and anger.

"Kill them, Master. Kill them all!" Minty Horse screeched. "Those dirty rats took me from your magnificence and tried to feed me to that serpent."

Probably understanding the little Unicorn's gripe, the lead Gob spoke even quicker. Daring looked like she barely managed to keep up.

"He admits to foalnapping Lyra, but he says he had no choice. If he didn't bring an offering, then Xiuhcoatl would eat him and his entire village," Daring informed. The Gob jabbered away again. "He also says that since you killed the serpent, you have taken its place as their new god."

I groaned, facepalming while Lyra voiced her own incredulity. "God? Why would Master want to become a god to these filthy, foalnapping rat mutants who shit themselves at any opportunity? She already has me and a tower full of... well, slightly more hygienic and better behaved Minions."

"He says he and his village will remain loyal to you," Daring translated. "And that his people will supply you with all kinds of ingredients for alchemy, precious stones and metals they find in the swamps."

"Really now?" I muttered, rubbing my chin in thought.

What do you think, Gnarl? Does this sound like a good idea?<<

Of course, Your Evilness,<< he said smugly. >>They are simple, lesser creatures who understand only power. Yes, you should take their offer, and if they try anything that displeases your Ladyship, they are weak and cowardly enough that you may slaughter them all with ease and harvest their souls.<<

Well, that's all I need to hear. After everything I'd gone through in this godforsaken swamp, I think I've earned a little extra bonus. "I accept your offer," I said with my best Overlord voice. Lyra groaned while the Gob turned to his ilk, arms raised and made the announcement, for the rest of the Gobs cheered, hailing me as their new goddess.

It would´ve been kinda cute actually if they had been... well, cute. This way, it was amusing at best.

"What are you gonna do now?" asked Daring, idly fiddling with her kaki vest.

"Honestly? I'm gonna go back home, take a nice long bath and stuff myself full of food, you?"

She frowned. "I meant about... well, this?" She waved her hoof over the assembled Gobs, who had mingled with my Minions, chattering animatedly.

"What do you want me to say, Miss Yearling? I don't really plan stuff. I just do whatever the hell I feel like doing. But you know what? Let me put your little pony mind at ease. I can at least promise I won't cause trouble for the next week or so." Well, more because after enduring the hell that was today, I'd spend that time lounging and lazing about. "How about you, Miss Do? Any plans for getting out of here?"

She scowled. "I came here for that artifact, but you're not gonna let me take it, are you?"

"Not a chance," I said smoothly.

The corner of her lip curled and a soft growl escaped her throat. "Fine, take it. Do with it what you will." I had to give her props. It couldn't be easy for her to say it. Luckily, she realized trying to take the artifact by force would end badly for her.
"It's nothing personal, Daring," I said honestly. "But in all fairness, it belongs to me. Besides, how were you planning on hauling it out of here? You'd need at least three Earth Ponies to drag it out of this muck." She looked away. Guess she thought I had a point.

"And you know, you saved Lyra. Thanks for that." She nodded tersely. "Now, to show my gratitude, I could open up a portal for you. Get you out of this fetid swamp lickety split."

"How are you... let me guess, magic?" I nodded. "Thanks but no thanks. I can find my way out," she said with a tone that booked no argument. She turned; her wings flared and prepared to take off. "I'm glad you managed to rescue your friend though," she said and took off, not bothering to wait for me to reply.

"Goodbye, Miss Do. I wish you well," I muttered and returned my attention to my assembled thralls. With a mental command, I sent my Minions to retrieve the artifact. We would need a suitable point to transfer it back to the tower. The lead Gob (turned out he could actually speak on a Diamond Dog level if he really put his all into it) suggested I could use his village as an entry point whenever I wished and I took him up on his offer.

With Lyra and my kobolds in tow, we followed him back to the village where I opened a permanent portal to the stockrooms of my tower. The Minions were first to enter, eagerly carrying the totem pole past while Minty Horse hurried after, no doubt keen to get away from the swamp and I followed hot on her heels.

Author's Note

This new chapter was brought to you almost to 97% by my good friend ArreClonClipo, with me just chipping in here and there. Just a part of a little experiement but make sure to let him know how you liked it (if at all^^).

New Minion Artifact secured: Minion Pillar
This mighty artifact raises the maximum Horde cap up to sixty! Bow before the Dark Ruler!

New Area conquered: Hobgoblin village, Hayseed Swamps
Even though weak fighters, the Hobgoblins can supply the Dark Ruler with valuable alchemistic ingridients and the odd rare gem from the depths of the swamps.

Minion Horde Capacity: 60

Domination: +++

Destruction: +

15. A Renegades Call

- 15: A Renegades Call -

"Careful. Careful..."

With my tongue sticking out and sweat forming big beads on my forehead, I channeled the last bit of Mana into my Dimension Door Chalk, patent pending. Opposite of me sat, clad in her deep black cultist get-up, Lyra with her horn aglow as she kept the runes etched into the chalk stable. The Unicorns muzzle was a picture of concentration as well. Both of us had our fair share of exploding chalk and wildfire Mana to the face so we could gladly do without any more of that in the closer future.

"Aaaand done!" I let out an exhausted sigh and canceled the flow of magical energy, leaving my equine minion to carefully put the unassuming piece of white chalk into a box that already held a good dozen of its brethren.

"Amazing." Lyra gushed, despite her own exhaustion "You are getting better and better at this Master. Soon you will surely be able to do this on your own, without little, old, superfluous, unimportant..."

As much as I came to appreciate Lrya´s self-demeaning ramblings, I stopped her by holding up my hand. My head was positively pounding from Mana withdrawal. "Lyra, be a doll and put this batch of the DDC to the others on the shelf, then fetch me a snack and something to drink from the kitchen, will ya?" I asked, plopping down on a chair and whipping my face with a cloth. "Get yourself something too. You did well in assisting me today servant."

Minty Horse nodded eagerly and left my arcane lab, doing lots of curtsies and talking her mouth fuzzy... well, fuzzier with an seemingly endless stream of praise for me and emphasis of her own unworthiness.

After Lyra left, I spend quite some time with my head simply planted on the burned, chipped and in general very hard surface of the sturdy table that took up most of the space in the room, feeling the Tower Heart doing it´s damn job and refueling me with fresh, ambient Mana and making the Shub Niggurath damned headache go away.

"Ah yiss, that feels good..." I half moaned in a low tone as I sat back up, eying the shelf that held at least twenty four pieces of magically charged chalk amongst other, more obscure things, like glasses full of newt eyes, frogs in alcohol and all other kinds of alchemical ingredients that I scrunched together, partly with Lyra´s help and partly with the help of Patches. It was surprising what a successful mine could produce beside ore and gems. Also the Gobs from the Hayseed Swamps had been true to their squeaked words and delivered literal baskets worth of all kinds of ingredients. I felt quite a bit of satisfaction rising in me.

True, the past week or so had been rather uneventful, but there was plenty to keep me occupied at the tower. Yeah, when I played the games it was all 'go to tower, get mission from walnut, kill stuff, rinse and repeat'. Turns out, it's a little more different in real life.

It wouldn't be so bad if the Minions didn't keep on coming at me for the littlest things. "Ooh, master, the latrines are filling up. Should we keep on using them or build new ones?" "Master, it seems our chickens and cattle have died due to neglects. What does your Eminence want for dinner tonight?" Ugh! It just went on and on and on and on! Capable as the kobolds could be in battles, they had little more than two brain cells to rub together in order to generate thought when it came to maintaining a big-ass tower.

Gnarl helped out where he could, but even he was but a single Minion among hundreds. In the end I was forced to rope Onyx and Lyra into helping me keep track of what the kobolds needed.

Lyra, she went at it with her usual eagerness.

It seemed she was rather fond of ordering around the kobolds and more than a few came complaining to Gnarl about the 'loud, annoying, bossy pony'. Yeah, you don't want to get ordered around? Then think for your fucking selves, you little idiots!

Onyx... well, she got results, but the minions were quite scared of her. Surprisingly enough, none complained, and I wasn't about to investigate the matter further. Although... just to be sure, I kept an eye on those under her watch and had been pleasantly surprised to see none had mysteriously gone missing. Huh.

Well, that's how it was. I was set to keep on minding my own business when, wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden the pull of "the Call" made itself known once again. To be honest, I was quite surprised, seeing as Zinnia and I by now nearly exclusively used the magic chalk to visit each other and the other Displaced I had met so far had not called upon me for quite some time.

"Well, looks like my snack will have to wait." I said to no one in particular as I geared up and stood up. Just as I heard the clip-clop of four smallish hooves coming closer, the light swallowed me and off I went away to another episode of Multiversal shenanigans.

Only, this time, I did not simply appear on my summoners location, instead I found myself back into the weird space-time rift that initially had brought me to Equestria. For a second a small spark of hope that I was about to get home came to life but was just as fast stamped out again. That would be just to much luck for me.

Finally, after what felt like several minutes of floating around in the area between dimensions, the swirling vortex of magic and otherworldly energies finally saw it fit to spit me out in the world of whoever it was that found my token.

No, it literally spat me out. No gentle landing for me, no siree. I was promptly dropped at some point in midair and wouldn't you know it, I was so surprised that I landed face first. I was that close to biting off the tip of my tongue and if that wasn't bad enough, I also landed hard on my stomach. Hard enough to get the wind knocked out of me.

While I waited to regain my breath and allow the pain to abate, I gave the multiverse some choice words of what exactly I thought about it at the point and none of them were nice. Hmm, maybe I can lodge a complaint against it for its lousy travel methods and slow rate of service. Really, would it kill it to at least put out a snack bar or soda machine while traveling? Hell, I would even go for a tomato juice! Well, it certainly beats those family vacations we took back in the day, mom stuffing ungodly amounts of luggage into dad's mini-bus, all of us cramped inside and my little brother who seemed to make it his mission in life to literally annoy the hell outta me. Ugh.

"Whoever summoned me here better be dead or dying," I muttered darkly and slowly got back to my feet. "Or else they're gonna wish they were."

Where was here, anyway? Oh no. Oh, nonononononono! God fucking naw! Am I in the fucking Badlands again?! Yes, it looked that way. The harsh sun, the dry air, the barren earth ripped straight out of a post apocalyptic film... I was indeed back in this hellhole again and this time, with no well stocked tower in sight.

With a cry of frustration, I unhooked the Beast from my hip and swung it at the nearest object which turned out to be withered remains of a tree, all gnarly and stuff. Just looking at that thing briefly gave me the best Sleepy Hollow creeps, half expecting to hear the heavy thundering of hooves any moment now, followed by a searing pain biting into my neck. Or Johnny Depp suddenly popping up from nowhere. But just as the Universe liked it, nothing of those happened, the only thing that happening was the Beast colliding with the dead tree and turning a huge part of it into toothpicks in a very satisfying manner.

"Alright, whoever is out here, you better come out!" I screamed into the open terrains, consciously deepening and distorting my voice to make it scarier than it really was. It was a trick most Overlords used early on, but as they got eviler, their voice naturally took on a scary as fuck quality. Certainly helps cow lesser enemies.

It really better be a fucking good reason for coming here.<<

And... nothing. I nearly facepalmed. Where was this person? I looked around, and for the first time noticed behind me the base of a particularly steep cliff that soared hundreds of feet into the air, and right in front of me was a cavern dug into its rocky depths.

Ooookay...

Clearing my throat, I opted for a more diplomatic approach and spoke in my normal undertones. "Alright, buddy, look here. Sorry for the whole display, I apologize if I scared you and yada, yada, yada. Now can you please come out here?" I crossed my arms and waited for my summoner to make the next move. To pass the time, I began humming Ode to Joy. Classic music was always a good way to show your cultured side and make you seem less psychotic. I find that less psychotic is good for first impressions.

Well, I didn't have to wait too long. The scraping of dirt resonated somewhere between the cavern and from behind one of the sides of the entrance poked out a head. The short hair kinda made me think it was a dude, but closer inspection revealed my summoner to be of the female persuasion, if the features were anything to go by.

Hey, another girl. Wonder what she can do. Time to put on the winner smile.<<

Relaxing my stance, I flashed her said smile showing just enough of my newly acquired Alucard teeth not to totally freak her out and waved with one hand. "Hallo auch [Hey there]. Nice weather we got, ain't it?" Yes, the weather. I talked about the weather. What? It's a perfectly good opener, even if you talk about a skin scorching and bone bleaching day in Faust´s ashtray.

The girl looked at me questioningly and cocked her head, but her features were very much wary. Not surprising, she did look kinda young after all. Agh, and then I realized I still had my helmet on, which more than did its job of both protecting my precious mug and making me look awesome. I promptly removed it and allowed her to see I was... well, that I looked humanoid, at least.

"Oh come on now, please don´t give me this frightened squirrel look, come out, despite looking like it I won´t bite." It took every ounce of willpower in my body not to add a 'hard' at the end. Perviness was something that could botch up first contact like a lead pipe to the face.

I waited her out, keeping my friendly smile and trying not to lose my patience. Sure enough, she hesitantly stepped out. Heh, my winning personality works, who cares what my BFF used to say? Now that she stepped out, I could see she was in dire need of some sun. Seriously, the girl looked pale as a ghost. A bit more and she might would become see-through. She wore jeans and tied around her waist were the sleeves of a gray hoodie and on her torso was a plain sky blue shirt. To sum it up, she looked like a picture book example of a background character. Maybe she was from some kind of Indie game?

"'Sup," I said. "Name's Umbra, the Overlady and one of any number of Multiverse trekkies. And who might you be?" Yepp, I´m smooth as fuck.

She eyed me up and down, no doubt awestruck by my presence and amazingly cool armor.

"What are you supposed to be, some kind of demon?" She asked bluntly.

"Tha... Wha... some kind of demon?!" I spluttered. "Look, squirt, I'll give you a pass because you're obviously not aware of who I am, but don't compare me to some common, everyday 'I'll possess you and make you do evil shit!' Demon. I´ll have you know that I, Fräulein, am a bona fide Dark Ruler, otherwise known as an Overlord or in my case, the Overlady."
If she was affected my outburst, she did not show it, but now that she gave me yet another once over, a look of realization began to dawn on her features.

I couldn't help but smile and answered her unspoken question. "That's right, I am a Displaced who dressed up as the Overlord. Pretty sweet armor, eh?" I said smugly and half turned, taking a pose to show off said armor.

"Displaced?"

I nodded. "Ja, I got sent here by that asshole merchant, same as you. Now, what exactly did you go dressed as, lonely wandering girl? You have this distinct Indie game vibe to you." I asked cheekily.

By the way she looked at me, you'd think I'd just professed my undying love for her. "What are you even talking about?"

I sighed. This girl was really putting a damper on my mojo, and I'd been working on my introduction to other Displaced for days! Well, maybe more like a couple of times in front of my bathroom mirror, but I put a great deal of thought into it.

"Okay, let´s do this slowly then, kay? I give you my name, how about you do me the same courtesy? I'll start, my name is Umbra. What's yours?" I said pleasantly and held my hand out to her.

It took her but a brief second of indecision before grasping my armored gauntlet with her own hand. "I'm Jacqueline."

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I said with a smile. "So tell me, Jackie, can I call you Jackie?" I continued, channeling my inner Disney Hades masterfully.

"No."

"Anyway, was it you who summoned me here? Did you find my token, a small iron pendant on a leather string?"

Her brow furrowed. "Token? You mean this thing?" She said, holding up said token after pulling it out of her pocket.

"Yep, that's the one." I smirked, giving the pendant a small tap that made it swing gently. "Seeing as you don´t know fluff bout the whole she-bang you are in, let aunty Umbra tell you about it. Ahem, when a Displaced channels some of his or her inner power, chi, ki, mana, mojo or however you wanna call your spiritual and magical juice into a small object that represents them best and sends it out into the Void between the many, many, maaaaaaaaa~aany Verses the Multiverse is composed of to be summoned by other individuals, this little thingamajig is called a Token. Think of it like the soapstones in Dark Souls or if you want it really simple, an invite for Co-Op during an online match. Normally, these invites are used by other Displaced when they are in a pinch and need some extra oomph to show whoever is on the receiving end not to mess with us Displaced or if they are in need of advice, are curious what the little talking thingamabob does they just found or when they feel like having something else but little technicolor ponies or anthro ponies for company. You with me so far?"

"What's an anthro pony?"

I swear, I very nearly did an anime facevault. "You're kidding. You're kidding, right?"

She shrugged, looking as clueless as ever. Oh, for the love of... "They're ponies, only anthro. You know", I made some sort of gesture with my hand. "They stand upright, have bodies like people, only with hooves instead of feet. Fur covering their skin and muzzles on their faces, tails, horse ears, all that jazz."

"That sounds... disgusting," she said, her face twisted into a grimace.

"Don´t knock it till you laid it." My mouth blurted out before my higher cognitive functions could prevent it.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she was prevented from doing so and looked at me with something akin to horror. "Wait, what?"

I cleared my throat. "Anyway, I take it you've already met the ponies?"

"Ponies? As in small, pastel, bug-eyed little shitbags?"

Well, that's certainly a new way to refer to them. "Well, I would call them 'plate eyed' since their eyes are so fucking huge but yes. But hey, that´s the way Hasbro and Miss Faust made them. After all, it’s a show for what, twelve years old girls? You should know it, all other Displaced I met so far do."

"And why do you keep calling me a Displaced? I'm not Displaced. I'm here because some greasy creep used some powers or something and plunged me into this cursed ponyworld."

"Those weird powers are called magic dear," I said, casually letting my Corruption flare in my hand before extinguishing it as fast "and the greasy creep was some eldritch abomination that likes to rip humans from their cozy lives and toss them into all kind of different version of the Saturday morning cartoon 'My little Pony'. Thus the name Displaced, cause we all hail from another place or something like that. Zinnia never really explained the origin of the name to me. And since you, my dearest Jaqueline are clearly from good old Terra, this makes you a Displaced." I punctuated the last sentence by playfully bobbing the girls nose. "Also, from how you speak about your version of Equestria, name of this whole land by the way, the Ponies put you through some kind of wringer or gave you shit for just being different hn? That seems to be the norm in most 'feral' or 'classic' Verses. Hypocritical little shits, all talking bout Love and Tolerance but only as long as you are a Pony yourself. Be another race and they shun you or even unleash the Orbital Rainbow Cannon at you, turning you into a lawn ornament for the next millennium, give or take," I huffed a bit after my mini rant before I managed to collect myself again. "Wanna talk about it? Tell me a bit about your version of the show?"

"...What?"

This time I could not hold back a full fledged facepalm. "Sweet black fucking Sabbath, girl. What am I, talking in another language or something?"

She crossed her arms, scowling.

I sighed. "Alright, look, let's just start with the basics and see if I can catch you up. Have you met the Mane Six?"

"Mane... six?" She asked lamely.

"Really, not even them? What kind of pegasister are you?"

She looked even more baffled than before.

"Are you even aware of My Little Pony?"

A shake of her head.

"Then how did you even wind up in this world?"

"I ask myself that question every day," she said without a trace of humor.

I sighed yet again. This girl just seemed determined to make things difficult. "Alright squirt, I'll tell you again, and pay close attention because this'll be the last time I explain it. There is such a thing as the Multiverse and within that Multiverse are any number of infinite universes that are parallels to your own. You with me so far?" She nodded. "Alright. Now, within many of those alternate universes there exists a show called My Little Pony, specifically the fourth generation created by the lovely Lauren Faust and which has spawned a cult following of men and women of all ages throughout the world. Still following?" She nodded again, though there was clear skepticism on her face. "So the dealio here is that in several of the universes there are people like me, called Displaced. At one point in time we were average Joes and Janes, but be it by fate or coincidence, every single one of us attended a fateful convention where this 'greasy creep' as you call him, took us from our world and plunged us into this fictional cartoon universe based on a show for little girls. Now here's where it gets interesting. In doing so, the 'creep', us Displaced call him the Merchant since he usually poses as one, gives us powers that correspond to whatever we went dressed as. Since I dressed like the Overlord from the same game, I now have access to all of his abilities. If you were to dress like, say, Supergirl, you would have access to all of her abilities after the Merchant sent you here. Do you understand now?"

She looked down, her expression ponderous. Heh, she was kinda pretty. "I think so," she murmured. I guess if she really wasn't aware of all this by now, it must have been a lot to take in. "Multiverse, Displaced, little girl's show... what the hell," she said probably more to herself than me.

"You know what the weird thing is?" She asked rhetorically. "That explanation actually kind of makes sense. After everything I've seen..." She trailed off.

"Let me guess, it's the cartoony state of things that got you at first, wasn't it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, tell me about it. First time I opened my eyes here I thought I was high or something."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Really now? You get high a lot? I mean, no offense but you look kinda young. Are you even old enough to drive?"

"Yes I am. Shut up. And if I thought I was high, it's because this Merchant creep of yours ambushed me in a greasy alley, injected me with some sort of eldritch, psychedelic drug and next thing I know, I wake up in this pastel colored, ponyworld infested with all sorts of freaks, idiots and hedonists." The way she said it, all in a deadpan monotone made me question whether it was all true or just her way of being sarcastic. Couldn't tell which.

"Yeah. Well..." I chuckled awkwardly, fidgeting, not that she seemed to notice, for her gaze turned introspective, her scowl deepened, probably recalling her first memories here. I'm guessing they weren't very pleasant.

"So," she said, shaking herself out of her musing and returning attention to yours truly. "Displaced, gender-bent Overlord, huh? Were you from Earth too?" Man, the way she looked at me, you'd think I was about to prove or disprove the existence of God. She looked at me with intense focus and scrutiny, her eyes searching mine for any sign of deceit.

"Of course I'm from Earth, girl. Didn't I just tell ya?" I said with a laugh. "Germany, to be exact, hence the accent, in good old Nordrhein Westfalen. And you, what city do you hail from, squirt? I'm guessing you're one of our neighbors over the Atlantic?"

Weird girl was weird. She stepped forward, hesitantly, and the features of her little mug shifted as she looked at me in a completely new light. Like a starving man looking at a stuffed crust meat lover's pizza, or a pirate leering at a mountain's worth of booty. She took a step closer and I couldn't help but notice the difference in height between us with me being my awesome one meter eighty tall (plus boots) while Jackie seemed to be a whole head smaller. Then, the corners of her mouth twitched upward, slowly stretching until there was an honest to goodness smile of pure joy on her little face.

"You... you're like me?" She chuckled. A small, disbelieving sound. "I didn't think I'd ever see someone else. I... I thought I would die in this wretched world and never see someone else again a-and you... you're here and..." The poor girl looked so overwhelmed that words failed her. I admit, I'd never seen anyone look at me quite like that. Like a precious treasure she had only dreamed of, but thought unattainable.

Then she did something I honestly never would have seen coming. She grasped my shoulders, pulled me down and met my lips with hers, enveloping me in a fierce, passionate kiss. So stunned was I that my brain momentarily shut off for the moment and I reacted on pure instinct. I kissed back, with quite a bit of skill, mind you. Heh, I don't think she realized what she was doing. She held the position for about five Mississippi's before a dawning look of horror spread throughout her features. Her attitude then made a full one-eighty, and where not a moment ago I was enjoying her eager, if unskilled smooch, I now found her hands shoving me away with enough force to send me flying backwards by quite a smidge where I landed heavily on my back.

"Oh... oh, god. I can't believe I just did that." I heard her choke out and sure enough, she promptly began spitting to get 'me' out of her mouth. I might have been offended had it not been so funny.

Suppressing a massive grin, I deftly got back to my armored feet and busted myself off. The poor girl had her back turned to me, arm furiously rubbing at her mouth and muttering a number of things under her breath. So busy was she freaking out she did not notice me sidle right next to her."Oh my, Fräulein [Miss] Jacqueline," I tried to say in a sultry tone, though it came out as mirthful more than anything. "I´m quite flattered but I'm afraid I am already taken. Not that my girlfriend would mind. I am pretty sure Zinnia would be all in for a threesome with a cutie like you but I somehow have the distinct feeling that this was a spur of the moment thing and you normally don´t bat for the other team. Still..." I trailed off, making sure she was looking at me and used the tip of my tongue to slowly give my lips a once over and smacked them like a connoisseur assessing a particularly fine wine. "I´d give this kiss eight from ten possible points. Would smooch again." I quibbed, a mischievous grin etched on my face before I clasped my hands behind my back and leaned forward, shooting little Jackie my best shit eating smile.

"What? You sound like a pervert for Chrissakes!" Her voice cracked and backed away a good distance from me.

I could not hold it back any longer and burst out in a full bellied laugh. Man, was this girl inexperienced. "Oh, come off it, squirt. I'm only joking. Besides, you're... what, fourteen?"

"I'm sixteen!" She snapped irritably.

"Still, a whole ten years too young for me. Now, do you understand what I tried to explain to you? Displaced, tokens, multiverse, all that jazz?"

She grimaced, eyes closed shut, obviously trying to put what just transpired to the dankest, darkest corner of her head. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hard to believe it makes sense," She mumbled.

I nodded concedingly. "Ja, I know what you mean, kiddo. But hey, at least you know you're not the only one. There's many more like us out there and who knows, you may yet get to meet some of them."

"Wait," she said suddenly, looking up at me with a newfound spark of hope in her eyes. "If you can do all this dimension hopping thing, does that mean you could get me back to Earth?"

I sucked in a breath through my teeth. "Ahh... no, Fräulein. I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. There's no way to get back, as far as I know. Sorry..." I trailed off lamely. Girl looked disappointed, that's for sure, but not as much as I'd have imagined. She looked bitter, more than anything.

"Typical. Just my luck," she mumbled darkly, more to herself than to me. "So, do you maybe know a way out of this desert? I really gotta get back."

"Let me guess, to Ponyville, right?"

She looked at me strangely. "Uh, yeah. How did you know?"

I scoffed. "Please, girl. About ninety percent of all Displaced wind up somewhere in that little horsetown. It's like a magnet for strange and unusual, don't you know?" I clapped my hands loudly but suddenly, I felt the familiar tug of an opening portal inside my mind "Well then, looks like the Universe thinks that you don't really need me to stick around, seeing as it is about to get me back into my own Verse. Fucking random summon timers. But hey, I like you, kid. Gimme a holler if you ever need a helping hand with a baddie or a beastie or anything of the sort, ja?"

"W-wait, wha... you're leaving?"

I sighed and looked back at her. "Well, yeah. The whole point of the tokens is for you to summon me whenever you're in a pinch. When you got a monster or a baddie or something that needs an extra set of hands to take down. The only drawback is that the summons have a rather random timer that I can not influence and right now, I am about to get sucked back because reasons. Anyway, Jackie, it's been a pleasure to meet you. Let's do this again sometime, ja?"

"B-bu... wait!" She yelled out and in the blink of an eye, she was there, right next to me and clasping my forearm with her two small hands, her eyes looking up at me in panic. "Where am I supposed to go? I-I can't find my way around these badlands. I'll get lost and starve to death!"

I couldn't help but chuckle and tousled her already messy hair, making it even more spiky. "Oh, don't worry, kiddo. Believe it or not, I actually do know where we are, more or less. See where I'm pointing?" She followed my arm west. "Just keep on heading that way. About an hour or two and you'll see Appaloosa just on the horizon. Just ask for help or whatever and the ponies'll take care of you. Now if you'll excuse me, momma's got to get on going."

Removing my hand from her grasp, I walked a little distance away as I felt the portal open up that would take me home. Huh, this was odd. Where it normally would appear under me, it now stood at least twenty meters in the air and its... I dunno, gravitational pull or something grabbed ahold of my body and I found myself steadily floating off the ground.
I chanced one last look at Jackie. The girl was looking up at me, her face the epitome of anxiousness. She continuously wrung her hands and bit her lip. D'aww, was she worried about me or something? That's sweet. I was about to raise my hand and wave goodbye to assure her nothing was wrong when the squirt exploded into action.

Before I knew it, she dashed forward and jumped, latching on to my ascending midsection like a koala. A rabid one!

"What in the...! Get off me, girl! You're not supposed to come! You don’t have a token out so I will maybe not be able to send you back. You would be stranded in my Verse!" Yikes, so apparently freakish strength was one of the girl's powers. I literally felt her steadily crushing my spine.

"No! Please take me with you! If I have to remain the only sane person in this heathen horse land I will literally die!" She cried out in desperation and tightened her hold on me.

With a growl escaping my throat, I did what I could to pry her off. One armored gauntlet went for her head while the other headed straight for her collarbone. "Fuck, let me go already you crazy, goddamned Gör [Brat]! I can't fucking breathe!" I gasped out with as much venom as I could.

"No!"

"Get off!" I tried a judo chop at her head. In retaliation, the crazy strong little girl reared back and socked me with an honest to goodness headbutt in the gut. The wind was literally knocked out of me, even through my thick armor. Fuck, that hurt! So much so that I hung there limp in midair, gasping in desperation and tried in vain to clutch at my poor stomach, only there was a head where my aching gut should be.

And all the while we were still heading into the depths of the portal. Jackie herself looked none too sure about heading deep into it, but her hold did not waver in the least.

Well, I was too out of it to do much. Our trajectory led us into the portal, which closed immediately and we were there, floating aimlessly in the space between dimensions. Well, at least when I got back to my tower I could give the little brat a lesson or two on respecting her elders and send her on her way. Maybe putting her over my knee and giving her a long due spanking would do her some good!

Of course, that cunt Fate and her pimp Murphy reared up their heads again from the putrescent cesspool of bad luck and broken dreams that they dwelled on and saw it fit to render those plans moot.

Something happened. I'm not sure what it was. The dimension around us warped and distorted, flashing in a myriad of colors, not unlike the effects of dropping acid. Jackie could see it too, and she looked nervously all around her. Her grip slackened and though it was relieving to be free of the crushing pressure, I knew this was not the time to celebrate.
Something was wrong. There was a force that interfered with the delicate balance of the energies that governed the space between worlds.

I tried to concentrate and extend my senses, which was particularly hard to do when you have a stabbing pain in your gut. It hurt nearly worse than my first period! I did not have to look far to see the cause of the problem, and that very same problem was currently latched onto me. Looking at Jaqueline's small frame, my eyes stung from what I saw. Where I normally would see a single dominant or main mass of Ley or Life Force, sometimes with another, underlying color I was greeted with a pure hurricane of chaotic colors. It was like watching a broken kaleidoscope. Not only the were the main colors yellow/brown, red, blue and green swirling around in Jackie like a pissed of swarm of killer bees, there where also amalgams like purple, white and even black. The Ley was shifting constantly, sometimes a single color, sometimes dozens over dozens. It was... pure chaos.

Fuck, whatever it was this girl had inside her it was majorly screwing up with the fabric of space and time. If this kept on going then... well, comic book law dictates that messing around with this was probably bad for the Multiverse. Like in the end of all things existing bad.

If I didn’t do something then we would be well and thoroughly screwed.

I closed my eyes and breathed, trying to calm, focus, and harness the reserves of Mana within me. I closed my arms around the increasingly freaked out girl, holding her close to me, even going as far as gently stroking her messy mob of hair to soothe her. Her grip shifted to hold on to me more securely.

I used my own Manaflow to absorb as much of the magic that leaked off the girl and that was screwing up the space around us. Gott im Himmel [God in heaven], it was hard. The stuff leaked off of her like water off a broken faucet. Not to mention that it felt like I was guzzling down gallons of rancid fish oil! Never before I literally tasted Ley but the first time I did, it nearly made me puke. Typical!

The space around us stabilized, but there were trickles that escaped despite my best efforts. We were like that for a while, Jacqueline tried asking questions in regard to what was going on, but I didn't answer. I was a little busy trying to keep the Multiverse from imploding! Also, speaking through gritted teeth, nah, does not really work.

If that wasn't bad enough, our return trip wasn't exactly fast and the more time passed, the lower my Mana reserves got, the more tired I was and the more likely it was that the energy leeching off her would escape my attempts to contain it.

Sure enough, it happened. More of that cursed power leaked off of her. My head was pounding. Stars danced across my eyes and all around us, the corridor between worlds grew more unstable.

I'm not all that clear what happened next. Maybe the Multiverse knew that prolonging our trip would be catastrophic. Who knows. But whatever it was that was inside this girl, the Multiverse wanted it out as quick as possible. So it did.

We were meant to appear back in my tower, but somewhere along the way we got derailed. We reached my universe, the portal opened and we were spat back out.

The first thing I noticed was the cold. The next thing I noticed was the white all around us, and the next thing I noticed was the fact we were falling from the sky.

Jackie had let go of me at some point and there she was, barely visible over the vicious snowstorm, flailing her arms and cursing. Me, I was drained. I knew I was in danger of becoming a bloody smear on the increasingly growing blanket of white beneath us, with a miniscule chance of being revived afterwards. I wanted to something, anything, to help stop our fall, but I had overexerted myself. My Mana reserves were depleted and it was all I could do stay conscious in spite of the pounding headache.

Well, not the way I imagined I'd go, but it probably wouldn't hurt. Too much.

I was half conscious at this point, but somewhere through the haze, I could hear Jackie's voice crying out my name. I felt two small, but strong hands grip me and she held me close, shouting any number of things I could barely make out. Only thing I managed to do in my dazed state was to bring my arms around Jackie, in the vain hope that I might be able to act as some kind of cushion for her to soften her impact.

Suddenly, my body shook violently and explosive sound resonated all around me, like crushed stone and from the corner of my eye I could make out pebbles, boulders and debris that resulted from whatever had happened. Huh, I think we hit the side of a mountain or something.

...And we were not dead.

Well, what do you know?

Regardless, we were still falling. Jackie's hold on me slipped and I went flying from her grasp.

Finally, I hit the ground and everything went dark.

Author's Note

SK: Howdy, hallo, salut and welcome to all of you wonderful peeps and peepettes. Today, I have a special treat for you with this chapter, or rather we have a special treat for you, ain´t that right Arre?

ACC:Yup, yup. Arre here, pony fiction writer extraordinaire... hey, why are you laughing, Katze?! Smartass...

SK: Hey, I'll have you know that my arse has a PhD in Jigglyness, Bouncyness AND Humina humina humina!

ACC: Now, now, Katze. You should know by this point that I do not longer fall prey to you and your sweet lil' rump. Let's at least pretend to try to appear professional, shall we? We don't want to give your poor, innocent readers an idea of what we get up to away from prying eyes.:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:Getting back to our main topic; for the past several months, this lovely German maiden and I have been plotting and scheming in secret, bringing our collective--and slightly demented--noggins together to bring you this, one of a multi part collab between Overlady and my own story, The Heartless Renegade. But I'll let my co-author fill you in a little. Take it from here, would ya?

SK: Ehrm, I mean, yes indeed my dear Arre. Allow me to explain a bit.
So as most of you know, my person is a rather prolific author in the Displaced genre with my story Overlady - Loot Equestria. It was an admittedly rough start but thankfully, somewhere along the way I happened to meet this wonderful example of a `Murican Gentleman going by the pen-name of ArreClonClipo who was willing to act as my proof reader for my numerous horsewords and as an advisor for the more grim aspects of my story since I initially sorely lacked in that department.

As time went, I decided to give Arre's very own story a read which is a take on the still very popular YHaY (or Your Human and You) genre which tends to be rather grim by nature so I in turn volunteered to act as an advisor for the comedic and in general more lighter aspects such a story could entail and after a while, I came across the question "Hey, what ever could happen if my very own Umbra the Overlady and Arre's Jacqueline the heartless Renegade where to meet by crazy cosmic chances?" and this thought soon gave birth to numberless childs which never one second ceased to harass me.

So I proposed to Arre... stop snickering you Vollpfosten! As I where, I told Arre of my idea and lo, he was all "Sure, let´s give it a whirl" after a while.

This means that you, oh esteemed readers of silly horsewords, will be able to hopefully enjoy a full arc of silly shenanigans, comedic character development, bloodsoaked battles and d´aww inducing bonding scenes between our girls, for now. And in the future, there is a good chance that little Jacqueline will now and then rear her pixie cut decorated head in Umbras little corner of the Multiverse to pay her new friend a visit, wreak all kinds of havoc and bestow the one or another grey hair on Umbra.

All these adventures will be full on canon in my story Overlady and to yet not defined degrees semi to full canon in The heartless Renegade.

Also, Jackie, despite technicaly fitting the description of a 08/15 Displaced, is NOT one of them. So no token per se for little Jaqueline.

Yes, that means no one else in the wide, wide Multiverse is going to get playing with Jackie, except Umbra.

ACC: And so, for the past several months, Katze and I brainstormed on how to make a good, believable crossover that(hopefully) won't grow stale and so our efforts resulted in this little lovechild of a collab--which will be long, by the way--that's sure to keep you entertained throughout its many, many horsewords. Countless hours, frustration on both parts and more than a few bouts of mental fatigue were endured to bring about this final product and maybe a temporary fit of dementia or two(but damn if it wasn't fun) but we both managed to stay relatively sane through it all. The mindlink can be a bit unnerving at times though...

SK: Yes, the mindlink... Weird psychic connections aside, I wholeheartedly agree on every aspect. Working with Arre soon turned into the highlight of my week and will continue to be that hopefully for quite some time.

ACC: Well, I think we will leave it at this for now seeing as our screentime is almost over again.

SK: I am Schrödingers Katze.

ACC: And I am ArreClonClipo.

Both: Good Fight, good night!

16. Mending Wounds

-16. Mending Wounds -

First thing I noticed, even before registering I was awake, much less alive was the fucking pain. Literally, everything in me ached! My muscles felt like they were on fire, my bones ached and my head literally felt as though it'd been split open. I should know. It happened before.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been lying here. I tried to get a feel for my Mana reserves. They were slowly but steadily getting back on to their usual level, and by a rough estimate of their increment, it was probably a couple of hours since I smacked into the ground.

There was the shuffling of footsteps somewhere around me, echoing all around. I barely opened an eye and could see that I was lying down in a cave of some sort, and somewhere beside me was the light, warmth and crackling of a fire. I tried to get on up to a sitting position, but the strain proved to be too much for my body and I failed to suppress a moan of pain. "Gahh... fuck me sideways with a rusty garden rake... The bloody fuck happened?" I managed to say out loud. Even words hurt quite a bit.

Still, no one answered my question. Quickly losing my patience, I slowly... slowly ambled to move myself up. Oh, there was pain to be sure. Quite extraordinary at that, but pain and I had been getting well acquainted as of late, so I was able to power through it.

Now that I had a better view, I could see that the cave was well removed from the harsh weather conditions outside. There was nary a trace of snow, and whoever it was that put me here had been considerate enough to place me close to the fire. Was it the brat who did this? Did she survive a fall that even the Shepard couldn't hope to walk away from? Or was it someone else.

From what I remember of the show, the only place where there's snow are the northern territories of Equestria. Maybe a nice pony had seen my sorry state and moved to help?

No, that wasn't it. Why? Because filling up the cavern was a smell, a particularly good one. The smell of roasting meat. There, in the fire, propped up on sticks were hunks of some unfortunate animal. My mouth immediately watered. Using up all that Mana, not to mention my body churning through calories like crazy in the winterland had caused me no small amount of hunger. I felt like eating a horse, all the bad puns intended.

I reached out with my bare arm and... wait, what?

My armor. Where in the fuckedy fuck was my armor?

Looking down, I could see I was still clothed. Red tunic? Check. Brown pants? Check. Panties? Yup, all there. Whoever had laid me down here had made an impromptu bed out of a thick, brown, blanket like material that was very good at keeping me toasty and warm, even if it smelled a bit funky.

Minding to keep as much of myself under it, I removed one of the glorious meat chunks, juicy and brown and bit into it, not minding the fact it was searing hot. Tears began streaming down my face in a anime-ish fashion, of that I am sure as I chewed, swallowed and repeated. At this point I did not care what kind of meat this was, it was hitting the spot. After finishing my first course, I found enough strength in me to properly sit up, keeping the smelly yet warm blanket around me. "´Ello? Someone there? Jackie? Can you hear me girl?" I asked into the cave, mentally preparing several plans for several possible situations that I might would find myself in.

Ah, there was my armor, and I couldn't help but feel a smidge of irritation at how it had all been lumped together in an unsightly pile. But... where was the Beast? Surely not... well, shit. It was a sobering thought and though I would normally curse and make a big fuss about losing my trusted companion, I had just enough strength still to merely slump and sulk. Man, I liked that Beast.

No. Come on, already, me. This is not the time or place to be sentimental.<<

Mustering my slowly increasing strength, I tried to stand up again and... fraaaaaaaak that hurts! Ow. I may still be alive, but I banged myself up pretty good. I couldn't move much under my current condition. Shit, feels like some broken ribs. That will severely limit my movement.

It was at this point that I assessed the situation and assumed the worst. I was badly beaten, barely able to move. My armor had been discarded, the Beast lost and I couldn't perform a measly Fireball to save my life. Fuck, I was the Overlady. By all rights, my name and presence alone should be enough to inspire fear and hopelessness in the masses and here I was, easy pickings for whoever saw it fit to end me. This was unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE!

I slowed my breathing, calmed myself and closed my eyes. I called to what little Mana I had left and guided it to heal me. Not that any Overlord or even the famous Warlock himself thought about to create a self-healing spell, nooooo sir. All mayhem and destruction en masse but not the flimsiest bit of restoration magic, it would have been a reason to laugh would it not nearly made me cry! So I had to make with the bits and bobs of magical knowledge I scrunched together from Lyra or to be more precise, her memories. Mare had been at Celestia´s School for gifted Unicorns for a reason. Nonetheless all I could do was a far cry from any "real" healing spell. It accelerated my natural healing process at best and ate through my measly Mana reserves faster than a starved Dragon would through a pile of gems. It was a slow process, and I couldn't tell you how long I sat there, but sure enough, little by little, the overall pain eased, the stabbing sensation in my side had been reduced to a dull throb, and while I still couldn't perform any offensive magic, I was able to move around without immense discomfort or pain.

There, that was better. Now, first order of business, gear up. No sooner did I make to move for my armor when the sound of footfalls resonated on the stone walls around me, and coming round the bend that probably led outside was the brat herself.

She was covered head to toe in one of the same blankets I had, and snow clung to it like ticks to a moose. She shook it off a draped it over rock to warm. It was obvious she still hadn't' spotted me, for she searched the area around the fire. I cleared my throat to get her attention and sure enough she gave a little start of surprise before hurrying over to me, her face clearly anxious.

"Oh, my God. Are you--" But she was cut off as I slugged her with my strongest haymaker. Gaw, that hurt like a bitch! Still, it was worth it.

"O...kay. I guess I deserved that," the brat said, and half heartedly rubbed at the spot. What... did she not even feel it? Aargh!

"Deserved that? Deserved that?! Girl, you nearly, single handedly caused the destruction of the entire Multiverse!" I screamed with an intensity I never knew I had. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to keep all that bad juju inside you from leaking into the Void, not to mention that if it wasn't for you, I'd be chilling in my nice warm tower instead of being here, stuck in a damned ice box in the middle of nowhere and half dead! You... aargh!" I went for another hit, but she had enough sense to dodge and me? Well, I was still not all that there and so I ended up faceplanting the ground. Not exactly good when you've sustained massive internal damage.

Despite my best efforts I wailed in agony.

"God fucking son of a mother dancing polka with shoes full of rusty nails this hurts so fucking much my organs are trying to murder me by committing suicide by guzzling down barrels full of battery acid somebody kill me now!"

I had not felt that much pain since a long time. The incident with the Chimeras was definitive a close second.

I heard her footsteps come closer. "Here, let's get you warm," she muttered and grabbed my arm, draping it over her shoulder. "Can you stand?"

I was in a little too much pain to formulate a coherent response, so I tightened my hold on her and shakily got back to my feet. She guided me back to the fire and set me down close, taking a spot next to me.

"Are you hungry? There's meat," She offered, sounding a bit apologetic.

"I'm good. Already had some."

"Alright," she said quietly. From a pile of various assortment of things, she retrieved a small wooden board, kinda like the cutting boards people use back home and grabbed one of the searing pieces of meat right out of the fire, placing it atop her little board and sticking it with a knife.

She sat down next to me and quietly ate, board in her knees and slicing off pieces of meat, using the knife as a sort of fork. I would have advised against this or at least have warned her to be careful, but I was still kinda ticked.

"Sorry," she said all of a sudden, after we'd both been sitting in silence for a minute or two. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

I let out a breath I did not know I was holding. "It was pretty much all kinds of stupid what you did. You nearly killed us both and with ninety-nine, comma, nine, period percent all other forms of life all over the Multiverse," I said in a hard voice. Jackie looked away. "Well, I guess I can understand where you're coming from. I'm probably the only other person you've seen in a while, right?"

She smiled tentatively. "First person who still has their head on straight, yeah. I missed that. People, I mean. And when you were there and all of a sudden you were leaving... well, I could have handled that a little better."

In spite of myself, I couldn't help but chuckle. Man, I couldn't stay too mad at this girl. Hell, she was still so young. Me, I think I handled my coming to Equestria relatively well. True, I still missed my family, but all the same, I learned to take care of myself, I moved out and was more independent and knowledgeable in life than Jackie. Her... she was still a kid. Went to school, lived with her parents, hung out with friends and probably never had to deal with the shit us adults have had to. The things that hardened us and enabled us to fend for ourselves in the world. And if I was in the same situation as her... well, I could understand why she acted the way she did.

"Yeah, maybe next time think a little before jumping into the corridor between dimensions. That Multiverse can be a sneaky one, so you never know what it's gonna hit you with next."

For the first time she looked a little more upbeat. She sliced off a piece of her meat hunk and offered it, still impaled in the knife. I flashed her a big smile, wide enough that she could see my Alucard teeth and downed the morsel, chewing contentedly.

"You know, that was some mighty fine campfire cookin' you had going there. Where'd you learn to do that?"

She chewed her own piece, staring off thoughtfully and swallowed. "Learned pretty recently, actually. I'm actually better at it than I thought I'd be. Never done it before coming here to this horsey fairyland."

"Equestria, girl. Equestria. World usually goes by the name of Equus in the fandom."

"Tell me something," she said after swallowing a piece. "Is it just me or do these ponies have an unhealthy obsession with punny names. I've taken a look at some maps and atlases and basically every pony territory sounds like it was named by a prepubescent girl."

I chuckled. "Ya, them ponies sure like their play on words. But remember, kiddo, based off a little girl's show."

"And I still find that both ridiculous and easy to believe."

"I suppose it would be, to someone who's never been exposed to the fandom." Despite already partaking on a hearty chunk of roasted critter, my stomach rumbled yet again. Girl noted this with a wry smirk.

"Seconds?" She said and presented me with yet another tasty, juicy morsel.

"Don’t mind if I do," I quipped, trying my damnedest to not let my blushing cheeks show.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Jackie said, "You know, I'm actually surprised this turned out as good as it did. Didn't have much time to practice before coming here."

"Practice, huh? On what did you practice this exactly?"

"Chicken and a pig. First one didn't come out all that good. Pig was a lot better, though," she said offhandedly.

Whoa, what? Damn, this girl had some nerve. "And how did the ponies react when you killed an innocent life... hey, whoa," I held up my hands as she looked a bit miffed. "I mean, I like me some pork chops as much as the next girl, but killing a piggy in colorful horseyland... I can't imagine that went over well. It´s pretty much like good old Hannibal Lecter for us."

"Ponies? Hah!" She scoffed. "They weren't even aware it was me. Stupid little things have no security whatsoever. All I had to do was sneak in the middle of the night, grab one and scram before anyone could investigate."

I thought about this for a moment. "So I've been meaning to ask you. Where exactly were you staying during all this? With one of the Mane Six, maybe... oh, wait, you don't know who they are, do you?" She shook her head and I enlightened her as to who the show's heroines were. As I listed each and every one of them, Jackie's face morphed into an increasingly sour grimace. "I take it you know them?"

"Oh yeah, I know them," she said in a tone that booked no further argument, so I decided to change the subject.

"Well, we can't stay here forever. I think as soon as the blizzard dies down we should go and try to look for the nearest town or city. What do you say?"

"Oh, right! I forgot..." She stood up and headed on over to a pile of... stuff, I dunno. There were wooden boxes, burlap sacks, some bottles... alcohol? Oh, yes! Well, before I could call out for her to toss me one, she came back holding a piece of parchment as tall and wide as a small child. "I found this map, see? But I can't make heads or tails of it."

True enough, it was a map, scribbled in some weird language. It wasn't what you would call professionally made. There were scribbling in the margins and stains of what looked to be coffee. At least I hoped it was coffee. Still, it was better than nothing. Looked somehow like stuff smugglers would use.

"Hey, not bad squirt," I said, my spirits just a little bit higher than a moment ago. "Where did you get this?"

And just like that, her countenance spoke of uncertainty. "Well, I got it from some... I dunno, cow things."

"Cow things?"

"Well, yeah, you know. I mean, after we both crash landed I was looking all over for you and I did, I knew we had to get out of the snow as soon as possible. So I carried you for a while and found this cave, only... it wasn't exactly empty," she said, unconsciously wringing her hands.

"And what happened?"

"Like I said, those cow things. Really hairy and loud. There were three of them and I think they were bandits or something because their leader attacked me."

"And..." I asked, dreading the answer.

"I eighty six'd him, obviously. Then his lackeys went after me and I had to off them too and... what? Don't look at me like that, it was us or them."

Us or them. Yeah, I could get behind such thinking, but damn! This girl... she wasn't an adult yet. Just... damn.

And then, something hit me. A thought, a suspicion. Nothing more than that and yet, it hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.

"Jackie?"

"Hm?"

"Where did you get this meat?"

For a split second she froze before going back to chewing as if nothing was amiss. "What do you mean?" She asked in a forcibly casual tone.

I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, yet the sound that emanated from my throat was strained and void of humor. "Well, you certainly didn't find any meat out there in the snow. It came from somewhere and I don´t talk about the meat-blimp."

The girl now avoided looking at me, her chewing ceased and you could practically hear the gears on her head grinding against each other. "H-hey, why don't you eat some more? We need to get you better and back on your feet, huh?" She said more than a little quickly and a chill that had nothing to do with the cold suddenly shot up my spine.

She tentatively offered me another slice of meat, a look of uncertainty and uncertainty on her face. Something was wrong here and it was impossible to not smell the cow shit in the dark at this point. I stood up, not bothering to take the offered morsel.

"Where are you going? You shouldn’t be walking around right now, you know."

I did not answer. My legs seemed to be moving by their own will. From somewhere behind me I could make out a muffled curse, the pattering of feet and a hand clasped my arm.

"Look, let's just..."

I wrenched my arm from her and kept on walking. As I left the warmth of the fire and the smell of cooking meat, the stench in the air was replaced by something else. The chamber I woke up in seemed to be one of at least two in the cavern and as I left its confines and wandered further on, I came upon a grisly sight.

Three yaks, dead. And killed in the most gruesome way possible. The floor and stone walls were stained with buckets worth of blood, long since frozen. One of the yaks' stomach had burst from the inside, splattering everything around it with blood, organs and any other number of bodily fluids. Another one had its entire hindquarters severed from the rest of its body, a long metal something sticking up in the air from its shoulder blades, but it was the fate of the last yak that broke my composure.

It's head was severed, and its body void of skin and its bloody fur was propped atop a slab of stone, its belly gutted of any organs, its legs hacked off. A carcass, drawn and quartered and with some very noticeable chunks of meat and muscle missing from its frame.

The whole scene could have been straight from one of these shitty psycho-slasher movies Phil was so oddly fond of.

From the corner of my eye I saw a small shape sidle next to me. It was Jacqueline. She looked at me in guarded wariness, but there was nary a trace of regret or remorse on her features.

"Yeah, those guys," the girl said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Fucking assholes. Tried to kill me and all. Smelled, too. Obviously, they picked the wrong human to mess with. Hell, I even warned them to leave but they just charged at me and..."

My stomach churned and before I could help myself, I doubled over and puked up its contents.

"Aw! Watch it!" She cried out as my puke very nearly splattered against her feet.

"God fucking... damit Jaqueline! Rule one, rule number motherfucking one, NEVER eat the meat of someone who can beg you not to! That shit can give you this nasty nerve disease where you begin to shake uncontrollably and you can become addicted to boot." I wiped my mouth and backed of a bit from the... remains I just splattered all over the caves floor. "I mean, I devour souls on a regular basis, I absorb the very essence of life into me to create my Minions but this is plain nasty!"

If she was the least chastised she did not show it. She crossed her arms and stared at me defiantly. "Food's food. What does it matter to you?"

"Are you fucking daft, girl?! There's a difference between eating a little piggy and talking, sapient being!" I was this close to bitch slapping some sense into that brat.

The insolent girl had the gall to roll her eyes at me. "Oh, please, if I threw a rock in a random direction I'd probably hit a sapient bird or spider or bunny rabbit or something. Besides, what would you have me do? Roll over and let them kill the two of us?"

I winced, my whole body ached, but even that paled in comparison to the fury I now felt. "Goddamn it, brat, you could have done something different. If you had the power to kill them, you sure as hell could have restrained them or sent them packing. You... you... you didn't have to do this!"

She didn't look too impressed, though her cheeks steadily flushed. "Uh-huh. And if you and I had switched places, would you have done just that? Or would you do like me and kill them where they stood?" Jacqueline replied, nary a trace of regret on her features. "And what does it matter to you, anyway? Didn’t you say this world is based off of a little girls' show? It's all fictional! Who cares what you do, it's not like it matters." She stared at me, challenging to oppose her.

"OF COURSE IT MATTERS YOU INSIPID CUNT!" I suddenly found the strength to shoot up to my full height and to raise my voice to levels that would have probably cowed a charging dragon. "A butterfly's wingbeat on one side of the globe can lead to a devastating hurricane on the other and a falling bag rice can cause an earthquake. This is the fucking Multiverse, all of this might have been spawned when the kids show MLP was created but this here, THIS IS REAL! Every creature here is as real as you, living, breathing, not just some imaginary piece of entertainment. If the Predators someday would show up on earth, starting to do their thing, gutting you and your loved ones alive for trophies, would it not matter just because we thought them to be 'just fictional'? The moment your scrawny ass was dumped into this shit, it BECAME your reality! Everything you will do impacts your Universe in a way that can never be undone. Everything is finite. Do you understand?!?" I did not know when my hands had clenched around Jackie's shoulders but the moment my anger driven rant ended, I noticed just how tightly I had clenched them because a massive wave of pain rolled back into me. Regardless, in spite of the pain I did not let go.

I stared into her eyes, hoping, searching for a sign that my rant might have gotten through to her, even if just a smidge. Jackie's arm were still crossed, but as I laid into her cracks started to form and now, I could have sworn that even if it was for a split second, something akin to regret flashed in her features.

"Well, the Predators are not here, are they? I am and I can tell you right now, if some idiot sapient beast tries to kill me, I will defend myself with everything I have. If it's a choice between me or some random cartoon characters from an obscure show for little girls... I will always choose myself. Besides, it's not like I had much of a choice."

"Damn it, girl! Of course you have a choice!" My voice cracked, the pitch in my voice more than a little desperate as I shook her. "You... you didn't have to do this."

"You've killed before, haven't you?"

"What?" I whispered, my body frozen. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, not really. I had a suspicion and you just confirmed it." She studied my face evenly, a ponderous expression on her face. "If this universe of yours is anything like the one I came from, then I know for sure the ponies would never accept someone like you. Not someone with your looks, armor and I saw that monster mace you had strapped to your hip. Or are you really gonna try and bullshit something about how it's for self defense or the like? No, you've killed before. That much is obvious. And if you have, you know as well as I do that hindsight is 20/20. When those fuckers came at us I acted the only way I know how. Yes, I killed them and I would do it again. I'm good at killing things, I found."

I stared at her with horror, my eyes wide, mouth dry and unable to form words. But this didn't mollify the girl. If anything, it seemed to piss her off more than anything.

"You goddamn hypocrite," she hissed. "You're no better than me and you have the gall to try and lecture me? How many lives have you ended? How many creatures have you killed with nothing but your bare hands? You think eating souls is that much better than carving up a dumb animal? The only reason I made it this far is because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my life and freedom, so if you think you can come here with your holier-than-thou attitude and judge me like you're so much better, then you can go to hell. And your ideals too."

Without another word, she freed herself from my grasp and moved well into the cavern and out of sight.

I collapsed. Man, that took a lot from me. I did not regret going off on the girl. She had to learn. It was for the best. But then... I had a good feeling about Jackie, back the first few moments we met. She seemed like a good kid, so what could have possessed her to have such a callous attitude for other living things? Might or might not have been due to my injuries, I suspected to have suffered at least minor head trauma. I'd have to make sure and ask, but how to approach her?

Plus the little things Jackie said about me, being a hypocrite... well, no shit, those hurt nearly worse than actually dying and not only because Jackie had at least somehow been right...

Whatever my plans were, they would have to wait for another time. All that exertion had taken its toll on me, and the incoming haze of sleep proved impossible to shake off. I could only hope the girl would still be there when I woke up.

Don´t know how long I was away in my surprisingly dreamless slumber but with a shit-ton of relief, I carefully stretched after waking up again. Almost immediately pain greeted me, shooting through every nerve in my body, thankfully not with the intensity of a raging bull but still like a mob of pissed off Yorkie dogs. Looking around I failed to find Jackie but the fact that the fire was still burning gave me at least a smidgen of hope that she was still around.

Hissing through clenched teeth, I stood up. Right now, I would have committed cold-blooded murder for a Med-Kit or a Healing Potion. As the stars blinked out of my eyes I noticed for the first time in front of me was a small bag... a sack, laid at my feet.

Food was inside it. Dried hunks of some sort of vegetables and fruits. A peace offering maybe? Either way, I downed the whole thing. Didn't taste good, exactly, but my body was still in sore need of nourishment.

Now, where exactly did that girl get off to?

"Hey, girl. You there?" My voice was raspy and harsh. Damn, I needed some water.

A quick once over revealed no other life forms in the area. The pain that flared throughout my body had thankfully reduced to a dull ache. Gotta love that Overlord endurance.

Well, I still needed to see whether the girl was still in the vicinity. I was... pretty sure she was still around. Then again, I did go pretty hard on her.

I tried the alternative passageway, the one away from that... ugh, kill room and but did not get very far. The storm was still well and howling outside, blowing enough cold air to freeze a moose solid in seconds. Nope, nope, nope.

Did she venture out again? Tough kid, considering she didn't wear much in the way of protection. In the end, I went back to the campfire, rummaged through the yaks' belongings and found some water, more dried foods and eventually, after waiting a while, Jackie herself eventually stumbled upon. She still wore that blanket, encrusted in snow and upon seeing me, she froze.

"Come here, girl," I said, mindful to keep any hostility from my voice. "Let's get you warm." I tried offering a small smile while replicating Jackie's own words, though I'm pretty sure it came out tired more than anything.

Jackie cocked her head, surprise evident in her eyes. She dropped the snow covered blanket and slowly ambled forward, hesitation coloring her every step. Truth be told, I was feeling a bit too tired to get angry. Rage and anger's not really me, much less so when I'm not feeling like it. Instead, I opted for a different approach. I met lil´ Jackie halfway, pulling her in a hug while channeling as much of my 'older sibling' vibes as I could.

"H-hey... what are you..." Her body tensed and she squirmed, trying to get away, but I kept my hold on her.

"Sorry that I had blown up in your face like that Hon. I get a bit cranky when I am in horrendous, soul wrecking pain."

She sighed, a muffled sound as I kinda had her face pressed to me. "I told you, I was sorry for that," she said, indeed sounding regretful.

"Yeah, that you did, kid," I tried to chuckle, but my ribs were still kinda banged up, and instead, a pained wheeze came out my lips. "Ow... come on. Let's... let's go sit down or whatever. I think standing up's literally killing me," I said jokingly. She didn't laugh.

I could tell she did not fully know what to make of my turn about. Still, she helped get me back to the fire.

"Hey, where you going? Come back here." Silly girl. She tried to sit somewhere away from me. I opened the blanket, signifying her to come in, which she grudgingly did so. I in turn wasted no time putting my arm around her and pulled her close. Well as much as I could without pressing her against my ribs. "See now, that's better. Cozy and warm, eh?"

"Sure." She shrugged and got herself comfortable on the smelly blanket.

"Speaking of... all of this stuff, the blankets, food, water and all, that was all the yaks', wasn't it?"

A terse nod followed.

"Look, squirt," I sighed and licked my lips, not fully knowing how to proceed. I was a very 'direct and to the point' type of girl and didn't usually like to skirt around things, but it had to be done. "What you did to those yaks... that wasn't good. You shouldn't have done that, no matter what they planned to do to you."

Already she was gearing up to protest, but I held up a hand placatingly. "Hey now, please, just let me say my piece, okay?"

"Fine," she sulked and withdrew into herself.

"Jackie... I like you. You seem like a nice kid. Whatever your reasons were for doing what you did... can I assume it was because of whatever happened in your own universe?" After a moment of hesitation, she confirmed my thoughts and nodded. "Okay. I don't know what happened, but whatever it was, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through it and that it caused you to... do that to the yaks. But squirt, I don't mean to sound authoritarian or something, but you oughta know that there's some things you just shouldn't do. Whatever your viewpoint was coming here, about this world and the creatures that inhabit it, they deserve the same amount of respect as you would have for a fellow human. I know that I am not one to talk, seeing as I admittedly took a couple of life's myself but even than, it never became something that got easier over time. Trust me, once it starts getting easier, you are on a one way trip down to a very, VERY dark place and I would hate to someday meet you there."

Now that got a reaction from her. She craned her head to look at me as if I'd just told her that Unicorns are real... well, provided we were still back on Earth, at least.

"They're not human." she said firmly.

"Well, yeah, but still. How would you feel if some aliens showed up all of a sudden and decided they liked to eat people?"

"It's not... ugh," she groaned. "Alright, I guess I can see what you're trying to say, but I can't just up and consider them people. It doesn't work like that!"

"So work at it," I said simply. She looked up at me questioningly. "Since you're being a good sport, I'll admit that not everybody can just put a bunch of colorful cartoon creatures on the same standing as people, but Jackie," I paused, taking a second to mull over my next words. "You're not going home anytime soon. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. For better or worse, you're gonna be here a while. If not in my universe, then the one I pulled you from and whatever it was that happened... at some point you're going to have to learn to trust and live alongside the creatures who live here, because if you think that it's acceptable to do what you did to those yaks then... you're not going to be happy, and your life will become so much harder. Is that something you want?"

"...No."

In spite of myself, I couldn't help but pet her messy mop of hair. "Well, give it a try. Trust me, not all of the ponies are all bad."

She mumbled something, too low for me to hear.

"What's that?"

"I'm not sure how to do that. The ponies I know... well, I've pretty much done everything in my power to make them miserable."

"Let me guess, the Mane Six?" She nodded and I sighed. "Yeah... I do so love them little ponies but they can be hard to get along with. Well, from what other universes I've heard about, it seems. But I can tell you this much, squirt. Ponies are creatures of harmony. Most of them, anyway. I'm sure that if you take a step forward and do what you can to mend things between them, they're bound to accept you sooner or later. It's in their nature."

"That's... way harder than you make it sound."

"Baby steps, girl. Baby steps. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, after all. So long as you get there, that is all that matters. And who knows, if you give the little ponies a chance, you might just find that you like them in turn."

"Yeah. Maybe..."

She shuffled closer to me. I could feel her shoulder just barely brush against mine and she tightening her hold on her share of the blanket and doing her best to bury herself beneath it.

"Well, I don't know about you," I said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "But I could go for a drink right now."

"A drink?"

"Any kind of alcohol, really. Gets you warmed up all nice. That's hit the spot."

"Hmm." She drew out a hand from underneath the blanket and 'force pulled' a bottle of... wouldn't you know it, honey mead right from the yaks' belongings.

A weak yet hearty chuckle came up in me as I took the unmistakable bottle and opened it, the heavy and rich smell of fermented honey blasting into my nose. "Wohohoo, praise fucking Odin, I would recognize this stuff everywhere. Honey mead, nectar of the Norse Gods!"

After nearly dropping the damn bottle because another wave of pain shot through my arm, I brought the bottle to my lips and let the smooth alcohol flow into my mouth and straight down my throat. The effect was instantaneous as warmth began to flood my cheeks and radiate in my stomach.

A long, blissful sigh escaped my lips. "Now that´s the stuff. That´s mead!" I gave another of my patented and ice breaking impersonations that usually went over everyone's heads. Then, my glance fell on Jackie. She had retreated back into Blanket Town, not really leaning onto me but not trying to worm her way out either. So far so good, now how to proceed? Ah! I held to bottle out to Jacqueline, after whipping every residue I might have left of. "Hey, how about you take a sip too? Tastes really good and gives you the warm fuzzies too. Not that I would encourage underage drinking but fuck the rules. Let´s call this New Year."

I held the bottle out to her. She looked from me to the thing and back again and shrugged. "Sure, why not," and took a sip. She swirled the beverage in her mouth before swallowing, a sour look on her face.

"Hey now, don't be telling me any of that 'it tastes bad' tripe. This is mead, girl, not some fruity French wine. You don't savor it, you guzzle it and taste it with the throat. That's the way to do it. Go on, give it another try."

It looked like she wanted to protest against this, but whether it was latent pity for me or whatever, she gave it another go, guzzling down a hearty amount and almost immediately, she almost choked on it. I patted her on the back for a job well done until she recovered and asked. "How was it?"

A number of little coughs still wracked her body and her eyes watered. Still, she answered, "Not... not that bad, really."

"Atta girl." I smiled, taking the bottle back for another swig. "You know, I just wondered where these Yaks got the honey for their booze. Bees don´t live in snowy regions. Hmm, maybe there´s a city closer by than we thought? Anyways..." I let my rambling linger a bit, just listening to the crackling of the fire and Jackie´s and my own breathing.

"There... hic... there is a place close to here. I saw it."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's why I went out. The yaks marked some landmarks close to here and I used those to kinda get around. There's a city like... I dunno, ten miles away from here?"

My body was already in the throes of a pleasant buzz. Still, it wasn't enough to dredge up a bit of concern in me. "Thirty miles... yeah, us Europeans use the metric system, but isn't ten miles like, a lot?"

"Yeah," she said. "But... how are we gonna get you there, I mean..."

I scoffed. "Girl, don't you worry about that. Just tell me, can we make the trip? I got an crazy idea already that should get us into walking distance. There is a lot of snow out there, so going by foot is more or less suicide and I don´t feel like dying. Again. So my plan is that we do it like the Inuit and travel by sleigh. Only thing we need is to throw together said sleigh, I provide us with the much needed MS." After receiving a confused blink from Jaqueline I added a very helpful 'Minion Strengths'.

"Minion Strengths?"

"'Course, girl. Don't you remember? I'm basically a gender bent Overlord and with that comes the very handy ability to summon murderous little kobolds who will happily carry out my every whim."

"...Right."

"Now, in an ideal setting we would have access to some sled dogs or maybe even reindeer, but seeing how we're in short supply, my Minions will provide the necessary, uh, Minion-power to get us through the snow and close enough to the city you saw. "

"There's still a problem. We don't have a sleigh."

"So we'll throw one together," I said dismissively. "I have read enough survival guides to know that for a basic model, we only need some wood or bone for the frame, something to tie shit together and pelts or skins or canvas to span it over the frame. And seeing as we are sitting in a nifty little bandit's hole, we should barely have enough mats for one or two tries."

"Right," she drawled. "Are you a carpenter or engineer too? Because I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Stop being so negative, girl!" I did rather poorly in keeping my frustration down. "Sheesh, even Wednesday Adams looks like a little Miss Sunshine next to you. No offense. And no, I am not but I worked with enough wood to know the basics and a frame is not that hard to make and if push comes to shove, we just let the Minions build the thing. I mean, they built most of the stuff for my Tower... on a second thought, I´d say we just let the Minions build the sleigh right away to prevent waste of material and time." I looked around, groaning in frustration as all the Ley Lines I could spy where to small to spawn a Minion Portal. "Now all I need is a good spot in the Ley Lines to call my little helpers... come on..." I made to stand up, eager to carry out my scheme and get out of this frozen pit. Of course, I momentarily forgot I was still pretty banged up after that little meteor impression the other day.

Ok, so our plan would have to wait a bit. In the meantime, my new friend spent the time getting ready to head out. Girl insisted I rest and take it easy, for come next day, I would have the strength needed to endure the harsh winter conditions.

Snow was melted down for water, foodstuffs were rationed, packed and double checked. Heck, girl even managed to turn those funky smelling blankets into pseudo coats, basically cutting openings in the waist and necklines so that at least it clung, however loosely, to our bodies.

