The Adventures of Pinkie Pie, into the World of Legends

by Vespi

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 7885

Pinkie Pie is given a special duty from Princess Celestia, a duty no other pony has..

Pinkie Pie is given orders from Princess Celestia to be the first pony into a new world, a spell created by Princess Celestia so powerful it could rock the world all of Equestria lived in. Pinkie Pie was about to enter the world of Legends

***

This is basically a series of short fics about pinkie Pie and various cross overs, want a crossover done? Comment on the last chapter and ill see what is most popular!

Enjoy the Pinkie Pie related awesomeness!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-28 22:39:39 UTC

Pinkie Pie the Assassin

Pinkie Pie opened the oak door to Twilight Sparkles house; it was a beautiful day outside. The small town of Ponyville was in the midst of a gorgeous spring of almost perfect weather. Pinkie Pie was her normal self, bursting with joy…but today she was even happier. Pinkie Pie had gotten a note from her friend (In an unusually sloppy handwriting, but definitely from Twilight nonetheless)

Pinkie Pie come to my house right now! Princess Celestia left you a message and she taught me and an amazing new spell! You have to come QUICK! Princess Celestia said so!

-Twilight Sparkle

What could it be? Pinkie Pie almost exploded into an excited frenzy when she saw Twilight Sparkle appear from the next room.

“Hey Twilight Sparkle! What is it that the princess wanted? What is it about?” Pinkie Pie asked in her rushed manner. Her Pinkie Pie senses were definitely tingling! SOMETHING AWESOME WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

“Here Pinkie Pie, this is a royal order from Princess Celestia!” Twilight said, levitating a scroll over to her jittery pink friend “She was just hear to teach me this amazing spell!”

Pinkie Pie grabbed the scroll and began to read out loud

Dear Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie giggled “That’s me!”

I understand that you are one of my apprentices best friends, and you are the element of laughter after all. What I am about to reveal to you is no laughing matter though. I have learned of a spell so powerful us equestrians can interact with other life forms! Knowing your cunning skills and your pinkie pie senses, I want you to be the first pony in. You will  be rewarded handsomely of course for every time you go through the barrier between Equestria and the rest of the universe. Don’t forget lots of pictures for memories!

Your majesty, Princess Celestia”

“Wow a new universe thingy!” Pinkie Pie squealed in awe “Can we go there now? Can we Twilight can we?”

“Princess Celestia did teach me how to do the spell, but Pinkie Pie couldn’t it be dangerous?” Twilight questioned cautiously.

“Relax Twilight, my Pinkie senses will kick in!” Pinkie Pie said with  a proud smile.

Twilight looked a little tense, but agreed with her friend, she went into the other room and began to read over a spell written on a page in a book.

“Okay ready Pinkie Pie?” Twilight Sparkle asked, preparing the spell at the very moment.

“Okidokiloki!” Pinkie Pie said. Twilight concentrated all of her power into her horn and a aura of purple light shot out from it, enveloping Pinkie Pie in a intense light. Pinkie Pie looked down at her 4 bright pink hooves and the oak floor beneath it. When the light faded off the floor wasn’t oak anymore.

Pinkie Pie looked up,

“Holy moly” Pinkie Pie muttered, she was in whole different world! Instead of ponies there were different creatures though. They stood on 2 legs instead of 4 and had clothes on! Pinkie Pie also noticed that they all seemed to be Earth ponies…or Earth things!

“Holy Jesus of Bethlehem!” One of them shouted at Pinkie Pie “It is a pink horse!”

All of the creatures then began to crowd around Pinkie Pie, all looking with the same stunned facial expression.

“What is it!?” One asked, beginning to pray

“It is a sign from god!” One said, he was wearing a white robe and over that a light crimson cloth that wrapped around his shoulders “He has faith in humanity!”

“Humanity?” Pinkie Pie asked “I’m Pinkie Pie!”

All of the “humans” recoiled in horror, or perhaps it was shock.

“IT SPEAKS ENGLISH! IT IS A SIGN FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT!” the white robed man screamed

All of the other humans then began to bow down at Pinkie Pie’s hooves, as if she was a goddess.

Pinkie Pie stifled a giggle, she wanted to laugh her hooves off, but she didn’t want to disgrace the Equestrian race either!

Once the first wave of shocked people came by Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie as left alone and now almost blending in; but she still didn’t know where she was!

“Hey where am I mister?” Pinkie Pie asked a stranger. He was wearing a gilded chest plate (Similar to those worn by the Royal Guards) and had a similar helmet on top, jetting out was an obtrusive red plum.

“What does it matter to you cavallo? The guard asked, pinkie Pie then noticed three other similar garbed guards next to the first. All of them were leaning up against a wall and seemed to be in the middle of a casual conversation.

“Silly you I’m not a cavallo I’m a Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie said, she couldn’t resist the temptation though anymore. She had to show these people how to do a musical!

“My name is Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie began, trying out her new “Smile” song on the grumpy guards.

“What is the matter with this cavallo? Shouldn’t you be brown or something” A second guard questioned, he was wearing a beret instead of a helmet and his breast plate wasn’t gilded, he got up from his position against the wall and approached Pinkie Pie, stopping right next to the first guard.

“Sorry mister, but Gryphons are brown” Pinkie Pie said

“Ooooo looks like we got a cavallo parlante?” The first one said, he gave Pinkie Pie an intimidating shove. It wasn’t a real shove, but more or less a threat.

