Mad as a Hatter

by squitxl

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna
Length: 15885

Ever run into something that you know is a trap, but really want the bait on the trap? I mean that necklace was so eye catching. Shadows may take me for this but I'll go smiling.

I am formally known as the Mad Hatter, but my friends call me Hatter. I don't think I can call myself human anymore after what those shadow hands did to me, but I just roll with it. I'd rather have fun and be carefree than let a little dimensional traveling affect me.
Let us just see how these ponies like my madness...and hats, I hope they like my hat.

Crossover with Don't Starve, but you don't need to know much about the game.
My first published story, with inspiration from the stories of LoHAV

Published 2014-04-17 02:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-12 07:31:20 UTC

Tip of my Hat

(Discord’s Release)

Being encased in stone is pretty bad for most accounts. I sat in my metaphysical pocket dimension inside my top hat with about a hundred screens in front of me. Each screen showed a different first person perspective. It was the only thing that kept me sane in my stoney prison.

I could hear another tour group going by on the outside. When inside the hat I only hear mumbled voices, so I decided to return back to my body.

“Girls! Now this is a really interesting statue. What do you notice about it?” A magenta mare asked a bunch of fillies. She had three smiling flowers for a cutie mark, so it must mean she’s a teacher.

“It's got an eagle claw!” A filly with a big bow stated using a slight southern accent. I never understand accents in this world, even though Equestria is so small there are a multitude of accents.

“And a lion paw!” Now a orange filly pegasus gave another detail. Are they just going to name off everything they see? They need to think about the bigger picture.

“And a snake tail!” The white unicorn screech with her high pitched voice. I don’t like this tour group at all. I zoned out after hearing her voice. Just a bit of mute function thanks to my hat.

How can Discord listen to this everytime? The three fillies start to argue about something most likely unoriginal. The teacher says something and the group of kids laugh. They all start walking away as I notice the cracks going up Discord’s statue. His statue breaks apart as I turn the sound back on.

Discord laughs a very maniacal laughter. “It’s so good to finally be free from that cramped prison.” Discord strolls up to my own statue and gives me a good look over. “I’ll have you out in a jiffy Hats.” Discord rubs his hands together.

I said a telepathic message to him through my hat. While I would love to take you up on your offer my king, I believe you shouldn’t waste your power.

He stopped and gave me a raised eyebrow. “Waste? Why wouldn’t I break my old friend out of the slammer?”

I already have more then enough power to break free, I would just like to stay in a bit longer to find a good time to do it.

“You don’t want to come play some games with me?” He frowned. “And here I thought we could get the gang back together.”

I internally smiled at this. Dissy, I’ll make you a deal. If you keep what I taught you close to heart and try not to get captured again...I will be out in a week.

Dissy gave me his toothy grin. “You have a deal buddy.” He gave my statue a hug and flew off to do who knows what.

It’s too bad I already know you’ll be captured again soon, I hate making deals that I know I’ll win.

“Then why make them?” A voice spoke.

A plan is only as strong as its foundation Hat and I need to leave after the invasion. I mentally went back to watch the screens inside my hat.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

(Before Equestria)

You’d think that dressing up for a costume party would be a fun event. I mean I can’t call my experience bad, but calling good isn’t right either. I don’t blame my hat for what happened. It was just the luck of the draw.

I’m over 6 feet and look like a stick with dirty blonde hair giving me a good start. I decided to spend some money and buy a cheap suit, a fake rose, some black gloves, and some shiney business shoes. I was going to dress up as the most important character from Don’t Starve. William Carter or as most know him, Maxwell, the main antagonist from the game.

Before buying the pieces of my costume I went up to my attic to see if I had any of them already. I didn’t. But I did find a sweet top hat, I mean what magician doesn’t wear a top hat? A bad one.

I pieced together the outfit and stared at myself in the mirror. “If I’m an evil magician then the world doesn’t look good enough.”

Bunch of my college friends had gotten together to hold the party at the biggest house. A costume party full of what the average person would debatably call nerds. Meaning most costumes would be video games or anime.

This couldn’t be more true. There was a Cloud, an Itachi, and some other well known characters. A few of people at the party knew who I was going as but Don’t Starve is not an extremely popular game so I had to explain who I was a few times. I didn’t care I loved my outfit. I had quite a bit of drinks, but nothing to make me anything more than hazy.

The walk home was a hell of a trek. I got a ride from a friend to the party but the way back was because of my pride. My friend said he was gonna drive his girlfriend home, while hinting that I should see if I could get someone else should drive me home. I happened to say that my house was only a few miles away so a walk wouldn’t kill me. If I could tell myself how wrong I was I wouldn’t feel the pain.

After getting about 3 miles out my legs were already burning. The moon was high in the sky giving me some light. Bite back the pain, I’m already half way back. I noticed something off in the woods from the side of the road. A strange glow that looked like a blacklight. I could either keep heading home or I could spend a few minutes to see what’s making that lightshow. I am the cat and curiosity has a big bag of knives.

I went into the woods with my phone out to check the virtual compass. Better safe then sorry. After some minutes of walking I reached a clearing that seemed to be darker than it should. I stopped to let my eyes scout it out.

My eyes went straight for the thing hanging from the tree on the opposite side of the clearing. A odd gold necklace with a red gem in the center. It looked like it was from the game. I noticed myself walking towards it subconsciously and halted myself.

I finished my look around to have my eyes fall on something that sent shivers down my spine. A book, but not just any old book, a book that should just have Death Note written in bold letters on the cover. If one sees something that just emanates an aura of evil the first thing you do is run, but that damn necklace.

I needed it and had no clue why. I went with plan B and backed up and circled around the clearing without getting any closer to the book. If I didn’t go near it or touch it maybe the trap wouldn’t spring.

I had my back against the necklace. I turned around and grabbed it. I peered into it shining a reflection at me. I gave myself a moment to think. This is most definitely a trap right? This wouldn’t be one of those “honey traps” would it?...Nah.

I took off my hat and threw the necklace inside. I did a 180 and went to do the dance back to the road.

My eyes went straight to the book, which was now open. “Shit~” The darkness around the clearing wavered and started to converge on the book. There are times in everyone’s life when you know the jig is up and there is nothing that can change that. I stood up straight and changed my mindset to something more like Maxwell himself.

“Well, it seems you've gotten me at a good time.” Two long shadowy hands came up out of the book, but stopped. I gave them a good once over. “If I’m not mistaken you must be the codex umbra?” The hands seemed confused, well as much as shadow hands would be. The codex umbra was the book Maxwell used and was overwhelmed by, which also drove him insane. “If you’re going to do something you might as well start your act.” My facade was turning a bit posh.

The darkness swirled around me and created a dark whirlpool beneath me. I couldn’t help but smile as I fell into darkness only thinking one thing. If I die I’m going to die having a load of fun.

Author's Note

I threw my hat into the LoHAV ring, let's see how this goes.

Hats off to you

(1 Month after the changeling invasion)

The attack on Canterlot was foiled by the elements, and the lovebirds were off on their honeymoon. It's been peaceful since then and from what I know nothing will happen until the crystal empire shows up, making this a great time to get back into the action.

Hat would you mind sending out a call to all my knights? I mentally prepared myself for a fantastic call out.

"It's ready whenever you are."

My knights, my engineers, my scouts, the time is nigh! I was starting to get really into this. Let it rain madness...and hats. For the Mad Hatter wishes to start the game. Finishing my broadcast monologue, I poured my collected magic in my hat. A vertical eye opened on the front of my hat. It gave off a shadowy glow that enveloped my statue. The glow continued until it dulled into nothing. The stone that was my prison fell off of me as if it was paper, floating down to the ground.

I had a good long stretch on top of my pedestal. Finishing my stretch and opening my eyes brought me a pleasuring sight. My loyal knight on one knee, head bowed, before me.

"My master, I wish to welcome you to what Equestria has become." His voice was formal and still but you could hear the deeper happiness to see me moving around again.

"Cain, You and Kar have been giving reports, I know what's been going on." I rolled my eyes at my happy little knight. Cain was as tall as an adult pony, which is slightly above my waist. He has a metal bar over his left eye and looks like he came from the island of misfit toys. Well, except for his very real crystal blade sheathed at his hip. I headed towards one of the other statues in the garden. "Cain?"

"Yes sir?" He turned his head up to look at mine.

"Where are all the guards?" I asked while still looking at the upcoming statue.

"Some are on shift change while the others are dealing with one of Blueblood's more major tantrums." He chuckled. "I may have caused the ladder."