And of course, what food the yaks did have now ran out. I... might be to blame for that. In using my Mana flow to accelerate my body's healing process I needed quite a bit of calories and energy, not to mention my body already churning like crazy through them due to the cold. Jackie set out into the snow and came back a few hours later with a lump draped atop her shoulder. It was after she came into view and let the bulge drop that I realized it was a freaking seal!

But before I could make any objections known, the girl quickly assured me it was a normal animal and in no way sapient. When I asked she said that in order to confirm, she, quote 'smacked it around a little' and when it didn't talk she was satisfied enough that it would serve as a food source. And, well, we did kind of need it, or else risk death. A-and it did taste pretty good I had admit. Still... I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty but mostly because I was a enormous sucker for cute, little baby seals.

In any case, we hung out, we ate and chatted about random topics and sure enough, I healed and gathered enough strength to make our little trip in earnest. Also, I managed to gather enough snippets about Jackie's weird ass magic powers to come to an not unimportant part of our plan.

Disguises.

Seeing as there was a sum on my head, I could not nilly willy waltz into a settlement and now less then ever with an undisguised Jackie in tow. Heavens and Hell might know what that girl might do when someone tried to get the bounty on my head with her caught in the crossfire.

Nope, time to practice Overlord Rule number eleven 'Deception can sometimes wield greater results than running headfirst into a problem. And even than, Violence is always a viable second option.'

"Sooo Jackie, I´ve been thinking," I started while watching her bundle up the last parts of our traveling rations "And I might have encountered a wee lil´ problem. See, due to some unsavory cultural discrepancies, it is not wise for me to show my handsome face to Ponies. Or anyone who could be a Bounty Hunter. Thing is, once we are to enter the city, I will use a spell to alter my form into that of a midget candy horse but I would be willing to bet my favorite panties that you can't do something similar, which would leave us in quite the conundrum."

"So, what, you want to turn me into one of them?"

"We do need to blend in, ya know?" I said, trying to be rational. "Or would you rather every pony from here to Los Pegasus know there's a human girl running around? Besides, it would not be me to 'turn' you into a pony, it would be you for I would teach you the spell."

She sighed, head hung in resignation. "Fine, turn me if you must. Not like I haven't done it before."

I blinked in surprise. "Oh, you have? Turn into a pony, I mean? How was it?"

"It was great," she said mockingly. "I hung out with Twilight and Rarity, ate some grub, went for a spa session... and oh yeah, some muscle headed Neanderthal nearly split me in half. All fun," she finished with a snarl. I chuckled uneasily. At some point I probably should ask just why it is that she seems to harbor such animosity for cute, fluffy little ponies. But that will have to wait for later. Good as it might be to know, getting out of this icebox took precedence.

"Well, this spell I'm gonna teach you is rather basic, an Illusion not unlike those Ninja techniques from Naruto, you know? All you have to do is to concentrate on your Mana and will it to coat your whole body or at least the parts you wish to mask. The feeling should be like a warm and toasty blanket encompassing you. If you feel that, you can proceed to form the disguise. You need to envision what you want to look like, the more details you get down on the first try the better. Envision how you want to look, how your voice should sound, the sounds of your steps, how you want to feel... fuck, even how you want to smell or taste. You can change some details to the spell later but it is more difficult. If you have all this down, let the spell go and it should create the Illusion for you but it can only work with what is there, meaning you can for example look like a guy but no matter how good you are, you will miss a very important piece of anatomy that will just stay a intangible phantasm. This spell is really useful and you can create dozens of disguises with it. But I have to warn you though, the first few uses can be rather taxing but from what I felt when I tried to prevent the Multiverse from going kablooey, your Mana reserves are way, waaaaay larger than mine so you should be fine." I did my best to explain the important bits of the spell to Jackie. "Did you understood that so far?"

"Sure. Let's get this over with."

I did what I could to help the girl. Turns out, she's not all that bad at magic. Of course, this ponification did not go smoothly right away. The first four times or so she did a passable imitation of being constipated as she tried to get the illusion to take place, basically the magical equivalent of using a rocket powered sledgehammer when instead she should have gone for the hammer and chisel. After correcting her, progress was made. She managed to turn her hands into hooves and her head turned into an admittedly creepy hybrid of pony and human. Good thing we didn't have any mirrors or anything of the like, for the girl would have surely freaked out. Anyway, fast forward a couple of hours later and in front of me stood a white unicorn pony with a black mane. An almost perfect transformation, save that her ears were still those of a human. Oh, well, good enough.

We were as prepared as could be now and so I donned my armor, we strapped on the cloaks and set out to find a suitable ley line in which to summon my Minions.

At this point I made the mental note to offer a generous sacrifice to whoever invented the whole mechanic behind my Ley-o-Vision, for one could have thought that a blanket of snow deep enough to reach up to half of my calves would be enough to hide something as delicate as a magical flow of universal life energy but no siree, it was shining bright and easily visible. At least to me.

After we hiked a good bit, I finally managed to spot what I was looking for. Not wasting any more time, seeing as my toes had stopped complaining over the cold already, I raised my hand and with a bit more force than necessary opened a portal for my Browns, resulting in a geyser-like eruption of snow and ten happily gibbering kobolds.

"Jackie, my Minions. Minions, say Hi to Jaqueline. She´s a new friend, no food." I introduced my loyal, little mavens of mayhem to my newest human friend, who stared at the kobolds with interest. The Minions on their part gave their usual, enthusiastic and incomprehensible greetings.

"Now fellas, I need you build a sleigh big enough to carry me and Jackie here. Materials are in a cave nearby and after you are done with that, you ten will get to play in the snow for a bit."

Without waiting for the given confirmation, I turned back to the cave with Jackie in tow, my Minions being themselves, bounding through the snow with absolute glee despite being decked in their heavy armor and wielding their various weapons.

Back in the cave, I let go a internal sigh of relief as the Minions immediately went to work, gathering materials from everywhere to do my biding. Would I not have known better, I would have felt tempted to compare my murderous little monsters with the Brownies from folklore.

Capable as they were with murder, pillaging and mayhem, the kobolds could now place carpenter on their resume, for they made good use of whatever wood lay around the cave. Crates, barrels and what looked like it might have been a cart at one point were broken down and repurposed as the sleigh slowly took form. It was all going smoothly until one of the elves... ah, I mean Minions, wandered about to search for more materials and yelled out 'Food!' This prompted the rest of the Minions to abandon their duties as they went over to investigate and to my horror, after following them, they were indeed making a feast of the slain yaks, happily tearing chucks of meat with nothing more than their claws and brute force and stuffing themselves silly.

Fighting through the nausea, I clapped my hands and bid them to get back to work under perjury of gruesome death. Damn it, I couldn't even get too angry at them, for this kind of behavior, I realized somberly, was simply part of their nature.

Things progressed from there and my Minions completed the mismatched sleigh, proudly standing around their contraption. Hell, somehow they even managed to give that thing carvings to decorate it and a crudely fashioned Minion face was grinning the usual insane grin as some kind of figurehead.

Respect were it was due. "Alright, time to get out of this Ninth Circle for the poor, Minions, strap up! And Jackie, take a seat." I commanded and sat down on the sleigh myself. Again I came to realize that my Minions did a swell job as they somehow cobbled little, cushioned seats together which where frankly a delight after sitting on hard stone for a while.

As she made to comply to my request, she suddenly gave a yelp and her hand shot to the back of her collar.

"Everything okay squirt?"

Fishing something out of her shirt Jackie gave a annoyed grunt "Just a piece of ice. Must have fallen down from the ceiling or something. Hate when something like this happens."

Flicking the offending piece of frozen water away, Jackie grumbled a bit more and went over to the sleigh and not a second later, a icicle easily as big as one of my legs on the ceiling became loose and with the sound of a whole house worth of breaking glass, came crashing down just where my grumpy friend had stood not a moment earlier.

I for my part was sure my heart stood still as I had all the Final Destination flashbacks but thankfully Jackie just shrugged in a 'Oh wow, that sure was close or whatever' manner, seemingly not phased in the slightest.

Jackie went to sit behind me but I made sure to have her in front of me if I could not have her next to me. I had to more or less coerce her to sit there, like a little child would between the outstretched legs of a parent or a older sibling just before they would zip down a hill on a bob. The fact that she grumbled something under her breath made it even more fitting.

Seeing as the Minions had all strapped themselves in harnesses, I scooted a bit closer to Jackie after I secured a slightly musty scarf around my face and put my arms around her, to which she only mildly protested, much to my surprise.

"Alright Minions, mush!" I commanded and the wacky ride began.

For the fact that the snow was nearly as high as the Minions were tall, the little guys made ground impressively, combining their seemingly endless energy for one single goal, namely getting their Ruler to the next city in record time.

I admit, it was a bit frightening and at the same time intriguing to see. Ideas and plans came nearly automatically to my mind as I let my eyes wander over the white in white landscape, powdery snow swirling up around the sleigh.

If ten Minions were capable of effortlessly pulling a two person sleigh through deep snow, what would twenty Browns be able to do? Or thirty? Fifty? One hundred? I may just have to test this out at some point.

Regardless, the weather was as good as could be. The blizzard had long since died down and the clouds parted to reveal a silvery sun on the horizon. My Minions mushed, untired and unrelenting and as we traversed the all encompassing blanket of white, I was eventually able to spot in the distance some very distinct shapes. Buildings and houses and more than a few flickering lights of orange signifying a fire.

Grinning broadly, I took the Minions' reigns and hollered at the raving kobolds to 'giddy on up', the Minions happily complying as the city grew closer and closer.

Feeling the warm sensation of mirth rising up in my chest again, caused by the lovely little sleigh trip that so reminded me of my childhood I let out a long and hearty laugh, doing my best impression to sound like jolly old Nick but judging from the way Jackie turned her head to look at me, I would be willing to say all I managed to do was an, at best lacking, impersonation of the Grinch.

But before I was able to say something, anything really, things went downhill.

Literally.

Guess in their boundless enthusiasm (at one point they even started to sing what I only presumed to be a version of 'Rudolf the red nosed Reindeer'), my Minions had managed to overlook a pretty big dip in the landscape and the realization only hit them as at least seven of them were already sailing through the crisp air with loud exclamations of inane joy.

I for my part, well, I opted for an all time classic, screaming "Ohhh shiiiiiiiiii~" on top of my lungs while I tightened my grip on Jackie, who cursed audibly as she too fell prey to gravity.

Luckily, our fall was cut short but that changed nothing about the fact that mid-fall, Jackie and I were thrown out of the sleight, left to sail face first into the cold but thankfully soft snow below.

Cold white encompassed me as I flailed around in order to free myself out of the snow, looking without a doubt like a picture for the gods themselves while doing so.

Finally managing to emerge victorious from my struggle with the frozen fluff, I looked at the crash site.

The sleigh was sticking out of the snow nearly vertical, our supplies lay scattered around and my Minions were sticking out of the snow in various ankles, some buried face down to their hips, with their feet flailing in the air while other stamped neat cut-outs in the snow, only the tips of their ears showing where they came down and yet some others somehow had managed to turn a nearby pile of snow into a Minion pin-cushion, with their bodies as pins. All in all, it looked hilariously, making me nearly forget that I almost pissed myself a moment ago.

"Well, that's one way to stop," I muttered to myself.

"You idiot. You could have killed us!" Jackie's voice hissed from somewhere behind me. Yup, there she was, frantically trying to swat away the snow that covered pretty much all of her.

"Relax, girl," I said offhandedly. "I got us this far, didn't I? And look, there's the city you saw on that there map, now let's get on up and move. I dunno about you, but I could go for a hot drink and a warm bed right about now."

Her expression softened somewhat at the prospect, though she still kept on giving me the stink eye. Finding a nearby ley line, I opened the portal and sent my Minions back, with instructions to relay to Onyx and Gnarl that I was still alive and whole and would probably need a couple of more days until I could gather enough strength to 'port back to the tower.

"A'right, Jackie, ready to experience high life as a pony?" I said and clapped my hands cheerfully. Calling to the Mana reserves within me, the illusion spell took hold until I was well and truly ponified. The brat still stood there, but a pointed look on my part got her ass going and soon enough, she too transformed into a pony.

"See now, there's more like it. Are you ready to go?" She nodded and so on we went, towards the settlement that would provide a safe haven from the elements. And preferably booze and a warm bed.

But most importantly, booze.

Author's Note

Wowie, that chapter sure was something huh?

Umbra kicked the idiot-ball like a pro, Jackie demonstrated that she is easily the more mature one of the dynamic duo, a rather unsavory massacre on poultry, ehrm, yaks with a following BBQ Lecter style.

Tune in next time again when The Overlady and The heartless Renegade make their way into the ~~windy~~ snowy city. What trials will they face? Whose lifes will they ruin? Will anybeing notice the flaw in Jackie´s disguise? Will I ever shut the fuck up? Propably not but still, tune in next time esteemed readers. Same place, same space.

17. A Great and Powerful Act

-17. A Great and Powerful Act-

"Hey, Umbra?"

"Hm?"

"What exactly is the plan here?"

"Plan? For what?"

"I dunno. Something. What are we supposed to do?"

"Hmm. I hadn't really thought about it. Just take it easy, I guess," I replied in an offhanded manner. Jacqueline scowled. I don't think she was all that impressed by my proposed plan... or lack thereof. "I mean, hey, I like a plan as much as the next girl, but all things considered, I'm still not feeling a hundred percent. I told ya, squirt, my Mana reserves need to recharge before I can 'port us back to my tower. For that, all we need to do is take it easy, rest and just... I dunno, find a way to spend the time."

Girl still didn't look all that sold, but she conceded and followed suit. Luckily, no one had paid us no never mind when we entered the snowy city which, if a signpost at one of the roads leading to it was true, was called Yule.

Strangest thing. No sooner did my ponyfied friend and I entered its limits that the all encompassing harsh cold receded. Not so much that we could no longer feel it, but enough that walking around in the open became considerably more tolerable. Must be due to some sort of field encompassing the city, protecting it from the elements. Maybe not on as effective or refined a scale as the love shield of the Crystal Empire, but it sure did the trick.

And to my pleasant surprise, Yule was a very developed city, along the levels of Manehattan in the show. No little remote village or outpost here filled with unfriendly hermit ponies, no siree, Yule's status as a full fledged city stood evident everywhere we looked. Even better, due to the constant snowy weather, the houses here were built with slanted roofs, in a style strikingly similar to our little settlements in the German countryside, lending it an especially homey feel to the place.

The locals were friendly, and more than one stallion took off his hat in passing greetings to us, which I cheerfully returned in kind. Griffins were here too. More than I expected to see, that's to be sure. If I had to guess, I'd say there was one griffin for every four ponies and they too were more or less pleasant and I spotted a few eyeing Jackie and I with curiosity. Must be that we were still dragging around those smelly blanket things, because unlike most of what we'd seen on the show, a large majority of the ponies and griffins here actually did go around in clothing. Winter wear such as scarves, booties, earmuffs, beanies, sweaters, snow pants, those funny looking Russian hats and many more. In contrast, I guess we kinda sorta looked like bums. Or hobos. Or bum-hobos. We'd have to rectify that.

Closer to the downtown area the little houses and the mom-and-pop shops gave way to industrialization. Skyscrapers clustered together in a ten block radius, with lesser buildings interspersed among them.

And... hell, it seemed we arrived while the city was in the middle of a celebration of some sort. It was... lively, for the lack of better words. Wherever one looked, there was activity of some sorts. The first thing I noticed was the sheer diversity of the little stands, booths and whatever you wanted to call this little spots where a business savvy pony, griffin and even the odd yak had set up shop with just a blanket between four posts to serve as a roof and a table or crate to present whatever they wanted to sell.

I spied a little particular stand that sold more or less fashionable winter wear and I bought a set for Jackie and I, ducked under one of the stores that were still open, changed into our new outfits and happily discarded those old, ugly brown blankets. Now we could more or less blend in with the locals.

For myself, I chose a snuggly scarf in a muted blue with little, white dots that should probably resemble constellations, one of those beanies with those funny ear flap things (even though they were kinda redundant on a pony since the beanie had extra sheaths for the ears and equine ears where nowhere near those flaps intended for human ears) in a dark green with decorative white zig-zag lines, one of these armless pony jackets things in sand color and four booties in the same color as my scarf. I liked my stuff simple and quick, never was fond of those things considered 'girly'. No wonder everyone in school called me a butch or a bull dyke back in the day. That I broke their noses when I caught them saying it behind my back probably did not help at all, but hey, I was young and did not knew better.

Choosing little Jackie's clothes however, that posed its own set of problems. I mean... girl was cute as a pony, and I mean cute. Man, I really couldn't help but want to stuff her into equally cutesy outfits and when I did... well, she kinda threw a tantrum and I had to duck under an outfit that could only be described as a Victorian Loli outfit that consisted of so many lace that it was more a costume than actual winter wear, an outfit that just screamed Rockabilly, some outfit that looked like the pony variant of a sailor uniform for the cold season, including long socks to keep the legs warm and the odd chair turned projectile to avoid bodily harm. Mostly from the chair though. In the end I managed to, more or less, convince her into wearing one of those weird saddles that where more plush and fleece than anything called a saddle should ever have the right to, in a decent salmon (I still called it pink just for the hell of it) with cute white fluff lining the edges, matching booties in salmon/pink and white fluff and a pair of adorable ear muffs that looked like Parasprites, the one on the right in yellow and the other on the left in bright red. They even had little wings made of some kind of glossy material. In short, Jaqueline looked plum adorable, even while gnashing her teeth, shooting daggers at me and mumbling dead threats under her breath. The bright blush coloring cheeks whenever a stallion and the odd mare gushed over how cute she looked rendered all her hostility null and void tough.

Ahh, the vendors. First and foremost you had of course the knick-knack sellers. Can´t have a festival without at least one dozen vendors trying to sell you little porcelain pugs, decorative mugs with portraits of historical figures and modern celebs or whatever little, dust catching trinket ones heart could hunger for.

The second biggest group on these kind of shindigs where of course consisting of food sellers.

Oh Lords and Ladies above, the food sellers!

We had not made it five steps onto the festival grounds as my nose was mercilessly assaulted and annihilated by a plethora of mouthwatering smells. I spied a griffin behind a some sort of grill, cooking what looked like Shish Kebobs (with real meats!) next to a surprisingly unbothered looking earth pony that was selling some kind of deep fried dough goodies.

A short stop and a few bits later I was quite ferociously tearing through half a dozen what the vendor called 'original Stalliongrad Beignets'. Seriously, these things where divine, golden brown and crunchy on the outside, warm and soft on the inside with just a hint of vanilla and something else I could not name. I think I moaned through the whole eating process if the weird looks we got where anything to go by.

Also, there were quite a few vendors selling all kinds of hot drinks, ranging from tea and cocoa to the seemingly Multiversal known hot spiced wine. Phil would have loved this, guy always went for those stands first, much to Vivi´s frustration. Girl never could stand the smell.

"So, not that I'm not enjoying this," the flushed pony girl said as she munched on a still warm donut the size of her head, frosting smeared across her mouth and booties. "But should you really be spending so much money? We still need a place to spend the night."

I held up a hoof and focused on guzzling down my second helping of spiced wine. "Ahh, that hit the spot." After wiping my mouth and discarding the cup, I returned my attention my increasingly impatient looking compatriot. "Don'tcha worry your cute little head, girl," I said and patted said noggin. Her scowl deepened. "I always carry around a little extra dough, just in case and with the gold we liberated from the yaks, we should be all set for the next couple of days."

"Yeah, that's a relief to hear. Now how much gold do you have left?" She insisted.

I sighed and moved to check my purse, if only to stop her harping. I'd hoped she would at least lively up a little at whatever celebration took place in the city, but she still seemed somehow on edge. "Alright, so after our outfits, some delicious food and that kickass wine, we should be at around, uh..." I trailed off as I rummaged through my pocket for the little bag of cash. "Huh, I know I put it here somewhere," I mumbled and checked my remaining pockets. "Oh crapbaskets..."

I looked back to Jackie, who at this point looked like someone who was sucking on a lemon. The mother of all lemons.

"It´s gone isn´t it?" She asked me in a flat monotone that would have made Maud Pie sound like Pinkie hoped on a truckload of sugar in comparison.

"Ehrm... no?" I gave a sheepish smile and was this close to just empty my pocket out just to find my money pouch. "Come on you little bastard, I know you are in there, stop hiding!" I grumped half loud and continued my rummaging but to no avail. My pouch was gone and where it once was, there was a nearly unnoticeable slit in the material of my jacket.

I just got pickpocketed.

The flat look on Jackie's face nearly inversed her face in it´s sheer intensity and she looked like a soccer mom ready to tear into something that had managed to trigger her divine rage.

"Eh he he... whoops?" Was all I could offer, my ears folding back in embarrassment.

Jaqueline let out a snort and scuffed the ground with her right front hoof, keeping her aim straight at me.

"Now girl, let´s not be hasty okay? Getting pickpocketed could happen to anyone. Not my fault." I tried to defuse the situation, my body deciding for me that it would be wise to be ready for a hasty retreat. Sure, I had more mass than Jackie, even in pony form but righteous fury was one hell of a boost and I could only imagine what that Chaos juju in Jackie would do one it reached its boiling point, which could be anywhere between sub zero and core of the sun.

"Not your fault? Not your fault? You're a grown woman, for Chrissakes! How could you be so irresponsible?"

"Hey now, that's not fair. You can't expect me to know when a wily pickpocket will come around."

"I said we should have just stayed out of the way. I wanted to lay low and stay as far away from these ponies as possible, but nooo. We just had to go and assimilate into pony culture. Well I hope you're happy!"

"Come on, Jackie, it's not that bad. This is a city. There's money everywhere. We just have to get our mitts on some of it," I said more than a little desperately. To my surprise, she actually took on a thoughtful expression, her anger taking a backseat.

"What, you mean steal it?"

"Well, that's always plan X. If anything goes south."

"Sure, I could get down with that."

"...What?"

"I... kinda had to steal a lot when I first got here. Well, to the other Equestria, I mean. Got pretty good at it, too."

"Sooner or later, we really should just sit down and have a nice, long talk," I mumbled under my breath and rubbed my mug with a hoof. "But before we resort to thievery, we should at least try to get some cash the non-criminal way."

"So, what, part time at a burger joint, or whatever it is these ponies have? That'll take forever. We need gold and we need it now."

"Well, I could always stand under the next lamp post and do it like the girls in St. Pauli but I am seriously not in the mood to let any greasy stallion put one away with me. Also, I highly doubt Zinnia would ever let me live that down. At least not when she could not be part of it." I mused more to myself, not fully noticing Jackie´s reaction. "Plus I don´t know the rates here in Equestria, so I would probably undercharge." Then I continued, addressing my companion properly "Come one, think logical. From all we have seen so far, from all we... that is I, know, this world is a mix of modern and medieval and what do we know about medieval hoedowns? There were always ways to make quick money, like, dunno, little game stands or something along these lines?"

"Do they even have those here?"

"Of course they do!" Well, I hope so, at least. "We just gotta go and look," I said cheerfully, not that it had much effect on her.

"I still say we should just lift whatever we can, it wouldn't even be that hard. Hell, with this disguise spell you showed me I bet we could even..." She stopped mid-rant, mouth opened soundlessly and a dawning look of realization spread over her face.

"Uh... Jackie?" I poked her shoulder after five seconds of her impersonating a dying fish.

Her head snapped at me and I swear I could practically hear the gears grinding in her head as her little noggin hatched no doubt devious, unsavory schemes. As if to further emphasize this point, a near-Joker smile stretched over her face.

"Am I gonna like what you're about to say?" I asked warily.

"Probably not."

I sighed. "Okay, shoot."

"You. Me. Dress up as the princesses and bilk the nearest bank out of their loot," she said with a fierce smile.

That... that's actually not an entirely crappy idea, and this must have shown up in my face as Jackie prodded further.

"It's perfect, don’t you see? We can disguise ourselves as Celestia and Luna, go in, throw down some princess authority and make off with whatever we can carry. It's brilliant." She descended into a fit of small, low chuckles, deviously rubbing her little hooves together.

I admit, I was more than a little tempted to take her up on her offer, if nothing more for the opportunity to relive some childhood fantasies with Phil and I making off like bandits. Hey, this might actually work and...

"Whoa, whoa, hold your metaphorical horses, girl," I urged as Jackie now started literally vibrating from excitement.

"What now?" She said, annoyed.

"You really think it'll be that easy? What if the bank manager or whatever need like... I dunno, a password from the princesses to know it's for real or some sort of documents. Complications like these could give us away."

She waved a hoof impatiently. "So we threaten to have them executed or thrown to the dungeons or something. Hell, I could do the talking if you're squeamish about it. So long as flex some muscle and authority, we can steal whatever we can and disappear before anyone knows what hit them. We can literally be any pony we want! It's a perfect plan."

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Jackie... no. Just no. It's a good plan, I'll admit that much but we can't go around robbing banks. That kind of stuff tends to paint a big, honking target on your back and that's the last thing either of us needs right now."

"Oh for... have you forgotten the part where we can look like whoever we want? Long as we take some precautions we'll never be found."

"No is no, girl, and that's final," I said with as much authority as I could muster. "If nothing else, this is still my universe and if anything goes wrong, it's me who'll have to deal with the fallout. Sorry, squirt. If it's any consolation, I would have liked to try the whole Bonnie and Clyde thing with you if the circumstances were different, but my word is final."

I led the way and the still grouchy girl followed though as luck would have it, we just happened to pass by the bank, appropriately called 'Bank of Yule' and though Jackie's gaze did linger longingly on the concrete structure, she relented and followed me still, darkly muttering, "Better be fucking worth it" and "Bleeding heart tree hugger." We had to ask a few ponies, but sure enough, some very helpful stallions pointed us to the right way. Turns out the festival had an entire section dedicated to these sort of games.

Most of them seemed to be more or less the same like on good, old Earth.

There were those games were you had to find the pea under one of three cups, which I pointedly avoided. Those where always rigged and I had lost enough cash to prove it.

Something that looked interesting was a game where a surprisingly large mouse was set down in a little wooden box that was lined with miniature houses all around, which each bore a number ranging from one to thirteen. One had to bet correctly into which house the little rodent would scurry of to win the pot. Seemed easy enough and I was about to bet myself when suddenly a small foal pointed out that the mouse used was not an ordinary mouse but something called an 'Escovil Mouse' or something along these lines. A mouse that, from what the foal said was on the same level of sapiens like a foal itself so it could probably choose a door nopony was betting on in order for the games owner to win. The griffin that ran the stand grew visibly nervous and was quick to assure us that it was a ordinary mouse he caught in the little room he had rented in a shabby Inn near Downtown. That was the line that broke the camel's back as the supposed ordinary mouse suddenly stood on her hind paws, pulled a little black hat and a suitcase out of nowhere and squeaked in quite a pissed tone that 'he was never insulted like that in his whole life and that the griffin could now look for someone else to pull the bits out of the people's pockets' and left the box through a little door. Jackie and I wisely left as a mob of angry (and most likely cheated out of their hard earned money) ponies, griffins and yaks descended on the doomed griffin.

The poor cat-bird's wails of pain aside, we continued on to look for suitable games. Nothing but small-time stuff, really, and they were games that did not exactly give out a lot of cash. I pondered aloud whether we should take our chances with them, but Jackie opposed my plan, insisting we look for bigger fish. Well, that and the fact if these games are anything like on good ol' Earth, they're most likely rigged. And of course, we'd have to pay to play them on the first place.

But luck seemed to finally smile down on us, for as we headed deeper into downtown, Jackie and I became aware of two magically amplified voices that easily carried over most everything around us.

"Excuse me," I asked a nearby mare who eagerly trotted to the voices' source. "What's going on over there?"

"Haven't you heard? It's the Magnificent Mustachio Furioso and his wife, the Beguiling and Perplexing Pandora!" She gushed with a squee, eyes aglow and cheeks rosy. "They've been going on tour throughout Equestria this past year and everypony says their shows are all the rage. Oh, my stars, I never thought they would come all the way to Yule." With that, she promptly galloped towards this show.

I looked to Jackie, who seemed to know what I was thinking and before she could make any objections known, I got in first word. "Well, my dear pony friend. Since we're here and all, might as well check it out, hm?"

The corner of her lip twitched, no doubt she wanted to oppose this course of action, but by some small miracle, she closed her eyes and sighed, her posture slumping. "Alright, fine," she said sullenly. "But let's make it quick."

Oh, I see ya, girl. She was curious, just didn't want to admit it. Well, that suited me fine. I didn't plan on dallying that long anyway.

We did not have to trot far to find a big, neigh, hugeass crowd of ponies, griffins and yaks gathered in front and partially even around a pretty impressive looking stage. Polished hardwood floors that gleamed below the stage lights, props dotted the background, framed by some surprisingly expensive looking stage curtains. Some spectators even hovered in the air in case of Griffins and the occasional Pegasus, or they stood on crates or barrels to see over the heads of their artiodactyl brethren.

But enough of gawking at the crowd, it was high time to see what all the hype was about. Judging from the reactions all around us, one could think that the pony variants of good old Siegfried and Roy were about to make a free show with all the Playboy girls as assistants.

"'Scuse me," I muttered as I used my superior mass to (gently) plow a path to the front rows for me and Jackie, though her method was considerably less gentle than mine. Given that she trailed behind me, plus her smaller size, ponies were quick to crowd around her, and she promptly pushed and shoved them out of the way and more than one poor sod ended up tasting dirt-encrusted snow. Eugh... "Sorry. Comin´ through. Careful, hot stuff on the way. Hey, watch the horn partner!"

Finally, we made it to the first row. I ignored the stink eyes that I felt burning into the back of my head and looked for the performers. Hmm, so far the stage was empty but just as I was about to ask someone when the performers would show up, something that sounded like muffled thunder could be heard and judging from the fact that all the quadrupeds around us turned their gaze as one to the stage told me that this could very well be the intro to the show.

The thunder grew louder and just then, something occurred to me. This was far to rhythmic to be thunder but did not sound like drums either.

"Holy fuck, are those steps?" I muttered involuntary as my eyes grew wide as I began to feel the vibrations seep into my hooves. Just what the ever-loving fuck was going on here?

The crowd cheered as the curtains began to ripple like agitated water and like the Red Sea, the ridiculously expensive looking fabric parted before a Behemoth of an earth pony, a stallion if the thick handlebar moustache and the barrel chest were any indications. Seriously, the guy looked like he could eat Big Macintosh as a snack and still have room for more. If I had to take a guess, I'd say the magnificent beefcake of a pony was either about to or had already hit middle age, not that it made him any less formidable. Muscles rippled beneath his frame and at nearly twice the height of your average stallion, his frame was made all the more intimidating. He had a tan coat and a healthy black mane that was cut in a way one always saw on these strongman on old fashioned carnivals. The fact that he was wearing a leotard and one of these leather bracers on his right foreleg only helped to cement that image.

Oh and let us not forget the fact that he was effortlessly carrying a fucking safe as big as a washing machine on his broad shoulders without a single bead of sweat on his face!

I took my jaw from the ground and stuck it back into place as the mountain of a equine came to a stop, flashed a blindingly bright smile to the crowd and began talking. Well, booming would be more fitting, but details.

"Come one, come all, and marvel at the amazing feats of strength and power by none other than the Magnificent Mustachio Furioso!" The beefcake pony then, I shit you not, reared on his hind hooves and tossed the freaking safe into the air as easily as one might toss a tennis ball. The ponies wowed and awed as this Mustachio caught the falling safe in his hooves, and just for shits and giggles, twirled it like a baton. For the finishing touch, he slammed the thing down on the stage floor, and I couldn't help but notice it remained unscuffed or blemished by the supposedly heavy safe even though they creaked audibly.

Not that it mattered to the ponies around, for they cheered and stomped their hooves in approval as flashy fireworks set off behind Mustachio, enveloping the stage in a stunning array of flashing colors. Heck, I couldn't help but join in with everypony else although... something seemed oddly familiar about this. Oh, well, thinking's for nerds and mad scientists. I had a show to enjoy.

Not sooner as the last firework had sparkled out, cornflower blue smoke began to emanate from seemingly nowhere, turning the stage into a spitting image of a Scottish marsh together with a subtle but enthralling music that seemed to originate from the safe itself.

As I tried to make heads or tails out of this, I noticed that many ponies and griffins, notably all males with the occasional female sprinkled in, began to cheer and whistle in a very specific way.

"Ponies, griffins and yaks of Yule," a new voice, this one clearly female, could be heard and the cheers nearly tripled. "Are you ready to be amazed beyond your wildest imaginations? Bedazzled and charmed like never before and to witness feats of magic that even the Royal Sisters only found appraising words for?"

Wow, the owner of the voice performed for Celly and Lulu and got props from them? Unholy fuck! That was some serious rep.

Obviously, the crowd went wild.

The music grew in volume until it resembled these beats one would expect in a smoky jazz bar and shadows began to move in the mist in a dance like fashion.

I had to admit, whoever was pulling this show knew his or her stuff, this was top grade entertainment. A quick glance to the side revealed to me that even little Miss Grumpy-Pants had a hard time not to show that she was at least as intrigued as I was. Maybe even a bit more, if the little sparkles in her eyes were something to go after.

"So whatddaya think, girl? Not too shabby, is it?" The girl merely shrugged, making a noncommittal noise. I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to the show. "Well, be interesting to see magic tricks by ponies who can actually perform magic, hm?"

"I guess..."

Then, the crowd roared as even more of the smoke poured onto the stage and the same female voice could be heard. "Now then, mares and gentlecolts, prepare yourself for the amazing, the stunning, the tantalizing, the one and only..." The voice gained a definite Jessica Rabid quality, smoky and husky and totally screaming, 'I´m everyone's wet dream and I know it!'

The big, stirring wheel thing on the door of the safe began to rotate.

All around us, the spectators leaned forward.

Slowly, agonizingly so, the safe´s door swung open.

"The Beguiling..."

I caught myself intently staring at the stage too, trying to figure out what would happen next but found myself unable too.

"… and Perplexing..."

The heavy metal door opened complete and just that moment, a swarm of birds burst out of it... no, they weren´t birds, but rather fireworks that looked like birds. Phoenixes perhaps? Anyways it was a massive page out of Gandalf's big book of magnificent pyro techniques and it looked glorious.

Everyone was looking around wildly.

"Pandora!" Finished the mysterious female voice as suddenly, a new figure appeared on the stage or to be more precise, directly on Mustachio´s back!

If the crowd was going wild before, now Pandemonium broke loose! I had a hard time to stay up-right as all around me, bodies moved like the stormy sea in order to get a better view. Hell, I even had to act quick and take Jackie on my back with a fast and well practiced maneuver to avoid getting separated from her.

The new-comer was a Unicorn mare with a powder blue coat and a sea blue mane that cascaded over the left half of her face, effortlessly giving her a ever so slightly wicked aura. She was wearing a very interesting outfit consisting of a white dress shirt without arms, a black swallow tail jacket (without arms too), something that looked like these bloomer things that one always saw the typical magician's assistant wearing, in combination with very tasteful black fishnets on her hind legs and some sort of black shoe things.

Cat calls and wolf whistles soon drowned out whatever semblance of cheering preceded them, and I couldn't exactly blame them, as I too participated. This Pandora was one foxy lady. Gahh, if only I didn't have a girlfriend...

Or she wasn´t married to a Pony that could probably crush me effortlessly should I ever even dare to make a move on his better half. Oh well, a girl can dream, yes?

The stage ponies basked in the attention and as soon as the crowd calmed down a bit (took a surprising amount of time, too) Pandora slid off Mustachio's massive frame and I just couldn't help but wonder. I mean, he's so friggin' huge! How does he not crush her when they're, well, intimate or whatever?

Circling around her hubby, Pandora moved with a sleek, fluid gait, hindquarters bobbing and swaying in a manner that just drew the eyes to that smooth, ripe, perfectly sculpted ass and... uh, no! Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts! Argh, to late! Stupid sexy Unicorn!

"Now, dear ponies," Pandora said, her voice husky, leading, like she knew every stallion (and some mares) in the audience wanted her. "We have a little surprise for you today," the seductress pony said as she paced back and forth at the lip of the stage, numerous sets of eyes following. "Come and give a hoof to our very own daughter, the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Sparks of all colors emerged from the floor beside Pandora along with a puff of smoke and when it cleared, there was the showboating showpony herself, in the very same attire from Boast Busters, chest puffed out and head held high. I swear, my jaw literally dropped as the connection between the three ponies suddenly became clear.

"Ow!" I exclaimed as something forcefully poked the back of my head.

"Quit gawping. You look like an idiot," Jackie said from atop my back.

"B-but... tha... do you know who that is?" I demanded, pointing to Trixie, who like her parents, basked in the attention.

"She just said it, didn't she? The Great and Powerful Trixie," she said mockingly.

"No, that's not what I... oh, who cares. Just watch the show," I grumbled. Right, I forgot that before this, the girl had never been exposed to MLP in her life. I idly wondered whether this was because she actively avoided it or because there was no MLP in her universe. I made a mental note to ask later, for I'd missed what happened next on stage.

From what happened next, I'd say Pandora announced Trixie as her 'assistant' or whatever, for the showpony moved to the center of the stage, her parents giving her a wide berth, making sure all eyes were on her.

"As I'm sure everypony is aware," Pandora said. "Yours truly is a bit of an enthusiast in regards of creatures of myth and legend. Well, for my opening trick today, I, the Beguiling and Perplexing Pandora, calling upon the arcane arts, will transform my dear daughter into a creature known to all as the most obscure of all mystic beings. Of course, I am talking about nothing else but an elusive creature, one seen only in fleeting glimpses and whom nopony has ever captured before. Naturally, I am talking about the one and only, the genuine Human!"

Say what?!? I felt my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets as I stared at Pandora like she just declared that she found the cure to Pony-Aids. On my back, I felt Jackie tense up too.

The crowd, they seemed to take to the idea with flying colors, shouting and stomping their approval, all but begging the alluring magician to show her art to them.

From my spot, I could see that Trixie's composure seemed to crack ever so slightly under her mask of haughty confidence.

"Is she for real?" Jackie asked from her perch. I didn't answer, not daring to even blink.

Pandora's horn glowed, her aura swelling with magical power. Out of thin air, two ribbons made of what looked to be magic made tangible encircled Trixie, sapphire blue in color, spinning around the showpony. As they picked up speed, a white light materialized from under Trixie's hooves, bright and translucent, but not so much so that it hurt to look at. It rose steadily until completely enveloping the now somewhat twitchy unicorn. The conjured ribbons spun ever faster, the light that enveloped Trixie swelled like a balloon about to burst, and burst it did. With an explosion that scattered motes of multicolored light in all directions, there stood a newly transformed Trixie.

My jaw unhinged at the sight that presented itself to us. Really should let a doctor check that, happened quite a lot lately.

Right there, on the stage stood an honest to everything human Trixie. Or well, her equivalent from Equestria Girls, plus something extra. The body structure was right by any means, long, slender legs with five toed feet, arms long enough to reach the middle of the thighs with delicate looking hands at the ends that Trixie used to stabilize herself by holding onto the safe her Dad brought on the stage and had not yet disposed of. Her platinum colored hair was still the same and so was her skin color, still powder blue like her coat. Oh and she was butt naked! I mean, seriously, that Pandora called herself an human enthusiast and completely forgot the most prominent part about human lore? The effing clothes? I mean, not that she did not do an outstanding job making Trixie´s human body look utterly delectable. Human Trixie was now sporting a smooth stomach with the cutest belly button, a waist that looked like I could almost close my hands around it without looking unhealthy, legs for days and her sweater-puppies were nothing to scoff at either. They were even at the right place, sitting on her chest, perky and proud.

Sweet Baby Jesus, they looked to scrumptious! Good thing I had Jackie on my back, or else I might have said and/or done something I would probably regret. Speaking of Jacqueline, she was suspiciously quiet.

Anyway, now I noticed that aside from the skin color, Pandora got another few details wrong. Instead of human ears, a pair of powder blue pony ears sat on top of her poofy hair, swiveling ever so slightly from side to side and behind her, I could see Trixie´s old tail still attached to her behind, swishing to and fro, indicating the transformed mare's state of mind. Additionally, her digits lacked nails and her boobies, tasty as they were, were without nipples. Not that it made them any less pleasant to look at. Also, her crotch was looking more like that of a Barbie doll than an actual womanhood but hey, she got it pretty close without ever seeing but the hair of a actual human being.

Still, for all the inaccuracies and imperfections, the crowd ate it up and now the roars, whistles and stomps reached a near deafening crescendo. Trixie, quickly gaining her composure, grinned widely and held out her arms in a classic Leo DiCaprio pose, causing the ponies to cheer louder. I joined in wholeheartedly.

"That's what passes for human around here? Ugh," Jackie groaned as the crowd quieted down. I was about to scold her for being such a sourpuss when somepony beat me to the punch.

"What's this? Are Trixie's ears betraying her? Because it sounds to Trixie like there are neighsayers in the audience," the haughty unicorn-now-humanoid said, eyes immediately locking on to the two of us. Damn, that's some pinpoint hearing she's got there. I don't think I could have done the same. Then again, I was no little quadruped prey species originally.

By some force, call it experience in pointing out neighsayers or any number or neuroses, Trixie's roving eyes locked onto us. "So, you two ponies think yourselves better than us, do you?"

Goddamn it, Jacqueline! "Uh... no, no! That's not it at all. M-my little friend here was just..."

"Oh, woe be to us, dear husband," Pandora sighed in a theatrical moan. "It seems somepony is not satisfied with our performance."

"A challenge then?!" Mustachio boomed. Challenge? Where did he pull that out of? "So," he said as he trotted closer, his hooves causing minor tremors in the stage. "You ponies think Mustachio and Mustachio's family are hacks, do you?" The mountain of a pony asked, lumbering over me like doom given form.

What? No! When did I say that? It was her! The little brat atop me!

"Fine. You two fillies, come here to the stage where Mustachio and his family can get a better look at you."

I scarcely remembered a time I was more embarrassed. Pretty sure it happened, but it was a bit hard to remember. Maybe that one day when Leo played in my room and found the box containing my sex toys under my bed, curiously asking Mom and me what those weird things were. The spectator ponies scrambled away like we were lepers or something, leaving us to stand in a wide berth and eyeing us in a similar manner.

At some point, the brat had clambered down me and readily returned the glares everypony shot at us, and if she had fingers, I'd bet she'd be making good use of them at this time.

Powering through the embarrassment, I hooked a foreleg around my 'friend's' throat and yanked thusly, wanting to just get it over with. It slightly helped that I imagined myself strangling her.

The now silent stage held its breath as we clambered up the stairs and eyeing us all the way were the three showponies. Trixie made no effort to hide her arrogant disdain, head held high and looking down at us snootily which was rather easy, seeing as she was still under the influence of her Mommy's spell. Heh, kinda made me want to give her a good conk.

"Now then, neighsayers," Pandora said. "What are your names?"

I gulped. Damn sexy unicorn. What business does she have being all alluring even now? I opened my mouth, but rather than words, a hollow rattling sound came through. Agh! Come on, focus. Breathe. Yes, that's better.

Pandora looked on patiently while Trixie rolled her eyes, tapping a foot in impatience and Mustachio... well, it was kinda hard to read him, really. Still friggin' huge though...

"Umbra," I managed to eke out. "Umbra Illusion."

"And you?" She asked Jackie next.

"Uh, that is... Pretty Prancer, yes, my very good friend Pretty Prancer." I rushed out with a smile that was just a hint malicious before Jackie-Girl could answer anything stroppy. From somewhere beside me, a strangled kind of choking noise could be heard and yes, I couldn't help but smirk a little more, feeling my villainous needs ever so slightly satisfied.

Pandora nodded. "Umbra Illusion. Pretty Prancer," she said, looking respectively at me and 'Pretty' whose teeth were bared and grinding, her fuzzy mug quickly taking on the hue of a tomato. "Do you ponies think us hacks? Showboats?"

"O-of course not," I croaked.

"Then again, you did create that horrific abomination of man and beast, so..." Jackie said unapologetically, gesturing to the mutant Trixie. My head whipped around so fast I'm pretty sure I got whiplash, shooting a murderous look at the brat who in turn shot me a shit-eating grin.

"What she means to say is..." I began, hoping to undo the damage. Alas, no such luck.

"Horrific abomination? Horrific. Abomination?!?" Trixie all but screeched, her light blue cheeks nearly turning purple, together with a vein starting to pulse dangerously on her neck. "You dare to besmirch the astounding spell craft of Trixie´s mother like that? A mare that even Celestia herself called the best Illusionist of her generation? You dare..." She made a step forward and to be honest, I felt just the tiniest bit intimidated, if just for the righteous fury blazing in the mare turned woman´s eyes. Luckily, the behemoth of her father held her back by simply stepping half in front of her, cutting of her path, giving his better half a meaningful look all the while.

Pandora for her part seemed to get the message as her horn lit up again and in a flash of light, Trixie was her horsy self again. Not that it seemed to diminish her wrath in any way.

"Why, such crude criticism, I am wounded." Pandora 'lamented' before her face gained a serious expression worthy of the Godfather himself, all hints of seductive sexiness vanished without a trace. "If you think so low of my spells, then I propose a contest between the four of us. Let us test our wits and brawn against each other to determinate who of us is the superior and who deserves to be called the Grandest of the Grand." She turned to the masses who watched in anxious silence "What do you say ponies, griffins and yaks of Yule? Do you want to see a battle of might and magic worthy of its own tale being told for generations to come?" Pandora had not to wait for even a second before the masses roared their approval. Respect were it was due, that lady was a master demagogue.

Walking over to stand beside her hubby and daughter, Pandora shot Jackie and I a thin, dangerous smile that just screamed 'You just done goofed!' as loud as the unwashed masses in front of the stage.

"The audience has spoken. What say you, Umbra and Pretty Prancer? Do you accept our challenge?"

"Depends. Is there a prize?" Jackie asked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Look, Jezebel," Jackie said. "Believe it or not, we got better things to do than perform parlor tricks in front of you... ponies," she said at last. Well, I guess it's better than whatever other word she had in mind.

"What she meant to say is that: would it not be much more entertaining if there was a prize at stake?" I interjected, trying my hand at being the diplomatic one around here.

This in turn seemed to got the interest of Mustachio as the colossus pony took on a complementing expression, his handlebar moustache waggling ever so slightly while he silently worked his jaw. Finally, his lips broke into a huge grin (was everything on this guy extra large or was it just me?) and he stomped his hoof on the stage, causing a small scale quake.

"A wager then? Moustachio approves of this," the huge pony boomed. "Pandora, sun of my stars, what do you think?"

"A marvelous idea, husband," she said smoothly. "A little spice makes everything nice after all. Fine," she said, turning back to us. "We will henceforth compete so see which among us is truly the greatest. Should you young ladies win, your prize shall be the total sum of today's earnings: one thousand bits!"

The crowd cheered and stomped their hooves while my eyebrows shot up into my skull. One thousand bits? Not shabby. Not too shabby at all. "We accept!" I declared loudly and the crowd cheered even louder.

Pandora waved a hoof, signaling the masses to quiet. "As we accept as well. Now, as Equestria's premier illusionist and strongpony, you and your, uh..."

"Friend," I clarified.

"Yes. The two of you will try to outshine mine and my husband's feats of strength and skill. Should you succeed, the gold is yours."

"And if we lose?" I asked.

"If that case should come to be, and it will," Trixie stepped from behind her parents and lit up her horn to conjure two large cardboard signs with strings on them to wear them around ones neck and a black marker from somewhere. "You will admit right here, in front of all those spectators that Trixie´s parents are superior to the two of you in any way possible and wear these as long as you remain in this city." The marker squeaked as the younger showpony busied herself with scribbling something on the signs, then showed to us what she wrote. Now the signs said 'Loudmouthed, unworthy frauds!' And 'We stink!' In flowing script, with small versions of Jackie and Me underneath, heads hung in shame and some sort of wiggly stinky lines rising from our sketch counterparts' heads.

I sighed. "Great, is that all?"

Trixie hummed, tapping a hoof against her chin and eyeing Jackie for a moment. "Yes, Trixie will also want those earmuffs." She promptly pointed to my little friend's winter wear. Jackie looked surprised at this, but quickly removed the things and tossed them over to Trixie.

"Keep them," she said, seemingly glad to be rid of them. Trixie caught them in her magic, grinning and quickly donned the 'muffs.

"But you looked so cute in them," I said mildly.

"Shut up."

"So it is decided!" Moustachio boomed. "Let the contest begin." He took a step towards us and puffed his impressive, perfect to lean against and purr kitten barrel chest out. "Moustachio will, as always, the first to start. Behold!" He boomed. This seemed to be some sort of signal because from somewhere underneath the stage, whirrs could be heard and a portion of the floor slid open to reveal some sort of lift platform that was laden to the brim with all kind of weights, dumbbells, heavy chains and even the odd anvil. How the blooming fuck did all this fit underneath the damn stage?

Trotting over to the assorted heavy objects, Moustachio made a small show of flexing his impressive muscles, earning whistles and cheers from the audience. Then, with a blinding smile, he hooked his left leg around the bar of a weight with those stereotypical cannonballs at each end. To my secret amusement, they even had a big fifty painted on each ball. Without even flinching, he then raised the damn thing over his head in a fluid movement like someone else might reach for something in a shelf. To top his action, Mr. Stache McStacheington twirled the damn thing around like a cheerleader baton a few times before he let go of it, causing surprised gasps from the crowd as the heavy weight sailed through the air. Just as the cherry on top, Moustachio then caught flying device with nothing else but his freaking mouth, giving it another twirl and in an seemingly impossible feat of 'how the hell did he do that', placed the whole weight on top of his nose, balancing it like a seal would a ball!

My jaw met the stage floor and the crowd went wild. It was at this point that I reconsidered the wisdom of my agreeing to this challenge. I mean, as the Overlady, I did have a leg up as far as physical strength goes. Well, compared to other humans at least, but the prospect of a thousand moolah made me momentarily forget I was not at my best right now.

"Well, looks like this is me," Jackie said from beside me. Huh, I kinda forgot she was abnormally strong for a runt. Hopefully she'll be able to make something of herself.

The crowd laughed as the small pony took center stage and I could practically hear her teeth gnashing against each other. Please don’t do something stupid. Please don't do something stupid...

Moustachio barked out a full bellied laugh. Trixie could also be heard tittering on the side while all Pandora did was raising an intrigued brow. It did look comical, I'll admit. The Goliath of a pony challenged by someone he could use to pick his teeth with. Then again, we all knew how those kind of stories normally went down right?

"So, little filly, have you come to admit defeat against Moustachio and his spectacular feats of power?" He demanded while making a show of flexing his absurdly massive muscles, eliciting cheers from the crowd.

The girl-turned-pony's lips curled in a disdainful sneer, but thankfully refrained from, well, speaking at all. She walked on over to the platform, inspecting the assorted weights, hefting a couple of the smaller ones in a hoof. Not appearing satisfied, she turned back to Moustachio. "Is this all you got? Come on, Meatlug, give me a real challenge."

Moustachio's eye twitched ever so briefly. Granted, given that all of him was so freaking massive, it did not go unnoticed. "You dare to make fun of Moustachio?!" He demanded, moustache bristling in indignation. "Fine. Trixie, my dearest daughter, bring forth the Big One," he commanded to the aforementioned pony, whose horn lit up and, materializing above the stage floor a scant few hands above Jackie's head, emerged the mother of all weights, causing her to look up in surprise.

A monster of metal, trapezoidal in shape, the size of a car, its sides marked in white lettering with the number four thousand and with an overtly large handle at the top, as if anyone could get his hands around that thing. It fell with all the grace of a plummeting blimp, crashing against the stage floor with a deafening bang with my little friend barley dodging out of the way in the last second.

I was afraid I had to step in any moment to stop Jaqueline from murderizing a visibly shaken and bashful looking Trixie, but to my immense surprise, all the girl did was shooting the showpony a look like thermite that made her wilt even more.

The crowd murmured in awe at the thing and at this point, I could feel myself sweating up a storm. That... wha... how in the world is anybody supposed to lift that?! Hell, even Jackie seemed to have doubts if her face was any indication.

"You wanted a challenge, filly? Well, it's a challenge you get! Even Moustachio can barely lift this. He is eager to see what you will do."

Swallowing, Jackie circled the monster. All eyes on her, the stage was now silent. She hoisted a hoof on the thing, then another, and rose on two legs. Curious as to what she planned, I extended my senses just a tad, wanting to see if she'd employ magic on this puppy.

Yup, she did. Power surged through her limbs and with one mighty pull, she heaved the massive weight a good six meters in the air. The crowd gasped, even Moustachio choked on his words, but Jackie was not done yet. As the thing lost its momentum and dropped, Jackie charged forward, meeting it head on and in one of the most absurd, stupid things I've ever seen anybody do, she crashed her skull against it, eliciting a deafening, gong-like sound as the weight sailed through the air and into the spectators, who cried out in alarm and scattered like so many bugs.

By this point, all three stage ponies were doing a good impression of an idiotic, dying fish as the monster of metal crashed down on the ground, creating a mini crater in its wake.

Just as my absurdly overpowered little friend stood there, the mother of all smug smiles etched on her muzzle, I had an neat idea to put the extra icing on top of the cherry on top of the epic cake of epicness Jaqueline just served piping hot, straight from the oven.

"How´s that Yule? Witness the one, the only, Pretty Prancer!" I half yelled in my best entertainer voice as I began trotting up and down the stage. "Come on Yule, I can´t hear you, give it up for the diminutive wonder, the oompfh packing filly, the mean machine of awesome in a room saving package." I flashed my biggest grin to the awed crowd, gesturing to Jackie with one hoof. "I said, I can´t hear you!" I all but roared and it worked. Only a few at first, the spectators began to stomp applause, then a good dozen, then several and in the blink of an eye, the whole crowd was going wild again, chanting the name Pretty Prancer over and over again, much to Jackie's mortification. I allowed me a satisfied smirk, mission accomplished. Yepp, that was how you fired up a crowd.

Still smiling broadly, I turned around to Jackie and the Showpony family. It satisfied me immensely to see smug pride and utter embarrassment rage a merciless war on my little friend's face while Moustachio looked like he was ready to cash in his sanity card because he just witnessed a mare that barley reached up to his sternum do something with contemptuous ease that even he had trouble with and Trixie had a striking resemblance to a stone statue, with her mouth wide open and her pupils so small they were almost invisible. Only momma Pandora had retained a semblance of her former composure, but it was clear her mask started to crack.

"Hmm, looks like we won this round judging after the audience´s reaction yes?" I asked, only halfheartedly trying to not let my voice ooze with smugness.

It was that moment that Trixie managed to overcome her petrification. Her gob twisted in indignation and anger. If I had to guess, I'd say she was going for intimidating, but those Parasprite earmuffs were really hampering her efforts. "No!" She screamed out, making a step forward, thrusting an accusing hoof at Jackie aka Pretty Prancer "No, you´ve not! That mare clearly cheated! Not even Trixie´s father could hope to do what she just did and Moustachio is the strongest Earth Pony in the recorded history of Equestria! There is no way in Tartarus that a pint sized mare like your friend could have bested him!" Jeez, there was the pulsing vein again. That mare seriously needed to lay of the espresso or something.

"Is that so?" Jackie asked, taking a step forward. "Well, Great and Powerful Trixie, why don't you come on over? I'll show you first hand just how much a cheat I am," she said while doing an approximation of cracking her knuckles, just... with hooves. I dunno. Either way, it seemed to do the trick as Trixie looked that much more hesitant.

Luckily, it was that moment that Pandora decided to show that she was clearly the composed one in the family as she gave her half fuming, half scarred daughter a loving nuzzle and even an affectionate little lick over the cheek. Hmm, must been the equine equivalent to a motherly peck or something. "Now, now my dear, this is most unbecoming of you. A true Roani never lets her emotions get the better of herself onstage." The mage mare gently chided her hot blooded offspring before looking at Jackie and me, well, more Jackie. "While I say that the outcome baffles me to no end, there is no way to deny that Pretty Prancer did best your father fair and square." With that, her horn lit up and out of nowhere a magic projection appeared in the air over the stage, not unlike the stuff Trixie used in her Boast Busters ep, only worlds more refined. The whole thing looked like one of those football score boards, with the faces of the whole showpony family on one side and mine and Jackie´s on the other. Our side of the board read a neat one while the other side read zero.

Moustachio sighed. An action that would normally be mundane but the big lug's succeeded in ruffling the heavy-looking stage curtains. "Though it pains Moustachio to admit it, he knows when he's been beat. But Moustachio assure you, little lady," he looked to Jackie solemnly. "From this point forward, Moustachio will train and push himself harder than ever before and one day, he will hunt you down and see once and for all who is truly the strongest." With that, the massive stallion lumbered to the very back of the stage and resembled a statue more than anything.

Giving her husband a nod, Pandora turned to me, again slipping into her sexylicious routine. "Well then, looks like this leaves the two of us now, yes?" The mare-devil asked me as she swaggered over to me, a small smile on her lush lips... was she wearing lipstick? Sure as hell looked like it. Aaaanyways! I had to concentrate on pressing matters, namely what the obviously best Illusionist in all of Equestria had up her non-existent sleeves for me.

"For our contest, my dear Umbra, I propose that we each show our best magic act and like before, whoever earns the most applause from the audience will win this round. Do you agree?" Pandora all but cooed in a voice that had me sweating bullets for different reasons. That the undeniably gorgeous mare was sashaying around me close enough to get a good whiff of her heady perfume had totally nothing to do with it!

I swear, if I did not knew better, I would have thought that mare the pony version of Zinnia!

Fighting the dryness in my mouth, I finally managed to respond. "Y-yes, that sounds delicious... ehrm, I mean, agreeable. Yes, that is totally what I meant!"

The smile on Pandora´s lips intensified without ever even threatening to break her façade of classy stallion (and maybe mare) eater-ness. She gave me a wink over her shoulder before she asked me if I would mind if she would the one to start. All I could do was shake my head, hope that my dark coat would hide my furious blush and trot back to the sidelines, from where Jackie was sitting giving me a look bordering on disgust, while simultaneously managing to give of vibes along the lines of 'Are you freaking shitting me?' Judging from the way she silently moved her mouth. She even drove her elbow into my ribs as soon as I sat down at her side with quite some force.

Pandora nodded in satisfaction. She turned back to the masses, who'd been watching in rapt attention.

"Everypony, for our second challenger, I present to you Umbra Illusion," she gestured to me with her hoof and as if on cue, one of the stage lights (who was working those, by the way?) shone down on me, to my moderate surprise.

Umbra and I, The Beguiling and Perplexing Pandora, shall engage in a contest to see which of us is truly the greatest illusionist to ever roam these lands," she finished with a flourish, her voice rising in pitch and like Moustachio before her, a number of dazzling fireworks went off behind her. The ponies cheered and whistled. Some catcalls sprinkled in as well as Pandora trotted with that damnably tasty swaying of her plot to her respective place on the stage.

"Now, let us begin!" Pandora declared dramatically, her horn flaring to life once again. The same low music from before emanated from seemingly everywhere again as she began her act. I must admit, I was more than curious to see what Trixie´s yummy MILF could do.

Pandora gave the whole audience a smoldering gaze, coupled with a sultry smile as she began to sway her hips to the beat not unlike a Belly dancer. The males (and some females) that made up the audience appropriately drooled, entranced at the display. Well, all this certainly explained were the 'Beguiling' in Pandora's name came from.

Pandora basked in the attention and from my peripheral vision, I could see Trixie rolling her eyes and facehoofing at her mom's display with a healthy blush sneaking on her cheeks. To my not so secret amusement even Jackie blushed, my short companion even more furiously than Trixie.

The magician's horn lit up, conjuring up the smoke from her entrance again. I raised a brow and to be honest, felt rather queasy. If that mare that was rocking the stage just with a bit of fanservice was really the best Illusionist of her generation, than what kind of chance would I stand with my own admittedly rather meager magical skills?

Okay, so I could hurl Fireballs or Lightning and could pull some kind of changeling like transformation but that was it. Oh, and I could also erode anybody's free will and replace it with my own, turning them into thralls, but I don't think that will go over too well. From there it's a slippery slope from inquisitions to persecution and a millennium or two as a rooster/crapper for random birds.

In hindsight, I slowly but surely arrived at the decision that I would probably have been better off contesting against her husband.

At this point, Pandora was dancing more enthusiastically now, much to the crowd's pleasure. Didn´t she say something about her and her family being Roani? Probably the same thing as Roma for the human world. Anyways, that mare sure got her moves down.

Something moved in the wafting fog. The movement reminded me somehow of a whale or a dolphin that was breaking the surface of the sea while swimming... only that the movement seemed... serpentine somehow.

The crowd clearly noticed while Pandora seemed oblivious, never once ceasing her fluid movements.

A shocked gasp rang out as suddenly a long, slender body erupted from the smoke. Its shape resembled a serpentine creature that looked somehow like a Asian dragon, only without the lion-ish head instead sporting a more European one with those weird fin ears and a pair of leathery wings somewhere in the middle of the body. Speaking of the body, from my point I could see that it was ever so slightly transparent around the, well, edges.

The glow of Pandora´s horn died down to a weak glimmer and the music stopped.

So that was part of Pandora´s show hn? Most interessting.

The audience went dead silent as the dragon-serpent loomed over Pandora, the mare seemingly finally noticing that something was wrong. She stopped dancing and slowly turned her head around. Not earlier as she came snout to snout with the beast, her eyes widened and her ears nearly vanished in her mane. She even let out a startled gasp, making a step back.

That mare was a brilliant actress I had to give her that.

The dragon stretched his body to follow Pandora.

The Illusionist took a step to the left. The dragon mirrored her movement, following her with a flap of his wings.

Pandora seemingly froze for a few moments until a look of realization replaced her shocked look. She then took a step back, followed by a step to the right.

The dragon mirrored each movement, seemingly slithering through the air with a grace akin to a dancer more than a overgrown wyrm.

A smile grew on Pandora´s lips as her confidence seemingly returned. The glow of her horn intensified until it was as bright as at the start of her performance again, the music returning which a much more volume. Strangely enough, it now had a familiar, driving vibe, like I knew the tune from somewhere but could not point my finger on it.

The tempo increased, and with it, so too did Pandora's sashaying of her hips. The stagelights dimmed a bit, and where before they bathed the stage in blazing light, now they seemed to take it, lending the area a dusky quality.

Ponies gasped as this served to highlight the dragon's features. It was still transparent to a degree, true, but its vivid green coloring made it a small, writhing sun in the darkened atmosphere.

Its body twisted, circling Pandora. The MILFy mare's hips now gyrated at a rate I thought impossible for ponies, and I could feel myself growing warmer as the blood pooled in my face.

And out of nowhere, the dragon dived, maw wide, revealing an impressive set of gleaming teeth, intending to devour Pandora. Some ponies, so entranced by the show, cried out in alarm, momentarily forgetting this was all an act. But they needn't worry.

Anticipating this, Pandora, in an admittedly impressive display of gymnastic skill, easily turned her body like water, the dragon bypassing her by a hair's width. What I (or anybody else, I'd say) did not expect was for Pandora to grab on to the conjured dragon as it sailed past.

A sharp intake of breath could be heard all around as Pandora literally, not figuratively, rode the damn lizard even as it continued to grow in size, turning in midair, twisting and making all sorts of death defying turns as it tried to shake her off.

Throughout all this, Pandora's visage remained composed. Hell, a small smile played across her lips, seemingly without a care in the world.

Quickly growing agitated, the dragon, in a seemingly last ditch attempt at its freedom and dignity, opened its maw to release a torrent of conjured flame in all directions. Great billowing sheets of amber and golden yellow that glowed so bright it was nearly blinding.

By this point, my jaw was all but gone, I'm sure and though I stood as entranced at the display as anybody else, I could have sworn I had a mini-stroke or two, wondering how in the world I'd be able to top this.

By this point, the dragon twisted so quickly and expelled so many flames that it lost itself in the sea of fire and like that, as the flames remained suspended in midair, not dispelling, its furious roars and bellows silenced.

It lasted only for a heartbeat before the beast's serpentine body shot out of the dome of fire and into the sky. The flames receded and in one final lunge, the dragon finally managed to dislodge the pony that tormented it so.

Quite a few ponies screamed as Pandora found herself literally in the air with nothing to hold onto and gravity quickly reasserted is hold as she plunged back to the hardened stage.

The dragon had not been idle during all this. It swerved upwards, intending to devour the pony as she fell, but Pandora had other plans, it seemed. She extended a delicate hoof, meeting the dragon's aerial charge head on and from her horn, a sphere of bluish white light emerged.

It hovered to her outstretched hoof, where it grew, elongated and took shape of a, for lack of a better word, spectral sword. The dragon and pony met head on. Pandora swerved at the last moment, cleaving the dragon as she fell, her spectral blade leaving a luminescent white gash as the dragon growled weakly, knowing it was defeated.

Pandora, somehow, landed gracefully on the ground, sword dissipating. The music reached as crescendo as the dragon, emitting a death rattle, exploded in a stunning array of fireworks and flashing lights in a display of pyro techniques worthy of Vegas, nay, Gandalf the fucking Gray himself!

Pandora just stood there, her chest heaving visibly, quite a few strands of her mane gone wild not that it would have subtracted from her raw beauty, starring at the stunned crowd.

A heartbeat later, the whole of the audience exploded in deafening cheers, showering Pandora in verbal affection, congratulations and what not.

I felt my tail tug itself between my legs and my ears splay back as I watched Trixie's mother soak in the absolutely hard and well earned praise.

"How the hell am I supposed to top this?" I muttered glumly, watching Pandora wave to her adoring fans, blowing kisses every so often. "Might as well give up now..." Cold dread grew in my stomach as I saw Pandora trot over to her waiting family, Moustachio saying something with a proud and soft expression while Trixie, that powder blue bitch was smugging in my direction, her expression clearly telegraphing something along the lines of 'Bitch, you got nothing on ma momma!'

I did not realize that I was making a slow retreat from the stage until a small hoof made contact with my shoulder, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"And where do you think you're going, hm?" Jackie hissed at me.

"Everywhere but on that stage. Did you see what that mare just pulled? How am I supposed to beat that? Fuck, I could die happy if I ever where to possess even a quarter of that skill and..."

For a moment, my world blurred and seconds later, white hot pain seared through my cheek.

Baffled I stared at Jacqueline who was now standing on her hindlegs, her right front leg still swinging from the bitch slap she just gave me.

"Listen here, you, and listen well." Grabbing ahold of my jacket, the girl pulled me roughly so that we were nose to nose. I could take in all the details of her eyes. "It's your damn fault we're in this ridiculous situation in the first place. You wanted to go and mingle with the little beasts. You insisted on participating on some dumb carny game instead of straight up stealing and of the two of us, you're the adult here, so fucking take responsibility and finish what you started." With that, the impudent little brat spun me around and despite my digging in my hooves, shoved me with enough force that I slid straight into the limelight.

I think my heart just stopped beating then and there.

Silence reigned the whole damn city and despite knowing better, I swear I heard a cricket chirp.

Someone in the audience coughed.

Glancing to the side, I saw Jackie do some kind of 'Get the fuck on with it!' gesture complete with mouthing the words. We really should work on her pep talks at some point.

Taking in a long breath, then exhaling I tried to recall my lessons from my drama club back in school and how to deal with stage fright.

Concentrate. Focus just on yourself. Forget the stage, the audience, everything around you. Close your eyes. Breath.

In.

Out.

And now, just give your best, that´s all you can ever do!

The cold in my stomach indeed begun to dissolve and the trembling that assaulted my entire body lessened to a degree.

Okay, let´s do this Multiverse!<<

I began tapping my hoof to the beat in my head, praying for a miracle, internally chanting 'Work work work work, please work!' Over and over again. And lo and behold, this once, the Multiverse seemed to smile down upon me or at last, was not actively sneering because a faint melody begun to emanate from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

I opened my eyes again, firing up my own magic to seemingly let my clothes melt away, leaving me au naturel. Or at least, my ponyform spell. Spell over spell, that would give me a real headache but that was future me´s problem!

Then I started to sing.

"Fillies and colt´s of every age, wouldn´t you like to see something strange? Follow me and you can glean something ne´er before seen."

My voice was a bit of on the first few notes and I had to remake the lyrics to better fit but all in all I was surprised how well it all went.