“What are these hoopy doopy words?” Pinkie Pie asked. She wasn’t a little foal anymore, but she had never heard of words like parlante or cavallo!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOO now our language is stupid you little rosa bambino!” The second guard said, he twisted his hips a little to show Pinkie Pie a scabbard, inside was a sword.

“But why are you talking in two different languages?’ Pinkie Pie asked she was beginning to sweat profusely; she didn’t want to go back to princess Celestia and have to tell her she failed! Even worse, she didn’t want to get hurt!

“BECAUSE WE CAN YOU RAPA!” The first guard pulled out his sword, it was a medium sized sword with a blue hilt, its steel was reflecting the sun, for a little bit. Pinkie Pie noticed a moving shadow appeared right on top of the sword and its user. The next thing Pinkie Pie knew a white cloaked man had landed on top of the guard and had stabbed him in the neck.

The other three guards were baffled but not frightened. The second guard pulled out his sword and lunged at the mysterious stranger. The white cloaked man ,however, was smart and dodged the attack, he brought his knife (Only perhaps 6 inches long and concealed at his wrist) right to heads length with the guard and swished the air. The guard dropped to the ground life less.

The other two guards expressions changed from black to white. Instead of the meancing and brutal looking guards from before, the two survivors turned blanched white and ran for help, screaming and constantly looking back.

“I am sorry you had to see that” The man said, he put his hand out to formally meet Pinkie Pie. Like all humans, he was about the same size as Pinkie Pie, just a bit taller. He had a white robe on and ornate steel armor and greaves.

“My name is Ezio Auditore de Firenze” The man said “I am the great assassin of Rome!”

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie de Ponyville, the great baker of Mr. Cake’s cake shop!” Pinkie Pie said, shaking Ezio’s hand.

“Okay…” Ezio said “I have some important business to attend to, it might not be safe to stay with me”

“Please can I can I? Pinkie Pie begged “I really really really REALLY want to see what humans do!”

Ezio looked like he was about to turn down pinkie Pie’s offer, but after Pinkie Pie lashed out the puppy dog face Ezio finally agreed

“Fine, but please be careful this could be dangerous” Ezio said.

“Okidokiloki I’ll be the best assassin but you have ever seen!” Pinkie Pie said “Can I get a white robe too? Please please PLEASE!”

“Sorry Pinkie Pie” Ezio said “My only spare is in the cleaners, perhaps some other time”

Pinkie Pie followed her “Assassin buddy” for several blocks, whenever Ezio had to walk on the sidewalks (he walked center stage in the middle of the road) many people would run in doors or into dark back alleys.

They finally made it to a gate; standing in front of Pinkie Pie was an assortment of other people, all of whom seemed to be friendly with Ezio.

“Are we ready to kill these Templar bastardi or what Ezio?” One aske,d he was a brawny looking fellow, wearing a pinstriped blue shirt and on his side was a massive sword, almost larger than Pinkie Pie!

“Anytime you are ready Bartolomeo” Ezio said, patting Bartolomeo on the shoulder. That was when the group’s attention switched form the “amazingly awesome bad ass assassin’ to the “Adorable pink fluffy pony”

“Umm brother” One asked “What is that?”

“This is Pinkie Pie” Ezio said, pointing to the smiling little pony.

“Hi I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie said, waving to the group of people. “I like to bake, cook, eat stuff, baby sit, fish, laugh, sing, I also-“

“That is enough Pinkie Pie” Ezio said “We have a job to do today, FOR ZE BROTHERHOOD!”

The “brotherhood” cheered and walked towards the massive gate facing them. In front of it was a handful of guards, but instead of the other guards these seemed far more elite. Their swords were thicker and stronger looking; they wore massive armor that cloaked them from head to toe. On their chest plates was a small icon of a red lion.

“If we prevail today, which we will” Pinkie Pie was listening to a speech from what seemed to be their leader. He was wearing a cape and no helmet, showing smooth and silky black hair.

“I shall give each one of you TWO girl scout cookies, of your choice of course.”  He said “TWO I SAY! WE CAN NOT LOSE!”

Ezio stepped forwards, instantly the two sides met face to face, there was a solemn silence in the air.

“It is a shame you lie to your men about girl scout cookies Cesare when we all know who carries the apple!” Ezio revealed a small golden sphere from his left palm. It was giving off a faint glow…

“I doubt it Ezio! My army is coming nearer and nearer to this very gate every minute!” The leader said “The Borgia will prevail today!”

“Nevah!” Bartolomeo shouted, raising his massive sword above his head.

“Hang on both of you!” Pinkie Pie said, she didn’t want to start any trouble but she had to speak out against this “Why are you all even fighting! Why can’t we all get along?”

The both sides got silent once again, which was surprising considering there was a massive crowd forming around them.

“I…never thought of that” Cesare said

“Yea… I mean like why are we even fighting?” Ezio said, dropping the apple to his side.

“Yea…” Cesare said, awkwardly kicking the ground with his boot. For a moment, for a moment only, there was complete silent.

“But your Girl Scout cookies are still gay” Ezio muttered under his breath

“FOTTITI STRONZO!” Cesare screamed, unsheathing his sword and running like a mad man towards Ezio. His guards followed after him.

“Pinkie Pie takes this!” Bartolomeo shouted, he tossed a small dagger into the air. Pinkie Pie managed to catch it without cutting herself.

