It's A Funny Story, Really!

by FlameingToast

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Romance
Length: 3968

Rainbow Dash has sort of been lying to her sister about her special somepony, Rarity. Rarity is mad.

Rarity and Rainbow Dash are madly in love, and even live together. Or so Dash's sister thinks.

Rainbow has kinda been lying to her so that she would stop setting her up with dates. What had started as a little white lie about how Rarity and her were starting to date, quickly spiraled out of control.

Now they want her to visit. With Rarity. Yeah...this can't possibly go wrong!

Cute cover art found here

Published 2014-05-04 01:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-18 05:09:06 UTC

A Little White Lie

It probably hadn't been a good idea, but Rarity needed the break. The sun was shining over Ponyville, and a slow, cool breeze kept everypony from getting too hot. It was just one of those days when everypony had to step outside and enjoy the fresh air, even if it was only for a few minutes. But most ponies where planning to continue the rest of the afternoon in the fresh air. Rarity, however, could not afford that luxury.

I'll just be five more minutes, Rarity thought with a smile. She was sitting at a small wooden table that had been set up yesterday in her backyard for a Cutie Mark Crusader meeting. It was likely the only thing they were planning was how to get hurt next, but children will be children.

Plus, it was just outside the Carousel Boutique so she could return at her leisure. Enjoying the warmth of the sun and the light chill from the wind Rarity's mind was pulled, unsurprisingly, back to dresses. The past few days had felt like one continuous rush to finish all her orders. Rarity was glad of the work, her dresses were being sent to so many ponies that would simply adore them! But first she to make the dresses for them to adore, which, while fun, was very stressful.

Fortunately, there was only on order left. So, she decided a few minutes outside couldn't hurt. After all, she was almost done with it. Taking in a deep breath of cool air, Rarity closed her eyes and enjoyed the peace and quiet. Only...a few more...minutes...and then I'll get up and-

"What in the world are you doing?"

Rarity's eyes snapped open. Her head was lying on the table, and ,as she picked her head back up, felt her neck crack.

Yawning Rarity looked up at the voice "Rainbow Dash, what are you doing here?"

"Well, hello to you too, sunshine." Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

Rarity rolled her eyes "You know what I meant, I'm just a little surprised you creeped up on me so easily."

"Are you kidding me? I'm sure a stampede of wild buffalo wouldn't have woken you up." Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Wake me-, I FELL ASLEEP!" Rarity exclaimed, looking at the sky. The sun was most certainly not in the position it had been when she had lied down. I must've been asleep for at least an hour!

"Ohnoohnoohno!" Rarity muttered, hastily getting up from the table "I have to finish my order, and send it tomorrow if I want it to get to Los Pegaus in time-"

"Ah, you're working on her dress." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, a pink dress thing? Sort of frilly?" Rainbow Dash asked casually, although her smile seemed to be slightly forced.

Rarity stopped just as she was about to continue her rant. "How did you know that?"

"Well, Stormy told me about the dress she ordered for some ball thingy." Dash shrugged "She said she'd be ordering it from you, so when you said Los Pegasus I sort of guessed. Plus, she's the kind of mare who wants everything pink, it makes me want to vomit sometimes, I swear!""

"You know my client?" Rarity asked curiously.

"Oh, right!" Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her neck, landing next to Rarity. "Stormy's my sister, I guess I never told you too much about my family."

"What!? How could I not know you had a sister?" Rarity said rather dramatically.

"Well, we don't exactly spend a ton of time together, we're not going to know everything about each other." Rainbow Dash landed next to Rarity "Plus, I don't really talk about her...ever."

"You have to tell me all about her later," Rarity turned around, and opened the door. "But I really must finish the order."

Rainbow Dash sprang forward and landed in front of Rarity "Actually, my sister wanted me to tell you there had been a change of plans with the dress."

Rarity raised an eyebrow "A change of plans? Whatever do you mean? Does she want a different color scheme? I can't change anything to the dress, it's almost finished!"

Rainbow Dash smiled "Well, it's kind of a funny story. She wants you to hoof deliver the dress so that she can meet you."

"Why would she want to meet me? Is she really that enamored with my works?" Rarity grinned "It's quite flattering, but understand I can't just go to Los Pegasus."

Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her neck "It's not that she likes your dress. Kinda, actually, but no. She actually wants to meet you because you're my marefriend..."

"..." Rarity stared "I'm your what?"

Rainbow Dash blushed lightly "Well, as far as she knows; we've kind of been dating for a while. So...she sorta wants to meet you." Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"How come I was not aware of our relationship?" Rarity asked calmly, her expression completely neutral "BECAUSE IF TWO PONIES ARE DATING, BOTH ARE USUALLY AWARE!" Rarity exclaimed, allowing her forced calm to transition into fury.

"Uh, let me explain!" Dash's eyes widened as she found herself in the grip of an angry unicorns magic. Never a good thing.

"You most certainly are!" She replied, dragging a struggling Rainbow Dash into the Carousel Boutique

~*~

Rainbow Dash had, understandably, expected an angry or confused response. But Rarity's expression was venomous.

"So...how have you been lately?" Dash chuckled, then ducked as a pillow was thrown at her.

"Hey! That wasn't very lady like-" this pillow found its mark. Dash was sitting across from Rarity on her living room couch, while Rarity sat in a chair. As Dash shook her head, getting the surprisingly hard pillow of of her face, she saw that Rarity looked significantly less...murderous.

Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath "Okay, I'm calm." She opened her eyes "Alright, let me get this straight. You told your family we are...dating, correct?"

Dash nodded, lying down on the couch. "Yup."

Rarity sighed "Alright, why? Also, why even lie to your sister."

Rainbow Dash threw her hooves into the air "Stormy's insane! All she does is set me up on dates and tell me I'll never be happy until I land a colt!"

She groaned "So, I figured enough was enough. I decided to tell Stormy that I had just started seeing somepony. That was," she glanced upwards, muttering "A few months ago, February I think, probably around Hearts and Hooves day. That's probably why she was setting me up on a ton of blind dates."

Rainbow Dash shook her head "Okay, starting to ramble. Basically I had to keep adding to the lie, and now she really wants to the see the 'love of my life' " She sighed.

Rarity cocked her head. "Why go through all of that trouble?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged "It's annoying. My sister only talks about boring sappy stuff, and if I ever hear 'Oh, you're going to love him, Dash!' I will throw myself off of the castle!" She blinked, "Maybe not that far, but I would do something insane!"

"Then why not pick Big Macintosh, or somepony who's, you know, male?" Rarity replied.

Rainbow Dash laughed "Really? I figured you knew that males aren't really my thing."

Rarity blushed "There were rumors, but I never put much faith in that sort of thing."

Rainbow Dash smirked "Well, the gossip is true. Although, I'm surprised there were any at all."

"Some ponies thought you might've been dating Applejack." Rarity said "But that's not the case...right?"

"Nope." Rainbow Dash smiled "But can we please get back to you pretending to love me?"

"Rainbow Dash, I already love you-" Her eyes widened, as Rainbow's smile did.

"Not in that way, just-" Rarity paused frantically trying to save herself, all the while Dash's amusement was growing. "I love you like a friend! Like all of out friends love each other!"

Rainbow Dash leaned forward and winked "Oh, you love me." They say lightning never strikes at the same place twice, but pillows sure could. Still laughing, she rubbed her nose; unsure how a soft frilly pillow could feel like a rock! But the pain was worth it, and she continued guffawing.

After a few more seconds of giggleds from Dash and an icy glare from Rarity, Dash calmed down and spoke up "But, don't worry. I don't have any actual feelings for you, I just picked the first pony who came to mind."

"Oh, well thank Celestia..." Rarity's frowned "Sorry, was that mean?"

Rainbow gave a small grin "Don't worry about it. Anyways, this brings me to our problem."

"Our problem?" Rarity pointed at Rainbow Dash "I believe you meant it was your problem."

"Nope, Stormy wants to meet you. So she asked me to bring you with me to Los Pegasus this weekend." Rainbow Dash frowned "So, you see the problem?"

"Well, while Los Pegasus would be very nice this time of year, I hardly think a trip spent pretending to be your marefriend
would be worth it." Rarity replied. "Why don't you cancel?"