I trotted to along the edge of the stage, noticing that more than a few ponies where already showing the first signs of being under the influence of Equestria´s very own and very unique magic, swaying ever so slightly in tact with the music.

"Come with me and you will see something that has never been."

I had to suppress a cry of joy as I could heard some ponies half whisper "Something ne´er before seen? Something ne´er before seen?" In a sorta chorus.

"Haunted souls scream in the dead of night!" I chimed back in, trotting down the stage, giving the audience a Cheshire smile while pretending to look around like a frightened schoolgirl in a cheap horror flick "Looking left, looking right, hear a noise, die of fright!" I did a little twirl on my hindhooves before landing on my four legs again "It´s allright, everybody scream since this was ne´er before seen!"

Okay, so far this had not been a bomb as I could see some of the audience starting to raise an eyebrow or even starting to look bored so I had to up the ante and pronto! Good thing that the Multiverse had dropped some convenient magic in my lap to do just that.

Letting my head drop to conceal my face, I willed my illusion magic back to work. A low growl escaped my throat for effect as the fur on my body, mainly on the center of my back, began to grow longer, my ears became more lupine and even claws began to emerge from my front hooves. "I am the one hiding under your beds," I sang, adding the last touches to my new form "Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red!" I almost roared the last part as I shot upright, reveling in the reaction I got from the audience as they witnessed my, well, ponywolf form with my new, real, sharp teeth shimmering through the spell and my eyes shining blood red like two pieces of coal straight out of the fires of hell.

I think the first row was vacated nearly in an instant and that only made me more determined to keep going.

Taking a step back and turning around, I took to reshape my appearance once again, my front hooves growing longer, likewise did my mane and fuzzy things the size of eggs began to stir in it. Then I turned around, now sporting two anaconda like front legs, even going so far as to have them actually end in two snake heads who hissed at the audience and big spiders crawling out and about in my long, messy mane. Quite a feat for an arachnophobe like me.

"I am the one behind your windows pane, hooves like snakes and spiders in my mane!"

This time I earned some honest shrieks and screams but also I could see that the audience was seemingly getting into the swing of things. Ha, I still had a chance!

Changing back to my "normal" pony self, I sauntered along the stages edge, bobbing my head and swinging my hips to the music.

"In the darkness we call home, everbody hails to the Nightmares song!" I sang, trying my damndest to give my voice a sweet, feminine quality before abruptly adopting a more butch tone "In the dark, don´t we love it now, everbody´s waiting for the next surprise!"

I briefly let my eyes flash red again before crouching down, pretending to sneak around on the stage. "Round that corner there, hiding in the trashcan..." I pretended to look around an imaginary street corner, looking away from the audience "Something´s waiting now to pounce. Oh how´ll you..." Another touch of magic altered my face to the ghastly death mask of a Banshee before I again turned around, leaping to the stages edge and lean down to the few courageous ones that came to the first row "SCREAM!" I howled, my voice taking a echoing quality like it came out of a grave.

Barley able to hide my satisfaction I strode back to the center of the stage. "This is how it´s always been. Red and black, slimey green! Aren´t you scared?" I asked into the crowd, my coat changing its properties from red and black scales to green, oozing slime and back to my normal black. Then I gave a smug grin and flipped a hoof as if swatting a fly.

"Well that´s just fine. Say it once, say it twice. Take a chance, roll a dice and ride with the moon in the dead of night!"

I went back to the edge of the stage, looking down at the crowd with my best imperial expression and sung-demanded "Everybody scream!" and to my utter delight, quite a few ponies in the audience did so and some even seemed to finally found their way into the song as they chorused "Everypony scream!"

Twirling around, I prepared one of my biggest, most mana hungry tricks. Like a chameleon, I changed the color of my coat, mane and eyes to match the curtains behind me, effectively making me vanish from plain sight.

Fuck, I could literally feel my magical reserves shrink like an ice cube in an industrial oven but I pushed through.

"I am the one when you ask 'Who´s there?', I am the wind blowing through your hair." I rasped out with a thin, ghostly voice only to "pop" back into existence with the fringes of my body moving like smoke to give me a shadow like appearance.

"I am the shadow on the moon at night, filling your dreams to the brim with fright!"

A sudden lightheadedness made me stumble ever so slightly, canceling my smoke illusion and nearly, for a heartstopping second, my ponyform spell. Colorful light dots filled the fringe of my vision but only for the quarter of a heartbeat. Then I regained my bearing somehow.

Sweating under my coat, I steeled myself. >>Time to drive this home!<<

Addressing the crowd once more I kept singing "Tender lumplings everywhere," I visibly licked my chops at this statement for extra effect as I starred at a view ponies in the audience at random before continuing "Life´s not fun without a good scare. That´s our job but we´re not mean, it´s just how it ever been."

Picking up tempo, I gestured to the crowd "In the dark, don´t we love it now..." I sung and thanks everything the crowd really finished with a pretty enthusiastic "Everypony´s waiting for the next surprise!"

Taking the reigns again, I reared onto my hindlegs and looked up to the moon "Our dark Lady might catch you in the back and scream like a Banshee, make you jump outta your skin!"

I took a step forward and willed all my magic up for the grande finale.

"In the darkness we call home, everybody hails to the Nightmares song."

I gestured with my left hoof "Looking left," and then with my right "Looking right," my ears swiveled around "Hear a noise, die of fright!"

Still standing upright, I send magic through my spellwork, making my whole ponyform waver and ripple like the disturbed surface of a lake.

"This was ne´er before seen, everybody scream!"

I imagined myself to grow, larger and thinner, my body taking the proportions of my old self again. I visualized hooves melting into hands and feet, my head loosing all equine features and gaining human ones again. Slowly but surley, I formed the illusion of a young woman with shortish brown hair and bright blue eyes, the same like I had seen my whole life every time I had looked into a mirror.

Reopening my eyes, I smiled broadly as the gathered ponies, griffins and yaks gawked upon the illusion of the human being I once had been.

But I was far from done, no my dear. Gritting my teeth, I willed my magic up again and made a great effort to condense a slim yet impressive suit of armor on my form, with highlights like silver moonlight and the main color being such an inky blue it almost looked pitch black.

A long, slightly frazzled cape rolled out behind me like an ominous pair of wings and a formfitting helmet with pointy horse ears on top and a little horn on the forehead appeared on my head, concealing my face in darkness. In short, I looked like a human Nightmare Moon.

Letting my eyes flash bright white I took a leap forward, earning satisfying yelps and shrieks once more. "Our dark Lady is Queen of the Nightmare Realm, everyone hail to the Nightmare Queen now!" I sung out, already feeling my vocal cords starting to fail me.

"In the darkness we call home, everbody hails to the Nightmares song. Looking left," my left hand shot out "Looking right," same did my right "Hear a noise, die of fright." I stormed through the last vocals, putting my last into them while starring straight at the crowd "For I am a Spirit of Nightmare Night!"

At this point, my performance technically ended but once again the Multiverse showed me that it could be benevolent at times as without any further prompt, the ponies in the crowd suddenly begun a canon between the mares and the stallions. Who would have thought it possible to put so much into simple singing "La, la, la, lala, la~" making it sound so incredible. At the end, someone even throw a cupple of foals up, the little munchkins providing a cheerful 'Weeeeee~' as the true finishing note.

As soon as the last vocal had rung out and I let my Human Nightmare spell fade away, replacing it with my ponyform once again, it felt to me like a blanket of silence had been thrown over the whole damn plaza.

With my pulse still hammering, I nervously licked my lips as I reigned my a-million-miles-an-hour breath back in.

The audience stared back at me or at each other. Someone coughed awkwardly and a few lonely souls applauded to me ever so meekly.

Well, what had I been expecting? Jeez, I knew that I would see no land against Pandora but it still hurt like a red-hot knife driven into my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I let my clothes glimmer back into existence and with shaky legs and tears in the corners of my eyes, took a bow, preparing to trot back to Jackie. Girl would probably give me another earful. Maybe we really just should have busted a bank or something.

A gentle hoof was suddenly placed on my withers. I looked up and came face to face with none other than Pandora, the latter smiling softly down at me.

"That was a very interesting presentation. I must admit that I never saw any of those creatures and the transition between your spells was already very smooth. Well done, Miss Illusion," the wonderful mare told me. "If you hone your skills diligently, I am sure that one day you will find your name amongst the greatest of our craft."

And just like that, I felt a massive lump in my throat. Even though she thoroughly demolished me, Pandora still had encouraging, kind words for me and I could detect no ill will or gloating in them. Uhh... damn, sexy mare. Why is she so wonderful?

Then she lit her horn up again and the score board flickered for just a moment as one point appeared at the side of the show ponies.

"Thank you Miss Pandora," I replied meekly, voice thick with emotion and hastily blinking away my tears. "That means a lot for me." Taking a look at the score board, I sighed. "So, guessing from the applause, I would say you brought this home for your family, hn?"

That caused a melodic giggle that somehow reminded me of silver chimes. Showing me a smile with just a hint of her own pearly whites, Pandora hummed. "Now, I would like to think of this as a well earned draw, yes?" Then she turned to the gawking crowd.

"Ponies of Yule, I declare this a draw. Please applaud for Pretty Prancer and Umbra Illusion. These two mares gave their best and braved Equestria´s premiere showpony couple without batting an eye. Does this show of courage does not deserve respect?" She asked the crowd, her voice silken as before but with an subtle commanding undertone that I almost missed, where it not for the fact that I as the Dark Ruler myself could use something similar.

Well, in hindsight, it was as familiar as a scalpel and a howitzer but semantics.

"Hah!" A very familiar, slightly nasal voice cried out in victory. "So you see, neighsayer, Trixie's mother is far beyond a lowly commoner such as yourself," the obnoxious pony said in smug satisfaction, a cocky little smirk on her lips that I so wanted to slap off.

"Trixie. I am ashamed of you," Moustachio boomed, trotting over to his spawn, looking down in disappointment. "A true Roani knows when he or she has met a worthy opponent and always shows the appropriate respect. Have you forgotten everything your mother and I taught you?"

"What? But they..."

"Proved themselves worthy contenders, dear," Pandora cut in before turning back to me and Jackie, who had sidled next to me at some point. "Please excuse my daughter. She should know better by now," she said sincerely.

Trotting to the edge of the stage, all eyes on her alluring form, Pandora addressed the masses. "Everypony, please give a round of well deserved applause to our contenders for the day, Umbra Illusion and Pretty Prancer, for a performance worthy of the ages." On cue, the masses followed. They cheered, stomped and called out our names. Not just Jackie and I, but Moustachio and Pandora as well. Hell, even Trixie got a few nominations and somewhere along the way, the trio of showponies bowed as one and even more surprisingly, Jackie and I followed in tandem. Honestly, it was more than a little overwhelming and disorienting an despite the fact the contest ended in a draw and we didn't win the cash, I couldn't help but keep a big, goofy grin in my face through it all.

Author's Note

Yes, I went there.

18. Healing Waters

- 18. Healing Waters -

"Okay everypony, dinner is served," Pandora announced as she trotted in, balancing a number of platters in her magic. She set them down on the small table and immediately, a delectable aroma filled the room. A simple white apron hugged her body snuggly, mysteriously adding only to her allure. Stupid ponies being sexy in clothing!

"Ooh, what are we having? Smells good," I said, taking in the heavenly smell. Even Jackie looked in interest at the assorted foodstuffs, her nose twitching like mad and for a moment forgot her silent battle of wills with Trixie.

True, we may not have won our money, but Moustachio and Pandora had been so impressed with us that they insisted they treat us to a nice, warm meal in their home. After the show wrapped up, they led us to a wagon, not unlike Trixie's in the show, only three times as large and wouldn't you know it, the thing was so much bigger on the inside! I mean, hell, it was pretty much a cozy apartment with all the amenities.

"Well, over here we have a lovely vegetable lasagna, I got the recipe from dear old donkey jenny way back from when I was younger and still traveling with my parents," Pandora explained smiling, her seductive stage demeanor completely replaced by a nonetheless seductive housewife. Fuck, I don't think she even had to work at it. Just came naturally, it seemed. Kinda made me wonder if could take a page or two from her book. That way I'd be able to turn things around with Zi'. "This here is a dish from Griffonstone, something you need to have a beak to pronounce it right I think but in essence, it is cooked meat in a coat of cabbage."

That earned her a surprised gasp from me and a raised eyebrow from little Jackie as we stared at the off green rolls swimming in a delicious smelling, dark sauce.

"Of course, I had to replace the meat with a substitute but I found that a little something called tofu from Neighpon works just as well, if correctly seasoned." Pandora explained, a bit of mirth in her voice at our reactions. "For dessert, we have this lovely little sin from Prance. It is called Crème d´ Amande, essentially a light, fluffy crème made from almonds with a hint of caramel sauce as a topping."

"Wow. You guys have been all over, haven't you?" I asked.

"We do get around," Pandora said smoothly as she took a seat beside Moustachio and used her magic to manipulate the serving utensils, doling out a healthy portion of food for Jackie and I before serving her brood and herself. "It's not all a vacation and traveling so much can wear on you, but it's all been worth it."

"I'll say," I said after sampling the lasagna. "What you guys did out there was amazing. I've literally never seen anything like it."

"You're too kind," Pandora said sweetly. "We're trying to pass this on to Trixie as well, you see."

"Is that so?" I looked to the showpony, who was mid-chew and froze as the topic changed to her.

"Aye, but there is only so much Trixie can learn while she is with us," Moustachio said, his portion of lasagna pretty much half the dish itself. "That is why we insisted she go and travel by herself, so that she may see and discover new things and that she may learn what it is to be a true showpony."

By this point, Trixie's coat color was steadily receding, her pupils shrunk to pinpricks and the food in her fork lazily trailed down into the table.

"Oh rea~aally," I said with a barely restrained evil grin. "And how did that go?"

But before either Moustachio or Pandora could respond, Trixie broke out of her stupor. "M-mother, father!" She nearly jumped over the little table. "Must we have this discussion again? And even in front of Sorba?"

Well, whatever that weird word just meant, it seemed to set of Moustachio like a rocket. "Beatrix Horizon Lulamoon! Watch your tongue in front of our guests! You are dishonoring yourself and your family when you resort to such foul words!" The mountain of a pony boomed, causing his miserable progeny to shrink back into her cushion. After that, he turned to Jackie and Me, an apologetic expression on his face. "I wish to apologize for my daughters poor choice of words."

"Hmm, what exactly did she just called us?"

"This... word means a lot of things in the tongue of the Roani but none of them are to be spoken in polite company. Basically, it is a derogatory term for all Non-Roani." Pandora told us, shooting her daughter dearest a look that could have pierced the heavens with ease. "Beatrix, apologize!"

"Someone's a sore loser," Jackie muttered, almost too low to hear, focusing on her meal, not paying much attention to the little drama unfolding before her.

Looking like she just had been condemned to swallow her body weight in slug slime, Trixie or rather Beatrix, visibly fought with her demons Pride and Prejudice before gulping audibly, her ears folded back and she dipped her head ever so slightly before she mumbled half-assed, "Trixie apologizes..."

Well, that seemed like the best I would get so I graciously accepted, but not without adding Trixie´s name to my personal shit list. I just knew the perfect little opportunity to "by chance" run into her again. Time to massively mess with the show´s timeline!

"Well, back to our topic, I take it that your daughter did not like that idea too much, hm?" I asked between two forks of lasagna. "I know the feeling, the pet of the family vehemently fighting against leaving the nest. Well, good thing your trailer does not have a basement so Trixie won´t end up as a basement dweller," I idly said, my words doing a piss poor job in hiding the knives in them and Trixie grew so red I'm surprised steam didn't come out of her ears.

"Trixie will have you know that she is not afraid to leave on her own, she merely has not found the opportunity to do so yet. She will need her own trailer, furniture and the likes. All those things take time to gather, not to mention that it is an important part of a Roani´s life to leave the fold, something that is not to be rushed!" Missus powder blue and bitchy said haughtily, nose high in the air.

"Trixie, honey," Pandora said delicately, though there was an undercurrent of sharpness in her words. "You could have done that anytime you wished. You've been traveling with your father and I for the last year, actively partaking in our show now and every show you get your portion of the earnings. Perhaps if you managed to save your money instead of going off every other day getting hooficures, on spa days or shopping trips..."

"T-that's... I need to do that mother! You said a showpony must keep a clean, trimmed and appropriate appearance. That's the reason I go out and..." Man, it was both amusing and a little sad to see her try so desperately to come up with that bull. But amusing, mostly.

"I dunno," Jackie said to my surprise, cutting in. "Seems like your mom and pops do pretty good without getting involved in all that shopping nonsense. Are you sure you're not just sloppy with your money?"

Trixie looked ready to explode. "Q-quiet, you. A pint size of a pony such as yourself should know better than to speak that way to your elders."

"You remember what she did to that mammoth weight, don't you?" I offered my thoughts while putting my plate aside to allow Pandora to serve dessert. My totally subtle threat seemed to have fallen on fertile ground as Trixie shut her snout rapidly, opting to shoot seething glares towards my person and Jackie for the remainder of the quite nice dinner.

"You know, dear," Pandora said as she served a generous amount. "Perhaps it would do you good to tweak your act a bit. I mean, I know we've talked about this before, but are you sure you don't want to change your wardrobe? You do have such a good figure and that stuffy cape does you no favors. Perhaps something that can help accentuate your flank and your hind legs? I think you would look lovely in something with a long slit half the way up to your Cutie Mark, just the right amount of sex appeal without looking cheap. Maybe something in burgundy velvet?"

Oh, that was just too good! I had to clamp my jaws shut in order not to spray half-chewed food all over my hosts and the table. Trixie herself was doing as spot-on impersonation of a fire hydrant, spluttering incomprehensive babble and flailing her front hooves.

Heh, can you spell 'Tsundere'?

"For the last time mother, no! I will not change my wardrobe. If I am to be successful it will be because of my talent, not parading myself in front of the drooling masses!" The hotheaded pony declared indignantly.

Pandora sighed, probably expecting things to go this way. "Very well, Trixie. It's your choice. I do have to try, though," she muttered the last part under her breath as she finished serving dessert. Deciding it was in her best interest to change the topic, she then said, "So Umbra. Tell me, are you and Pretty Prancer from Yule or just visiting?"

Weighing my options, I decided to troll Trixie just a little bit more. "We're from Ponyville, actually," and no sooner did I say it that Trixie went pale as a ghost. "And you know, it just so happens that Trixie paid a visit way back. Put on a show and everything." I refrained from smirking evilly.

"Really now?" Moustachio asked, his salt and pepper moustache holding on to random specks of the cream. "And how did our dearest Trixie perform?"

By this point, Trixie shook her head desperately, eyes wide, almost watery and pleading.

"Well, it sure was a good show but the aftermath was what really will be remembered for generations to come, that you can bet on." I smirked, showcasing my teeth in a predatory way. "I mean, the way she humiliated the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony on stage, only to have to run with her tail between her legs as everything came crashing down on her head in the form of an Ursa Minor and she could not live up to her own tales... well. Luckily, Twilight Sparkle was able to save what the rampaging monster left of the town."

"I'm sorry... what?" Pandora asked, at a loss of words for the first time. Trixie's visage bordered on murderous at this point and Jackie watched with interest and no small amount of satisfaction. To both her and Trixie's dismay they'd both found themselves sitting next to each other at the table and throughout had been shooting each other hidden and not so hidden snooty looks and pointed glares.

"Yeah, wouldn't you know it..." I proceeded to give them a very thorough briefing on the events that happened that day, watching as their faces processed different emotions ranging from anger, disappointment, doubt and grudging acceptance. Jackie just seemed to find the whole thing amusing and by this point, Trixie had receded into herself, trying to look as small as possible.

"I can't believe it. I simply can't." Pandora said, elbows on the table and supporting her head with both hooves. Moustachio stood as still like a granite statue. "Trixie, is this true?"

The mare in question gave a small 'Eep' and a nod, the motion so miniscule that one could think she was afraid that it could shatter the very fabric of time and space. She didn't not even dare to as much as glance into her father's direction.
She licked her lips nervously. "D-daddy, I..."

"No, Trixie. We'll have words later." Moustachio said with a tone of finality and Trixie deflated like a balloon.

"In all fairness, I think what Trixie did was brave." Amusing as it was to watch the events of Boast Busters come back to bite her, I did feel just a tad bit bad. "I mean, yeah, she screwed up more than a little, but come on, she actually held her ground and tried to fight off an angry Ursa. And yes, she failed spectacularly, but how many ponies could say they would do the same in that situation?"

"You... have a point." Moustachio admitted, staring thoughtfully at his progeny.

"Besides, it's all in the past. It may surprise you to hear this, but things like that happen in Ponyville like every other week. I betcha by now everyone's forgotten all about it."

This served to somewhat mollify our hosts and we were able to move from this line of talking and on to more pleasant topics. Of course, having already finished our meal, Trixie and Jackie soon grew restless. Trixie, probably because she was ticked off at me spilling what happened and still seemed a little meek where her parents were concerned. Jackie... well, she didn't seem to want to be dragged into conversation and merely did her best to stop looking utterly bored, though as time passed, it became increasingly clear she grew more and more fidgety and so I decided it for the best that we pay our goodbyes.

"Must you be leaving so soon?" Pandora asked.

"Unfortunately," I said as I donned my hat. "It's getting late and I gotta get this little one back home," I gestured to my ponified friend, rubbing her noggin and received a halfhearted slap on my hoof.

"Since you said you are just visiting, are you staying in a hotel around here?" Pandora asked while starting to do the dishes.

I was about to say yes but a certain pint-sized pony was faster.

"Well, we would but a certain someone managed to get pick pocketed while dragging my ass from food stand to food stand, throwing gold left and right," Jackie snarked, shooting me a pointed look while she fidgeted to get herself back into her own clothes.

My face heated up as I felt my tongue tie itself into a knot. Damn brat!

"Hmm, so the two of you are completely out of money, yes?" Moustachio asked, raising an eyebrow. Behind him, I spied Trixie snickering behind her hoof but only after she made sure neither her mom or her dad would notice. Just you wait, lady!

"Yes..." I admitted, hanging my head in shame.

"Well then, this won´t do at all. We cannot in good coincidence have two brave mares without any money to rent a room for the night." Mister Beefcake said, more to himself while rubbing his chin with a hoof. Then he turned his head into his wife's direction. "Pandora, my dearest flower, would you kindly?"

"Of course, my handsome husband," the mare in question replied sweetly, her horn once again lit with her magic.
From somewhere, a sizable bag floated right in front of me and from it, I could hear the unmistakable clinking of gold. "Wha~" is pretty much all I could utter.

"Take it. It's yours," Pandora said kindly. Trixie looked like she so wanted to protest. Her cheeks swelled like balloons and her face steadily grew redder and that vein of doom was back again, pulsing full force. Thankfully, she knew better than to raise up a stink, considering how deep in the red she already was with her parents.

"But... why?" I blurted out.

"Why not? Our little contest ended in a tie, true, but the two of you proved yourselves on that stage. You, specifically, my dear. Tell me, was that your first time performing in front of an audience?" I nodded. "Then you are a very brave pony indeed. Not many have what it takes to get onstage to be judged by the masses. Consider it a gift. You and your friend have more than earned it."

Gawd, why am I getting so choked up? Almost, imperceptibly, my eyes stung and my breath hitched as I stared at Pandora's kind face. "This..." I swallowed. "This is more than I expected. I-it means a lot to me. Thank you," I said almost shyly and reached out slowly with a trembling hoof to take the little bag... only for it to be swiped right before my eyes!
"What the..." Following the little bag of stolen moolah, my eyes landed on Jacqueline, holding my stolen prize to her chest and looking at me in defiance. "The hell do you think you're doing, brat?!" I couldn't help but exclaim.

"Keeping it safe. You can't be trusted with money, so I'll be holding on to it," she said bluntly.

Moustachio exploded in booming guffaws while Pandora fell into a unmistakable noblewoman laugh and even Trixie began cackling in a way that made one think of brooms, flying monkeys and pointy, black hats.

Stewing in my own embarrassment, I glared at Jackie, who returned my death rays in absolute nonchalance. Thankfully, the amusement did not last long(except Trixie´s) and so we bid our goodbyes, finally departing the mobile homestead.

°°°

A short trot later and the two of us stood in front of a hotel Trixie´s parents recommended to us. It was a huge building with the promising name 'The Royal Sisters' Haven'.

I whistled in appreciation. Pretty ritzy hotel they got here. Again, I couldn't help but shake my head in wonder at how such an isolated city in these inhospitable conditions could be so advanced. From what I gathered from Pandora and Moustachio, Yule had been built in Equestria's northeastern tip, just a few miles from the sea that separated the land from its sister continent. Thing about Yule, seeing how it was so freaking cold, the waters more to the north had remained frozen for the last tens of thousands of years or so and it was by this bridge of ice that the ponies were able to install rail lines that traversed the continent all the way to Griffonstone, which lay to the east of Equestria. This meant that a majority of the trade between the grifs and the pon-pons made its way across Yule and that gave rise to a big, rich, multicultural city, even if it lay in the middle of a frozen wasteland.

At this point, I didn't really care and only thanked the stars that we'd be able to escape the cold. Already nightfall, even the protective dome that encircled the city was not enough to keep the cold from biting through my layers and Jackie's teeth were long since rattling like maracas.

Bursting through the front doors, we were greeted to a most spectacular sight. Floors of polished marbled echoed our footsteps, of so fine a quality that we could see our own reflections in them. Rich, wooden furniture dotted the lobby. None of those mass produced, commercially available sofas and chairs you see so often and give you a bad back, no siree. Everything here had the markings of being... uh, handcrafted for lack of a better word. Rugs and tapestries depicted several images. Some featuring moonbutt and sunbutt, others the city of Yule from a bird's eye view. Others had scenic mountain scapes or ponies who were probably important for some reason or another. Case in point there was one word to describe it all: swag.

Approaching the teller, we booked a room, cost us only four hundred bits, and a very helpful bellboy or whatever he was showed us to our quarters for the night. The inside of the rooms were no less spectacular. Hell, it put my awesome chambers in the tower to shame. There was a fountain. A freaking fountain right in the middle of the room, for chrissakes!
I bounded inside like a Tiny Tim ready to tear into a Christmas ham. There was a kitchen. Not like a pissy little kitchenette, but a full kitchen. The pantries were stocked with all sorts of goods. Nothing too perishable, but it was impressive nonetheless. Pasta, rice, dried hay, beans, meals in a can and the snacks... by the gods, the snacks! Pretty much anything you could want was in there. Chocolates, cookies, crackers and pastries and some things that looked a little more foreign like pickled mangoes, crystallized pineapples and dates.

"Odin's swag, this is incredible! Don't you think so, Jackie?" Girl didn't respond and she wasn't beside me either. Where...
I trotted back to the entrance and was surprised to see she'd only barely made it past the doorway. She examined her surroundings with a strange look. I couldn't pinpoint it, really. I don't think she even registered I was there either and me, I couldn't make sense of it. I opened my mouth, about to call to her when she took some hesitant steps forward.

"Gawd, I feel like I'm gonna break something." she muttered, warily eyeing an ornate crystal vase full to the brim with flowers.

"Well come on, girl, let's go see our digs." I called out cheerfully, startling her. Whatever funk she was in, she managed to shake it off and followed suit. The bed, to my delight, was as big as the one in my tower. Good thing too, since I tend to toss and turn a lot and... man! I swear they put my already sweet bed to shame. I jumped in immediately, squealing in delight like a little kiddie. Not sooner as my hooves made contact with the coverlet, I began to sink into it almost to my... ankle... things... Where they called ankles for a horse too or was there another specialized word? I had to ask Lyra about that later.

"Hooo boy, this is su~weet! It´s almost like a cloud!" I grinned my biggest, dumbest grin before an impulse began to make itself known. It started out as a weak call in the back of my mind that soon intensified as it traveled to my legs and before I knew it, I was already bouncing up and down on the unbelievable soft bed. "Jackie, girl, you have to try this, it´s great!"
I heard some halfhearted shuffling and when I looked over, the girl had already dropped her pony 'guise and now stood on her human form.

"Come on, live a little." I said playfully and hurled one of the pillows at her. She didn't bother dodging, or doing much of anything, really.

"So... there's a problem here." she said.

I barely suppressed a groan and like her, reverted to my humanoid form. "Alright, what is it?"

"Morons," she muttered. "We paid for two beds didn´t we?"

"And?"

"There's only one."

It took me a moment but eventually I chuckled, causing Jackie´s face to sour even more. "No, they got it right. We booked a room for two, did we not? See, ponies are incredibly social creatures from what I could glean from my loyal horsy lackey and this here, my dearest Jackie, is in fact a two pony bed. Sleeping in the same bed, snuggling and whatnot is considered a social norm for two ponies, more so when they apparently are traveling together like we do." I patted the coverlet, smirking cattish "Why? Is something the matter? Afraid to get cooties from widdle old me? Come on, we can share. I promise I'll sleep with all my clothes on. Can't promise I won't cuddle, though."

She groaned almost imperceptively and turned. "I'll just... I dunno. Take the sofa or whatever." She promptly started to walk out and I couldn't help but feel more than a little annoyed. Darkness, why is this girl so... stubborn? Well, that lasted only for a heartbeat as an idea suddenly popped into my head. Jumping up off the bed, I dashed forward and grabbed ahold of Jackie, easily hoisting her over my shoulder, much to her surprise.

Acting quickly I doubled back and threw her on the bed, joining her quickly enough with a shit eating grin.

"What is wrong with you?!" Jackie nearly screeched, her face beet red for some reason or another.

Reaching for one of the big, plush pillows, I slightly closed my eyes as I locked on my target. "A lot of things but none of them are relevant to this situation."

That, she seemed to register because a look of alarm, disbelief and indignation bloomed on her face. "Oh no, you are not... don´t even think about..."

POMF!

The pillow made contact with Jackie´s face in a oh-so-satisfying way, the sweet sound of fluffy fluffness colliding with a sourpuss never ceasing to bring joy to my little, black heart.

"Pillow fight!" I declared, cackling like a madwoman and gathering all pillows I could get my mitts on as ammo.

"You... pffht... you can´t be serious?" The baffled girl asked me, trying to get a stray feather out of her mouth.

"Nope, I´m fucking Severus!" was my only reply. Well, that and another volley of pillows that hit Jackie straight in the face again. Wow, even drunken golems could dodge better than her.

"What is wrong with you?" Red-faced Jacqueline demanded to know as she removed the latest projectiles from her face. "You are a grown woman or at least you are supposed to be one! S-stop acting like a child for crying out loud."

Instead of answering to that, I puffed up my cheeks in mock-indignation but only for a moment before I used the faux feeling of security I so dastardly lulled my victim in to deliver the mother of all pillow blows with my last projectile. Then, I pounced, bowling little Miss Grumpy Pants over in the process, eliciting a very cute squeak of surprise from Jackie. Heh, that had to be the most feminine and childlike tone I had heard from her since we knew each other.

"What the bloody fuck?!" The squirt hissed, her cheeks burning so red hot, they were probably on the verge of turning white, flailing her arms around like a epileptic squid.

"Baby Jesus on a pogo stick, you seriously need to lighten up and live a fucking lot, girl." I playfully replied from my position on top of her, my smile nearly splitting my face before I reached down and tussled the almost rats nest Jackie called her hair.

Seeing the little Tsundere struggle and squeak in protest, a truly devious idea spawned in my noggin. Following that deliciously evil inspiration, I leaned down, puckering my lips much to Jackie´s growing horror if her widening eyes where anything to go by and the warbled attempts at speech leaving her mouth. Closing in the last few centimeters I could really feel the heat radiating from Jackie´s cheeks before I planted a playful kiss on her forehead.

Pulling back my face, I stuck out my tongue at the flabbergasted girl. "Thought I was gonna smooch ya, hn?" I asked her, basking in the look of sheer WTF on Jacqueline's face.

An awkward silence permeated the room and despite my broad grin, I just knew then and there I majorly screwed up. Jackie'e eyes were wide, her pupils shrunk and where not a moment ago she'd been sputtering with anger and indignation, now her features remained unnervingly blank. I laid there, still holding on to her arms and for the first time, was at a loss what to do. Anger, bashfulness, indignation... those I could work with but her utter stillness caught me unprepared.

Well, that didn't last long. Jackie's features flared, her eyes burned and her teeth bared in a snarl. Faster than I could react, she yanked free and with a gut wrenching cry, slugged me right in the kisser with the mother of all haymakers. My world exploded with pain as the sheer force behind that pale, bony fist of hers sent me flying backwards and well into the air. Even as I hit the floor I still skidded backwards until a hard cabinet stopped my trajectory and a lump quickly swelled on my noggin. Of course, I barely had time to register this, much less the sound of feet pattering away, past a door and the sound of a lock.

I considered going in after her, but that would probably just make things worse. Nice, Umbra. Real nice. You have an opportunity to make a friend and you manage to go and cock it all up.

°°°

Oh, baby. I had to admit, when the squirt paid four hundred bits for a room, I'd already been planning her funeral procession, but I had to admit, it had all been worth it. Yeah, you'd think shelling out that much gold for a couple of nights would be akin to extortion, but the baths alone made the whole experience worthwhile.

Usually, when you pay that much cash for a room, you'd think you'd get the penthouse or something. Well, seeing how Yule was situated in the middle of a frozen wasteland, higher altitudes like, say, a penthouse suite, meant more energy had to go to keep the room warm. Luckily, the hotel had been built right on top of a natural reservoir of hot springs.

They did the job in keeping the lower levels toasty and warm even on the most frigid of days, and if that wasn't enough, it just so happened that the room Jackie got for us came with its own feed of those hot springs.

It was a circular room, connected to one of the bathrooms with a similarly spherical pool of hot, steaming water. Marbled tiles, polished to perfection, engraved with floral designs dotted the floor and surrounding the small pool were pillars that resembled that of ancient Greece. Further adding to the atmosphere was a sweet scent, probably potpourri, that wafted through the humid air and the warmth of the spring water filled the chamber with a constant, hazy mist.

About an hour passed since that little episode with Jackie. Against my best wishes, I backed off and instead of making a bigger idiot of myself, I decided to give her some space and hopefully, she'll come back on her own.

So now I returned to the hot springs, naked save for a towel carelessly tossed around my shoulders. Dipping in a toe, the temperature passed inspection and with a nod, I just started to slide in when a very unexpected voice called out.
"Good God, woman, cover yourself."

My head snapped up and sure enough, there she was. Jackie sat on the opposite side of the little pool, in as naked a state as me but with a towel still wrapped around her chest to protect her modesty. Kinda cute.

"W-what are you doing here?" I asked, half stumbling while hastily moving to cover up the goods. She turned her head back to me now, cheeks slightly flushed. Whether this was due to seeing me in all my bare glory or the heat and steam of the room was unclear.

"Bathing." was the sole reply.

I couldn't help but fidget awkwardly. Not that long ago she resembled a cornered little rabbit and now, her grey eyes met mine with a stony look. She still appeared somewhat guarded

Deciding it would make no difference if I stayed out of the inviting water seeing as I already had one leg up to my knee in or not, I gave a sheepish smile, nodding towards the water. "Uhm, mind if I...?"

"Knock yourself out." Came the reply, Jackie now not really looking at me but rather studying something in the water.

With a silent sigh of acceptance, I carefully climbed in the pool and boy, it was bliss! The temperature was just perfect and inside the tub, there where even little bench thingies to sit on. I idly rubbed my lips where Jackie's fist struck. That hurt and bled like a mother for a couple of minutes but thankfully, that enhanced Overlord healing kicked in and though my lips were still a bit swollen and numb, the pain was all but gone.

"It's nice, isn't it?" She asked, her tone suggesting she didn't particularly care about the answer. "I told you I went to a spa in Ponyville, right? Had a hot tub and everything, but this is way better."

"A spa?"

She nodded. "I went in disguised as a pony and somehow, Twilight Sparkle and her other unicorn friend rope me into going with them. Fuckin' random ponies..."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, they can be. So how was it?"

She shot me a droll look. "Didn't we go over this already? Neanderthal. Split me. Cock."

"Wait, what?"

A rueful grin stretched across her face. "Yeah, I didn't tell you much about the 'verse you pulled me out of, did I? Well, get this." She then proceeded to tell me how our two universes differed. Hot damn if it wasn't hard to believe. I mean, a race of stupid, animal-like humans playing the part of pets to cuddly little ponies? Yikes! Planet of the Ponies, much?
"So then the little bitch wants to try and help me relax and how does she go about it? She leases one of the spa's humans to go and show me a good time right then and there. Never even told me about it."

"Wow."

"Right? So, as you can imagine, I didn't take it all that well."

"You didn't, uh..." I hesitated.

"What?"

"Kill anyone?"

"Unfortunately no," she replied with a wry smile. I tentatively took this as a good sign. "I threw some things at Rarity. Scored a few hits too, maybe wrecked the place up a bit, destroyed a fair number of spa products... well, could have been worse," she trailed off and looked at the ceiling.

We stayed silent for a bit, though it didn't seem to bother her, and while I too was tempted to just lay back and relax, I simply had to ask. "Hey. Uh, we're okay, right?"

"Hm?" She grunted and eyed me with a half-lidded gaze.

"Back there, in the room, I... I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine. Forget it," she said flippantly.

Oh, that was quick. "So you're not mad at me?"

"Nope," she said, still not looking at me. "I... kinda overreacted, I'll admit. I'd rather just forget it did happen at all."

I... guess that's fine? "Right, sorry," I said awkwardly. "I just kinda thought that—well, I don't know but I just assumed that probably, maybe, you were," At this point I was literally wringing my hands together, not sure how to delicately touch this. "I dunno. That maybe someone tried to force himself on you," I ended with a weak chuckle.

Her reaction was curious to say the least. She straightened up and looked at me with wide, baffled eyes. Heck, her towel very nearly slid off before catching it and securing it across her torso. Uhh, and now I feel like a perv... just couldn't help but give a quick glance at her puppies. Not bad. Anyway...

"No! God no, that's not it at all. What gave you that idea?"

"Weeell, because you kinda reacted like a rape victim?" Not sooner as I finished this very sentence my eyes went wide and I clamped my jaws shut. Could I have phrased this any more bluntly?

To my surprise, she actually chuckled. Hell, I'd daresay it could almost be a giggle. "Yeah, I kinda did," she said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "It's stupid, really."

Well, she didn't seem to hold a grudge or anything. That's good, right? Seeing how this was the case, I slowly edged closer to her, becoming a bit more bold when she didn't shy away. "So why did you?"

"Like I said, it's stupid."

"Well, it's just the two of us here. I promise I won't tell," I said with a smile and did that zipper thing with the lips.

She regarded me curiously, like an entomologist who'd come across a particularly strange breed of tree. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," I said playfully, along with the necessary motions. She looked at me like I was mental. Well, only for a moment and she was not that far off but anyways.

She expelled a breath like a balloon. "If you must know... Christ, I can't believe I'm saying this," she muttered, rubbing her forehead. "You kinda caught me off guard?"

"Huh?"

"You..." She paused, possibly looking for the right words. "Look, I'm not a girly type of girl."

"I've noticed." Neither was I for that matter.

"I don't do all that huggy, kissy thing you pulled off. And when you went and pulled an awful, cliched moment from a crappy Japanese anime, I just really didn't expect it, 'kay? I'm... I'm not used to that, is all."

I couldn't help but bark out a brief laugh, relieved I didn't screw up nearly as much as I thought I did."Well, no d´uh but a fair warning ahead. If you are to hang with me for a longer period of time, you will have to get used to my random shit. Oh, and pop culture references. A whole fucking lot of pop culture references."

A small smile graced her face. "I guess it's too much to ask I meet a normal person for a change, eh?"

"Sorry girl," I said with a wink. "What you see is all you get."

Yep, another little chuckle from her. Well, not exactly the way I imagined I'd get her to ease up a little, but whatever works.

"But we're okay though, right?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

"In that case, you wouldn't mind if I took this off?" And before she could respond, I whipped off my towel carelessly throwing it over my shoulder, landing on the floor with a wet splat but I did not care. We paid royally so I could full well behave like a snooty Kardashian or Hilton or some other rich brat I would stab, shoot, run over with my car and then loot their corpses of anything of value, in that exact same order. Seeing how I was sitting more or less straight and being considerably taller than the brat, this left my chest very much exposed and Jackie quickly darted her head away with a small groan.

"Must you really do that?"

"Hey, don't go all prude on me. You should try it too. You can really feel the water without that stuffy towel in the way."

"Yeah... no," she said flatly after pretending to think it over.

I shrugged. "Suit yourself," I said and leaned back, relaxing on the edge of the bath, shooting her my best, cocky, daring smirk, returning her half scowl with a shit-eating grin. Come on, girl. Come on over to the dark side, we have fucking cookies!

Jackie's eye twitched, her gaze never straying from my own. Whatever battle of will was going on, it seemed the brat cracked, for with a frustrated sigh, she said, "Fine!" And followed, suit, discarding her towel and leaving herself in the buff. Eh, she still had an arm protecting her little, or not so little, muffins. Oh well, progress.

"Happy?" She said in a slightly challenging tone, cheeks already rosy and on their way to becoming full flush.

Giving her my best Molestia smile and a little nod, I replied in a voice dripping with sugar water. "Yes, verily."

"Ugh," she groaned. "Honestly, why are you... You're so... weird."

"And you're a brat."

"At least I have shame."

"Well, no one's perfect. Come on, relax. We have this sweet spot to ourselves. Might as well make the best of it. Speaking of," I licked my lips. "I could really go for something to drink right now."

Reaching behind her, Jackie pulled an honest to goodness little trapdoor on right near the bath and retrieved two glasses, along with an ice cold pitcher of, huh, was that wine or something?

"Gotta give it to the ponies," she grudgingly admitted as she held up the up the bottle containing a rosy pinkish liquid. "They know how to do luxury right. Well, for a backwards, medieval little prey species, at least." Pouring a generous amount, she gave a glass to me and took one for her own.

Giving the concoction a sniff and then a careful sip, I was pleasantly surprised at the faint taste of alcohol, barely there and more fruity than anything and not some fru-fru champagne. Blegh, I wouldn´t even scrub the floor with that stuff.

"Hey, cut them some slack, girl. They were spawned from the concept of a show appealing to little girls, for crying out loud and the cosmic forces keeping the Multiverse running just took it up and blew life into it. Would you rather have them be some kind of Berserk or Claymore-like beasties that try to rape you into a bloody pulp or try to feast on your quivering guts while you are still alive?" I asked, swirling the pink drink in my glass in a way of faux class before draining almost half of it in one go. After refilling it, Jackie and I lounged in a comfortable silence, enjoying the water and company. I couldn't help but notice, and to my amusement, that the girl was obviously a lightweight when it came to handling her alcohol.
Her posture relaxed noticeably the more she drank, her eyelids drooped and a rosy tint spread across her cheeks.

"What?" She asked all of a sudden.

"Huh?" Crap, I was staring, wasn't I? "Sorry, kiddo. Just wondering," I half lied.

"About what?" She took another sip, only to find her glass empty. Her brow furrowed lightly, somewhat annoyed and poured herself another generous helping.

"Easy there, girl. You don't wanna overdo it," I said in a mildly chiding tone, the words escaping my mouth before I could even register them. Couldn't tell why, really. If she wanted to drink, then let her. Not like I'm her mom or anything.

"Just a little more," she said, her words slightly slurred and took a hearty gulp. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"At least you're enjoying yourself." She gave a noncommittal grunt. This brought forth something that had been lingering on the back of my mind. "So tell me, my new, underage drinking buddy. How was your first foray into Ponyland? Wait, let me guess. You woke up in Ponyville, is that about right?"

She blinked. "How did... uh, yeah. That's it."

I held up a finger. "Alright, alright, let me guess. So right after you woke up, you ran into one of the Mane Six, is that right?" Yep, I definitely hit the nail on the head, for her eyes shot open in surprise before nodding slowly.
"And after you met said pony, you then went on to live with Twilight Sparkle, is that it?"

"So, so. You left out everything that happened in between."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Well, there was the time I got knocked out, kidnapped, thrown in a cage and about to be shipped like a common animal across state lines to some asshole pony who thought to make a profit out of me or something."

"Ehh, wut?" I asked oh-so-eloquently. I admit, Jackie took me by surprise then and there but she did not seem to register my question, for she downed the whole of her drink and filled it full to the brim, the liquid sloshing messily over the water. Not that she seemed to mind as her cheeks now sported a full on blush and her speech noticeably slurred, the alcohol's effect emboldening her.

"But I broke out. Had to kill a couple of the little beasts but I got out. Damn, that was messy. Got blood all over me," she said with distaste, nose wrinkling at the memory. "And this other guy, he kinda surprised me so I broke his neck and buried him out in the forest. Don't think anyone found him and don't even get me started on the wildlife. Fuckin' manticores and wood wolves and craggadiles trying to get up in my business. Think they're hot shit and all until you peel off their skin, turn them inside out or burn them alive." She chuckled. An unsettling sound that gave me a queasy feeling on the stomach. "And then the Diamond dogs. Stupid things. Ugly, too. Crushed their leader's face with his own hammer until it was nothing but a puddle of goop." She took another swig. "Got my ribs and insides busted, but I showed him what's what." Her features darkened. "And then little princess Sparkle goes and finds me. You know she all but blackmailed and kidnapped me. Forced me to socialize with her minions in the hopes I get reformed or some shit... threatens to throw me in a pony dungeon if I step out of line. Filthy little beasts," she hissed. "God, what I wouldn't give for the opportunity to snap her scrawny little neck."

She took a swig of her drink and emptied it. She reached for the bottle again and I was so tempted to slap it from her grasp. But the alcohol's effects had made her clumsy and so she knocked the bottle of no doubt expensive liquid into the water. She muttered something along the lines of, "Tch. Typical." And to my surprise, she used the arm that kept her puppies modestly covered to try and retrieve it. A pervert I may be but even I had standards and so I quickly averted my gaze, but not before catching a flash of perky, pink nipple. God, I'm awful...

I don't know what was worse. That she committed all these murders or the hint of pride that laced her voice. Chara much? A part of me hoped her claims were exaggeration but judging what I saw in the cave, with yaks and all, I feared it may very well be true.

"That's... Jackie, that's not healthy. You shouldn't talk like that." I couldn't help but blurt out. Girl did not seem to pay me much mind as she now held the bottle to her eyes, seemingly oblivious to the fact her chest was exposed for the world to see. Must not look. Must not look...

"Thanks, mom. I'll take it under advisement once the ponies aren't trying to screw me over." she said condescendingly. She sighed, now aware of the fact her drink was ruined by the bathwater and carelessly tossed the bottle and glass, where they shattered into a million pieces. To my relief, she now noticed her sweater puppies were on full display and hastily covered them, her cheeks now positively flaming.

But even this gave no relief, for Jackie's rant still rang through my mind. I swallowed the heated words and arguments that threatened to spill from my lips. I so wanted grab the girl, shake her repeatedly and maybe beat some sense into her, for all the good it would do. She's stubborn if nothing else.

"Jesus Christ, girl. You almost make me want to take up smoking." I muttered, running a hand over my face.

To my surprise, she barked out a harsh laugh. "Yeah, I'd want to take up smoking as well, considering all the shit I go through."

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" She asked, a hint of venom lacing her tone. "You're ridiculous. You actually seem to like this damned place. I don't see how you could. Everything here is just so... unnatural."

"Unnatural how?" I challenged. Jackie scoffed.

"Gee, where do I start? Common animals possess a degree of sapience, for one. Ponies tend the weather and the world, believing wild sanctuaries like the Everfree Forest, which functions perfectly without their interference, is something to be feared. And don't even get me started on the worthless wildlife. I honestly thought when Rarity tried to explain the concept of Winter Wrap-Up she'd been trying to pull my leg, but no. The little bunnies and birdies and snakies and beavers and racoons and any other number of wild pests that would have belonged in a stew pot or a grill back home were tended to as if they were helpless infants, unable to go through life without the constant, incessant mothering of the ponies. Minotaurs, griffons, hydras, dragons and any number of mythological creatures strutting around as it were the most natural thing in the world. The sun and moon, governed by pastel freakazoids. Love, at the whim and manipulation of an eldritch creature secluded in the Crystal Empire, free to roam around as it sees fit. A little pony princess, governing a backwards mud town in the middle of nowhere. Seven MacGuffin trinkets representing harmony, able to Deus ex Machina anything that stood in their way. My days are spent looking at abrasive, overtly bright colors that no human eye should be forced to take in, while on nights I listen to the retch-inducing lullabies of crickets, melodious winds, pony mothers tucking in their little beasts and it's all I can do to stave off a steadily increasing psychotic break, or to keep from slipping into a diabetic coma." She'd given herself to her full blown rant at this point and even as I listened, appalled, I made a note to keep the girl well and away from alcohol in the future.

At this, I could not held myself back anymore. I let my fist crash down on the tub's edge (damn, that hurt!), leaving a dent in the solid stone. "Well, surprise, so have I!" I hissed, glaring at Jackie "First off, after I crashed face first from high orbit into the Wastelands, I ran into a Unicorn that wanted to dissect me for his bullshit Nazi supremacy plans so I had to off him and his mercs. Afterwards, I had to cut my way through a whole burrow of Diamond Dogs who somehow managed to get their mitts on my Red Minions' nest. After getting killed by their leader, I drowned the fucker in his own fucking smelter after smashing all his ribs... slowly!" I jabbed a finger at the girl opposite of me, then pointing at the three long scars covering my abdomen "See this? This is where a frikking Chimera almost disemboweled me. In my own fucking Tower because it thought it would make a nice new kitty box! It´s pelt now is a nice rug in my bathroom. It´s mate got pounded to paste by my half dragon girlfriend, who by the way nearly went berserk there, not to mention the whole fucking civil war going on in Zinnia´s Verse because some asshole Pokemon is trying to kill everything that moves with lucid nightmares!" I don't think she quite understood that last part but I continued on nonetheless. "Oh, and have I mentioned that almost every single time I leave my tower, I run at risk to be snatched up by bounty hunters because there is a damn bounty on my head from the Princesses themselves?"

"So what's your point?"

"Urgh, Jackie, please." I felt my anger dissolve as fast as it had come. "My point is, that killing might be a necessary thing but you should never ever, under no circumstances, get used to it or let it become your first choice of action. That kind of thinking will take you to a bad place, girl. A place of never-ending darkness that makes the nine circles of Hell look like the Garden of Eden." She seemed to ponder my words, her face nearly expressionless. I stayed silent, allowing her time to reach her own conclusion. I just hope it will be a good one.

A small, barely audible sigh escaped her lips. She avoided eye contact with me. "How'd you do it? Not let it get to you, I mean?"

"Honestly? I dunno. Not really. Your whole life you try to be a decent person, live by certain moral standards. Killing is wrong. Stealing. Bedding your neighbor's wife. Even if said wife is a yummilicious piece of..." I cleared my throat, my cheeks only slightly burning. "Look, what's done is done, squirt and no amount of fairy dust can undo it. All you can do is move past it and strive to be a better person tomorrow where that's concerned."

A disbelieving sound escaped her throat. "Yeah, I might be wrong but I don't think wholesale slaughter is the kind of thing you get better from."

"However you can do it, girl. So long as you put your best foot forward and you're honest about it you'll find your way. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes, there are idiots who deserve a good punch in the snooze. Nothing against a few Renegade points." She still didn't look convinced.

"It happened to me, you know? Back in the day, before all this pony nonsense. There was a time in my life I wasn't a good person, daughter or all around human being, to be honest."

"You?"

I nodded. "Aye. Me, girl. Allow me to tell you a little story. A story about this girl named Sara Schneider. It's not too long." I heaved a sigh and licked my lips. It's not a story I'm particularly fond of. "So you see, there was once this young girl that thought it would be cool to be a rough and tumble gang member, doing drugs and giving people shit just for the hell of it. And so she joined the ranks of a small group that called themselves a gang, even though they were merely more than nuisances at best at this time.

Seeing as she was the only girl in the group, she had to be tougher than all the guys and after busting some heads against walls, several kicks in the crown jewels and the threat to cut some guy's dick off, she was accepted as a full-fledged member. So the girl's days as a street thug began, much to the dismay of her friends and family. Oh, how her mother begged her to stop meeting with these shady people and oh, how her father was furious how his little girl could stray so far from the right path, seeing has he himself had made the exact same mistakes in his life early on, wishing his child not to experience the same things he had to endure, but to no avail.

The girl would hear nothing of that and so she spent her days with her new friends, drinking booze, doing drugs and behaving like the last piece of social refuse in public. They bullied goody-two-shoes, were mean to old people and made fun of everyone in general. Our girl specifically had it out for another girl jogging along the park where the gang hung out every day. Countless were the times she made the jogging girl trip, or how often she threw a half drunk can of beer her way all while shouting obscenities like a sailor.

All of this went on for months, years even until one day, the leader of the gang had the bright idea that the gang should start selling drugs themselves to earn more money. So they, did but the boss soon became their own best customer much to his mens' and our girl's ire but they put up with it, seeing as they still made good money. That is, until the day that our girl and some of the guys went to fetch new booze that the boss, high on drugs, thought it a good idea to get a bit too touchy-feely with the woman of the leader of the local Hell's Angels charter. Yes, it went as well as one could imagine.
The charter's leader rallied all his men, fifty in total, and drove to the little gang's hideout to deliver the punishment for the boss' misdeed. It was just then our girl returned with the booze as the bloody, beaten leader of her gang was bound to a bike which in turn drove off with high speed, the screaming idiot dragged after it towards a gory death. But it did not end there, no. The Hell's Angels leader decided to make an example out of the gang and so, he had his men break the legs of each male member of the girl's gang while she herself received another offer.

Either she were to work the streets for the Angels until the leader deemed it that she had atoned enough for her own leader's misdeed or she were to do each of his men a... favor. Caught between a rock and a loaded gun, our girl decided on the latter. It was not pretty and lasted a whole grueling day but in the end, our girl was let go, broken, defiled, a quivering wreck. After what felt like hours of numb wandering, the girl finally broke down on the side of an often frequented jogging path in her favorite park. She did not knew how long she sat there, sobbing her heart out. It was then that suddenly, she felt someone put something over her shoulders.

Looking up with red, puffy eyes, our girl looked into the face of the one jogger girl she had tormented all this time. This girl right now looked at our girl with nothing but genuine concern on her face, offering her jacket to the sobbing girl as well as a shoulder to lean on. After another seemingly endless while, both girls went to a nearby bakery where the jogger girl, over a cup of coffee and some small baked goodies, silently listened as our girl poured her heart out to her, sniveling apologies to her former victim more often than not.

The jogger girl patiently listened and after our girl finally ended her story, she offered to drive her to the hospital or home first, if the girl preferred. Meekly accepting the saintly offer, our girl asked to be driven home and so it happened, but not before asking one burning question, the question of 'Why?' to which the jogger girl replied that she was a firm believer in that everybody deserved a second chance in life and why not start over now? To that, our girl could only rapidly nod, new tears of gratitude streaming down her cheeks. And this, my dear Jacqueline, is the story of how I became a better person and met my best friend for many years to come, Vivianne. The end."

I drank a big part of my glass as Jackie took in my tale. Her eyes searched mine. For what, I did not know and I could see something stirring behind her façade.

"I like that story." she said at last. Her features soft. She didn't have to say anything. Certainly looked younger that moment than her sixteen years.

"So you see, my dear. If stupid little Sara can bounce back from her poorly thought out life choices, you can too." I tousled her hair gently and for once, she didn't slap me off. Rather, her visage turned ponderous.

"Was it easy? Coming back from all that?"

The ghost of a smile graced my lips but died instantly. "No. No, it was not. It took the better part of five years of therapy until I could let anyone, let alone a man, touch me for longer than three seconds before dissolving into hysterics and for the nightmares to stop." I showed her my left wrist, pointing out a luckily good healed scar that nearly went all the way from my wrist to my elbow. "That was my first attempt, nearly offed myself then. My second try was with sleeping pills but luckily they did not mix well with the other meds I took that time and I threw up most of it. I spent a whole year in the closed section of a psychiatric ward afterwards." I gave a forlorn sigh as I felt my heart ache at the memory. "What really helped me out of there were my parents and my little brother. He is a nuisance most of the time, to cool to do anything like other children his age do but this time, he drew me a picture. Y´know, with crayon and all. It was a picture showing all of us as cats because I really love cats. Complete with a 'Get better soon, Sis' and all. It's still sitting in my drawer back home, last I saw. And that Mom managed to bring me my old Teddy. An old, worn thing really. Was hers before she passed it down to me. Old Fuzzy still has his place on my bed. Well, back home, I mean. And thanks to Vivi, I met a baker's dozen of people who I truly and proudly can call my friends from now on till Ragnarök." My mood almost evaporated as I remembered my current predicament. "Truth be told, I don't know if I'd ever see them all again. Fuck, even if only to say goodbye."

"Do you miss them?"

"Of course I do, girl. I missed them since day one and I still do but it gets easier. A bit like when you move out of home and into your own apartment. I'll probably stay here for a very long time, if not for life. I'll always remember them but I'll allow myself to let go and recall the people they once were."

She grunted. "I had a mom back home too. And a friend. Had some family scattered across the country but I didn't know them all that well."

"It's the one thing they don't prepare you for, being Displaced and all. But I think we've held up pretty good so far."

We were silent for several beats, only the occasional stirring of the water to break it. "Would you go back if you could?" She asked.

"Of course," was my automatic response and yet, a part of me wasn't too sure. I've come into my own being here, for all the hardships it's brought. "And you?"

"In a heartbeat. I was hoping to find some way to do that back in my 'Verse. No luck so far." Watching Jackie's face, I could see her mind was starting to go dark places. Poor girl. Well, there'd be time for that later and though I couldn't exactly help her find a way back home, I'd help her the only way I knew how.

"On a totally unrelated fashion..." I started, glancing at Jackie over the edge of my glass. "Please don't take this the wrong way but I just have to ask you that because the question is nearly killing me by now: Hot Dogs, Fish Taco or both?"

Little Jackie gave me a blank stare. Jeez, guess I had to be blunt again.

"Are you straight, gay or bi?"

"W-what kind of question is that?"

"A simple one," I replied idly. "And I am just asking because the phat smooch you gave me the very moment we met."

She let out a long groan, covering her face. "I was hoping you'd forget that."

"Yeah, no such luck."

"What do you care, anyway?"

"Like I said, idle curiosity."

Looking at me balefully, she said, loud and clear. "Hot dogs, okay? Hot dogs all the way."

"Agh," I exclaimed theatrically and snapped my fingers. "And here I was hoping you played for the other team. Many things I could have shown you, yes."

"I honestly can't tell if you're joking." she muttered, face flushed.

"You'd be surprised. I've had friends I've known for years and they still can't always tell either. But yes, kiddo, I'm joking. Besides, you're a little too young for my tastes. What, you said you were sixteen, right?"

"Almost seventeen." she said quickly.

"Still, I like my partners to be at most three to five years younger than I am. But enough about that. Tell me, and I think I already know the answer to this, was that your first kiss?"

Yep, that did it. If she was already flushed before now she went positively nuclear. Poor girl, she actually dunked her face in the water and didn't come out for almost a minute. Wow, that was some lung capacity. Also, it was almost impossible to not make some cheesy 'Wanna see how long I can hold my breath?' porn jokes right then and there.

"Was it that obvious?" she moaned after emerging from the water again.

"Eh, to me it was," I said and reached over to pat her head. "Hey now, nothing to be embarrassed about. Like I said, you did pretty well. A little practice and you might be a contender for best smoocher in town."

"Could you just shut up?" She practically begged.

Agh, why was it so fun to poke her? Well, I did stop. Or... well, I would. I just had to get one more thing out of my system. I sidled over, wrapping an arm around her, pulling her to my side. "Come on, squirt, lighten up. Like I said, if you're gonna stick around, you better be prepared for a whoooole lotta weirdness and randomness from yours truly. It's all in good fun. Life is grave enough on its own." She still looked sullenly up at me, but made no move to remove herself from my grasp. Heck, even though she still covered her puppies she was more or less relaxed at this point.

"Anyway, good news. I can feel my strength returning. My mana reserves as well and in, oh, a few hours I should be good and ready to go and 'port us back to my Tower. Ohh, you're gonna love it, girl. It's got all the amenities you could want. Well, maybe not as nice as this hotel, and you may want to steer clear of the torture chamber when Gnarl is using it or Gnarl in general but other than that, you're gonna like it, I guarantee," I said enthusiastically and she did seem to perk up a little. "But until then, let's just sit back and relax. Hey, if you're willing, we could even put in a little practice."

"Practice?"

I smiled evilly. "Well, you know..." I licked my my lips and leaned forward, making all sorts of smooching noises and taking glee at the look of abject horror that graced Jackie's face.

I got a slap in the face for my troubles, but it was so worth it.

"Okay, that one, I did deserve."

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed this little quality time between Umbra and Jackie. I know I did.^^

For all of you who are curious about how Umbra knew about Boast Busters without it showing up in the story per se, that question will be answered later on.

19. Mad Cult´s Design

- 19. Mad Cult's Design -

We slept well and soundly that night. After our little heart-to-heart, Jacqueline was now comfortable enough with me that she agreed to share the bed. Didn't stop her from making a cute little barrier down the middle made entirely of pillows to separate our halves. No sooner did we lay down that the previous days' events came back to bite us full force in our sweet asses and we went out almost immediately.

I was the first to wake, well after midday. Consciousness returned slowly, my body still very much groggy even after a full night's sleep. The feathery comforter had more than done its job and despite the snowy weather outside, my body remained enveloped in a lovely cocoon of warmth.

As the haze of sleep gradually lifted from me, I became aware of a very telling sensation that ran through my midsection. I opened my eyes to the sight of two slender arms wrapped around me and a mop of messy black hair.

"Jackie?" I muttered and lightly shook her frame. Girl slept like a rock. Sometime during the night her little pillow barrier had been scattered in all directions and where she set out with the intention of putting some distance between us, now her body was pressed snugly against mine, each of us separated only through a light layer of clothing and our legs had somehow become tangled that were it not for our very contrasting skin tones, I wouldn't be able to tell us apart.

Eh, what the hell. I contented myself by laying back down and simply enjoying the moment. Faint flickers of light trailed from the thick curtains, scattering throughout the large chamber and the contrast of the slightly chilled air and the luxurious warmth beneath the sheets proved mighty tempting to close my eyes and drift off again.

Still, as nice as that would be, first things first. I called upon my mana reserves, pleased to confirm they were almost completely recharged. I now had more than enough juice to 'port us back and forth dozens of times before I started to feel some strain on my reserves.

And yet, I couldn't help but wonder what the next step for us would be. Jackie seemed interested enough in visiting my pad and yes, I kinda just assumed we'd go there, chill for a bit, have a jolly old time and all, but what then? Girl didn't seem to miss or like her old universe very much so... would she stay with me? I... kinda liked the idea. Had to admit I've grown somewhat fond of her. Okay, maybe more than a little but I couldn't help but wonder if I would end up kinda pressuring her to stay with me. Ugh, we'd have to get this sorted out at some point or another.

Well, there's time still. The minutes ticked on and Jacqueline eased her hold on me a little. The spot where our bodies met was still fiery warm. Felt a chill once she pulled away. I made to get up and take a nice long shower and was just wondering if I should wake Jackie up to join me when she started muttering in her sleep, her lips making soft, lazy trails as she muttered a number of unintelligible babble. Aww, she was kinda cu...

"Death to the proletariat..." Aaand she ruined the moment. Yeah, just great, Jackie.

Leaving the little anarchist lie, I slipped into the bathroom for my morning shower. Lots of muscle-soothing, hot water could also help me coming to a decision in my little dilemma regarding Jackie´s stay here.

Heh, I could really see this scene playing out, with me holding tight to Jackie, standing in front of Gnarl and asking him 'She followed me home, can I keep her? Huh? Huh? Can I?'.

Then again, if anything she had told me about her Verse was not extremely excessive, squirt would not take kindly to my special brand of humor.

With a sigh, I undressed and slipped into the shower.

[...]

After I finished my little water orgy (not my water and we paid grand so Wayne), I wrapped myself into a lot of pony sized towels and went back to see if little J was already up and running.

To my delight, Jackie was back into her unintentional cute mode as she seemed to just had set up on the bed, her bedhead looking like she had just jammed a fork into a plug socket, stretching while simultaneously jawing wide. Hell, she even had her tongue poking just the tinniest bit out of her open mouth, making her almost look like a kitten.

A violence prone, slightly nihilistic-anarchistic kitten full to the brim with pony hate and really freaky chaos juju.

Still made me smile like a nerd on a steam games for free day.

"Morning sleepy head." I said cheerfully, leaning against the doors frame.

Jackie grunted, a mouth instantly morphing into a slight frown which seemed to be her default as she extracted herself from the bed. "Morning..." Her eyes where partially hidden behind her mob but I still saw them roaming ever so slightly over my person, followed by averting them and a slight blush.

Geez girl, how did you ever got through the communal showers after sport classes without dying from your head exploding? Maybe they had single person cabins in Amiland?

"Up and at 'em, kiddo. It's a bright new day and we have some things to check out of our list. So get showered, scrub up and maybe I'll fix us up some breaky. My French Toasts are to die for or so I have been told."

She stretched again and the very audible cracking of joints cut the sleepy air like a knife. A very gross knife.

"How are you? Magic wise?"

"Near full to the brim, girl. Now come on, get cleaned up and whatever it is you do on mornings. After that we're gonna swing by my tower."

The prospect seemed to perk her up and despite some groggy, zombie-like shambling on her part, she made her way to the bathroom while I set about cooking us up something to eat. I was no master chef by any means, but living alone you learn quickly to adapt or live out of insta meals for the rest of your life. And breaky wasn't a complicated affair anyway. Eggs, milk, honey, sugar... hell I even spied some sausages way at the back of the fridge, obviously for griffons and the like. Hot dog!

A short time later and Jackie stepped out, fresh and scrubbed while I'd just finished putting the finishing touches on our meal. Scrambled eggs, sausage and yummilicious French Toast, powdered with fine sugar, a nice little bowl of whipped cream provided by the awesome housekeeping ponies (gotta make sure to leave them a big tip), OJ and milk to complete the spread and when she laid eyes on the spread, her stomach was quick to voice its protests as to why the food was still there and not traveling down her gullet.

So we feasted with minimal talking. I too had been particularly hungry and so we set about to more or less stuffing our faces. Man, what would Mom or someone like Rarity have said if they saw us... hell, we even made a bit of a contest of it, seeing who could shove more food in their mouths. I won, obviously, for... reasons that should become apparent.

When that was done and the plates cleared away, it was time to address the issue of my new pal's hairdo. Surprise, surprise, she all but admitted to basically running her fingers through her mop each morning as part of a 'combing', without even bothering to look in a mirror. So after some cajoling and a little bit of bribing, I managed to sit her in front of a vanity and, with a trusty brush in hand, set about to correcting the rat's nest nestled atop her head. Hell, even I'm a bit of a tomboy and never paid as much attention to my hair as most other women, but this was ridiculous. First brush practically tore as I fruitlessly tried to untangle her knots but after several minutes of continuous strokes, her wild hair slightly tamed so that it could be called, messily organized, if such a thing existed.

"Holy stoned Jesus rocking at Woodstock girl! I have brushed honest to goddess horses whose manes and tails where practically silky smooth compared to the thing on your head." Another brush stroke, another tangle and I felt my argument cemented. "Seriously, Jackie, just a few strokes with a proper brush each morning and this would never had come to be."

"Well, sorry Mom that not everyone had the obvious luxury that others seemed to be gifted with after getting dumbed into this sucrose nightmare." Little miss grumpypants shot back between wincing and squirming on her chair.

"Ah ah ah, none of that sass now!" If she went as far as calling me 'Mom', then I could full well answer in kind. "This is all on your head, literally." Another set of quite brusque strokes and I set the brush down on the vanity. "See, there we go," I told the squirt in a warm tone as she glared into the mirror in a way that could probably sent a hungry Cockatrice running.

Brushing my fingers through her hair, a malicious smile graced my lips. "Now, what can we do with this? Braids maybe?" I held a length of now visibly less wild hair out, giving it a first few turns before letting it go. "Or maybe we can do something with the bangs? You have such nice eyes Jackie, that is when you not try to ignite people with your glare."