The four assassins blitzed the guards and quickly annihilated them, not a single one of the assassins getting hit. Ezio himself used the magic apple to his advantage, sending shock wave after shock wave to impair his enemies, after every hit they just fell down as if nothing had happened…except they were dead.

Pinkie Pie didn’t really know how to comprehend the situation, so she did the most logical thing. Make it into a song!

Yeaa so I’m in a different world!

Yeaa and for some reason everyone is dieeeeeing

Yea!

Hopefully Ezio will win!

Yea!

AND MAYBE WE CAN GO GET SOME ICE CREAM!

Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but sing now, sing so loud that Cesare for a crucial split second was distracted, Ezio took the moment to knee Cesare square in the groin.

Pinkie Pie didn’t want to hurt anymore, so she just stood back and watched, she eventually found a popcorn vender and sat down to watch the mayhem.

After a brief moment of sword slashing, apple explosions and Cesare screaming “GUARDS KILL THOSE N00BS!” there were no Borgians, only assassins.

“Drop your arms Cesare” Ezio said “You have been defeated!”

Cesare gave out a sinister smile “Am I really? Look behind me Ezio! Micheletto and my men gather behind me and we shall take back my city once and for all!”

“Not really Cesare” Micheletto said, stepping forward with two guards. He pulled out a scroll and cleared his voice

“Under Pope Alexander the VI you are under arrest for Treason, murder, incest and being a douche”

The two guards each grabbed Cesare by a shoulder and dragged him away.

“NOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOOO NOT LIKE THIS! CHAINS WILL NOT HOLD ME! I WILL NOT DIE BY A MANS HAND!”

Cesare was dragged off by his own men.

“Vittoria per l'assassino! The four shouted, waving their bloody swords and happiness about.

“We have won the day brothers!” Ezio said, he got down on one knee and loked deep into pinkie Pie’s eyes “But we have Pinkie Pie to thank for it, your song inspired us to win today”

Pinkie Pie was surprised “Really you liked it!?”

“It saved the day” Ezio said “And as a token of gratitude we know you can’t stay in our world… but we want to honor you as a hero of the brotherhood. We want you to be a full-fledged assassin!”

“Really?” Pinkie Pie asked, nearly squeeing in delight “You truly mean it!?”

“I mean it” Ezio said with a smile “In fact we might of found our Brotherhood's theme song. We shall now do the assassins ritual”

“What is that?” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly “Leap of faith? Victory party? PARADE!? MUSICAL!??”

“Nope!” Bartolomeo “We shall now have a nice Italian family dinner. I shall cook the pasta, Ezio will make the garlic bread, La Volpe will supply the wine, and Claudia  shall make the sauce, you can help if you want Pinkie Pie”

“Can I make…cupcakes?” Pinkie Pie asked

“…What is a cup-cake?” Bartolomeo asked with a quizzical expression

“I’ll show you!” Pinkie Pie said

***

Dear Princess Celestia

I had a great day today, I learned all about other creatures in the universe! Today I went to Italy in the 1600s! I met this cool guy named Ezio! We killed bad guys together and then went home and he taught me how to make an old fashion Italian dinner! I taught them how to make cupcakes of course, it was amazing really. They showed me all their amazing human contraptions but they had never invented a cupcake! I can’t wait to go back into their world again!

Also…I kind of didn’t learn anything…except don’t pick white wine for Ditalini with Alfredo sauce! Everyone gets really pissed for some reason!

Signed, Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie looked up from her writing, Twilight Sparkle levitated the paper up and handed it to Spike. He then sent it on its way to Princess Celestia.

“So are you serious pinkie Pie? You saw another type of life?” Twilight asked, she was completely awe struck at the entire thing.

“Yup!” Pinkie Pie said “And we killed baddies, and we had dinner, and I taught them how to make cupcakes! It was so cool!”

“That’s good to hear Pinkie” Twilight said, she gave a shy little yawn and got up from her bean chair “I am going to go to bed now Pinkie Pie, good night”

“Wait uh Twilight?” Pinkie Pie asked “Can you sent me into their world one more time!?”

“Pinkie Pie, I’ll do it tomorrow!” Twilight said already leaving the room. Pinkie Pie saw herself out and headed back to her house, it was already 9 P.M. and what was a perfect spring day had turned into an almost frigid night, she couldn’t wait for the next day. She pulled out a small picture of the group at the dinner table, everyone was smiling and in the middle of eating. She placed the small picture on her night stand.

Hopefully i'll get more pictures she though

What adventure would she have then!? Would she see Ezio again!? Or see some other human!? What will happen!?

WHO'S NEXT!?

YOU DECIDE!

comment for what you want to see next? What do you guys want to see? Let's see the votes!

-Vespi

Noble 7

Twilight woke up the next morning relatively tired, she felt physically depleted from the night before and it was a difficult task to keep her eyes open.

“How are you feeling Twilight?” Spike asked

“Terrible” Twilight muttered, she headed into her kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee

“Do you think Pinkie Pie is coming back?” Spike asked “I still have soooo many questions about her adventure!”

“Shhhhhh” Twilight murmured, putting a hoof up to her mouth “She might hear you and come back”

Spike began to laugh “O Twilight! That is ridiculous!”

Like the push of a button, there was an excited pony knocking on Twilight’s door.

