Badlands

by bass-and-the-siren8976

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sparkler, Trixie, Derpy Hooves, Sad
Length: 4850

Three ponies fight for survival after the destruction of their home. How will they fair alone, among the other not-so-nice species of Equestria's lands?

A pink unicorn mare runs into a mysterious scroll someone dropped on her way to take Nature Notes about the Canterlot Gardens. In the center of the page is a strange, sharp design. But that's not all there is to the scroll. Because it's a letter. From one villain to another. Trixie was just hanging out with her guards pony friend and Derpy just wanted to play with Dinky after work. It wasn't fair for this to happen now- but it wasn't fair for this to happen at all.
(cover is from Google Images as of right now. UPDATED DESC.)

Published 2014-04-18 18:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-09 15:59:35 UTC

The Fall of Canterlot

Celestia stood calmly in the halls of her castle. Several fillies and colts standing alongside her, the sun casting colored patterns on the group through the stained glass windows. The group had been gathered of several foals visiting the castle for a school trip.

Celestia looked out the windows, to her kingdom and her people. It had been so many years since Luna had gone, the presence of foals had made her a tad uncomfortable. Though they were definitely younger than Luna age in both Alicorn and regular pony years, her most defined memories were often from when Luna was her little LuLu, the bright filly looking up at her sister with adoration.

"Tell me... if you could be anything you wanted to be when you grew up, what would you be?"

It was an average question, one most had heard before. Three little fillies were the first to speak.

A little blue filly with a small star covered cape flipped her mane "The best unicorn mage ever!"

A pink unicorn filly rubbed her chin with her hooves, thinking about the important decision "Maybe... a scholar, like Mommy?"

After scarfing a muffin down, a grey pegasus laughed"A muffin!! No, then I'd eat myself... uh..." she stared blankly while trying to think of anything, a half eaten muffin in her hooves.

"60 bits." a gruff gray pony placed the medium-sized volume on the desk. "Wha-" a pink unicorn practically dropped her bit-purse from her magical grip "Look, Notepad, I get it's a pretty old historical volume but... come one, I'm like 15 bits short and I really need it-"
Notepad sighed "School?"

She shook her head "No, no, just for my scholarly curiosity but-"

Notepad lifted the volume in his magic and placed it away "No can do, Ms. Sparkler. As much as you curiosity impresses me, I'm not giving you a discount." Sparkler groaned and exited the bookshop, tucking her bit-purse into her saddlebags.

Nearby, two royal guards carried a flailing blue unicorn in their grips "U-Unhand me you fool! I am the Great and-"

A guard sighed as he began "For the last time, Trixie, nopony's allowed to see the private spell archives. Your lucky the princess is letting you go."

Trixie groaned "For the last time, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE-"

The other guard sighed "We know, you lost your way. Of course."

A grey pegasus flew dizzily through the air landing by a mailbox, saluting "Ditzy 'Derpy' Hooves, reporting for duty! Your package sir!"

Jet Set eyed the pegasus carefully from his seat on his deck "Are you... Dear Celestia... are you supposed to be the mailmare? Even the mailmare is an uncouth-"

Derpy laughed "Nope! No mailmares here! I'm Ditzy D. Hooves, secret agent on a mission- to deliver a package for the good of all muffin-kind!"

A unicorn filly perched on her back laughed "Mom! You have to be secret! Hey, let's go to flying now! You're done with work right?" After a clumsy nuzzle, Derpy gently flew off, Dinky hanging tight.

"Excuse, me but- did he just call you... Ms. Sparkle?" a random noble whispered as Sparkler walked.

"No um... Sparkler, not Sparkle. Excuse me..." Sparkler groaned, the sixth time someone took her for the Element of Harmony today. Sure, their names were similar but they didn't even look alike. She took out her planner, which people very often reminded her was also something the Element supposedly did. Although her schedule was just a loose list of things to get done in any order. Though the pink, leather bound book seemed fancy, it was just a to-do list.