Then my eyes fell onto the small but obviously high quality assortment of make-up stuffs sitting on the vanity. Now, I never used more than some eyeliner, blush or even the odd bit of lipstick back in my day but I still had my fair share of experience with my female friends.

Taking a hold of a small golden tube containing some sort of lipstick (Appelosa Sunrise if the label was something to go by) and screwed it out a bit. "Hmm, nice color. Maybe a decent amount of blush and something of this... hm, I wonder if there is some eye liner or eyeshadow?" I idly commented while I leaned over Jackie´s shoulder. "Why dear, I think you would positively ravishing. Sure to turn the head of every male and female on the streets."

Oh I would have paid a million cash for just one peek in little Jaqueline's noggin then and there. Her eyes went wide and her mouth froze in that disbelieving expression as I brought the lipstick playfully towards her lips as first, all the color drained from her face only for Jackie to explode bright red.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?"

"Why nothing, my dear, Jackie. Just gonna see if we can make you more pretty, slash, cuddleable than you already are." I brought the lipstick close until a hand shot out to stop me.

"Yeah, no. Thanks but no thanks."

"C'mon, girl. It won't bite or anything. In fact, you may find you actually like it."

"If you like it so much, do it on yourself." Quick as a viper, her remaining arm stretched, a lipstick with a frilly, pink color in her grip, making its way to my precious mug. With a strangled noise, I barely managed to avoid it. Scratch that, I did not manage to avoid it and now a smear of pink stretched from my lip almost all the way to my ear in a twisted, half-assed Joker smile.

"Looks good on you. Brings out the color of your skin." Jackie said.

"Oh, for... come here, you." I lunged forward, intending to repay her for her little stunt but the damn brat was slippery as an eel. She bounded out of the way and no sooner did I ponder the wisdom of summoning forth an army of Minions to hold her down so I could proceed to inflict cosmetic vengeance upon her that her hand shot out and made a grasping motion. I felt the pulse of magic and braced for what would happen to me next.

The sound of something whistling through the air and my back was struck by a soft, fluffy something. "What the...?" A pillow, and that was not the only one. Dozens more sailed through the air, making a beeline for me. With an undignified squeal, I jumped and danced clumsily in a piss poor attempt to avoid getting hit with the fluffy projectiles. No such luck.
One after one, my body was riddled by the soft, cushiony blows as I staggered backwards, eventually tripping on a lone pillow and fell flat on my ass. But the brat was not yet done and mercilessly buried me under a pile of the things and when I flailed around, breaking my face free, I saw Jackie straddling me, a smug smile as she laid atop the pillows covering my body.

"Me one, you zero," she said, making a zero with her fingers.

"Challenge accepted!" I smiled my best shark smile and with the practiced ease that one only could achieve by being an older sibling for years, my hands shot up to grip Jackie at her hips before our bodies turned into a flurry of movement, ending with our positions reversed and me smiling down on a thoroughly bamboozled Jackie.

"You might have come to the realization that straddling me was a grave mistake my dear Jackie-Bear because now," I told her in a chit-chat tone "You are in tickle monster territory!"

Girl had no the time to bring out a 'Are you shiting me' before I dug my fingers into her sides and mercilessly began to extract my revenge. Jackie exploded in laughter, managing to sprinkle in protests and even the odd death treat while I left her gasping for air.

Even the few more or less half assed punches she threw at me did not bother me at all, if anything, this was the most normal I had seen Jackie until now.

"Do you yield?" I asked while attacking a tickle spot under Jackie´s ribs.

"FuahAHahaHA... fuAhahack yuhuu~!"

"Maybe later." I continued my torture, managing to get a hold of Jackie´s feet. Turned out she seemed to be partially ticklish on her soles.

"Say uncle!"

"Nehehehvar!" A pillow impacted with my head.

"Say it!"

Jackie shook and squirmed under my merciless attention but eventually, she relented and finally said the word which was not 'Bird'.

Fun though horseplaying (heh, heh... geddit?) with her was, we still had the rest of the day ahead of ourselves. When Jackie regained her breath and muttered some more of her oh-so-lovely pet names to me, we gathered our clothes, possessions, and double checked to make sure we didn't leave anything behind aside of a tip for the housekeepers on my insistence and when I was sure we had everything we needed, I called upon my Mana reserves to open a one way, non-permanent portal in the living room of our quarters.

"This one's safe, right?" Jackie asked, somewhat hesitant to step through. "I don't wanna end up crashing through a mountain again. Or end up in the middle of an ocean."

"It's safe as can be, girl," I reassured her. "What happened then was a freak accident or something because Multiverse travel and shit, but don't fear. Nothing but good ol' solid ground on the other side of this. You have my word."

She reached out with a hand, disappearing inside the portal and waved it around, as if testing for something. When she was satisfied, she took slow, steady steps and sure enough, her frame was swallowed by the portal. I followed suit and sure enough, we stood at the entrance of my tower.

Why the hell we came out here, went above my head since I aimed for my throne room but oh well.

"Welcome to my humble abode Jackie. Towah de Umbra" I waved my hand at the entrance of my tower that looked like the entrance to Barad Dur if Tolkien had used a Minion theme instead of these Gargoyle thingies. A massive drop gate made of black wrought iron was pulled up, accompanied by a fitting cacophony of massive chains, gears and hardworking Minions.

After the gate opened enough, I led my newest guest into my casá or better, into the entrance hall since the entrance gate was more or less set into directly into the mountain and the rest of the tower protruded from the solid rock after a few stories.

Inhaling deeply, I took comfort in the smell of Minions (not that bad once one got used to it), the smell of hot iron and roaring fires that wafted up from the smithy and the weird, slightly sweet odor that came from the bioluminescent fungi that grew in small groups or alone at the base of the pillars which held the ceiling.

A group of Guard Minions scampered towards us, displaying this unnerving strain of discipline that only they had. I swear, seeing a handful of Browns move and act with an actual semblance of military drill send more shivers down my spine than a full grown dragon could probably ever hope to.

I waved at them as they came to a full stop, halberds held ready just in case. "Hey guys, be at ease. This is Jaqueline or Jackie for shorts. She is a guest and a friend, so behave."

One of the Minions gibbered at me, slightly cocking his head.

"No Splatter, not even a bit. Besides, she would lay down the beating of your lifetimes on you. Girl´s stronger than she looks."

Another Minion, Scruffle, made himself known.

"I said no and that is final. Or do you want to end up in Lyra´s workforce for the next month?"

Just calling the mint-colored devil by her name was enough to made the Minion shut up. Kinda sad actually, that a technicolor Unicorn could inspire more dread in my own Minions than I, but well.

"How the blazes can you understand what they say?" Jackie inquired, slapping the weapon of one of my Minions away from her face with the flat of her hand, sending the little bugger spinning around as he held onto his polearm.

"Some part intuition, some more parts guessing and the rest is plain luck." I admitted, shrugging and lead Jackie to the stairs going up. The entrance hall was after all nothing grand, just a forest of pillars, glowing 'shrooms and the odd scampering Minion hunting a rat.

Putting an arm around her shoulders and a big grin on my mug, I said, "So, Jackie, let me give you a tour of my humble abode, yes?"

She offered her own little smile. "Let's."

First off we toured the ground floors, some living spaces with plushy couches and suits of armor, Minion banners, a few kobolds engaging in a strange game of pin the dagger on the sheepie and then the kitchens, where Wiener was busy at work cooking up a pot of foul smelling grey sludge for my munchkins' dinner. The odd bone and body parts of whole rats poked out of the ominously bubbling surface.

"Hey, Wiener. How's it hanging?" I said pleasantly while Jackie gagged over the smell.

The chef minion gibbered something excitedly, waving his arms around, the big spoon in his hand splattering the grey goop in all directions.

"Lyra? What about her?"

Some more Minionese later...

"What is it?" Asked Jackie.

"Apparently, Lyra has been raiding my private pantry and made off with my favorite quatro choco cookies. All the while I was away."

Inhaling deeply, I yelled in my enhanced Overlord voice. "Heartstrings, get your furry, klepto butt down here!" A few pots rattled satisfyingly in their racks.

Minty Horse arrived literally a few seconds later, bursting in through a door, eyes wide, slightly out of breath and her eyes bugged out when she caught sight of me.

"Mhssturr!" she said, her mouth still full, crumbs and chocolate smears scattered all over her muzzle. Swallowing hard, Lyra was the proverbial picture of the deer in the headlights. "I-I mean, Master. What brings you here?"

I ran a finger through her muzzle. "Well now, what do we have here?" I asked rhetorically, inspecting the chocolaty contents.

"O-oh, that," she said, failing miserably at sounding casual. "Well, you see Master, one of your Minions was trying to steal your favorite quatro choco cookies, so I said 'Hey, you leave those alone! Those cookies belong to Master!' and he was all like 'Master's not here' And I was like 'Give them back!' But he was all 'Nuh uh!' And then he ran and I chased after him and then I slipped and fell on the cookies, so..."

I held up a hand, stalling her pathetic babbles. "Lyra, this is Jackie. Jackie, this is Lyra, my most faithful," I said sarcastically. "Servant."

Lyra's eyes snapped to the girl beside me. "Another human? Who is she, Master?"

"Not another human. A human. Do I need to explain to you that I am a demon again? Also, Jackie is a fellow Displaced who will be staying here in my tower for a good while. But that's not important. What is important is me coming up with a suitable punishment for you. You do know stealing the Overlady's cookies is a crime punishable by, well, maybe not death, but being drawn and quartered at least. Which is death if I think about it, but you get what I mean."

Seeing Lyra´s ears fall flat and her tail vanish between her legs filled me with a good bit of satisfaction. Her big eyes began to water and I think out of the corner of my eye, I already saw Wiener go through his massive cookbook, opening a page for something called 'Unicorn Roast', complete with a rather comical picture of a roasted Unicorn with an apple in its mouth and several more on its horn.

After enjoying the moment a bit longer, I rubbed my chin as in thought as I looked down in the quivering Lyra. "Ah, but you know, since I am in one of my rare benevolent moods, I am willing to change your sentence to doing the dishes for Wiener today instead. With only your tongue as a cleaning implement."

"T-the dishes?" Lyra spluttered in disbelief. "But today is Rat-Bog stew day!"

"Tomorrow will be roasted pony day. Pick your poison."

A fierce internal battle raged on in Minty Horse's already unhinged little mind. Really, I couldn't tell you which option was worse, but after several seconds' frantic thinking, Lyra slumped and uttered a small, "I'll do the dishes." before Wiener grinned victoriously and jabbered away in rapid fire Minionese, pointing to the dish room (because Wiener was A, a lazy ass that pushed doing the dishes as long as he could and B, cooking for my legion of Minions produced unholy amounts of dirty dishes) and, with a large grin on his face, tossed Lyra a filthy apron that by the looks of it had never been washed.

Wiener went back to stirring the pot with a jaunty tune, ignoring the stricken unicorn. Eyes downcast, Lyra shot me with a look that almost melted my little black heart and marched forward like a convict facing the guillotine.

"That pony's weird," Jackie stated as we took the stairs down, Lyra's faint moans of misery and exclamations of disgust trailing in our wake. "How did you come by her?"

"I didn't, actually. If anything, she came by me. There I was, enjoying a morning shower and when I stepped out, there was Lyra, sitting in the middle of my bedroom and geeking out about finding the world's first human." I chuckled, shaking my head at the memory.

"And she became your servant. Just like that?"

"Well," I began uncertainly. "Not exactly. See, I kinda wanted to send her on her way with a promise that she'd never tell anybody about me. But the mare's stubborn, wouldn't take no for an answer. We yelled a little, tempers flared and... well, I kinda pulled a Palpatine on her and bombarded her with a Corruption Burst, turning her into a willing servant by overriding her free will."

"What?" Yeah, that caught her by surprise.

"There's this spell that I can do. I call it Corruption." I demonstrated by letting arcs of lightning trace my palm. "I can power it with enough mana until my victim is either entirely dissolved into nothingness... or use it to break down their minds and make them absolutely loyal to me."

"Wow," she breathed. "You know, I didn't think you had it in you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You basically made her your slave, you know that right?"

"What?! No, that's not..." Uh... did I? Fuck. I did, more or less.

"Hey, someone's gotta show them ponies who's boss around here, huh? They screw us enough already." She patted me on the back and walked on, leaving me sputtering.

Deciding it wiser to just drop it, I continued our tour. I led Jackie down to the Minion Burrows. She seemed fascinated with the place and took great interest inspecting the Brown and Red hives. A number of my little kobolds, both Browns and Reds, came over to say hi, surrounding Jackie like so many murderous little elves.

The upper levels of my tower followed. We swung by the library, containing tomes and grimoires hundreds of, even millennia old, their contents surely lost to the ages, preserved for my own perusing (really should give them a read sometime) then to my chambers, proudly showing off my acquisitions and finally...

"And here we are, my little friend. The crown jewel of my tower in all the literal sense. I present to you," I paused for dramatic effect. "The treasure room." As if by magic, well, more like me sending a mental command to a couple of my munchkins to open the doors from the opposite side, the double doors opened with a ponderous groan and the resplendent light of my hoarded riches hit us in the face full force. Girl's eyes were positively sparkling (then again, that might just have been the sparkles of all my precious shinies reflected in her eyes) as she appraised my riches.

"Goddamn, this is yours?" she breathed in wonderment.

"Eeyup," I said smugly. "All mine. Go on take something."

"Really?"

"Sure. Go ahead and take a shiny. Keep it as a memento or spend it or whatever."

With my go ahead, Jackie approached a rather massive pile of gems, easily tall as a house. Her little hand made to reach for an emerald the size of her fist and no sooner did she lay her fingers on top of it that several things happened in quick succession.

A black claw shot out of the pile and grappled a very startled Jackie's arm before roughly pulling her in, the girl disappearing in its depths. No sooner did I start to freak out, thinking Onyx had eaten her that the gem pile exploded, scattering shinies in all directions, the two present Minions chasing after them with greed in their eyes.

"You little freak! Let go of my gems!" Onyx growled, pinning down Jackie with her strong arms. Jackie's eyes bugged, clearly not expecting an eight-foot dragoness to suddenly pop out.

"Onyx!" I shouted and moved to intervene. "Stop that this..." But Jackie did not seem to like being held down like a prized hog. The squirt clamped her mouth shut on one of Onyx's talons and the dragon let out an earsplitting screech of pain, hopping off the girl and nursing her wounded talon.

"Hey, hey stop it, you two!" I yelled, getting in between them.

"That little thief tried stealing my gems!" Onyx accused, pointing an accusing claw at Jackie.

"No, Onyx. They're my gems. Get that through your thick head already! And I said she could take one." I then looked to Jackie, noting with some nervousness a thin trickle of blood in the corner of her mouth.

"You alright, girl?" She nodded.

"I am. She's not," she said with a sneer and true enough, a larger trickle flowed down Onyx's talons. Sweet Jiminy Cricket, just how strong is her bite force? Dragon scales are seriously tough.

Onyx roared. "Why you little..." She unfurled her wings and with a massive leap, cleared the distance between her and Jackie, looming over the smaller girl in an attempt at intimidation. "Say that again!" Onyx challenged.

Jackie, in a particularly stupid course of action, grabbed ahold of Onyx's horns and pulled her down, meeting her snout with her stubborn hard head. Onyx cried out and I couldn't help but wince at the very telling crack that came after. I swear, one day I'm gonna bend that brat over my knees and...

"Gott verdammt! [Goddamn it!]" Yes, apparently I was so pissed I now reverted back to my native tongue. "Hört auf euch zu zanken wie ein ein Haufen Kleinkinder! [Stop bickering like a bunch of rugrats!]" I marched up to them, grabbed Jackie by the collar of her shirt and Onyx by one of her horns. "Ernsthaft, selbst die Schergen benehmen sich reifer als ihr beide grade und das will schon was heißen! [Seriously, even the Minions are behaving more mature than the both of you right now and that's saying something!]"

Giving Jackie´s collar a tug, I addressed her, masterfully ignoring her confused expression. "Junge Dame, du must nicht jedem sofort die Nase brechen, sowas kann man machen wenn man Schwarzenegger heißt und in einem Testosteron strotzenden Barbaren Film mitspielt, nicht wenn man sich vor jemandem erschreckt! [Young lady, you don´t need to break someone's nose, you can do something like this when your name´s Schwarzenegger and you play a role in a barbarian movie brimming with testosterone, not because you got a little jumpscare!] Turning to Onyx, I continued. "Und du! Krieg das endlich in deinen Dickschädel das all diese Schätze MIR gehören und ICH dir lediglich erlaube drauf zu pennen also komm mal drei Stufen runter klar? Wenns mir passt verschenke ich das alles an den nächsten Penner, klar? [And you! Get it into that thick skull of yours already that all this treasure belongs to ME and that I merely allow you to sleep on it, so take a chill pill or three, kay? If I want to, I'll give away all of it to the next hobo, kay?]"

I awaited her response, but the brat kept on staring me oddly. She shared an uncertain look with Onyx before they turned back to me simultaneously.

"Uh... what?" she asked, confused.

A series of strangled grunting noises and gurgles were my only response.

"Yeah," Onyx muttered, considerably less hostile than before. "We don't speak... whatever it is you just said. Sounded a bit like this screeching Griffins do, just less birdy."

Defeated, I slumped to my hands and knees. "Jackie, I love you like my own sister but I swear you're gonna give me a hernia one of these days." I moaned.

"I... uh..." She muttered uncertainly, and I could see her feet fidgeting. "She... started it." she said lamely.

"You stole my…" Onyx gulped, looking down at me. She sighed. "Fine, you stole Umbra's treasure that she so graciously shares with me." she said dully.

"And with that out of the way," I proclaimed and got back to my feet. "Onyx, this is Jackie. Jackie, Onyx. Now the both of you shake hands, slash, talons and make nice. You're gonna be sharing this tower for the foreseeable future and I do not need the two of you going at each other's throats."

Onyx bared her teeth and growled, small wisps of flame escaping between her chompers. "I'll apologize if she goes first."she said boldly.

I sighed. And here I was hoping she´d be the more mature of the two. "Jackie?"

Girl grumbled something under her breath. "I'm sorry," she said venomously. "That I didn't get to turn you into an entire line of fashion products." One of these days, girl. One of these days...

Onyx blinked perplexedly but did not seem offended by the statement. More confused than anything.

"Onyx?"

"Fine," the irascible dragoness said, crossing her arms. "Sorry for almost painting this whole room with your blood."

Well, I suppose that's as good as I'm gonna get from either of them."Right. Well, let's go ahead and continue, shall we, squirt?" I grabbed Jackie's shoulders and steered her towards the exit. "Before I lose it and murder you both." I muttered lowly.

I left a somewhat confused Onyx and two kobolds trying to scoop up the fallen loot.

To my mild displeasure, Gnarl was already waiting for us in the throne room. Well, more like we caught him by surprise, since the old walnut was lounging on MY throne as if it was the most natural thing in the world, looking pleased like a cat that just got the cream, the canary, burned down the house AND managed to successfully blame it on the dog. When he saw us approach, his eyes bugged out and with more speed and agility than one would expect of his wrinkly old arse, he scuttled off and to his rightful place beside the throne.

"M-my Lady," he said, way too quickly and with false cheer on his oily tones. "What a delight to see you up and alive. We feared and mourned for you since your disappearance these past few days, but I... I said to the rest of the Minions that our Ladyship was well and alive, biding her time until she came back to honor us with her presence." Yeah, reaaaally piling it on, ain'tcha, walnut?

His gaze then drifted to my companion, peering at Jackie and you could practically see her shivering erupting in goosebumps.

"Who is this, my Lady? Another one of your pets?" He gave Jackie another once over, his lips twisting in a horrid, gruesome pervert smile. "My, my. I had no idea your Ladyship liked them so young. Oh, yes..." He cackled sinisterly.

Oh gods above, I felt all my sins crawling on my back from that! DO NOT WANT!

"What? No, ew ew eeee~eew! Shut up, you mangy old walnut, or I'll have your mouth sewn shut for you."

Thank you Jackie.

"I swear it, Gnarl. One of these days, you are seriously gonna outlive your usefulness. I've half a mind to command my Minions to drop your wrinkly old ass in my forge. Maybe put your soul into a toilet plunger or something of the like."

"Now that you mention it, my Lady," he said hastily. "There's something I... planned to talk to you about if you were still alive."

"Make it quick, you disgusting lecher."

"Yes, well," he cleared his throat. "While Your Ladyship was missing, one of our Minion scouts reported finding an object of interest far in the north. The Arcanium smelter, my Lady."

This gave me pause. The Arcanium smelter was by far the best forge in the Overlord games, capable of churning out sweet armor and weapons that were on par with legendary stuff like Excalibur, Glamdring or Havel´s Armor. With that sweet puppy in my possession, nothing short of a fully charged Alicorn-Laser could even hope to even put a scratch on me.

Well, Discord maybe because Chaos but if what Lyra had told me was true, the old chap was still stoned like Woodstock. Still I made a mental note to check the truth of that statement in the near future. Heh, maybe I could even get the chance to troll Blueblood.

"Hey, you are drooling."

Eh? What? At Jackie´s bland statement, I brought my hand up to my mouth and really, I was leaking like a waterfall. Okay, maybe not really, but still a good bit.

Clearing my throat and straightening my posture for good measure, I addressed Gnarl again. "Well, looks like you just managed to get out of the frying pan." I noticed that a good deal of tension left Gnarl and I could not have that. "But that just means your ass is now hovering of the roaring cooking fire." The expression on Gnarl's mug was priceless and told me that, at least for now, I was again the undisputed queen in my castle. "Okay, now tell me where they found the smelter!"

"As I understand it, my Lady, it was Gabber who found it. He said it was on a cave far, far north, where the land is nothing but cold and snow. But that is not all my Lady. There is something else that should interest you greatly."

"You see, Your ladyship, Gabber and his companion Wart were ambushed by a sect of... well, cultists or something of the like. They got to Wart quickly enough but Gabber managed to escape, and while he was running for his life to the nearest ley line, he reported seeing something that belonged to Your Ladyship."

"And what is this 'thing' that belonged to me?"

A shrewd expression entered the walnut's wrinkly visage. "Tell me, my Lady, where exactly is your Beast?"

Okay, that took me back. "That's... I... why does it matter to you anyway?" I snapped irritably. Last thing I needed was the treacherous little gremlin giving me grief over losing it.

"Because Gabber just so happened to spy Your Ladyship's favorite weapon as he was making his escape."

Wait, what? Hmm. That's... that's great! Best news I've heard in a while. Okay, okay, I gotta go and get ready, marshal my Minion forces and plan for a raid on this so-called sect of ponies. One mission, two items I so desperately need. A better two-fer there never has been.

"Gnarl!" I barked. "Get my best Minions ready and armored. We'll mount an expedition to find, liberate and maybe pillage a little bit. I want them ready to go in the next ten minutes." When the Walnut remained, muttering words of praise and admiration, I very nearly lost it. "Move it!" I roared and he scrambled out of the way. Serves him right.

"Uh, what was all that about?"

Huh. Oh, shit. I didn't even register Jackie was still here.

"Yeah... sorry, squirt, but I think I'll have to put our tour on hold for right now. Got some Overlord business to take care of. You know how it is."

"No, I don't. Never played the game."

You shitting me right now, brat? "Well, still. Look, I'll have the Minions bring you to a room or whatever. Maybe get Wiener to bring you something to munch on. Just stay here and wait. I shouldn't be too long."

I... don't think she liked that idea.

"Or, you know, I could just come with you. I don't wanna stay alone in a place full of these freaky looking goblin things."

"Minions, girl, Minions. And no, you can't come. There's most likely gonna be violence, swearing and more than just a little bloodshed."

"Yeah, well, what else is new?"

"Wut?"

"What do you think I've been doing in my version of Ponyworld? Sitting around, twiddling my thumbs and engaging in friendship adventures with the little beasts where each time I grow closer to them and learn the value of friends? I've done my fair share of bloodshed. Hell, I could find a job at a slaughterhouse if I ever get away from here."

"Point taken." Holy Christ, at this point I was seriously considering if a healthy dosage of Orbital Rainbow Laser could do Jackie more good than harm. Seriously, that girl had a grim way of looking at the world.

No, bad Umbra! You don't want that for yourself, so do not wish it upon others.

With a defeated sigh, my shoulders slumped a little. "No way to talk you out of this hn?"

A brusque nod was all I got.

"Well then, if you gonna tag along, I want you outfitted for it. You may have freaky strength, you can use the Force and whatever I have not seen you do yet but that does not mean that a stray blade or arrow can not end your life faster than you can say 'Only two more weeks until my retirement!' so we will make a little detour to the smithy. Maybe Welder has something in stock that could fit you."

She nodded, satisfied and a smug little smile on her mug. Reluctantly, I led her into our forge where Welder lounged lazily, sleeping against one of the rocky walls, the glow of his belly brightening and dimming with his snores. A miniature Corruption Burst, barely more than a glorified static shock, jerked him awake.

"Welder, Jackie. Jackie, Welder. Get her some armor and weapons or something so she doesn’t go and die on me as soon as the first blows are thrown."

Welder lifted his goggles and peered at Jackie through narrowed eyes, as if appraising her and led us to the armory, replete with weapons of all kinds.

"Not bad." Jackie murmured, eyes wide as she stared in awe at the assortment of weaponry. In my free time, I'd taken up to smithing or more precisely, I had forced Welder into making all the weapons and sometimes armor pieces I came up with in my free time, which was a lot. So it was no wonder that the wall racks where filled to the brim with all sorts of swords, axes, maces, chestplates, bracers, shin guards and even the odd helmet to spare. There was even a lonely bow, just because!

"Now let's see here..." I reached in and drew a rapier, slender and sharp. "I think this would be good for someone your size, eh?"

She took the weapon, corner of her lip curled up in doubt and inspected it. "I feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing. And what am I gonna do with it, poke little holes in stuff? It's more suited to be a shish-kebab. Next!" she said, shoving the thing back in my grasp.

"O-kay. Um... ah, how about this?" I pointed at the bow.

"You're kidding, right?"

"What? It's not so bad. Go on, give it a try."

She took the bow and arrows and experimentally nocked an arrow, pulling back on the string.

"See, you're already a natural," I said with all the false cheer of an instructor that does her job only for closing time and cash. "Try to hit that plaque over there." I pointed to said wooden plaque that hung over the entrance of the armory, a hammer and anvil. Still, she drew and aimed at the target, her grip clearly shaking and unsteady and after several seconds of amateurish aiming, she let loose. The arrow flew through the air and to mine and Jackie's surprise, actually hit its mark with a loud twang of metal.

The arrow hit and rebounded wildly, arcing through the spiral stairs and plunged past the eye socket of a wandering Minion. The kobold's body jerked and spasmed and tumbled down like a marionette through the steps, dissolving into nothingness before he hit the ground floor.

"Yeah, pass." I was inclined to agree.

I growled in mild frustration. "That's fine, that's fine. There's gotta be something here more appropriate for you. Maybe a..."

"How about this?" In her grip, the aspiring Minion slayer hefted a war axe, a monstrous thing, almost as tall as she was, with a double bladed head that looked capable of cleaving rocks with minimal effort.

I honestly did not know what possessed me when I had Welder make this thing. Hell, even with my enhanced strength I could barely lift this thing with both hands! And Jackie, scrawny little Jackie, lifted the frikkin´ thing with one hand like it were nothing more than a whiffle bat! I did the only appropriate thing and stared slack jawed while uttering a disbelieving "Whaaaa~?" As if to further mock me, the squirt gave the thing a few experimental swings, effortlessly arcing it through the air.

"Yep, it's a keeper," she said. "I'm taking this."

"That's... what... where are you even gonna put that? It's as tall as you, for Darkness' sakes and don´t you dare to say Hammer space because I am the only one here allowed to make crappy Pop Culture jokes!"

"I'll lug it around, no big deal. Besides, I'm not like classically trained in weapons or anything, so something that you can swing around and cut things in half is more my speed."

"I still say it's too big for you. Give it here. Maybe we can find you a nice little sword that won't accidentally disembowel me or something." I moved forward to reach for it.

"Quit fretting already, I'll be careful." Jackie said, stepping back and swung the axe behind her and out my reach. What neither of us expected was the sound of that monster cutting through flesh and bone and when we looked there was poor Welder, cut in half and uttering a death rattle before dissolving appropriately.

"Goddamn it, Jacqueline..." I facepalmed "Well, looks like we need to make a short stop at Norbert before we set out, so he can pull Welder out of the Styx. Again!"

[...]

"Aaaand we are back to ice and snow again. Peachy." I growled as I stepped out of the portal. To be fair, it was not the same white desert like the one around Yule since you could still make out large patches of grey rock far and wide between, but still. From the look of it, this lovely little garbage dump was at the base of a mountain. Grumbling under my breath, I pulled the thick cloak tighter around my shoulders that covered most of my body while the other tightened around the handle of the longsword I chose for myself for this endeavor. The fact that the blade was imbued with Red essence and therefore permanently wreathed in a coat of flickering hellfire, giving me a bit of extra warmth plus the intimidation factor against whoever had my smelter had driven me to take this particular weapon.

"Okay, we´re here. Now what?" Came the ever so enthusiastic voice of Jackie from behind me as she stepped out of the portal herself. At my insistence, she too wore winterwear against the weather since her summery attire was worth jackshit against even a stiff breeze. Girl looked oddly comical, bundled up in layers, hood pulled up and wearing thick mittens. Looked more appropriate for her to be one of Santa's helpers. The massive war axe did overcome whatever cute factor she possessed though, and gave her more a Discworld-ish flair. Just one look at that thing would be enough to stop any would-be attackers in their tracks.

"Now we look for my Beast, girl. If what Gnarl said is correct, it's closest to us and the smelter lies somewhere deep in the cave. Probably behind dozens of cookie cutter enemies like, dunno, Slimes or some kind of Undead. Or maybe some sort of bandits. Most likely with a big Zampano as the final encounter once we have made our bloody path all the way to the my belongings. You know, just the usual."

"Yeah, yeah. So... which way?"

I pointed to some mountains in the distance. "Gnarl said the entrance should be right over there. Now less chatting, more walking. We need to waste as little energy as we can in the cold like this."

So our little trek began. Ideally, I would have 'ported to the entrance of the cave, but my attempts had proven fruitless. Something was blocking my magic, an even more powerful source that prevented us from 'porting anywhere near it. Fucking cultists. So I had to take us all the way out here in this unforgiving wasteland and hope we wouldn't get frostbite or get attacked by a yeti or something. Actually, that'd be a nice enough distraction. I've never killed a yeti before. Hey, maybe I could even make a makeshift clothing out of its pelt and wear it as a trophy, with its desiccated yeti head serving as a headgear.

Agh, no. Bad Umbra. Not good to get distracted, not out here. I briefly considered opening up a Minion portal and have the kobolds carry us there, but there were no ley lines sight. Well shit.

After several minutes, freezing cold and biting winds, the entrance of the cave now stood before us. Jackie and I huddled close, hidden behind a rocky outcropping and scoping out the situation. There in the entrance stood two sentries, unicorns wearing some sort of shawls which looked more decorative than anything. A magical field enveloped them, keeping out the snow and a flickering fire could be seen within.

"What are we waiting for? We can take them," Jackie said impatiently. I half glanced at her. I still wasn't too crazy about her coming with me. True, I had slaughtered my fair share of cronies and lackeys and disposable canon fodder but still something nagged at me. Jackie almost seemed eager to confront them and for a second I considered the possibility of maybe trying to talk/intimidate the ponies instead of up and offing them. Actually...

"Easy, girl. Hold your horses, I'm thinking."

"Better be some good thinking 'cause it's freezing cold out here."

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna sneak up on those jokers and take them by surprise."

"Got it."

"Alive."

"What?"

"Think about it. We're about to head into enemy territory. Who knows what'll be waiting for us down there. We sneak up on them, subdue them and make them talk. Reveal info and all, you know? For all you know it's a maze in the cave and we could spend the rest of our lives trying to find the exit, eating rats and worms as sustenance. Is that what you want?"

"You're ridiculous," she sighed. "Fine, no killing. Alive and all. Let's go already, I literally can't feel my nose."

We split up and went to opposite sides of the little campfire, the ponies within oblivious to our presence and when I gave the signal, we moved. We closed the distance and in my free hand I pooled my Mana, arcing bolts of electricity sparked and crackled, congealing into a sphere. I slammed the Corruption Burst into the magical field. It rippled violently as the spell hit, thick, lethal bolts firing off in all directions with the intensity of thunder and the field vanished. Heh, I think I gonna name that move 'Shield Buster'.

The ponies clearly hadn't been expecting us as their mugs clearly told me they were very much startled, eyes wide and looking around wildly, but when they saw us, it was too late. One of them lit his horn, no doubt intending to send some magic juju my way, but I was faster. I slammed the pommel of my sword right at the base of his horn and the burgeoning spell fizzled out, but not before he let out a splitting shriek of pain. Gotta be a sensitive spot or something. Props where it was due. The unicorn recovered fairly quick and even attempted to get back up and fight. That's cute. Renewed howls of pain tore the air as I hit him with a full-fledged Corruption Burst, the little equine writhing in agony as the lightning bolts ravaged his flesh and corroded his will.

I looked around for Jackie and saw her straddling the body of a struggling unicorn. To my relief, she had refrained from actually killing him and yes, she was in fact trying to subdue him. The unicorn flailed, his oddly flexible, marshmallowy pony hooves preventing Jackie from getting a good grip. Quickly growing frustrated, the girl instead put him in a chokehold, seized his horn and with a single motion, tore it off his noggin! With the sound he made, you'd think he was a little filly or something. Couldn't blame him, it did look painful. Blood and sparks sizzled from the stump where his horn used to be and Jackie stood, curiously examining the broken appendage in her hand.

Jeez...

"Oh for fucks sake Jackie, I said no killing right now!"

Jackie gave me a annoyed glare. "What? Is it my fault that these beasts are as tough as soggy marshmallows? Besides, it is still alive."

"Yeah, but it now he or she has a gaping hole in his or her skull!"

"So stick a hot poker in it or something. You know, medieval style."

"Right, ram a white hot spear right into the brain, that is sure to help. You know that lobotomy is out of practice since I don´t know how long?"

"Hey, at least I try to be productive. Not like someone else I could name, with her stupid 'No casualties because Horses have feelings too' policy."

"Actually, we have a medkit with a few potions right over there..." The mutilated Ex-Unicorn piped up shakily, pointing one hoof in the mentioned direction.

"No one asked you!" Both Jackie and I yelled at the same time, causing the wounded equine to whimper even more and almost crawl into the ground.

"Now, where were we?"

"Uhm, something about you being a soft bellied horse lover?" Jackie pointed the bloodied horn at me.

"Well, excuse me for not being a Genocide runner!"

"Ehrm... maybe... about these potions? I just could get them myself. I actually feel a bit lightheaded, I think it is the blood loss and the adrenaline..." The pony under Jackie piped up feebly.

"Ergh, shut up will you? Higher life forms are talking." Jackie snapped and bonked her victim over the head with his own horn. Now, that's just insulting!

"Just get it already. The poor sod will bleed out." I pushed past her and retrieved the kit. Inside were some bandages, ointments and potions which I had no idea what they did but sure enough, one of them had a big red heart with a white cross in it on the label. If that was not a healing potion, video games had lied to me my whole life!

"Eh... right. You do it." I tossed the bag at the pony who, with shaky hooves, proceeded to stem the blood flow from his stub.

After he was done, both Jackie and I towered over the wounded equine like doom made flesh for effect before I growled, "Now talk!"

The little pony's eyes, I shit you not, rolled to the back of his head before he promptly collapsed unconscious in sheer terror. Well, I assume the blood loss had something to do with it too.

"Typical. Just my luck," I muttered. "Jackie, I like your enthusiasm and all but you should really take a good, long look at the meaning of the word restraint."

Said girl snootily turned her head away. "There's still that guy." She pointed to the remaining stallion who just started regaining his bearings.

Seeing how arguing with her would be pointless, I instead turned my attention to my newest thrall. I allowed the pony to fully regain consciousness. The Unicorn had a navy blue coat and black mane and like Lyra, he now stared at me with devoting eyes. Creepy...

"Mistress." he intoned and bowed low. Jackie watched with amusement.

"Rise already," I said impatiently. "Now tell me your name."

"Starburst, your Grace."

"What were you and that guy," I pointed to the felled pony. "Doing here, Starburst?"

"Guarding the entrance, your Grace," the stallion said, bowing again and I rolled my eyes.

"Obviously you were guarding it, I figured that much out by myself. C'mon, Starburst, spill the beans. What is this place? Why were you guarding it? And why in the hell is there an outpost here in the ass end of nowhere?"

Starburst's horn glowed and just as I wondered whether my trusty Corruption had failed to do its job, Starburst enveloped a small area around us in a protective shield.

"Apologies, your Grace, but I thought this'd be best done out of the snow." He cleared his throat. "This place is a research outpost and a temple, built and commissioned by our previous leader and champion of the night."

"Who the hell is the champion of the night?" I asked, not liking where this was going. I´ve read far too much crappy fanfiction to not have at least an inkling where this was going.

"Champion of the night is the traditional title of our leader," Starburst explained dutifully. "For we are a following of the true lunar sister. Myself excluded of course, since my life now belongs to you my liege..."

"Yes, yes, quit the brown nosing. You wanted to tell us why the hell you are guarding this little piece of frozen hell and why we are freezing our asses of here." Jackie interrupted, stepping from one foot to the other in an attempt to warm herself up.

Though Starburst clearly now belonged to me, the same could not be said for Jackie and he regarded the girl with a disdainful sneer, eyeing her in the same way one might look an unsightly stain at the sole of one's shoe. Nevertheless, he answered.

"My group's purpose was to use this outpost as a place where we could research in peace and divine a way to return the glorious Nightmare Moon back to this plane of existence, that her reign might be long and glorious as she dethrones her traitorous sister and wrests control of fair Equestria from her hooves."

"Oh, great," Jackie sighed. "Cultists. We've run into freaking cultists of all things."

"It could be worse." I said.

"Worse than a bunch of ponies who'll probably gladly die for this pony moon?"

"You... have a point. Well, maybe Discord worshippers?" I admitted grudgingly and turned back to Starburst. "So you freaky cult guys wanna bring back Nightmare Moon. How?"

"It doesn't matter how," Jackie cut in impatiently. "Just make him tell us how to get the smelter and your Beast. It's freaking cold out here." True enough, I could see her shivering under her layers of clothing and truth be told, I was about to follow.

"Starburst, are there any other surprises waiting for us inside?" I gestured to the opening of the cave.

"A few runes meant to ward off trespassers and if need be, kill them with a powerful magic pulse. But I should be able to disable them so you Grace and her scrawny pet," he looked at Jackie, who promptly flipped him the bird. "May pass unhindered."

With a gesture on my part, he led us in, motioning for us to wait at the entrance of the cave as he went on and sure enough, his horn pulsed with magic and in turn, the floor and walls ahead of him glowed a soft blue, the carved symbols igniting in tandem with his magic. Tentatively, I used my Ley-Sight to try and get a better understanding of what he was trying to do.

By glancing at the runes, it seemed they were first designed to ward off curious onlookers harmlessly by making them turn away, but there was an underlying second layer that held back a massive charge of magical energy, just barely. That was probably the kill charge my newest servant told us about. Yikes, that looked like the equivalent of a magical landmine, if anything.

Starburst carefully manipulated the arcane matrices within the runes in an attempt to harmlessly deactivate them. Hell, he actually seemed to be doing a good job. But naturally, seeing as how things were going my way for once, the dynamic duo of Fate and Murphy chose that moment to render my hopes moot, for a slight spark, nearly unnoticeable, emerged from Starburst's horn. Then I remembered with a pit of dread, I conked him well and good at the base of his horn not a few minutes ago.

Unicorn horns were curious things. Composed of a similar material that made up bone, yet able to dispel powerful blasts of magic with enough training. At the same time, despite their sturdy build they were also remarkably sensitive. Lyra explained to me that Unicorns in combat learn to guard their precious horns for while it is a potent tool, it can also spell a pony's downfall. Several nerve clusters are contained inside the thing, more than a pony has in his entire body but at the same time, are protected by the horn's hard, outer casing. The nerves that run from the horn and the base of the skull... those are not offered the same protection and thus are sensitive to outward stimuli like, say, a massive blow from yours truly that could very well disrupt the flow of magic needed to carefully disable a lethal set of wards.

Starburst clearly noticed this as well, for he drew a sharp intake of breath and, if his breathing was any indication, panicked as the lapse in his controlled magic manipulation faltered. The poor stallion did what he could to regain control, but the damage was done. The wards, clearly designed to counter such an attempted scheme, ignited in a brilliant flash that in my Ley-Sight left me temporarily blind. But I got off easy, all things considered. Couldn't say the same for Starburst as the magical surge from the wards immediately traveled through his magical connection and into his body. The massive discharge of conflicting energies succeeded in literally bursting the stallion apart like a balloon in a showy explosion of gore, pulpy bits of meat and an admittedly impressive display of wildfire mana.

"Gah, fuck!" I yelped as I was showered in the red slush. I spat and hastily cleaned my face all the while my sight returned to me. True enough, the wards where gone now, having done their duty and having done it good. All that was left from Starburst was blood and chunks of flesh dripping from the surrounding walls and a Rorschach-like, slightly steaming red splatter on the floor.

A series of amused chuckles could be heard. "That is one way to do it," Jackie piped up from behind, having used me as a blast shield against the Unicorn's demise. The girl inspected the gory spectacle with an appreciative eye and stepped forward, tilting her head as she examined Starburst's scattered pieces. "Well, rest in pieces I guess."

"…" I just stared at her silently.

"Hey, come on. I thought if one could appreciate that crappy line, it was you huh? Anyways, way´s clear now or is there anything else?"

"Way's free, yes." I answered, feeling a slight mental exhaustion creep into me.

"Great, time to get out of this freezer!" Jackie exclaimed, wasting no time in march forward, stomping over the gory pony remains without a care and leaving dark red shoe prints behind.

Deciding that all the potential emotional baggage would be future-me´s problem, I just followed Jackie although I avoided to step into Starburst´s bloody starburst. "I need a blunt after this," I murmured. "The mother of all blunts!"

[...]

The cultist had been true to his word. Almost.

The crazed pony leader and his minions had definitely put a lot of man... er, ponypower and effort into making this an appropriately evil cultist lair. Like the now deceased Starburst said, right at the back of the cavern's entrance there was a sizable rock that sealed the temple-ish maze hidden beneath.

"Tell me again, why is this mace and smelter of yours worth going through all this trouble?" Jackie asked as we peered into the lair's depths. "Can't you, I dunno, have a whole new one made instead?"

"Maybe," I said as I led the way in. "But my Beast has quite a bit of sentimental value. Plus, I don't have the ingredients to make another one. For that I'd need the Arcanium smelter and I can't make an Arcanium smelter because, well, I've no freaking idea how. The things have just kind sorta been around as far as I know."

"And when we run into more of these cultist freaks?"

"We knock them out cold and show them who's boss. Easy peasy."

"Say," I suddenly thought of something. "I don't suppose you know who this Nightmare Moon the cultists worship is, do you?"

"I assume it's an angsty, emo pony mare obsessed with the night and darkness."

"Kinda," I admitted. "But you know of Celestia and Luna, right?"

"Yeah."

I gave her a fairly thorough explanation of what happened during the whole attempted coup fiasco, Moonbutt's banishment and eventual restoration to her old self.

"So, what, these guys want to turn her back into Darth Luna or make another one from scratch?"

I paused. "You know, I hadn't considered that. Either way, whatever it is they're doing here we need to put a stop to it. "

"I... thought we came here to get your stuff back, not interfere with whatever it is these ponies get up to."

"So we multitask." I said airily.

Jackie sighed. "Alright, let me put it this way. Why do we need to get involved in all this mess?"

"Because, squirt, bringing back Nightmare Moon will accomplish many things, none of them good. Think about it. Crazed mare would plunge Equestria in an eternal night. The land would freeze, plants and crops would die and under her tyrannical reign, I think it's likely more than not hundreds if not thousands of ponies would die a suffering death."

Girl stopped in her tracks, eyeing me with a strange expression. "And... we don't want that?"

"Wha... no! What kind of question is that? Because Eternal Night means that one half of the planet freezes to death while the other half turns into molten slag. Kinda bad for everything that lives, really. That would include you and me too." I snarked with a deadpan.

She held up her hands placatingly. "Fine, fine. Just saying, you could eke out a good existence in your tower, invent some kind of cold weather crops and ride the whole thing over until pony society finally implodes under the weight of its own idiocy or something and you could be there to pick up the pieces."

"Jackie, Alicorns, corrupted or not have eternal life. Even with my dark magic and Respawn ability, I highly doubt I could sit that one out. Nice idea though."

"Emo, remember? Hey, maybe she'd be a cutter if you're lucky. One day decides life's not worth living and offs herself in the bathtub."

"That is... a pretty funny thought to be honest, in a dark way but still. Would still leave the sun and moon motionless. Hmm, maybe we could robe Discord into getting them to move naturally? Dead ponies are no fun after all."

"So you go find the sweet spot between night and day, where it's twilight all the time."

"It is a scientific fact that this twilight zone would be constantly plagued by storms with wind speeds making the biggest, baddest hurricane the U.S. ever saw look like a decrepit pugs fart."

She sighed. "Ugh, fine. Let's help out the ponies. Let's just get it over with quickly."

"I agree. I want back to my tower and just laze around for days with you, this whole shit is defs enough to fill my quota for looong time." As we moved on, a passage came into view. A more or less narrow corridor with several doors at either end. Now we're getting somewhere.

"Eenie, meenie, minie..." I trusted the time proven way to decide on the right door, pointing in turn at the doors. "Mo!" With that, I stomped over to the unlucky winner and kicked the door clean off its hinges. Turning to Jackie, who looked at me with a just slightly gobsmacked expression I grinned widely. "I´ve got a good feeling with this one."

Jackie in turn gave a huff and followed me in. It was another tunnel but this one was lined with a lot more lamps which in my book could only mean that this tunnel was more important than others and would subsequently lead us to our quarry.

After a while of walking the smell of miniature horse, old hay and something sweet became more notable in the air.

"Kay Jackie, I think we are close." I whispered, checking for any Ley Lines but nada. "Darn, no Minions for now but hey, I think we can get those horsey cultist by ourselves, hn? Just try to not kill them on purpose, ya?"

"What about mangling, mutilating and mentally scarring?" Jackie not as much whispered back, with a big grin of her own and playfully wagging her massive axe. Once again did I debate the merits of letting her come along. That monster on her shoulder was not designed for light, non-lethal combat and with her freaky strength... well, I don't imagine the no-kill rule will be of much use here.

After a short moment, I shrugged. "Meh, as long as you don´t go overboard with it. We are no Nazis after all Jacqueline."

"Hey come o... wait, seriously?" Heh, that look on her face.

"Jepp. I mean, come on, we are facing the probably deranged members of a Doomsday cult and I highly doubt they would do us the same courtesy. So feel free to let them swallow a few teeth." I sighed at the mental image. "Wow, this is almost like the turf wars back in the day."

After some more unproductive minutes of wandering around, Jackie noticed a particular door. Wooden and somewhat crudely made and from the sizable crack in the bottom, light flickered through and moving shapes could be seen.

"Okay, showtime," I whispered as Jackie and I flanked either side of the room. "Let's come up with a plan. I don't want the cultists getting the drop on us."

"We don't need a plan. We got the drop on them."

"I still say we need…"

"Less talky. More smashy!" the brat interrupted. Mimicking my earlier action, Jackie took a step back and kicked the door off its hinges. Well, more like completely splintered it and, axe held high, the girl crowed out a, "Surprise, assholes!" Before disappearing inside.

I stood dumbfounded for a moment as my brain struggled to register what just happened. "Goddamit Jackie!" I groaned in disbelief and hastily followed inside with my sword held ready, where the sounds of fighting and painful screaming were already underway.

I hefted my flaming sword and joined the fray. Already I spotted an earth pony in the ground, writhing in agony and flailing his stumps where his hooves used to be, the things laying down unceremoniously before him. I saw a Pegasus dashing for Jackie, but the monster axe arced through the air, intercepting the poor sod with the flat side of the blade like an oversized flyswatter. A sickening crunch of bones could be heard even amongst the fighting and the unnamed Pegasus crashed against a stone wall, where he slumped to the floor. He didn't move again.

Well, I had no time to stand there and gawk so I joined the fray. Right in time too since another Earth Pony charged at me, obviously in the delusion that between the axe swinging squirt and I, that little old me was the lesser of two evils despite my massive armor and glowing eyes.

The pony attacked me with a classic tackle head-on and I wasted no time to show him the error of his ways. I sidestepped my attacker, stepped behind him as he was hitting the brakes to slow his charge and with quite an amount of nostalgia, kicked the guy right in the balls.

A shrill, haunting shriek later, the pony was reduced to a pitiful mess on the floor but I had no time to smug because something stung my shoulder from behind, heating the protective armor plates up to quite the painful level. Turning around, I spied a Unicorn mare, her horn still aglow as she charged another spell. Weird runes covered her whole face, a moon sickle the most prominent and reoccurring.

"Bow before the Night!" The mare yelled and an impressively large bolt of black lightning left her horn, intending on turning me to a smoking heap.

"Nope!" I countered and dove down and towards the little witch, her lightning sailed over me and struck an unfortunate cultist behind me. The smell of charred meat quickly followed. Before she could do anything else, I rammed the little equine with my shoulder, putting all my mass behind the tackle and bowling her over effortlessly.

"Rargh! Get of me you heathen!" The mare winced, in obvious pain.

Instead of giving her the dignity of an answer, I simply socked her square in the face so hard, her head impacted with the stone ground which in turn knocked her out cold.

My triumph sadly was short lived as in quick succession, three more ponies piled themselves atop me and promptly started to wail away at me with their blunt hoofsies. Marshmallowy though they may look, they sure pack a mean punch especially since these ponies seemed to wear horseshoes and boy, were these three dishing out an amount of punches. My armor succeeded in deflecting the first round of blows but sure enough, even the durable metal cracked and dented ever so slightly and I could feel the things hit me with near full force.

Croaks and even small whimpers of agony escaped my mouth as I fought to fend them off. Even calling on my mana reserves proved difficult, the incessant pounding not giving me a moment to concentrate and call forth a spell.

"C'mere, you." I heard Jackie's faint voice and one of the ponies beating on me immediately went bye-bye. A snap of bone later was followed by renewed screams. This gave my attackers pause and the moment I so desperately needed. Fury welled within me and I used it to gratuitously power forth my favorite spell. The air cracked and the room bathed in a strong luminous glow as the massive Corruption Burst exploded from my palm with such power that the unfortunate ponies atop me were violently flung into the air from the force of the blast, crashing on the ceiling where they fell down unceremoniously in an unmoving heap.

Shooting back up, I let out a pissed off roar, searching for the next victim to vent my fury. Unluckily for me and luckily for them, there were no more conscious cultists. Only a satisfied looking Jackie, leaning on her axe surrounded by her victims. To her credit, most of them seemed to be still breathing, however shallowly. Girl sure didn’t shy away from breaking bone or inflicting crippling injuries.

"Nice lion roar," she commented dryly. "That another Overlord perk?"

"What do you think, brat?!" I snapped irritably, the pain and humiliation at being bested by colorful horsies made my words considerably sharper than I intended to. Thankfully, Jackie didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, you smell something cooking?" She wandered off to one of the small fires lined around the room where a small pot hung over the flames. Now that I got a good look, this chamber was pretty bare bones as they went. A few lit torched were scattered throughout the room and save for some benches and assorted camping equipment, there wasn't really anything of note.

"Ugh, brussel sprouts?" Jackie groaned as she got a full whiff of a pot's contents after lifting the lid.

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, check it out," she said, pointing to the wall behind me.

Care had been taken to carve it into a makeshift mural, replete with unintelligible runes, symbols, what could only possibly be a strange language and pictograms depicting the various stages of the moon.

"What in the..." I reached out with a hand to touch the dark red paint, the tips of my gauntlets peeling off the substance. It almost looked, and smelled, like...

"Well, we're not gonna find anything here. Let's move on," Jackie said. I agreed, not wanting to spend a moment longer in this damned cave.

[…]

Forty minutes, twelve rooms, and dozens of cultists later, an increasingly frustrated Jackie and I tried our hand at yet another door. Damned cultists. Would it kill them to make a little map or something? Maybe some arrows in the walls, something along the lines of 'Center of the evil Lair, this way' or something? How is anybody supposed to traverse the lengths of this complex without getting lost?

Jackie opened it, neither of us caring for plans or subtlety at this moment as the cultists had proven to be a suitable form of stress relief. Beakers, flasks and test tubes abounded greatly and fumes of various colors emanating from substances over a fire. We warily entered the laboratory.

"Don't touch anything, girl," I warned. "God only knows what's inside these bottles." She made a noise of agreement and we both went around, searching for whatever there may have been of interest. The room was quite larger than I initially thought but right near the back we found a few desks, the remains of several burned out candles and a messy assortment of notes, journals and papers written in some egghead jargon. Hmm, maybe I could find a health potion recipe or something?

While I leafed through the mess, I heard Jackie opening up a creaky armoire behind me.

"Gah! What the...?"

I spun around to see the girl recoiling from what she found. I couldn't exactly blame her.

"Motherfucker!" I hissed as I made my way to her, seeing what it was that startled her so.

There, resting in heavy shelves were four massive jars, filled with some sort of thick, murky fluid that glowed a faint, sickly green under the light. Inside them were darkened shapes, small and rigid. Foals embalmed and left to gather dust.

"What do you think happened here?" asked Jackie, transfixed at the sight before her.

I didn't answer. My feet dragged me closer to the departed foals in morbid fascination, taking in their features. I gasped, a hand covering my mouth as the nature of the unfortunate foals was made apparent. In each of them, a small, stubby horn atop their heads and on their backs featherless appendages, small and twisted.

"Who... what could have done this?" I whispered in mute horror.

"I think I found something," Jackie said, ruffling through the papers. "Check it out." She handed me a worn and battered journal. I knew right then and there I wouldn't like what I found and though simply leaving it be would be the safest course, I found myself reaching out for it. Dated entries. I opened at a random page right near the beginning and read.

1st day of the 12th month, 999 AB

Progress is slow. Steady but slow. Just this past week I managed to find three potential candidates. Those who would enlighten themselves recognizing our true princess, Nightmare Moon. Mares are important, mothers even more so. I carefully picked those with the weakest will. Kitchen wenches, destined to die alone and unhappy, fathering foals born out of wedlock. Brides whose husbands were lost to the distant wars and conflicts in the next continent.
I approached them as a friend, taking the time to know them and the details of their miserable little lives. But that's fine. I'm patient if nothing else. As my base of power grows and more servants to the true lady of the night found, things will progress much quicker. It's only a matter of time.

21st day of the 2nd month, 1000 AB

Time passes and my followers continue to grow. I've located a suitable base for our group. A secluded cave deep in the north, far away from prying eyes. I led a small team the other day to better appraise it. It will take time and effort, but I believe we can make it habitable during the next six months.

6th day of the 7th month, 1000 AB

We've encountered a problem. Deep within the bowels of the earth, it seems we've accidentally awakened a great beast from its long sleep. Four members of our sect were taken, falling prey to its ravenous hunger before our best spellcasters drove it deep within the earth. I must now go and devise a way to keep the creature at bay. Far too much time and resources have been invested in this endeavor to turn back now or start somewhere else. I must go now. Time grows short but with it, the return of our lady steadily approaches.

13th day of the 9th month, 1000 AB

Success! After much planning and research, my most trusted advisors and I have divined away to keep the wretched worm away from us. Now our work can finally resume.

As of this moment I have succeeded in converting eight mothers to my cause. Now approaches what may be the most difficult step. Wind Runner is a faithful servant to our cause and I believe it is from her that I will see the best result. Sacrificing one's foal plays no small burden in one's conscience after all, but I believe she will consent. Let's see if I'm right.

15th day of the 9th month, 1000 AB

Wind Runner consented, much to my relief. Truly she will make a devout, faithful servant to our lady upon her return. It is through her that I was able to convince the others to relinquish their foals for a higher cause.

If our lady is to return, she will need a suitable body. The wretched Luna would be a folly to use, of course. In the all but impossible event that we manage to subdue and foalnap her, there is still one glaring problem. Though our lady initially managed to overcome her lesser half's mind, the Elements of Harmony ripped her from her host's body. If they did it once, they could surely do so again.

No, in order for this to work, our lady will need a suitable body, but what pony could possibly be worthy of being her thrall? None. That is why we must create an entirely new body for her. That comes with its own set of problems. No such feat has been attempted after all.

This is why the foals are necessary for our efforts. By dissecting them can we see what goes into making a body. The muscle structure, the ligaments, the nervous system, so many things come into play in order to create each and every one of all living things. If we are to create a suitable vessel for our lady, we will need all the information we can get.

10th day of the 2nd month, 1001 AB

The remnants of the last foal have run their usefulness. He was buried under the snow with the rest and now our work can truly begin. Our Lady's vessel will be made of only the best parts available, but even the creation of a suitable body is quite a ways away. First we must work on the prototypes.

Even in death the foals have played their part well. Their mothers are honored they played such an important role in our lady's return, but they served another purpose entirely. We took apart their bodies however we deemed it best. From some we took their bones, others their organs and others still their muscles and we used these spare parts, transforming and transmuting them appropriately to create the perfect pony.

The first experiment was a failure. Though we did indeed manage to craft a passable body, we were never able to breathe life into it. I considered disposing of the remains, but decided to keep them, to better learn from my failures.

30th day of the 5th month, 1001 AB

The second experiment was met with more success. We succeeded in attaining a heartbeat and even minor functions of the body, but it expired hours after. Progress is slow but steady.

26th day of the 8th month, 1001 AB

The third experiment was the most successful by far. The vessel actually woke, breathing like a normal pony would. We tried to communicate or at least restrain it for study, but during its brief span of consciousness, it continually kept screaming in agony until a massive stroke took its life.

I slammed the book shut, not wanting to read just one more word. My body trembled with rage, hands clasped so tight I tore the flimsy bindings of the book. In my stomach, a blazing fury roared to life as at the same time, tears ran down my cheeks in streams.

What kind of monster could do all this? Use desperate mothers, lure them in with the promise of support and friendship, then brainwash them to give up the most precious of things a female could ever hope to bring forth into the world?

Destroy the innocence, debase the souls of unborn children in the mad attempt of artificially creating a genocidal goddess?

Without a second to spare, flames erupted from my palm, immolating the unholy tome in my grasp near instantly.

The ashes still spilling from my hand, I spun around and lashed out with my blade at the nearest table, the flaming blade effortlessly tearing through the beakers and vials. A wordless scream accompanied the next strike that sliced the massive table in half, setting it ablaze.

Then my gaze found the armoire again. The bestial fruits of unknown amounts of time found themselves on the receiving end of a white hot fireball that utterly obliterated the furniture in a rain of smoldering splinters and clouds of grey ashes that not a moment before had been papers.

"Are you done yet?"

Faster than she could react, I took a hold of Jackie's collar and pulled her close, looming over her like Doom given form.

"I will not have any of that right now Jaqueline! Are we clear?" I seethed at her, my eyes pouring the boiling, all consuming hatred churning inside my mind all over her. "Do you have any idea what was inside that wretched book?"

"Uh, no. You torched it, remember? You could at least let me have a look."

I screamed and before I knew it, I slapped the brat with all the strength I had and unlike the cave, I noted with satisfaction she actually seemed to feel this one.

"What was that for?!" she demanded angrily, hand over her reddening cheek.

"I am not in the mood, brat. I am SERIOUSLY not in the mood," I said, my voice thick with rage. "This... this place is an abomination. Fuck the cultists, fuck their leader, fuck Nightmare Moon. Everybody here is going to die today in a bloody, gory blaze of AGONY!"

My fist lashed out, gouging a hole in the wall. Jackie eyed me warily and with more than a little bafflement, but I didn't pay her any mind and stalked outside, vengeance screaming in my blood.

[...]

I don't recall how long it took in my hazed state of mind but somehow, I found myself staring at the massive double doors of what could only the inner sanctum of this hellhole, consisting of a silvery metal and a black, glassy material. Any other time, I would have probably found the time to appreciate the fine craftsmanship but at this moment, all that occupied my mind was a thick, red fog and one hundred and one ideas of how making the last moments of all those behind these doors the most excruciating since the started record of time!

I barely noticed Jacqueline stepping in behind me, keeping her distance.

Laying both hands on the large doors, I pushed until the massive wings slowly began to move and a sliver of light fell through the crack, together with muted chanting. For such a massive thing, it hardly made a sound.

Within were dozens of ponies surrounding a circular stone platform, itself elevated a good seven feet off the ground. The ponies were on their knees (or whatever they're called) prostrated as they chanted whatever eldritch chant they chanted. My eyes darted to a small form in the middle of the platform where a small Pegasus filly struggled against her bonds.

Presiding over her was a unicorn stallion clad in intricate, silver armor in a vaguely reminiscent style of Nightmare Moon. He was an impressive specimen. Didn't hold a candle to Moustachio, certainly, but he could give Shining Armor a run for his money. And even from at a distance I could see that like some of the Unicorns I ran into before, his face and visible patches of fur were carved, thick and fully healed scars in the shape of strange runes and symbols.

His coat was midnight blue and mane a silvery grey and he stared with cool authority over the ponies, slowly pacing the stone platform.

"Brothers and sisters. We gather here today to accept this brave soul's sacrifice, that she may serve our rightful lady of the night. For almost two years now we have toiled in secret and while our lady's return is still over the horizon, we grow closer to her return with every day."

His cronies groveled and chanted, paying no heed to the tearful filly, pleading with them to release her.

"Mama," the filly croaked, her eyes trying in vain to catch the gaze of a nearby mare. "I'm scared, mama. Please... let me go. I'll be good, I promise!" the filly said between choked sobs. But the raving mare had completely given herself to her cause and paid no attention to her daughter. Like the ponies around her, she groveled and prostrated, chanting, her gaze never leaving the cold ground. The asshole leader then reached behind him and approached the terrified foal, dragging along a very familiar sight. My blood boiled in fury at the sight of this... this abomination even daring to soil my Beast with his foul touch.

Magic enveloped the Beast, looming like a specter over the wide-eyed filly.

"With this foal's death may we retrieve her soul and use it to bring to life a suitable vessel for our rightful Lady. So mote it be."

"So mote it be!" chanted the cultists.

The unicorn hefted the Beast higher, preparing to strike. I broke out of my stupor and decided to act.

"Drop it!" I growled with such a hate filled voice, so unlike my own.

All heads in the room snapped to me. Jackie followed soon, flanking me and axe at the ready.

"What is this?" the leader demanded in fury. "How dare you besmirch sacred ground with your presence? Who do you think you are?!"

"Your executioner!" I stated with the finality of Death herself.

The unicorn snarled. "Stop them! These heathens mean to halt our lady's rightful return!"

His cronies mobilized at once, swarming like a tidal wave at us both. Reaching out with every ounce of my willpower, I forced open a Minion portal, calling forth my own army. Sixty Browns flooded into the cavern, ready to tear, mutilate and kill at my behest.

Pointing the tip of my burning blade at the approaching kettle I roared my orders.

"Let them suffer!"

My warriors smashed into the cultists like a battering ram, sending splashes of blood and severed appendages into the air, but the insane ponies answered in kind, smashing Minions under their hooves or dousing them in lethal magic.

I followed close, my blade held in both hands. Driven by the fury that this whole place filled me with, I plowed myself a way through the mass of bodies, slashing and stabbing at every pony that came within range. All this time, my thoughts were solely focused on the leader and how to deliver him from this plane of existence only to drag his soul back to torture him for all eternity.

To my immense satisfaction, he looked horrified. A number of Browns scrambled up to finish him, but he recovered quickly. With a sneer, he swung MY Beast and felled my little munchkins, who dissolved into nothingness after their bodies broke under the massive blows.

From the corner of my eye I saw Jackie charging at a unicorn who fired off a flurry of spell at her. I almost lost it when she didn't bother to dodge and she was struck by the deadly magic. Her bulky sweater tore and split, scattering its stuffing in all directions, but the girl seemed unfazed. She swung down the axe at the panicking mare, completely cleaving her in two.

I focused again on my opponents, gratuitously throwing Fireballs and Corruption Bursts every which way, every cry of pain and agony music to my ears, each stroke of my blade as it ended a life slightly quelling the toxic rage that burned within me.

The cultists put up a fight, but the outcome proved inevitable. The combined might of my overwhelming kobold forces, Jackie swinging that monster axe of hers like nobody's business and my destructive spells whittled them down entirely. Minions overcame the weakened fighters, in some instances literally tearing them apart while on others they abandoned weapons entirely, felling the ponies with nothing but their claws, brute strength and needle-sharp teeth; the bloodlust that filled me so emboldening them as well.

With a victorious cry, I drove my sword into the gut of a felled pony, breathing in satisfaction as the blade sank deep beneath the ground and he expired soon after. The chamber had almost gone silent at this point, with only a few scattered groans of the ponies that my Minions quickly silenced.

My gaze then drifted towards the platform where to my immense displeasure, the raving maniac of a leader remained standing, trickles of blood flowing from beneath the armor.

"Heathens... imbeciles. You ruined it all!" He hissed through gritted teeth, my Beast still firmly in his magical grasp. My eyes wandered down and to my vast relief, there was the filly, alive and somehow unharmed despite the pandemonium that filled the room not long before.

"You meddling beasts have set me back years. Years! But no matter," he rambled, swaying slightly under the loss of blood. "I... I will get away. I will start again and work without rest. Not until our lady of the night is restored to her former glory."

"Give it up, freak," I growled. "Step away from the pony and I will make your death swift."

He scowled in fury. "I may fall here today, monster, but somehow, someway, somepony will take up my noble cause and work to bring our lady back to this plane of existence."

"Noble? Noble?!" I screeched. "You brainwashed ponies, used innocent foals for your foul experiments, mutilated their bodies and plotted to plunge Equestria into an eternal night and sentence every living being on it to a slow death! How is anything that you did even remotely noble? Not even the demons of Hell are so cruel!"

He sneered. "I wouldn't expect an unenlightened heathen such as you to understand. My reasons transcend the morals of mortal ponies. So long as our lady is brought back to us, there is no price too high to pay." He stared at me in defiance and before I could even stop it, he brought the Beast down. The filly barely had time to scream before her head was completely annihilated under the force of the blow, bloody pulp spraying everywhere, dousing the defiant cult leader.

Deep inside me, I felt something break.

I closed the distance to the leader with two steps and thrust my blade into his left foreleg's knee, nailing it to the floor. Before he could even scream, I let go of my sword and grabbed ahold of his horn with one hand and his skull with the other. With one savage motion, I ripped the appendage out of the cult leader's skull.

While a primal scream of pain ripped from the throat of the pony, I changed my hold to his throat and effortlessly lifted the mutilated stallion, splitting his left leg from the knee downwards as my blade cut through meat and bone without any resistance.

As he reached my eye level, I unceremoniously plunged his own horn into his left eye to the point of nearly jamming it into his brain.

Following that, I freed my blade from the ground and set the tip onto my victim's stomach. With a fluid motion, the blade sank into the soft flesh of the exposed belly before I sliced upwards all the way to his sternum, blood and guts gushing out of the gaping wound, pooling at my feet.

Drilling my own burning glare into the intact eye of the cult leader, I focused every last bit of my burning hatred, every last shred of the primordial inferno raging in my very being's core as I clenched my hand around his throat, pulverizing his windpipe.

Straining the muscles in my arm, I whispered one word to the living carcass before me.

"Burn!"

Then, I drove the head of the stallion into the ground with enough force to drive the horn still lodged in his eye socket all the way through the leader's brain to the point where it punctured the skull and stabbed into my own palm as the whole head turned into jelly under the raw force of my execution.

I breathed ravenously, heavily, as if I'd just run a marathon, barely registering the stabbing pain in my hand. I looked over to the unfortunate remains of that innocent filly, blood still leaking from the hole where her head used to be and in that moment, I felt the events of the day come crashing down on me.

I didn't even notice as I lunged off the platform, heaving and emptying my stomach's contents as painful, wracking sobs shook my body. Two small hands steadied my shoulders, Jackie giving me a few awkward pats on the back, not knowing what to say at a time like this. I shook her off. I desperately wanted to crawl into a hole and drown myself in alcohol more than anything.