This made me lift a brow and glance at him. Cain was one of the few constructs that I couldn't see what he saw through my hat, so I believed he just went about his day watching over my statue and collecting ambient magic from the princesses. Not to say I didn't like to see this new wild side, I just had no clue he even had one. "You go around pranking ponies?"

The question shocked him, and he had a look of guilt written all over him. "I don't do it often, I just thought you would need a distraction."

We reached Discord's statue, and I turned to look at its face. "Don't feel so guilty about it, I'm thankful you were able to give me the time you could." I could hear him breathe a sigh of relief. Now for my little message.

"Discord, I can't break you out at the moment, but I've come to tell you that you'll be released on parole in a few months." I wore a quite devious smile. "Do not fret I won't do anything drastic without you. I need to get everything straight with the progress my group has made over the millennium." I went up on the pedestal he was on and put my arm around his stone neck. "I'll try to lay down the carpet for your arrival. No pony will fear the spirit of chaos, we will dance and be merry." With the final sentiment I raised my hand into the air and looked towards the sky.

"And how will you change the xenophobic ponies?" Hat questioned in a disbelieving tone.

We'll find a way, don't you worry my dear Hat. "Now, Cain, where is my ride out of here?" Starting my walk out of the gardens.

"The moment you were free Kar sent a vehicle over." He pointed towards the garden exit.

"Gotcha." This gave me some time to think about my next course of action. Should I head straight to Kar and get the grandiose report I knew he was going to give me? Or should I drop by Celestia and Luna to say hello?

I was still deep in thought when we reached what looked like a normal taxi that ponies would use, maybe slightly bigger. What brought me out of my thinking was who was pulling the cab. A slightly buff earth pony and a spry pegasus. The pegasus noticed how close I was and nudged the other.

"My master, we were sent by Kar to pick you up." He spoke in a formal and slight gruff voice.

"You two are constructs?" Another new surprise for the day.

"Yeppers sir, we woke up and were sent to pick you up the moment Sir Kar got word." A chipper, happy-go-lucky pegasus, I love Kar's work. The only strange part was that these two looked very life-like for being made by one of my own. I can only guess how much progress Kar wanted to surprise me with.

"Before I forget, what are your names?" If they woke up and got here this quickly Kar may have not given them names. Giving a construct a name is one of my cardinal rules.

"Clockwerk, sir." He is most definitely the soldier type.

"Timestop is the name I was given, cause when I start time just stops." He giggled at his boasting. He had spunk and confidence I'll give it to him.

I took another look at the castle and gave a scratch to my stubbly beard. "You two stay here and wait until I have a word with my fiery friend. Cain you can follow me, but keep out of sight." He gave me a nod.

"One of the guards found you're missing and is running to Celestia." Hat gave the report of what his screens were showing him.

I started towards the throne room. Send me the directions I'll head there directly.

"She has company." He had an unsure voice.

Blueblood right? He's nothing to worry about. I thought, not understanding the problem.

"No, he's gone. She has some new companions with her now."

It's fine. I'll only pop in to say hello and maybe tease her a bit. A quick visit shouldn't make her blow up.

"If you say so..."

Man, today is a day with enough surprises for the year to come. I knew the month was May. What I didn't know is that today was some event that wasn't celebrated on Earth. Or it's just a made up event for her to have fun with.

My little visit became more difficult the moment I found out who she was having her chat with in the throne room. I'm glad I was smart enough to not use one of the normal entrances.

In the middle of the big room was Celestia giving a hug to her student, the element of magic. With the other elements behind her friend watching this happen. Gotta be careful about how I seem. Too intimidating and they might just lock me back up. That is not to say I couldn't just break out again, I did have a huge amount of magic stashed away with Kar. Though it would be a ball buster to go back to soon.

The hug broke up. "My little ponies, I am glad we could have this get together." That smile and motherly feeling always made me feel like she had a bigger plan. My plan will beat your plan right out of the water, just you wait. My voice turning somewhat evil.

"Pay attention to what's going on you knob."

The throne room door slammed open to a new face. "Sister!" A frazzled Luna shouted. "The guards tell me Hatter has escaped his seal."

This broke up the loving session Celestia had. I watched her emotions go directly to the opposite side of the spectrum.

"Princess Luna who has broken free?" The purple one questioned as Luna now coming to her senses to look guiltily at the mares and Celestia. Luna began to start before being cut off by Celestia.

"The Mad Hatter is what he is known as."

Oh? She's going to start listing off my achievements and how I met them both?

"He is a creature that lost his sanity."

What?

"He was a loyal knight to Discord and even rivaled his chaotic nature." Her truthful expression only made it worse. I couldn't take it anymore.

The side of a pillar slammed open to reveal a door. Yea, I got some reality bending powers, nothing big. I turned and closed the door quietly and faced the group again. "That is blatant slander and you know it Celestia!" Pouring my anger on full blast. "Saying I rivaled Discord, when he was the one that was doing his best." She and the group of mares seemed shocked at my outburst. Luna on the other hand was rolling her eyes.

"What happened to not being intimidating?" Hat declaring my first plan gone.

"Mad Hatter, if you've come for revenge then you will be stopped by the elements of harmony once again." Her horn lit up and put the box of elements from behind the thrones.

Guess she was prepared. She put the elements on the six mares, which seem to confuse them. I held an inquisitive face, and waited for this to play out.

"But princess shouldn't we need to know what he did or why he must be sealed again?" The purple one starting to have doubts and most of the group seemed to agree with her.

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" I slyly insinuated. The group seemed to turn their heads from me to Celestia. Celestia gave me her best frustrated face she could give. "The only problem with me telling any stories is that since you don't know me you have no reason to believe anything I say." Letting my head give a small shake from side to side.

"Sister, we should calm down and talk this over peacefully." Celestia seemed to be betrayed by Luna's words. "It isn't to say Hatter has wronged us." With that Celestia brought her emotions under control. I let out a small chuckle which I quickly hid behind my pokerface. She narrowed her eyes and started staring daggers.

"The Mad Hatter is as I said, an insane knight of discord." She reiterated herself.

"While Discord was you and your sister's childhood friend." This seemed to make Celestia go wide-eyed, the sound of the jaws hitting the floor from the mares, and Luna let out an audible sigh. I am the closet cleaner, just need to throw all these skeletons outta here first. "She is right though, I am the first knight of chaos."

The rainbow haired mare recovered first and flew close to my face. "I bet you're going to try and steal the elements and cause a whole load of chaos, just like Discord."

"First things first, would you please not have your face so close to mine? Didn't you ever hear about personal bubbles?"

The pink mare raised her hoof into the air. "OH OH is that like your own personal bubble buddy?"

"Close" pointing at her and giving her a wink.

"What is it that you want, Hatter?" Celestia questioned while finally dropping the formalities. "Even if you didn't do anything personally you still went along with Discord and instigated him." I frowned at this. I guess Discord's efforts were either forgotten or went to waste.

I decided to go along with the path I wanted to take, and for that I would need to be the bad guy. "My dear old Celestia, so old are you, very, very old. With you being there when ponies first discovered wheels." She started to catch on to what I was doing. "I am going to continue what I was doing from before I was locked up." I winked at her.

"Girls! Activate the elements before he-" I held my hand up to halt Celestia.

I started my act. "Do you ever wonder why no demons have escaped Tartarus since we were sealed? What I mean is, when Discord was the king there were at least a few reports of demons escaping, so why did they all the sudden stop?" My tone turning serious.

"It's because Cerberus guards the gate so that nothing can leave Tartarus." The purple mare stated with certainty.

"Cerberus has been guarding the gate for much longer than a thousand years, from what Discord told me he was there before even he was born." This evidence seemed to bring the mare into deep thought.

"But how would you know there hasn't been any demon escapes if you've been turned to stone?" The pink mare asked. The realization seemed to hit everyone like a ton of bricks.

"Before you all start naming theories, I was turned to stone."

"Then how?" Purple seemed to be so interested.

"Well..." I took my hat and flipped it. I reached in and took out a card with a picture of a black cloud on it. "You see this card?" The mare nodded. "I can use them to do all sorts of things, like this one for instance. It has a picture of a smokescreen on it." Celestia's eyes widened right before a huge cloud of smoke exploded from the card I held.

(Celestia's POV)

His trap was too quick as everypony was hit by the wave of smoke. "Guards! Make sure he doesn't leave the castle!" I shouted to any guard nearby.

I concentrated on using my magic to clear the smoke that had enveloped the room. After it was removed I looked over my little ponies. "Is everypony alright?" They all seemed to be in bits of coughing, but they all nodded in unison. There was no sign of the Mad Hatter.