In semi-neat, hasty scribbles, the words "Canterlot Gardens: Nature Notes" were printed in one of the boxes. Realizing she was walking in the opposite direction she quickly about-faced and trotted to the castle, turning left at the gates to the gardens. Waving to Mr. Greenhooves, the grounds-keep she trotted further into the garden. If she had stayed only a moment longer, she would have seen the elderly stallion's eyes widen in shock, running back while keeping his sights on the skies. As she walked, a scroll slipped out of the bag of a Pegasus flying overhead.

Her scholarly curiosity getting the best of her, she poked the scroll, unfurling it, a trick she mastered over years of work. Or you know, one very boring class lecture. The twisted diagrams in fast pin-like lines of black ink danced around the center of the page. "Doppelganger Device..." she read at the head of the scroll, moving to the words below the symbol "Dear... Chrissy? Combining your magic with this spell-"

As Sparkler spoke, Trixie sat by the front gate, laughing with Shimmering Sentinel, a female guards pony. Her only friend since she came to Canterlot to be under the watchful eye of the princess.

"You will be able to change-"

Derpy flew right over Canterlot Castle with Dinky giggling. The clumsy flight pattern somewhat similar to a slower version of a roller coaster, to Dinky at least.

"Into not only one's physical form-"

Sparkler gulped before reading on, her hoove had unconsciously reached for her deceased mother's necklace around her neck.

"But to acquire their abilities and knowledge."

A rainbow colored blur flew down, past Derpy, knocking Dinky off, making the filly fall down to the Canterlot Castle, the blur moving speedily downwards. In her panic to rush for Dinky, Derpy didn't notice the horde of blurs zooming down, a piercing noise beginning to fill her ears. Even the princesses' looked up from the sun roof in the throne room, trying to see the cause of the noise, before gasping.

"Sincerely... King Sombra-" her eyes widened but before she could speak, she turned to see a horde of what could only be the Element of Loyalty sonic rain-boom into the castle, a massive rainbow like light spreading out, engulfing Canterlot and spreading down the mountain outwards.

Well, Things Went Downhill... But It's A-OK, Cause' We Have A Cannon! And MUFFINS!

Sparkler's eyes fluttered open. Coughing, she stood up. The garden was covered with rubble, the beautiful stature of Celestia lay in half. Sparkler gasped, such a beautiful piece of art- if their was anything she enjoyed other than being a scholar, it was art. She bit her lip to stop from screaming right then and there over this statue. She froze. "Princess Celestia..." She ran into the castle "Princess!!" She ran through the shards of the broken stained glass windows. If it weren't for the urgent matter of the princess, she would have cried over the thoughtless destruction of such great art and history. "Princess-" she stopped. The sun roof, and also the roof of most of the castle, had caved in. A large area in the center of the room was covered in glass. She saw two areas without glass, perhaps where the princess' had stood, she thought. Sparkler froze and muttered "Emphasis on had stood." she noticed with rising fear the lack of any princess'. The thrones were gone completely as well.

Sobbing brought her back to the real world. Her ears shot up, flicking back and forth trying to find where it was coming from. She turned to the doorway, the double doors lying broken on the ground. A blue mare sat solemnly, a wizard hat over her eyes. "Vixie Pulamoon."

The blue mare looked up with shock before responding, the mare making her forget her woes "Sparkler. It's... Trixie Lulamoon by the way-."

Sparkler growled. Yes, Vixie Pulamoon... how could she ever forget. It was back in magic kindergarten... the class had visited Celestia. And Vixie... Sparkler shouted "You practically destroyed the Canterlot Art and History Museum!!"

Trixie stood and roared "You dared to insult me!!"

Trixie had misfired a spell and Sparkler had chewed her out so badly- a responsible adult would've apologized now, seeing their overreaction. Sparkler was not one though- she was a history and art loving college student, and the museum was the thing of gods to her.