Rainbow Dash groaned "Don't you think I've tried that? I've been turning down these invitations, but now she says she wants you to hoof deliver her dress so she can meet you! If that doesn't happen, she'll come to Ponyville! She treats my romantic interests like a Wonderbolts show, I swear."

Rarity sighed "Listen, I don't think it would be such a good idea to pretend to be your marefriend. I'll just send her the dress, and you can tell your sister the truth."

"Are you kidding me!? You won't even help out your friend!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed angrily.

Rarity rolled her eyes "And you say I'm the dramatic one." She glanced at the clock. "Again, sorry Rainbow; but it's getting late. I have to finish the dress tonight so that I can send it in time for Friday."

Rainbow Dash snorted "Did I mention she won't pay unless you deliver it?"

"..." Rarity blinked, "She...WHAT!?" Rarity groaned "Why does this happen to me?" She buried her face in her hooves.

Rainbow Dash leaned forward and lightly patted her on the back "There, there." Rarity glared up at Dash.

"Sorry, just trying to help." Rainbow Dash shrugged, backing away slightly, wary of yet another pillow.

The silence that followed seemed to drag on. Rainbow Dash fidgeting on the couch, while Rarity kept her head in her hooves.

Eventually, Rarity picked her head up. And with a resigned, but annoyed expression; she started to speak.

"Alright, I'll go with you..." Rarity muttered.

"Really?" Rainbow Dash smiled, her expression brightening.

"Wait until I'm finished!" Rarity cut off her friend "I needed to get some more fabrics anyways, and you do seem to need my help. But, I will not kiss you or do anything romantic! I shall merely help you tell her the truth."

Rainbow Dash frowned "Hey! How does that help."

Rarity smiled "I'm just not comfortable lying about something like that, and neither should you!"

Rainbow Dash groaned "I know it's not the best thing in the world! But a little white lie isn't so bad, please Rarity!" She adopted a puppy dog expression. "Pretty please!"

Rarity shook her head "Sorry, darling, But those are my terms. I help you tell Stormy the truth, and get a little vacation!"

Rainbow Dash got up off of the couch and frowned "Fine. So, I'll leave you to your dresses, or whatever." Trotting out of the Carousel Boutique, she muttered "I should've said it was Pinkie Pie. She would've agreed, no questions asked..."

"See you Friday, Dash." Rarity grinned as she waved good-bye.

Rarity stayed where she was for a minute, just enjoying the silence. Eventually, she got up and hummed tunelessly as she walked towards her sewing machine, eager to finish up what would hopefully be a beautiful dress. So, with renewed vigor, she picked up a needle.

Stormy Skies Ahead

The train ride had been rather quiet. Rarity and Rainbow Dash had sat across from one another, Rarity reading a travel guide; and Rainbow Dash staring out the window. They were about halfway there, and Dash was starting to get fidgety. An hour sitting still was not the thing a pegasus like Dash enjoyed. So, even though she still was a little agitated, she tried to alleviate some boredom.

"So," Rainbow Dash started, breaking the silence and causing Rarity to look up from the pamphlet "What are ya reading?"

"Oh, I'm just planning where we'll go." She turned the pamphlet around, and it had certain landmarks and areas circled or crossed out. "I've always wanted to have a vacation in Los Pegasus, and seeing how we'll be there for a couple of days, I couldn't resist."

"We? Rarity, I don't think you're idea of fun spots to go to will be the same as mine." Rainbow Dash replied.

"Nonsense," Rarity said, rolling up the paper with her magic and stuffing it into a nearby bag "I picked a few places we can enjoy, and you can pick some more locations."

Rainbow Dash brightened "Really? You'll go to wherever I pick?" Rarity nodded, although with some worry "Sweet! I know some really great spots there!"

"Well, as long as it isn't something too dirty." Rarity frowned.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes "Don't worry, Rarity. You're the pony that likes being covered in mud after all." She smirked.

Rarity met Rainbow Dash's playful expression with a glare "Applejack said she wouldn't tell anyone that!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged "Hey, love makes you do crazy things. Or, in your case, a crush gone too far."

Rarity pointed "I was sure he was the one!"