"I'm alright princess but what did he mean about Tartarus?" Twilight asked while it seemed the smoke made everypony's fur a slightly darker color.

I longingly looked towards the door. "I don't quite know Twilight, but I believe he will see to it that we find out."

Author's Note

Next chapter is going to be set in the past.
55 favs in 24 hours, Glad to see you all are interested.

Pulling a Rabbit out

(Unknown time in the past)

It felt like I had a really nice nap. When I start to wake up I never open my eyes, I listen to everything that is going on around me. There were birds chirping, whistles going off in the distance. My bed is quite hard, I must have passed out after the party last night. The party? My mind was started to wake up enough to remember certain things. A bird chirped nearby, but it sounded more like a tuba. The night sky, an air horn sounding bird was in the tree to my left, the trap, I think a marching band of mice were close, and those damn shadow hands.

You know, I bet when I open my eyes I'll wake up on the damn island in the game. My mind was not ready for the world that my eyes showed me. It was like a truck filled to the brim with kindergarten paint supplies had crashed and covered the world in its contents. Directly in front of me was a marching band consisting only of mice, like I had guessed. I closed my eyes and lied back down into my starting position.

You know, I bet when I open my eyes I'll wake up in a really childish candy land, with colors that really piss me off. I sat up and opened my eyes. Score one for me world. I furrowed my brow and sighed. I looked in my immediate vicinity to find anything that could tell me anything. Then I locked eyes with it.

"You! You damn dirty book!" My argument was with a book. "Where am I? Why am I here? These are the questions that need to be answered." My hand shaking as I pointed at the book. "Well, they really don't since the chance of me leaving this place is slim to none." My emotions going back to neutral. "This was probably a one way ticket sorta deal and you just had to lose the directions on how to get back." Throwing my hands up into the air in my tantrum. I stood up and brushed myself off. "I bet you want me to use your powers to take over this place using evil shadow creatures. Well guess what, I am never going to use you!" I was shouting at a book on the ground, but by all account this day can only go up. "Scratch that, I will most likely have to use you, so I will change my answer to me only using you as a last resort."

I gave my surroundings another look around when I noticed something that would turn my anger into pure bliss. "My hat!" I ran to it with outstretched arms, picked it up, and hugged it with all my might. "I thought that monster of a book took you from me." I released it from my grasp and gave it a good check. I stared at it and smiled. "Where's the necklace?" I flipped the hat and peered inside. It was positively empty, that I could say without a doubt. "You best be joking, dear hat." I did what any smart, thought out planner would do. I jammed my hand in it. I gave it a few seconds and noticed something strange. Why can't I feel the bottom? I did the second thing I smart person would do. I shoved my entire arm inside the hand, up to my shoulder. I still couldn't feel a bottom, or sides, I could move my elbow any which way and still not hit a side.

"How are you doing that?" I now noticed I had an audience. A certain chimera looking creature that sounded quite young, past the teens sort of young. He was staring directly at my hat which was hanging off of my shoulder. I pulled my arm out slowly and gave a short bow.

"I have no idea." Finally answering his question.

"Oh..." He seemed disappointed with my answer. He pointed his finger up. "Right! I should introduce myself, I am King Discord."

My eyes went wide as I finally figured out where I am. Now, I should say this now, I am what people call a 'loreophile.' Someone who has a insane love for beautifully crafted lore that spans over many books or media. This would include Star Wars, Warcraft, Game of Thrones, you know the ones. If it has over five huge books of story without any holes in the plot I normally love it. Well the craze with ponies came by a few years ago and I thought I would check how well built the world it was set in is. I pooled all of the lore in the matter of minutes. It was like a pamphlet you find under your car's wiper. Sure I read through everything but saying it had lore was a overstatement. But because of reading that small amount of information I was able to figure out where I am. Equestria, during Discord's reign as king.

I was reminded to introduce myself as he stared deeply at me. "You can call me..." Crap, I don't feel like giving away my real name after getting thrown into a different dimension. Got to think of a new name. Let's see, I have a completely swag hat. "...The Mad Hatter." I don't need originality with a hat like this. "You can call me Hatter if you want, I don't like to be formal."

He nodded at that and raised his finger to me. "You...don't look like a pony."

"I will assure you I am not a pony." I placed my hat upon my head and waved my hand towards the book. "This little article of evil seemed to forcefully bestow me a path to this world and slammed the door behind me." Discord looked between me and the shadowy book on the ground. "One thing I have learned from this whole experience is to never trust books. They fool you with their nice words and when you become engrossed, teeth jut out of the sides and bite down hard on your hands." What was I trying to explain again?

"And the magical aura coming off of your hat?" He looked at my hat closely.

"My hat has magic?" I pulled my hat down to have a better look and put on a long grin. "There must have been some magic in that old silk hat I found. For when I placed it on my head, I began to dance around." I replaced the hat and did a small twirl.

"This book also has-" He started as he went to pick up the book.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" My yell was loud enough to silence all the wildlife nearby. His hand became still and he turned his face was that of a deer in headlights. "I said that book was evil and I truly meant it. From what I know about its history, it feeds off the user like a parasite eating away at their sanity. When the user becomes weak enough to overpower, the book activates itself and turns the user into a mind controlled battery." He hastily pulled back his hand and looked at the book deeply from a distance.

"Why would a book like that even exist?" He looked towards me with fear. "Did they really need power at the cost of their life?"

I started towards the book. "As for why, there are only theories as who wrote the book. The second, even I don't know if it was used to its fullest potential." That was a lie, Maxwell used the book for years in his magic shows until it took him and transformed his assistant into the beast in the shadows. "But if they did I wouldn't know if it was worth it when you would become a husk using the book's magic on others until they would die or they survive and the cycle would repeat." I picked up the book and gave its cover a good long stare. "I am going to make sure this thing is throw into a vault." I remembered my bottomless hat. "But for now I'll have to see how deep my hat is." I chucked the book into my hat, even though the book was too big to fit the hat seemed to stretch until the lip was a big enough size. I pleasantly looked in to see the normal bottom of my top hat. I wonder how it knew what size to become. I put my hat back on.

I faced Discord and frowned. "I am sorry for shouting your Highness." I gave him a stout bow.

"You don't have to apologize. You might have even saved me from that parasitic thing, but is it going to be alright keeping something like that in your hat?" He tilted his head at me.

"Not sure, but probably. I mean if my hat could talk it might be able to answer."

"I think I can talk." A voice in my mind rang out.

I tilted my head ninety degrees. "I don't mean to be rude, but did you hear another voice besides ours?" I held a strong pokerface.

"Another voice? No, I don't believe I did." He answered truthfully.

Well hello Nancy, how are your jillbows today? Oh they're doing shamspackling, Gibley. I may have just gone insane at that moment.

"Would you rather me not tell you I could talk?" The annoyed voice questioned. I visually sighed at this.

No...I'm glad you told me now. "Just found out my hat can talk, just only through telepathy."

"Does that mean it can also talk to me?" Discord was starting to get excited. Guess he likes these sort of magic tricks.

"I don't know, can you Hat?" I looked at the cap on my head.

There was silence.

"Can you hear me now?" I wiped the sweat from my brow. Dodged a wacko bullet there.

A fangirl type noise came from Discord. "That is amazing, I haven't ever talked to a magical artifact." He started to go off on a tangent about the possibilities of talking and moving objects.

How much do you know by the way? This gave me some time to find some things out.

"About as much as you do."

So you don't ever wonder why were here? I had to see if my theory was right.

"Do you mean why were standing in this spot here or do you mean as a whole cosmic coincidence." My trap was sprung.

HA! You answered my question with a reference to Red vs Blue, you really are just has a copy of my memories. It was the highest possibility.

Another bit of silence as Discord rambled in the background.

"I think your right, or at least nothing to make me believe I'm a copy of you personally. Just the knowledge you have." I could hear the shock in his voice.

Even when you're off my head?

"Yes, I had the memories before I was picked up." This gave me a lot of things to work with now. It could be seen as having another head on my shoulders.

"Hey Discord?" This brought him out of his delusions and he turned to me. "Why is the entire world look so aimlessly nonsensical?" My question seemed to make him wince.

"That...was my work." Discord looked towards the ground for a few seconds, then glanced at me. "Is it really that bad?"

"If I could put it in any other way I would, but it's just mindless chaos." I sympathized with him, everyone's been told the truth about a failed project at one point.

"But that means I did it right, it's chaos." Raising his hands into the air as if fireworks were going off behind him.