"DIE!" Sparkler ran out to Trixie, who ran back. The two tumbled to the ground, the flailing of hooves making it hard to see. Sparkler punched Trixie's eye, Trixie kicking her off. The two grabbed street lights from out of the ground, twirling them in their magical grasps. "Do not mess with me Vixie Pulamoon!" her streetlight slashing out to Trixie.

"IT'S TRIXIE LULAMOON!!!" Trixie pushed the opposing light post away and smashed hers into the ground, sending Sparkler flying. Sparkler dropped the rod, using her magic to launch a blast at Trixie. Trixie shot a greater blast out at the mare, the size of two Celestia's. Sparkler shot a beam through the middle, splitting the blast into two sections. Trixie's shot flew either too high or low to hit Sparkler while hers shot through the middle to Trixie.

Trixie launched back into a wall "You- you..." the haughty mare was unable to think up a comeback, instead bawling. Sparkler froze and dropped everything. "Vi- Trixie...?"

"She-" Trixie sobbed "She's dead! My only friend! Dead! And you- you dare to attack the Great... you dare to attack Trixie now!"

Sparkler winced. She had allowed her own personal fury to blind her to other woes. She sat down slowly next to Trixie the two staring into the former throne room. They suddenly saw a patch of yellow, bobbing up and down randomly. Eventually Derpy shot up from behind a wall. She saw the two and flew towards them "R-run!!" the two mares looked to each other, before a manticore ran out of the castle from nowhere.

"ACK!" Sparkler got to her feet galloping, Trixie following from behind. Derpy flew a little above them, pulling something out. "Hey, is that-" Sparkler's eyes widened.

Derpy turned to face the manticore, flying backwards. The green box in her hand extended, one section coming down like a handle and the horizontal edge expanding, opening at the front in a whirling pattern. She stuffed a tan-brown object in one end and pulled something down, making a click noise "Muffin Cannon!"

With a flash, a muffin flew out the cannon, spinning wildly as it moved forward. Smacking the manticore dead in the face, causing it to yelp. "What is that?!" Sparkler stared wildly as the manticore scratched at the muffin on it's face falling to the ground.

Trixie gasped "Wait, aren't you Derpy- the muffin girl!?"

Derpy did a mock salute "Ditzy Hooves at your service! Mail-mare, Muffin-baker, and former guards-pony!"

"Wait-" Trixie and Sparkler froze "Guards-pony?"

Derpy nodded, her blonde mane bouncing around "For a whole year! I even got my own weapon!"

"Well..." Trixie poked the manticore with a twig "It's... effective...?"

"What is it?!" Sparkler restated her question.

"A muffin cannon! It can shoot muffins! Well... other stuff too since it's just a cannon... But I like Muffins!"

"And the manticore?" Sparkler nodded towards the now unconscious manticore.

"Raspberry Muffin!" Derpy laughed "Manticore's are allergic."

Derpy pulled the trigger again yet it made the cannon collapse back into a cube this time. Trixie and Sparkler blinked "How does that even-" they were interrupted by the grumbling of their stomachs.

"Eh... I suppose the Great and Powerful Trixie could... use a snack." Trixie looked around for food.

"Anymore muffins, by any chance?" Sparkler asked nervously.

"Sure! But we should get shelter first! It's always what they do in the movies I watched with Din-" Derpy's smile faded.

Sparkler caught on and cleared her throat "Yeah shelter. We should try to get some shelter."

Derpy flew lazily trying to spot a building that looked... safe. Trixie took the rear, holding two lamp-posts in her magic in case things got hairy. Sparkler studied a map of Canterlot "If we keep going straight, we'll reach the Royal Theater... It could be intact..."

Just as Sparkler had said, the three came across a theater, crumbled and ruined. "Wow, how amazingly intact." Trixie sighed.

Derpy laughed "But that's just the main floor!"

Trixie tilted her head "The Great and Powerful Trixie is confused..."

Derpy pointed to a few crates "There! Move those crates!"