“I’ll get it!” Spike announced cheerfully, he walked past the library and opened the oak door, only for a pink blur to flash by him and knock him on his bottom, the pink blur shot through the library and headed right towards Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight gave out a aggravated yawn “What do you want Pinkie Pie!?”

“Can you send me back please please please! I won’t bother you for the entire day!” Pinkie Pie pleaded, speaking at one hundred words a minute.

“Please not right now” Twilight said “Please just let me wake up first!”

“Fine, fine, fine” Pinkie Pie said, she jumped onto a nearby chair and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“I want to go back into their world soooooo much! I wonder how Bartolomeo did with the cupcakes!” Pinkie said, partially talking to herself, partially to her disgruntled friend.  Bartolomeo didn’t seem to be the brightest guy on the block, but he sure was resourceful!

“Did I tell you about my song!” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly “Ezio wants me to make it into a theme song for the brotherhood!”

Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure what was worst. Having to be bugged by Pinkie Pie, or having to listen about Pinkie Pie’s odyssey. Twilight Sparkle put down her cup of coffee and waved over to Pinkie Pie

“O hey Pinkie Pie, I want to show you something”  Twilight said, pinkie Pie followed Twilight into a vacant room. There was a desk in the middle of the room and several walls of books flanking the desk. Pushed into one corner was a dinky looking bed.

“Princess Celestia wanted me to give you a ‘real’ work station!” Twilight said “If you want you can use this room to collect data, put pictures, or whatever you want.”

“O cool!” Pinkie Pie said “Mind if I pinkitize it?”

Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie “Pinkitize?”

“Silly you don’t you read the dictionary?” Pinkie Pie asked she ran into the other room and grabbed a dictionary; she flipped the pages until she found the “P” section, and she shoved the book into Twilight’s face.

“See? Pinkitize! The process of turning any object/person/or subject into something resembling Pinkie Pie” Pinkie Pie said

Twilight gave Pinkie Pie a blank expression “Why are you in the dictionary!?”

“I’m not sure!” Pinkie Pie said, throwing the book aside “LETS PINKIE THIS PLACE UP!”

It took only half an hour or so, thanks to the mysterious powers of pinkie Pie. The walls were now a sprightly color of pink and yellow and cyan, the bed had been upgraded and was now a mire of pink pillows. The entire room looked far more…pinkitized.

“Okay can we go back to the human world now!? Please please please Twilight!?” Pinkie Pie begged, getting down on her knees

“Okay Pinkie Pie” Twilight said, she walked into the other room for a split moment and came back with a book, she found the right page and an aura of purple light once again appeared form her horn and it zapped pinkie Pie once again.

Pinkie Pie wasn’t in the binary anymore, she was on a cliff, above she saw a weird looking machine flying above, following it were two even weirder looking machines that were purple and green. The first machine was beginning to smoke and a fire began to start, Pinkie Pie saw two figures standing out of a hatch behind the machine.

“Okay you two” Carter shouted. A fusillade of plasma fire from one of the banshee’s hit one of the wings, causing a small fire to occur. “I’m going to stay in the Pelican, you two go on foot to the target location, m’kay?”

Emile looked at Carter with an aggravated face, so aggravated Carter could see the very face through the opaque visor.

“Can’t you just out run these things?” Emile asked, jamming another grenade round into his grenade launcher

“No gas is expensive nowadays! ”Carter said “Besides we are going to get shot down, they are looking for you two anyways!”

Emile looked over to Noble 6 and nodded “Okay, on 3 bro”

“1”

“2”

“THREE!”

Emile fired one final round from his launcher, destroying one of the banshees before jumping out of the moving helicopter, Noble 6 followed, both knew that their armor was more than capable of protecting themselves  from a little fall.

Emile landed firmly on th ground, rolling once on his knees before getting up, taking his shotgun off his back. Noble 6 landed right next to him, his assault rifle already in hand.

“O hi I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie shouted, she didn’t mean to startle the two soldiers, but it was clear that they were shocked. Pinkie Pie had jumped from around a wall and almost clung to Emile, if Noble 6 hadn’t grabbed Emile Pinkie Pie would have been picking shotgun shell out of her mane!

“What the hell is that!?” Emile asked, his voice devoid of emotion

“I’m a Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie Pie said “Nice to meet you!”

“Dawwwwwwwwwwwww ITS SO CUTE” Emile said, he picked Pinkie Pie up by the tail and hugged her “She’d make a good bullet shield too!”

“Okay you can stop now Emile” Noble 6 said

“Hey do any of you guys know Ezio Auditore de Firenze?” Pinkie Pie asked

Emile and Noble 6 looked at each other with a quizzical expression, even in their silence it was apparent that neither of them knew about him.

“Listen we are kind of in the middle of a secret dangerous operation” Emile said, cocking his shotgun

“Ooooo can I come!?” Pinkie Pie asked

“…but you’re a fluffy pony” Noble 6 said

“But I am a good assassin! Watch Ezio showed me this!” Pinkie Pie said, before she left Ezio had taught her his renowned “Leap of Faith”. Pinkie Pie sprinted towards a nearby cliff and jumped, Ezio had taught her the first rule of his world quote

“No matter what happens, whatever EVER happens, there is a pile of safe hay under every view point jump.”

But when Pinkie Pie looked down there was no hay stack, only a couple blots.

Pinkie Pie ended up landing on the back of some sort of alien though, which was pretty lucky, Pinkie Pie thought she’d get some sort of achievement, she thought she’d even get an achievement for the alien’s face after she landed on its back.