"There's no reason for this though, it should be some good kind of chaos. I mean there are different types of chaos." My comment baffled him to no end. Sure, chaos was chaos, but he could at least do something worthwhile with it.

"Different...types?" Full attention was on me. "Like?"

Let me see if I can mold him into something better. "I can break chaos down into three categories. Mindless chaos, which is what we have around us. It means there is no reason for it, like turning each and every tree a different gradient of color. Bad chaos, which usually leads to death, like an anvil falling from the sky and landing on someone." From the gaping mouth before me, I didn't believe he was that type of guy. "And finally, Good chaos-"

"Good chaos? Is that really a thing?" Discord interrupted my teachings.

"Well if you think of it like this, in the middle of a big snowstorm where it's too cold for anyone to leave their house, a big bag of food falls down their chimney. This is both random and ends with the recipient alive and happy." Finishing my example Discord seemed to find this discovery astounding.

"That's genius, I have never thought chaos could save somepony's life." He looked up towards the sky and quickly went back to me. "Do you have some place to stay?"

"Well seeing as I just woke up here and was thrown here by a book. I don't think I do." I could see where this was going.

Discord had a grin that spanned across his face. "Then how about I give you a job that comes with free meals and a place to live." I thought he was just going to give me somewhere to stay.

"A job? What sort of job?" I eyed him suspiciously, but after giving it a second thought. "It's not like I'm going to get a job somewhere else though, so a job from a king? Sure, I'll take it." Giving him a shrug as I finished.

He giggled. "Ok, close your eyes and get down on one knee." This can go one of two ways. I did as he said and got down. He cleared his throat. "Mad Hatter" his deeper voice started formally. "Do you take on the responsibilities as the first knight of chaos?"

I gave a thought to say something a formal knight would say. "I will uphold the chaotic nature to better this strict world." Discord sounded like he needed to collect his bearings after that.

"Then with the power vested in me." When you get knighted you have a blade placed on either side of your shoulders, not some floppy flaccid thing was slung over it instead. This going both ways was not part of my plan. I resisted the urge to open my eyes and look at what it hopefully wasn't. "I name thee as the first knight of chaos." The thing went over my head and on my other shoulder, then lifted away. I opened my eyes rather quickly to see Discord happy with what he had accomplished, and a extremely over-sized piece of black licorice. "Now that it's complete, shall we?" He gestured to down the path behind him. I followed closely after him.

The colors of this place felt like they were jabbing me in the eyes. "You really need to change the trees back to normal." Another thing were the random changes from day to night, as if my eyes weren't already in pain. "And the change of the day cycle is going to drive someone to suicide." It was a jump I know. He curiously turned to me expecting an explanation. "The different lengths of night cycles can lead to sleep deprivation, which a scientific study from where I'm from concluded that it raises the chances of depression and suicidal thoughts." Thank you college for making me read the newspaper.

"But I really want to make the sun and moon my own." This made me give him the strangest look, like he was speaking insanity. "I mean I want to make it more chaotic." He explained sheepishly.

This reminded me of the teletubies, for some strange reason. "You could always have the sun and moon have different faces on them every day. It wouldn't negatively affect anyone and it would still give you a laugh when they discovered it."

I could tell he was imagining the surprised of ponies waking up to find the celestial bodies back on their schedule, only to see funny faces on them. He let out a huge laugh that lasted for awhile. "That would be a better use of my chaos."

We talked about the little things he could do to improve this chaotic place when we reach what I assumed was his castle. A castle was the debatable term, since it looked like someone took pieces of architecture from different times and places and patched them together. There were Greek pillars, Arabian bulbous tops right out of Aladdin, bright gardens that looked like it came from a elvish city in lord of the rings, and even some Nordic buildings sticking out. I may not be one for fashion but this is a disaster.

"You can take the tower over there." He pointed off to a moderately sized tower to the left of the castle. It's not that big but it'll be fine what for I need. We reached the front door of my new residence and he opened the door for me. To my surprise the inside was bigger than the outside. I looked towards Discord to see him hiding a smile and expecting a response from me.

He wants me to make the Doctor Who reference, even if he doesn't know who he is. I could either ignore it and laugh at his disappointment, or I could say something he wouldn't expect. I stuck my head in the doorway and pulled it back out. "Is the entire tower enchanted or just the room?" His joke was ruined but he must have felt pride in the fact he did such a feat.

"While it may have been quite a sum of magic, I did enchant the whole tower to be bigger on the inside." He put his fist over his chest in to boast. So he made the reference himself, that creates more questions about this world. I did give a good look at the size of the inside. It gave me enough room to have a study, a small kitchen, and maybe a workshop. There was a spiral staircase in the middle that I quickly climbed. The floor above was considerably smaller, more like normal. It was bare and had a bed, an end table, and a stool. It's like a college dorm room. "Is it to your liking?" Discord came from the stairs speaking in an English butler type accent.

"This place will work great for what I had in mind." Which is absolutely nothing at the moment. Discord's grin grew bright at my words. "With rooms as big as these I'll be able to test and see my magical capabilities." I could only hope I had the ability to use magic now. A thought came off the top of my head that begged an answer. "Discord? Where are the closest neighbors from your kingdom." I must have hit the nail on the head since he became quite deflated.

"What brought on this question?" He spoke to dodge the question.

"Do you have some past relations with them?" I was taking shots in the dark to create a mental map that lined up with what little information I had. Discord must have felt like I had guessed his secret past with the expression he wore.

"The two alicorn princesses live to the southwest at a castle in the Everfree." He pushed past my last comment and reluctantly gave me directions to them. I went down the stairs and started for the door. "Where are you going?" He snaked himself in front of the door.

"I'm going to tell them my story and that I'll be living here." I pitched him my plan.

"That you're living here? With me?" His reaction was to be expected. I had guessed him becoming king was because of or had caused some distance if they knew each other.

"Do you not want me to?" I must have created a minor ultimatum for him. "Well, with whatever you choose I'm still going to greet them."

"But, Hatter only bad will come of it." He vaguely tried to change my mind.

"Discord...A good neighbor never lets it be a surprise." I put on a gentlemanly like feel. I wonder what these ponies will be like. What is their history? That thought seemed to set something off in me. They must have books of battles and progress with all sorts of things. If I do remember the gryphons are to the west and there was some turmoil between ponies and them. I must have the information. I grinned a very Joker like grin. I walked past him and out the door.

"Wait!" I turned to the doorway to see a very conflicted Discord fighting some internal battle. "I'll go with you. You most likely need a guide anyhow."

My smile increased two fold. "Then, let's meet our friendly neighbors." I strolled away from the castle with Discord floating through the air next to me.

Author's Note

I was going to keep this and the next chapter in one, but this started to become longer and longer, so I split it.

A Hat with Class

(Past: During the reign of Discord)

Discord and I talked about a few things that were happening or had happened in the world so far. It was about as much as I'd imagined. A cutesy and tame world was not this one.

"So you're saying that while the three tribes are separated they've a ceasefire between each other as long as the pegasi fight the gryphons?" I paraphrased what Discord had explained. "And the princess' don't actually have any power as of yet, since their subjects are just ponies that want to privately back them." I looked towards Discord levitating to my left.

"How do you make it sound so...devious?" He gave me a look as if I saw the world in a different light. "Their subjects are just supporters that want to unite the three pony tribes."

"Or...the subjects wanted to gain power a different way and are trying to turn them into puppets." I have him a flat glace to which he looked down. "Dissy my boy, ponies may seem like the happy life to you, but nothing is ever as it seems." He looked up at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Dissy?" He questioned my name for him.

"It's your nickname. It sounds childish, but childish means less threatening which is what ponies need to see." Logic was my forte, or at least I believed it was. "Let's not get off topic. How do you know them exactly?" I gave him a look of suspicion.

Discord looked down and a awkward silence fell in. I believe I already know how they know each other, but the way he's acting he makes it feel like it's like a secret that must never be known. "They...we were..." His indecisiveness is starting to annoy me.

"You were friends with them when you were younger, right?" I twirled my hand in an attempt to move this along. My guess must have been close seeing as his face was like I found his dirtiest secret. "Please Discord, it's not a hard to think that in the past a king of one side and a queen of another were close." His face softened at my verbal train of thought.

"We were very close friends not to long ago." He looked up into the sky and reminisced. I gave him a few minutes with his memories until he finally looked down at the ground. "This is going to be a long story." He wanted to warn me. Great, a childhood friend love story.

"I have a feeling he's going to be explaining more about the world with this." Hat gave a try at keeping me interested.