Sparkler and Trixie used their horns and revealed- a trap door.

Sparkler gasped "Wha- but? Theater! Why would they need-"

Derpy laughed "To store things!"

Trixie looked around and whispered "Well what are we waiting for? More monsters? Let's go!"

Sparkler hesitantly placed her hoof on the handle.

Author's Note

I wanted to keep Derpy as... well Derpy, but i wanted her to have more than goofiness and muffins, so I ended up making her someone really familiar with Canterlot. But I mean think, she's a mailmare, so she goes a lot of places. Plus pony's just see her as a mailmare so they go ahead an continue conversations even if she walks by, so she might hear some things. And if that didn't provide a good enough support I made her a former guards pony.

As for Sparkler, I'm planning on following up with the parallels I mentioned between her and Twilight. Maybe her frustration of always being mistaken for Ms. "Sparkle" instead. And Trixie's got stuff too but... I kinda want to keep hers a little secret.

And yes, Sparkle will keep accidentally calling Trixie "Vixie".

My Little Muffin

Slowly, Sparkler pulled the door up "It's not opening!"

Trixie pushed Sparkler's hoof down, the door opening downwards.

"Oh..." Sparkler laughed nervously "Of course."

The three slowly slipped into the room below, filled with props and old costumes. Sparkler gasped "My saddlebags! I left them in the gardens!" she face hoofed "I had my crystal in there..."

Derpy paused "Wait... then where'd ya' get the map-"

"I have one if you need it." Trixie pulled a small crystal from her cape.

Sparkler concentrated a needle-like beam of light into the crystal, which slowly illuminated, just bright enough to see the outlines of the three mares huddled close "Come on-" the crystal flickered and then shone brilliantly, lighting the whole room. Happily, Sparkler rested it on one of the shelves, pushing a few small props to the side to make room. "We should close the door now." Sparkler placed a crate over the hole, Derpy pushing the door up, only to have it fall down open again "How'd it open in the first place!" Sparkler placed a thin magic wand prop in the lock hole keeping the door closed.

Trixie flopped down onto a large plush ducky "May the Great and Powerful Trixie eat now?"

As Sparkler slowly sat on a shelf that had fallen over, Derpy plopped down on a stack of books, pulling a paper bag from nowhere.

"I'm not even going to ask." Sparkler shook her head.

Derpy tossed a muffin to each of the two before taking her own.

Trixie silently ate, and before long fell asleep on the duck. Sparkler thought back to Notepad, her friend from the bookstore. she thought of his wife and daughter, who had invited her over more then once. Suddenly she didn't feel like eating.

Derpy watched as she played with the muffin in her hooves "Are... Are you gonna' eat that, Sparkly?"

Sparkler looked surprised before a teeny trace of a smile appeared on her face "No, Derpy... here."

Derpy ate the muffin contentedly, yawning as she finished. She lied down on the large pile of books under her, Sparkler doing so with her shelf.

"That lucky Vixie." Sparkler yawned "She got a plushy and we..." she fell asleep.

Derpy smiled then frowned, the thought of a small filly filling her head. She quietly grabbed three large pieces of cloth, perhaps for costume making. She draped them over her new friends. She looked at Trixie on her plush before putting a small rolled cloth under Sparkler's head. She went back to her own makeshift bed, using another roll of cloth as a pillow, she pulled a cloth over herself, the chilled air slowly warming.

"Mama!" A small filly tugged on Derpy's saddlebag.

"What is it Dinky?" Derpy smiled down at her daughter.

"Ma I-" Dinky frowned, the world around them collapsing.

"D-Dinks?" Derpy froze.

"You couldn't save me." Dinky cried "You could've if you'd just flown faster."

"Dinky-" Derpy teared up.

"If it wasn't for your eyes." the filly seemingly hissed "If you weren't so afraid of making a mistake- it's all your fault."

"No Dinks! I..." Derpy reached for her daughter, her hand passing through.