As my fits seceded and I was able to breathe, I saw Jackie making her way up the platform. She bent down, grasping something and when she stood again, there she held the mutilated body of the filly in between her fingers.

"Gross." I heard her mutter before she unceremoniously dropped the corpse and bent down again to pick up my Beast.

"Is this what you were looking for?" She asked, presenting it to me, the Beast still drenched with the blood of the innocent foal, as if hoping the sight would cheer me up a little. "It's, um... it's pretty cool. Definitely feels like there's some power behind it." she said lamely.

I shoved the thing away. The mere sight of it made me nauseous. Stiffly, reluctantly, I made my way up the platform again. Jackie followed suit.

"We... we shouldn't leave her. Not like this," I croaked, staring at the filly's remains. "Not here. Not in this cursed place. We were too late to save her but..." I closed my eyes, hoping that ache in my chest would go away. "The least we can do is give her a proper burial."

I removed the cult leader's cape from him, carefully bundling the remains of the filly. "Let's get out of this place." I said firmly and opened a portal. Jackie hefted the Beast and followed suit.

The funeral, if it could be called that, was brief and without ceremony. Norbert graciously had offered a small patch of land near his hut as soon as he had laid eyes on the bloodsoaked bundle in my arms. Even then, my heart still ached over the innocent foal’s life. So much so that I couldn't even muster the strength to dig her a proper grave. Jackie took the shovel from me, offering to do it herself and I let her.

She worked methodically and diligently, on her face nary a trace of pity, remorse or any sort of indication the filly’s death affected her in any way. I suppose she did it for my sake more than anything.

Lyra and Onyx were the only ones to join us.

Onyx remained stoic, out of a sense of respect for me, I suppose. Aside from a sense of sympathy, I don't imagine the filly’s gruesome fate engendered much of anything from her.

Lyra seemed the most affected of the trio, her eyes downcast, pitying the poof foal and a steady flow of tears dripping down her snout. She'd probably forget about it in a couple of days. In that point, I envied her unconditionally.

Despite being surrounded by my friends, I felt strangely alone.

“Thanks, Jackie.” I croaked as the girl finally laid the bundled body in the grave. She made a grunt of acknowledgement and stepped back.

“We…” I licked my lips. “We should say something. A few words.” My eyes found Jackie's again. “Do you want to…?”

“No.”

"Alright," I murmured. Fighting down a sob, I willed my voice to sound as steady as possible as I looked down into the little grave. "Sleep now, sweet child and dream of endless days of joy in sun flooded meadows and peaceful nights under the moons gentle light. Until the wheel of time itself stops, the last star in the sky fades into nothing and all souls meet again in a new world of bliss and light."

Author's Note

Well, that happened...

20. A World at War

- 20. A World at War -

The following week passed without too much incident, if you didn't count Jackie's brushes with death and/or mutilation. Seriously, I don't know if the girl was born on a Friday the thirteenth or maybe some pony witch put a curse in her or something but the girl seemed to possess an uncanny amount of bad luck to make even Woebegone look like Fortuna's favorite.

Just the following morning after we buried the filly and I was still too miserable to get out of bed, the brat, bless her, came into my room well past midday and refused to leave until I got my ass off and went to eat something. No sooner did we take a few steps outside the door to my chambers that just like that, out of nowhere, an honest to goodness flowerpot smashed atop Jackie's noggin. Ignoring the fact I never remember this place even having anything remotely close to flowers (Lyra got it for herself, to brighten up the Tower or something along those lines), it was hella weird, but after some muttered cursing on Jackie's part, it was dismissed as a freak accident soon enough.

That lasted until the next day when, as I brought Jackie to the Diamond Dog mines to show off my workers and riches, one of the dogs tripped as he hauled a mining cart full of gems. The thing, with a good ton or two of weight behind it, soon barreled out of control and very nearly succeeded in turning the girl into a messy red paste on the wall. Jackie settled for throwing everything short of the destroyed cart itself at the unlucky dog as he beat a hasty retreat.

The day after, as we got together for lunch and Wiener brought in, to both out delights, a roasted goose with browned, crispy skin, and little potatoes cooked in molten goose fat (I made sure to reward him for just that alone) and when the chef Minion jumped on a little stool and set about to carving the bird, that the bigass carving knife of his slipped clear out of his greasy grasp and landed point down where Jackie's hand had been not moments before, deeply embedding itself into the wood, wobbling slightly.

"Okay, now this is getting ridiculous!" I exclaimed, my eyes never leaving the quite deadly implement. "Jackie, did you slight a Pony witch or a maybe ever run afoul of a rhyming Zebra mare that lives in the Everfree? Did you picked up a rubber ducky in an old dungeon despite better knowledge? Cos it slowly looks like you are cursed or something."

Girl didn't have an answer to that and merely muttered something about the universe trying to get her because reasons. Oh, how right she was, even if she didn't realize it at the moment. Meanwhile, I had Lyra sent away to Ponyville.

Faithful and dedicated though Minty Horse has proven to be, I could tell she missed Bon Bon and to be fair I has been cooping her up in the tower for quite some time so it would probably start to look suspicious despite the cover story we made up for Lyra´s prolonged absence. And of course, it became imperative I had a set of eyes and ears on Ponyville, even if said eyes and ears belonged to a raving, mentally unhinged, weirdo mare. Needless to say, many a Minion had sighed with relief knowing they'd no longer have to toil under the bossy pony's metaphorical thumb. Hell, I'm pretty sure they even had a party to celebrate the event. That might explain why one morning I woke up to find my munchkins sprawled unconscious throughout the tower, looking like a mini tornado had swept up in their wake.

The issue of the tunnels also needed to be addressed. As it was, the original tunnels had run dry as to any valuables hidden in them, and if I wanted to keep my goodies and riches flowing, and I really do like my goodies and riches, my dogs would have to expand the network of tunnels.

This meant that the ones that ran dry would be left to gather dust, aside from the scattered segments where my slaven dogs made their home, leaving me with abundant amounts of wasted space. Jackie was quick to point out that so many unused, unguarded space would be ripe for ponies or any other critter to move throughout the vast network of unused space without drawing attention. The security risk was simply too high to ignore and so I made it a priority to rectify this.

Legions of Minions had been dispatched to work under the dogs' watchful gaze. It was a perfect idea on my part, if I did say so myself. Though they lacked in the intellectual department, the dogs had an uncanny knowledge of the mechanics behind building halfway stable, secure underground complexes, better than any Earth foreman or architect could hope to achieve.

The dogs (mostly Patches though) expertly guided my unrelenting Minions, whose unlimited magical stamina allowed them to work tirelessly and without rest. In just a few days, my faithful kobolds' work already showed. Unnecessary tunnels had been caved in or blocked off, while the rest had been retrofitted to serve other utilitarian purposes. A few of the networks that ran under my tower had been converted into secret tunnels, accessible only to those who knew where to look, a fair few leading away from the tower in case the day came when I had to make a stealthy getaway, another one to a secluded bunker buried deep beneath the earth, another one connected to a dungeon, should I ever feel the need to take prisoners and that sneaky walnut Gnarl had somehow, without me knowing, had some of the kobolds outfit a chamber into a torture room, replete with torture racks, a wide assortment of whips, thumbscrews, various other crude instruments and an honest to goodness pit where unfortunate victims would be sacrificed to a pair of vicious Manticores! How Gnarl had gotten ahold of them, much less sneak them in without me knowing was beyond my ability to reason, and when I confronted him with it, he shrugged and said "One can never have too many torture chambers, my Lady."

In the end I relented and allowed him to keep his little... ugh, playroom (just thinking of it that way makes me shudder) promising untold pain should he ever use it on any unfortunate souls without my permission. At the very least I did acknowledge the shock value it could possess against the untrained, should I ever need to coerce an uncooperative individual into talking.

And to mine and Jackie's very unpleasant surprise, as I guided her underneath to examine my Minions' efforts, we literally shrieked in fright as out of the darkness emerged a very familiar and very fugly sight. An honest to goodness Mole Rat the size of German Shepherd, with saggy, wrinkly skin; soulless, milky eyes and a set of yellow chompers the size of a banana, capable of chewing through rock without too much trouble. Luckily, before either Jackie or I unintentionally caused a cave-in in our near frantic efforts to obliterate the fugly vermin where it stood, a Brown, Scabies, shuffled next to the Mole Rat, patting the thing and eyeing us quizzically.

Turns out my Minions had unintentionally ran into a whole pack of them as they dug and had, for lack of a better word, domesticated the damned things. A couple more Browns emerged from the darkness with flickering miners helmets on their noggins, mounting even bigger rats, the size of a pony, sporting wide grins in their faces and after much pleading on their part did I allow them to retain the disgusting beasts as pets and living tunnel drills, provided I never had to set eyes on them again.

Aside from that, Jackie and I enjoyed several days of R&R. I set her up in a swanky room close to mine with all the amenities including her own proper bathroom and a cozy bed. Smaller than mine, though, and though I offered (one half cheekiness, one half serious) that we could merely share a room and cuddle, she resoundly shut me down. I chuckled and relented, not taking offense. Besides, from what she tells me, she didn't have much in the way of privacy back in her 'Verse so I couldn't really fault her for wanting some me-time. After a few seconds of thought, I sent a mental note to Welder to make a name plaque for the room, indicating its new owner. It was shaped like a big, two headed war axe with Jackie's name on the handle.

Truth be told, I was a little worried the girl would be bored out of her mind seeing how my tower seemed to lack the amenities from good old Earth, but it didn't seem to bother Jackie any. I suppose it was the same back in her verse and she had to find new ways to occupy her time. Admittedly, though I did like my leisure time as well, I was constantly being delegated some Overlady duties day after day. Nothing big, just the mundane runnings of my tower which did their job in keeping me occupied, lest I die of boredom.

Girl constantly kept me company, save for when she wanted a little me-time, and quickly enough became familiar with the tower itself. And I must say, my little friend underwent something of a change in her personality.

It seems I'd been right when I pegged the squirt as being too wound up. Dunno if she was constantly under a state of stress or something back in her 'Verse, but she certainly seemed to loosen up during our little vacation. She smiled more, for one and even started to tentatively try to engage in conversation with me. I never would have expected it of the previously moody girl but man could she talk. Well, she is a teenage brat, so I guess that's to be expected. Hell, her mood turned so good she even made up with Onyx of all things. Well, they punched each other´s shoulder and for a chance it had been the black she-dragon who had been send flying. That in turn seemed to have earned Jackie some props with Onyx. Not sure how it happened but I am grateful nonetheless.

On nights, when the temperature would drop into the single digits (damn you awesome but glassless windows), we huddled together close to the fireplace in my room, roasting marshmallows, nuts, little bites of meat and anything else we could come up with.

But alas, our vacation came to an end. On the second week of her stay, I'd wandered to the library to peruse the ancient tomes in my possession, just to see if there was anything of note when I heard a rather telling explosion outside my window.

"The hell?" I muttered. Even from my vantage point way up in the tower did I recognize that tuft of black hair.

I opened a portal and stepped onto a rocky field outside my tower because A, I could and B, it was so much easier than running down all those stairs. Jackie was there, looking satisfied as can be, panting slightly and wiped a trail of sweat from her forehead. "What's going on here?"

Jackie looked momentarily surprised at my abrupt entrance, but smiled widely. "Practice."

"Practice?"

She bared her teeth in a grin. "Watch." She turned from me and rubbed her hands. I took in the field before us. Massive, craggy stones jutted out the ground every dozen paces or so and quite a few spots where the boulders should have rested looked like they exploded outwards, which might account for the many, many pieces of broken stones that littered the space in between their intact brethren.

After taking a few bracing breaths, Jackie cupped her hands, as if she were holding an invisible something. I felt something surge within her and in her half closed mitts, a bright green power threatened to slip through. Jackie bent down on one knee, hands planted in the ground as if she were about to go for a sprint and she let the power loose through the palms of her hand.

One of the boulders exploded, shattering into hundreds of little pieces as a broad column of that green energy erupted from the ground.

"Whoo," Jackie sighed. "I'm getting better but damn if it isn't tiring." She wiped more sweat off her forehead and looked eagerly at me, waiting for my reaction.

"Well. That... is... I... Wut?" Hm. "What the actual blinking blue blazes was that?"

"Like I said, practice. I have all this magic mojo inside me. Might as well put it to good use."

"And what use is blowing things up, Jackie girl? The massive awesome factor aside, I mean?"

"You never know." she said cattishly. Oh no you don´t! I do that smile on other people, creeping them out as fuck, not the other way round!

"Much as I encourage you to enrich that little noggin of yours, what purpose could this possibly serve? You look into taking a job in demolitions?"

"I was thinking more in the line of vaporizing ponies or any other assortment of critters."

"Jackie," I sighed. "We have been over this. Ponies are annoying but mostly harmless nuisances, no targeting practice."

"And can you guarantee we won't have to charge into battle with the little beasts for as long as we live? I guess you're gonna tell me next we will all be best of friends."

"Alright, maybe I'll admit we might have to... ugh, fight at some point but this is too damn excessive."

"Says you."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean this method..." She repeated the process, obliterating another innocent boulder into smithereens. "Is a lot quicker and cleaner than going face to face with beasties. I dunno if you noticed but I got drenched last time with the cultists and all. Got their blood and guts all over me and with a ranged move like this, I won't have to go around smelling like a soiled tampon."

Eugh! Even I couldn't help but bury my face at the crude remark. "I swear, Jackie. One of these days I will hold you down and give that potty mouth of yours a good scrubbing. With super bleach."

"Uh-huh," she drawled, looking none too impressed at my threat. "Because you're so much better, yes? Who then called Gnarl a moldy, shit stained Lustmolch [lecher], whatever that last part means.

"Argh, point taken." Just as I was about to rub my temples in frustration, I felt it again, the call. "Oh, boy." I muttered.

"What is it?"

Shit. Shitshitshitshit! I'm being called to battle while Jackie was still visiting!

"Hey, what are you...?!" Jackie protested as I pulled her close to me.

"Hush girl. Now be a good little brat and act as your beloved friend's human shield. We're about to be pulled over and..." I didn't even get to finish before we dissolved in countless motes of light.

The brat and I emerged on a little village. Nighttime, it looked like.

"What just happened?" Jackie asked, all too baffled as she disentangled from my grasp.

"We were summoned. Remember all that I told you about the Displaced and tokens?" She nodded. "That's what just happened. Another Displaced called on me. Although this one did a quite summon, I heard not a single word. Normally, people say at least a small line or something."

"But why?"

I wondered that myself. The village we found ourselves in looked deserted for the most part. Nary a sound save the whooshing of wind, rustling of leaves and the odd croaking of frogs. Nevertheless, I drew Ruin, the no longer unnamed sword I wielded in the cultists' cave and at my will, the blade erupted in flickering hellfire that made even Jackie too uncomfortable at close range. I had started to make it a habit to wear some sort of weaponry around and for some reasons, the blade made me feel secure somehow.

Hah, a razor sharp, burning blankey!

"Be ready, girl. Displaced call each other to help them fight baddies or beasties. Stay close and keep an eye out. This whole place just screams 'fuck me sideways with a garden rake'."

We wandered carefully through the small settlement, alert to any sounds our ears picked up. No such luck. Where was everybody? More importantly, where was our summoner? "I swear, if we got called here as some sort of prank I am going to be very..."

"Can we just go back to your tower?" Jackie asked. I didn't answer. Something about the situation didn't sit right with me. Where were we? Why were we summoned? Who summoned us and why hadn't they come out to say howdy do?

"Fraid not Jackie-Bear, not until my timer is up or my summoner sends us back. There are few rules about being a Displaced but those who are there mostly suck majorly," I explained in a low voice. I suddenly had an idea. What if my summoner was like Jackie, hesitant to come out or without a blue clue what just happened? I suppose Ruin did have a bit of an intimidating edge to it. I prepared to switch to Ley Sight, hoping I could pinpoint my summoner's magical signature or something.

A gargled scream tore from my throat almost immediately. My eyes burned and Jackie hastened to my side. I could hear her asking any number of questions, but I was in too much agony to respond.

"Jackie, we need to go." I said thickly, struggling to stand up.

"What do you mean? Is there..." A sharp gasp from her drew my attention.

I followed her gaze down the road where a lone pony stood. I hefted Ruin, should the little creature make a move.

"Careful, girl! That's not a pony. Not a normal one, at least," I muttered darkly, eyes never leaving the unmoving equine silhouette.

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking none too impressed at the pony.

"This whole place. It's not nearly as empty as we thought. There's magical signatures everywhere. But something's wrong with them."

A door creaked from behind us, and another pony stepped out, silent save for the clopping of his hooves, his moves stiff, slightly awkward. And as if in unison, dozens more doors followed. The ponies, stallions, mares and foals filled the street, unblinking eyes trained on us both. Jackie hissed as they surrounded us and I literally had to fight to keep my composure and from freaking out.

"Jackie, not gonna lie. This is not an up-hill battle and not a tactical advance backwards, but rather I´d have it we get the hell outta dodge. The literal air here feels wrong on a fundamental level and coming from me, that means something." I tittered, never stopping to keep as much of the creepy horses in my field of view as possible.

"What? Come on, these are even less than those cult freaks. We can take em!" My little friend ranted.

"Bail to fight another day Jacqueline. We are in unknown territory and unknown shit is going on. Like my old Sarge would have said, we need to 'get our lazy asses out of the zone intact and get some intel on the enemy forces stat' and I agree."

But whatever plans we had were negated when a lone earth pony stallion trotted forward, a crude spear in his mouth. He lumbered still with that blank, emotionless unblinking gaze that unnerved me more than a raging pack of pissed off Yorkie dogs.

Jackie uttered threats to the advancing equine and I hoped beyond hope he would heed them. No such luck. "Ey, I'm talking to you!" Jackie yelled, eliciting no response from the pony. This was bad, I could tell the girl was getting freaked out to no end, and combined with that juju inside her...

Before I could stop her, Jackie's palm glowed with that sickly green light again. I watched as the energy congealed into a wibbly-wobbly sphere(sloppy spellwork and all) in her palm and she threw it like a baseball at the pony. I gasped as the sheer might inside that little orb completely severed his front leg. The pony stumbled, but otherwise made no reaction to the crippling wound it now bore. It steadied itself on his remaining hooves and drew closer.

"Great, Nurgle ponies!" I wailed "Also, fuck Jackie, fuck dammit!"

"The hell is up with these things?" Jackie seethed.

"Some of the blackest magic, that´s what!" I hissed back, tightening my grip on my sword.

The pony advanced. In desperation, Jackie conjured another of her gunky green magic things and hurled it at the pony. This time, the green orb carved a deep gouge in his chest. The stallion's body shuddered violently and a haze lifted from his eyes. He looked down in surprise to the big hole in his chest and screamed in agony, falling on three legs and uttered a death rattle before going still.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered. "They're being controlled. This... What kind of dark magic could do this? The only bad guy I know so far... nah, not nearly enough crystals around..."

The remaining villagers looked to their felled comrade and moved as one with the clear intent to swarm us.

"Jackie dearest, I think you just set the hornet's nest on fire!" I almost screeched, unable to hold my irritation and fury back any longer.

Already balling her fists and shrouding them in her magic, Jackie barked back. "I gave plenty of warnings but no, that zombie horse did not heed em, so he got it! What? Should I have given him a bloody love tap and send him to the corner instead?"

"Not now!" I barked back, feeling the lightness in my head that came with adrenaline. My body was at this point screaming at me to finally make up my mind and choose between fight or flight.

Now few ponies silently produced an array of mob weapons, mostly what looked like worn cooking knives, a few shivs, clubs that were nothing more than thick branches too long for the oven and the like.

A foal, a filly if I had to guess, starred up to me with these blank eyes, a pointy piece of metal wrapped in a bit of cloth to form a handle held in her mouth and took a step forward.

Ice cold dread flooded my core.

At this rate, it was more than certain that we would end up fighting. Jackie already had drawn the first blood...

Pictures of the poor filly from the cave rushed back to my mind and with it the memories of helplessness but also the burning hatred that so soon had replaced it.

No!

I would not fight children, I refused to lower myself to that! I was a monster, yes but not a beast. Not yet!

A loud crack brought my senses back and I just saw a bunch of the controlled ponies getting bowled over by one of their own and Jackie in the last motions of swinging a right hook.

"Get your shit together!" The brat yelled. "I swear, if you have some sort of breakdown now, I will ditch you here and now!"

Crude as her words where, she had a point. Surviving now, everything else later!

Just in time for me to feel something bump and scratch against my shinguard. Looking down, I saw the foal with its shiv wailing away at my leg since that was all it could reach. It would have been cute in a deranged kind of way would it not had made my heart clamp together painfully.

"Sorry." I whispered, gritting my teeth and kicked the young pony like a football, sending it tumbling between the legs of its adult brethren until it finally hit the wall of one of the huts with an audible clonking sound. Did not sound wet, thanks for small favors.

Said small favors came to an end when Jackie charged up again and sent columns of that crippling volatile energy straight into the ponies. The unfortunate equines were literally torn apart into fleshy, bloodsoaked pieces that slapped against their brethren, who continued on their silent march.

"Call your Minions already. Do you wanna end up as a bloodied paste?" Jackie snarled as she picked up a discarded club and threw it at the advancing ponies, cracking at least one skull.

I relented and opened two portals. Forty gibbering Browns and twenty Reds spilled forth. The battle, if it could even be called that, began in earnest. It was little more than a slaughter. My Reds divided in groups and climbed atop the buildings, pelting the unsuspecting ponies with globs of hellfire from their vantage points.

My heavily armored Browns charged as one. Spears and halberds literally skewered the lumbering ponies as the wall of Browns clashed with the controlled but numb equines. Despite my best judgment, I joined in and sent a mental command to my Browns to cripple instead of kill. It wouldn't do any good to the already dead ponies but better late than never.

Those that weren´t torn apart now found themselves with a broken or missing limb or severe, crippling burns. But even then, they remained stoic, under whatever spell controlled them. Only death seemed to grant release.

Ruin arced through the air, severing limbs, immediately cauterizing them under the searing heat of the hellfire. Taking inspiration, I bombarded a stallion with a Corruption Burst. His body jerked and twitched in agony, but it seemed even the power of my favorite spell could not overwrite what dark sorceries plagued his mind.

Of course, the ponies did not take this lying down. They stomped where they could, felling Minions under their surprisingly powerful kicks, caving in heads and breaking bones and more than a few of my kobolds found themselves on the receiving end of a shiv, garden rake, scythe or whatever else the ponies appropriated as weapons. They charged without regard for their own safety, as if determined to overcome my kobolds through sheer numbers alone. Then again, my Minions were kind of the same.

Nevertheless, I did not like at all how many munchkins fell under the ponies' assault. I felt a slight pang of guilt knowing I was partially responsible. My kobolds were limited in their abilities due to the no killing rule and now they were paying for it.

Two columns on sickly green energy tore through the ground, courtesy of Jackie, literally tearing ponies apart again and stunning the rest, thus giving my Minions some much needed respite.

After that, it became a clean-up operation more than anything. Stragglers were liberated of their weapons and tied up with whatever was available. Throughout the whole ordeal they uttered nary a word and looked at us through literally bloodshot eyes. Creepy...

I surveyed the damage to the town. Numerous houses were already on fire, courtesy of my Reds or in some instances a flaming pony who brushed against said settlements. Bodies and body parts littered the ground, itself wet with blood and the stench of organic waste hung heavily on the air.

"Someone is gonna pay for this!" I growled.

While Jackie was busy wiping off pony blood from her arm, I used my Ley sight again, searching for a possible source of magic. I caught something. A single dim spark far away, underground. Not the overpowering darkness that hung off the possessed ponies but a living, coherent being.

I rushed the place as far as my feet could take me. Whoever this bitch or asshole was, was gonna pay. My run led me to a concealed set of doors that led downward, hidden underneath some bushes. With a Corruption powered punch, I broke the lock and dove inside. Shaking the pain in my hand away, I looked around. A narrow hallway, lighted by the flame of a single lamp with a door at the end. I gripped Ruin and kicked down the door.

A magical bolt shot straight to my face, but I narrowly dodged it and went in. An equine figure collided against my taller form, causing me to drop Ruin. I was suddenly grateful for Gnarl putting me through all those strength exercises for otherwise, the pony would have succeeded in bowling me over. I hefted the surprised pony and threw it (or her, if the scream was anything to go by) into a nearby desk which broke under the weight.

I picked up Ruin and stepped closer to the moaning mare. A slight pink coat and two toned mane of purple and blue.

"Starlight Glimmer?" I rasped.

The pony's eyes shot up, taking in my form. There was no fear there, just a weary resignation that clearly mirrored her face.

"You... you did all this?" I asked incredulously. "Why?" I demanded. "You stupid, self-centered, communist bitch!" I grabbed her by her, well, collar? Do naked Ponies have a collar? Anyways!

The pony looked down miserably, not saying anything.

"Oh no, you don't," I picked her up, her small form almost weightless under the sheer fury that coursed through me. "I want answers and I want them now."

"What does it matter?" She asked miserably. "You killed them, all my ponies and now," she choked back a sob. "Now I won't have a chance to make it right."

"Make it right? Make it right?!" I screamed in outraged astonishment. "Of course you can't make it right, you commie bitch! You just sent innocent ponies to die. You broke their minds so thoroughly that most of them not even noticed when they got literally shredded to bloody bits! And for what? What did you hope to accomplish with all this?"

"It's all my fault," she said miserably. "I had to fix things. I wanted to make it right again, just as it should be. Not this. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"And so was Auschwitz, Dachau and all the other death camps!" I roared into her self-pitying face. Disgusted, I threw the pony down and leaned close. "By God, you're gonna talk straight or what I did to your victims out there I will inflict on you tenfold. Now talk."

Starlight looked up at me with such weariness, no fear on her features. She was awfully tired, so much so that it overcame whatever fear she should have felt. "I had to do this," she said in a small voice. "It's my fault. This timeline, Sombra, the war. All the lives that have been lost in his lust for power. It's all my fault. I never wanted this. I wanted to break her, to make her suffer. I wanted to take Twilight Sparkle's destiny from her. I never meant for all this to happen, I swear." She licked her lips.

"Sombra's armies are too powerful, his methods brutal. I... I had to do something. Something to help end this war. I wanted to build an army for Equestria. An army even grander than Sombra's so he could be defeated and this pointless war come to an end."

"What? What are you even babbling about?" I asked.

"This, all of it," she waved a hoof. "This skewed timeline is my doing. I never wanted it, I swear," she said yet again. "But now it's too late. Some dark magic is disrupting the flow of time. I can't go back and make things right again, but if I can, I will help end this war."

I rubbed my head. This is way more than I'd bargained for. What was she talking about anyway? Did something happen in the show with Pony Stalin after I came here? I opened my mouth to ask more questions, but before I could, several things happened at once.

An oppressive presence manifested itself in the small chamber, so overwhelming I nearly fell to my knees. Something materialized in the room. Something that radiated dark power, but almost immediately was subdued. Nonetheless I jumped for Ruin. Starlight screamed and the familiar sound of metal cutting through flesh and bone filled the air. When I looked, there slumped Starlight's lifeless body, her severed head rolling away.

"Holy fucking hell!" I whirled around, sword raised and adrenaline hammering through my veins. I lunged at the figure, a broad structure of muscle and armor, easily towering over me which was a feat in itself. Ruin swung, itching to repay the favor. Just because I gave Glimmer a thrashing and a bit of abuse, decapitation had not been on the list.

A sword longer than mine blocked my thrust. Undeterred, I went in for more strokes, but Ruin was expertly blocked time after time, the figure's swordplay a step above my own.

"Die!" I screamed and in irrational anger, magics pooled in my palm, forming a massive Fireball, which I hurled at the figure. An armored hand moved forth to intercept the fiery projectile, which exploded in a searing blast of heat, light and concussive force. The close proximity caused me to sail through the air and crash into the wall. My head was ringing, a trickle of a warm something flowed out of my nose.

The world was a blur as I fought to right myself before he could finish the job. A set of hurried footsteps could be made out and a familiar pair of hands held me down. Jackie's face blurred through my vision, her features lined with worry. I saw a smoldering figure lumber close. I tried to open my lips to call out a warning, but a gurgle was all I could make out. Starlight's killer stopped beside Jackie. He uttered some words to the girl, too garbled for me to make out. I wanted nothing more than to stand back up, get Ruin and finish our duel, but he bent down, his massive palm covered my eyes and then, darkness. Nothing.

Author's Note

Shit officaly hit the fan, clocked it and set it on fire, people.

The heartless Renegade arc is rapidly approaching it´s climax (three chapters left), with a mysterious stranger stepping onto the stage. Stay tuned peeps and peepetes and prepare some umbrellas cause those in the first few rows will get wet.

21. The best laid Plans...

21. The best laid Plans...

- 21. The best laid Plans… -

[Jackie´s POV]

“So that's basically the gist of it, from what Umbra tells me.”

“Interesting,” Ganondorf muttered as he took in Jacqueline’s explanation. It had been a very illuminating experience. “And this token,” he held up Umbra’s pendant for a closer look. “Is capable of pulling someone through dimensions?" Jackie nodded and Ganondorf examined the item more closely.

"There is a strange power inside this object," he muttered more to himself. "Almost as if it's dormant, but of such an arcane branch of magic I have never heard of." He looked to Jackie again. "Do you know why I summoned the two of you here?"

The smaller girl shrugged. "I assume you need help with something or another? Umbra says that's the reason why tokens exist in the first place, for Displaced to help each other defeat a bad guy or whatever." She looked around the longhouse, as if expecting an abomination to pop up at any moment. "You don't have a bad guy here, do you?"

"Not here, in this village. And I don’t have a 'bad guy'. I have over two thousand of them and they are all camped at the base of this mountain." He continued at her questioning gaze. "Since my arrival in this world I have attempted to keep my presence from the ponies as much as possible."

"Can't imagine that's been easy. The whole place is infested with them," Jackie remarked, eliciting a slight smirk from Ganondorf.

"For the past two years, Equestria has been embroiled in a war with a neighboring kingdom far to the north, the Crystal Empire. Despite my best attempts, both parties are now aware of my presence."

Jackie snorted. "And let me guess. They want to either kill you or convince you to join them."
"To put it lightly. A garrison of over two thousand Equestrian forces sit at the base of the mountain this very moment, preparing to take the village by force and kill every living thing in sight."

"Really?" Jackie asked, looking sideways at Ganondorf, a skeptical look etched on her face. "I always took the ponies as gutless little pieces of fluff. Seems way too hardcore for them."

"Perhaps in your universe this is true," Ganondorf continued. "In this world, the Crystal Empire is presided by a king named Sombra. The ponies under his command are brainwashed into his service. They will die and endure the most extreme forms of torture before betraying him. Sleeper agents have delivered devastating strikes against the civilian populations of Equestria, able to pass as one of their fellow citizens without anyone being the wiser. Despite their best efforts, the Equestrians have yet to devise a way to break Sombra's hold over his victims and so any ponies suspected of being under his influence are to be immediately executed."

To Ganondorf's surprise, Jackie erupted in a fit of chuckles. "Oh, man. Ponies must have been really desperate to resort to such extreme measures. God, what I wouldn’t give for the little princess to what's become of her kingdom."

"Princess?"

"I haven't told you, have I? Where I come from, your secretary Sparkle has overcome the limitations of her ilk and was made a princess. Horn, wings and everything. No castle, though. All she had was a weird treebrary on a miserable little mud hovel called Ponyville."

"Interesting," Ganondorf muttered. "How did Twilight become a princess?"

"Friendship lessons."

Ganondorf frowned. "Friendship lessons?"

Jackie held both palms up placatingly. "Hey, that's what I was told. Apparently Twilight had been sent by Celestia to Ponyville to study—ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this—the magic of friendship. Apparently, when Celestia deemed her ready, she gave her a pair of wings, slapped a tiara and a fancy title on her and declared her Princess of Friendship," the very words seemed to sicken Jackie, if the grimace in her face was anything to go by.

Ganondorf considered this for a moment. "I have detected a great power in Twilight. It's untapped and dormant but it's there. I don’t believe she is even aware of it. Could this be related to her being a princess?"

"Meh, I don’t think so. Way I heard it she had more magic than the average pony even way before becoming a princess, all the way to her childhood. I dunno if she was bragging or something but apparently she was able to carry off an Ursa Minor by herself with nothing but her magic. But who knows. She might have been lying."

Ganondorf rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Perhaps."

"So I've been meaning to ask," Jackie continued, drawing Ganondorf's attention. "How did you come by here, this place? And how do you control these ponies?"

"I awoke in a crystal prison. How I came to be there, trapped and in this world, I do not know. The ponies found me in a research laboratory, hoping to somehow draw from me a way to formulate an advantage over the armies of the empire."

"And I'm guessing that didn't go over too well?"

"It went very well, I'd like to think, for not only do I possess Ganondorf's body, but it seems his mastery of magic has passed on to me as well. I used it and the power granted by the Triforce," he showed the back of his hand to Jackie where indeed, the yellow triangular shape of the Triforce of power brimmed with a yellow glow. "To break out of my prison and conscript the ponies into my service. We made our way out of the research base, but did not go unnoticed for long. Now both Equestria and the Crystal Empire are aware of my presence."

"And you summoned me and Umbra to bail you out, ya?" Jackie asked with a slightly mocking grin.

"Did I choose wrongly?" Ganondorf asked evenly, schooling his features into an unreadable mask.

"Oh, I think we should be able to help... if we wanted to, at least. I'm still not crazy about you ditching the two of us in that town filled with brain controlled ponies," Jackie said, a measure of sharpness in her words. "And you know, with Umbra all banged up, she won't be able to do much."

"Then I am fortunate you came along. I saw what you did to the ponies. Even from here I sense the magic that flows through your veins."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Jackie remarked, inspecting her nails. "But I'm still kinda pissed and not feeling very charitable at the moment. And much as I hate to admit it, I think two thousand ponies are too much for me to take on alone."

"I wouldn't expect you to do so. Their force easily outnumbers mine and capable as you may be, you are right. No, this is not something that will be won by brute strength alone. That is why you will be responsible for infiltrating the Equestrians' war camp and deliver a devastating blow."

"Umbra doesn't want me to kill my way out of things. Says it's unhealthy and... well, she does have a point."

"And she is right," Ganondorf said to Jackie's surprise. "But whether her words are true or not is irrelevant. This is not your world nor mine. Perhaps, if things were different, the ponies and us would be able to live in peace together. But that will not happen. We are very different beings with varied ways of thinking and different ways of looking at the world. You and I will never be able to integrate into their society and if I am correct, this is something you have figured out as well. Am I wrong?" He asked and watched Jackie closely.

The smaller girl frowned. "Well... no," she said quietly. "It's been obvious to me since day one. It's been obvious every day I'm forced to interact with them. But Umbra says I should make an attempt and she's right. I won't be going away any time soon, not back home, I mean. Whether I like it or not, I have to try and make nice with the little beasts."

"To try and coexist with them and to become a part of their world are two different things. No matter your efforts, you will never be seen as one of them, nor should you attempt to do so. Our identity is ours and ours alone. But in essence, she is correct. To try and coexist between them is a worthy goal, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you'll be accepted as one of their own, especially not after what you told me about your world." He stepped forward and looked at Jackie closely, the girl's mouth drawn in a tight line.

"We are killers. You, me, Umbra. We've taken lives because we had to and so long as we remain in this world, we will do so again. It is inevitable. It is a perilous path to take, certainly, but it is only because we've gone to such extremes that we are alive, whole, and have retained a semblance of our freedom. Do you deny it?" Ganondorf could see the emotions flickering behind the girl's eyes, noting it with satisfaction. He found he rather liked her.

She'd told him about her universe, the trials she'd endured and truthfully, she'd been very lucky to have come so far alive and whole. Of course, luck played only a small part in that. Jackie was like him in more ways than she realized. They'd both inexplicably found themselves ripped from their homes and into a strange world and like him, she too had to quickly adapt to this new reality and learn how to survive. She was smart enough as circumstances dictated, a quick learner and could push aside her emotions and do what needed to be done in order to retain her life and freedom. A useful trait to be sure and one that this Umbra had foolishly tried to stamp out of Jackie. Ganondorf watched the girl closely, knowing it best to let her arrive to the only possible conclusion. She didn't disappoint him.

"No. It's true, what you're saying. I knew it to be true but..."

"Umbra's heart is in the right place. She cares for you and it is because of that she would attempt to dissuade you from this line of thinking. But whether her intentions are pure or not, the fact remains her actions are foolish and will very likely put you at risk." He turned his back to Jackie, hands clasped behind him. "There are too few of us and too many of them that we cannot afford to doubt ourselves. Whatever paths our lives may have taken back on our worlds, whatever destinies we were destined to walk, that is all irrelevant now. Now we must survive in a world we do not belong. We've had to make hard choices, you and me. We have done things our families would find repulsive, that some might say would doom us to eternal damnation, and we will do so again. That is the way of our world now and there is nothing that will change it."

"You make it sound so bleak," Jackie murmured.

"Perhaps. But I will tell you this." He turned back to her, holding her gaze. "We have been gifted with unique powers and abilities, attributes normal ponies—normal people—can only dream of. We have a unique opportunity to forge our own path in this world, to breach, to break barriers and achieve new heights we could only dream of in our homes." He now held her complete attention and he strode forward, Jackie's eyes searching his. "So tell me, Jacqueline, will you bend to Umbra's wishes? Will you cease hostilities with the ponies and pursue a peaceful path, knowing all too well such a choice would spell your doom? Or will you forge your own path, rise above your station in life and demonstrate to the creatures of the world what a human being is truly capable of? This is not a choice Umbra nor I can make for you. It is yours and yours alone."

°°°

[Umbra´s POV]

Not for the first nor for the last time would I awake in a strange place. My body ached and felt bruised, my back most of all and every twitch of my limbs seemed a battle in itself.

"Oh, you're awake," an oddly familiar voice said. Hooves clopped steadily closer to me and from my vantage point I could barely make out a blurred mess of purple. "Take care not to exert yourself. Your body is recovering but it needs time to heal." the voice said calmly.

"Wa... water," I rasped. I felt the pulse of magic and the sloshing of water before a cup was gently pressed to my face.

"Drink slowly," the mare said and I gratefully did so, sighing as I laid back down. The world came into focus now and Twilight Sparkle's form entered my field of vision. "How are you feeling?"

I merely looked at the pony. She was instantly recognizable as Twilight, yet there was something different about her. The spectacles certainly hadn't been there last time I saw the mare in my own universe, nor was I used to seeing the mare's normally flowing mane in a tight bun, nor a pressed white shirt and lab coat over her body. Not that it did not suit her.

"Like shit..." I groaned and made to sit up against Twilight's protests. "I'm fine, I'm fine," I said impatiently, waving her away. Twilight meekly retreated, giving me some space. Then it clicked. The Twilight I knew was a confident pony, not one to show submission to even the greatest of opponents.

"Please don't exert your body more than necessary. Ganondorf wants me to make sure you don't harm yourself."

"Ganondorf?" I snapped. "Is that who..."

"The one who brought you here? Yes. Your friend is here as well. She and Ganondorf are in the main hall. I'm supposed to let them know when you're awake."
With the speed of a viper, completely ignoring my banged up state, my hands found Twilight´s collar. "Jackie´s alone with Ganondorf? Take me to them Purple Smart and pronto!" I hissed. My body promptly took revenge by sending me into a new set of painful cramps out of protest.

"Ahh, pl-please miss, you need to stay calm. You'll aggravate your injuries and..." Twilight tried but was cut off.

"Calm, my ass!" I wheezed, sitting up "Take me to my friend this instant or Darkness help me!" I glared at the Unicorn, shakily coming to my legs.

Twilight moved quickly, offering her withers for support. She grunted lightly as my weight bore on her but bared it without complaint.

"Where is this place anyway?" I gasped as Twilight led the way out.

"Haven's Peak. A small village secluded in the mountains. Ganondorf and his forces took over a few weeks ago."

"What? What do you mean? How long was I out?"

"A little over a day. You suffered severe concussive force that shattered many of your bones. Your eardrums burst from the sheer intensity of a near point blank exploding Fireball, but we managed to mend them. Your hearing should be dulled for a few days as they fully heal."

"How nice," I muttered. "And you? Why are you here and not Ponyville? Did this Ganon guy kidnap you or something?"

Twilight cocked her head, staring quizzically at me like I sprouted a second head. "Ponyville? That little town at the base of Canterlot?"

"Is there any other?"

Twilight shrugged. "I only went to Ponyville once and that was to explore the ruins of Everfree Castle. Why would I be there?"

I sighed, not liking where this line of thought was heading. Starlight Glimmer had raved about changing timelines or some such, Twilight's name having been thrown in. Just what did I miss?

"Do the names Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash mean anything to you?" I asked as we stepped foot outside. The crisp mountain air felt refreshing to my lungs, the tang of pine needles a welcome reprieve from the smell of blood and death and the rising sun over the mountain peak lent an air of serenity that did not fit the tense atmosphere of the place. We passed through maintained but worn dirt roads, ponies already out and about doing their daily chores. They quirked a curious eyebrow at the unlikely pair that Twilight and I were but made no comment.

"Hmm," Twilight hummed. "I have heard of Rainbow Dash of course. Almost everypony has. A war hero who joined the Wonderbolts a few years ago. At the battle of Mustangia she and her small platoon of guards held down a fortified position against Sombra's forces until reinforcement arrived. As to the others..." She trailed off in thought. "No. The names are not familiar to me. Should they be?" She asked genuinely.

"Wow, this is the most fucked up Universe I've been summoned in so far," I muttered, hissing at my damn protesting limbs. Then I looked down at Twilight. "Depends if this Universe still has them draw breath and their personalities are mostly the same as in the others. Then yes, they are worth looking into. One can always use a few friends as back up in a fucked up situation. Or in a world like this."

"So it's true then? You're from another world?" She stared at me intently, traces of the inquisitive Twilight I knew shining through.

"Aye, little Unicorn. Umbra the Overlady, Mistress of Minions, Ruler of the Dark Tower, Darkness Incarnate, All the Things Going Bump in the Night, Cheapshot Queen, Fighter, Lover..." The last title, I drawled out purposely low only to cough painfully. "Ouch, my everything... and yes, before you ask, there are many other worlds, Universes, out there. An infinite amount to be exact. One for every 'what if', one for every decision made by mortals and immortals alike. An ever expanding Multiverse."

"I see," Twilight said, though it was clear much of that went over her head. "And you... you came from another Equestria?"

"Correct."

"How is the war going? Did Equestria win?" She asked hopefully.

"Well, I have not started a war yet and when I do, I doubt you Ponies will stand a chance. No offense but you lot rely on Deus Ex Machinas way too much."

"What?" she asked, clearly baffled.

"I said how did this war even start in the first place? Didn't Celestia catch Sombra's return in time? And even more importantly," I peered close at Twilight. "Why weren't you there to stop him together with Spike when the Crystal Empire re-appeared?"

Now Twilight really did shoot me a look that clearly questioned my sanity. Why do people do that all the time? "What? What are you even talking about?" She said with annoyance creeping into her voice. "Why would I stop Sombra? How would I stop him? And what's a Spike?"

"Just to make things clear, you were never Princess Sunbutt's private pupil? Never hatched a dragon egg as an entry test for Celestia's school? Never tasked with learning the magic of friendship? None of that?"

Twilight's visage darkened at the mention of Celestia. "When I was a filly, I applied to take a test and prove I was worthy to become Celestia's pupil." She sighed. "But I failed. I tried everything I could think of, but I could never get that damned egg..." She spat venomously and trailed off. Umbra watched closely. Clearly she'd brought up bad memories. "But no, I didn't become her pupil. I finished school, took a job at the Canterlot library and interned for a research company. When the war broke out I joined a team of scientists to research methods of war. We were tasked with finding new ways to counter the might of Sombra's armies and his war machines. We actually made good headway. We were on the right track to create an instantaneous method of communication when... he came."

"Who?"

"We're here now," Twilight said abruptly. I looked to see in front of us a pretty Viking-ish longhouse, well equipped to host hundreds of bodies. I could not help but to imagine faintly smelling mead. "Ganondorf and your friend are inside. Come, we shouldn't keep the waiting."

I adjusted my grip on Twilight as they climbed the few steps. Twilight used her magic to open the large oaken doors with a groaning of wood. An assortment of long tables were inside. Two stone hearths on each side of the hall, with a big one at the end. I immediately detected Jackie near the end, sitting atop one of the stone protrusions on the hearth, legs swaying as she engaged who could only be Ganondorf in conversation.

The two occupants looked at us. Ganondorf's face remained impassive while Jackie leapt down and hurried to my side. I groaned lightly as the smaller girl threw my arm around her own small shoulder for support. Twilight sighed with relief as I slackened her grip and moved aside.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in bed," she admonished.

"What are you talking about? I'm right as summer rain, can't you tell? Could do leap frogs for hours on end." I groaned sarcastically. I scowled as Ganondorf's heavy footsteps thundered close.

I glared at the towering figure, clad in ornate armor colored a deep blue, nearly black in the dim lighting. An equally large cape flowed behind the massive humanoid and my eyes found his, Ganondorf's visage an impassive emotionless mask framed by light orange hair, a contrast to my seething glare.

"You!" I hissed.

"Me." Ganondorf said simply. "You really should take more care of your body. Any fool can clearly see it is clearly exerting itself."

"What not kills me makes me stronger and what breaks me even more so." I coughed. "And what the hell was that about back there? You murdered Starlight. Chopped off her head like it was nothing."

"Will you deny she deserved it?"
"Yes... No... Grrr! Of course she deserved it! That mindbending shit she pulled back there was even stronger and more cruel than my own, effectively turning Ponies into hollow shells that nothing short of death could stop."

"Starlight was a misguided soul, wishing to atone for crimes known only to her. It did not change the fact she posed a threat to me."

"Then dress her into a red mask and chains, give her a Zweihander and let her find redemption in a death in the front lines. Don't be so fast with a death sentence in the future!" I snarled.

"I will deal with threats to me however I deem it best," he replied. "But that does not matter. Starlight is dead and so this line of talking is pointless. You have been summoned here to help me deal with a threat to me and my ponies."

I grew furious. "And I haven't forgotten about that," she snarled. "What was that shit you pulled, leaving Jackie and me to face a bunch of controlled thralls? We could have died! No really a problem for me, but for Jackie."

"If you were so weak as to fall under spellbound ponies, barely able to function without direction, then you would be useless to me. I had to ensure your mettle and skills proved strong," he said without a hint of regret.

"How about I knock you senseless and leave your ass to some hungry Mole Rats?!? Let´s see how hot you are then, shall we?" I countered venomously.

"You could do that. It doesn't change the fact I am in need of your assistance and if what your friend tells me is true," he looked at Jackie, who seemed to hold none of the contempt or animosity raging through me. "You are to remain here until you've served your purpose."

"Wow, sugar, way to make a lady feel appreciated. Do you think there is even the smallest possibility I will help you after the shit you just pulled?! You know what, I am not nearly stoned enough for this right now!"

"No. In your current state you are useless to me. A well trained pony would make short work of you. She, however," he nodded to Jackie. "Will prove more than adept."

"The fuck SHE will!" I managed to roar, finding enough energy to shove myself between my friend and the Gerudo Lord. "Me? Fine and even if my Minions have to wheel me into battle! Hell, I´d even go so far as giving you temp command of a Minion task force but not Jaqueline! Over my cold body and considering that I have the nasty habit not to stay down, that could take a whi..." My righteous fury was cut short by another spasm and coughing fit that speckled my palms with blood. I then settled for hotly glaring at my massive counterpart, trying to shield Jackie as much from sight as possible.

"I can speak for myself, you know." the smaller girl said with a hint of annoyance.

"Then tell this massive dick he can go shove it where the sun don't shine! No one conscripts my little girl!"

"Right. About that..." she hesitated for a second. "I already... kinda sorta promised I'd help him."

"What?!"

Jackie shrugged. "What? He's a human in a world of ponies in need of help. Isn't that kind of the whole point of us being here?"

"Yes... but..." I sputtered. "Did you forget the part where he set us against a bunch of murdering, brain controlled ponies?"

"Because that's so much different than going against a group of raving cultists," she drawled. "Which by the way, you all but charged into after that little episode of yours. That reckless charge could have gotten us both killed, you know?"

"Argh! I'm trying to make a point here, stop pointing out all of that!" I seethed. "Besides, I am an adult and you're not!"

"So if it comes to putting my life at risk that's okay, but when you don't like it I'm suddenly not an adult?"

"That's the point. You're the kid, I'm the adult and this adult says you are not gonna help this prick one single iota without me giving the A-Okay."

"Then you will both die." Ganondorf said.

I felt myself swelling with fury. "Is that a threat Ganonprick?" I growled.

"It is a fact. Equestrian forces are camped at the base of this mountain as we speak. By this time tomorrow, they will advance and kill every single living thing in this village, you two included."

"Wait one Darkness damned second! I thought Sombra was the enemy?"

"He is enemy to the Equestrians, but my allegiance is to myself. The Equestrians view me in as much a favorable light as you."

"I can get behind that, same here..." I grudgingly admitted. "So the enemy here is the Retard Guard? Those golden plated idiots can normally barley handle themselves against a blind kitten? Or is this the only 'Verse where they are actually competent?" I mused more to myself. "Well, whatever. You can go to hell while Jackie and I slip out the opposite side of this mountain."

"Then their scouts will spot you and you will be faced down with a legion of hardened war veterans."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Gah! Fine! I´ll give you a company of Minions but Jackie stays put. She does not even have her axe, not to start with armor. I do not let her walk into a fucking warzone just in her everyday duds!"

"Your Minions will be a welcome addition, but it is Jacqueline who will be the crux in this endeavor. I need her assistance more than yours. There is a skilled enough smith here who will fashion armor for her, and my enchantments will grant her enough protective wards from magical attacks."

"I can do this, Umbra," Jackie affirmed. "It's gonna be cake, like with the cultists and those ponies last night, no biggie."

"I still don’t like it, not one bit!" I grumbled and looked at Ganondorf. "Why Jackie? Why is she so important to this scheme of yours?"

Ganondorf paused, measuring his words. "The ponies of this village are mine and my responsibility. They were peaceful, for the most part and only a select number of them were trained for combat. The army at the mountain's base outnumbers us four to one. If we are to make a stand, then their morale must be raised. Jacqueline will prove instrumental to that. She will infiltrate the Equestrians' camp in the night and tear them apart from the inside. They will suffer a severe blow to their own morale, buying us further time to prepare and hold back their assault."

"Wow wo wow, let me stop you right there! Jackie? Infiltrating? To infiltrate, you need to be cunning, subtle and silent. Jackie is as cunning as a kindergartner, subtle like a sledgehammer to the face and silent like an atom bomb." I looked to Jackie, cracking a small smile "No offense, brat." Then I turned back to Ganondorf. "You´d better have her tear into a portion of the enemy, like a flank maneuver or something. Collateral is more her thing."

The smaller girl rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence." She disentangled from Umbra's grasp and backed a few steps. Her form shimmered and warped, her figure dissolving and turning into a perfect replica of a generic golden armored guard. "Here's the ticket," she said smugly.

I face palmed with a pained groan "Right. Forgot that I taught you that spell for a moment. Brain´s still a bit jumbled." Then I addressed the Gerudo again "Okay, infiltration is a go but I still want a chair overlooking the battlefield and some spy glasses so I can direct my Minions better."

Ganondorf's lip curled into what might have been a smirk. "You won't need that." He looked pointedly at Twilight, who had been watching the proceedings quietly. From her lab coat the pony produced a small, violet crystal in the shape of a rhombus, which floated atop Ganondorf's palm.

"What is that?" I asked.

In response, Twilight gave an identical crystal to Ganondorf's remaining palm. One of the crystals levitated out the window, well out of reach while the remaining one on Ganondorf's palm spun furiously in place and shone with an inner light and from it shined a projection, the village of Haven's Peak in a bird's eye view. The village then grew larger, the image shifted again to the longhouse, the open window and back to the room, where the remaining crystal floated in.

"Huh. Neat." I murmured in spite of myself. These things were kinda handy. Maybe I could get my mitts on a crate full of them?
"So we're agreed then?" Jackie asked. "I sneak in, kick some pony butt and slip away before they know what hit them. Sounds simple enough."

"Don't you jinx it hon! But yes." I deflated with a sigh.

°°°

[Jackie´s POV]

"Say that again," Jackie said, her words brimming with poison.

"You committed a great evil yesterday," Twilight responded quietly. "You murdered and took life when you could have easily spared it. Those ponies were innocent, bewitched and commanded by dark magic. They were victims in all this."

"Perhaps you missed the part where they tried to kill me and my friend," the girl retorted bitingly. "And as you said, they were enthralled. Hell, their minds were likely broken by the time we got there. For all you know they would have gone stark raving mad and... I dunno, killed and eaten their own kids and stuff." She sniffed. "Besides, from what I hear we did you guys a favor, and it isn't murder if they have weapons and they're trying to kill you. An egghead pony like yourself should be able to work that out at least."

"They were bewitched," Twilight's words barely held a sense of calm, the anger hidden beneath threatening to spill forth. "I understand you were under a lot of pressure and you needed to ensure your and your friend's survival but..."

"Excellent. So we're in agreement. Stuff tried to kill me and I returned the gesture in kind. Glad we worked that out."

Twilight seethed, but fought to compose herself. Her parents would encourage her to be the larger pony and keep a straight mind, but the human's callous attitude and disregard to the lives she claimed strained her composure to the breaking point.

"Do you regret any of it? Do you feel the smallest sliver of remorse for the things you've done?"

"Remorse..." Jackie looked upwards, pretending to think it over. "Is that the one that makes your pants feel funny?" She snickered at her own joke. "No, princess. Fat lot of good that would do me now. I dunno if you were paying attention but I gotta go down there in a few hours and kick some pony flank. Or is it plot? Whatever," she shrugged. "These things happen." she said simply.

"Eighteen." Twilight whispered.

"What's that now?"

"That's the number of foals you tore apart. When it was over, we took the wounded here, to be healed. I supervised the aftermath of the attack myself. I saw the broken bodies of your victims. You didn't kill them. You slaughtered them like animals."

"So, what, you gonna give me a time out?"

Twilight halted in her tracks and for a split second, her composure broke, glaring at the human with absolute disgust. Jackie met Twilight's burning gaze, surprised at seeing such loathing and contempt. But It was over quickly. Twilight averted her head and looked to the ground. Her voice shook with anger and pain.

"Let's just go. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Jacqueline frowned, eyeing the pony who went on ahead with an odd expression. For a fleeting moment, her features softened by the slightest margin, and the echo of an ache manifested in her chest, but it was brutally shoved aside. There was a job to be done and hesitation at this point would only hinder her.

Her life, Umbra's life as well, hinged on a successful raid tonight. Twilight was soft, weak. The pony had lived in a land of sunshine and rainbows for most of her life and still clung to her childish, idealistic doctrine that all life was sacred. Perhaps, by some farce, that might have even been true, but these creatures were foreign to Jackie.

Umbra tried to instill in her a sense of respect for these odd little beasts, and though she did acknowledge them to a degree, she would lie if she said she held their life in as high a regard as a human's. But this wasn't Jackie's world. It lay far away, out of reach and for the moment she would have to contend herself in a land where she did not belong nor cared for.

She had found a friend in Umbra and some much needed respite. Their brief, burgeoning friendship boded well for her state of mind and she treasured it above the meaningless lives of these curious, bizarre little ponies. And if keeping Umbra alive and well meant shoving aside what reservations she may have had and claim the lives of the ponies plotting against them at the base of Haven's Peak, she would not hesitate to do what needed to be done.

[…]

“Alright, strip.” Twilight looked on expectantly at the human, who returned the pony's gaze with her own flat one.

“Excuse me, princess?”

Twilight looked up at Jackie with a frown. “We need to take your measurements in order for Hammer ‘n Anvil to craft some armor pieces for you. Now take off your clothes.” Jackie didn't move. Twilight sighed. “I don't like it any more than you do, believe me, so we might as well get it over with. Or would you prefer going in to battle with nothing but those flimsy clothes?”

Sneering, Jackie did as Twilight bid, undressing down to her underwear. It was a battle to keep embarrassment from creeping into her features, but she'd be damned if she gave Twilight the satisfaction. The mare produced a roll of tape from her lab coat and proceeded to go about her job, the air in the small room thick with tension and hostility as neither said a word to each other. When Twilight finished, she put back the tape and left without another word. Clearly the little mare still held a measure of anger towards Jackie, not that the girl would trouble herself by it.

As she dressed and stepped out of the small room, she came face to face with Ganondorf, who’d been waiting patiently outside.

“Come with me,” he said and turned. Jackie blinked but followed quickly enough. “For this operation to achieve its maximum effect, you will hit the Equestrians and hit them hard. You must be swift and efficient. Strike when their guard is down and leave before they can organize an assault. For that, I will give you weapons suitable for this endeavor.”

“Now we're talking,” Jackie remarked. “But I'm still not clear how you expect me to… well, do any of this.”

“Tell me, how trained are you in the use of magic?”

“Magic? Not very much. You saw me do that stuff the other night but besides that…”

“Do you have a good measure of control?” She didn't answer immediately. “That's perfectly fine. As a practitioner of the arcane arts, I am knowledgeable on controlling the flow of power within my body. You are not, but this is good. In order for this mission to succeed, we will need to play to your strengths.”

“My strengths?"

"Yes. I saw what you did last night. How you manifested the magic within you to kill your opponents. A good start, but now, you must harness that very same power and use it on a far larger scale." Jackie remained silent and Ganondorf looked over, seeing doubt in her features. "Is there a problem?"

"That... what I did last night... I'm still not very good at all this stuff. It took me a week to be able to do it and even then, I can barely pull it off."

"That won’t be a problem. I will help you where that's concerned but for now, let us go." The Gerudo lord led Jackie past the perimeter of the village, to a dark opening on the side of the mountain.

"Before we came here, the ponies of this village carved a series of mining tunnels in the mountain. After my forces and I took over the village, I had sections of the mine converted to research departments."

"I have noticed this world seems a lot more technologically advanced than either mine or Umbra's," Jackie commented as she followed Ganondorf. The tunnels were a moist place, cooler than the outside and lit by lightbulbs scattered every few feet, the wiring system in plain view.

"A necessity in this world. The Crystal Empire is mainly populated by Earth Ponies. Without the magic of the unicorns or the pegasi's ability to manipulate the weather, the ponies who settled the empire had to rely on their own inventiveness to build and settle a city in the frozen north. Sombra was smart enough to see that very same inventiveness and ingenuity could be used to build war machines unlike anything the Equestrians had seen before. The Equestrians' losses were heavy during the first months of the war. To counter this, they too had to embark on a technological revolution if they wanted to stand a chance of countering the empire's armies."

"I'd say it's worked out well enough. They haven't by any chance invented handhelds, have they? Games, I mean."

Ganondorf halted, looking at Jackie with a strange expression. "No," he said slowly. "They already had those, from what I hear."

"How about AC? Do they have that?"

"Yes."

"Then your world is already ten times better than the crappy two I've been before this."

"Indeed," Ganondorf said dryly. "Let's move on." They entered a room guarded by a heavy steel door. It had no handle or discernible hinges, none that Jackie could see, at least. Ganondorf placed a hand atop a circular pad carved into the door. The flat of his palm glowed a soft blue as he channeled his own brand of magic and the door dissolved, its composition resembling that of molten slag.

"Neat," Jackie commented as she followed Ganondorf inside. The room was a stark contrast to the dirt tunnel outside. The walls and floors were cement and polished steel and where the tunnels smelled musty and earthy, a clinical sort of odor now permeated the room, along with what might have been oil of some sort. Four long, rectangular steel tables dominated the room, their legs melded to the floor beneath and atop them lay a variety of materials.

Some were weapons, not too impressive. Swords, maces, axes, spears, a couple of morning stars and meteor hammers. However, there were also curious little contraptions. Some more of the little crystals Ganondorf had demonstrated earlier, what might have been a radio at some point, and even items one might have found in an apothecary. Powders of varied colors, stones either roughly cut or finely hewn, armor pieces, both for ponies, and some clearly meant to fit Ganondorf's bulk.

"This is one of the chambers I had retrofitted into a lab. A sort of research and development."

"Developing what?"

"Weapons, of course. You might have noticed that in spite of the higher level of technology in this, or your world, firearms are curiously absent in the ponies' arsenal." He went over and picked up what looked to be a crossbow with a cylindrical container attached to the bottom, itself full of steel headed bolts. "This is the closest they've been able to achieve with firing weapons. Effective, but primitive."

"Can I...?" Jackie asked, her hands twitching.

Ganondorf handed her the contraption, watching as Jackie fiddled around with the instrument. "So how does this work, you just..." A bolt suddenly went flying as the weapon fired, ricocheting against the steel wall with a loud clang and made a beeline for Ganondorf's face. With reflexes that belied the Gerudo lord's bulk, Ganondorf's hand shot out, grasping the steel bolt inches from his face. He looked down at Jackie with a flat stare.

"Heh. Sorry," she mumbled and handed him back the weapon.

"As I was saying," he continued. "This design is primitive. Neither of the warring factions has developed a more... advanced design of ranged weaponry."

"And you have?"

"Of course. Ballistics as we know it have not yet been invented. Cannons exist, true enough, but the closest the creatures of this world have gotten to developing firearms as you know it are the minotaurs, who have managed to craft hand cannons?"

"Hand cannons?"

"It is exactly what it sounds like. Miniature cannons. They are clumsy, unwieldy designs. That is why my ponies and I have been trying to come up with new ways to expand on ranged weaponry."

"Any luck?"

"Yes." Ganondorf went over to a workbench and from it, retrieving a prototype. Its shape resembled a firearm, but like none Jackie had ever seen. At least none that she recognized from her modern era. The entirety of the firearm seemed to be composed of one single material, in this case or at least something that looked like steel. The general shape resembled a pistol insofar that it had a slightly curved grip and a quite long barrel. It reminded her of the firearms she'd seen in movies and documentaries during the time of the Revolutionary War. Some other material was set into the side of the handle, looking like leather or rubber or something like that, maybe to improve the hold the wearer would have on this strange weapon. There were a line of weird looking runes etched into the side of the barrel, covering the whole length and Jackie could have sworn she could see them faintly pulse whenever she had them in the corner of her eyes. On the back of the weapon, where a similar gun might have the hammer, sat a quite sizable gemstone that was shining with latent power from within.

"There's no trigger." Jackie said after running her eyes through the curious contraption.

"It doesn't need one. Triggers on the firearms you're familiar with are used to ignite a chemical inside the usual cartridges via a hammer creating a spark, but this method of ignition always carries the risk of the trigger getting pulled by accident, resulting in often fatal accidents. This weapon must be triggered by a miniscule but well measured spark of magic since it utilizes a permanently enchanted gemstone as ammunition.
Once the spark is induced, the spell matrices will activate and channel the spell into the rune-enforced barrel. In this case, a plasma spell which is essentially a fire spell of the highest order," Ganon explained to the wide eyed girl before him. "It is quite amusing to think that the ponies only used this spell to cut and weld metal until I repurposed it to a far better goal. Another boon of the missing trigger is, aside from the higher security for the carrier, that only beings capable of actively channeling their magic are able to use these weapons, and even if they would manage to get ahold of one of them, they still need to know just how much magic there is needed to activate the spell matrices. A weak charge would result in the weapon not firing at all, a charge too strong and the runes set in the barrel would cause the weapon to melt and warp, rendering it useless for my enemies."

"Me, I would have settled for the thing exploding in their faces," Jackie remarked, inspecting the weapon more closely. Ganondorf considered this. It wasn't a bad idea, all things considered. "So a plasma pistol, huh? A freaking, honest to goodness plasma pistol."

"I take it you approve?"

"Approve?" Jackie's eyes now positively shined, eyeing the deceptively looking weapon with greed. "It's fucking awesome! Uh, can I...?" she asked, her hands twitching once again, eager to try the pistol for herself.

"Not here," Ganondorf said firmly. "Come with me." He led her to another room at the back of the workshop, of a Spartan build, with training dummies stacked at one end and several more propped up on poles. Said dummies were rather crudely build of hay, burlap sacks and odd bits of metal, resembling ponies, griffins, dragons and manticores.

"This room will be more suitable. Here," He handed Jackie the pistol. "For now, I've deactivated the runes to protect this from unwanted users. To activate the pistol, simply channel a portion of your magic through your arm and into your hand. The amount of plasma that will fire depends on how much power you channel through. But be warned, too much at once may cause the pistol to explode in your face and douse you with lethal amounts of plasma."

"So no pressure, then," Jackie muttered. She took the weapon, feeling its weight under her hands and gripped it with both hands, aiming at a distant pony dummy. Like Ganondorf said, she channeled a modest surge of magic and the runes on the pistol glowed, a shrill whine emerged from the weapon's barrel as it glowed a bright, neon orange and sure enough, a torrent of searing plasma exploded forth like water off a pressure hose, dousing the dummy, which immediately caught fire.

"Sweet!" Jackie gushed as she gawked in wonder at the sheer destructive power of the weapon.

"Now you see. With this in hand, your task shouldn't prove too hard."

"I'll say."

"Now," Ganondorf took the weapon and a different set of runes in the back glowed softly. "The security measures are back in place. It won't explode or anything of the like, but it will not work unless you channel the correct amount of magic through."

Jackie nodded and tried to shoot another random dummy, only for the pistol to sputter weakly.

"Focus. Concentrate," Ganondorf said patiently. Jackie tried again, getting the same result. From behind her, Ganondorf sighed, a sound that if one listened closely, might have been misconstrued as annoyed.

°°°

[3rd Person POV]

"Ah, Captain Shining Armor. Welcome."

"And you as well, Valiant Charge," Shining Armor said politely as he shook off his snow covered cloak. He entered the spacious tent from where in the middle, a pleasantly warm fire burned, smoke drifting its way up the opening in the top.

"Please, sit. I'll have refreshments brought in." Shining armor made his way to the sturdy round table in the middle of the room, taking a seat on a slightly shabby chair. "I trust your journey here was not too tiring?"

"Somewhat," Shining Armor replied as a pony trotted in, bringing two plates of hearty warm stew and a slice of bread, placing them in front of the stallions. "But that doesn't matter. What can you tell me about this... rebel we're after. Have there been any new developments?"

Valiant Charge chewed slowly, weighing his words. "Not many, thank Celestia. My scouts have engaged with a few skirmishes with his forces, which left with more casualties than I'd have imagined. Whatever foul sorceries this being has employed gifted the ponies under his thrall with an unnatural amount of endurance and strength. Since discovering this troubling fact we have made our best efforts to avoid engaging in fights with his ponies. It is a shame, but even with forces numbering over two thousand at my command, our losses would be catastrophic should we try to take their outpost by force."

Shining Armor nodded. The news was as he'd heard from passing travelers. "And the leader? What can you tell me about him?"

"As far as we know he is not a pony. Nor does he belong to any of the neighboring races. A bipedal creature, male. Definitely not a Minotaur and at least as tall. He has been seen employing the use of vile magics to dominate and convert those ponies who would resist him, and from the accounts of my soldiers who survived, a very capable combatant, able to employ the use of weapons and magic simultaneously. He wields a strange weapon similar to a crossbow but more compact and able to fire off volleys of continuous exploding blasts of energy. It is a wonder my ponies even managed to survive."

Shining Armor frowned. This weapon of his sounded a lot like the hand cannons employed by the distant tribes of minotaurs. The Royal Guard held a number of the centuries old weapons inside their caches, but had never been able to replicate the fabled black powder that powered them.

"And these ponies that the being has taken under his thrall. Is there no hope of breaking his hold over them?"

"No, from our observations so far. In our initial skirmishes we have captured at least a good dozen of the cursed ponies, but our examinations have yielded no results, save for one. As far as we can determine their bodies are in perfect health, strengthened even by quite a bit. We have, however, managed to procure a clue that might explain their devotion to him." Shining Armor looked on expectantly. "In our initial raid against their settlement we captured a pony, but she died of her wounds soon after. We had our medics perform an autopsy on her body and he found something of particular interest in the brain."

Valiant charge licked his lips and took a breath. "Apparently the part of the brain that deals in pleasure had been overstimulated on this particular individual. The presiding pony's theory is that by some means, this creature is able to stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain, releasing a dose of dopamine every time he orders his thralls to commit acts in his stead, essentially making them addicted to him and his service, literally conditioning them like Pawlov´s famous dog."

