“alright, I’m going to need some books, and some books, aaannd some books!” shouted Twilight.
“sounds like a plan major sam.” Snowflake said to Twilight.
“but, where are we going to get books? I mean it’s not like I own a library or anything.” Twilight said.
“I’ve an idea!” shouted Spike. “We can give it milk, to let it drinkle the calcium to get big and strong!”
“Great idea Spike! We’ll go to Walmart! I’m sure glad you thought of that brilliant idea.” Twilight said.
Twilight, Spike, Snowflake, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and that unimportant southern horse all piled into the mystery machine to make their way downtown to their local Walmart.
When they were half way there Rarity suddenly asked. “Hey Twilight? How exactly are we driving a van if none of us have thumbs?”
“..hmm good que-” but before Twilight could finish her sentence their van crashed into a delivery truck filled with operating chainsaws.
Twilight crawled out, barely alive, there were paramedics everywhere.
“NOOOO, EVERYONE IMPORTANT IN THE SHOW IS DEAD!” Twilight yelled.
“But Twilight, I survived too!” Apple Jack said.
“..EVERYONE IMPORTANT IS DEAD!” Twilight said.
Apple Jack had a heart attack...yes...Apple Jack died, big goddamn whoop. I mean it’s not like this happens in all my other stories or anything.
“Looks like I’m going to have to walk the rest of the way to Walmart.” Twilight disappointedly said. Fortunately for Twilight, the only way to get to Walmart was to adventure through Everfree forest, she even has to walk in the dark. I can’t imagine what will happen to her in a dark and scary forest. Just as Twilight approached the forest she took a D20 out of her skin pocket and rolled it on the ground. It landed on 19, which means the closest thing to danger she encountered in the whole forest was a splinter. After taking an extremely long and exaggerated amount of time pulling out the splinter from her hoof she finally saw it, Walmart.
“WOW! I’m finally here! Now I can buy all my books and maybe some new friends!” Twilight said. As she approached the Walmart there were various amounts of overweight ponies riding scooters they can barely fit on in and out the door.
“Does this really look like a good idea?” Josh, the greatest and most glorious OC (besides Neckbeard) said.
“I’m doing it for the books.” Twilight said. Twilight trotted towards the Walmart in fear that a motor scooter or soccer mom might run her over, but thankfully she made it through them and got into the Walmart. Twilight was so amazed at how huge the store was, she didn’t even know where to start looking, so she went to the information center to ask where the books are.
A rather fat pony was sitting behind the counter “Whatdaya need sweetheart.”
“Books.”
“Sorry honey booboo we ain’t got no more books for sale, all of them were bought by some horse named Trixy.”
“Who’s trixy?”
“Some wannabe who keeps sayin’ he’s her biggest fan or sometin.”
“Oh, well I better go look for Trixie to see if she knows where this Trixy guy is.”
Twilight didn’t have to go too far until she found Trixie’s house, she heard screaming from inside and horrible music playing. When she busted down the door she saw Trixie tied to the wall while Trixy was singing “sandstorm” by Darude.
“H-How exactly are you singing a song with no lyrics?” Twilight asked.
Trixy turned around and appeared to be a gross sweaty and hairy horse that was wearing a wizards cape. “Leave me alone i'm tryin ta read my favorite anime, Naruto!” Trixy yelled.
Here comes the Crimson Chin!
That’s when the Crimson Chin flew through the wall and hit Trixy with his fist and not his chin. Trixy died and Trixie was saved.
“Hey Trixie, the pony at the information booth at Walmart said that you’d know where the books are. Where are they?” Twilight asked.
“The books? Oh. That was you? With the books? I was wondering what who that was! Well, the books. There at princess Celestia’s castle!” Trixie said. Then Twilight went on her way again to go look for the books. Twilight had to go through the everfree forest once again, and it was conveniently getting dark again, so she decided to get out her handy dandy D20 and roll once again. She rolled a 1.
“Oh no. I can’t imagine what horrible thing may happen.” Twilight said.
“Well howdy there Twilight.” Apple Jack said as she rose from the dead.
“OH COME ON! I THOUGHT THE DAMN AUTHOR KILLED YOU!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Silly Twilight, you rolled a 1 so the author can’t do shit to me know.” Apple Jack triumphantly said.
“Fine, whatever let’s get this over with.” Twilight said as she began to walk through the forest.
“Hey Twilight! Are we headin over to a hootenanny!? Cuz I sure love hootenannies! Man I remember this one time where you me and the rest of the mane 6, well before they all died of course, were at a hootenanny and everyone was having a blast, and of course I died like always, but the best part wa-”
“SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!” Twilight said, cutting off Apple Jack., and her head.
“Well dang nabbit Twilight! You can’t kill me that easily! You rolled a 1.” Apple Jack said as her head jumped back onto her neck.
When they finally reached the castle Twilight realized something. “Wow, Apple Jack I just realized something!”
“Yeah I know, the author already said you did before you started the sentence!”
“I know! I just wanted to make an opportunity to break the fourth wall again! Anyway, I realized that I didn’t need to go to Walmart at all to get any of the books, I own a library.” Twilight said.
“Well if you just realized that from the beginning then most of us would still be alive and we wouldn’t have to star in such a shitty fanfiction!”
Thats when Twilight and Apple Jack happily returned home after realized the word count was a little bit past 1000 words. Then Twilight spent the rest of her life reading books and Apple Jack became her new assistant and stuff.