"Just like Blueblood?" Rainbow Dash laughed.

Rarity shook her head "It does seem I have a lot of bad luck when it comes to stallions."

"A relationship with me sounds a lot better now, huh?" Rainbow Dash put her hooves behind her head and reclined on the seat.

"In your dreams." Rarity replied with a wry smile.

~*~

The rest of the train ride was fairly anticlimactic. Rarity and Dash would talk about something or the other, manage to start an argument, and then go silent. This repeated until Dash decided to fall asleep, lamenting her lack of clouds to sleep on instead of the Celestia awful seats.

But she was awoken from her nap when the train screeched to a stop. Well, it was more accurate to say she woke up when her face hit the floor.

"Ow..." Rainbow Dash mumbled making no effort whatsoever to leave the floor "What the hay, Rarity?"

Rarity rolled her eyes, getting off of her own seat without any casualties "Dash, we've arrived! You can sleep once we get to your sisters house."

Rainbow Dash's head jerked up, her eyes wide "Wait, we're staying with Stormy!?"

Rarity frowned "What? I figured it would save us from having to pay for a hotel, and this way you catch up with your sister."

"Do you know how embarrassing it'll be to have to tell I had been lying, and then stay with her!?" Rainbow Dash shook her head "You must be crazy."

"Well, you do have a point. But we can talk about it later, in case you haven't noticed; we've arrived.

"Ugh! Fine!" Rainbow Dash said in defeat. They gathered their suitcases, or in Rarity's case on of many, and they exited the train. The terminal was surprisingly filled for it being barely noon. The platform they were on gave them a vast view of the city, and what a view it was.

It seemed as if every building was competing to be the tallest, and the towering skyscrapers fluttered in the noon sun. Ponies were everywhere, all trying to weave in out of the crowd. It looked like there was a large park near them, filled with lush green and a large marble fountain.

"Wow, I've never seen such a large city." Rarity gazed around, taking everything in but not nearly being able to comprehend all the lights and signs.

"Yeah, Manehatten comes close." Rainbow Dash made a sweeping motion with her hoof "But Los Pegasus is really something. You can stand around and stare like a tourist later, right now I'm hungry" she stated, heading towards the exit.

Rarity looked back at the train, noticing a stallion struggling not to collapse under the weight of a multitude of suitcases.

"Ah, thank you!" Rarity smiled at the stallion "Could you please set my things near the exit?"

The stallion smiled back, sweating furiously, and started his slow walk towards the front of the terminal. With that taken care of, Rarity started to look for a rainbow mane in the crowd. After a few seconds of searching, she found Dash walking up to a food vendor.

Rarity tried her best to wave in and out of the crowd, but she still ended up muttering, almost to herself, 'sorry!' and 'please excuse me!'

By the time she had worked her way over to Rainbow, she was popping some sort of hard candy into her mouth.

"Whant suome?" Rainbow Dash, with a mouth full of candy, asked.

Rarity shrunk back "No thank you, Rainbow Dash. And please eat with your mouth closed next time, okay?"

Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes, by the end of this trip I'll be the best eye-roller in Equestria.

"I'll take that as a maybe." Rarity pointed towards the front of the station "But right now we need to leave if we want to have time for lunch before getting to your sisters."

Rainbow Dash gulped down most of the candy, and this time only popped one red-striped ball into her mouth "Lunch sounds good, ya got any plans?"

Rarity nodded "We're not too far from this place where we can eat outside and really enjoy the day!"

Rainbow Dash laughed "Okay, if I promise to bring you along whenever I leave Ponyville, will you plan everything?"

"While that is a tempting offer, this was merely a last minute schedule. I don't know too much about Los Pegasus, but I gathered some information." Rarity replied, walking slightly ahead of Dash to lead the way. They fell into silence, their attention on not running into other ponies, or getting run over by other ponies in the street. They continued at a steady pace until Rarity stopped in front of a small cafe.

~*~

It was silent as both Rarity and Rainbow Dash ate their sandwiches. They were sitting outside of the cafe, grateful for the shade given to them by a multicolored umbrella above their table. Rarity's eyes wandered around the street, watching various ponies mill about.