The aliens mouth was a pincer sort of mouth, teeth lined each side of the queer looking head.

“THERE IS A HUMAN ON MY BACK!” the elite said “SHOOT EET!”

“Don’t worry we will help you!” A grunt shouted, he pulled out his trusty plasma pistol and began shooting, sadly guns and mushroom people don’t go together, all three rounds missed Pinkie Pie and hit the Elite, which enraged him.

“YOU ARE TERRIBLE! YOU MAKE THE ROOKIE LOOK LIKE JORGE!” The livid Elite shouted, he brought up his grotesque leg and kicked the one grunt like a football, sending him straight into a canyon wall.

“I’ll help you sir!” a second grunt answered, impaling the elite with his needle gun

“CAN’T YOU IDIOTS DO ANYTHING USEFUL?” The elite shouted, shooting the grunt rapidly with his plasma repeater. Eventually from the blood loss, the Elite dropped down dead.

Pinkie Pie turned around to see Emile clapping

“Nice, Pinkie Pie do you know how to use one of these?” Emile said, he tossed Pinkie Pie a small magnum, Pinkie Pie felt the strange instrument with her two front hooves, acknowledging the smooth metal.

“Be careful, don’t shoot yourself, you might be useful” Emile said

Pinkie Pie wasn’t sure what Emile meant, so she experimented with the pistol. She pulled the trigger and shot a bullet through a nearby destroyed truck, smiling with delight at the ping noise.

“Good, stay with us okay?” Emile said, he was already rushing forward towards a bridge, firing his shotgun from long range with little effect (Except alerting several grunts)Noble 6 followed, spraying his assault rifle through the air, causing critical damage against the weak enemy.

Pinkie Pie galloped behind them, having to carry the pistol in her mouth though while running meant she couldn’t cover Noble 6 or Emile though.

“Holy shit” Emile muttered, he ran into a destroyed building and came out with a rocket launcher

“YEA BUDDY!” Emile said, hoisting the massive weapon on his shoulder

“Are you going to carry that thing?” Noble 6 asked “I can’t”

Emile then looked down at his newly earned loot with a sad despair “Looks like we are going to have to drop it, unless Pinkie Pie can carry it…”

“okay?” Pinkie Pie said

“Cool” Emile said, he tossed the rocket launcher at Pinkie Pie, almost crushing her in an instant. It took both of Pinkie Pie’s hooves to carry the massive weapon and seemed almost impossibly unwieldy in the current situation.  She then noticed two human instruments next to her on the road, both had 4 wheels (Two on each side) and seats for two people.

“Noble 6 you drive, I’ll take the other one, Pinkie Pie you get on my car and shoot at anything you see fit!” Emile shouted, he jumped on his mongoose and Pinkie jumped into the seat behind him. Pinkie Pie had no clue on what would happen when she shot the behemoth of a weapon but she knew it’d be interesting!

For a moment they drove in complete silence and tranquility, then a massive machine dropped from the sky, smaller pods fell from the sky too, Emile swerved off the road, nearly colliding with one of the pods. Noble 6 followed behind him, adeptly dodging the falling pots.

“Pinkie Pie shoots something!” Emile ordered. Pinkie Pie hoisted the rocket launcher over her shoulder and pulled the trigger. If she hadn’t had her seat belt on then she would of gone flying, but fortunately her seat belt kept her on her seat when the rocket fired. A rocket flew through the air and hit one of the scarab’s legs, injuring it.

“Nice shot!” Noble 6 shouted from the intercom on Emile’s helmet.

Pinkie Pie was about to launch her second rocket when she saw a small gelatinous sphere attach to one of the wheels.

“O SHEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAATTT!” Emile shouted. There was an explosion; Pinkie Pie used Emile as her shield, fortunately saving her life. Pinkie Pie hit the ground and the world turned black.

Pinkie Pie woke up on the cold ground, the mongoose was totaled completely. Emile ran up to her, she couldn’t hear much only a faint ringing, Noble 6 appeared in her line of sight soon after firing his assault rifle, before coming to assist Emile with dragging Pinkie Pie.

“Into the milk truck!” Emile instructed, Pinkie Pie felt herself being hoisted into the milk truck, she finally came to complete consciousness, her pink mane was no marred with black and brown dirt, the rocket launcher was missing. In the front two sats was Emile and Noble 6 frantically driving the milk truck through hordes of elites and scarabs.

“Noble 1 do you copy?” Emile asked into his intercom

“Noble 1 standing by, what do you need Noble 4?” Carter asked

“Yea, things kind of went FUBAR, we have a pink pony and we are driving through scarabs and elites in a milk truck, we need some support. Over”

“Sorry low on fuel” Carter said tersely

“We had 94% fuel 15 minutes ago” Emile said

“…bye” Carter said, the intercom went dead.

“KEEP DRIVING!” Noble 6 shouted, firing his assault rifle through the open window.

“JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP” Emile shouted

Pinkie Pie had the strange feeling she was flying through air in a milk truck being tailed by vicious aliens and giant space robots. That or she was just really tired, Pinkie Pie felt a sharp impact and the milk truck turned on its side, slamming into a wall.

“YAY THAT WAS FUN!” Pinkie Pie shouted, getting out of the vehicle, they had jumped over a broken bridge! THAT WAS SO AWESOME!”