"This... this is very troubling news," Shining Armor commented. "In all my years I have never heard of such a manner of mind control. Have you?"

"No, and that troubles me greatly. Whatever this being's intentions are, he has proven himself hostile against Equestria. As far as we can tell, he and Sombra are not in allegiance to each other but this threat must be stamped out before it becomes something of significance. Already the war with the Crystal Empire has stretched our forces thin and the last thing we need is this upstart making more trouble as it is."

"I have reviewed one of the maps of the area. What is the plan of attack?"

Valiant Charge produced a map, setting aside their food and laying over the table.

"The rebels have spend the last few weeks collapsing paths, goat trails and alternate routes, blockading them or destroying them entirely via landslides. The only path left to navigate an army is through the main road." He pointed it out on the map, a narrow strip of land. "The inclination is too steep for our soldiers to build any momentum. The march will be slow and laborious. We'll need shields at the front to block spells and arrows. Even with our more sizable horde, taking the mountain will be a battle."

Shining Armor nodded and carefully studied the map. Sure enough, the rebel pegasi and unicorns had been hard at work the past few weeks, inciting landslides and avalanches to make the already narrow trail up the mountain even more constricted.

"I find it curious that this rebel leader picked such a remote village as his base of operations. There are other such small settlements close to here, with warm, temperate climate and fertile soil. That he chose this isolated location, situated in a very defensible site, tells me much about his motives. I fear that this is no group of peasants and farmers led by a simple warlord, but could very well prove to be a cunning, dangerous adversary. This will be no ordinary siege."

The two stared grimly at each other, lost in their thoughts.

°°°

[Jackie´s POV]

Jackie was by no means inexperienced in the high art of sneaking around. True, she did spend more than a night in the sleepy town of Ponyville prowling through the streets, but this was not Ponyville. This was a war camp and even in the dead of night there were sentries patrolling about. With her normal human looks, she would be hopeless at blending in with the ponies but her current visage of a golden armored guard made the whole ordeal infinitely easier.

The reckless and foul mouthed human might not be a highly trained spy but she wasn't so ignorant that she would do anything to give herself away. She trotted confidently, not missing a step and nodding curtly to any guards who caught her eye. It had worked so far and as she made her way to the heart of the encampment, she could see how utterly screwed Ganondorf and his forces would be should the ponies march at their full might. Only the strategic position of Haven's Peak afforded them the time to come up with a suitable method of counterattack.

She was tasked with changing the terms of battle, bring the fight to the enemy and ram a sixty foot pole up their ass before they knew what hit them. That being said, she couldn't help but wonder what schemes Ganondorf had in mind to pull her out of the fire. Perhaps if...

"Oof!"

Jackie blinked. She'd been so lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice the pony in her way. Now obviously, she could not not notice the equine obstacle. It was a Pegasus of the male variety if Jackie where to venture a guess. He wore the same stupid looking golden armor that crumpled like tinfoil under pressure but curiously enough, he had an orange coat and a blue mane, differencing him from his brethren. Maybe he was something special?

"… said are you alright soldier? That was quite a nasty bump."

It finally dawned the disguised girl that she was being talked to. "Uh? Didn´t I kill you already?" These words left Jackie´s mouth only seconds before their meaning could be processed by her brain. Instantly, her heart began to hammer and she could feel her body release adrenaline, reading herself to pounce the strangely familiar pony and pound him into pastel colored paste.

"Hum? What was that? Sorry, did not catch that, my helmet got knocked over my ears," the oblivious Pegasus chatted, rightening his head gear so that his ears once again poked out of their holes.

With discipline like steel, Jackie forced herself to smile as amicably as she could(though it came out more crooked than anything) as she sighed internally that fate had thrown her a bone here.

"Sorry, was nothing really. You just look familiar and I guess I was just surprised, is all... ehrm, Sir?" Jackie pressed out, adding even one of this stupid little giggles at the end.

"Oh, I´m no Sir, not yet. Just a patriotic Pegasus, serving Equestria against her foes." The pony extended a hoof which Jackie eyed with barely hidden distaste. "My name is Flash Sentry, Private from the third Royal Pegasus Wing. Who are you? I thought we got our last batch of new soldiers one week ago?"

"Ehrm, I am... my name is..." Jackie pranced a little on the spot. This had not been part of the briefing! How should she answer this without blowing her cover? As much as she hated to admit it, she would have given her left arm to have Umbra here in this situation. She seemed to be quite an expert when it came to interacting with the little beasts and would probably be able to rattle of a whole cover story for both of them and...

"P-pretty Prancer..."

"Sorry, come again?"

"I said my name is Pretty P-prancer you dolt!" Jackie hissed, feeling her cheeks burn with the intensity of a magnesium flare.

"Pretty Prancer, eh? It suits you." Flash Sentry said with a bright white smile.

"What?"

"Pretty Prancer. You sure look the part." he added with a wink.

Jackie's eye twitched in a most horrendous fashion. "Move!" she said, her voice so thick it was hard to make the words out.

"What?" Flash Sentry blinked obliviously.

"I said get out of my way before I strangle you with your own intestines." The disguised girl rudely shoved him aside as she moved past him and as she put distance between her and Flash Sentry, she swore she heard the word 'monthlies' thrown, adding to her already foul mood.

Gnashing her teeth, Jackie reached what she imagined to be the center of the war camp and slipped inside a random tent, immediately dropping her disguise as she confirmed the two occupants to be sleeping. She stretched her limbs and cracked her knuckles, breath slightly rushed as she prepared to carry out Ganondorf's plan.

She unsheathed the short blade provided to her and knelt down by the sleeping ponies. She placed a hand at the mouth of a sleeping guard and plunged the steel into his neck, severing the spinal cord. The guard's eyes shot open for an instance and his body went rigid, spasming weakly and when it stilled, Jackie removed the blade and dispatched the remaining stallion.

Now for the crux of the operation.

Jackie bent down on one knee and plunged both hands underneath the black soil. She prepared and braced herself for the sheer strain her body would endure. Her breaths started deep and measured and the human called on her reserves of magic, manipulating them all to flow. From her legs, to her torso, to her arms and lastly her palms. Greenish light poured from the soil covering her hands as Jackie strained for control, directing the energies within her to those two points.

It built to such an extent that her body itself glowed softly, highlighting the veins and arteries on her visible patches of skin. She groaned in pain at the sheer amount of power pooling in her palms, far larger than anything she was accustomed to. Her body burned and blood spurted from her nose. She felt like bearing the might of an entire battleship on her shoulders.

And then, when the energies proved too much to hold back anymore, she let them loose.

A terrible explosion, louder than the crack of a thousand cannons blasted throughout the war camp, instantly bursting the eardrums of those unfortunate souls within a hundred feet of the point of origin. A flaring column of black and green energies erupted from the ground, all but vaporizing the few wakeful, off-duty soldiers who had tried to peek into the glowing tent as well as the oblivious stallions and mares who lay nearby and had woken up not a moment ago.

The pillar of foul magics dissipated almost immediately but in its place, a concentric dome of explosive force exploded with the same fury, dissipating after a second and creating more explosive domes in its wake. Legs, heads and other pieces of bloodsoaked meat were strewn around as their original owners were completely torn apart by the sheer force of the blasts, splattering against the ground, tent canvasses or astonished onlookers, themselves blasted away as more and more of the concentric domes exploded from the point of origin.

The domes flared quickly and succinctly, carving up the earth and moving faster than ponies were able to outrun them, screams of fear and agony quickly snuffed out as the ponies were too slow and were caught in the wake of the domes, claiming the unsuspecting and the panicking alike.

One after another, the concentric manifestations of green erupted forth. Soldiers who had trained to be fearless in combat wailed, shrieked and screamed. The suddenness and viciousness of the attack breaking their composure. While a few tried to help their brethren to safety, more and more shoved, pushed and trampled over one another as they tried in vain to escape the explosive domes of energy. In seconds they and dozens of others were ripped apart by the unforgiving blasts of force.

The troops' only saving grace proved to be the diminishing force of the domes. As more and more of them spiked out of the ground away from the original source, the domes lost power, but certainly not so much as to be rendered harmless. By the fifteenth wave the explosive component was greatly diminished, but the probability of a lethal blow was all too real to those caught in the middle. By the twenty first, the domes' power degenerated so that they merely crushed and pulverized bone, though a hit to the head was a guarantee of death. Increasing cries and screams of agony now dispersed throughout the ruined camp as the crippled ponies became aware of their injuries. Even so, by the time the last wave petered out, the explosions had claimed a staggering amount of terrain and lives.

If the Equestrians thought they might have been ready and confident to storm the village of Haven's Peak, they sure weren't now. While the casualties were great indeed, the damage to morale and resources would postpone the assault, to say nothing of the injured who would be taken out of commission.

Not that Jackie was aware of any of this. The massive surge of magic had ravaged her body. Her very bones felt as if they were on fire and it was all she could do to keep from crying out. She took note of her trembling hands, noticing the skin had split open in places and bled profusely.

"Fuck!" she croaked out, her voice barely audible even to her.

When Ganondorf had laid out his plan, Jackie was meant to follow the initial attack with a rampage to the command tent and either kill or capture(though Ganondorf preferred capture) the enemy leaders. But it became clear soon enough that her body was in no state to handle so much exertion.

At the moment, it was all she could do to fight her protesting limbs and stand, taking in the sight of upturned earth, tattered tents and body parts that surrounded her. Even that seemed like a triviality in contrast to that raging pounding on her head.

"Be... fucking... quiet!" She flared out her arm, creating a massive telekinetic shockwave that tossed aside a number of unfortunate ponies like rag dolls.

Several ponies who had come to survey the damage ran away in fear, though a few brave souls held on to their weapons, slowly spreading out in a semicircle around the pained human. A pony, an earth mare stepped forward, a warhammer clamped on her mouth, approaching the kneeling girl.

If Jackie was concerned, she didn't show it. Ganondorf had provided for her an enchanted set of armor that he personally reinforced with powerful runes capable of diverting most missile attacks and severely reducing the blows of physical weapons. Not that the pony would have the opportunity to see this for herself, as Jackie reached for her thigh and unstrapped Ganondorf's specially commissioned gun. A row of glowing runes lit up on the enchanted steel barrel, a light growing in the muzzle rapidly to blinding levels and with a high pitched whine, doused the brave mare in a searing spray of sun-hot plasma.

The pony fell screaming as the substance ate away at her armor, evaporating her skin and bones. Jackie smiled.

"Huh. I might actually enjoy this."

°°°

[Umbra´s POV]

"A Plasma Pistol? You gave her a fucking Plasma Pistol? Are you out of your frikken mind you numbnutt?!? How the everloving, unholy fuck did you even get one of those?!?" I screamed incredulously as I stared at the image in the Spy Shard, as I called the little crystals Ganondorf used to survey the battlefield and Jaqueline's little Spec Ops mission.

Several ponies nervously backed away as I screamed my head off at their lord and master. The Gerudo for his part remained as impassive as he had been since the moment they had met.

"It is a device I had my best scientists develop, together with a bigger version for me. It is a weapon of great potency, able to create massive devastation and also harbors an undeniable shock effect." he calmly explained, absolutely nonplussed at my outburst. "So it made only sense that I equipped Jacqueline with the smaller one on her mission, to maximize her efficiency and ensure the success of this operation."

"Stop sounding so absolute aloof about this!" I growled, showcasing my razor sharp teeth in an subconscious act of intimidation and aggressiveness. "That thing could have blown up and cooked her for all we know!"

"I have every confidence in you friend. You'd do well to do the same. Contingency plans are in place should she need help. Now it's a matter of allowing her to carry out her mission to the best of her ability." He watched in satisfaction as scores of ponies fell under Jackie's relentless assault, relishing the looks on their astonished faces as spells and arrows were diverted away from her. "And from the looks of it, she seems to be enjoying herself."

"As much as I hate to admit, that armor you had made for her is doing one hell of a job. Does not mean I like that you are fostering her sociopathic nature one single bit." I jabbed.

"Do you think so low of her?" He asked, almost amused.

"Shut up, asshole! She is a mentally not very stable young girl who just got encouraged to work out her repressed and hormonal stress and anger through wholesome slaughter. You know perfectly well what I mean. Do you think this helps a teenager's still developing mental state? At all?" I slammed a hand against my armored chest. "I have been through this shit, even before having my life `jacked by some eldritch arse. I had the chance to ease myself into the bloody, unforgiving nastyness that is existence and all the consequences it brings! You," I jabbed my finger at Ganondorf. "By extent probably have been too, given the way you act all the time. That or you are an even greater psycho than I initially thought. Jackie, she still is developing her sense of self and needs all the guidance and support she can get."

"Aside from a strange predisposition for peppermint puffs, I assure you, I was a very normal human," Ganondorf said smoothly, my impotent rage slightly amusing him.

"Ha ha, ha ha ha," a dry, humorless laugh escaped my cracked lips "Guess than you are not a lost cause after all, eh? I mean, no one who likes peppermint can be that bad, aye?"

Ganondorf watched silently for a moment as Jackie liberated a spear from a stallion who dared to sneak close and skewered the hapless pony. "Tell me, did your friend have an easy or even remotely happy time during her stay in Equestria? Her own version, I mean?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"If her ponies and yours are anything like the ones here, you must already know that with her strange powers and abilities, she won't ever be one of them. Ponies are much like us in that way. They fear that which is different, which they cannot understand. I sense a raw, unrefined potential in her. It is a shame you have not nurtured her abilities yourself. You would hold her back and attempt to integrate her in a world she does not belong. She knows this. She's told me. And since you have not helped her in that regard she turned to me for guidance."

"Don't you dare to go all Emperor Palpatine on my little girl!" I hissed venomously, feeling my hair slightly standing on end. "I might not be perfect, hell, I am probably damn lousy in many aspects and this might sound hypocritical since I enslave and kill stuff on a near daily basis, but there is a fine line between being a respectable Villain and a psychopathic Beast and you, Freundchen [buddy], are shoving Jackie full force and well knowing into the later corner. And that," Umbra glared up at Ganondorf, the fringes of her yellow eyes flickering red.. "Is the one thing that scores someone a one-way ticket down into the pits of scarlet fire and eternal chains of ice! Also, on top of my shit list!" I punctuated my words with poking my finger against the taller man's chest.

"This discussion is pointless. Pay attention. I fear your friend will be needing help soon enough." Ganondorf stated, his eyes never leaving the screen.

I swallowed any number of rude and unpleasant retorts, but relented and returned my attention to the floating screen. The images displayed disturbed me to say the least. Jackie had completely lost herself to the haze of combat, a feeling I knew all too well. She capitalized on her enchanted armor, brute strength and Ganondorf's strange pistol, whooping, cursing and laughing as ponies fell, one after another. The mere sight sickened me, a dreading sensation on her stomach not at all directed to the small girl's victims, but to the mirrored image she projected.

Twilight suddenly rushed in front of them, peering at the screen and before Ganondorf could inquire as to her behavior, a sharp gasp escaped her lips. "Shining Armor?" she whispered harshly.

My gaze snapped up at the screen. Indeed, Shining Armor prowled at the edges of the ruined earth, keeping out of Jackie's line of sight. He eyed his quarry with cool detachment, analyzing and evaluating the unsuspecting human, a pair of blades held in a telltale magical aura hovering beside him.

"Fuck me sideways, Prince Fearbubble is here? Did you know that?" I asked venomously, not taking my eyes from the magical screen for a second. "Jackie you moron, there, behind you! Get your ass out there this freaking instant!" I yelled at the image of my oblivious friend plowing her merry way through the encampment, none the wiser that she was sized up like a literal piece of meat.

But Jackie remained oblivious to the incoming threat, her attention solely focused on the battle before her. With more dexterity and grace a robust stallion like he should be capable of, Shining Armor entered the fray, still unnoticed and his blades raised beside him, preparing to strike. When he got within distance, he aimed the swords at the nape of Jackie's neck and struck, only to find his blades impact against a flaring blue shield that formed around her body. The protective sphere held but for a second as a surprised Jackie turned to face her attacker before the sheer might behind the blades overloaded the arcane matrices of the protective enchantment, resulting in a minor blast of sheer force.

Shining Armor recovered quickly with his swords almost instantly returning to his side and assumed a defensive stance, only to find Jackie eyeing him with a sense of wariness.

"Crafty bastard. You nearly got me there."

Shining Armor held his blades at the ready. "Might I have your name, strange little creature?" he asked politely.

Jackie adopted a mocking smile. "Sure, why not. I'll just…" she leveled the gun and blasted a spray of plasma, which Shining Armor barely dodged. "Carve my name on your flaccid dick!"

A shimmering shield flashed into life, massive ripples rolling over the magical sphere that protected Shining Armor from the surprise attack. The stallions expression fell and his nostrils flared in a snort. "If this is how you want it, I will gladly comply." Then, in one fluid movement, the shield dissipated and the Captain of the Guard exploded in a flurry of movement.

Shining Armor proved to be more than a match for the rampaging human. His constant strikes kept her on her toes and though her notion of swordplay seemed to be 'swinging a sword as fast as she can', that weapon of hers proved to be more than a sufficient deterrent. The strain to his shield spells was severe even from the initial volley and he would rather keep from figuring out if the protective enchantments on his own armor would hold.

In a search for an opening, the Captain of the Royal Guard reached inside a pocket and threw what looked to be a glass orb filled with pulsing blue magic. The sphere exploded close to Jackie, bombarding her with searing bolts of lightning. Ganondorf's remaining enchantments mitigated much of the damage, but her skin was left with burning red streaks where the bolts bypassed her protections.

"Mother...!" The furious girl raised a foot covered in potent green magic and slammed it down, causing a wave of concussive force and upturned earth to sail against Shining Armor, who didn't manage to dodge in time. The Captain was sent hurtling away, barely keeping a magical hold on his swords. The impact bruised some ribs and with a barely restrained wince, he got back up to his hooves.

But Jackie had not been idle during this time. She charge forward and unleashed a volley of those debilitating plasma shots. Shining Armor couldn't keep up and eventually, the plasma collided against his shield, itself overloaded and fizzled out, allowing small droplets of searing plasma to spray against his armor and exposed fur. The Captain groaned as bits of his skin melted away, but the damage was superficial at best. He was still in fighting shape.

My fingers resembled claws at this point, digging into the strategy room's table as I stared with held breath at the magical projection.

Thinking quickly, Shining Armor's horn let loose with a blinding flash of light, of such high intensity that could be seen even at the top of Haven's Peak. Jackie yelled as her retinas burned, dropping her weapons as her hands instinctively clawed at her eyes.

Shining Armor didn't hesitate. He barreled into Jackie, slamming his head on her unprotected torso. As the girl bent down from the force of the blow, Shining Armor lifted his swords high and plunged them down her exposed backside. The enchantments on her armor finally broke, but not without granting Jackie one last, much needed protection. Though the blades pierced through it, only about six inches managed to pierce her shoulder blades. Which still hurt a lot as I knew from personal experience.

"AAARGHH! YOU FUCKER!" With a sudden upwelling of strength and vitality, Jackie pushed herself upwards, facing the astonished captain. Her fist glowed with green energy and before Shining Armor could react, she slammed it into his breastplate, the sheer power behind the blow making the metal bend inward as the protections granted by Princess Celestia herself faded into nothingness after one bright final flash.

Then the swirling magic ignited, sending Shining Armor flying through the air. He landed hard against a tree, bones shattered with a sickening crunch and he crumpled into a heap.

My armored fingers bore deep gouges on the table as I watched the scene unfold, far too stunned to react appropriately. My eyes latched on to Jackie, now spent, lying in the ground with scores of advancing ponies as she feebly tried to reach behind her back to remove the blades still lodged in her flesh.

"That´s it! This mission is done!" I yelled, my eyes burning brightly as I went over countless ways I possibly could do to aid my badly wounded friend as the remainders of the Equestrian Army closed in to her.

"Work dammit, work!" I growled, fixating a spot not far away from Jackie through the Spy Shard. To me, it was pulsing, like a heartbeat.

"What do you think you are doing?" Ganondorf's voice was just barely colored with irritation.

"You shut your fucking mouth!" I roared in response, only to immediately return my attention to the screen again. There! A Minion Portal burst open and after an agonizing few seconds, my loyal kobolds spilled forth in a geyser of black armor, razor-sharp weapons and murderous intent.

A massive spike of pain wracked my body with a vengeance and forced me to lean on the table for support. Then I caught herself and directed my mind back to the task at hand. Sending my mental commands through the ether, I watched with a bloody, satisfied grin as the surge of Brown Minions took the Equestrians by absolute surprise.

Blades found the spaces between armor plating, heavy halberds where brought down on helmets and maces smashed into kneecaps as the kobolds battered themselves a way through the enemy soldiers, with a single goal screaming in their minds.

To protect their master's friend and return her to her immediately.

The Minions dispatched the last soldier standing between them and Jackie, swarming around the wounded girl like one single organism, effectively shielding her with their own bodies.

The wounded girl herself only looked in befuddlement as small, clawed hands lifted her up with an uncanny amount of care.

"Gotcha! Now," I wheezed, straining to keep the control over my forces over the massive distance between Haven´s Peak and the camp "Bring `er home!"

The Minions carrying their charge steadily moved towards the point where they had left the Ley Line and where the Minion Portal had vanished not a second before, being replaced by a one way teleport stone.

The unsteady wobbling girl was deposited on the rune etched surface and not sooner had the Minions stepped back to form a defensive bulwark, was Jaqueline's body swallowed in bright blue light. The same light filled the strategy room not a second later, followed by a pained groan as Jackie was unceremoniously dumped right in the middle, the portal stone crumbling to dust under her.

I strode forward, shoving aside the Minions that had gathered around their charge.

"Jackie? Jackie! Talk to me girl," I urged as she held my friend. Her body was a ruin. Those lightning bolts had done more damage than initially thought and the angry red streaks left in their wake oozed sporadically with blood. The blades embedded in Jackie's shoulders had splintered the armor, driving bits of shrapnel inside her and the toll of her initial attack now bore down on her, with the adrenaline surge having run its course. Jackie's breaths came in shallow pants, her chest barely moving but even so, with enormous difficulty, she rose her head to meet my eyes.

In spite of the horrendous pain she no doubt felt, her lips twitched and turned upward, revealing a set of blooded teeth. "H-hey, Umbra." she was just barely able to make out.

I couldn't help but bark out a harsh laugh, my eyes stinging with welling tears. "Hey, girl. Still with me?"

Jackie coughed, splattering me with droplets of dark blood. "Did ya see?" She asked, her voice so weak it was almost inaudible. "I fucked 'em good." Her body went limp as unconsciousness took over.

My eyes found Ganondorf's, my yellow orbs brimming with fire and hate. "Get me a fucking medic! She better make it or so help me, I will tear your body apart in so many shreds there won't be enough left to fill a baby shoebox!"

Medical personnel were summoned, who quickly hefted Jackie on a hastily built gurney, hurriedly trotting to the infirmary section of the camp, with me hot on their heels.

Author's Note

Jackie´s time to shine like a Khornate Berseker.:pinkiecrazy:

Another evil has entered the stage, the wielder of the Triforce of Power, Ganondorf himself and boy, isn´t he a manipulative asshole?

Ganon is a Displaced created by ArreClonClipo, who will rear his ugly face in the near future again and let me tell you, it won´t be pretty.

22. The Battle for Haven´s Peak

- 22. The Battle for Haven’s Peak -

[3rd Person POV]

"What is the extent of her injuries?"

Twilight levitated a slightly bloodstained clipboard in front of her. "Magical exhaustion, for one. A human's body is obviously not meant to channel nor conduct magic, much less in as massive a scale as she did. The sheer strain damaged her muscles and ligaments, but with proper medicine and treatment she should be able to move her limbs without much discomfort in a few hours." She turned a page. "Lacerations to the palms, an effect of so much raw magic channeled through them. Numerous blood clots were in the process of forming in her brain, but we managed to take care of it before they did any damage. Burns consistent with electricity throughout her face, forearms and legs. Aside from the stabbing wounds on her back and the bits of shrapnel embedded in her shoulder blades, there is no more."

"Will she recover?" Ganondorf asked after a moment, his face betraying no emotion.

"She will. Advances in medicine allow us to take care of such injuries without too much effort. It's a good thing you had their supplies stolen during the raid."

"I will go see her." He turned to leave, but Twilight stopped him.

"I don’t think that would be a good idea, Ganon." He quirked an eyebrow and Twilight continued. "Umbra hasn't left her side once and she's very mad at you. I don’t think it would be a good idea to be there. Not now at least. Not while the wounds are still fresh."

Ganondorf sighed. "Very well. Continue with the treatment. Keep me updated to any changes in her condition."

Twilight nodded and slipped out.

She made her way out of the longhouse that Ganondorf had commandeered as a sort of command center and into the thick of Haven's Peak. Even from there she could tell the mood in the remote settlement had lifted somewhat. Ponies busied themselves, attending to their everyday chores.

A pleasant aroma wafted from the local bakery, where the resident baker churned out oodles of delicious pastries to feed the hardworking ponies. Golden brown loaves, fresh and hot from the oven were lathered with honey, put on display to tantalize the populace. A few colts and fillies played rambunctiously on a sizable water puddle in the middle of the street, shrieking and laughing and making a mess of themselves to the disapproving looks of ponies nearby. Housewives were busy at work tending their little gardens. Some grew potatoes, carrots, peppers, grapes, melons and many more. Construction ponies were hard at work putting the finishing touches on a bell tower, commissioned by Ganondorf for sentries to be on the lookout for enemy activity and the blacksmith's shop had been running through the night, the clanging of metal on metal ever present since the Gerudo leader had been made aware of the impending Equestrian assault.

Though Ganondorf had conscripted the ponies to become his minions, forcing them to gladly obey his will, that did not mean they were mindless thralls. They knew all too well what an Equestrian invasion would entail and the successful raid last night made its job of lifting their spirits. Maybe they would come out of the whole ordeal alive.

She bypassed the infirmary section of the village, little more than a clearing filled with tents, themselves housing the wounded and still alive ponies of Ourtown and slipped into the cabin at the end, where a single patient resided.

The human girl laid on the bed, IVs with fluids of different colors sticking from her arm and serenely sleeping. Hovering over her was the remaining human or, demoness as she proclaimed herself to be. Truth be told, Twilight couldn't tell what the difference was aside from a stark set of skin tone and glowing eyes.

Umbra seemed to be in a state between sleep and wakefulness, sitting down on a plushy sofa. She hadn't left the smaller girl's side throughout the whole night and even now refused to rest properly. Twilight didn't quite know what to make of her. She had decided she did not like Jacqueline very much. For such a young specimen, she seemed to harbor a particular disregard for ponies and a special animosity for Twilight herself.

Umbra though, had seemed nice enough, strangely enough. Twilight thought she was as far from a demon as one could be. Sure, she engaged the thralled ponies in combat, but had strived to injure rather than kill (as much as one could with a burning sword) and though the demoness had displayed no small amount of hostility towards Ganondorf, her interactions with the ponies were polite enough, occasionally dispersed with threats to bite somepony’s head clean off when they would not stop bothering her about her own wounds.

Twilight moved to check on the sleeping girl, her hoofsteps alerting Umbra to her presence.

°°°

[Umbra´s POV]

"Sparklebutt?" I muttered, rubbing my eyes and peering at Twilight.

"Twilight,” she corrected.

"I know, but it gets under your skin so I´ll use it. Or do you prefer Purple Smart? I´d come up with some more names for you but I can´t really brain well at the moment." I eyed Twilight with a bit of suspicion. "You are not here to stick more needles in either of us or some of these magical probe things, ja? The other medics did more than their share of that."

Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes. My penchant for nicknames aside she seemed fine with me. "I'm here to check in on her," she said, not able to keep a slight hint of disdain from entering her voice. "No needles or invasive procedures for now."

Twilight moved beside Jackie and gazed intently at the sleeping girl. Her horn glowed softly, bathing the girl's head in a haze of purple mist, then to her chest, torso and legs. Twilight nodded to herself and made a note on her clipboard.

"Since when are you a medic?" I asked as I watched Twilight work. "Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate what you're doing for her, even if Jackie isn't... well, always the friendliest shark in the pool, but I always pictured you in a library setting."

Twilight worked silently for a moment, making no indication she had heard me speak, a contemplative look in her muzzle. "When the war broke out and Sombra's armies pushed back our forces, Celestia passed a law, drafting ponies all over Equestria to aid in the war effort. I had a position in the Canterlot library with a very nice mare named Moondancer, but my name was called and so they gave me a choice. Infantry, engineer or medic. I can operate machines easy enough, but have no idea what makes them tick and I couldn't imagine myself fighting, killing ponies,” she trailed off, her thoughts drifting back.

"A war can be fought from any position and sometimes, there are soldiers who never fire a single shot during a whole conflict. A nurse is as important as a pioneer and a devoted logistics officer can make a bigger difference than a brilliant general."

Twilight smiled appreciatively. "Thanks. That's what they told all of us in the division. Me and about ten other enlistees served under this mare, Nurse Redheart I believe, who volunteered from Ponyville. We were right there in the front lines, tending to the wounded. When our forces weren't being pushed back, at least," she said resentfully. "Almost none of us had experience in the medical field, but by Celestia did we get some hooves on training," she chuckled. "I must have thrown up half a dozen times when we amputated limbs, and some of the other recruits as well. But as time passed and we became hardened to such things, I was able to treat and dress a field wound in less than thirty seconds,” she said with a hint of pride.

The moment was broken as the door of the small cabin was enthusiastically kicked open and a Brown Minion waltzed in, carrying a tray with a small, slightly cracked pot and a few dirty cups on it. The kobold grinned broadly as he placed the tray on his mistress lap.

"For the master!" The Minion proclaimed cheerfully.

I took the time to pat the weird creature on its head with a tired but nonetheless honest smile. "Thank you, Gnasher. You can go and play now if you want. But no stabbing any of the horsies until I say so, yes?" I reminded the kobold who promptly scampered away. My Minions had caused her quite a bit of grief earlier in the morning when a group of them just so happened to discover the ponies kept a rather sizable herd of sheep in the pastures of Haven's Peak. That... had not been pretty to say at least. It had been a while since the Minions had laid eyes on a proper sheepie, and since Minions really, really loved their sheepies...

I shook my head, hoping the ponies could forgive them for the few little sheep that had not survived the Minions' enthusiastic playtime.

"My little kobolds can be such dears when they are not busy murderizing my enemies, wouldn´t you agree?" I said, pouring myself a cup of the blackest coffee this side of Zebrica. With an audible, pleased sigh, I downed the steaming contents in a few moments, the hot liquid filling me with heat and a wave of wakefulness. "Care for a cup of coffee too? It is honestly not that tasty but it has a good kick to it,” I offered to the Unicorn.

Twilight eyed the steaming mug for a second, thinking it over before she said, "Sure," and grabbed it in a telekinetic grip, downing the scalding hot contents in one mighty gulp. "Thanks," she said, handing the cup back to a bemused me. "Your friend should be waking shortly. I'll give you two sometime alone."

She organized the papers in her clipboard, made a few more notes and departed the small room, closing the door behind her.

I watched Jackie intently. Sure enough, it wasn't too long before the movements of her chest became more pronounced. An eyelid opened, barely and blearily. The second one followed and roamed the room until they landed on me.

To my unending surprise, Jackie's mouth twitched and stretched into a wide smile. "Hey~" she croaked, her voice still a bit rough.

I returned the gesture. "Hey girl. How are you feeling?"

Jackie, yet again surprising me, stuck out her lower lip in a contemplative pout, as if considering the answer.

"Trippy." was the response and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

"No surprise. You are kinda stuffed to the brim with drugs and painkillers, Jackie girl."

Jackie hummed. "Is it morphine?"

"I guess. Maybe a pony version of it?"

"It feels awesome," she said, slurring her words. "Almost makes it worth it." she said, giving a very uncharacteristic giggle.

"Don't get used to it, brat," I said with a smile, amused by the small girl's quirky, drug induced deposition. "I know I asked already but are you fine? Need water or something? I'm not sure if you're allowed to have fluids but I could ask."

Jackie slowly ran her tongue over her lips, assessing. "No, I'm good." Her hands moved to draw the woolen blanked all the way to her chin. "It's cold, though."

"Okay. Stay here, I'll see if I can get you another blankie." I said and moved to stand up. Last thing I needed was Jackie catching a cold in combination with all the bangs and bruises she already had.

"No, that'll take too long," Jackie slurred. "Come in." It seemed the surprises would keep coming on, for to my astonishment, Jackie scooted to the edge of her bed and opened the blanket, making room for me.

"Uhh... wut?" I stuttered, way too dumbstruck by the very un-Jackie like gesture.

Jackie frowned. "Come in already. You're letting all the warmth out. Move your butt and get in here." Demonstratively, she lifted her blanket a bit more.

"Wow," I chuckled "You must be tripping major balls girl, because it just sounded like YOU invited ME to slip under your blanket."

At that, Jackie let out a burst of snorts "Hehe, you said balls..."

"Yepp, trippier than the whole Sixties."

"Are you commin´ or do I need to write you an invitation?" An adorable pout formed on the younger girls lips. Hnnng, my black heart!

"Jeeze, don´t you go and give me such temptations Jackie," I chuckled as I removed my boots and other armor pieces "But who am I to look a gifted horse in the mouth hn? If it's cuddles you want, it's cuddles you get." Left in my tunic and pants, I carefully slipped into the creaking bed and covered both of us with the blanket again. "Hmm, cozy."

"Body warmth, not cuddles." Jackie muttered as she groggily pressed herself to me, laying her head atop my shoulder. Okay, at least that was a sentence from the Jackie I came to know.

"You know, I'm halfway tempted to ask Sparklebutt what she dosed you with and take some of it back home." I couldn't help but joke.

"That'd be nice," Jackie murmured as she made herself comfortable, pressing as much of herself as she could against my warmth. I myself was content to enjoy the silence, only the sounds of our breathing and the soft beeps of the machines to keep company.

"Hey, Umbra?" Jackie said after a long stretch of comfortable silence.

"Hm?"

"Do we have to go back?"

"Back where?"

"To... you know. Your tower and all."

"Well, yes. That's how it works."

Jackie hummed, thinking, or as much as one could think in a drug induced haze. "What if we don't go back?" She said quietly. "What if you and me just stay here, in this ponyland?"

"What? What do you mean, girl?" I chuckled. "Why do you want to stay here? It's not a very nice place."

"What'choo mean?"

"Well, where to begin," I said as I idly played with Jackie's mop of hair, caressing the black strands. "That massive gaping anus Ganondorf is here, for one. Never thought I would see the day that I met a Displaced I want to deck in the face so bad or outright shiv him. The whole of this Equestria is embroiled on a devastating war with Sombra, ponies are dying left and right every day, the country is in a state of fear and well on the way to becoming a ravaged, war torn wasteland."

Jackie erupted in a string of giggles burying her face on Umbra's neck, enjoying her ministrations. "I know, isn't it great? Awesome? I always thought the ponies could use a good war, break 'em out of that... uh, pedestal? No... knock 'em off that... horse. Yes, knock 'em off that high horse," she chuckled at the play on words.

"You... like it here, Jackie girl?" I asked, more than a bit taken aback.

"Duh. Don't you?"

"No, I can't say that I do," I said slowly. "And you shouldn’t either. It's the drugs making you say that, isn't it? No one in their right mind could actually like being in this hellhole. Yes, that must be it." I said to herself.

Jackie's hand loosened from her firm position across my torso, taking ahold of my hand.

"You know what?" Jackie asked rhetorically as she started playing with the dark digits. "I dunno why, but when I went in, and I blasted them ponies apart, showed them who's boss," she said, an uncharacteristically thoughtful, sober expression on her face. "I've never felt so alive," she said in a hushed, conspirational whisper. "Ponies... they break so easily. Almost like... pretzel sticks. Yes, that's it!" she giggled and fiddled with Umbra's index finger, bending and flexing it. "So fragile..." And like that, she nuzzled my hand to her cheek, leaving me utterly baffled.

"Shut up Jackie, you´re high!" I tittered, ever so slightly creeped out. Then quickly but firmly, I pressed Jackie´s face against her chest. Much to my surprise, the shorter girl stopped her bizarre musings and instead opted to nuzzle her face against my fun pillows, electing a surprised yelp from me. Had not seen that one coming!

"Hmm, so soft," Jackie murmured sleepily "Smellz gud too..."

"Okay now girl, how about you take a little nappy now hn? You sound like you could need one."

"Nu-uh. Dun wanna." Jackie chirped, muffling a yawn.

A good natured chuckle escaped my lips. Girl could be so adorable when she wanted too. Sadly, she had to be drugged out of her mind for it. "Hmm, would my little girl like me to sing her a song so that she can have a nice dreamy?"

"Yay~"

"Alright then. I think I have one." With that, I began singing Rolling Girl in a soft, slightly off-key voice, again caressing Jackie´s head.

"That´s a nice song..." Jackie mumbled contently, further pressing herself against my warm body, obviously drinking in the contact. At the songs mid, she was already snoring softly in my arms.

°°°

[3rd Person POV]

Dawn broke across Haven's Peak, but even in the wee hours of the morning the ponies were already hard at work. The successful attack the previous night, executed by the curious little human Ganondorf seemed to have pulled out of nowhere had reinvigorated the villagers' spirits, if only by a little. Ever since news of the Equestrians' impending assault had reached them a few weeks back, Ganondorf had ordered as many hooves as possible to work at hindering any potential assault.

Various off roads, game trails and passages known only to the Havenites had been completely sealed, leaving only the main road up the mountain as the sole entry point for an invading force. While the Equestrians held the advantage of numbers in spite of their catastrophic defeat the night prior, Ganondorf and the Havenites worked to establish as much control of the battlefield as possible.

They knew exactly where the enemy would march (seeing as there was only one way) and capitalized on the fact they held the higher ground. Lumberponies and several volunteers had worked day and night, felling trees and assembling them into a hastily built wall that lined the front of the village, as well as spiked barricades that guarded the front and a number of craftsponies and carpenters had been sequestered by Ganondorf to work on a secret project in the mines, the entrance guarded fiercely against unauthorized personnel.

Crude catapults had been constructed to hurl loose stones and rocks, the ammunition gathered and provided by numerous colts and fillies who prowled the village, eyes searching, saddlebags and wagons strapped to their backs. Cauldrons of boiling water and hot oil were readied to be dumped from atop the walls. Blacksmiths busied themselves crafting caltrops and the resident alchemist worked overtime, aided by a select number of ponies, to build bombs and other anti-personnel devices.

Twilight Sparkle, the unexperienced might say, was everywhere at once as the little mare prodigiously teleported to and fro, organizing the Havenites' effort to the best of her ability. Ganondorf was pleased at how efficient the little pony proved to be at the task, directing the villagers and showing them the most efficient methods to go about their assigned tasks. His fighters sparred lightly against one another, keeping their wits sharp and teams of pegasi prowled the skies, on the lookout for any suspicious activity.

"I can't believe this!" a voice growled beside Ganondorf, who had been supervising the activity on the village via a vantage point, the entrance to the mines built on a ridge overlooking Haven's Peak. He turned his head to see a very displeased Umbra walk up beside him, arms crossed and scowling as she looked down at the hardworking ponies. "We came in, helped you out and instead of going back to my 'Verse, we're still here."

"Perhaps it is because I am still in need of help," Ganondorf commented. Umbra seethed beside him. "I know you don't care much for me, Umbra..."

"Really, Ganonprick? What gave you that idea?" Umbra bit snidely.

"But loathe me as you may, you wouldn't walk away, even if given the chance," he said confidently.

"Is that so?" Umbra asked with a challenging tone. "That what you think, huh?"

"It's what I know," Ganondorf replied. "Though I am sure you wouldn't hesitate to leave me to the Equestrians' mercy, you are not capable of subjecting the hundreds of innocent ponies here to the same fate. You fashion yourself to be a force of evil, yet your good heart makes you pathetically predictable."

"Right now, I have come up with about five different ways to shiv you and make sure you bleed out like a stuck pig before any form of first aid could be applied,” Umbra replied, inspecting her nails.

"Cute." Ganondorf turned to face Umbra fully. "Then let us spin this scenario further, just as a mental exercise, shall we? Let´s say you actually have the temerity to commit a cold blooded assassination and succeed, then what? This would not deter the Equestrians from storming Haven´s Peak, even if you were to present my head to them on a silver platter. They would merely see you as another evil creature that usurped its place by means of bloodshed and murder, that needed to be removed from the world by force. No, this war has already passed the point of no return long ago. But to continue our little thought experiment, let us say you would manage to rally the Ponies of Haven´s Peak behind you, there would still be the threat of you simply disappearing, from what I gleaned from my talks with Jacqueline and your own words. Imagine you were to disappear right in the midst of battle, robbing all these Ponies of the last semblance of a leader and completely leaving them at the Equestrians’ mercy. Which, I can assure you, is surprisingly non existent at this point despite them sharing the same species."

Umbra´s sole reply was a scalding glare. "You think you're so smart, don't you?"

"I should hope so. Otherwise I wouldn't have survived this long."

"And you know if it wasn't for my girl still being out of commission and these ponies needing a leader, I would have turned you into my own serving thrall."

Ganondorf smiled. "Ah, yes. Your friend told me about that. A most crude method that is as likely to kill someone as making them your slaves. Sloppy, unreliable and limited in use. Much like its caster."

"Ganondorf?"

"Hm?"

"Go find a nice big hole and die in it!"

°°°

The screams of the dying and wounded resonated through the war camp all through the night. Flash Sentry tried to ignore the death and destruction around him as he cantered to the command tent, the dull scraping of bone saws filling the air, the now familiar screams of pain following in their wake. Even now at dawn, ponies were still hard at work getting the wounded loaded in carts, all piled unceremoniously atop one another, to say nothing of the dozens of unfortunate victims that had been literally torn apart, all heading for a massive funeral pyre that had been alight for hours.

Flash Sentry reached the command tent and slipped inside. Already the Captain of the guard was already seated, surrounded by six of the highest-ranked ponies. Half had died in the attack the previous night and their successors by military rank had now assumed command. Flash Sentry's squad leader for the entire pegasi wing had perished as well and so now he took his place at the small war council.

"My fellow soldiers," a weary Commander Valiant Charge began. "Thank you all for attending this meeting on such short notice. Let us begin." Valiant Charge looked to the dozens of documents in front of him and selected one, holding it up for everypony to see.

"I hold in my hooves the casualty figures from last night's attack. A figure that is not yet complete, but growing as we speak, the task further slowed down by the fact ponies are simply in too many pieces to determine the exact body count." He grimaced at that, having witnessed firsthoof his brave soldiers and comrades being ripped apart by the flaring domes of light. Shining Armor scowled beside him. The Captain had soldiered through his wounds and now sat, heavily bandaged and on painkillers. Modern medicine allowed him to recover far faster, but it was clear to everypony present the toll on his body.

"How many casualties so far, Commander?" Shining Armor asked hoarsely.

"Our best estimates are roughly two hundred, and that is only from the initial assault, not counting for the wounded. It has been difficult to differentiate those who died in the initial phase of the attack and those who succumbed to their wounds, to say nothing of the fact far too many of our fellow soldiers were simply in too many pieces to gauge a correct figure." He sighed heavily and continued.

"From our estimates, over one hundred and eighty six ponies perished from the exploding domes of force that erupted from the ground. A further three hundred and nine have died from the grievous wounds sustained by the blasts, though the numbers are still trickling in, and forty six more were claimed by the foul creature that engaged our soldiers afterward. A further two hundred and fifty are out of commission for the remainder of the campaign. All in all, the death toll stands at over three hundred and ninety five, with more casualties coming in by the hour. Coupled with our wounded who are in no shape to fight, over a third of our army has been taken out of commission."

"One third!" A general shouted, slamming a hoof down on the table. "One third of our army! All by a single creature born from the union of a Minotaur and a Diamond Dog!"

"And let us not forget that during the confusion, spies infiltrated our camp, poisoned our food supplies, stole what they could and destroyed our siege weapons." another pony commented, to the surprise of some. Valiant Charge gestured to the pony, who continued. "It seems the attack last night served another purpose entirely. In the pandemonium, while our forces were engaging the witch last night, small bands of rebel saboteurs took this opportunity to sneak into our camp. Sentries standing watch over the eastern side of the mountain were found dead this morning, their throats slit. We can assume the rebels came through here and during the fight last night, infiltrated our camp. They poisoned our food supplies, stole armor, weapons, rations, medicine and put our siege engines to the torch. What's more, our engineer division was killed in their sleep, making our capability to reconstruct siege engines... limited."

Valiant Charge digested these news, as did a fair few more ponies. "We need a way to breach those walls. While our army still outnumbers them, our losses will be all the more heavy without a quick, efficient way to bypass their fortifications."

"The walls the rebels have built are simple," Shining Armor said, speaking up for the first time. "Little more than wood and stone. Our battering rams and catapults may have been destroyed, but we can still use ladders to climb up the walls."

"We would be slaughtered," Flash Sentry piped up. "Our troops would have to march while carrying them, leaving them vulnerable to archers and spellcasters. Why not wait for reinforcements and additional weapons to be brought in? It could take as little as a week and..."

"A week for our enemies to fortify their position and to allow that foul creature to recover and launch another raid against our war camp," Shining Armor countered. "With our stolen medical supplies, the witch could very well get back to her full strength in less than a week. How long do you think until she infiltrates our camp once more? Would you have us wait until she gathers her strength and deliver retribution on the rest of our own? And what of the rebel leader? He has proven to be a more cunning adversary than any of us initially thought. The more time we sit here and dawdle, the more time he has to craft insidious schemes against us, schemes that could very well prove as devastating as the witch's attack last night."

Shining Armor looked around to the assembled ponies, allowing them to take this in. "This work done by a single rebel witch tells me one thing—our enemy is desperate. It was a display of power meant to intimidate and make us question ourselves, because they know they don’t have the numbers to defeat us. Or perhaps they are in preparation to unleash an even more devastating attack."

Shining Armor and the rest of the officers considered this, deeming it too dangerous to postpone the assault.

"So it is agreed?" All presiding officers nodded, some more reluctantly than others. "Then it's settled. We attack at dawn tomorrow."

°°°

That night nopony slept well. Disciplined though they were, the Royal Guard were all to mortal, and the display of foul magics by the little human still fresh in their minds, many of them did not dare nod off, for fear the little witch would come back and reap vengeance.

So it was with no small amount of relief that Shining Armor rose from his bedroll and donned his armor. The Captain was still sore and bruised from his encounter with the sorcerous little creature but his bones were mended and he was back in fighting shape.

Not for the first time did the Captain wonder how an isolated incident of rebellion had turned into a full-fledged battle. The war with Sombra and the empire had been draining enough on Equestrian resources, costing untold amounts of gold and lives. And now this upstart rebel sought to control ponies and build himself a fortification atop Haven's Peak, increasing his forces—forces already proven to be hostile to Equestria...

No. For better or worse this rebellion had to be stamped out here and now or else Shining Armor feared his beloved kingdom would fall into ruin.

Shining Armor and Valiant Charge led the assault. Troops had been preparing the day prior, felling trees to fashion crude but sturdy ladders to climb the wall. Shields were salvaged and hastily repaired, for the front troops would be given them to form a defensive wall against spells and arrows. They had the might of the Equestrian army behind them. They couldn't afford to lose. They wouldn't, Shining Armor told himself and so the wrecked army began their laborious march to the village of Haven's Peak.

"I did not get the chance to tell you this, but I am grateful you decided to participate in the assault. Your presence instills the troops with confidence. Not many could have gone up against such a witch and come out alive," Valiant Charge told his captain.

"We are in this together, Commander, for better or worse," Shining Armor replied. "Let's just hope our fortunes will bear fruit. We can't afford any more distractions from the war."

The army marched in formation, a slow haul due to the loose earth and muddy slopes of the mountain. Rebel pegasi had rained down water on the trail, effectively slowing their advance. Shields lumbered at the front, raised and ready to defend against ranged attacks while archers and spellcasters trailed right behind. Shining Armor watched carefully for any ambushes or concealed traps.

Bringing up the front was a long line of infantry ponies, their swords sheathed as they carried the ladders, propping their shields between the rungs to help stave off ranged attacks. A number of officers cantered back and forth, keeping a sharp eye and keeping the formations intact.

The march was more or less uneventful and while some would see this as a good sign, others couldn't help but be unnerved, wondering if the enemy had something worse in store. The army marched on, and when they were able to make out the hastily built wall and gate of Haven's Peak, with sentries standing guard atop it, Commander Valiant Charge issued directions to begin preparations. The army halted after positioning itself at maximum archer range. Infantry ponies readied their shields and swords, while archers, nocked their arrows and spellcasters prepared to let loose with a volley of debilitating magic or cast protections to their brethren.

The Commander turned to his forces, ready to give his speech.

"Ponies of Equestria! Are you with me?"

"HOO-AH!" The ponies chorused, hefting their weapons.

"Are you ready to exact revenge on these vile rebels?"

"HOO-AH"

"That's the spirit! Listen to me, brothers. Victory awaits us today. We shall ride up those flimsy walls, smash them down and show those pitiful peasants and traitors what real soldiers are like! We shall hunt down every single rebel, then burn and execute them on their own homes! And finally... finally, we will capture that blasted witch, strip her of her clothes and armor, shatter her limbs and let every stallion who has lost a brother to her foul sorceries have his way with her! What do you say to that?"

"HOO-AH!"

When preparations were finally ready, Valiant Charge gave the order.

"Archers! Fire!"

The battle for Haven's Peak began in earnest.

°°°

"What´s wrong, Breeze?"

Summer Breeze, one of the sentries on Haven's Peak's new wall looked over to her comrade, Gumball. The stallion was a foalhood friend of hers, one whom she loved dearly but sometimes he could be denser than a granite boulder.

Summer Breeze gestured with one armored hoof towards the newest addition in their master's arsenal, the weird, red, devil-like creatures with the bright glowing bellies who littered the whole length of the wall now. "It´s these... things. They freak me out to no end, Gum."

The stallion hummed, tilting his head as he watched two of the red creatures chittering amongst each other, occasionally belching up small flecks of flame, which in turn normally resulted in maniacal laughter from both sides.

"I admit, the laughter is a bit off-putting but all in all, these little guys look rather tame compared to everything else. Sure, they breathe fire but so do Dragons but these little fellows don't toast you just because they can. Their claws are tiny and they have no thick scales. Hay, I bet one good buck could squish them."

"Ach, stallions!" Breeze face hoofed, resulting in a loud clang as her shoe met her helmet. "How can you be so nonplussed, Gum? Don't tell me the fact that they just jumped out of the ground did not worry you at least a bit?" The mare gestured to the weird ring of stone with the red mist wafting out of it that sat at the base of the wall. "For all we know, we could be sitting atop a massive burrow of these things! And what about that tall, black creature that opened these holes and called them here?"

"You mean the one with the burning sword yes? Well, I thought she just might be their leader or their mother or something. They seem to obey her without hesitation." Gumball watched with fascination as one of the devil things spat a glob of fire in it´s armored hand, only to smash it into the face of the other devil. Surprisingly, that only made both even laugh harder and more hysterically. "Okay, I might see what you mean there Breeze." Gumball conceded. "But hey, at least they are on our side, yes?"

Summer Breeze´s ears flicked suddenly. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"There is something whistling..." Breeze looked up and her ears splayed back. "Arrows!"

Without waiting for her friend to react, she tackled Gumball and pressed both of them against the wall, praying that would grant them at least some sort of protection. Not seconds later, a hail of arrows fell down, piercing into the wood of the wall, the ground behind the wall and clinking loudly against the sentries' armor.

After she was sure that all arrows were down, Summer Breeze dared to look up. Her surroundings looked like a massive pin-cushion. A few of the red creatures had literally been riddled with arrows and were in the process of dissolving into a disturbing cloud that looked like a skull of sorts. "Hey Gumball? Gum? Are you alright?" She asked, looking at her friend.

"I think there is an arrow sticking in my butt," Gumball groaned.

"What a loss for the Equinity," Summer Breeze snarked as she noticed that there was only a fine, red line running down Gumballs flank, barley a glorified scratch. Then she looked over the wall and her heart nearly leaped out of her throat. The Royal Guard was here! Nearly tripping over the still cowering Gumball, Summer Breeze reached for the signal horn and blew it with all her might.

°°°

Shining Armor watched, pleased that a number of the arrows had found their marks. Even from a distance he could see the strange red colored creatures stationed atop the walls and that some of them seemed to turn into some sort of cloud as the arrows speared them. The uncouth little beasts that had survived the assault taunted and jeered in some inane language, making faces and turning around before slapping their buttocks, mocking him and his fellow soldiers.

From beside him Valiant Charge sneered at the display, while Shining Armor's line drew in a tight line. These goblin-like vermin and the brown colored ilk that, by witnesses' accounts, burst out of the ground during the witch's assault, had not been before documented as a part of the rebel leader's forces. Perhaps he'd come into their possession recently? Or had he been keeping their existence secret until forced to play his hoof?

Intelligence was frustratingly limited when it came to the rebel leader. Wherever he came from, he had made it a priority to keep as much of himself as he could a secret. His origins were unknown, his brand of magic and foul sorceries foreign to the Equestrians' record keepers. His goals and motives remained shrouded in mystery. They couldn't even place the name of his species, and what limitations they might possess, to say nothing of that devastating projectile weapon he'd been seen employing, and now the witch...

There were too many unknowns to Shining Armor's taste. True, the rebel forces were a pittance compared to his army, but that didn’t stop the rebel leader from springing some very unpleasant surprises that took his forces by surprise and decimated the brave ponies under his watch. Ideally, Shining Armor would prefer to gather intelligence before engaging such a deceptive, resourceful foe, but the more time the creature was allowed to run free, the more power he gathered. That his actions clearly spoke of hostility to Equestria was the final straw. No, whatever he was, whatever his motives may have been, he and his forces were a blight that needed to be extinguished as quickly as possible.

"Second Volley!" Valiant Charge called out. Countless arrows nocked in their bows before being let loose, sailing like a dark cloud through the air. At the sight of this, the little red creatures' eyes bugged out and started running around haphazardly, arms waving like windmills in a mad attempt to avoid the projectiles. What stunned Valiant Charge and Shining Armor was how effective this proved to be, for none of the little beasts had been struck.

"Third Volley!" Valiant Charge cried out, annoyed. But as the archers readied their arrows, a lone, lumbering figure made its presence known. Shining Armor's eyes narrowed as who could only be the rebel leader appeared at the center of the walls, seemingly unbothered by the advancing army. The tall biped of armor and muscle raised a hand and within it, a surge or red magics pooled before the creature let them loose... and high into the air, where it exploded in a flashy show of lights.

Shining Armor looked to the Commander, clearly confused and Valiant Charge mirrored the expression. The archers too had stopped, clearly expecting... more.

"Calm yourselves, everypony," Valiant Charge boomed. Shining Armor sent officers down the line to return some semblance of order to the ponies, who had halted, befuddled at the strange action by the rebel leader. The rather confused infantry at the front continued their march with halfhearted enthusiasm. Already they entered in range of the enemy archers and spellcasters. Too few of the former, though a straggle of arrows and spells continued to pelt the advancing line. Not enough to cause much concern, but the decline in ponypower was certainly noticeable.

"Third Volley! Move!"

The archers regained their composure and fired. Shining Armor watched the volley fly, but almost immediately he noticed something was amiss. While the majority of the arrows made their way to the walls, a second wave rose higher than the rest, almost heading skyward. He wondered whether the order had been misheard from the archers in the back, but as the errant volley flew back down, the sinister intent crashed down on Shining Armor with horrifying clarity.

The advancing line of Equestrians was fortified and well defended to shield against attacks from the front, fashioned to halt incoming attacks or deflect arrows, the advancing line only keeping eyes on the scene before them, and completely oblivious to the rain of death bearing down from above.

Pandemonium reigned as Equestrians fell under the sudden and unexpected blow. The amount of dead and outright injured was enough for the Equestrian line to halt, several holes in its formation, the sheer surprise halting soldiers in their tracks.

Those squads that carried the siege ladders and many others dropped what they were doing immediately and searched frantically, looking for a possible ambush. Then any semblance of order in the ranks of the Equestrian army completely dissolved.

A furious officer charged forward towards the confused and disarrayed mass of archers and pinned down an archer before the stallion could react, yelling obscenities. Then, the archer grabbed a nearby rock and caved in the officer's skull. The defiant arched stood amongst his stunned brethren, raising the bloodstained rock and yelled something out, too faint for Shining Armor to hear over the commotion, but a third of the archers then mirrored his cry and the Captain could hear it loud and clear.

"For the glory of the Demon King!"

The frenzied archers immediately turned on their brethren, slitting throats and stabbing backs. Those who simply couldn't comprehend their situation died outright while those who were of quicker mind dropped their bows and drew a dagger to defend themselves. A vicious battle broke out amongst the infantry and the assault on Haven's Peak was forgotten as the bewildered Equestrians engaged in a fierce battle for survival. Innumerable numbers of Equestrians spread out to do battle with their counterparts. Infighting started amongst the disciplined soldiers, the turncoats' armor and visage mirroring them entirely, making it impossible to figure out who among them were traitors until an often times lethal first blow was struck. Lifelong friends and acquaintances turned on each other, believing the other to be traitors, desperately fighting an enemy they could not spot.

Then the rebels' archers let loose with their own volley, focusing on pockets of organized resistance and further fueling the chaos. Atop the walls, the strange red creatures begun their attack in earnest with wild and incomprehensible war cries.

Then fire rained from the sky. A rain of Firebolts pelted mostly the ground in front of the Equestrians, but some reached far enough to hit their mark. Most guards were lucky enough and the fiery globs did nothing more than singe some fur but one pony was not so lucky. The first archer who had changed sides had no time to react properly before his whole body lit up like a torch, crumbling into a thrashing heap.

The rebel spellcasters engaged in battle with their Equestrian counterparts, doing their utmost to prevent devastating elemental attacks from tearing either side. While the Equestrian spellcasters held the greater numbers, the rebels had the luxury of warding their predetermined positions with powerful runes, erected by courtesy of their leader. Incoming fireballs were completely snuffed out, lightning bolts diverted harmlessly into stone or upturned mounds of earth and telekinetic assaults turned back at their attackers. Everything thrown at the rebel mages atop the walls simply didn't have any effect.

The archers worked in tandem with the spellcasters, overcoming their Equestrian counterparts and adding to the fuel of panic that spread across the Equestrian line. Those at the edges of the formation threw down their weapons and anything weighing them down and ran for their lives.

A slow, lumbering creak and the gates of Haven's Peak were raised. A battalion of heavily armored infantry surged forth, clad in hellish red armor, the very earth trembling under their heavy hoofsteps. The mere sight of these heavily armored berserkers broke what semblance of discipline remained among the Equestrians.

"For the glory of the Demon King!"

The unified roar of the rebels succeeded in routing the Equestrian line. Many soldiers abandoned the fray and galloped downhill as fast as they legs would allow, but even then they received no mercy. An example had to be made of them, for daring to challenge the powerful rebel leader.

Waiting for them were strange creatures, resembling the ones atop the walls that lobbed fireballs at them without pause, but brown in color, heavily armored and waiting patiently for the panicking soldiers. Spears, halberds, maces and swords felled ponies by the dozens, the unrelenting little creatures working as a cohesive fighting force as they advanced like a pack of hungry timberwolves. Pegasi swept through the skies, dropping bombs that exploded in roiling flames, jagged ice, searing lightning or poisonous gases, taking yet another high toll from the Loyalists.

"This... this is betrayal on an unimaginable scale!" Valiant Charge growled, shaking with fury.

Shining Armor, despite his wounds, managed to dispatch a rebel who tried to kill them. "It seems the rebel leader has no shortage of tricks to spring upon us." he said grimly.

A nearby mage, along with two fellow brethren worked in tandem to stem the overwhelming projectile attacks fired in their direction. "The creature must have addled the minds of our own with his foul sorceries! What other explanation could there be for so many brothers to turn against us?"

"I don’t know, comrade. I simply do not know." said Valiant Charge.

"Then what are we waiting for? With me, colts! We must cleanse these vile magics from our brothers' minds."

"No, stop!" Shining Armor commanded, but too late. The three headstrong ponies charged at a unified group of turncoats, their horns radiating potent magic.

"Cleanse yourselves, and be free!" The ponies chanted and a thick wave of magical power doused the frenzied ponies, making most of them and quite a few of the unaddled Equestrians, halt their actions. More than a few looks of puzzlement were directed at the mages.

Then an innocuous bolt of magic hit the lead mage in the face, itself exploding in a shower of gore. The remaining two were riddled with arrows or their armor split by the heavy blows of the berserkers.

Shining Armor was nothing if not saddened by this turn of events. The sheer feeling of hopelessness he felt at watching his army tearing itself apart from the inside consumed his being. "This battle was lost before it began. We need to retreat, Commander, and gather what forces we can."

"Retreat!" The commander said furiously. "I will not run with my tail between my legs like some filthy Diamond Dog! That fell creature must pay in blood for the lives his foul sorceries have claimed this day!"

Shining Armor put a hoof on the Commander's withers. "I know your pain, comrade, really I do. But this is not the time for such a rash action. Our troops will die if we stay here any longer. We owe it to them to salvage what lives we can in return for this failed assault."

Valiant Charge looked like he so wanted to explode into action, but his friend's words got through. "You are right, Captain," he said, his voice now weary. "We must ride back and provide leadership for those ponies who have yet survived."

"Then let's be on our way."

Shining Armor and his Commander rallied what troops they could and fought their way down the slope, felling as many traitors and rebels as they could. Their path led them into the thick of the mountain, forgoing the main road where stray pegasi followed, dropping explosive payloads on the retreating ponies. Archers and rangers that had lived and prowled the mountains their whole lives gave chase, pelting them with arrows and bolts of magic dropped their numbers further.

By the time Shining Armor and his remaining soldiers reached a rocky, steep cliff, only Valiant Charge and a dozen additional soldiers remained.

"So it is to be our last stand," the Captain muttered to himself, readying his weapons. Only the sight of his composure managed to bring some semblance of discipline to the ponies, who barely managed to keep from shuddering as legions of rebels emerged out of the woodwork, these bloodthirsty brown creatures skittering amongst them, many now wearing stolen Guard helmets as trophies.

Shining Armor hefted his sword and readied to charge. If this was to be his death, then he would take as many rebels as he could.

"Brother! Wait!"

Shining Armor was dumbstruck as a very winded Twilight emerged from the throngs of advancing rebels.

"Twily?" He whispered, hardly able to believe his eyes. Right there, from the ranks of his enemies emerged his beloved little sister. Strangely enough, she did not look like a prisoner. Maybe aside from one of the brown kobolds sitting on her back, waving its sword enthusiastically in the air or at least until it was plucked off by Twilight's telekinetic grasp and hurried back into the mass of enemy soldiers.

"T-twily? What are you doing here?" Shining Armor felt an odd mix of relief and dread well up in his heart. "They... you were... intelligence had you reported as... as fallen. How...?"

Twilight was now standing halfway between the rebel forces and the remainders of the Royal Guard troops. Her lab coat was fluttering in a slight breeze, revealing a glint of metal underneath as a ray of light fell on a harness in the same color like those the rebel’s forces wore.

The mare scuffed the ground with her hoof lightly before looking at the stallion that was her brother again. "It... it is a long story, really and not a very pleasant one, believe me."

"Captain Armor, who is this mare?" Valiant Charge stepped up besides Shining Armor. "More importantly, can´t you see that she is wearing the rebel scum's armor? We shouldn't be talking with her, we should..." The stallion immediately shut up as Shining Armor stared him down with a glare that could have culled an adult dragon.

"This is my little sister, Twilight."

"Your sister is a traitor?!" Valiant Charge demanded furiously.

"No!" The Captain snapped. "That's... that's not what's happening here." He looked back to his sister, a myriad of emotions rushing through her face. "Right, Twily?"

"Shiny, I..." Twilight gulped. "Yes, I am a part of the rebel forces," she forced out the words.

"Your own sister is a traitor to the crown! She just admitted to high treason!" The Commander shouted. "This makes me question your own loyalties, Shining Armor. How else would the rebels be able to deliver such a devastating strike against our forces? How else could all these traitors have infiltrated our ranks? All this makes a suspicious amount of sense now!"

"My allegiance lies to Equestria alone!" Shining Armor shouted, greatly offended at the accusation.

"Be that as it may," a new voice said and a Unicorn mare advanced. "Our leader Ganondorf is ready to grant you mercy, should you drop your weapons and surrender. We are under orders to bring you back alive, Captain." she nodded to Shining Armor. "Your compatriots, however, are none of my concern. If they don’t drop their weapons and surrender before our leader, they will be cut down where they stand."

That statement seemed to delight the brown creatures as they left the main mass of the rebels, their blood caked weapons glimmering in the light and demented, murderous glee shone in their eyes but then, they all stopped at once, like clockwork toys whose mechanisms had all run out at one. Now they only blinked owlishly at the Equestrian, their heads slightly cocked.

"Shining, please," Twilight pleaded. "Do as she says. I will explain everything but you and your ponies have to surrender. You will be unharmed, I personally guarantee it."

At this, a single Pegasus stallion, Flash Sentry, was the first to drop his weapons and eagerly joined the rebel line. The remaining loyal guards were quick to follow and were summarily cuffed and restrained.

"Cowards!" Valiant Charge howled in fury. "All of you, cowards! I will personally execute you for this dereliction of duty!" The Commander hefted his own war axe and charged at the dissenting ponies, but he was promptly bombarded with arrows and globs of searing hellfire.

"Now that that unpleasant business is over with," the lead mare said plaintively as the former commander's body burned into a crisp. "Will you come with us, great warrior?"

Shining Armor scowled. "Very well. Take me to your leader."

°°°

[Umbra´s POV]

Ganondorf lounged easily on the imposing, throne-like chair fashioned for him in the longhouse, satisfied by the fortuitous events of the day. The Equestrians had been caught with their metaphorical pants down, clearly not expecting the Gerudo overlord's cunning to bite them so deep in the ass.

Jackie's raid the other night had served more than one purpose. The diminished enemy force was a boon in itself, but in the commotion, a number of Ganondorf's troops had infiltrated the Loyalists' camp and donned the golden armor of the guard, itself enchanted to mask its wearer's appearance. His best troops had infiltrated the Equestrian line and after that, it was merely a matter of giving the signal for his forces to announce their presence and instigate the enemy's revolt.

Of course, more of his raiders that night had made off with food supplies, medicine and medicinal tools, weapons, intelligence reports and anything else they could get their hooves on.

Ganondorf smiled, pleased. Though the ponies certainly held the advantage of magic, it seemed humans or at least he was a step ahead in matters of war, an art refined and perfected since the dawn of mankind.

And now, the proud Captain Shining Armor was brought to him in irons. Twilight had pleaded with him for hours on end to spare her beloved brother, and while Ganondorf was insistent he should die as a consequence of defying him, Twilight did bring up a good point. Allow him to live and serve under him. As Captain of the Royal Guard, the stallion would be privy to valuable enemy intelligence that could help him outmaneuver the Equestrians and exploit their weaknesses.

"Shining Armor," Ganondorf drawled. "So you're the Captain of the guard. One can't help but wonder why such an important figure as yourself is leading the charge on a little Revolte."

From a corner of the room, I scoffed, having insisted on participating on the meeting. I hadn't forgotten the punishment Shining Armor had inflicted on Jackie, who laid stoned out of her mind in the infirmary at the moment and I fully well intended to somehow get back at him for that, in whatever way I deemed appropriate.

"Probably because he is one of the best shield conjurers in the whole guard, maybe except for Celestia and Luna themselves. One of the few competent members of the whole Guard too, so sending him as a leader is the only logical thing to do." I jabbed, idly playing with my longsword.

Shining Armor bristled at the jab. "The Royal Guard is Equestria's best line of defense..."

"And sent running like a bunch of scared rabbits!" I mocked, smiling maliciously. Shining Armor's jaw tightened.

"Do you know why you have been brought here, Captain?" Ganondorf asked.

"No."

"You are here for no other reason than your sister," he motioned to Twilight, who had never left her brother's side. "She convinced me to capture you alive and indoctrinate you into my ranks, to serve as another faithful soldier."

