I just can't snap…

by Pencyke

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Roseluck, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1095

Twilight Sparkle crushes Roseluck's dreams with a single sentence and Roseluck recounts the tail to her most trusted friend in all of ponyville.

I recently came to the realization that I am physically unable to snap. MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!
And it's all because of that horse that crushed my dreams! But I know that you'd never betray me, right? Sandwich? Sandwich! Oh! Where have you gone my sandwich?
This is the story of how Twilight Sparkle indirectly destroyed the entirety of everything.

Published 2014-06-27 03:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-27 03:50:05 UTC

I just can't snap

"Today started out a pleasant day just like it always is when the Elements of Harmony aren't doing something that puts Ponyville and/or Equestria at risk. I got up just before Celestia raised the sun, had lunch for breakfast, combed my extremely messy mane into it's usual slightly messy state, and watered my roses. With my morning ritual completed I headed to the park to once again trying harder than ever to achieve my life long goal that I have been trying to do since before I got my my cutie mark. The thing that I dream to be able to do every night, the thing that would put me above even all the alicorns in Equestria put together.

"To be able to snap.

"Normally when ponies see me sitting at my bench (I put my name on it) they take no heed and move along which whatever it is that their doing, whether it's conducting a life threatening experiment, throwing a party for some pony who doesn't want it, obsessing about an imaginary species, making uncomfortable dresses, growing a single kind of fruit, caring for savage beasts/monsters, doing whatever it is that multi-colored pegasus does, trying to get a cutie mark, or simply destroying Ponyville, they always just pass me by, like I'm invisible. I some times think of it as a super power…

"Then I see that I'm not invisible and that makes me sad. But anyway, the point is that they all, without fail just walk past, minding their own business. Except for today…" Rose Luck made took a look at her audience with a face full of emotion, and then like a savage, she ripped a large chunk out of her one and only listener, spilling it's insides on the table and ground making quite a mess. The three meter sandwich took the pain silently, without uttering a single whimper. Let us take a moment to admire just how much will power this sandwich actually possesses.

To not only have a cream colored pony eat your face off while you listen to her tail about how some pony crushed their dreams, but to allow that cute, cuddly, marshmallow horse to rip off your face, and refrain from releasing a single tear, whimper, or cry of pain is a feat of immeasurable willpower. Why, even the infamous Chuck Norris would be hard pressed to match such a display(though I doubt he would allow for himself to fall into such a situation).

Taking the silence as a request to continue Rose Luck did just as she believed her faceless sandwich wanted.

"Today it's the newly crowned princess of magic who comes trotting by. But instead of walking right past like every pony else, she doesn't! I mean can you believe the nerve? She thinks that just because she's an alicorn princess she can just stop right in front of where I was siting! And check this out, she didn't just stand there," Roseluck leaned in towards her best friend, bringing her voice down to a level that rivaled fluter shy in softness. She licked her lips before continuing, "Oh no, she couldn't just stand there, she felt the need to actually talk to me. I mean can you believe how rude some ponies can be? There are unspoken rules that you're just not supposed to brake, like don't master bate in public, or never run over fillies and colts unless their in school, or even the most basic one, if you're a mime don't talk where others can hear you. I mean seriously, she's worse than that blueblood jerk! You'd think that the town's resident librarian/princess would've read "The unforgettably awe-inspiring book of unspoken rules".