"How's your sandwich?" Rarity asked turning back to look at Dash.

"Its fine." Rainbow Dash replied, laying her head on the table.

"What's the matter?" Rarity asked curiously, taking another small bite of her own food.

"Could you at least play along for a little while?" Rainbow Dash pleaded "Do you know how embarrassing this is going to be?"

Rarity chuckled lightly.

"Oh, do you find my suffering funny?" Rainbow Dash glared.

Rarity shook her head "I'll admit, your pouting is kind of funny." She smiled "But I really think it is funny how you're dead set on making sure your sister doesn't figure out your little lie."

"Well if you were in my place, wouldn't you want the same thing!?" Rainbow Dash threw her hooves up, drawing a few glances from nearby tables.

Rarity paused, what would I do? "I guess it would be pretty embarrassing if I told Sweetie I was lying about dating somepony..."

Rainbow Dash's eyes seemed to light up "See!" She exclaimed "You would want that other pony to help you out! And right now, I need you to help me out! It's not that I don't feel guilty, 'cause I do a little bit, but I really don't want to tell her." Rainbow Dash sighed.

"Listen, I'm not sure if that would be such a good idea. You shouldn't lie to your sister about something like this, and the longer you wait the worse it will get." Rarity frowned slightly "But...I'll let you be the one to tell her. I won't blurt it out, no matter how tempting."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. There has to be some other reason she's so set on trying to get me to play along. I've seen her confess to other lies much easier than this.

Rarity took the last bite of her own dandelion sandwich, enjoying the seasonings on it. Without a word, she got up from the table.

Rarity looked at her friend "I will play along for a little while, if you promise to tell her the truth face to face when we leave tomorrow morning."

"Can't we just cut out that last part?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I have no idea why this is so important to you, but friends help friends in need." Rarity sighed in defeat "But I will make you tell her. This way you won't have to deal with too much embarrassment, since we'll only be staying with her for the night."

"Yes!" Rainbow Dash punched the air in victory "I owe ya one Rares!"

"You bet you do!" Rarity replied, smiling slightly at her friends excitement. "Now then, shall we be off?"

"Let's go." Rainbow Dash unceremoniously jumped up from the table, knocking over her drink and sending their plates to the ground. "Oops..." She looked behind her and saw their waiter.

"Uh, sorry about that dude." She half-grinned before practically launching herself back onto the street.

Rarity gave a nervous laugh "Yes, well...thank you for your service." She floated a little extra tip over to the annoyed stallion, and made a hasty retreat. Soon she found Rainbow Dash on the sidewalk laughing quietly to herself.

Her laughter stopped as a menacing shadow fell over her. Rainbow Dash looked up at her glaring friend.

"Uh, hey Rarity. That was pretty funny, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Rarity grinned coldly "I'm feeling less guilty about making you tell your sister now." Silence fell over the two as they waited for a carriage.

After a few minutes, Rarity managed to flag down a carriage; and Rainbow Dash helped her load their luggage.

"Hello, sir. Could you take us to..." Rarity started, before realizing she had no idea where they were headed.

"Skyline apartments, 37th street." Rainbow Dash stated, crossing her hooves and looked out the window as the stallion nodded, and started their journey.

Save for a few small conversations, Rarity and Rainbow Dash kept themselves occupied by looking at the city around them. It was really beginning to dawn on both of them that even tough they were good friends, they didn't really have too much in common. After a surprisingly long ride, the carriage came to a stop.

The first thing Rarity noticed about the apartment complex was that it was huge. It must've been at least twenty stories tall, and the sun glinting off of some of windows caused her to avert her eyes. Rainbow Dash, however, just looked at it with apathy.

"Well, here we are." Rainbow Dash said "Let's just get this over with."

Rarity picked up her bags, while Rainbow Dash slung hers over her back "I didn't expect your sister to live somewhere this nice!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes "Yeah, yeah. It's pretty nice, but excuse me if I'm not to thrilled."

"My, aren't you just sunshiny today." Rarity replied.

Rainbow Dash simply shrugged as she trotted up to the door, and with a deep breath; opened it.

Author's Note

A big thanks to Triforce of the Gods for proofreading this chapter!