From Employee to Ruler

by Brony_Falcon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 2607

Stan is an average guy working an average job making a decent amount of cash. What will he do when he and a certain ruler from a far away land switch bodies? Hilarity ensues

A human named Stan lives in an average house, works at an average office, and makes a decent amount of money. Princess Celestia rules over Equestria, gives orders, and lives in a castle. One day, their lives are switched. Will Stan make a fool of himself in front of others? Will Princess Celestia take over the boss position at the office?

…Bah, I wouldn't worry about them, they'll be perfectly fine…right?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-02 23:12:41 UTC

Something New

My name is Stan.  Some people would call me an average person.  What they think of me is their own opinion; I can't change it.  I live in an average two-story house.  Me and my wife wake up at around 6:00 every morning.  We start our day with me taking a shower first, running a comb through my thick brown hair, brushing my teeth, and making sure I am well-shaven while my wife wakes up the kids and they go downstairs so that she can prepare our meal.  Once I'm finished in the bathroom, I get dressed in my formal business attire and head downstairs to the living room.  I open the front door to check and see if the daily newspaper is lying on the step. If it's not there, I return to the living room, flip the TV on, and see what's on the news.  If it is there, I pick it up, return to the dining room where a fresh cup of coffee greets me, and read the newspaper until breakfast is ready.

After breakfast, I fix our two kids their lunches in small paper sacks, walk them to school, which is about a 5 minute walk from the house, and resume my walk to work, which is about a 5 minute walk from school.  The building doesn't look like much. Well, it might look like a lot to some people; I don't know.  It's a four-story building with windows all around the third and fourth floors.  The third floor shows a large office space with several people sitting in front of computers, one of them standing up every now and then to approach the printer or the water cooler.  The fourth floor shows half of what the third floor shows.  The other half is the boss's office--a man in a suit like mine sitting in a big leather chair, a wooden desk, two other chairs, and a few potted plants.

The other two floors are exactly like the third.  I know because I work on the second floor.  I always enter through the door (which logically leads to the first floor) by 8:00 and punch in, and I see the exact same setting as I saw through the window from outside.  I go up the stairs in the far left corner of the room, and I see the same thing I saw on the first floor.  Occasionally I get greetings like "How's it going, Stan?" or "Lovely weather today, isn't it?"  I return the greetings by addressing them, then answering their question.  After that, I take a seat at my assigned station.  I move the mouse around a little, and in two seconds my eyes are assaulted by bright colors.  More specifically, a white screen with a black number "8" in the middle.  I click on the Windows icon in the bottom-left corner, open Microsoft Office Excel, and begin my work day.  It's quite an easy job, and it pays a decent amount of cash--$15 per hour.  Since I work 8 hours each day and 5 days a week, the cash I make is decent.  Around 12:00, I walk to the water cooler to refresh with a drink of water and stop by the vending machine to get a small snack for lunch, then I return to my workspace and take a ten minute break to eat my snack.  After I'm finished, I throw the wrapper in the trash can under my desk and continue working.

Around 4:00, I save my work and let the monitor go idle, walk downstairs to punch out, walk to the school where my kids are waiting, and walk home with them.  When I open the door, I see my wife either cleaning, watching TV, or cooking.  When I arrive in the house, I let my wife know to start dinner if she hasn't already, I head upstairs to our bedroom to take my formal clothes off and change into something more casual, and I spend time with the kids until dinner is ready.  My wife asks how everybody's day went, and we all share the events that transpired.  For me, it was nothing special.  It was never anything special.  Just me sitting in front of a computer all day typing numbers into blank rectangles.  For my kids, however, it was always some new story, whether it was "We played dodgeball today," or "I didn't get picked, and then this big guy punched me in the stomach."  No matter what day it was, there was always something new going on in the kids' lives.  After dinner, I would brush my teeth and check the news.  The kids would play games in their bedroom or in the living room.  I often envy them because there was always something new happening in their lives.  At 8:00, however, we would tell the kids to go to bed, and we would all go to bed for the night. Sometimes I would wonder how I could change my daily routine.  It was quite dull, and every day was quite uneventful for me.  Indeed, the youth are so lucky to be able to live every day differently.

*BEEP!*  *BEEP!*  *BEEP!*

I groaned as the alarm clock kept beeping.  I reached over to turn off the alarm clock, pulled the covers off of me, and sat on the bed for a few minutes.  Just then, I heard a voice coming from behind me.

"Morning, Stan."

I turn my head and see my wife laying in bed, staring at me, strands of brown hair covering her eyes.  "Morning, Sam."

"You want me to wake up the kids?" she asked.

"Sure thing, dear," I replied.

Sam nodded, pulled the covers off of her, and walked out of the bedroom, making sure to close and lock the door behind her, but not without turning back.  "Eggs and bacon as usual?"

I went to the bathroom, locked the door, took my clothes off, and took a shower.  After my shower, I dried myself with a white towel, brushed my teeth, and shaved.  Better safe than sorry, I thought.  Afterwards, I got dressed in my usual formal business attire--a white button-up shirt, a black tie, a suit, a pair of gray pants that matched the suit, a belt, a pair of black socks, and my black dress shoes.  I unlocked and opened the bedroom door and proceeded to walk down the hallway.  I reached the stairs and decided I'd try something different today.  I slid down the rail.  Well, I would have if I didn't lose my balance halfway down and tumble the rest of the way down the stairs.  As soon as I got to the bottom, I could hear snickering coming from both of the kids.