“We got to keep moving” Emile said “The greatest battle of history is about to happen!”

Emile loaded his shotgun he ran-

Sorry next part is too violent

Enjoy:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbnCiKrAeSw

“THANK BLACK JESUS THAT IS DONE!” Emile shouted, throwing his kukri down onto the ground, Pinkie Pie never knew humans were so violent!

“So I was like ‘duh’ and Rarity was like ‘uh’ and I was like ‘snuh’ and Rarity was like ‘duh AGAIN!” Pinkie Pie said “It was a super funny story”

“Pinkie Pie, please…we ge tit” Noble 6 said, using the nearby health pack to heal himself, even though he just touched it and it randomly vanished and he looked better.

“THERE IT IS THERE IT FUCKING IS!” Emile shouted “WE ARE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS CRAP!”

“Emile take the big gun, me and Pinkie Pie will clear the area” Noble 6 said “Pinkie Pie, remember the plan!”

“Okidokiloki!” Pinkie Pie said with her normal vigor and enthusiasm

Pinkie Pie took a moment to scan the deck, there were several brutes, and several elites and myriad grunts, nothing too hard.

“Let’s do eet!” Noble 6 said

Pinkie Pie followed orders, she ran out onto the deck in full view and sat down, making her best daw face. All of the covenant (As Noble 6 and Emile called them) looked stunned at the fluffly little filly. An elite walked right up to Pinkie Pie.

“YOU SO ADORABLE! I SHALL PUT YOU IN MY SANVICH!” The elite gargled, Noble 6 jumped over Pinkie Pie and blasted the elite with a  round of assault rifle ammo.

“Nice job Pinkie Pie!” Noble 6 shouted

The fight went on and on as such, small throngs of Covenant being baffled in dawness of the adorable little Pinkie Pie, only to get murdered by Noble 6 and his assault rifle.

Sure enough in time there were no more Covenant soldiers, only dead corpses. A pelican flew up to Noble 6 and Pinkie Pie

“Noble 6 get on we got to get out of here!” One soldier shouted

Noble 6 gasped in horror as a Phantom flew overhead, it dropped several Elites by Emile. Pinkie Pie watched, her mouth ajar, as Emile shot down the first Elite only to be impaled on the second ones energy sword. Emile pulled out his kukri and stabbed the Elite in the throat

“I’M GOING TO MAKE GRAPE SODA OUT OF YOUR SOUL!” Emile shouted “FUS DO RAH!”

Emile toppled the elite over, the intercom after a few moments of sullen breathing went dead.

“I better go get the gun” Noble 6 said, he was about to turn and walk away before he turned back and gave Pinkie Pie his dog tags.

“Thanks Pinkie Pie, you gave me true heroism today” Noble 6 said “How can I ever thank you!?”

“Stand over by the helicopter and let me take your picture!” Pinkie Pie said, revealing her camera “SMILE!”

Pinkie Pie got an amazing shot, showing Noble 6 and the other soldiers

“Thanks Noble 6!” Pinkie Pie said

“No, thank you Noble 7” Noble 6 said, Pinkie Pie swore she saw a smile through the opaque visor

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned something about bravery. Sometimes there are certain things you have to do, you might be afraid, but you shouldn’t be! You should be proud of what you are doing, and be proud that you are helping people! I learned about bravery today through my good friend Noble 6!

-Pinkie Pie

P.S. Remember Reach

Pinkie Pie put down the quill and handed it to Spike; he gave a huff and sent the paper on its way.

“You did a great thing Pinkie Pie” Twilight said

“Thanks!” Pinkie Pie said “I didn’t see Ezio but I did see Noble 6! I wonder what he is doing right now!”

Twilight giggled “I wonder”

***

“HELLO!” Noble 6 called out, the entire world seemed like a desolate wasteland, he was standing on a lonely platform, and phantom after phantom was coming near to him, dropping off more and more elites.

“KEYES? EMILE? PINKIE PIE? WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU WERE COMING BACK FOR ME!” Noble 6 shouted out in rage

Noble 6 turned around to see an elite field marshal standing right by him with an energy sword

“Fuck…” Noble 6 cursed

“IT’S RAEP TIME!”

WHOS NEXT!?

YOU DECIDE!

Pinkie Space

“Here you go Twilight” Pinkie said, extending her hoof to reveal  the photo of the group of armed humans.

“I’ll add that to the wall, want to go in again?” Twilight asked, levitating the picture over to a nearby coffee table.

“Okidokiloki!” Pinkie said in her customary good mood.  She waited in excitement as Twilight readied her horn for the laborious spell. In a moment the purple magic appeared in Twilight’s horn and shot out towards Pinkie Pie.

***

Smash

“Nothing”

Smash

“Nothing”

Smash

“Nothing”

Smash

“CREDITS!” Issac said, picking up the 400 credits with glee. The glee died instantly though when he came back to the real world, here he was. The love of his life was dead, monsters were trying to kill him, and he had run out of space Oreos, the day couldn’t get any worse.

He walked into a different room, it was just as congested and  depressing as the last 500 rooms.

“Perfect, more corpses” Issac said sarcastically, looking at the two Earth Gov soldiers laying before him. Both there rigs were gone, but it wasn’t even necessary to check the rig, unless human beings can live without their heads.

“Hello?” Pinkie Pie called out, Issac turned right around. How’d it get there?

“Who are you?” Issac shouted, pulling out his pulse rifle.