But no~. She had to go and brake rule number 5687.233306-B!#%?/111111 paragraph 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
7245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094
3305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912
9833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132
0005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235
4201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859
5024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303
5982534904287554687311595628638823537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989
3809525720106548586327886593615338182796823030195203530185296899577362259941389124972177528347913151
5574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012
8583616035637076601047101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912
9331367702898915210475216205696602405803815019351125338243003558764024749647326391419927260426992279
6782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995690927210797509302955
3211653449872027559602364806654991198818347977535663698074265425278625518184175746728909777727938000
8164706001614524919217321721477235014144197356854816136115735255213347574184946843852332390739414333
4547762416862518983569485562099219222184272550254256887671790494601653466804988627232791786085784383
8279679766814541009538837863609506800642251252051173929848960841284886269456042419652850222106611863
0674427862203919494504712371378696095636437191728746776465757396241389086583264599581339047802759009
9465764078951269468398352595709825822620522489407726719478268482601476990902640136394437455305068203
4962524517493996514314298091906592509372216964615157098583874105978859597729754989301617539284681382
6868386894277415599185592524595395943104997252468084598727364469584865383673622262609912460805124388
4390451244136549762780797715691435997700129616089441694868555848406353422072225828488648158456028506
0168427394522674676788952521385225499546667278239864565961163548862305774564980355936345681743241125
1507606947945109659609402522887971089314566913686722874894056010150330861792868092087476091782493858
9009714909675985261365549781893129784821682998948722658804857564014270477555132379641451523746234364
5428584447952658678210511413547357395231134271661021359695362314429524849371871101457654035902799344
0374200731057853906219838744780847848968332144571386875194350643021845319104848100537061468067491927
8191197939952061419663428754440643745123718192179998391015919561814675142691239748940907186494231961
5679452080951465502252316038819301420937621378559566389377870830390697920773467221825625996615014215
0306803844773454920260541466592520149744285073251866600213243408819071048633173464965145390579626856
1005508106658796998163574736384052571459102897064140110971206280439039759515677157700420337869936007
2305587631763594218731251471205329281918261861258673215791984148488291644706095752706957220917567116
7229109816909152801735067127485832228718352093539657251210835791513698820914442100675103346711031412
6711136990865851639831501970165151168517143765761835155650884909989859982387345528331635507647918535
8932261854896321329330898570642046752590709154814165498594616371802709819943099244889575712828905923
2332609729971208443357326548938239119325974636673058360414281388303203824903758985243744170291327656
1809377344403070746921120191302033038019762110110044929321516084244485963766983895228684783123552658
2131449576857262433441893039686426243410773226978028073189154411010446823252716201052652272111660396
6655730925471105578537634668206531098965269186205647693125705863566201855810072936065987648611791045
3348850346113657686753249441668039626579787718556084552965412665408530614344431858676975145661406800
7002378776591344017127494704205622305389945613140711270004078547332699390814546646458807972708266830
6343285878569830523580893306575740679545716377525420211495576158140025012622859413021647155097925923
0990796547376125517656751357517829666454779174501129961489030463994713296210734043751895735961458901
9389713111790429782856475032031986915140287080859904801094121472213179476477726224142548545403321571
8530614228813758504306332175182979866223717215916077166925474873898665494945011465406284336639379003
…(pi)"

Roseluck trailed off as she noticed the accumulation of ponies with their jaws falling through the ground towards the center of the planet where they would then proceed to be incinerated from the heat of the mantle. She turned her head to spot the various downed pegasi and birds with their faces splattered into the cobblestone pavement, Equestria would have been horrified that not only it's fastest flier was amongst those struck down by the math gods, but the unsuspecting muffin of a certain Derpy Hooves had also been struck down by the math gods. The resulting shockwaves of this felony against the universe and all who dwelled within could be felt in all corners of the multiverse as the seemingly innocent mail mare's face contorted with rage.

Said mail mare took a deep breath…

And let out an anguish filled scream at a pitch so unhearable that the entire world was filled with silence. A silence that reverberated into the very soul of every living being on the planet. A silence that shattered the eardrums of even the deaf. A silence that spoke volumes about loss and morning. A silence that would never be forgotten.

After the end of the silent scream all pieces of glass and crystal shattered. You can imagine that this would be quite troublesome for the crystal ponies who would now have their crystalline guts as the base coat of the now non-existent Crystal Empire.

And then everything fell apart as if the fabric of space and time itself had suddenly contracted the highest state of leprosy. Random bits and pieces of the past, present, and future flowed in and out of anywhere and everywhere all at the same time. It was discordian level chaos to the power of infinity and beyond. Volcanoes erupted and spewed ice-cream and snow cones, while rivers and lakes were flooded with giant bodybuilder parasprites in gym shorts. The wings of pegasi flew off to leave the rest of the pony behind, while the horns of white unicorns transformed into slugs on speed. Anvils crushed ponies in each and every impossible way, weather it be by materializing as their backside or flying past them in slow motion. Discord himself was now nothing more than a black and white bunny with a troll face.

~AND THAT IS HOW EXISTENCE WAS ENDED~

Author's Note

Anybody care to venture a guess as to how many decimal places of pi that I put down?