A mocking laughter came from behind her. Rainbow Dash standing laughing "Oh, what do we have here? The joker herself- Derpy Hooves." Rainbow pretended to walk almost like she was dizzy, making fun of the way Derpy did at times.

"You could've saved her you know~" Rainbow taunted her, grinning.

"I tried- I-" Derpy collapsed.

"But it's just like always~ You try your best but it never works~ Just quit it Derps, you already cause so much trouble for us all!"

Rainbow glared at Derpy, preparing her sentence carefully "That filly's happy she's dead. She's better off."

Derpy broke into a fit of sobbing "No- My Dinky- she- you- you don't know... she..."

"It's all your eyes-" As rainbow continued, a large crowd of ponies appeared.

They all had the same voice as they spoke, her father's "IF YOU DIDN"T HAVE THOSE STUPID EYES. YOU SHOULDN"T HAVE BEEN BORN!!"

Author's Note

comments and such appreciated. My first actual nightmare scene >.> hope I did good.

Plan of Action? What Plan of Action?

"No- I- I'm not a mistake- I-" Derpy screamed before a warm heat enveloped her. She opened her eyes, a blue mare hugging her "T-Trixie-"

"Your not a mistake." Trixie stood up, her back to Derpy "Nopony is ever a mistake. Thank you for the blanket..."

Trixie cleared her throat "I- The Great and Powerful Trixie is leaving to meet Sparkler outside, meet us when you are ready."

Derpy rubbed her eyes as Trixie opened the trap door and climbed up.

"Oh good morning Derpy." Sparkler looked at the mare, her map back in her hooves.

"Hiya Sparkly!" Derpy grinned, Trixie eyeing her carefully as she put her hat back on her head.

"What is the plan today, then?" Trixie walked over behind Sparkler to look at the map.

"Well Vixie," Trixie rolled her eyes, not even bothering to try again " Actually I don't know... The blast was pretty big, it went down the mountains so Canterlot isn't the only city destroyed most likely... Derpy, can you fly up and tell me if you see anywhere not... well in ruins?"

Derpy saluted clumsily before flying up in a twirling pattern "Um... Ponyville's pretty bad... I think Manehattan is OK... It's really hard to tell from this far though!"

Trixie looked over the map "So... Manehattan then?"

Sparkler sighed and passed the map to Trixie, who placed it into her cape for safekeeping "I suppose... but first, we should head to the castle, I left my saddlebag. I have some books in there that might help I think..."

Derpy flew down "To the castle then? OK!"

Trixie picked up the street light she had left outside the theater causing Sparkler to look at her "Just in case there are more... things."

As they walked, Sparkler sighed "I got up yesterday and looked outside.. the moon was up."

Derpy cheered "So the princess' are-"

Trixie sighed "That doesn't make sense, we know there not dead but- where are they?"

"What if it's hide and seek?" Derpy narrowed her eyes looking around.

"I don't think they'd destroy Canterlot for hide and seek." Sparkler pushed open the small gate of the garden which fell over.

"Let's just get the saddlebag and then get out of here." Trixie stepped over the gate looking around the gardens.

Sparkler trotted to where she had been yesterday, the bag under a rock "Yes!" she lifted the rock with her magic and quickly pulled out the bag.

"Is it always so empty?" Trixie deadpanned.

There were only two books, a quill, ink, and a crystal she used for lighting left "Of course... why wouldn't it be like this..."

The books in question were her pink planner and a book entitled "Spells of the Old- Volume 1".

"Wha-" Sparkler opened the book "I don't own this!"

Derpy pulled out a sticky note from the inside cover "Uh... You should read this when you get the time. You'll need it now. Sincerely PD. PS. This is only really useful for the two unicorns, huh? Derpy will get her gift later. I'm sorry, this is all I can do, I'm busy with my own things."

Trixie thought for a second "PD?"

Sparkler tucked everything into her bags before throwing it onto her back "We'll figure out who PD is later! We've got to get moving! Vixie! Can you see if there are any chariots or carriages left in the castle?"