While I agreed with Hat I also had a feeling it was his story, which filled it with information that was irrelevant. Discord collected himself and started. "My father and I lived up in the north, in a city called Blacklife. Blacklife was surrounded by a powerful barrier that kept out the freezing temperature. Magic let the city live in protection and warmth." Sounds like Dalaran if it wasn't floating in the sky. "The magical technology of Draconequus is far above all else, but that didn't stop them from disappearing."

"Wait, what? What do you mean disappearing? Do you mean they're dead? Or just that no one knows where they went?" His story had intrigued me to no end.

"I don't know if they died, or if they're still alive." He looked down wallowing in his dark past. "My father's job was to dig for magic infused crystals, and since my mother died he had to take me with him when he went to collect them. On one such day my father and I were coming from a cave on the outskirts to find that the barrier was down and the city ablaze." Discord looked up reliving his memories. "Father told me to go back to the cave while he flew towards it and find out what was going on." He started to tear up. "After what seemed like forever the city exploded into a multitude of colors making me shield my eyes. When I opened them Blacklife was gone and a huge crater was in its place."

I let him cry as I gave this some thought. It doesn't sound like the place just exploded. The colors might be some sort of magic, seeing as Discord can control the colors of things and the sun and moon. What truly happened in that town?

"We will need more information if we want the truth." Hat must have felt the same way I did. My gaze returned to Discord wiping his face with his hands.

"Discord" he faced me with eyes that were red "we will find out what happened that day, don't you worry." I gave him a confident smile. I must know and none will stop me.

"Are you alright?" Hat asked in concern.

Perfectly fine... A sly sneer on my face.

Shortly after Discord's explanation we neared a small village which Discord wanted to avoid. I did too because I didn't have a concrete explanation for what I am and why I'm here, but I wanted to know why he would avoid a town in his own kingdom.

"Isn't this place in your kingdom?" I raised a valid point. He looked towards the town and then down at the ground.

"It is...but I think we should avoid it." He looked at me with pleading eyes. I could piece together that he wasn't very welcome, even though he was the king.

"Fine. Are the princesses' castle near here?" I gave a look around.

"They're in the Everfree woods over there." Discord pointed to a forest bordering the village. "We're just a ten minute walk from the castle."

"Then let's get moving." I started the trek to the castle.

Near the forest I could see ponies on in the town doing hard labor. It seemed that there weren't any upper class among them. I could only guess the closer we got to the castle the richer they would be. I checked to see a path that connected the small town into the forest.

"This is the road that leads to them." We both stared down the path. The pause being over, I started walking in only to notice my companion had not followed.

I looked back at Discord to see him zoned out most likely in deep thought unmoving. "What's wrong, aren't you my guide?" I interrupted his concentration and he looked at me with a splice of dread and alarm.

"You're going to have to go on without me, I have to take care of something." He turned away from the road and muttered "and me being there will only make it worse."

I raised my hand to ask him to wait but he was already wisped off somewhere. "Great, I didn't think he would go all the way but this is still pretty far off." I sighed.

A clop of of hoof on cobblestone made me tense. "Halt! Who goes there?" I turned to see a pony in armor that looked like a veteran. He was a light gray color with a charcoal mane. The pony looked at my face and became spooked. He unsheathed a blade and held it in his mouth, waiting to attack.

I need to wear a mask of high class, someone who believes they can even lay eyes on a princess. I closed my eyes and everything slowed, at least in my mind. I am better than the normal man. These insects believe they can speak with me? I am the rich, the powerful mad hatter. And I am better then all of them. I opened my eyes a new man. "I have business to conduct with the princess." My voice was as if I was offended by the guards actions and attitude was arrogant but not enough to warrant a blade. The guard seemed confused, but he sheathed his sword.

"I will lead you to the castle." He must have wanted little to do with me because he didn't ask any more.

"See that you do." I lifted my nose into the air. He turned around and went down the way he came with me close behind.

We reached a newly formed rope bridge where a guard was stationed. The lightish red pony with a rose mane, who I assume was a mare, spotted us coming. She didn't look like she knew what to do. "Sir?" She stood proudly near the side of the path.

"Sweet Aegis. You are to lead this visitor to the princess." He pointed at me with his hoof while the mare looked confused and intimidated.

"But sir-"

"That's an order Sweet." He gave a stern look that made her she wince.

"Sir yes sir!" She replied and the guard turned and went back out into the Everfree. Not before giving me a distasteful look. I looked back at Sweet whose bravery was rapidly degrading. I stood there after getting dumped onto his subordinate guard waiting to be brought over the bridge, while she just stared at my like I was going to attack.

"Well? Are we going or are you going to make me wait longer?" I had almost forgotten myself that I was still in character. Her fear turned into guilt as she looked towards the ground in front of her. Even I started to feel guilty watching her. I'm not this heartless. Maybe if I try to give her some confidence she'll at least smile. While she was looking down to the ground I started towards her. Her matters are not your own, do not be swayed by this simpleton. I blinked a few times.

"Why are you talking to yourself? Just sitting here and doing nothing isn't going to change anything." I stared at her, wanting to say something. I took a deep breathe and saw the flustered mare.

"My name is Mad Hatter. It's nice to meet you." I spoke soft to be less intimidating. The mare finally looked up at me. I gave her a warm smile.

"My name is Sweet Aegis." She started to open up a bit. "I've only just got this work."

"Do you live in the small town outside the forest?" She looked like a lower class, unlike the other guard.

"Yes...I could only get this job through a recommendation. My grandmother made the best confections that even the lords in the castle would partake." There's lords in the castle? I guess all the rich sit near the throne. The mare became depressed again. "When she passed, the head of the guard who was a friend of hers gave me this job."

"She sounds like she lived a happy life." I didn't know what would cheer her up anymore. "I'm sure she would be enlightened to know her granddaughter is a proud guard for the princess." She had a small smile on her lips.

"Oh, We should head to the princesses quickly. The sun will set soon." She whipped around and we headed across the bridge. "Thank you, for saying that."

"I spoke only the truth."

(3rd POV)

The scouts sent out were giving their reports about Discord's rampage across the land. A young Celestia sat upon the throne looking righteous with her little sister to the right of her barely able to stay awake. On the sides of the room were high class pillows which the nobles sat on. They whispered among themselves about what the scout said or the next order of business.

"We received notice that the southern encampments art plagued by shadow walkers. They hast injured a few of the inhabitants but thither hast been nay casualties." The guard stopped and waited for a response.

Celestia never took her eyes off the guard as he spoke, in deep thought after hearing the news. "Send five of the high class mages with the knights and destroy the shades. Ye art cashiered." The guard bowed and exited.

"It would seem that Tartarus hath let loose moo of its beasts upon us." One of the more bigger unicorns spoke from the group. "I believe we shouldst hast guards stationed at the gate all year round. Cerberus would seem to be nothing but a dribbling mongrel."

"I am sorry Mighty Dusk, but we doth not hast enough knights to doth such a thing." Celestia stated to the lord. Mighty Dusk ignored her and went back sipping his glass of wine. Celestia looked towards Luna and saw her head bobbing so near to sleep. "Sister, if you wish to retire for the day you may."

This remark made Luna's eyes go wide open and she rubbed her face with her front leg. "Nay sister I am a princess as much as thou, and I will stay until court is ov'r." Luna had a very serious look on her face. Celestia looked past Luna and few of the nobles chuckle at her remark. Celestia turned forward and frowned from this. She knew the nobles thought Luna as nothing more than a child who thinks they have power, but she could not say against it without undermining the progress.

There was a commotion heard from beyond the doors. The guards must have been quite loud to be heard through the doors. The lord's and noble's conversations stopped as all eyes were on the doors. The talking could be heard and then it went silent. A few of the lords looked between themselves in confusion.

The doors were opened to the two guards stations at the door with another guard and a bipedal creature in a suit behind them. "Thy Majesty, a Lord Hatter is hither to speak to thou." One of the guards holding open the doors announced. Celestia looked at the creature with interest. It looked similar to the fel demons of Tartarus but smaller and wore a top hat. It acted like one of the average lords sitting on the sides, arrogant and conceited.

It took a few steps forward with its nose raised. The guards holding the doors watched hesitantly waiting for a slip up and having to detain it. On the other hand the guard behind him stayed close to him, but not showing any emotion. The creature slowly lifted its hand towards the hat and took it from its head to form a bow. "Your most great and powerful highness, I, Mad Hatter, come to bare only a greeting. Due to magic that was beyond my control I was sent here and I only wished to tell you of my circumstance, in case one of your stalwart knights happen upon me." He, assumed from the voice, had changed completely from an normal lord seen in the castle to a chivalrous knight of honor.