“I’m Pinkie Pie silly!” Pinkie Pie said “Whatcha doing?”

Issac hesitated for a moment; she could be working with the unitologists “Stuff”

“Stuff stuff?”

“Yea….stuff stuff” Issac said, how did this thing even come up to him without him noticing?

“Can I come along?” Pinkie asked in good-nature

“….Are you a unitologists?” Issac asked

“……No BUT I’m friends with unicorns!” Pinkie Pie said

“…..okay then…..” Issac said, slowly backing away.

“So can I come with you? My name is Pinkie Pie by the way! What’s yours!?” Pinkie Pie asked again, just as persistent and hopeful as the first time.

“Sorry, you don’t have any armor and you don’t have a rig” Issac said “By the way, it’s Issac Clark”. It confused him, how did she get past the Necromorphs? Why didn’t she have a rig? Did Earth Gov send her as some super weapon of some sort?

“O that’s easy I can just buy some!” Pinkie Pie said, revealing a massive amount of credits “It’s easy finding these things!”

“No not really, I haven’t stomped many lately” Issac confessed, the shortage of credits has caused him a lot of problems, without money Issac could barely even afford ammo for his lowly plasma cutter.  He was down to only a couple mags of plasma and a flashlight.

“Silly goose! Why would you stomp them? It breaks whatever is inside! Just pick the box up and open it!” Pinkie Pie said. Issac Clark had considered it, but he felt stepping on every corpse and green box he found much more efficient. Even if what the pink horse had said was true.

“Now let’s buy some armor!” Pinkie Pie said, running into the room beyond.

“PINKIE PIE SLOW DOWN!” Issac screamed. Issac hated to think what would happen to the unarmed pink horse in the face of the monstrosities of the marker.

But when he turned the corner, he could exhale and drop his plasma cutter to his side. The room was empty and the door was closed, Pinkie Pie was already at the shop. She was almost unrecognizable, most of her body hidden by the machine and its content.

“Oooooooooooo a security suit! Sounds….secure!” Pinkie Pie said. Pinkie Pie purchased the item, and the door opened. Issac had always wondered what his face had looked like the first time he went into the machine, now he had the chance to see Pinkie Pie’s, only it wasn’t  what he expected.

The machine sealed the doorway

For a moment there was complete silent except for the machine working it’s magic. Pinkie Pie came out a second later, the security suit attached to her. On her back was a glowing light blue rig.

“Whoa this is so cool!” Pinkie Pie said “What does this do?”

Pinkie Pie found out about the kinesis. She targeted a nearby crate, she shot out the kinesis beam and it grabbed hold to the crate, suspending it in air.

“Wow I have to show Twilight this!” Pinkie Pie said, playing around with kinesis. She finally got bored and launched it into the wall, causing little bits to fly everywhere.

“Listen Pinkie Pie we got to go, we have a schedule and all” Issac said. He looked out the window towards his target; the Marker.

“COOL! It’s just like we’re on the job.” Pinkie Pie said “What are we anyways? Ninjas? Soldiers? Secret Agents? O my Celestia I know! ROBOTS!”

Issac couldn’t help but smile at Pinkie Pie’s naivety; she didn’t know what was going on.

“Engineers” Issac Clark said “Our mission is to blow that big rock up”

“COOL! You’re so cool! You’re like my pal Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie said. Issac ignored the urge to ask Pinkie Pie about this “rainbow Dash”, and allowed himself to focus on the mission. He knew how much was at stake. The world was on his shoulders…well his shoulders and his pink companions shoulders.

“Take this Pinkie Pie!” Issac said, he tossed her his pulse rifle. The thing only had a couple clips of ammo and it was obvious she didn’t know how to operate it, but 2 guns were better then 1.

“Relax I brought my own item!” Pinkie Pie said, she ran into a nerby closet and came out with a small cyan cannon.

“…What is that…” Issac stated

“My party cannon!” Pinkie Pie said, she fired off a round. Issac in an instant was sprawled out on the ground, but instead for the expected explosion, only a couple pink streamers and a batch of cupcakes sitting on a wooden tray appeared.

“because we are going to PAR-TAY!” Pinkie Pie shouted

“No Pinkie Pie, we aren’t going to par-tay” Issac said “Now….bring your cannon thing and let’s go.”

Pinkie Pie nodded, she grabbed her cannon and followed the engineer out the door.

“NECROMORPHS!” Issac screamed, instantly two of the monsters charged for him. Issac (His finger always on the trigger) shot down the first one but the second one rushed him. From behind him, Issac heard the party cannon go off, instead of a monster in front of him, there was just a cake.

“Pinkie Pie, did you just turn that Necromorph into cake?” Issac asked in awe

“You know it!” Pinkie Pie said, she walked over to it and ate it in one bite “Mmmmmm DELISH!”

Issac wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be crept out.

With the first room clear Issac could now enter the second room. Inside of it was….o my god….the eye poker of doom.

Lying next to the machine was a dead corpse, it’s eyes gashed out. In blood read “What monster would make a machine that pokes your eyes!”

“Ooooooo can I try can I try?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No!” Issac screamed, and then an enlightening revelation hit him. He knew what Stross was talking about. “ I mean, yea Pinkie Pie you can try!” Issac didn’t want to get Pinkie Pie hurt, but his duty was bigger than him or his pink new friend.