"You think I would serve you after what you did to my ponies?" Shining demanded incredulously. "Two thousand troops, almost all dead by your hoof!"

"Oh come on Shiny, think about it," a new voice could be heard as a light pink Alicorn with a tri colored mane sauntered towards the stallion. "Don´t you think you can do it, for me?" The tall mare then leaned forward to whisper into Shining's ear. "I´ll make it worth your while." But while she said it, her voice lost its sweet quality and instead a distorted voice came out of the mare's muzzle, like two voices speaking out of synch.

Eyes wide, Shining Armor's ears splayed back. "Cadence? No... this voice..."

Twilight at his side was equally standing ramrod stiff as she stared at the being in front of her brother.

A cruel, sharp toothed smile broke all over Cadence's muzzle as her body flickered like a phantasm in the desert before the spell fizzled out and revealed me, a sardonic grin plastered all over my face.

"Oh, your face! I must do a great Cadence, hn? I mean, I do Cadence greatly, so that´s kind of a self-answering question." I never for a second tried to hide my mocking tone as I soaked in the shocked expression of the white stallion, turning to walk back to the corner I previously stood in.

"Creature! What have you done with my wife?!" Shining Armor roared and lunged for the me, but the rebel guards restrained him.

"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist. Other than fucking her pretty Princess brain out, I haven't done anything to her. Swearsie Realsies." I sing-songed before forming a V shape with my fingers around my mouth and performing very obvious, very lewd licking motions between them.

Shining Armor swelled with fury "You...!"

"Get dunked on punk." I waved the fuming stallion off as I returned to my corner, once again leaning against a support beam. That had been a satisfactory start, really satisfactory.

Ganondorf snapped his fingers and a sharp snapping noise like a firecracker quelled the Captain's furious diatribe.

"Why were you sent here, Captain? Answer the question."

Armor glared at me, to which I promptly gave him the finger but he answered nonetheless. "I was sent to assess the threat you and your rebels posed to Equestria and to determine whether you should all be exterminated."

"And your assessment?"

"You all need to be destroyed immediately." he replied with a hard voice.

An outbreak of threats and exclamations broke out as the Havenites who had been allowed to attend the meeting raged at the Captain's words, shouting threats, insults and urging Ganondorf to smite him where he stood. Ganondorf raised a hand and the ponies silenced, but still shot glares at the unbowed Captain.

"Shining Armor, for your crimes and malicious intent to me and my ponies, you would normally be sentenced to a swift death." His eyes found Twilight's but for a moment.

"Dibs on his soul!" I chimed in happily. Ganondorf continued on, not paying any heed.

"But your sister Twilight has made a case for you. She believes you would be more useful to me alive than dead. She has served me well and faithfully these past few months and it is only because of her that you still draw breath. So," he said and sat straight up. "Will you serve me and act as my vassal? Will you lay down your life for me and serve to the best of your ability, knowing refusal will mean your death?"

Shining Armor couldn't believe his ears as he stared incredulously at the massive Gerudo.

"Of course I won't join you!" He spat.

"Shining, please..."

"No, Twilight, this I cannot do. This monster killed my brothers and conscripted you into his service. I know you, Twilight. You're a good pony and yet you're here, serving this foul creature! What vile magics has he worked on you? What will he do to me? Am I to remain a slave for the rest of my life, giving myself to this monster that killed thousands of my brothers? No, I refuse it!"

"Well, charisma check failed, Ganon. What now? Waterboarding? Beatings with bamboo rods? Making him listen to ABBA?" I asked as Twilight burst into tears, pleading for her brother to change his mind.

"Shining you idiot, they're going to kill you!"

"I don't care," the stoic pony said calmly. "All my life I wanted to help ponies and defend Equestria. I forged lifelong bonds with my brothers and swore my service to the princess. Submitting myself to this creature's will goes against everything I live for." He looked into his sister's eyes, and his visage softened. "I'm sorry, Twily, I really am, but this is not a path I can walk." He brushed her cheek with his hoof.

"I'm sorry," Twilight whispered. Shining Armor could only look on in puzzlement as Twilight immobilized him, her magic flaring about, enveloping his frame and rendering him immobile.

"Twilight?" The captain rasped, only being allowed control of his mouth. "What are you doing?"

Ganondorf answered his question. "It is by Twilight's will that you were not cut down in the battlefield, captain. Your life, every breath you've drawn henceforth is her doing and her responsibility. It is because of this that she will be the one to carry out your execution." Ganondorf calmly explained to the horrified stallion.
That again struck me like electric shock. Holy fuck, this asshole was even more detestable than I thought. Making siblings kill each other, you just don´t do that!

"No! Monster! How dare you?!" Shining Armor screamed in outrage. Twilight's small frame entered his sight. Tears streaked down her muzzle, eyes bloodshot and a dagger wavering unsteadily in her magical grasp, yet a spark of determination, of unyielding will flickered in her eyes. Shining Armor knew there and then his sister would carry out the foul creature's will. "Twilight, no..."

"I'm sorry, Shiny. I have to." Twilight croaked. Shining Armor could see it clearly now. Ganondorf's dark magics had corrupted the mind of his beloved little sister. She loved him still, he saw throughout their brief reunion traces of the Twilight he had come to know, but her life and her mind belonged to Ganondorf. His will was her command and she would carry out her orders, regardless of the bond they shared.

This horrifying realization was too much for Shining Armor to bear. "Stop!" He yelled with as much authority as he could inflect in his voice. Twilight immediately halted, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "I accept," Shining Armor whispered. Twilight's hold on him eased, but remained strong, enough so that Shining could now look at Ganondorf, a look of pure, venomous spite and hate in his features. "I will do whatever you want. I will serve you faithfully to the best of my ability. Just... just don’t make my sister do this!" he said, defeated.

Ganondorf smiled, pleased. "So be it." He then looked to the two guards flanking the Captain. "Lock him in the cells. I will deal with him tomorrow." The ponies saluted and hauled the defeated stallion, Twilight hurrying after them, keeping her brother company.

"Well, that was somehow unsatisfying." I commented, then turned to the gathered Havenites. "Alright, enough of the doom and gloom. Today was a huge success thanks to all of ya, you kicked some of Equestria's finest square in the balls so hard even Celestia will feel it all the way to Canterlot. Let's party!" I yelled to the enthusiastic cheers of the ponies. Deep inside, I was just so unspeakably relieved that I had not to watch Twilight kill Shining right then and there. As much as I loathed him for banging up Jackie, he did not deserved that fate.

Throughout the settlement, the Havenites reveled in their mighty victory against the larger Equestrian army, celebrating through the night, feasting, drinking, dancing and singing. The Minions joined in eagerly, reenacting the scene of the battle and those imitating the invaders cowering and running like headless chickens at the disastrous rout, eliciting laughs from the colts and fillies. Even Ganondorf partook in the wine that flowed like water, I popped up all over the place, never staying in one place to long but always toasting with some partying Havenites, telling some dirty jokes but always maneuvering around Ganondorfs general surroundings. As much as I wanted to pay back Shining Armor for all the pain he brought down on Jackie, seeing the stubborn stallion so cruelly and ruthlessly manipulated by Ganondorf gave me a truly sick feeling in my stomach.

After a while, I managed to slip away from the party, making my way to the cabin Jackie was still resting in, a jar of wine on one hand and a loaf of bread in the other.

With the battle for Haven's Peak now over, it was only a matter of time before I and Jackie went back to my home, and away from this twisted, nightmarish world the Demon King made his own.

The sooner, the better!

Author's Note

One more chapter and the "Renegade Arc" will be over, Jackie will be sent on her merry way and Umbra will be left to her own devices again.

Let´s get this show on the road then, shall we?

24. Hard Reset

- 24. Hard Reset –

[3rd Person POV]

The sound of water softly pattering on a lonesome piece of vegetation, pearling down sickly colored leaves and trailing down on them, only to fall on the hard ground below filled the air around Norbert. The Death Minion was holding a banged-up, brazen watering can, sprinkling murky water on the singular Nether Lily that had been planted on the small grave near his shack.

Norbert stared down on the grave. Ever since his Ladyship had come to his homestead on that particular day, to lay this nameless pony child to rest here, he had taken it upon himself to tend to this specific burial site.

For him, who could bring his fallen brethren back from the clutches of death for the right prize with but a flick of his wrist and was by almost all definitions an ageless being himself, the rites and customs other species held for their deceased always had held a curious point of interest.

Also, it was a nice change of pace, to tend to something besides the other Minions. Kept things fresh and helped break the monotony that was his existence most of the time.

Satisfied with having done his duty here for today, Norbert walked back to his homestead. He set down the watering can beside the door and went inside. Closing the door, Norbert went straight to the chair next to an old desk, two out of four furnishings that filled the single room, the other two being an ancient potbelly stove and his bed.

A content sigh escaped Norbert’s lips as the ancient Blue reclined in his favorite chair. Reaching over, Norbert took a hold of the chipped tea cup sitting on the table and idly inspected its contents.

The liquid that one might generously call “tea” inside, his very own secret blend of five different fungi only growing in the Brood Cavern, the best pieces of mangy rat fur available and steeped in water straight from the Soul River was still steaming, with the occasional bubble rising up from it. With the slow deliberation of a true connoisseur, the Death Minion took a long sip of the hazardous liquid and sighed again.

Yes, moments like this were true bliss.

And like true bliss, all too short and fleeting as a sudden sensation managed to flawlessly end the old Minion's state of being as the very fabric of reality itself rippled like a disturbed surface of a lake. To anyone else, it might have been unnoticeable but for Norbert it was like someone was slamming his face into a wall, only to make him take notice of the whole building.

The unearthly cry of sheer anguish that followed, on the other hand, was enough to rouse the metaphorical dead. It was a vocalization of loss, despair and carried the weight of a soul that just had ripped an important part of itself ripped away, to never know it again.

Without missing a beat, Norbert set his cup down, grabbed his scythe and left his shack. Standing on his porch, he looked up, towards the caverns ceiling. Norbert took a step forward and without any further noises, the robed Minion disappeared.

Over the whole course of his life, many had speculated that Norbert somehow had come to master the arcane art of teleportation, given how he seemed to be able to appear out of seemingly thin air at will, reaching the farthest places of the dark citadel within heartbeats.

Things could not have been farther away from the truth, however.

Teleportation was a magical art so virtuous, something so powerful and delicate that Norbert was pretty sure that even in his next eight lifetimes, he would be unable to even try his hands at the very basics.

To teleport oneself or others, the spellcaster had to release the bonds that held together the most fundamental parts of the body down to the cellular level without destroying them. After that, the caster had to weave the spell in a way that it linked itself to the ethereal winds of arcane energies that flow all around the world, in order to reach the travel destination. After that came of course the hardest part, namely to put the body or the bodies of the recipients of the spell back together in the exact same way they had been before the spell had been casted. One hundred percent precision was crucial here, because even the slightest mistake could prove disastrous at this stage of the spell. Missing eyebrows, hair or toes were the smallest of things to happen if one was careless. Finding oneself with one´s lungs instead of the feet or finding oneself missing the entirety of one’s skin or at worst, just a formless heap of quivering meat where among the worst possible outcomes one could suffer from a flawed teleportation.

Instead, Norbert had managed to polish one of the Blue Minions' very core abilities to perfection and above.

Invisibility.

Being stuck with the frailest bodies of all Minions, the Blue Minions had to rely on various tricks to survive since the times of yore and this was their most well-known and used means to do so.

Every Blue worth his salt could cloak himself in a shroud of magic that let them vanish from the eyes of their surroundings and only the mightiest of sorcerers or eldest of beasts were able to still detect them, once cloaked.

Norbert succeeded even then by honing his own invisibility to such a degree that he was able to fool the very laws of time and space themselves. Once he became invisible, he effectively stopped existing for the universe around him and thus was able to move through the fabric of reality itself with nothing more but a simple step and a clear picture of his destination in mind. In a way, Norbert was able to travel from one end of the world to another in one simple step should he ever need to. That he himself was the Minion of Death might or might not have played a role in all of this too.

One heartbeat later, he found himself in his Lady's private quarters, the woman in question lying curled up in a fetal position on the floor and staring catatonically straight in front of herself with her eyes wide and rivers of tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Milady?” Norbert rasped as he neared the prone figure. “Milady, can you hear me?”

No response.

For a few moments, Norbert simply stood there, pondering what to do next. At least until a semblance of life returned to Umbra´s body as she turned her head slightly to look up at him.

“Milady, are you well?” Norbert asked, knowing the answer from the get go.

“…” Umbra´s lips moved wordlessly.

“Are you able to stand up?”

“It… something is… gone…” the words came at a slow, anguished pace, the dark toned woman’s face again contorting into a mask of suffering.

Norbert nodded. “I thought as much.”

“Umbra?” Onyx called out as the dragoness came into view, holding one hand to her own head and wobbling slightly. “What in the name of the Everflame just happened?”

“Ah, good timing. Help me get her Ladyship onto her bed,” Norbert instructed gently but without missing a beat. “We will need her to be comfortable for a good while.”

“Well… if ya say so. I still don´t know what´s going on but I guess being comfy cannot hurt,” Onyx mumbled more to herself as she picked her friend up and carried her into her bedroom.

After being laid onto her bedding, Umbra found it in herself to address her Minion, all the while staring at the ceiling.

“Norbert… I… something just…” she reached to her right arm with her left hand, obviously searching for something that was no longer there. “I just… something just vanished. From my mind, my memories…”

Norbert nodded.

“It is almost… almost like something took a scissor and cut someone out of a photograph. Leaving only empty space behind. Only… only with the photograph being my memories.” A sob fought its way through between Umbra’s lips. “Everything else is still there, but now there are these… holes in everything. I know that there should be someone, a face, a name but I just can´t grasp it. Someone I knew, someone I held dear to me." She wiped her eyes and closed them shut, searching her mind, hoping to clutch at what vestiges of this mystery phantom might remain, but found none. "I still see places, remember doing stuff connected with whatever disappeared but… the rest is only smokes and shadows. The more I try to remember the more it slips away, like a dream.” Another sob and this time, Umbra clutched the fabric of her tunic just above her heart. “But dreams don't hurt like this! Why does it hurt so badly?”

Gritting her teeth, Onyx stared down at the Blue Minion herself. “Same here. I was just taking a nap when suddenly it felt like someone had sunk their claws into my brain and ripped something out of there with some kind of magic mumbo jumbo. And since we dragons are pretty damn resistant to all kinds of magic, that makes me damn uncomfortable. So mind shedding some light on what in Tartarus just happened?”

Sighing, Norbert propped himself on his scythe. “I will try to put this in as simple terms as possible. An existence has just been erased from the stream of time by some unknown force or reason, along with its home plane. Whatever or whoever that was has been completely erased from existence. I suspect that this person you are talking about, my lady, belonged to this plane of reality. By all intents and purposes, it is as if this person has never existed in the first place and this subsequently caused a backlash in the minds of everyone who ever interacted with this erased existence, which caused a loss of all specific memories regarding them. Furthermore has this erased all recordings in whichever form and any items tied to this reality too, in order to keep the frail fabric of reality from being torn asunder from any sort of paradox.”

“What?” Both Onyx and Umbra asked at the same time.

“As a representation of Death, I know this much about this affair but not more.” Norbert conceded, shaking his head slightly. “As I must admit that even my own memories have been affected, in order to keep the cosmic balance.”

Struggling to sit up, Umbra had to take Onyx's claw as the dragoness carefully sat down on her friend’s bed, resting one comforting hand on the woman’s shoulder.

Fighting through another series of sobs, Umbra slung her arms around her knees and peered at Norbert from underneath the veil of her bangs. “Is there… is there any chance these… memories can be restored? It just feels like I just lost a part of myself and then someone stabbed me through the heart with a red hot glowing fire poker… I’m not sure if I can manage to endure that.”

Norbert shook his head “I am afraid not Milady. Once something is lost from the stream of time, it can never be restored.”

This in turn caused fresh tears to stream down Umbra´s cheeks and caused Onyx to wrap a wing around the shivering body of her friend.

“Can´t do anything huh?”

“Well, if I would venture a guess, the company of a good friend and lots of comfort food might be able to dull the pain over time.” Norbert offered. The old Minion regarded his lady shrewdly, hesitating as to whether continue. "This may sound callous, my Lady, but this pain will pass. Whatever may have happened to this plane of existence, its end came too sudden, too abruptly. The sheer backlash resonated violently with all those who came in contact with it, but the cosmos is nothing if not thorough. The pain will fade, as will any lingering memory or traces of this person. In time, you will even forget you knew them in the first place, all traces will be erased from the minds of all beings."

Pulling Umbra a bit closer, Onyx looked at the Blue before finally making a shooing motion with her free claw. “Well, then git. See if ya can find Gnarl or Wiener or someone for that food while I´ll take care of the company part.”

A slightly muffled “Thank you” came from the leathery confines of Onyx wing, causing the dragoness to look down for a moment and peer at the still shivering form of Umbra, who was all but merging into her side, seeking warmth and comfort to tide herself over this heart and mind breaking moment of higher violence.

“Hey, any time demonette.” Onyx said in a soothing tone “What are friends for hn?”

As Onyx looked up to address Norbert again, the Blue was gone without a trace.

Author's Note

Well, ya.

For all of you who are scratching their heads and asking themselves "WTF just happened?" or "Am I the only one who not get´s what this chapter is supposed to tell us?", it is rather simple.

See, fellow writer and friend of mine The Emerald Nightingale went and deleted his story Delta Guardian, to start it over again for various reasons as version 2.0. Now, his MC Zinnia and my own Umbra had become pretty entangled with each other but due to us not really thinking things through, their whole realtionship ended more or less in a dead end and vegetated there for a long time.

But before we had been able to resolve things, Gale went down the road he did and that left MANY things never to be cleared up, so I had to come up with a solution and finaly decided to pull some wibbley-wobbley timmey-wimmey stuff in order to explain why Zinnia suddenly disapeared from the Multiverse.

I hope that could clear any questions, if there had been any.

With that, I bid all of you wonderful peeps and peepettes out there a good night and we will return to our regular program with the next chapter.

Cheers luvs~

Prologue or A weird Way of Introduction

Prologue

or

A weird Way of Introduction

Pain.

Such absolute ungodly huge amounts of most unadulterated pain ever felt by any sentient being!
That was pretty much everything that occupied my mind right now.

…

Oh and of course the walking supernova, shaped like a certain former Princess of a world full of talking, pastel colored Ponies, gem obsessed bipedal Dogs, shape shifting Bug-Pony-Things and (at least one) surprisingly alluring Dragoness and so much more.

“My, my, what a mess you made out of this place. Oh well, I had some Re-Decorating planed anyways.” A voice sweet like honey and smooth as velvet rang out, carried into my ears by solar breeze that nearly toasted my eardrums.

Scratch that, it toasted my eardrums. Lucky me that I didn´t really need them anymore.

Yay.

Looking up from my comfortable pile of wall debris, armor pieces and growing puddles of my own blood, I found myself eye in eye with her as she stepped casually through the roughly me-shaped hole in the wall.

The very monster I created in a soupcon of enthusiasm, spiced with a truckload of asininity.

“Oh, hi… Celly… fancy meeting you her…” I forced the words over my bruised lips before I was cut short by an armor clad hoof that slammed into my sternum, adding another broken bone to the list.

Her mane and tail, long trails of billowing blue fire, turned bright white for just an instant before turning back to blue. But that was enough to cause me first degree burns. Not that it would have mattered.
Or would have been very obvious since my skin had this nice tone of midnight black since I arrived in this diabetes causing Universe. She brought her head down to face me properly, her horn passing my cheekbone by an Âµ. The bone sizzled with barley contained heat as it grazed my skin ever so slightly.

I screamed and grasped the leg that was holding me down in a halfhearted attempt to free me from the growing pressure and regretted it instantly because not only her horn but her whole body was a literal furnace right now.

Right, no more limiters and stuff. Vollidiot [Moron]!<< this annoying, little You-should-have-known-in-advance-voice in a recently very active part of my brain berated me.

“Now Umbra, what is my name?” she asked me again with that sweet voice while fixating me with glowing white eyes.

Instead of responding, I coughed up blood against Ms. Supernovas leg piece.

She rewarded my attempt of adding more color to her palette with increasing both, the pressure her hoof applied and the heat her body radiated causing the remains of the red tunic I wore underneath my armor to start smoldering, probably unable to decide if she should deep-fry or just crush me.

“…n´t… breathe…” I finally managed to wheeze.

After the most torturing five seconds of my life until now, she gracefully decided to lift her hoof, allowing me to take a few greedy breaths. Ah, air. Such a trivial thing. One does never appreciate it enough until it ran out. I made a mental not to invent a proper holiday to celebrate this incredible element with the due respect.
If I would be able to survive the next few minutes.

“I´m waiting you know? What. Is. My. NAME?”

Ouch, royal canterlot caps lock.

“M-ourning…” I whimpered in pain.

The flaming mare gave me an approving nod. “But there is more, isn´t it?” she said in a mock voice, sounding like a mother that was giving her child a lecture.

“Mourning… Star...” the words finally found their way out of my mouth.

“There. Was it that terrible?” the alicorn cooed in a tone that suggested I was in for a triple chocolate chip cookie.

Satisfied with my answer, Mourning Star took a few steps backwards and pulled me on my feet with her magic at the same time. This caused more parts of my abused armor to flake off from my body like dead leaves from a tree during fall, leaving me effectively with my ragged tunic, a dented left pauldron, my seemingly indestructible Gauntlett of Dominance and the armor on my legs plus my heavy armored boots.

Some of my bangs fell over my own glowing eyes. With a weak huff, I blew them out of my vision, wobbling on my legs to keep myself up.

Mourning Star gave me a pitying once over. “It so sad how the mighty have fallen my dear Umbra. It truly hurts me to see you in this ragged state.” she said softly, almost as if she was consoling me. “Reduced from a powerful ruler to a helpless ragdoll. Completely at my mercy.”

“Well… you didn´t need to beat me up that bad, y´know?” I retorted with a blood caked excuse for a smile. “But hey, since we are already talking so nice, how about discussing this whole ‘living all together in harmony’ thing again? Sounds mighty fine to me right now if I´m honest.”

The monster I unleashed took herself a few seconds before puckering her lips and softly shaking her head. “I am afraid not.” She said, giving me her best impression of drop dead attractive AND three hundred percent lethal corrupted deity. Alongside those words, magic started to build up in her horn. “But since it was you that finally opened my eyes and because you have growled so nicely before me just now, I shall make your end quick. And almost painless.”

Oh great~y. As the magical glow began to grow brighter, I considered my situation. I was pretty battered, my armor was down, almost out of Mana and my mace was probably still embedded in the throne chambers floor. My minions were scattered throughout the whole palace and Onyx… oh gods, Onyx! Last time I saw her, she was doing the dying swan head on towards the castles cobblestone yard. I mean, sure, that dragon was one hell of a though cookie but a face plant after a free fall of approximately one hundred and fifty meters right into solid ground after taking a supercharged solar beam in the ribs?

“Now hold still!” Mourning Star ordered, aiming her fully charged horn at me.

Shit, time for plan B!<< I thought with a hint of panic. “H-hey… didn´t I get some last wish o-or some last words to say at least?” I blurted out while cumulating and concentrating every last ounce of Mana into my left palm.

Raising an eyebrow, the poniefied Sun Goddess turned Supernova delayed my upcoming incineration. “And what would that be oh dearest Umbra? A last meal perhaps? I´m afraid the castles chef is not available at the moment. Or is there something else you crave for?” Mourning Star asked me with a sultry tone “A kiss? Or maybe… a last tumble in the sheets?” The last one came with half lidded bedroom eyes for fucks sake.

Believe it or not, I actually blushed at that. After all I had done up until now, I blushed. My reaction caused a half surprised, half maniacal laughing fit from Her Suness.

“Really now?” Mourning Star asked me while whipping away a tear. Not that she needed to because the tear vaporized nearly the moment it had left her eye.

Shuffling my feet, I gazed onto the floor with great interest. “Well… a kiss would be nice… y´know… since you offered it and all…”

For a second, the self-styled empress looked like she was about to blast me into Oblivion right away. But then, her magical aura vanished. “Fine. I will grant you your last wish.” she declared before sauntering towards me, sashaying her hips. “I´m not a monster after all.”

I felt the magic form in my palm.

Mourning Star had reached me.

Just a bit more.

“Well?” she asked me.

I gulped nervously before leaning towards her. Good thing she was as tall as me so I did not need to crouch down.

She closed in to me, something predatory glinting in her eyes.

“Hey Mourning?”

“What?”

“Surprise Miststück [Bitch]!” I brought up my armored palm and unloaded everything worth of magical energy I had left into a powerful burst of electricity into Ex-Celly´s face. It was not nearly enough to hurt her, hell, it probably would not even stun her for more than a heartbeat but that was all I needed.

Not waiting for that crazy mare to recover from my Corruption spell burst, I dashed through the whole I left in the wall as fast as my mangled body allowed me to. All I had to do was to reach the throne room and then…

BOO~OOOOM!

Jupp, now she was pissed, judging from the intense heat and the shockwave that just rolled over me. A beam of pure plasma whizzed past my head, reducing a statue of a random pony decorating the hallway into nothing. I didn´t even dared to look back. If I had learned anything from all those movies where some cliché ridden teens were on the run from a murderous monster/psychotic serial killer/whatever than it was to never, ever, under no circumstances look back at whatever is chasing you.

So I kept running.

And screaming.

A lot of screaming.

Skidding around the last corner, I reached my destination. The throne room. With a good portion of haste I slammed the doors shut and latched it. “That should buy me a few miliseconds.” I said to no one in particular as my eyes scanned the room. There was my weapon, my beautiful, beautiful mace. Still embedded into the marble tiles. With a strained grunt, I freed my trusty steel companion and walked over to the throne.

Really, the show had never done it justice. On the screen it was just a chair with a big backrest and a purple pillow. But the real deal! The real throne from up close showed so many details, such craftman… ehrm, craftponieship of course, it was astonishing. With an audible ‘whompf’ I sat down on the royal furniture, my mace at reach over my legs. >>Hmm, comfy.<<
With nothing left but waiting for Dark Celly to come after my armored ass, I let my mind roam.
How in the name of Gabba Gandalfs secret ganjah stash had I gotten myself into this mess?
Ah, right, it started with that big Con back on good ol´earth. Just like one of those HiE fics that were flooding Fim-Fiction back then.

°°°

[Roughly two years and a few months prior, late Saturday morning]

“Aww, come on now Vivi. You promised me!” I mock-whined. Vivi, short for Vivianne, best gal-pal and roommate a crazy daughter of a mother like me could have, gave me an irritated moan before climbing out of my little VW.

“Remind me why I agreed to this meat inspection you are calling a Con again.” She groaned, tugging at her costume.

“Because,” I grinned devilish “because you have just the right body to pull this through Vivilein... or should I say Lelith Hesperax?” Checking her long red wig, my roommate did her best to glare at me but she failed miserable. It had took us months to get her costume right but now she was dressed up as Lelith Hesperax, the Dark Eldar Wych Queen from Warhammer 40.000, complete with an authentic pair of daggers (blunt of course), black armor covering her legs and left arm and the matching ‘bikini’, leaving her lithe as fuck body out on display.

I think I drooled a bit the sight.

“But why I have to be this character? I´m practically nude.”

Placing my helmet on my head, I closed my cars luggage compartment and walked up to her, patting her shoulder. “Because you let me and Phil choose your costume Kitten. Plus you look drop dread sexy. Really. And you promised your boyfriend photos.”

Hearing my pet name for her and my honest compliment, Vivi blushed a bit but managed to smile again. “And why do you have a costume that covers your full body Sara?”

“That’s because it’s awesome. Also I don’t want to run around, causing spontaneously eyeball combustion with my beer belly and my thunder thigh’s.”

“You could have laid of the sweets for a while and trained at the gym with me.”

“And miss this?” I gestured alongside my body. “Never!” Right now, I was dressed up as a female version of my most favorite game villain ever, the Overlord from “Overlord II”. I was wearing an almost exact replica of the ‘Netherworld Armor’, meaning lots of overlapping, black steel plates covering my torso, my shins and the dragon skull like pauldron on my right shoulder with a shortish, red came drapped decorativley over my left shoulder and back, all over a red tunic and simple brown pants. That and the ‘Evil Glare Helmet’ in all its two horned and sinister majesty, both made from stainless Russian steel (courtensy of one of my dad’s friends, still expensive as fuck), since I planned to use this bad momma as live role-play equipment. I was already giddy to see the jaws hitting the floor at our next meeting.

“Ready to rock?” I asked and Vivi gave me a thumbs up. After locking the car, I picked up my weapon, a replica of the ‘Unleashed Beast’, the in my opinion coolest mace in the whole game. Fondly I gave the weapon a few swings while walking towards the big convention center. Building that weapon had took three tries but it was worth it. Modelling the wolfs faces on the maces head out of rubber foam had been the hardest part. I even had added some lead band to the core staff to give the whole thing a more realistic feeling. Painting it was much easier even though our apartment still smelled like a factory for latex gloves.

The convention center was bursting with cool stuff and cool people. More than once my friend and I were stopped by other visitors, costumed and non-costumed to pose for a photo. Or two. Mostly they asked Vivi, much to my amusement and her irritation but hey, I had a reason to stick with the original concept for my costume and not pulling some fan service with a free midriff and deep cleavage.
I was aiming to win the annual contest for the best costume and I was going to win it the old fashioned way. By working hard!

We had just reached the hall where the contest would be taking place as fate decided to fuck me over. I was ogling the merchandise at a stand for resin figurines as another visitor bumped into me. Or rather, into my left gauntlet. My gauntlet of Dominance as I called it. This cool thingy that acts as a remote for the Overlords minions. Anyways, I felt a bump and heard a sharp crack. Locking down I felt tears flood my eyes. The gem on top of my gauntlet was broken. No idea how that happened. Maybe it was pushed against the stands edge? In any case, the supposed extra durable security glass was cleanly split into three pieces. I watched stunned as the pieces fell out of the frame. Collecting the pieces, I walked numbly towards my waiting friend.

“Hey, I signed us up. The contest will start in ten, so we still have a little time for dawdling.” Vivi greeted me cheerful. I noticed that she already was carrying a large bag full of swag.

“Well, I´ll just do the dawdling then. Universe, the old killjoy just fucked me over again.” I said bitterly, showing my friend my broken gauntlet.

At first, Vivianne was depressed too but then her face lit up. She took my hand and started pulling me towards a small stand.

“Hey, what gives?” I growled.

“Just you wait.” came the answer.

The stand was nothing more than a small camping table, covered in various knick knacks. I discovered a red Power Ranger action figure, several old Avengers comics in mint condition and a big chest full of… gems? In fact, right on top of the small pile of probably cheap children’s jewelry sat a twin to my own broken gem. It looked even better at second sight. “How much for that one?” I asked the gentleman behind the table, because that was exactly how he looked. A dapper grey suit with black pinstripes, carefully combed black hair with white temples, a top hat that was a little on the worn side but was still classy and a walking cane with a familiar looking golden knob cradled in the crook of his arm. He looked at me, then at the merchandise.

“Ten.” He said in a warm and cheery tone.

“Hmm, eight?” I tried a little bartering.

“How about seven fifty?” the gentleman caught me of guard.

Vivianne and I stared at him before he started laughing.

“Oh ladies, you should see your faces. Priceless!” he snickered “Alright. We have a deal here. Eight and it is yours.” He took of his hat and held it in front of me.

Quickly I dropped the money into it and took my new gem. While doing so, I finally recognized the canes knob. It was the Twi cane from episode two, season four.

“Twi cane is best cane.” I snickered. To my astonishment, the gentleman nearly jumped over his table in a burst of happiness.

“Finally!” he cheered “Finally someone who gets it!”

“My pleasure good sir.” I smiled.

He put on his hat after taking out the money and tipped it. “Tipping intensives.”

I could have sworn that his whole body started to vibrate slightly as he said that but I was dragged away by my roommate, towards the stage entrance. After a stagehand let us in, I went and fixed my gauntlet. Good thing I packed some superglue this morning. With my costume finally fixed, I examined the other participants. I noticed a good bunch of WoW characters including the typical fan service slut blood elves, a big sister from Bioshock and much to my delight even a few characters from Skullgirls. I spied one particular girl dressed up as Ms. Fortune and started smiling. I loved that thieving feline. Taking Vivi with me because she had the camera, I approached her and asked for a photo with her. Turned out she liked my costume and character too and gladly agreed.
Afterward that, the narrator appeared and we gathered around him. I knew the basic stuff he would tell us already but Vivi and “Ms. Fortune” were visibly nervous.

“Okay now friends, first of all, it’s great to see so many of you this year again. Now, this will be a simple show. You will enter the stage one at a time. You all have a minute to do some cool posing, show of your costume and generally elate the audience. The more applause you get, the better are your chances to win since this contest is all about ‘audience choice’. Okay now, get into line, I going to introduce the first of you. Good luck everyone.”

With that, he entered the stage and called out the first contestant. I was the fifth in the line, Vivi the sixth. ‘Ms. Fortune’ was the fourth. Judging after the deafening applause, she would be made the at least third place. Then it was my turn.

“And now, I present to you our next contestant. I´m sure you will recognize her for she is the mistress of minions, the darkness personified. Here is Sara Schneider, as rule sixty-three Overlord form Overlord II.” boomed the narrator’s voice through the mic.

With that, I strode out into the spotlight, my ‘Unleashed Beast’ casually resting on my shoulder, giving the crowd my best ‘evil glare’. Now, the extra price for the fluorescent contact lenses paid off, judging after the cheers. I stopped next to the narrator and started my routine. At first, I swung my mace in a wide arc in front of me before aiming for the killing blow. I had pestered Phil for weeks to help me build a sound and light system into my gauntlet of Dominance which could be triggered by a hidden switch near the base of my forefinger. Stepping towards the edge of the stage and looking at the audience, I raised my left hand high above, performing the gesture that would call back the minions in the game and pressed the switch. I doubted that more than the first rows would get it but instantly a LED illuminated the big gem and a speaker we had ripped out of a mini Bass Cube blared the unmistakable horn signal to call my minions.
The audience liked it and I basked in the applause they gave me. I was about to turn and leave the stage as suddenly the light from my gauntlet came back to life and with every second it shone brighter.
And brighter. It shone so bright, it hurts and no matter what, I was unable to turn it off. Also I was unable to take the gauntlet off for that matter. Or even move. My whole body was paralyzed.

The audience started to make a run for it.

I panicked.

Then, the wooden boards of the stage started to erode as a bright blue and white light poured out from underneath my feet. I remembered hearing Vivi shout my name as I began to sink into the floor. God, she sounded so afraid.

The last thing I saw before I was swallowed by the light was the gentleman with the Twi cane. He was standing alone in the empty front row, contently munching away at some cotton candy. He smiled at me, tipping his hat.

Then the boards of the stage closed above my head and I started falling, screaming.

Author's Note

Jupp. A HiE Fic.
And an Overlord, ehrm, Overlady on top.

Onward, to Glory!

EDIT: Yes I changed dark Celestias name from "Corona Blaze" to "Mourning Star". The first name was something of a placeholder until I found something better.

7. Enter the Draconid (Smut)

- 7. Enter the Draconid –

[Two weeks later]

Taking another swing at the practice dummy with Mayhem, I fought down the urge to cackle like a madwoman. Gnarl had been right about that I might be able to become somewhat resistant against my new blades side effect.

I wiped my forehead as I suddenly heard another women’s voice ring out //Yes! Look, Umbra, Overlady, whatever, I need your help here!//

"Da fuq?" I wondered, only to feel a slightly familiar pull at my very core "Oh, oh damn, oh damn..." I cursed as I ran over to where I had deposited my helmet during my training. Just as I reached it and managed to put it on, blue light erupted from underneath my feet and once again, I was whisked away.

As soon as the light faded and the minimal nausea faded, I looked around to see where I had ended up this time. Some sort of camp if the tents where a clue and…

Gah, a fight! I was summoned straight into a god damn fight. Now I know how Wade must have felt like at our first meeting.

"Yo!" I heard the same voice from my summon calling. Turning my head I saw a young woman (somewhere around my age I ventured a guess) with black hair and an somewhat familiar outfit consisting of a slightly tattered cloak, a taunt black top, short shorts, knee high sock thingies and some sort of Naruto-ish sandals evade some kind of magical blast that instantly covered the ground where she had stood in a thick layer of ice. I even managed to locate her attacker, a weird, white floating creature. Also there was a... a stallion, a damn anthro stallion present. The stallion looked weirdly familiar to me, like someone had mashed King Sombrero together with another pony. His horn was slightly curved, there where tiny fangs showing in his mouth and his eyes were glowing in an unhealthy color, just a bright cyan instead of green. That combined with a dark toned tux that reminded me somehow of Clan Ventrue would have made him rather imposing if I would not have felt something else that moment.

Once again I felt royally fucked. There where Anthro-Verses out there and I of course got a NormPony-Verse. Fun-fucking-tastic!

Drawing Mayhem, I closed the distance to the raven haired woman with a few leaps, listening to the voice of instinct and taking a position that allowed me to cover her right side. Right this moment I was internally thankful for Gnarl for sicking my lazy ass through all kinds of training regimes to increase my overall fitness and my reflexes. Not that I ever would tell him so.

"So, you called for my services yes?" I asked her in a chitchat tone, scanning our surroundings and searching for a nice spot of ley line to summon my Minions.

"Yeah," the woman by my side replied. It was then that I noticed the large purple wings on her back, black bone-like scales running along their spines (seriously, how could I have overlooked them until now?). "Kinda being attacked by Nightmare-infected ponies and Pokemon, so anything you could do to- get down!" She tackled me to the ground right before I saw a ball of swirling purple energy sail past where my head had once been. "God damn Froslass..."

Wait, what? Pokemon? Nightmare infected? Where the freaking fuck?<< My mind was tossed a nice curve ball, quite literal in form of a purple energy ball that missed my head just because I was tackled to the ground by my summoner. Sadly I had no chance to enjoy that because she jumped up again and blew a god damn stream of fire at a white, floating Pokemon. Talk about hot hn?

Well, at least that gave me a nice opportunity to inspect raven hairs backside. Juicy, juicy. :3

It was then when I again felt the by now familiar presence in my mind, the thrum of power. Getting back at my own feet, I noticed that the little bastard that tried to blast my head of was just evading the swath of flame unleashed on it. I knew that this was an opportunity to even the score with Floaty. Reaching into my Mana, I recalled my training sessions and hurled my own fiery projectile at the little bastard. I felt the corner of my lips tuck up in grim satisfaction as the Fireball hit it dead on and sent it on the ground in a miserable screeching heap. A well-deserved fate for anyone foolish enough that would try to attack me. After being sure that my victim would not get up again, I looked around to get a idea of how many more victims were waiting for me.

"Dude," the girl breathed, clearly out of breath from her attack. "That was brutal." She turned to where the stallion attacker once was, letting out a cry of surprise when a beam of black magic slammed into her. Thankfully, she managed to bring her wings around her just before it hit and a slight white glow coated her body when she did.

"He's the main target!" she cried, slowly getting pushed back by the stallion's continuous attack. "Try to take him alive, he's being controlled by the Nightmare!" With that, she rolled to the side, managing to disrupt the stallion's concentration enough that his attack flickered out, but he soon replaced it with another, which the girl took full-force to the back, crying out in pain
.
Hmm, from the looks of it the guy that was firing a black beam of death at my summoner seemed pretty powerful, I had to hand the stallion that. I could practically feel the dark magic ooze out of him, something the faint voice in my mind had taught me. This feeling was... strangely exhilarating, to say at least. That guy was someone worth of my attention and boy, was he going to get it.

My musings were broken by the pained cry of raven hair as she took a new dark beam to her back. Time to take action and show this amateur how to really make use of dark magic!

After I finally found a sufficient ley line, I reached out with my mind and the boiling well of dark magic deep within my soul. A portal popped out of the ground, yellow fog wafting out of it.

"Alright fucker, playtimes over!" I roared, the battle starting to affect me more noticeably as adrenalin poured into my system. The moment I finished my sentence, I send out the mental call and thirty five Brown Minions erupted out of their portal, clad in black cuirasses and sleek helmets that hid their faces, brandishing curved swords, axes and spears.

Pointing at the dark mage wannabe, I growled out "Minions, sick!" and with joyful battle cries my little warriors surged forward like a brown wave. He growled, sweeping his head round, the black beam following the motion of his horn.

"Fool!" he cried. "Insolent cur! You cannot defeat the power of Lord Darkrai! His shadow shall eclipse Equus, and all shall bow down to his glory!"

"There is only one shadow here and that is me!" I yelled and rushed towards the stallion together with my Minions, some of them getting caught in the dark laser and ending up as brownish skull clouds. "And I bow to no fucking one!"

Punctuating my statement I let my left hand snap out and unleashed a Corruption Burst at the ass that somehow became more and more familiar to me. The magical lightning did what I wanted it, acting as a flashy distraction for my target.

He was knocked to the side by a purple blur, disrupting his beam and allowing my minions to swarm him.

"Got ya now!" I smirked maliciously as I watched my Minions starting to pommel the stallion with the butts of their weapons or their fists.

Closing the distance to my prey, I grabbed his horn and yanked hard at it. "Now fuzzy, I am curious. Tell me, do you know what they call a unicorn without a horn?" I asked, casually raising my sword.

For a moment, his cyan eyes flickered, losing their glow as fear took over.

"Umbra, no!" I turned to see my summoner, a look of horror on her face. "He's under Darkrai's mind control, it's not his fault!"

"That’s why I am just going to cap his antenna." I deadpanned, tightening my grip on the stallions horn. "No more antenna, no more connection right?"

"No!" the stallion pleaded. "A unicorn's horn is everything! Even the tiniest missing part cuts off all connection to their magic resources!"

"Wait a minute..." My summoner came closer, kneeling down and staring into the stallion's eyes. "Who am I talking to right now?"

The stallion stared at her for a moment before sneering, trying to move away. "Ugh," he spat. "You again. What do you want, you disgusting creature? Come to assault me again?"

And like that, I socked him right in the face and brought the edge of Mayhem closer to his horn afterwards. "I would be careful buddy. You have two dangerous woman and a bunch of violence happy kobolds just waiting to shred you." I told him in a happy voice.

"As surprising as it may be," the woman chuckled, standing up and pushing her hands against the small of her back, bending over slightly, which gave me golden opportunity to steal a few lonely nights worth of stares at her glorious, plump D-Cups, "I'm glad he said that. Disgust, in this case, is better that death threats, because that means that Blueblood is somehow in control again."

Now it clicked as I heard the name. A slightly insane chuckle escaped my throat as I brought my face closer to Bluebloods. "Oh Bluey, its you? Why didn't you said so old chap? I would have snapped your horn right from the start. And maybe forced you to eat your weight in apple fritters."

"He couldn't have," my summoner stated. "Because when we were fighting, he wasn't Blueblood then. He was Bloodborne, his Nightmare version." She paused, crossing her arms and glaring at the stallion. "Don't know how he's himself right now, even if it is only in his head. Oh!" She turned to me, holding her hand out. "I'm Zinnia, by the way. Didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier."

Giving my Minions the mental command to keep Blueblood on the ground with a side order to slice his horn of should he try anything funny, I let go of his horn and stood up. Finally I got an opportunity to take my summoner Zinnia in for the first time. She was defs a right hottie, with her firm legs, the bountiful bust and her still gorgeous raven hair. I did the one thing other part of my mind told me to, I took my helmet off, gently took her hand and gave her my best smile. "Enchanté Zinna." I said before kissing her hand. "Umbra, at our service."

Zinnia giggled at my actions, taking her hand back and shooting me a lidded gaze. "Trust me," she said. "You don't need to act all romantic with me. I flirt with everyone, and many of them join me in the bedroom soon after. And I must say, I wouldn't mind a look under the rest of your armor. Especially if you're that cute everywhere else."

Ohohoo, score!<< I cheered internally as I took in what she just said. >>Okay, play it cool now girl!<<

"My, my, Zinnia. Well, I said I was at your service and I would be happy to oblige." I smiled before I glanced at old Blueballs that was still pinned under my Minions. "But before that, I think we should find a safe cell or something for Bluey here. And maybe you could give me a rough summary of what is going on here? Pokemon in an Anthro-Verse, that’s a new one to me."

"We're gonna need something to suppress his magic, too. If he loses control again, I don't want him getting away." She paused, looking around for a moment. "Dammit!" she shouted. "Bandito's gone, and so are Dash and Mac!"

"Bandito? Who´s that?"

"Sheriff Silverstar got 'Nightmared' by Darkrai, Bandito's his Nightmare name."

I resisted to urge to facepalm. "Ah, okay, makes sense I guess." Seriously, what the ever loving fuck was going on here? I didn't know much about Darkrai except that it was some kind of shadow-emo-sih Pokemon so why had Celestia not simply unleashed a Solar Flare upon him and... oh wait, nearly forgot that most Celestias were chronically incompetent when dealing with threats. "So, that guy went and nabbed Skittles and Big Red?"

Zinnia sighed, dragging a hand down her face. "It's probably more like he went after the Buffalo trying to escape and Dash went after him. Mac probably followed to make sure Dash didn't do anything..." she paused, and we both looked to the sky as a massive boom resounded, seeing a circle of rainbow light spreading across the sky. "Stupid... Dammit, Dash! Please tell me you have a magic suppressor or something, we need to go after them."

I enjoyed the light show with a big, fangirl smile before Zinnia broke me out of it. "Yes, I have an or something." With that, I shooed my Minions off Blueblood, pulled the surprised stallion up and delivered a solid punch to his stomach that made his eyes bulge out of his skull before he went down with a satisfying whimper, out like a light. "You four," I addressed four Browns "stay here and guard him." The kobolds saluted and I turned to Zinnia. "Ready to go when you are."

"How fast can you run?" Zinnia asked, spreading her wings and hovering off the ground. "Or can you fly?"

"No flight here and I can run in a decent pace. Compared to a pony, I am still slow I guess but I have stamina to make up for that." I conceded. Again, it seemed like Gnarls insistence to make me run laps like I got paid for it would turn out as a justified precaution. Damn walnut!

"Give me your hand, then." Zinnia said, a white glow appearing around her. When I did as asked, she hauled me up, carrying me bridal style as she shot off towards where the Rainboom had occurred. She glanced down at me with a smirk.

Hell! Zinnia was stronger than she looked, even though it might be some kind of magic if the glow around her was any indication. I had not seen any Mana vapors so I could not be sure. As she carried me through the air (and gave me plenty of opportunities to ogle her muffins from the corners of my eyes) I scanned the land under us. It sure looked like the prairies of the Mild West, endless planes of yellowish grass galore and I think I spied a railroad track somewhere.

"Say Zinnia, what do we have to except from Bandito? He's a good shot or something?" Gah, that name tasted almost as bad as Bloodborne.

"To be honest?" Zinnia replied, giving a sheepish grin. "No idea. We actually came here to investigate reports of ponies disappearing, so... yeah." She paused for a moment before looking down, catching me in the act of one of the (many) titty-glances I had been helping myself to, giving a sultry grin. "You know you only have to ask, right?" With that, she moved one of her arms from under my legs, somehow keeping a decent grip as she reached for the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and showing me her unrestrained breasts.

Ever sat in the subway and suddenly had that cute girl from the opposite seat flash you? That was how I felt right now. Every coherent thought crashed and I think a blood vessel in my nose popped as I was suddenly facing Zinnias unobstructed fun pillows! I felt myself blushing with a vengeance (or in my case, the areas of my face darkening like the light was absorbed as I had found out some morning after Onyx had surprised me in the shower). "W-well, yes, I wanted to save that for later, y´see..." My mouth began to water and I had to fight the urge not to attach myself to the delicious mammaries in front of me.

"Touch them..." she whispered.

My hand was already halfway to Zinnias right breast as I finally regained a smidgen of self-control. "I always wanted to join the Mile High Club, you know?" With that, I gently cupped the delectable bosom of the raven haired beauty, carefully fondling it. Last thing I wanted was to cause Zinnia a wingboner midflight.

"Well, I wouldn’t mind going that far later." She patted my hand, moving it away and pulling her shirt down, much to my dismay. "But for now, we're here."

I turned my head, seeing a massive crater in the ground, where a massive shroud of dark smog cut off any vision of what was happening within.

"Oh, shit..." Zinnia muttered, dropping quickly to the ground and placing me back on my feet. "Oh no!" She turned to me, desperation in her eyes. "We need to get in there! Nightmare Ponies can spread the Nightmare!"

Uh hu, shit had hit the fan pretty hard hn? "So, that stuff is basically Corruption slash pure Evil yes?" I asked, a whisper echoing in my mind, formulating a plan that resonated with the darker parts of my soul. "Because if so, I might be able to do something about it."

"I don't know what it is, but if it's Darkrai's thing, it might be weaponized nightmares."

"Okay, here's the plan. You make a fly by and drop me smack-dab in the center of that cloud. If this stuff is anything close to what I think it is, I can deal with it while you take care of the ponies. If the stuff is NOT what I think it is, than I can at least act as a decoy while you do your thing." I explained before grinning as I remembered a certain fact about Minions "And if everything goes to hell in a flaming handbasket, I still have my Minions."

Zinnia nodded, grabbing me and flying up above the cloud before spinning around, throwing me full-power at the center of the cloud, where I impacted heavily. Instantly, pain shot through my bones and tears shot in my eyes as I fought the urge to jump around in a vain attempt to soothe the pain. Instead I allowed my instinct to take over, brandishing my falchion and letting my Corruption spell came to life in my left hand, both to illuminate my surroundings and to appear intimidating. Dark glee spread through my veins as I tasted the foul magic in the air. Oh yes, I should be able to use this.

"Olly, olly oxen free. Ready or not, here I come~" I singsonged into the fumes, listening for steps. A wingbeat sounded behind me and I side-stepped just as a dark gray blur shot past, disappearing into the fog once more.

A flier eh?<< I thought as slowly stepped forward, my head panning around, searching for any evidence that could give away a target. Two targets, the corrupted Sherriff and now this flier too.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are~" I sang out, feeling the anticipation of combat and violence make my blood stir again. I did not have to wait long.

With enough force to shatter the bones of an ordinary mortal, something impacted heavily with the armor on my back, causing me to stumble. In retaliation, I twirled around and let go of the Corruption spell I had been holding the whole time, lifting the darkness for a brief moment before it settled back in.

From somewhere in the fog, I could hear raspy laughter.

"You're too slow!" the voice taunted, before the blur zipped past again.

Trying to pinpoint the voice, I reigned in the urge to fire a few Fireballs just for the heck of it. Switching for my ley sight for a second I noticed a good spot for a portal. Turning my back to the spot, I ignited another spell in my palm, this time a Fireball. "And you hit like a grandmother with rheumatism. Come on, I am sure you can do better than that... Dashie." I ventured a guess after the voice and the comment on my speed. I felt the hair on my neck stand on end and readied myself to open the portal and call my Minions in a moment’s notice.

"That's not my name!" the voice cried out before a grayscale version of Rainbow Dash with glowing cyan eyes landed in front of me. She held her arms out to her sides, a cocky smirk on her face. "I'm Shadow Blur now."

Gotcha!<< I smirked toothy as the corrupted Pegasus stood before me. "Well, at least your name is halfway decent, it doesn't make me wanna puke my guts out on the spot. Now Dashie, tell me, a Pegasus can handle clouds and lightning but how about some fire?" Immediately after finishing my sentence I hurled my spell. Much as I predicted, Shadow evaded the attack by flying back up, which sprung my trap. The Minion portal opened up and a geyser of Brown Minions shot in the air, intercepting the Pegasus' flight path.

"Gah!" she cried as they swarmed her before dropping like a stone. "Get off me!"

Chuckling sinisterly, I approached the fallen pony. "Sorry babe, you’re not my type. Hold her down boys, I think I'm gonna clip that birdies wings. Wouldn’t want her to cause us more trouble hm?" To underline my intentions, I swung my blade, relishing in the sound of the blade cutting through the air.

Shadow Blur's eyes bugged out before she threw her wings out beneath her, the force snapping the legs of the minions holding her arms down with an audible *crunch* and sending them crashing to the floor. She then shot up, bringing the feathered appendages round and slamming them against the sides of the last two's heads, knocking them out, before taking to the air again.

"Hell no!" she shouted, backing away. "You ain't stopping this flight any time soon! I'm outta here!"

With that, the grayed-out Pegasus turned tail and rocketed away. I stood there for a moment, just staring at the spot she'd been in moments ago, before a soft groaning filled my ears and I turned to see Big Macintosh lying prone, black mist flowing into his mouth and nose.

"Aw shit, not good." I muttered at both, seeing RD get away and the Fog seeping into Big Mac. I sheathed my blade and trudged over to the burly hunk of a stallion and kneeled down at his side.

"Alright, let´s show this fog who's boss!"

With that, I reached out with both hands and concentrated on the fumes surrounding me and flowing into Macintosh. Remembering how I absorbed the evil that once resided in Steel Fang, I reached out. I dug in the depths of my memories, recalling the manipulation in my Mana flow and how the condensed evil had permeated the flow that rushed back into me. Immediately I felt a hot sting that traveled from my palms through my arms and into my chest.

"AaaArrGHhh!" I howled through clenched teeth as the fog spiraled into my palms. I felt a dark presence mingling with my own and a new voice whispering in my ears, thin and sharp like a storm made of razor blades.

°°°

[Zinnias POV]

Zinnia flew circles around the mist dome, scanning the surface for any signs of Umbra. After a while, a gray blur shot past her close enough that she was knocked off course, spiraling to the ground. She watched the blur for a moment in shocked awe before snapping out of her stupor, growling in annoyance.

"First Luna, then Rainbow Dash?!" Her hand glowed orange for a moment, where she balled it into a fist and slammed it into the ground, creating a smaller crater. "Dammit Darkrai!!"

She turned back to the mist cloud, eyes widening as she saw it begin to shrink. The Draconid watched in awe until the cloud was small enough to reveal two figures: a prone Big Mac and a kneeling Umbra, the latter screaming bloody murder. Zinnia shot to her side, grabbing the woman by the shoulders and shaking her frantically.

"Umbra!" she shouted, staring into the dark-skinned woman's fear-filled eyes. "Umbra, snap out of it!"

°°°

[POV Umbra's Mind]

Alone.

I was alone and yet I was not alone. I was surrounded by darkness, but in this darkness there where figures, persons.

"Mom... Dad..." I croaked out miserably, reaching out for the figures of my mother and my father, but my hand passed right through the torturing close hand of my mother.

I had no substance. I was a shadow.

Stumbling I got up on my feet, trying to follow my parents but they zoomed away only to be replaced by another loved face.

Vivianne stood before me, her face adorned with the same stupid grin that a good workout gave her all the time.

"Vivi? Kitten? Hey... hey, it's me, Sara! I'm here!" I yelled, trying to grab her shoulders but again I met nothing as my roommate passed right through me. I whirled around and saw her standing with her boyfriend Phil.

"Phil, buddy! Am I glad to see you. Please Hoshi, tell me that you can hear me... please..." I started begging as I hurried over to them, seeing their lips moving as they talked without a single sound, looking happy and content before they too, vanished.

I felt tears starting to pour down my cheeks.

I turned to the next person. "Hey Kim... Kimmie..." I pleaded but the mechanic ignored me, tinkering with some electronics before vanishing.

"Jan..."

He vanished.

"Dominik? Ester?"

Gone. They were all gone.

All but one.

Leo stood right before me. Desperately, I crawled on all fours towards my little brother, bawling like a toddler.

"Leo... please *hick*... stay with me... please... *hick* don’t leave sis alone! Please... don’t leave me!" I babbled as my little brother just looked down to me. A small glimmer of hope sprung to life inside of me, but it didn't last long before the figure of Leo crushed it.

"I don't have a sister."

Those five words were enough to shatter my soul to pieces. Clutching my head with both hands, I let loose a primal cry of anguish, curling up into a fetal positon.

I cried and screamed into the darkness. Then, suddenly I felt another presence.

It was unlike the specters of my loved ones. This presence was old and it oozed distain for everything beside itself.

I felt the proximity of something near my ear and a powerful, yet deadly quiet voice whispered "Useless."

My head snapped up but I saw no one.

"Look at you." the voice said "What a pathetic waste of meat you are. You are gifted with powers most mortals have sold their souls to the devil for and yet here you are, reduced to a babbling heap of self pity, and by what? A mere speck of the true dark, a miniscule shred of the very power that you are supposed to be. Truly, I have chosen poorly."

"Who...?" I croaked out.

A hollow chuckle could be heard. "You don’t even recognize me? You really deserve this, all of it." And with that, the presence was gone. Now I was truly alone.

"Umbra!"

"Whu~?" Another voice? There was another voice? Umbra... who was that? The name... it sounded... familiar... Umbra...

"Hey demonette? Are you alright?" a black dragoness asked me worried. Onyx.

"Umbra! Snap out of it!"

"Yes, yes. That’s it Milady. Just like that!" Gnarl cheered as I managed my Fireball spell.

Zinnia!

My reddened eyes snapped open. Yes. Zinnia was calling me
.
"Umbra... my name is... Umbra..." I muttered. "Onyx... Gnarl... Norbert... Wade... Zinnia..." I recalled the names as they sprung back into my mind, filling me with a new way of dark. A warm, soothing dark that slowly chased away the fog that obstructed my mind.

A smile grew on my face as I exhaled all the remaining cold and the loneliness melting away.

"I am not alone."

And with that, there was light again. Light that chased away the fog until only a tiny pocket remained, which quickly pulled together until in vaguely resembled a humanoid figure wearing a flaring cloak. It soon solidified, revealing a black creature that looked like a large cloak with a red, tooth-like collar and billowing white hair. I glared at it with its single cyan eye, visibly shaking in anger.

"No!" he screeched, floating towards me. "No, you will not defeat me! You are pathetic, you are nothing!" He paused, getting right up in my face until all I could see was his furious blue eye. "And above all else, you! Are! ALONE!!!!"

Softly shaking my head, all I did was smile as the furious Pokemon screamed at me. "Maybe," I said "Maybe I am pathetic, but think about it. I managed to break out of your funk, effectively defeating your little mindfuck, so does this not makes you even more pathetic? I mean, I am a cowardly bitch that relies on cheap shots, Minion rushes and backstabbing but you? You're even lower, you need to use someone's primal fears to break them and that, buddy," I stared right back at Darkai. "You dared to disgrace the memories of my loved ones and with that, you just made it on top of my shit list!" I took a step forward. "And buddy, I am the fricken Overlady, the Ruler of the Netherworld, so here's a little appetizer for what's coming for you!" I struck out my right hand, grabbing his weird scarf thing and fueled by the renewed flame roaring in my breast, buried my left fist right into the Pokemons glowing eye, releasing a literal thunderstorm of magical lightning.

Darkrai exploded into a cloud of black mist, moving back before reforming again. I glared at him for a moment before I felt something. I wasn't sure what it was for a moment, but it soon became clear as an image of Zinnia faded in and placed it's hand on my cheek, slowly pulling me into a kiss. A wave of energy burst from the two of us, barreling into Darkrai and forcing him from my mind. The last thing I heard from him was, of course, the obligatory bad guy outro.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Geeze, so cliché!

°°°

[POV The waking World]

My eyes slowly opened, seeing Zinnia's face incredibly close to mine, and a familiar feeling on my lips. For a moment, I simply relished in the feeling of soft lips on my own, the warmth radiating from them before I gave Zinnias lower lip a playful nip. She gasped, pulling away with a lusty smile before shaking her head with a laugh.

"I know I said later," she chuckled, caressing my cheek. "But you'll have to wait a little longer, we've gotta get Mac to a doctor."

Giving her a pouty face, I admitted "Fair enough." and after a moment I added "You know, they always say that you can break the princess free from her curse with a kiss on the lips, but I always suspected they didn't necessarily mean the pair on the face."

"Well..." Zinnia said, moving over to the red stallion and gaining a brief white glow before picking him up, placing him on her back and being sure to keep her wings free. "I didn't really get to try the other way..."

I purred audibly at that before standing up. "Let´s get tall, red and hunky there to the Whitecoats. If I ever see a bit of prairie in the next few centuries, it will be early."

Zinnia smirked, winking at me as she held her arm out. "You want another lift?" she asked, bringing her hand to her breast and giving it a brief squeeze. Her shirt gained a small wet spot where her nipple was located. "There's in-flight drinks~"

Wat? I starred for a good second, steam wafting from my ears as I processed what I just saw. Zinnia was lactating which meant she was preggers and that meant... Giggedy!

"Kinky. How could I say no to such an offer?" I smiled and walked over to her, feeling warmth flowing to a certain part of my anatomy.

"Alright," she said with a smile, lifting the hem of her shirt up again. "Stand there for a second, I'm gonna need to do something to make this work with Mac on my back." With that, she bit down on the shirt before taking off, banking round and coming at me with both arms outstretched, Mac balancing on her back. I lined myself up, falling into her waiting arms just as she reached me.

"I'mma need you to hold on to Mac for me!" she yelled over the winds, letting her shirt fall over my head, and I just gave a thumbs up, having already latched on to one of leaking nipples that was swinging in front of my face. I reached around her back and found a grip on Mac before giving a playful nibble, causing Zinnia to let out a sharp gasp. "H-hey!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, careful not to completely let go of the sensitive flesh. "Couldn't help myself." Basking in the warmth under the shirt and Zinnias mommy juice dribbling in my mouth, this moment I decided that life was good for a chance.

I didn't catch much of the flight back, seeing as I was occupied. It as the moment we touched solid ground again and I was forced to part from Zinnia for the moment being that I realized how damn fast she must have flown. Supporting the still unconscious Macintosh, I looked around. We stood in Appleoosa, as sure as I still had mother milk staining the corners of my mouth.

"Right Zi, where's the hospital slash horse doctor? Big Red is starting to get heavy." No red cross in sight.

"Everyone should be in Town Hall, so that's where we'll start," She replied before giving her chest a quick shake, making the milk factories jiggle. "Now keep suckling, I'll deal with Mac."

"Yes ma´am." Obediently, I latched myself back onto Zinnia's enchanting breast and suckled away. Gods above, this stuff was addictive!

I saw Zinnia push through a set of saloon doors out of the corner of my eye, then heard her talking to someone, the angle I was at letting me see up a dark purple skirt, white fur and black, lacy panties greeting my view. A tug at Mac's body told me to let go, and I shifted my grip to Zinnia's shoulders as he was taken away. A moment later we were outside again, and when I looked around, I noticed that we were climbing into the sky.

"Sweet merciful Mother Mary!" I mumbled, feeling exhilaration and a bit of dread "Please tell me you do not get wingboners Zinnia."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Warning, incoming smut! If that is not your cup of tea, please skip to the next mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Nope," she breathed, and a second later I felt my eyes bug out as a perfect copy of the woman appeared opposite her, meaning she was behind me. "Pegasi only," they added, speaking in unison even as the copy began to work on removing my armor.

This is so fucking hot! Now I can remove three things from my bucket list at once. Maybe even four!<< I thought as I felt slim hands removing my gear, feeling my own stiffening nipples rubbing against the cloth of my tunic. Now I was actually glad that the constant lack of lingerie made me go commando, as it added only to the thrill. At the peripheral edge of my vision I noticed one of the Zinnias stash my chest plate away in a way to small bag but that thought was immediately drowned by the feeling of smooth fingers sliding under my shirt and greeting my perky B-Cups, electing a throaty moan from me.

The Zinnia holding me - the original - shifted her hold on me, bringing a hand under my ass and wrapping my legs around her mid-section before pulling me into a passionate kiss. Another double appeared behind her, somehow removing her clothes in a way that not only didn't disrupt us, but also didn't damage the clothes at all - as far as I can tell, that is. Now, Zinnia's ample D-cup breasts were rubbing against my own, a pair of hands separating them, but still allowing the nipples to slip between their fingers, letting them rub against each other in an amazing way.

I poured my pent up lust and passion into the kiss I shared with original Zinnia, hungrily nipping at her lower lip before releasing it. "You are so god damn hot Zi." I managed to breath out between gasps for air as I suddenly felt a draft and realized that I was now only wearing an extremely horny smile, miles above Terra Firma and surrounded by an incredibly hot, pregnant MILF and her copies, which only added fuel to the fire that was burning in my nethers. I let out a mix of a purr and a growl and pushed my tongue between Zinnia's lips, testing the water for a more passionate (and my favorite) way of kissing.

Zinnia hummed in delight, smiling around my lips as she leaned back, resting my weight on herself and freeing her hands to start exploring my body. She ran her hands up my arms, squeezing my shoulders for a moment before moving down my front, pressing against my abs before wrapping back around my waist. I let out a slight chuckle as she sunk her fingers into my firm ass, kneading the flesh and letting out a happy moan. She shifted again, rolling us over in the air and I panicked lightly until I felt myself being laid on the soft, naked flesh of one of Zinnia's copies, my head resting between her breasts as she brought her hands around to fondle my chest. The original grinned at me before sinking below my line of sight, two more taking her place and moving up until they had latched onto a nipple each, nipping and sucking on them.

Shuddering in delight, I let out a soft coo. I always had loved it to have my breasts and my nipples played with. That coupled with the fact that I was serviced by several smoking hot woman at once nearly brought me to climax already but I managed to hold up.

The Zinnia I was lying on began nibbling on my earlobe, making me moan out loudly. I swear I could feel all of the Zinnias smirking like Cheshire Cats but I was far too drunk on the amazing experience to care about that. My hands wandered over the heads of the Zinnias playing with my nipples, gently roaming through their silky, black hair, down their necks to finally rest on their subtle butt-cheeks, which I immediately began to grope and fondle with as much dedication as I could muster.

Really, it was harder than it might seemed not to turn the switch into selfish-mode when you are sandwiched between beautiful, horny woman.

The Zinnia nibbling my earlobe now began to work on my neck, alternating between peppering it with Butterfly kisses and biting me. I especially leaned into the bites and moaned my consent. "More... please... " I managed to beg huskily, feeling all three of the clones servicing me chuckle briefly, sending an electric pleasure up my spine at the sensation.

The two Zinnia's sucking my breasts shifted, moving away from my lower body and leaving it open. I looked down, seeing the original Zinnia rising from below my nethers like some heavenly goddess of sex. In her hand, she held what appeared to be a long, purple dildo, long and thick, covered in veins. She smirked at me, lining it up with herself and sliding it in with a moan. I watched in awe as a purple light shone from the dildo, blinding me for a moment, and when I could see again I felt my eyes bug out.

Again.

There, hanging below Zinnia's thick thighs, was a massive, throbbing dick. A glob of pre dripped from the tip, dropping to the earth below.

"Whad'ya think?" Zinnia asked, reaching down and stroking her new member lovingly. "Gift from a friend. A magic dildo, tuned to my body, that turns into a real dick when I want it too. I can adjust the length, too, so if this isn't enough for you..."

Staring transfixed on the length of pulsating meat protruding from Zinnias crotch, I all but managed to whimper in anticipation. "Ruin me..."

"Whatever you say~" she sang, lining herself up before pushing the tip in slowly, stretching me out. I groaned at the feeling, leaning my head back into the Zinnia below me before turning and kissing her breast. Zinnia stayed there for a moment, letting me adjust, before slamming the rest of her length into me, making my eyes roll back and my tongue loll out of my mouth. This was absolute heaven!
Another Zinnia appeared above my vision, staring down at me with a grin and stroking another throbbing meat pole, though hers was slightly shorter. "Wanna taste?" she asked, lining the tip up with my mouth.

"Yes, please...." I breathed before wrapping my lips around her tip, gently swirling my tongue around and over the sensitive meat.

"Oooh, yeeaah…" Zinnia, both of them, groaned.

Wow, I really missed that. I hadn't realized just how needy I had been as I felt Zinnia stretch my inner walls with her throbbing meat stick while I applied any little trick I had learned in my life to the Zinnia I was servicing with my mouth. Stretching my neck forward a bit, I practically begged her to stick her hot meat into my throat already and thankfully, after teasing me for a while, she complied and slowly slid the whole length of hers into my waiting mouth, giving me enough time to adjust.

After I got used to the hot meat filling my mouth, I got to work. I began bobbing my head, letting my tongue wander all over the dicks surface, exploring every vein and every millimeter of skin. After a while, I decided to up my game and began to push Zinnias dick deeper into my throat, matching the rhythm of Zinnia pounding my eager love tunnel with her impressive tool.