Celestia caught herself from letting her jaw drop. On the other hand most or all of the members present were shocked by this being's way of speech. It was like a cross between formal and common. Celestia glanced at Luna again to see her wide awake and wide eyed, with grin of delight. "Thou only came to betoken us this?" Suspicion was heavy in her tone. Mad Hatter returned the hat to his head and stared her in the eye.

"I may have also wanted some information about this world, as I am not from this place, I thought I would need to know about any enemy I would do to avoid." He spoke in a composed tone as to not commit the same mistake he did with Sweet. "But I do not wish to trouble you or your esteemed guests with my trouble." His voice emphasized that part and Celestia picked up on it. She did see out of the corner of eyes most of them had a face of superiority. She went back to full attention on the being before her.

"Tis not ado to say a few things to be weary of. The demons that thou may encounter escaped from a gate to the north east, past Foal Mountain. The guardian of the gate, Cerberus, may watch the gate but can be overwhelmed at times." She paused to reflect back on the previous news, but became serious and continued. "The other monster thou will hast to look out for is the embodiment of chaos that calls himself Discord." Luna turned to her sister wanting to say something, but stopped herself and looked down. Hatter upon hearing the name showed no surprise and kept a stoic expression. "He is the tyrannical king that lives in the castle to the north west." Celestia took a breathe and the seriousness in her appearance left. A soft smile replaced her face. "I will hast our cartographer give thou a simple map to help."

"You have helped me immensely, I would not ask of you any more, dear caring princess." Hatter bowed once again and left with the guard mare behind him.

A few minutes later Luna spoke up. "I believe I will take you up on your offer to retire early." She stepped down from the throne and left out the main doors. Celestia watched her the entire time and only frowned.

Author's Note

I had a lot of trouble writing this.
I really hate writing the old english so I'm saying that it's only spoken among nobles and for formality sake. Lower class speak a sort of common.

Top of the Hat

(Present Canterlot)

The ponies of Canterlot went about their day like any other. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was out of place. It was just a normal mundane summer day. On this day a certain taxi cart sped down the streets heading to one of the exits. Today was a dangerous day to be on the streets.

"Ah, I'm feeling like today is a coffee day." The Hatter reaches his arm into his hat and pulls out a mug. On the mug was an emblem that resembled a smile sewn together with buttons for eyes. He took a sip and went back to looking at what Canterlot had become. "Nothing beats personally seeing what the world has become." The abnormally fast cart brought a few looks from the ponies walking by. Besides the speed all they saw were two ponies pulling and a silver unicorn sitting in the back having a drink.

Back in the castle Celestia was briefing the captain of the guard while Luna and the elements were in a smaller waiting room. Luna calmly drinking tea her choice of tea. The girls on the other hoof were trying to grasp the situation.

"How could that monster do such a thing, he darkened my coat to a light gray." Rarity was told that she had to wait until Celestia spoke to them, so she couldn't go to the closest bath. "At the very least the coloring isn't patchy."

Twilight spoke among the group then went to muttering possibilities and back again. "The princess said he was under Discord, but all his magic did was a create a big smokescreen. Whereas Discord did so many more problems." She then went to mutter "and was what he did even magic?"

"If he hadn't done that I would have got him in an instant." Rainbow Dash was brooding over not being able to grab him when he was still in her sight.

"Ah'm just glad he didn't make us run another maze, last time didn't turn out that great." Applejack was levelheaded about the whole ordeal.

"He didn't act like a meanie like Discord did, maybe he isn't a big baddie." Pinkie chimed in bringing the rest of the occupants to give her a strange look, with the exception of Luna.

"Pinkie, Celestia said that the Mad Hatter isn't sane, just because he didn't hurt anypony doesn't mean he won't in the future." Twilight gave a good point.

"He seemed pretty angry when the princess was talking about Discord." Fluttershy quietly stated.

Twilight muttered something to herself then sighed. "Putting that aside, I can't understand what those cards had to do with his magic." She took a moment to remember that Luna was in the same room. "Princess Luna, do you know about the Hatter's magic?"

Luna stopped her drink of tea and set it down. She gave a good stoic look at the room's occupants then sighed. "The Hatter...acts differently each time I see him." Everypony in the room had a look of confusion. "Celestia and I met the Hatter shortly after Discord took to power. He showed up like a mysterious prince, but he didn't act like it." Luna looked out a nearby window, eyes filled with nostalgia.

Twilight was the first to break her trip down memory lane "Aren't you exaggerating? He couldn't have changed that much."

Luna's eyes honed in on Twilight like a hawk. "While he always seem to act differently every time I saw him, there was once one time where I knew he spoke from the heart. Maybe if I had accepted his offer this would have turned out differently." Luna lowered her head in a downcast manner. The rest of the room's occupants looked between each other confused.

(After the meeting in the Everfree)

A Mad Hatter walked through the castle with grace and a upper class atmosphere. The mare guard, Sweet Aegis, was barely able to keep up with him. Each time another guard came walking the opposite way Sweet would look more guard-like and less like she didn't know what she was suppose to be doing. He must be searching for something, Sweet thought to herself as she gazed after him. Should I be leading him to the exit or tell one of the other guards?

Hatter finally stopped to find himself at a dead-end. "Well, I'm absolutely lost..." He'd been strolling through the castle taking so many turns it's a surprised he hadn't hit an end sooner.

"You mean you were just lost the entire time?" A scowl plastered onto Sweet's face. "You could have just let me lead you to the exit instead of getting us sidetracked."

"Thou!" A shout came from the entrance of the hallway. A small huffing indigo alicorn came to a stop as the two turned to meet the filly. She looked like she had gone for a few hours of running, or she was trying to keep up with the Hatter speeding down empty hallways looking for a exit. Luna took a deep breathe and collected herself "thou said that thoust just arrived, wouldst thou be needing a placeth to stayeth?" Luna looked like a mix of anxiousness and interest. Sweet looked between them waiting for a answer.

"You're nice..." Sweet squinted at him and twisted her head confused while Luna was just plain surprised, but slightly confused. "But someone already gave me a place to stay and it would be nothing but rude to him to take your offer." Both of the mares had their mouths agape.

"We are a princess and thy going to turneth me down?" Luna looked offended that he would even suggest it.

"Well, yes. I'm not going to be rude to the first friend I made after getting here." A dark glare covered Luna's face. Hatter held a innocent and neutral aura about him. Sweet couldn't do anything besides back up and hope something wasn't going to happen. "Also, does a princess really get talked down to by a room full of stuck up snobs?" Hatter tilted his head and looked down at Luna as she went from anger to shock. While this was going on Sweet had went to her "happy place" and just zoned everything out.

"How dareth thou!" Her rage came back even greater than before. Hatter's eyebrows rose, his head went back slightly, and he braced himself. "Thou talketh down to a princess liketh thou knoweth everything? Thou knoweth nothing, ye art just a just a commoner!" As she finished tears were running down her cheeks. Hatter tried to think of something to fix the situation, but just frowned.

(Hatter POV)

"Wow, you made her cry. Do you also want to burn down an orphanage?" Hat just had to rub it in.

I just wanted to show her that the chumps in there were using her and her sister. From the look of it those snobs didn't even want Luna there. They just wanted to have a headpiece to keep them in power. I focused on Luna to see most of her anger had subsided. I'm not a great thinker so I just did something that would comfort me as a child. With one quick motion I scooped the small mare and brought her into a hug. She was only about a foot smaller than Sweet so there wasn't any real lifting, just having her standing on two hoofs. Her body went stiff from pure shock. I'm sure Sweet's jaw has hit the floor already.

"Oh it has, it's very cartoony." Hat responded.

You can see even when I'm not looking? Mentally I was intrigued, but I tried hard not to physically show it.

"Seems I can...is it strange that I just thought you weren't blinking?" I could feel Hat look deep within himself to find the answer to his own question. Only to have him shrug it off and forget it.

I felt Luna's body go from stiff, to trying to push me away slightly, to limp and crying deeply into my shoulder. I don't know if it's uncomfortable for a pony to be on two legs, but I tried not to think too deeply about it. "It's alright, just let it all out." I tried to remember what the reason for getting yelled at was, even though the conversation wasn't more than a few minutes ago. "Whether anypony likes it or not this path you've chosen is to be a princess, and a princess has more power than some arrogant nobles." Luna sniffled at that and we looked into each others eyes.