"Fine." Trixie trotted of as Sparkler remembered to open her planner, using the quill she scribbled in Get to Manehattan, find other ponies.

"I found one!" Trixie walked back with a small carriage attached to her back "I don't think it's a royal chariot. It's kinda more like a cart..." it had four small wooden pillars going up in the corners, connected to a small wooden roof draped in green fabric, a small built in seating are inside the cart.

"That's fine." Sparkler piled into the carriage "We'll take turns driving. Vixie goes first."

"What!" Trixie huffed.

"Who ever say 'not it' last then!" Derpy suggested.

"1,2....3~" Derpy chimed.

"Not it!" Sparkler closed her planner.

"Not it!" Derpy sat down.

"Not- dang it..." And with a small grunt, Trixie began pulling the cart down the street, away from the castle "There better be something in Manehattan."

"I hope so." Sparkler sighed.

"Incoming!" Derpy pulled out her cannon again just as a small pack of timberwolves ran towards them.

"WHY!!" Sparkler held her head in her hooves "THEY DON'T EVEN COME HERE!"

Trixie laughed and whispered to herself "No wonder people mistake you for Twilight Sparkle..."

Author's Note

Sparkler feels distressed by all these non-explainable happening. Trixie likes her more than Twilight though...

OHMYGOSH- how do we kill a wooden monster!?!?!?!?!?!?!

"Not now, Vi- uh... Trixie!" Sparkler flipped through the book as Derpy aimed her cannon. She felt around for her muffins but to no luck. She sucked in her breath as the timberwolves came closer "Sparkly, I need rocks!"

Sparkler looked up and gasped, bringing several rocks up from the ground as Derpy quickly shot and reloaded.

"Are we OK back there!?" Trixie shouted as she ran, hooves clacking against the cobblestone street "This harness won't let me look back there!"

"Uh..." Sparkler focused on the view in front of her. Four medium sized timberwolves barreled towards them, Derpy's rocks only slowing them down. They had exited the cluster of buildings closest to the castle, entering the lower district. Their was less space between the buildings, which had become smaller and less decorated. As they continued the street narrowed, meaning they were nearing the train station and mountain path.

"Fire!" Trixie shouted angrily.

"What!?" Sparkler twisted around to look at the mare pulling the cart.

"I know your probably thinking up a stupid plan! It's obvious! KILL! IT! WITH! FIRE!"

"Can I shoot fire with this thing...?" Derpy mulled over the idea as she reached for Sparkler's rocks.

"Trixie Pulamoon-" Trixie sighed, at least she got the first name "You are a genius!"

"Huh...? Well, thank you? But it was common sense, I mean they ARE wood-"

"Now then-" She reddened "do you have any idea how to make fire with magic...?"

Trixie opened her mouth to say an arrogant 'yes' until she realized the best fire-y spell she knew was, to a little of her amusement, sparklers.

"No." she too reddened "Shouldn't you!?"

"Well," Sparkler gulped "I'm a scholar, I'm fascinated by how Earth Ponies live in a magic and flight based society... the most magic I use is levitation."

"I CAN MAKE FIRE-" Derpy shouted in a comically deep voice as she shot a rock directly into a timberwolves face "Oh wait no, I'm a pegasus."

"Ok, here's what we do-" Trixie sighed as she made a sharp turn, the train station growing nearer "We tie them up!"

"That we can do!" Sparkler looked around and pulled on a thin wire carrying a 'Welcome to Canterlot' Banner. With an expertly movement, she tugged it away from the two buildings it hung between and threw one end at Derpy who gleefully grasped it in her teeth. As Derpy flew upwards, Sparkler let go allowing the mare to slowly circle them mid-air. Charging downwards, she spun around them as fast as she could, the four timberwolves caught inside her net. Using her magic, Sparkler pulled the two ends, tying them into a tight knot.