It felt so divine, being stretched in two places at the same time.

"Oh, sweet Arceus!" the Zinnia in my mouth cried out, and I felt her cock shudder and swell as her thrusts became more erratic. "I-I'm gonna cum!"

Already?<< I fastened my pace in hopes to signal the Zinnia in my mouth that she could let go, to fill my stomach with warm, gooey goodness.

"I know what you're thinking," the original grunted, and when I managed to catch a glimpse of her, I had to do a double-take. There were three more clones flying around her, two of which were sporting large, throbbing cocks. One was behind her, plowing her in the ass, and another was floating by her face, saliva and cum dripping from her cock. The third was underneath the Zinnia suckling on my left nipple, eating her out while the original fingered her! The original called my attention back to her, cum dripping down her chin. "But the clones only have a quarter of my stamina, so expect a lot of cream fillings."

All I managed was a happy moan, sending vibrations through the cock that was busy stuffing my throat. That sent it’s owner over the edge and soon after, a series of large, powerful pulses sent load after load of sweet, delicious cum down my throat.

My eyes rolled back in my head as I felt the hot spurts down my throat and a faint smile stole itself onto my lips as I felt the warmth pool in my stomach. I swallowed each and every single one and as soon as the clone Zinnia was finished, I diligently licked her still pretty hard dick clean of every last bit of the delicious mix that was my saliva and her cum. Surprisingly, the clone, who's cock was still deep in my throat, flickered out of existence shortly after, though her cum stayed in my belly, warming me from within.

Licking my lips, I managed to turn my hazy eyes at the original Zinnia "Been too damn long... give it to me, all of it." I brought out, mesmerized from the show I was getting. The bouncing of Zinnias full breasts, the synchronized pants and moans from all of her doubles and the smell of sweat and other bodily fluids.

"You want it all?" I nodded at her, and she gained a massive, lust-filled grin. "Then take it all!"

Before my eyes, five more Zinnia clones appeared, each one with a massive, throbbing dick. One moved to my mouth, taking the place of the previous clone and roughly hilting herself in my throat. Another straddled my chest, the two clones still suckling on my nipples shifting to press the modest mounds around the shaft as much as possible before she started thrusting. Two more moved to either side of me, guiding my hands onto their shafts before I starting stroking them. And the final, glorious clone flew underneath me, lining up with my back door before slowly, purposefully sliding herself in.

I groaned loudly around the cock in my throat, tightening my grip on the shafts in my hands and speeding up. The girl on my chest chuckled, pushing herself further into my cleavage and groaning. The one in my ass began to pull out, stopping when only her tip was still inside before slamming powerfully back in, timing herself with the original so that when one pulled out, the other thrusted in.

That was it, I could feel myself reach my peak as I was pounded from three different (okay, four if one would count the titty-fuck) directions. Frantically I pumped the Zinnias dicks I were giving hand jobs, feeling my love tunnel tighten up in an attempt to finally get all the cum out of the dick stretching me to my limits. I groaned, moaned and with utmost guaranty made a many other noises more befitting an animal in heat but I didn't care. I could end up stark white for all I cared. The only thing (or things) that mattered now was Zinnia and her relentless pounding that turned me into mush.

"Dammit, how long have you been dry?" Zinnia asked, panting slightly. "You're tighter than Blueblood's wallet down here!"

"Hu´hn h´ear (one year)..." I managed to garble out with a mouth full of thick meat, being flooded and splattered with cum from five angles not long after. The clones faded away, leaving their mark and freeing up space for another five to take their places.

Gods almighty, this was almost like making up for all that time on a dry spell all at once. Not that I complained. Zinnia knew exactly how to hit all the sweet spots, plus this whole scenario managed to satisfy more than one of my more unusual kinks, so win-win.

I let out a loud groan as the Zinnia going to town on my ass thrust into me with more vigor than before.

I felt my mind swimming away in an ocean of sweat, pussy juice and cum and I would not send out the coast guard. A girl could get used to this, even though I was so walking funny after this for a while. But that was totally worth it.

A lone voice in my head was wondering about birth control pills and if they were available in colorful horsey land but that voice was collectively moaned into submission.

Once again, cum filled my throat and ass, more of Zinnia's sweet clone sauce splattering on my chin and chest, splashing on the nipple sucking clone's faces. By now, you could barely see any skin in those areas and when these clones disappeared in those areas, and when the clones faded away I took the opportunity to scoop some into my mouth, spreading the rest across my skin.

"I-I'm starting to get close, Umbra!" Original Zinnia stammered, sweat pouring down her face and milk leaking freely from her nipples.

"Z-Zi..." I muttered, reaching out and taking some milk onto my finger before sucking it off. "W-what about... can I..."

"Get pregnant?"

I nodded, reaching out for the most recent clone-dicks and taking another into my mouth again.

"No, magic cum. You'll only get pregnant if both of us want it, and I'm already expecting baby number two."

My eyes widened at that. Already baby number two? Dayum gurl and your bod is still smokin´!

"I know what you're thinking," she chuckled. "Stryker, my son, is actually adopted."

Ho~kay, that explained th... this moment my train of thought derailed as my whole body began to tense up in preparation for the mother of all orgasms, leaving me in quite a frenzy of sucking, stroking and bucking my hips. Sitting was going to hurt for weeks, in all the right ways! Each of the shafts pleasuring me and that I was pleasuring began throbbing even more, every Zinnia speeding up, getting more desperate in their thrusts. The two on my nipples bit down, pulling back and stretching my breasts out in the best way, while the one I lay on reach around, pinching and rubbing at my clit.

"C~cummiiiiiiiiiiing!" the Zinnias cried out in unison, and I spasmed with each and every spurt of the white gold that filled or covered my body.

By the beards of every divine being in existence, never in my whole life until now had I felt like this. Full to the brim, warm, satisfied beyond every scale, stretched out and not to mention the several dozen little tingles all over my body where knowing hands and mouths had worked their magic.

As I finally managed to gather enough energy again, I leaned up to Zinnia, put my arms around her shoulders, my somehow numb legs around her hips and gave her a sloppy, long kiss.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! End of the smut !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Wow Zi... just... wow..." I breathed into her ear "now that.... is what I call the Mile High Club."

"Y-yeah..." she replied, before her eyes widened suddenly. "Wait... I'm... not flapping my wings..."

"Oh crud..." How could she have missed THAT?!?

Without warning, Zinnia lurched forward, wrapping her arms and wings around me before a green bubble of energy erupted from her core. Flames built up around our shell, and it was only now that I realized that Zinnia's continuous, lust-fueled wing beats had carried us almost into the atmosphere.

We slammed into the ground roughly a mile from Appleoosa's border, the impact leaving a huge crater and kicking up an even bigger cloud of dust. Amazingly, the bubble didn't even crack, it just rippled slightly.

The moment I got my feelings reigned back in from the shock of plummeting through a planet’s atmosphere again I immediately sprung to my feet and checked up on Zinnia, suppressing the urge to bitch slap her for endangering her unborn child.

"Zi, are you ok?"

"Umbra, honey, I'm fine," she assured me, waving off my concerns. "Trust me, I can take more than that. I'm Half-Pokemon, after all. Taking beatings is what we do and our wombs are built like bomb shelters."

"Ah, that would explain the wings." I said more to myself before flicking Zinnias nose with my index finger "Still doesn't mean you should, especially while you are caring a passenger!" I pointed at her belly. "I swear, if you weren´t so damn hot, I would spank you right now for being so careless!"

"One: you know you wanna do it anyway," she said, grinning at me. "And two: the father is a Jotun, from Norse myth. I've been hammered off my tits since getting pregnant with the knowledge that the majority of what his kind drinks is alcoholic."

"Ehrm, well, sure but... Wait, the dads a freaking ice giant? Oh please tell me it's not Loki! Even worse, his dad what's-his-face."

"Nope, a Displaced named Jason Hughs." She sighed happily, patting her stomach. "And he certainly is giant."

Sighing, I sat down next to Zinnia and did what I always did after ruining the sheets; I cuddled with my partner. "He sounds like a great guy, 'specially if he is okay with his girl sleeping with others. I mean, open relationships can bite you in the ass pretty hard."

"Oh, I'm not his girl," Zinnia chuckled. "He's happily married to his world's versions of Rarity and Chrysalis. His grandma, Hel, said he'd need to pork someone other than them, though, otherwise the Jotuns would go extinct, and I just happened to be present." She gained a goofy grin, lying back in the crater and wrapping an arm around my back, giving my breast a squeeze. "Let me tell you, horns? Not just good for magic."

"Hehe and here I thought I would only meet the crazy people," I snickered. "I can hardly imagine what a family meeting with this guy must be like."

"I've only met his wives and grandma so far, but I do look forward to the next reunion." She paused, staring into the distance for a moment. "Y'know, I'm sure he said something about the Apples inviting themselves into his family after his Omnitrix took a scan of them. Come to think of it, that's how our first meeting went. Huh."

"Omnitrix? Like, in Ben Ten? That Omnitrix?" I asked curiously.

"Yep. He wasn't displaced as a Jotun, he actually is one."

"Wow, either the Merchant is a bigger wankwipe than I thought or... I dunno... hehe, wow... the whole fact that Jotun are real still baffles me."

"Multiverse, my dear. Everything's real." She smiled down at me, pulling my head across to rest on her breast. "And I've never met the Merchant, I was displaced by a sexy philipino girl that I ate out the night before."

"I know about the Multiverse theory, I just sometimes forget about all the possibilities." I said, eying the inviting breast in front of me "And again, dayum gurl, you sure know how to get lucky. I prefer asian girls though."

"Sex drive of Dibella herself."

"Better than that of Liondrielle, that one caused the split-up and all-out war between Morai, Arborim and Sidhe."

"Y'know, there's a Max from Life is Strange too," Zinnia mused.

"Isn't that the thing with the photos?"

"Yep, she can turn back time a limited amount. And she has a spell that gives her a horsecock." A glob of clear liquid flicked onto her cheek. "Huh, all this talk of sexcapades has made me hard again."

"Oh my." I gave my best George Takei. "You are really blessed or cursed by a sex goddess hn?"

"Blessed." She nodded, looking thoughtful. "Definitely blessed."

I gave a thoughtful hum and traced circles around Zinnias belly button with my index finger. "Wee~ell, looks like I'm here for a while, so how about we get us a nice bed in town, all the kinky props we can get our hands on and then we remedy that big problem of yours?" I offered, licking my lips.

"Why wait? I don’t plan to get dressed anyway."

Giving that statement a moment of thought, I simply shrugged, straddled Zinnia so that her throbbing errection sat snuggly between my butt-cheeks and grabbed both of her breasts, kneading them. "Solid argumentation my dear Zi." and latched onto her right nipple, starting to suckle her milk again. I did not know for how long I would still be in this Verse but Hell and back again, I was planning to use it to the fullest!

"Ooh, why does that feel so good?”

"Because yer a damn perv Zi." I chuckled between deep sips from her fun bags.

Yep, life was defs good for a chance!

Author's Note

No regrets, NEVER!!!

A crossover with The Emerald Nightingales Delta Guardian.

23. "Sayonara, auf Wiedersehen and Goodbye."

- 23. "Sayonara, auf Wiedersehen and Goodbye." -

[3rd Person POV]

Dawn broke once again across Haven's Peak, carrying a bracing chill. Even then in the early hours of the morning, the evidence of last night's revelries stood as a testament to the Havenites' celebrations. Tables, tankards, banners and plates and chairs and many more items lay haphazardly about, as did a fair few numbers of ponies who had passed out from intoxication, obliviously huddled next to each other. Umbra's Minions were even more scattered and ended up in the oddest of places such as random closets, sticking upright down in empty barrels, at the top of the bell tower sleeping by a rather ferocious looking timberwolf and sawing logs below ponies' beds.

But despite the serene atmosphere, Ganondorf prowled with intent through the streets, the normally ever present Twilight by his side now absent. The little mare had been infinitely grateful that Ganondorf had spared her brother's life and though Ganondorf himself had come to rely rather heavily on Twilight, he allowed her to keep company to her brother in the cells of Haven's Peak. Of course, killing Shining Armor would be wasteful. Sure, it would send a powerful message to Celestia and the Equestrian forces a measure of Ganondorf's capabilities but the Captain would be of so much more use alive than dead.

The stallion was stubborn and held on to his ideals. That was fine. Ganondorf was patient if nothing else. For the moment, he had one task to attend to. He silently made his way to Jackie's cabin to check in on the girl. Ganondorf did not appreciate having to sneak in on a place that rightfully belonged to him, but despite the festivities of last night, Umbra's fury and hatred of him remained strong. To be in the same presence as her and Jackie would be... unwise.

As he neared the single cabin that the girl was situated in, the Gerudo lord found himself slightly surprised and annoyed at the same time as he found Umbra right beside the door. The woman was sitting in a tailor's seat, leaning against the wall of the cabin. A empty jug was still clutched in her hand and a strand of drool was streaming down her chin, dripping on the mane of some of his own guards Ganon failed to name on the spot, the pony in question sleeping soundly on Umbra´s lap. A few meters away, another duo of his servants, Gumball and Summer Breeze, snored in unison with a gaggle of Umbra´s own lackeys piled on top of them.

He focused particularly on the demoness. She lay slumped, unprotected, completely open to attack. Sloppy. Ganondorf's lip curled in distaste and approached the woman. He placed his hand over her head, channeling a subtle form of magic. A safety measure to ensure she wouldn't wake unless something short of a tornado swept through the town.

As he entered Jackie's room, he could see the young girl was already awake.

"Uh... morning," she said, clearly not expecting Ganondorf to come in.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Still sore in some places. That little turd did a number on my back." She winced and unconsciously moved her shoulder blades, where Shining Armor had stabbed her.

"Are you in pain?"

"Discomfort more than anything and my body's numb in weird places. Freaking pony medicine..." She trailed off. "Where's Umbra?"

"Sleeping outside, with some of my guards." Jackie's face morphed into a grimace of disgust. How curious.

"Oh god..." She moaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I thought she was trying to be funny with Pandora but I never thought..." She shuddered in disgust. "I need a shower."

Ganondorf quirked an eyebrow, but didn't pry. "So," he began. "I assume that you and Umbra will go back to her universe soon, am I correct?"

"Looks like it," Jackie replied. Ganondorf continued eyeing her speculatively. "What?"

"What Shining Armor did to you should never have happened. His presence was not something I anticipated in your skirmish," Ganondorf stated in the same monotone he normally employed, though an undercurrent of hesitation could be heard, if just barely.

"Is this your way of saying you're sorry? And here I thought you didn't have a heart," the young girl remarked as she reached for a glass of water atop the nightstand. She drank greedily, trickles flowing down either side of her mouth. "Don’t know what's in that medicine of theirs but it makes me thirsty as hell," she muttered and wiped her mouth. "So, Shining Armor? That's the little bastard that did... this?" She pointed to herself. Ganondorf nodded. "Umbra told me they tried to come in and invade the village, but you lot beat them good. Is that Shining prick dead?" She asked, her eyes narrowed.

"No. He is of more use to me alive." As he expected, Jackie did not like his answer. Her cheeks colored and indignation quickly overcame her features. "Let me explain."

The girl looked like she so wanted to do otherwise, but gritted her teeth. "Explain what?"

"Shining Armor will be mine, he just doesn't know it yet. His sister is my loyal servant and he will follow in turn. Wouldn't you say that serving the individual he hates the most and helping bring down the country he loves is a worse punishment than death?"

"Sister?"

"Twilight."

Jackie's eyes widened. "The little princess is that bastard's sister?" She erupted in a fit of giggles. "Oh, man, small world after all. Fine, keep him. It'll drive them both crazy, I just know it," she said with certainty.

"I am glad you see it that way," Ganondorf said. "But there is another matter I wanted to discuss with you." At her questioning look, he continued. "I will be frank with you. I would hope you not go back with Umbra. You'd have a place here in Haven's Peak."

Jackie was taken aback, clearly not expecting this. "Yeah... call me crazy, but I really don’t wanna be a servant to you for the rest of my life."

"That is not what I meant. But no matter, I can see that Umbra wouldn't allow such an action. If she thought I tried to coerce you into staying, she'd..."

"Rip you a new asshole?" Jackie helped, grinning. Ganondorf followed suit.

"Indeed. She's not very fond of me, it seems."

"Umbra's cool, but she's too much a pony lover, I'll admit. She can't see things won’t always be rosy with them."

"Which leads me to my next issue. When I asked you, you said Umbra did not so much as instruct you in use of your abilities, save for that illusion spell, correct?"

"Well, no."

"Then I would like to make a proposal. This war will not end anytime soon. The empire and the Equestrians are in this for the long haul. I expect by the time it is over, millions of lives will be claimed by the warring factions. That is why I wanted to make a deal with you."

"What kind of deal?" Jackie asked warily.

"Umbra has a twisted view of the world. She would expect you and me are capable of living amongst the ponies and it is for this very reason that she will not instruct you in the proper use of your powers. Granted, she may let you in on something every now and then but these will be lessons that she deems 'appropriate' for you. Should you stay with her, you will never learn, never reach your true capabilities. You admitted to me that the ponies and us will never be able to truly exist peacefully and because of that, it is inevitable that you will have to defend yourself and Umbra from those who would do you harm. That is why I will be willing to show you how to properly harness your abilities to their full potential."

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Jackie said, holding her palms up. "You? Teach me? How? Even if I said yes, you're still a universe away and it's not like you have tokens or whatever. Not to mention Umbra would totally flip if you start doing the whole Palpatine thing. Her words, not mine," she said after a moment.

From within his pocket, Ganondorf retrieved what looked to be a piece of... chalk? "I took this from Umbra just yesterday during the festivities. Do you know what it is?" He handed Jackie the stick, the young girl looking at it closely.

"It's her dimension door chalk."

"Correct. By using this, you'll be able to open a portal yourself and come here, no matter where you may be. Umbra will be none the wiser and you will learn to properly handle your magic."

"In exchange for what?"

"A favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"That remains to be seen."

Jackie sighed. "What? Come on, speak straight."

"Like I said. I will help you better understand your powers in exchange for a favor. Whatever I ask of you in the future, you will help me, no questions asked."

"A blank check," she stated, eyeing Ganondorf warily.

"For all intents and purposes, yes."

Jackie sighed. On one hand, she couldn’t deny Ganondorf was wrong. Umbra's blue eyed notions that all ponies were relatively harmless nuisances would come to bite them both in the ass eventually and like Ganondorf said, Jackie didn't expect Umbra to teach her how to pull off lethal, destructive or otherwise harmful moves. Ganondorf, on the other hand, had no qualms about it. He held a more pragmatic, ruthless view of things, so far from Umbra's and Jackie couldn't deny he would prove a very apt and knowledgeable instructor in such matters.

Ganondorf watched this play out across Jackie's face. He didn't need to be able to read minds to see the young girl was clearly conflicted, carefully weighing her options.

"If I am to do this," she said after a length of time. "To write you a blank check and help with your schemes or whatnot, then I wanna get my money's worth. I don’t know what you have planned, but I know you're a crafty bastard. Whatever it is you've got in mind for me ain't gonna be as small as infiltrating an enemy camp, right?" Ganondorf remained silent. "No, you got something bigger in mind, don’t you, big guy? Fine, I agree. I'll do whatever favor you ask, but some piddly little lessons ain't gonna be enough. You want me to write you a blank check? Fine. Then I want as big a payment in return."

In spite of himself, Ganondorf couldn't help but smile. "Name your price."

°°°

[Umbra´s POV]

Waking up after a night of partying and drinking was usually not a pleasant thing. Usually, the morning after came with a dry mouth, one smelled of cigarette smoke and booze, more often than not pieces of rather intimate clothing were amiss which had ended up on lampposts or ceiling fans, a nasty hangover was digging through one's skull and if things went especially south, one awoke after a night of drunken, unprotected sex with a total stranger. Or several.

I groaned miserably as I squinted at the morning sun sending her merciless rays through the patchy cloud cover.

"Urgh, what the frikk do these horses put into their drinks?" I garbled as I shoved a still snoring pony from my lap. "I feel like that one time back in Poland, when we drunk straight from the distillery."

After regaining my plump line, I patted myself down and to my relief, felt that everything was still where it belonged. Looking around, I noticed that most of the settlement seemed to be in a similar state as myself. A few early risers already had begun to clean up or poking sleeping ponies awake with varying success, for most party goers simply grumbled something and turned around to continue sleeping. The prone forms of my Minions littered the place too and for a second, I considered yanking them from sleep's embrace as rudely as possible so that they would share in my own misery. Ultimately however, I decided against it since it would mean I had to concentrate to an amount that was simply unachievable right now.

Instead, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and turned to see if Jackie was up and better already. If I was honest with myself, I could not get home soon enough. The more distance she brought between that Ganon and my little friend, the better. That jackass could go straight to hell and sit on a burning coal until it would start to snow for all I cared.

Stepping over my equine cuddle buddy, I cracked open the door, slipping inside as silently as a massive suit of armor allowed one to. "Jackie? You awake yet girl?" But to my surprise, the room was empty.

The room didn't look disturbed by any means. Jackie's bed lay haphazardly made, but that was to be expected. Her clothes were no longer in the small cabinet beside the bed and the gown she'd been outfitted into was now on the floor. Looks like she'd waken up and gone on before I had woken up.

Stretching and cracking my joints, I now blearily shambled to the inn of the small village. Jackie could sure put away the food, which she hadn’t been allowed for almost a full day, so I figured the young girl would first go and look for sustenance. I wasn't disappointed.

There in the inn sat Jackie, eating what looked to be porridge and some sunny side up eggs lathered in a creamy gravy of some kind and even more surprisingly, Twilight sat not too far. I wasn't too sure what happened between the two, but from what I gathered, Jackie and Twi were not on friendly terms with each other.

As I approached the small table, my heavy footsteps alerted the two girls to her presence.

"Heya squirt," I groaned and sat down, pulling a nearby pitcher of water to herself and drank deeply from it, splashing the remains all over my face. Twilight scootched away, fearing to get wet.

"Long night last night?" Jackie remarked, eyeing the proceedings with mild amusement.

"I feel like there's a pack of pissed off Yorkie dogs pulling my brain apart piece by piece but other than that, peachy. Hey, where's the chef? I need something for this headache." Sure enough, a pony came in, serving the trio a pot of admittedly aromatic coffee, which I poured and downed eagerly. "Ahh, that's the ticket!” I sighed.

Grabbing a nearby muffin, I ate ravenously, the more sedate and mannered Twilight looking on with mild disapproval. "So hey, I was thinking that since Ganonprick doesn't need us anymore, we'll be going on home soon enough. Got this feeling in my gut that we´ll be porting back anytime now. Won’t that be nice, eh, Jackie girl? Dunno about you, but I've had my fill of this universe and its resident douchebag to last me a lifetime. No offense, Sparklebutt."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "None taken. It's not the most hospitable of places, I'm sure." The trio of us ate silently, neither feeling much like making conversation. "But you know, it wasn't always this way," Twilight said after a minute of silent chewing. "Equestria used to be a beautiful place. Peaceful, with none of these wars, suffering or conflict. Tell me, Umbra. The Equestria you come from, has Sombra risen?"

I chewed slowly, not sure how to go about this. The Twilight I knew and the one next to me on the table were very different ponies. The Twilight I knew had lived a happy, fulfilling life. She'd managed to attend Celestia's school, hatched a dragon egg from which she was gifted with a lifelong friend and fulfilled a life and destiny far grander than the little mare next to me could hope to achieve.

"Not yet, I guess. Back again, I mean. Timeline is kinda jumbled from what I could learn." I chewed my way through a fried egg I liberated from Jackie´s plate, ignoring my friend's protests. "He rose to power after he killed the princess of the Crystal Empire by turning her into a crystal herself and shattering her to a million pieces. After he drove the Empire nearly into the ground with his dark obsessions, Celestia and Luna confronted him, but just as they were about to finish him, he cast one last spell, a curse or something. Took the whole Empire with him as his essence was sealed into a glacier. One thousand years later, the Empire reappeared, Sombra with it but this time, a group of young heroines showed up and ended the tyrant by means of a love powered artifact, leaving only his crooked horn behind. The crystal ponies were free now and a long lost descendant of the original crystal princess came to be their loving ruler." I gave Twilight an apologetic shrug. "At least that is the way I know it is supposed to go. Maybe it happened back home already, maybe not. Like I told ya earlier, each 'what if", each 'maybe' creates a different timeline."

Twilight nodded and looked down at her plate, her features ponderous.

"It's gotta be hard for you, ain't it, Twilight?" I said, sympathetically. "Out of all the universes you could be born in, you get the one where your country's at war. Well, hopefully this whole thing will blow over eventually. Power of friendship and all."

"Power of Friendship?" Twilight said, the words sounding strange to her.

"Yepp, and if that does not work, there is always peace through superior firepower." I nodded.

"You mean assuming Ganondorf doesn’t win and dominate them both." Jackie commented.

"Can we not talk about that rat´s arse? At least until my hangover is gone?" I groaned.

"What? It could happen."

"You´re right, girl," I admitted. "As I see it right now, Ganonprick has a seventy-something percent chance of world domination with all his tactics, new weapons and the surprise on his side, unless Celestia goes all Nightmare Star on him and chars him into a soot stain. That´s what I mean with 'peace through superior firepower'. Pax imperialis and all that jazz." I addressed Twilight again. "So what's your take, Sparklebutt? Who do you put your money on to win?"

Twilight's eye twitched, as did the corner of her lips. "I am not qualified enough to make such a hypothesis."

"So guess." I replied.

Twilight sighed. "Sombra has the technological edge where the war is concerned. His troops are fiercer and more brutal than Celestia's and are able to fight for longer periods than the Equestrians. Sombra also can conscript and brainwash prisoners of war to do his bidding. But while he has these advantages, Celestia is a better tactician and with centuries' experience in matters of war. She knows a head on assault against Sombra will result in her ponies' defeat. She has, however, managed to outflank and outmaneuver him on several occasions and with her ponies' technological industry catching up to Sombra's she will be able to fight him on more equal terms eventually."

"And Ganondorf?" Jackie asked. Twilight contemplated this.

"Ganondorf has no army. His force is small, less than a thousand, yet he has managed to slip past both imperial and Equestrian forces during his stay here. We've engaged imperials in small skirmishes but yesterday was the first day we faced a full-fledged army. Though he doesn’t have the forces of the empire or Equestria, he is more than capable of surviving against them both."

"Come on, princess. Get to the bottom of it. Think he'll win?"

Twilight pursed her lips, but reluctantly continued. "As I said, Ganondorf's forces are too small for him to have any hope of winning this war. But should he manage to rally a sufficiently large army... I think he'd have a chance."

"Well, don’t worry Sparklebutt, luck always favors the bold, stupid or children," I said. "Fingers crossed that prick spends the rest of his miserable life in Tartarus. He wouldn't make a good ruler anyway. Well, maybe better than Sombra but only that much." To demonstrate, I pinched my fingers together until they nearly met. Twilight looked on with doubt. "What, you don’t agree?" I said, a little surprised.

"Ganondorf..." Twilight licked her lips. "He is as bad as Sombra in many ways. He will use, manipulate and blackmail others to achieve his goals. He will kill those who would challenge him without a second thought and he has no qualm pitting ponies against each other. But..."

"But what?"

"But he is a more apt leader than even Celestia in some ways. I'm not excusing his actions but if it wasn't for him, me and other ponies would have been dead weeks ago. Yes, he conscripts ponies against their will. Yes, he implants a portion of his dark magic in their minds, but he repays our loyalty with his own. There have been many times when enemy forces almost succeeded in killing us, or overtook our own. Ganondorf could have left us to fend for ourselves. He could have ordered us to sacrifice our lives in exchange to buy him time to escape, but he didn't. He takes care of us and takes his responsibilities as our leader seriously. Even here, in Haven's Peak he could have abandoned us to be slaughtered, but he didn't. He may have conscripted us, but we wouldn´t be healthy and alive if not for him."

Gritting my razor sharp teeth, a growl from the depth of my core escaped my lips. "Okay, I get it, it is a smaller of two evils scenario for you. Still feel like shivving him."

"You're too hard on the guy," Jackie commented. "He's more of a realist, is all."

"That has nothing to do with it," I snapped back, only to catch myself. "Okay, almost nothing. I just can´t smell him and that means something. I normally... oh!"

Both Twilight and Jackie quirked an eyebrow as my mood made a one-eighty. Taking a firm hold on my friend's hand, I waved a two fingered salute to Twilight.

"Well, wadda ya know, time to go back home," I exclaimed cheerfully to a befuddled Twilight. "Sayonara, auf Wiedersehen and goodbye. Hang in there Twi, you´ve got a good head on those purple shoulders." And before the confused mare could utter another word, both myself and Jackie vanished in a flash of blue-whitish light.

°°°

[3rd Person POV]

Twilight shook her head. Honestly, Umbra could be so random at times. Their departure was somewhat less climactic than Twilight would have imagined. She half expected to see a void of arcane energies to suddenly spring from existence.

Well, good riddance, Twilight thought. She definitely wouldn't be missing Jacqueline and the sooner the young human left Haven’s Peak the better. With the duo now gone, Twilight made her way out the inn and into Ganondorf’s research laboratories in the mines. She was one of the few ponies whose magical signature was keyed in to the wards protecting the underground chambers.

“Well?” he said expectantly.

“They’re gone, both of them.”

“And the device?”

Twilight withdrew from her pocket a small, rectangular contraption, grey and plain save for two knobs and a small counter framed by glass. “It's as you said it would happen,” the mare said as she levitated the device to Ganondorf’s outstretched palm. “The readings picked up a strange sort of energy when Umbra got near. They increased exponentially the longer Umbra stayed within range of it, going well off the charts as they went back to her universe.”

She regarded Ganondorf with a wary expression, and the Gerudo lord picked up on it. "What's wrong?"

Twilight opened her mouth, but paused, thinking better of it. She licked her lips nervously. "What do you plan to do, Ganon?"

"What makes you think I want to do anything?"

Twilight frowned slightly. "You didn't have me stick close to Jacqueline and get these readings for nothing. You're scheming something right now," she said with certainty. Ganondorf's silence on the matter further strengthened her suspicion. "For Celestia's sake, don't tell me you're planning to involve yourself in all this... world traveling nonsense."

Ganondorf's lip curled ever so slightly in the ghost of a grin. "I would think a pony such as you would be interested in such an endeavor."

"I would. I am. It's just... is this really the time for that? We've just handed Celestia and the Royal Guard the worst defeat they've suffered in the last two years. Her sights will almost certainly be set on us, not to mention Sombra's. Some of the enemy managed to escape the slaughter and soon enough, all of Equestria will be aware of you and what you've done. Is wasting your attention on this multiverse nonsense really the smart thing to do right now? We should be focusing on our next move and strengthen the fortifications around Haven's Peak. Additional ponypower will be needed as well, not to mention that with the ponies of Ourtown, our food supplies will last us only a few weeks longer at most. We need to secure a perimeter at the base of the mountain and get ponies to grow fruits and vegetables since the pastures here are inadequate to grow enough food for everypony and..."

"I am well aware of these pressing concerns, Twilight."

"Then please, don’t waste your time on this world traveling business. The ponies here need you."

Ganondorf's lip curled into a smirk. "Who said anything about traveling to other worlds?"

"What? But you... what do you intend to do, then?"

"Observe, of course. From Umbra's pendant I sensed a strange magical signature. Jacqueline allowed me to study it for a while and from it, I was able to glimpse the means by which to open up passages to other worlds."

"Are you saying you can travel to other worlds?" Twilight asked incredulously.

"Even that is far beyond my abilities, at the moment, no. I will need to study and research this far more extensively before being able to accomplish such a feat. I can, however, do something with the information I already have."

"And that is?"

"To see these other worlds. Or at least, to observe our guests for the past two days."

"To observe the events of another world..." Twilight breathed in wonderment. "How? Even if you now have a semblance of understanding how to breach dimensional barriers, it's a big world out there, not to mention universe. How will you know what to look for? To do that, you'd need to be able to use something as a focal point, something pertaining to what you wish to observe, otherwise you'd be doing the equivalent of choosing different spots and hope for the best."

"You are correct," Ganondorf said, pleased the little mare was able to pick up quickly on such matters. She really did have a remarkable mind. The large Gerudo walked to a nearby metallic container, wide and cylindrical in nature. He placed his palm at the top for a moment, channeling his own brand of magic. A portion of the contraption then rose from the center with a fain whir, expelling cold, billowing clouds of vapor across the small room.

Ganondorf then stepped aside. Twilight blinked owlishly but stepped forward, peering amidst the thick clouds of vapor to see four large vials within the machine's protrusions, filled with a viscous red liquid.

"So you see now," Ganondorf said after a few beats of silence. "Within their blood lies their own unique signature. This will be the focal point by which I will find them across the reach of the universe."

Twilight watched the vials in fascination, her heartbeat picking up considerably. So simple, yet so brilliant. When Ganondorf ordered her to take samples from Umbra and Jackie while they were unconscious, she couldn't fathom why he would want blood of all things. She entertained brief musings involving a dark ritual of some sort but this was beyond anything she could have imagined. By using the blood and the unique magical signature within it as a focal point, Ganondorf would be able to find the human and demoness wherever they may be. Of course, the applications beyond this were extraordinary. To see another world, a parallel mirror of her own. What would be different? What would be the same. Would the war even exist?

Twilight gulped, straining to pull her mind back to the present. "Fascinating..." She whispered. "What will you do with this? Will you use it to travel to their worlds?"

"No. For now, we stand back and watch."

°°°

[Umbra´s POV]

"Haha, home sweet fluffing home!" I exclaimed as the teleport flash died down, the weird dimensional magic having dropped me and Jackie right in front of the main gate of my tower. Again.

Normally, that would have been a dampener on my mood but just because I was not in Ganon´s Verse anymore rendered that notion moot. After all, it was a nice day in this part of the Badlands.

The sun was shining overhead, a few clouds lazily floated over the vast sky and a chunk of black stone easily the size of a house was sailing straight for the two diverse friends.

Wait, what?

"Move it!" I yelled, jumping into Jackie and pushed the surprised squeaking girl away from the lethal impact that gouged a massive crater into the ramp leading up to the tower's gate, showering both of us in sharp stone shards.

"What in the name of...?!" I scrambled upright, eyeing the house-sized stone with wide eyes. "Well, that's a hell of a homecoming." I muttered while Jackie boggled at the rock in bewilderment.

"Did we miss something while we were away?"

"You know squirt, that just might be it," I agreed, but in that moment, an earth rending shriek blasted through the air, so loud that we both had to clamp a hand to our ears. "Seriously, what the hell is going on?!" I demanded to no one in particular and opened a connection with Gnarl.

<<Gnarl, we just returned and almost got pasted by a massive rock that looks like someone ripped out a part of my tower! Did you start a fucking war while I was away?>> I 'yelled' over the mental connection.

<<In the whole three hours your Ladyship has been absent? I may be competent but that goes even over my abilities,>> promptly came the snarked answer. <<No Milady, for that you can thank the massive flamethrower that showed up just moments ago and... oh dear, watch out Milady, here it comes!>>

I had not the time to ask for specifics as another roar reverberated through the air and a truly massive shadow blotted out the sun. Seconds later, the ground quaked, rattling the bones of every living creature in a one kilometer radius like maracas. Looking up, I suddenly understood the meaning of 'shitting bricks'.

A dragon, easily as tall as my very tower loomed over us. Scales as dark as a moonless night covered the monolithic body, only interrupted by a granite grey underbelly. Massive horns curved upwards from a head that looked like a sperm whale would look like a salmon in it´s jaws, gouts of dark red fire lancing from the spaces between the truly intimidating teeth. Golden eyes with slitted pupils so thin they looked almost nonexistent bore down on the small creatures before the beast, wings larger than sails on a warship casting a shadow that choked out hope and light alike.

"Uzgrolein. Zu'u rund hi ahst jok! [The anomaly. I found you at least!]" The dragon boomed, the sheer force of the voice crashing into soft bodies like a shockwave. Slowly, the creature bent its head down towards the tiny frames to its claws.

I stared, my limbs frozen in primal fear. I stared up to the massive beast, no, the force of nature that loomed over us. Every instinct, no matter how deeply buried in my mind begged me to run, to flee, to crawl into some hole and never show my face again. Through this, I only faintly noticed that my pants were sopping wet by now. I could barely make out Jackie, whom I hugged close to her to the point of constricting her breath and squirmed against my iron grip.

"Rodraan hinmaar, wah dir. [Prepare yourself, to die.]" The voice of the beast rang like a death-bell of titans as the hellish red glow in its maw began to intensify as a flame unmatched in this plane of existence rose from deep within the dragon's belly.

This was it, I was sure. I would die once again, but given that dragonfire always had some magical properties, I would probably not come back. That in itself took second place however over the guilt that Jackie, sweet little Jackie would die alongside me.

I did the only thing her terror stricken mind allowed me to. I closed my arms around the quivering body of my friend, pushing her head against my bosom to avert her view from her impending doom and closed my eyes myself.

The heat grew to blistering levels.

Any moment now.

But then, another voice, not nearly as dominating as the titanic dragon's cut through the air. A voice I knew well very well.

"Monah, saraan! [Mother, wait!]"

The heat almost instantly died down.

"Mon dii? Fos... druv los hi het? [Daughter mine? What... why are you here?]" The voice of the giant dragon boomed, a hint of disbelief audible in it.

Cracking one eye open, I nearly cried out in part joy, part concern. Right there, protectively in front of myself and Jaqueline hovered Onyx, the dragoness' wings beating a furious staccato to keep her aloft and in the line of fire right in front of the leagues taller dragon's maw. To my unending surprise and gratitude, I now noticed that my draconic friend had taken an aggressive stance, arms outstretched, tail whipping around behind her.

"Zey? Fos los dreh het? Paakmey zey ko teyn do dii fahdon! [Me? What are you doing here? You're embarrassing me in front of my friends!]" Onyx shot back.

I couldn’t make out the strange yet familiar dragons' language, but whatever Onyx said, seemed to slightly annoy the Godzilla sized monster.

"Friends?" The massive draconid peered at the two minuscule humans, slipping into Equuish or English or whatever one liked to call it, as well as lowering its volume to more bearable levels. "These creatures are your friends?"

"Yes, mom, they are. And what´s more, the black one gave her hoard to me!"

"WHAT?!?" The obvious elder dragoness roared, causing a rockslide to go down on the surrounding mountains before she leveled her burning glare at me who was cowering at this point. "Dreh dii mon tinvaak vahzen? Lost hi krilon wah kroved dii fariik sogaal? [Does my daughter speak the truth? Have you dared to defile my precious gem?]" the dragoness roared, making one ground pounding step forward but once again, Onyx thankfully intercepted her mother.

"Monah! [Mother!]" Onyx yelled, snorting her own blue fire "They do not understand our tongue! And Umbra has never laid as much as a claw on me! She doesn´t even know of our rites and traditions but not only saved my life but gave her hoard to me by her free will and out of pure intentions!"

The massive dragon growled and, before either party could react, her form shrunk down, much to the amazement of Jackie and me and where before stood a Godzilla sized draconid, Onyx's mother was now reduced to a good ten meters in height. Which was still a lot.

From above her, Onyx fluttered to the ground. "Explain, young wyrmling," the dragoness commanded, her words still as imperial as when she was a walking mountain moments prior.

And so Onyx regaled her mother with the tale of how she and I came to meet, starting with Onyx shamefully admitting she'd been captured by a pony of all things, how they'd stumbled across me, how the I had freed Onyx from the clutches of the ponies and became friends, with me inviting Onyx to share my home and hoard. By the end of it, Onyx's mother was doing a good impersonation of an exasperated parent, rubbing her temples with both claws, eyes closed and muttering frustrated curses under her breath.

"E-excuse me...ehrm, ma´am," a small voice said, my own, now able to speak for the first time, still shaken at the near death. "What is your name, if you please? S-so that I can address you proper."

The still massive dragoness stared at the fidgeting form of me, as if complementing something connected with dragonfire and mortal flesh. Finally, her lips curled upwards, showing off her fangs. "Demotha. The mortal races call me Demotha, little pusojur [insect]."

I licked my lips and now registered a very uncomfortable warmth in my trousers. Fighting down the embarrassment, I straightened up and addressed the dragoness proper. "Oh, great Demotha, queen of dragons, why did you attack my tower and myself? Have my Minions or I offended you in some way? If so, then I really, really apologize. Whatever it was, it won’t happen again."

Demotha snorted. "You? I have no interest in you, child. It is your companion I am after." she said, peering over at Jackie.

"Jackie?" I blinked dumbfounded. "Why her? What did you do, girl?" Said girl simply shrugged helplessly, clearly confused at the proceedings.

"I'll tell you what," Demotha said. "Your friend there, miniscule as her stature may be, she still harbors inside her sil, or soul, as you would say it, a force so unnatural, so keiz..."

"That means revolting, by the way." Onyx supplied.

"Yes, daughter mine, so revolting that the sheer will of the planet itself refuses her existence."

"What?" Both I and Jackie uttered at same time.

Baring her fangs again slightly, Demotha continued "Yes. Despite what you young species believe, our world has indeed a consciousness and a will of its own. All the lu, the magic and the laas fus, the life force of all living creatures flows back into the everlasting flame that first gave life to this world. All the emotions, memories and all that an individual has amassed in its life merges with the condensed mass of all those before them. From this, the planet gained a consciousness and a will of its own."

"Forgive my impertinence, oh mightiest dragoness, but what does this have to do with Jaqueline?" I questioned, giving my damnedest to sound submissive. Unknown to me, Gnarl had been listening through every word via his mental link with me and promptly admonished me for showing submission against this foe, claiming I disgraced myself, my Minions and other such blatherings until I had enough and commanded some nearby Minions to pummel the old walnut into paste. An order the kobolds happily obeyed.

"Ah, the groveling of mortals, so refreshing," Demotha smiled "I feel for that, I shall regale you. Now, have you noticed strange occurrences over the last weeks or days? At first seemingly harmless accidents, like tripping down a stair only for these occurrences to grow more lethal to the point that it seemed like someone was out for her life?"

"Yes?"

"Well, that is because it was exactly that. For you see, the world itself tried to rid itself of this child, much like a body acts against an illness. For her very presence warps the fabric of reality itself, although in such subtle ways one might easily miss it even when looking for it. Your... Jaqueline is like an infested barb in the flesh of this plane and after every attempt to remove her failed, it fell upon me to do the deed of ridding the world of her. Even now, I feel a primal pull at my very core, urging me to simply annihilate her with a gout of flame or devour her."

From the corner of my eye, I could see Jackie twitch in indignation and no sooner was the unruly girl about to say something that would no doubt fatally anger the draconid, that my hand snaked across the back of the girl's neck and roughly pulled her down. "I will not have any of your attitude right now, brat, ya hear?!" I hissed. "There's a time to be snarky and a time to bow down and now is one of those times, so shut your pie hole and behave like normal girl, you hear me?" Without waiting for an answer, I let go and addressed Demotha again.

"I had no idea. Please, great dragoness, forgive my little friend. She had no idea her presence in this world was so unwelcome. But killing her is a step too far. Can we not settle this in peaceful terms? Return Jackie to her own plane?"

Demotha looked thoughtful while Jackie tensed beside me. "Her very presence is a cancer on this world. But if she were to go back, the problem would go away. Yes, child. This would be an acceptable course of action."

"Is anyone gonna ask me what I want?" Jackie piped up indignantly.

"Girl," I placed my hand atop my friend's shoulder and sighed. "I don't like this anymore than you do, but it's either go back home or become a crispy roasted critter."

"And a snack, even though a pitiful one." Demotha muttered.

"Mom!" Onyx flared up.

"That being said," I continued. "How would we even go about this? Jackie ain't no normal Displaced, as we dimensional wanderers call ourselves. She didn't use a token and so we can’t send her back that way, so how...?" I trailed off, in thought. "Couldn’t you help us in this, Demotha, ma'am? Surely you know a thing or two about this whole business."

"Pray tell, you speak of 'tokens' and 'sending'. This sounds like the magic art of summoning to me." Onyx mother inquired.

Rubbing my head nervously, I nodded. "In a sense, yes. Tokens are small objects imbued with a part of our essence, used to summon the owner into the user's universe. Through that token, one can send a Displaced back, too. I hope that makes sense to you, ma´am."

"More than you might think," Demotha nodded, her tail whipping around behind her. "These tokens sound like anchors to me, something used to open a tunnel or gateway. Summoners can use any object with a strong enough connection to him or her to open such a gateway."

Mulling over these words, I chewed my lip carefully. A personal item could be an anchor, a fix point to open a gateway. Something soaked in my essence, something that had been close to a person, very close. Maybe something like an article of clothing? Or...

"My helmet!" I exclaimed suddenly, startling Jackie with my outburst. "Remember, girl? When the portal pulled us over onto my world, I dropped my helmet. It's still there, in your universe, probably just lying in the ground."

"And do you think you could make a gateway via this?" Demotha asked.

"Well... maybe? I mean, I can make portals easy enough and I used the Beast itself to open a gateway close to it, so... yes. Maybe."

"Congratulations, little one," Demotha said drolly. "Looks like you get to live another day."

"But," I said. "I've never tried to open a gateway to another world. That's on a whole other level than anything I've done before."

"Are you saying you can't do it?" Demotha asked.

"Hey now, none of that. It will be tough, and it'll probably take me a while, but I'm sure it can happen." I licked my lips and addressed the great dragoness again. "So, Demotha, ma'am. I know you are driven to restore balance and whatnot, but could you find it in your heart to give me a few days to try and open another portal? I'll get this little one back home, I promise, I just need some time. Can we have that, at least?"

Demotha eyed the two of us speculatively, but if the expression on her face was any indication, she didn't thought too highly of this idea. She shared a glance with her daughter, the younger dragoness giving her a stern look. "Very well," Demotha growled. "You have three days to try and send this little creature of yours where she belongs. I suggest you spend your time wisely."

With that, Demotha unfurled her wings and with a mighty flap that sent both Jackie and me to the ground, took to the skies, with a speed rivaling that of the sonic rainboom effortlessly.

"Well, that went well," Onyx commented, having dug in her claws to keep from being knocked to the ground. "By the way, you owe me for this one, both of you." she said smugly.

"Thanks, Onyx." I mumbled miserably.

[...]

The next three days were spent under the heavy shadow of the ultimatum issued by the dragoness Demotha.

I spent almost every waking moment brooding in my arcane lab, trying to make heads or tails out of the delicate process behind breaching barriers between dimensions to get Jackie safe back home before either my part of the Multiverse or Onyx's mother would end her young life. After the first day had not yielded any progress at all, I had commanded my loyal lackey Lyra back to the tower and sent her to dig up all tomes even remotely helpful from the vast evil library inside the tower.

Jackie for her part had been in a sullen mood ever since, barely talking to anyone, either myself on the rare occasion I left the study to eat a bite in order not to faint on the spot from exhaustion or Onyx or even the odd Minion for that matter. The young girl had spent her time mostly in the room issued to her by myself earlier, lost in her own thoughts behind closed doors.

When Lyra arrived via a Minion escort, I sequestered her in the arcane lab and the pony hadn't been seen outside since, having her meals brought in per my orders as the we pooled our heads together to try and come up with a way to open a portal between two dimensions. No small feat to say the least.

I succeeded in teleporting close to the Beast's location because the mace itself was forged from the Arcanium smelter, itself used by countless Overlords before me and so the armor and materials borne from it, and the other smelters such as the Durium, or even the often overlooked but always trusty Steel had been infused with the essence of the Overlord itself. It was by this tenuous but stable connection that I managed to locate my Beast and retrieve it.

However, in order to open a doorway to Jackie's own dimension, I had to get in touch with the very distant signature of my helmet's essence, which lay a universe away. This was not something I could merely concentrate on and achieve, and so I commanded Gnarl and Lyra to pore over my vast collection of books inherited together with my tower. Sure enough, Lyra herself proposed a solution.

Long before my time existed an Overlord, the Conqueror, who had set to devise a plan on how he would be able to not only find other realms of reality but also reach them safely after he successfully became the supreme ruler of all lands in his time. The first parts read like the typical dark ritual, involving a lot of candles, a complex array of mystical runes drawn on the floor and the sacrifice of at least one regular human's worth of life energy to fuel the portal. That part made me feel ever so slightly squeamish, but with the return of Demotha looming on the horizon, I decided that I had to do what I had to do, reservations be damned.

And so everything was prepared. Lyra, with her proven understanding of rune work was tasked with the runic array, together with Gnarl and to everyone's surprise, Norbert too. The Death Minion just showed up during the preparations, presenting me with two glowing, yellow soul orbs. When questioned of how he knew that souls where needed here, he simply answered with, "a reaper knows such things," and left it at that.

The runes prepared and the candles lit, I took my position on the designated spot, my left feet on a rune resembling the letter alpha and my right on one resembling the letter omega, my body meant to act as a conduit for the ritual as well as supplementing the magical spark to start.

"Forces from beyond the veil, heed my call. I command you to tear open the fabric of reality for I wish to set to the stars and conquer the very heavens themselves!" I droned out, trying to give my voice the ominous quality the spellbook clearly demanded (it was written in bold and underlined three times), as I felt the runes flare to life and started to sink their metaphorical teeth into my mana reservoir.

In the background, exactly one dozen Minions dressed up in the traditional garbs of nuns gave their very best to present a nameless yet crucial dance to guide the untamed arcana swelling in the room and guarantee the success of the ritual. The hopelessly oversized clothes in combination with the kobolds' very own brand of erratic energy all but managed to make it look like a dance routine taken from the fever dreams of the great Monty Python.

The candles' flames suddenly began to burn thrice as intensely, which signaled for Lyra in her hastily appointed role as second-in-command ritualist to gently float the two soul orbs into the glowing circle at Norbert's behest. The souls had not made it a steps length into the runic array as an eerie wind began to blow from everywhere, carrying with it the faint moans of the damned or otherwise eternally suffering. Within a heart's beat, the souls flared to life like twin stars, briefly banishing every shadow from the ritual chamber, forcing everyone to close their eyes, lest they wished to risk blindness or vaporized eyeballs.

"Did... did it work?" Lyra croaked from the sidelines.

"Don´t know." I answered, rubbing my eyes one last time before taking a peek. Indeed, the ritual had been an marvelous success, for right there, in the middle of the circle, just a few centimeters above the ground was now a shimmering and wavering tear in the very fabric of space itself.

The portal in itself was without any sound. No ominous humming emanated from it nor produced it the sound of a breaking mirror as it opened up and most importantly, no hellish beast from the darkest reaches flooded the tower, ready to slaughter the fools who unwittingly invited them in. It just was.

"Well, that was underwhelming." I muttered, skeptically eying my work.

"Master, how do we know that this is a portal to the right place?" Lyra inquired from underneath her getup's hood.

Just at this moment, something shot out of the portal. It was a small, fast blur and before someone could have reacted, impacted with my precious mug with a wet crunching sound, sending me sprawled on my back, yelling profanities in pain.

"There is your answer, pony," Gnarl said with a sour undertone as he neared the object, having to rely on a walker made out of an adventurous mixture of bones and crooked wood, held together by sloppily hammered nails, rat guts and a lot of faith in lieu of the beating he had been subjected to three days prior. "Ah yes, this is clearly the Evil Glare, her Ladyship's most trusted helmet. Can´t you see the finesse that has been involved crafting it? The love for the detail? The induced urge to empty your bladder and babble like an incoherent madman under its baleful glare?" The old Minion lectured as he slowly bent down and retrieved the headgear, dusting it off with the hem of his cape.

"Okay, so my helmet is back, but what tells us that it was not just pulled here by some freak chance?" I grunted as I took the helmet from Gnarl and put it back on my head. It fit like a glove and for some reason, I now felt whole again.

At his liege's query, Gnarl rubbed his wrinkly face ponderously. "Why, we could of course just send someone to go and see if it is the right place beyond that portal, Milady. After all, from what we know, your little acquaintance hails from a rather unique world, does she not? I am sure, it would not take long to verify your success Milady. I vote that we send the Unicorn to test the waters, as they say."

"What? Tartarus no!" Lyra bristled.

"It is not as you have much to say in this, you squishy gluebag," Gnarl retorted snidely. "It is only fair for her Ladyship's most useless slave to embark on this quest. Should you die for whatever reason, there is no real loss on our side."

"I show you useless, you damn rat licker!" Lyra growled, lighting up her horn and taking a battle stance.

"Enough! Stop this, both of you!" My presence ended the potential fight before it could break out. Lyra was lifted by her scruff and Gnarl by his collar. "I just tore open time and space and feel a bit thin skinned so if you want to start a fight, be prepared for me to crack your damn skulls open, ya?" I growled, giving the equine and the minion each a hearty shake before dumping them unceremoniously back to the hard stone floor. "But Gnarl is not entirely wrong. We should only send someone through this thing who would be no real loss should something go south."

Gnarl´s face lit up at that while Lyra´s fell.

"So in that light, someone hand me a rope!" I demanded and a Minion quickly handed me the demanded good. From where the little beastie got a sizable length of rope so fast, I decided to ignore for the sake of my own sanity.

Lyra huddled down on the floor like a scolded puppy as I loomed over her, rope in hand. "M-master, please... don´t..." She squeaked terrified.

"Don´t what? Don´t tie this rope around Gnarl and kick his wrinkly ass through this potentially lethal portal into the unknown?" I asked as I proceeded to secure the rope around Gnarl's person, ignoring my adviser's loud protesting. The wrinkled old walnut flailed and so two Browns were summoned to slug him in the kidneys and hold him down as I fastened the rope around him. Meanwhile Lyra looked on with relief and a nastily vindictive grin spread across her muzzle as the lecherous gremlin got his due.

Neither she or Gnarl had gotten along, and that was putting it mildly. Ever since the little mare had become the my newest thrall, Gnarl had been insecure about his position as my most faithful servant and so had made it his mission in life to make Lyra's stay as miserable as possible. He had itching powder put in her bed in the little room I gave her for when she stayed in the tower, commanded rats to flow from her basin and toilet (a very unpleasant surprise, especially early in the morning) and even went so far as to issue thinly veiled threats to the unwitting little mare.

Of course, Lyra didn't take this lying down for long and reacted appropriately. One day, when Gnarl ordered his daily breakfast of squished insects, rat liver and fungi, he had been presented with a very delicious and nutritious fruit salad, a little honey drizzled in; a steaming bowl of porridge laced with flower petals and a blueberry muffin to top it off. Such delicious, hippie fare would likely kill the evil little gremlin, that is, after his stomach exploded. Enchanted suits of armor had come alive as Gnarl hobbled past, poking him with their sharp spears in his sensitive parts or entrapping him in their hollow confines for hours on end. It was only due to my intervention that stopped such incidents from devolving into real violence.

"Ach, quit being such a pussy, Gnarl. Even if you die, Norbert can just pull you out of the soul river without any lasting harm. Like you said, it would be no loss at all. If anything, you would be one probably interesting death experience richer."

The dazed Gnarl mumbled incoherently as his two younger brethren hoisted him over their heads and carried him to the silent portal.

"Alright Gnarl, thank you for volunteering to boldly go where no Minion has gone before. I´m sure you will do me and the whole Minionity proud. Throw him in boys." I declared cheerfully.

Gnarl just had enough time to utter a last yelp before he vanished into the surface of the portal like a pebble in a pond, only the rope leading into the portal an indication that something had happened.

"Master, ah," Lyra began. "If Gnarl really does get eaten or something, is it really necessary to bring him back? With me at your side, you won't need that skeevy old walnut anymore and I promise, with Celestia as my witness, I'll never say mean things about you behind your back, or boast implied on how I'll overthrow you one day, not like him."

A vein pulsed in my temple. "For the moment, yeah, Harpbutt. That lecherous little geezer's more use to me alive than dead. But who knows, I might just have a position for 'most faithful lackey' opening soon." That he'd been plotting behind his mistress' back was left unsaid but then again, I already had such an inkling about the treasonous walnut.

We waited patiently for any sign or indication that Gnarl had died by some means and when, to Lyra's dismay, the old Minion had tugged the rope three times, he was promptly hauled back.

"Still alive, huh?" I remarked as Gnarl was unceremoniously dropped. "So how about it, Gnarl? Is it Jackie's universe or what?"

Slowly, the old Minion stood, cracking his joints in a very repulsive fashion. "I cannot say, my Lady, but I can tell you it is very much safe. The portal took me inside a closed space, itself moving and rattling with every bump in the road. I believe it was the inside of a train."

I mulled this over. Did a pony come across my helmet during this time? Gnarl didn't say anything about seeing anyone else and if the portal really did open inside a moving train, that would only mean it was heading for civilization and due to the unusual state of Jackie's world, it'd be for the best she appeared somewhere out of sight. Wherever the girl might be, she had to leave and the sooner the better. "Fine, I'll let Jackie know," I said, a hint of dejection creeping into my features. "Gnarl, get this cleaned up. Lyra, when this is done, go back to Ponyville and keep your cover. Make whatever story you need for you being here so suddenly. And let me know if there are any changes with the portal, I gotta go get that girl." I muttered, already on my way out.

[...]

I walked with purpose through the halls of the tower, searching for my wayward friend. I hadn't seen much of Jackie since Demotha's ultimatum, instead having focused my attention and energy on solving the dilemma presented before me. Only now did I realize Jackie would be going back shortly, and who knows when, or if, we´d see each other again. I felt a cold pit of dread form in my stomach. The two of us had minutes, maybe an hour or so before the Jackie would go on home and instead of making the most out of these three days, I had been ignoring my friend completely, so absorbed in my own work.

I sent a mental command to my Minions, to be on the lookout for Jackie and inform me of her location. That hundreds of kobolds populated the tower made the task all the easier and now I approached the doors to my throne room. Sure enough, there was Jackie, standing before my throne, hands clasped behind her back, her gaze fixed on my seat of power, an unusually ponderous, introspective look in her face.

She looked up as my footsteps heralded my arrival. I stopped short, unsure how to begin. Jackie's face remained oddly blank as she met my eyes.

"You got your helmet back," she said after a short span of time. I blinked, not realizing I was still wearing my headgear.

"Oh, this old thing?" I removed it, holding it in my hands. "Yeah, gotta hand it to Lyra. That manic little mare sure outdid herself. Gotta think of a suitable reward for her," I rambled on. Jackie didn't answer and I fidgeted uneasily.

"So there's no way around it, huh? I gotta go back," she said it with a hint of finality. “I assume the portal opened?"

"It did. I sent Gnarl in, to make sure it was safe. He made it sound like the place was inside a moving train. Guess someone came across my helmet and planned to make off with it." I licked my lips. "Look, girl, I know you don’t wanna go back... hell, I don’t want you to go back, but you see why it's gotta be this way, right? If there were another alternative..."

"Yeah, I know," Jackie sighed. "It's just... I dunno. I was really starting to like it here and now I gotta go back to that place filled with stupid ponies and brain dead troggs and... ugh. But yeah, I know. Balance to the universe, roasted by a dragon and all."

"But hey, it might not be so hopeless after all," Jackie then said. "I was talking to Onyx, and she's been talking with Demotha. Some sort of dragon fire thing. I don’t know how it works, but old D said that after some time, when things start to get in balance or some cosmic shit, I could pay you guys a visit now and then. Not as long as I would like, but a little short visit and always sparingly would be okay."

"Wha... really?" I blurted, my eyes wide. "Hah!" I dove forward and threw my arms around Jackie enveloping her in a crushing hug. "Onyx, you wonderful bitch! Ohh, this is great, awesome news, girl. See, it's not all that bad. The universe seems to have thrown us a bone for once and we sure as hell are gonna gnaw the shit out of it!"

"There's... one thing though," Jackie said, her voice strained and a small smile on her face, making no attempt to escape my clutches. "No one really knows how long it'll be until I can cross over again. Not even Demotha. Could be weeks, months, years..."

"Don't worry about that none, Jackie girl," I sighed. "We can get all this stuff sorted out later, but we really need to get you back. That train could reach its destination at any time and you really don't want to make things difficult on yourself by waiting. Last thing you need is to appear in front of a crowded station or something, especially with the status quo of your world." I set her down and grasped her arm. "So come on, chop chop."

Jackie rolled her eyes, but followed suit.

"So I gotta ask," I said as we walked side by side. "But what exactly where you doing in the throne room in the first place? Wanted to try out the seat for the royal posterior, eh?" To my surprise, Jackie chuckled.

"No, not that. I was just... wondering."

"About?"

"Well..." Jackie trailed off, thinking of a way to formulate the words. "It's just that I've been thinking. Being here, in Ganondorf's 'Verse. I look at you guys and... well, you've done pretty good for yourselves," Jackie said, her gaze directed to the ground, a small crease in her brow. "You guys, both of you. You're like me. Or I'm like you, whatever. You two were sent to this horse fairyland, but you haven't like... I dunno. Assimilated or whatever. Neither of you have taken the ponies' bullshit, you've built something here, you've made something of yourselves and me... well, what have I done? Sure, I can screw with the stupid little ponies, but I don't have a big ass tower with tons of treasures in it. I don’t have legions of brain controlled ponies. I haven't given them the metaphorical finger besides screwing with them a bit, but you... well, you're cool," she said almost shyly. "And me... what? I don’t have none of that."

I listened, equal parts flattered and confused. "Really now?" I locked an arm round Jackie's neck and pulled her close. "Aww, thanks girl. It means a lot, you saying that. But what are you talking about? You're not me, and you're certainly not that colossal fuckwit Ganonprick, thank darkness for these favors, but you don’t need none of that. You are Jaqueline and that is all you ever need to be. Sure, you take the 'Jackie smash' route more often than I would like, but you managed to come this far without any real outside help when you discount those friends you mentioned once to me. You successfully managed to get a grasp on your chaos mojo workings where I am sure, others would have blown themselves to blood giblets. You not only survived in a universe where mankind is nothing but braindead livestock but you thrived. That all is the base for your future Jackie. Take it from me when I say, I am ready to bet my whole life on it that you will find your way in your Verse, to find a corner of the world you can fill with those you wholeheartedly can call friends. Maybe they might be antisocial jackasses, weirdos or some kind of crazy scientists for all the world cares but as long as they are willing to punch an Alicorn square in the snooze for you, you cannot ask for truer friends." I winked at the younger girl "I know I am ready to one-two anyone trying to fuck with my little Jackie-Bear."

"Point is," I continued. "You don’t need to be like me or Ganon. If I may quote a cuddly, squishy panda, 'you just need to be the best 'you' you can be', and that, Jackie girl, is someone I'd very much like to see in the future, capische?"

"Right," Jackie replied, in higher spirits now. I smiled and squeezed once more before letting go and so they made their way to my arcane lab.

Lyra was still there, keeping a close eye on the portal while Gnarl directed the still dancing Minions, who now started to look restless, to keep on dancing. Jackie didn't bat an eye, already used to such odd happenings in my domain. Another Brown, Nibbler, entered soon, presenting to me a bundle wrapped in cloth and a little pouch atop it.

"Well, this is it, girl. Are you ready?" I asked as Jackie looked guardedly at the portal.

"I'm still not crazy about just jumping blindly into these things," she muttered. "But yeah, I'm ready."

With a mental command, I ordered all nonessential personnel to vacate the area, Gnarl included. That he was deemed nonessential while Lyra was allowed to stay chafed at his pride and so he shot a truly nasty glare at the unhinged mare before hobbling out.

"So," I clapped. "Presents." At Jackie's raised eyebrow I continued. "What, you didn't think I'd let my best buddy rough it out in hostile Ponyland without a few gifts, did ya?" I punctuated by bopping a finger atop Jackie's nose.

With an exaggerated clearing of her throat, I gave Jackie the little innocuous pouch. "Well, open it," I urged after Jackie merely held the thing in her grasp. Jackie snorted and did so, peering inside the contents. "Like it? I modeled it after the Expansion Charm from Harry Potter. Lyra helped with it too."

Jackie's eyes were wide open as faint, golden glimmers of light refracted from the pouch and into her face. "It's... money?"

"Gold, girl. But yes. Not good to send a young un' like yourself out into the cruel world without a little extra cash for a rainy day."

"How much is it?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I just grabbed a bunch and put it in. What, is it not enough?" I said with a false frown.

"No, no, it's fine," Jackie said quickly. "Um... thanks," she mumbled, not meeting my gaze.

"Think nothing of it, girl," I said, waving a hand airily. "But that ain't the crown jewel, no siree. For that, I present you with this." I now picked the enveloped bundle, holding it in the flat of both palms before passing it to a bemused Jackie.

"It's a dagger," she said after unwrapping it and sure enough, within lay a short, sheathed blade. With half curiosity, Jackie pulled the dagger out of the sheath, revealing a simple two edged blade of roughly twenty centimeters in length. Upon closer inspection, Jackie discovered that the name Jaqueline was etched into the blade itself.

"Not any normal dagger, girl," I said with a shark smile. "Made from the fires of the Arcanium smelter itself. Stronger than any old dagger, unbreakable but by the mightiest of forces and with a blade honed to perfection, immune to the wear of time but most importantly, it is made from a ore named cold iron. My dogs found a small cache of that stuff while expanding their mines and I thought I give you a little something made of it. If you are unfamiliar, cold iron is the anti-magic metal ever. It´s slightest touch alone can dispel most forms of magic and this little puppy here is sure to slice through even the most powerful wards and spells like through wet toilet paper. Also, it is easy to conceal and if you wear it close to you, there is a big chance that is will sometimes dispel or at least hinder spells aimed at you." I explained, wrapping an arm around Jackie. "You do know why I'm giving you this, right girl?" Jackie nodded. "I... may have been a bit too hasty when I tried to hold you back from all this mess. You're right. You'll need to get your hands dirty sometime. I sure hope to whatever deity is looking down on us that it doesn't happen, but with our luck..." I chuckled humorlessly. "Well, take it. Defend yourself if you have to but do me a favor, will you girl?"

"What is it?"

"Try to live a little. Stop with the doom and gloom all the time and try to get along with the ponies or dogs, griffins, zebras or dragons or whoever, those you think you can with, at least. Yes, human troggs and asshole ponies and all. You won't be friends with many and I don’t think you'll like as much, but promise me you'll try and get along with at least a few, to give them a chance and make your stay less crappy than you have to. Could you do that for me?" I asked quietly, my eyes never leaving Jackie's.

"Sure. I can do that."

I smiled, affectionately running a hand through her hair. "That a girl." I chanced another look at the portal. "Enough with the dawdling now. The longer we drag this out the harder it will be."

Jackie approached the portal, me following close behind. "So... this is it, huh?" Jackie muttered, scuffing the ground with her shoe, her new dagger clasped tightly in hand. "Well, goodbye, I guess," she said, shifting uneasily and eyeing me with a curious look.

For my part, I scoffed good naturedly and wrapped both arms around Jackie, who sighed.

"God, you're grabby. It's like you're a pervert or something."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Never said I wasn't."

"You gonna let me go now?"

"Depends. Are you gonna give me some love?"

I could literally feel Jackie grow warmer, but nevertheless, the recalcitrant girl's arms snaked upwards, briefly hugging me in return.

"Alright, for realsies this time!" I declared and pulled away. "Go on, get back to your horsies."

Smiling softly, Jackie stepped closer to the portal. "Remember, soon as it's okay you pull me out and back in here."

"Without a doubt."

"Literally the second it's alright."

"Sure, sure."

"Cause if you don’t I will hurt you."

"Your dearest friend? Jackie, how could you?" I gasped in mock indignation. "You have my word, girl," I said seriously, a broad grin still on my face. "First chance I get you and I are gonna stay and live it up in this tower. No adventures, cultists or other 'Verses in sight. Just us girls having a swell time."

Jackie nodded. "I look forward to it." She turned, not looking back and stepped out the portal and into the other side.

Author's Note

And this, Ladies and Gents, concludes The heartless Renegade Arc.

Holy hell, this whole monster had been more than 100.000 words in itself and took all in all the better of a year to write completly but I regret not a single second of it.

Both, Jackie and Umbra grew as individuals through this whole ordeal and even though for now it is time for them to walk on seperate paths again, there will be a time when they meet again. I sincerly thank you all for being a part of it by reading all these collaborated horsewords. m(_ _)m

Oh, and for all of you who wonder why Onyx mom Demotha flipped such a lid, just let me say that what Umbra did in friendly intention is pretty much the same as popping the question for dragons in this Verse.^^