There was the sound of a cleared throat from the side. We both looked over at Sweet and then back at each other. Things started getting weird quite fast. I let her go and she took a few steps back. She rubbed her eyes to clear the tears. "Princess if you ever need someone to talk to, like when your sister is too busy, just find me." I bowed before her, hoping to come off as gentlemanly. "It would be my pleasure to have your company." Luna looked at me deeply, her eyes red from the tears.

"Princess..." A deep, stern voice came from the end of the hall. All eyes went to a stallion guard that looked like he'd seen the darkest of the world. His eyes went from the princess to me. Those eyes...I didn't see myself ever talking to him again after this. "I believe 'tis timeth for thy guest to goeth. " His monotone voice made me want to shove a pie straight into his face and see what would happen.

Luna wasn't deterred by him in the least. "I will leadeth them out myself-"

"That won't be necessary. I believe the guardeth next to him was ordered to escort him to the princesses then to the exit." I could tell that was a stab at Sweet. I noticed her look down disappointed in herself. My eyes went back to this guy, he truly was a prick.

"Don't start a fight here, you'll only make it worse." Hat trying to calm the internal fire for this guard.

Kill him, he stands between our plan. I started to collect myself. He won't see it coming when his life is snuffed out. I'll just walk up to him and... I'm thinking about killing this shitty guard with what exactly? How am I suppose to kill him when all I have is a hat and the suit on my back? Well brain, do you have some super secret plan that I don't know about?

Drive his own blade through his chest. Does my brain not think things through?

So you're saying to walk up to a guard who looks like hes been fighting battles for most his life and just take his sword? Wow, it's like I've see a new world. Everything is just opening up for me. I laid the sarcasm out pretty hard. I had already figured out this wasn't my brain I was talking to, nor was it some split personality. It is some evil spirit putting dark thoughts in my head.

"I'm able to pinpoint the location of it" Hat may be a great guy who is just a copy of me, but as I said there's only me, a suit, and a hat. A hat that just happened to have something inside it. "Oh, I guess I thought I had it sealed off."

I just have to ignore the voices in my head so I can waltz right out of here. "Thank you princess but your guard is correct, I only need to be lead by the guard given to me." Luna looked surprised or slightly hurt, couldn't really tell. "I hope we can have another get together again." I started to walk back the way I came past this depressing guard. He gave me a cold and hateful look. I really wanted to punch his guy. Sweet came close behind and as we past the second turn I stopped my disguise. "Your coworker has quite the bedside manner." I looked to Sweet with my anger finally on the surface.

Sweet looked slightly fearful of me. "Let me lead you to the exit." I watched as she went past me still looking at the way we came from. I turned and followed after her.

After a few minutes of silence she continued. "He's one of the highest ranking military here. Yet, here he is watching over the princesses instead of out protecting us. Why do you think that is?" She didn't even look towards me. I had a feeling like this was rhetorical.

"Because of the higher ups would rather use him to rein the princesses in." She turned her head and raised an eyebrow. I just shrugged it off.

"While I want to believe you're wrong, but that seems like the only possible explanation." She hung her head low in a depressing behavior. I had a feeling she didn't like how things were being run. We walked in silence from then on.

(3rd POV)

The two had finally reached the exit of the castle. Hatter spoke up first. "Finally out of that damn confusing place." He turned to Sweet who seemed done for the day. "You know Sweet If you ever need help or just want to talk things out you can always come to me." He pointed his thumb at his chest in an overly cliche pose. Sweet only tiredly looked at him. "I'm going to be living at this really flashy place to the north west." Sweet changed to a look of questioning but didn't say anything. "TTFN ta ta for now" Hat gave a wave and walked down the path. A warm and fulfilled smile spread across her face.

Author's Note

Sorry about the wait, but I've trying to figure out what to write. I lost a small part of the story when I saved over what I wrote with a backup, but it was nothing major. Hardest part about this chapter was the bit where the mane 6 were talking to each other. Next chapter will be back in the present. (yay)
Still no editor, so tell me about all the mistakes I've made. I'll read the chapter over again in the morning, going to get some sleep.

From the Ground to the Hat

(Canterlot)

A certain taxi went to and fro, around the corners of Canterlot's streets. Its speed made patrolling guards gawk and try to give chase, only to round a corner and find it had disappeared. If there were laws about cart speeds this one would have broken them all by now. The taxi started to slow as it went into a different part of the city. While most places in Canterlot had ponies brimming the sidewalk this particular place had little to none. This part of the city was commonly called "Old Canterlot." It was the type of place where you wouldn't ever bring your kids, nor would you ever want to walk around here alone at night. As Canterlot had grown over the years each generation of architecture would expand outward leaving the already built parts to fix their problems and upgrade. The only problem is that pockets of the older buildings wouldn't change and would fall behind in the dust. This certain part was the worst of the worst. The buildings that weren't already in disrepair looked like they hadn't been refurbished in decades.

As the taxi cart passed by eyes from the alleyways would look at it for a few seconds then disappear from sight. The Hatter looked around at this run down piece of Canterlot with a wide grin. He would look down each alley the cart passed and call out "changeling!" or "mugger!" until the cart slowed to a halt. Hatter looked up at the half broken sign that read "Lost Fable." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Still smells the same as always. Like alcohol and puke." The silver unicorn stepped out of the cart and walked to the door. He turned around to the ones who were pulling the cart. "You guys go back and get your next orders." The two hesitated for a few seconds and looked between each other. Then nodded to the him and sped off at a ludicrous speed. The Hatter watched them turn the corner and finally went inside the shop.

"Were closed!" a mare yelled out from behind a counter. It wasn't quite a shop as more a makeshift bar. Cheap bar stools lined up near a hastily made counter. On the right and left walls were what looked like notes and wanted posters. The mare finally finished with whatever she was doing and raised her head above the counter only to have a sharp blade held in a red magic. She had a blood red coat with a light pink mane. With a permanent scowl on her face her jade eyes narrowed at the silver intruder. The Hatter walked up to the counter and gave her a wink. She went in with the blade to give him a warning cut only to hear his voice.

"How's my little Peachy doing?" Her face went from anger to outright surprise as her magic completely shut off making the blade go flying. The blade became embedded in the entrance door. She stood in complete unmoving shock as the silver unicorn wiggled his eyebrow. This went on for longer than it should have. The Hatter's smile drooped as the awkward moment went on. He looked up down at the mare. Then he just shrugged and pulled out a big bottle of Jack Daniels out of his hat. He unscrewed the top and drank straight from the bottle. The mare came back to reality after he had drank half of it. She looked over the unicorn from top to bottom recording every detail.

"Fuck my life" she muttered to herself as her hoof hit her face. The Hatter turned to face the mare with a drunk smile. "To what do I owe the honor would you suppose?"

"You're not happy to see me?" he pouted.

"Oh, I'm so happy to see you master. It feels like my birthday and hearths warming came early." She replied sarcastically. "So, I'll ask again why the hell are you here and why do you look like that?"

"Well I lost Cain somewhere along the way and need to go see Kar. To answer why I look like this you can thank my changeling magic disguise." Hatter's hoof lifted up to his forehead, just below his hat, and pulled off an invisible card. When he did his body went back to his normal bipedal form. He propped his hat up slightly and the card was sucked into it like a vacuum. "Anyways, is your tunnel working Peach?"

The mare let out an audible sigh and shook her head. "Yes, of course it's working, it's just in the basement." She pointed to the door behind the counter. "Just hurry up and get out of here, I have to open up soon."

Hatter jumped over the uneven counter only to fail the landing and fall to the floor. He shot up from the floor and brushed off his suit. "I'm fine." The mare only rolled her eyes at his antics.

Peach Bounty was a construct made about four decades ago by the request of Cain. He had asked for more units be stationed in Canterlot in preparation for the lunar princess' return. Peach was one of many units that were made or moved. When Peach came into being she asked if she could work at a fruit shop. That alone being the reason her given name was Peach. She rolled the dice of fate and it gave her nothing but snake eyes. In any case upon her arrival she wasn't met with a fruit shop, nor a shop at all, just a worn down building with a dead shop keeper inside. Peach did the one thing that felt natural to her in the situation. She freaked out from here to the moon.

"This is where you'll be stationed." Cain spoke to the mare as if nothing was amiss. Peach on the other hand lay in the fetal position in the corner of the room. Cain turned to Peach speaking calm and clear. "The owner started to catch onto his abnormal customers hangout spot. The master order us not to harm him unless he went to far, and you can see how that turned out. Started saying that we were scaring away normal ponies, and that unless we told him information about ourselves to prove we weren't criminals he wouldn't service us." Cain only shook his head at the memory. "The master told me to tell him the short version about us and what we are. If nothing more than to see his reaction." Cain's eye narrowed forward staring off at the imaginary scene. "The old stallion didn't take it very well, just had a heart attack right then and there."