Pinkie Pie jumped right into the machine, she didn’t need any second thoughts about it either. The machine prepared itself for its next victim, Issac cringed when he saw a massive needle pop out of the machine, it’ route right through pinkie Pie’s right eye.

“Oooooooo shiny!” Pinkie Pie said, mesmerized by the stainless steel  harpoon. Slowly, ever so slowly, it descended closer and closer towards Pinkie Pie. All the while she stared at it with a smile on her face. Issac had to wonder if all of her kind were like this, or if she was just happy by nature.

Issac almost felt sick, the harpoon went right into Pinkie Pies eye, the needle scraping against the bone all the while. It laid inside Pinkie Pie’s eye for maybe 3 seconds, before it quickly returned to the machine. A rivulet of crimson red blood fell from pinkie Pie’s punctured eye. She grabbed it and yodeled

“Owiowiowiowiowiowi” Pinkie Pie said, her hoof over the eye “That hurt!”

Issac and Pinkie Pie (Still carrying her party cannon) entered the new room, right in front of them in smeared blood read.

LOL FAG WHY’D YOU POKE YOURSELF IN THE EYE IT WASN’T EVEN IN TE PLOT N00B! LMFAO

Issac felt like face palming himself, things actually did turn out worse.

“Could this get any worse?” Issac asked

Just then a new monster appeared in front of him. It was tall, black, and alien-like.

“Do you have to be kidding me…” Issac said. Looking into the 5 eyes of his new opponent;  Issac didn’t need a hint to know thi thing wanted trouble. Issac pulled out his pulse rifle and unloaded on the monster, sending the limbs of the beast flying. Moments later though, the monster regenerated every single limb, every single cell of its body returned to it.

“Well this is going to suck” Issac said, so much for saving the world and all “Pinkie Pie try and turn that thing into cake!”

Pinkie Pie gave him a salute and fired off at the monster, even the party cannon though was impervious to the monster.

“Looks like we are going to have to get past this thing” Issac said to his Pinkie companion “unless you have a better

idea”

Pinkie Pie thought pensively for a moment “I GOT IT”

“What?” Issac said excitedly

“We need to teach it how to smile! He needs friends!” Pinkie Pie said, noticing the sad expression on the monster.

“….WHAT THE HELL WOULD THAT DO!?” Issac shouted “ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOME SHIT!”

“Fine! Watch this!” Pinkie Pie said

***

The monsters mouth exploded, and then it’s entire body disintegrated.

“SEE SMILING ALWAYS HELPS!” Pinkie Pie said. Issac wasn’t sure what shocked him most. Pinkie Pie singing and dancing, or the Ubermorph exploding and dying after smiling.

“Well….thanks Pinkie Pie. Now I guess we can destroy the marker” Issac said. Somehow, his pink horse companion has proved her worth.

Issac was ready for whatever happened, he was standing right there in front of the marker. He had no clue how to destroy it, all he had was a unquenchable thirst for revenge. That is when he took a javelin to the arm.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY SHINY STONE BIYACH!” Tiedemann shouted, waving a javelin gun. Although most of his face and half of his body was scorched with horrific burns his complete hate for Issac had kept him kicking.

“Dude what the hell!?” Issac screamed, ripping the javelin out of his arm. Before Tiedemann could finish Issac, Issac dodged his next attack and broke his arm. Issac grabbed the javelin gun and decapitated Tiedemann.

“Ewwwwwwwwww” Pinkie Pie said, noticing the massive amount of blood everywhere.

“This day keeps getting worse and worse” Issac said, wounded by the javelin, blood was pouring from the wound and Issac didn’t make it a secret that he was suffering.

“Issac” A womanly voice cooed from behind Issac, he turned around to see the love of his life standing in front of him;  the good old Nicole, no suffering, no pain, no insane zombie alien robot monster mutant government conspiracy going on. Pinkie Pie moved past Issac (Who was almost paralyzed with a mixture of emotion) to see her. She was human yes, with short blonde hair, she was wearing a white jumpsuit.

“It is all finished Issac, except it is time to die” Nicole said, Pinkie Pie looked confused. Humans are strange.

“MAKE US WHOLE OMGWTFBBQOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNO BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH” Nicole screamed, lightning enveloping Pinkie Pie’s line of sight.

Pinkie Pie was now in a different place, almost in the middle of a desert. Around her she was guarded by a greenish mist.

“I trusted you!” Issac said “FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE MARKER!”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa there mister!” Pinkie Pie shouted “That is not how you talk to someone! How do you even know each other!?”

“it is a long story” Issac said

“No it isn’t! You two really need to learn how to communicate better!” Pinkie Pie said

***

Dear Princess Celestia

Went back into the world of humans for the THIRD time! It was so much fun! I learned that even if things are not going your way you shouldn’t give up, and you shouldn’t EVER EVER EVER EVER take it out on the people you love. Issac gave me a little surprise on his way out too.

-Pinkie Pie

P.S. I got poked in the eye with a needle, don’t worry though. I’ll have my right eye back in 24 hours Issac said!

Pinkie Pie handed the note off to Spike who launched it to the Sun Goddess.

“So how does this thing even work?” Rainbow Dash asked, fumbling with the Kinesis.

“Like this!” Pinkie Pie said, using the kinesis to levitate a brownie (Made by herself before) into her mouth.

“Yummy!” Pinkie Pie said licking her lips, sharing a laugh with her two good friends.

WHOS NEXT!?

YOU DECIDE!