"We're at the station!" Trixie stomped down her hooves, the cart slowly coming to a halt.

"Bring them inside!" Sparkler jumped off as Trixie took off her harness.

The pair entered the open door of the damaged train, Derpy following behind while pulling the captured timberwolves.

"Where's the engine thing where they have all the fire!?" Trixie looked around.

Derpy walked forward with the wolves behind her "... Mpompha mphere."

"I think she said 'Over here'." Sparkler turned to Derpy "How do you-"

Derpy grinned, as much as one can when holding a knot in their mouth, and pointed at a sign beside the doorway.

Engine Room Here- No Entry Without Permission

The two unicorns followed Derpy into the cramped engine room. The roof was gone but the 'coal filled oven-y thing', as they might call it, seemed operational.

Trixie picked up a match from the ground and lit it, tossing it into the coal. There was a small flash and a small fire began. They sighed as they noticed the lack of a pile of coal. Derpy dropped the timberwolf net and flew out of the car, coming back with a bottle of oil.

"How did you-" Sparkler asked as Derpy threw the bottle at the coal, shattering and releasing it's flammable contents.

"Their was a diner outside." Derpy chimed.

"Well then..." Trixie watched as the fire licked at the oil and began to grow "Let's do this."

Sparkler carefully lifted the timberwolves right in front of the flame "Are you sure?"

She got no response as the two looked down and stepped outside. Sparkler glanced at the creatures before tossing them in, trotting outside before the yelps could begin.

Don't Question Me

Sparkler held her front hooves on her ears, trying to block out the pain-filled noises from the engine room.

Derpy looked at the sky in awe "It's night!"

"What!!" Trixie looked up from the floor of the train car "Morning began only a little before we left!"

"You know what," Sparkler sighed and looked down the mountain path at the ruins of Ponyville "I'm not even surprised anymore."

Derpy hitched herself to the cart "Guess it's my turn! At least now we can fly."

Sparkler deadpanned "How are you going to fly without the weight of the cart pulling it down and-"

"Shhh~" Derpy placed a hoof against Sparkler's mouth "We have artistic license- dun worry about it~"

Sparkler stepped onto the cart "Wait, what-"

"Don't question." Trixie sat down "I've met someone else who babbled strange things. Just don't ask about the 4th wall, the 'author', or anything else. It all quite confusing."

Indeed. on the wall beside them, the words were scribbled out in red paint. In slightly smaller lettering, it read "-PD"

"How is it-" Sparkler sighed "It wasn't there a second ago! This is completely out of left field, and-"

"Shhhhh!" Derpy frantically covered Sparklers mouth "SHE CAN CONTROL WHAT YOU SAY! BE HAPPY WE CAN EVEN MOVE OF OUR OWN ACCORD!"

"Derpy- THERE. IS. NO. AUTH- PICKLES." Sparkler covered her mouth "What was that- LLAMAS."

Trixie sighed "Now you've done it Sparkler, you've unleashed some crazy beast... Derpy, just fly to Ponyville. Ignore Sparkler. She's stupid. Why did I- Oh come on! Me too!"

Derpy cheered as she flew up into the air "Me too me too me too me too- MUFFINS~.... Best. Author. Ever!"

"Pretty sure that was the 'author' at the end." Sparkler sighed "I'M THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT LINES IN THE SHOW (well no, I do. I'm just REALLY unimportant and you all forgot). "

"Silly, only the bolded stuff if the author~" Derpy chimed as she neared the mid-point of the mountain path.

Trixie pondered for a second "But... If the author controls us- EVERYTHING is the author. I LOVE TWILIGHT SPARKLE. I hate you."

"Let's focus on our problems! 1. apocalypse. 2. Who is PD!?" Sparkler settled everyone down.

"I'm tired!" Derpy whined "Let's do it the next chapter!"

Sparkler opened her mouth "Chapter-"

Author's Note

More filler, YAY~ technically all of this story is filler. God dang it- (cries in a corner)