Peach could barely keep calm on here the story, but when it reached its end she was surprised. "You didn't kill him?"

Cain turned to her with a raised brow. "Master prides himself on not having any of us kill. He becomes extremely disappointed in any of us when we go straight to murder." Peach could only watch dumbfounded at hearing this. Cain had a similar reaction finding the young construct thought killing would be a norm for him. "I don't know what you've heard from the others but we try to find any other way to accomplish our orders then to end someone's life." This gave Peach a new light in her life. Cain having finished his speech went over the stallion's body. "I've already collected his soul, so I'll be cleaning up his body." Peach's ears perked up on hearing this.

"What do you mean his soul?" She didn't know much about what she was nor how she came into being. She only got information about how to be scout and general customs at the point in time. Listen to conversations from afar, try not to get noticed, keep a cover identity. Knowing how to create more of us was a engineers job, or at least Peach believed that.

Cain parted his yarn-like chest to reveal a pocket. He reached in and pulled out a card. The card had a five in the top left corner and the image in the center was a blue vortex. He faced the card at the corpse and after a few seconds it activated. Out of the card came a liquid that looked like it was alive. It was the same coloring as the card's image. It extended further until it touched the body. Peach watched in awe as the magic covered the body to the point where it wasn't visible anymore. Then, slowly, the dark fluid returned into the card not even leaving a trace of the death. Cain put the card back into the hole in his chest and continued on. "I'll give his body a proper burial. For now the ownership of this place will be transferred to you. Just give me your name."

Peach could only feel like she was left out of the loop about everything. She did feel a connection to the being in front of her, but at the same time it felt like she was seeing this whole new side of the world. She shook her head and centered her mind. "The name I was given is Peach and you didn't answer my question." She angrily stared at Cain.

Cain only rolled his one eye at her. "You'll find out soon enough seeing as the master has been listening in." Those words visibly spooked the mare near him. She looked around as if trying to find where the master might be listening from. "He listens through you when he wants to, and I'll need a second name." Hearing this made the mare uncomfortable, but she pushed through.

"I don't have a second name. What's wrong with just Peach?" She looked slightly worried.

Cain only shrugged to at her. "It's too general of a name, there's a possibility it might become a problem down the road.

"How about Bounty? Peach Bounty." A voice that came from nowhere made itself known. The mare in question shot up into the air and nearly hit her head on the ceiling and landed back with a loud stomp. She quickly spun her head around trying to find the invisible interloper in a sporadic fashion.

"Peach Bounty it is then." Cain continued on ignoring the mares paranoid mannerisms.

"Who was that! Where did it come from! How are you so calm about this!" Peach yelled at Cain with fear covering her face.

"I am the Mad Hatter, because I'm mad as a hatter." The voice spoke with audible satisfaction and continued. "I have to say that, it's in the contract."

Cain let out a sigh. "That is the master and he speaks directly to your mind. In any case I must get this all filed." He spoke quickly and bolted out the door. Peach could only just hear him mutter "not my problem anymore."

The rigid silence set in the broken down bar after his departure. Leaving the mare alone attempting to stay calm. She looked around as if expecting the invisible entity to show up. "So..." she spoke up breaking the rooms silence "you hear what I'm saying?"

"That is correct," the Hatter answered. "This can also be used by the lead engineer to contact you." It seemed to unnerve the mare knowing that someone could just look in on her brain when they wanted. While she had been programmed to always trust the Mad Hatter, she still didn't feel right about the whole thing. "You seem to have questions so just ask them."

She collected the courage to speak to the 'master' in her head. "He said something about collecting souls?" She peered up at the ceiling as she spoke like she was speaking to a deity in the sky.

"Yes, most scouts and knights go around collecting the souls of the living." Hearing this sent a cold shiver down her back, Hatter picked up on this. "You're not in a family of necromancers. The souls come from voluntary donors." She wore a skeptical look on her face as she listened to her telepathic master.

"I don't think a pony would say 'yes' when a strange reaper of souls asks if they want to die." She retorted half sarcastically.

"The ponies we ask are on the verge of death as it is..." The conversation took a dark turn. "We ask ponies that wandered into the forest only to be attacked by a chimera, or hospitalized patients that can't be cured of their sickness. That being said, it's not uncommon to be told that they don't want a second life."

Peach sympathized with those ponies that didn't want this new chance. Sure you would get a new body and already have a job. Maybe even live much longer than the normal pony. But you're giving up your soul, your morality, who you are. During the time she had to think the information over she came to a realization. "...Did I have a life before this?" That's right, if each member who worked for collected these souls were created then those souls must be used to create them, even her.

"Well your soul didn't appear out of thin air. Each construct made needs a soul to have a living mind."

"If that's true why don't I have any memories of my past life?" She asked not sure if she wanted to find out.

"It takes time and the desire for your past. I also hear that meditating is a good way to get them faster." The mare still didn't know if finding out her past was a great idea. "You don't have to if you don't want to, they aren't going to disappear over time."

She wanted to move past the whole morbid conversation and get to work on her new place of work. "So I have to turn this dump into a bar..."

Back then the Hatter had about four things he could do while sitting in his stone prison, thinking, plotting, scheming, and talking to the ones he called family. While most wouldn't call what he had a 'family,' it was the only thing keeping his sanity in check. That, and wearing one damn good hat.

As the Mad Hatter went for the door to the basement, there was a sound of a door opening behind him. Peach was the first one to act as she quickly pulled out a short blade from behind the counter. When the Hatter is going to be found the first priority is to kill before the alarm is raised. Her blade went with enough force and speed to slice any intruder in two. Said intruder had other plans as he yanked the first knife from the wall and deflected the incoming weapon.

The whole interaction shocked Peach Bounty as her only fighting over the years were a thief and a mugger. She shook her head and gave the one in front of her a good look. The approaching invader was a griffon with silver wingtips, had a scar over his left eye, and a sword with a blade hilt strapped to his him. She knew exactly who she was dealing with just by looking at him. The Hatter finally turned around after hearing the clash of swords.

"Oh, hey Cain when'd you get here." Hatter spoke with a happy-go-lucky smile plastered over his face.

"Master...you understand we agreed to meet up when we would leave through the front of Canterlot, right?" Peach knew what her boss looked like in disguise. Him and others would meet to speak in her bar. Something she hadn't seen however was a visibly angry Boss. He had been the calm and monotone boss that never raised his voice, but now...he was livid.

Hatter stuck his head out and turned it about forty-five degrees with a face that said 'did I say that?' He then promptly rubbed his hands of the thought and answered. "Well, all that matters is that you're here now." Cain could only sigh at his disorganized master.

"Sorry for attacking you Cain-"

"No, don't apologize, you did the correct action. If it had been an enemy and you didn't kill them, the master might have been hurt." Cain interrupted her and spoke of order. He handed her the tool and she took it in her magic. His claws reached for his forehead and pulled off an invisible card, exactly like the one his master had. This reverted him back to his slightly shorter bipedal form.

"Let's head through the tunnel." Hatter spoke in quite the excited manner as he opened the door and headed down the stairs behind it.

Cain walked to the opening and turned to Peach. "Thank you for keeping him safe..." He then went down the stairs.

Peach Bounty stood in the now empty bar questioning what just happened. She had seen something that she would guess barely anyone would see, an emotional Cain.

Hatter and Cain stood in the basement that was about two stories below the bar. They watched a metal contraption as it spun to life. The 'tunnel' was not a literal tunnel, but a machine that used magic to cast teleportation on the occupants in a circle. Inside the center of the machine was a card with a picture with a blue and orange portal, and a five in the top left corner. On the top of the machine stood a half empty container with a bright white liquid inside.

Hatter turned to his knight with a face like a kid in a candy store. "You ready to go back to the past? To play the shitty games that sucked ass?"

The knight only rolled his eye, "Were teleporting, not time traveling."

"Where were going we won't need roads." His smile encompassed his face, "but we'll always need hats." The machine quieted down to signify that it had stabilized. They both walked into the circle and stood near the center. A bright, white light surrounded them as they were warped away.

Author's Note

This was supposed to be quick. Peach getting a backstory was just a tangent that my brain had. So I turned it into a sort of explain how the Hatter works. Next chapter will be the last of the 'what happened in the past.'