"Nice one, dad," the older sibling said.

"Oh, hardy har har.  Laugh it up, you two," I replied.  "I'm gonna go see if the paperboy dropped off a newspaper."

"Already did," the younger one said. "Here you go, dad."  She then handed him the newspaper.

"Thanks, Crystal," I said happily.  I then proceeded to sit beside her and open the newspaper.  Oh, dear.  Seems that there was an earthquake pretty close to here, I thought.  Out of instinct, I reached for my mug labeled "#1 DAD," but it wasn't there.  "Hey, honey?"

"Don't worry, I'll have the coffee ready in a minute," Sam replied, knowing what I was going to say.

I nodded, and turned my head back to the newspaper.  Packers lost against the Ravens 21-28, I see.  Hmm...that looks like a good deal for that car.  Too bad we can't afford one... huh.  Cheap apartments for rent.  I think Wade would enjoy something like that.  I heard the sound of my mug being gently set on the table.  "Thanks, hun," I said, grabbing the mug and taking a sip.

"You're welcome," Sam replied.

I got back to reading the newspaper, but nothing in particular really stuck out.  So I decided to get up, go to the living room, grab a pencil from the white mug on the coffee table, return to the dining room, and start on the daily crossword.  This always helps pass the time, I thought.  Hmm...happy, sad, or angry...seven letters...well, it could be 'feeling' or 'emotion,' so I'll try the vertical.  Hmm...to avoid or dodge...five letters...well, the only word I can think of is 'evade,' and if that's the case it reveals the previous answer, which is 'emotion.'  I started scribbling in the answers I came up with in the appropriate blanks.  Hah!  Two down!  Now, to find the rest...  Just as I was about to start on the next word, I heard plates being set on the table.  I decided this was the best time to return the pencil to the mug and set the newspaper on the coffee table.

"Honey!  Breakfast's ready!" Sam called out.

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute!" I replied as my eyes darted over to the clock on the wall.  7:00 already? I thought as I moved to sit at the dining room table.

As I saw my kids off to school, I waved and began to walk down the street, occasionally meeting a few other people.  Most of them left me alone because they had other business to attend to, but I knew the feeling.

"Hey, Stan," a monotone voice rang out, causing me to cringe.

"Oh... hey, Wade," I replied, trying to replicate his monotone.  "How's it going?"

"Oh, you know... business as usual," he replied.  "Honestly, I'm not even sure why we even have these jobs."

Great... here he goes again... I thought.  "What's the problem with the job you have?"

He gave a long, drawn out sigh that made him sound depressed.  "Well, the pay is nice, but the people I meet are so bland and the job is boring... I knew I was more cut out to be a gym instructor."

"Look... opportunity is knocking.  You just have to answer the door, and you're on your way to becoming a gym instructor.  We've talked about this several times, and you're still doing the job you already have.  Honestly, it seems like you're not trying anymore.  Look... there are apartments for rent if you're interested in moving and starting fresh."

That got a reaction out of him.  "Oh... well, I guess you're right.  I need to cheer up."  He then gave me a weak smile.  "I'll take that into heart this time.  I promise."  And with that, he walks to the building across the street from the building I was headed to.

"You always say that," I called out as he walked away.  I then proceeded to enter the office, where I got a few greetings.

"Good morning, Stan," came a voice from a desk in the corner.  "Just fill out the punch card as usual."

"Thanks, Rebecca," I replied as I proceeded to pick up a pen and punch card.  I wrote my name and looked up to check the time.  8:00 on the dot, as usual, I thought as I wrote down the time, gave Rebecca the punch card, and walked to the other corner where the stairs were located.

I walked down the middle aisle, about two rows up, and found my desk to the right.  I proceeded to sit in my chair as I looked around the office to inspect it.  The trash can was a little full, and my workspace was a little bit cluttered.  I moved to take most of the unnecessary clutter and fill the trash can, take it down the aisle in the opposite corner of the stairs, and dump it in the bigger trash can, which was getting full as well.  Luckily, I wasn't the janitor.  I took the small trash can back to my office space with me, and I set it back under the desk.  I took a little time to crack my joints, as most employees did, and powered up the computer.  As it booted up, I decided to look around at some of the other stuff on my desk.  My folders were neatly stacked, save for the one with a few papers in it...  Did I throw out some of this week's tax files? I thought as I searched through the folder, finding them within seconds.  I sighed in relief as I closed the folder and placed it back on the desk.  I looked at the computer, and noticed that there was no log in screen this time.  Just the number 8.  I tried to move the mouse, but I couldn't find it anywhere.  I frantically moved it around, trying to catch a glimpse of it, but to no avail.  I pressed the Windows button on the keyboard, and still nothing.  Then I noticed the 8 beginning to pulsate.  I tried the CTRL-ALT-DEL command, and still nothing happened.

I proceeded to check the computer beside the monitor to see if the mouse and keyboard are plugged in.  Unfortunately, they were.  I sat down, trying to figure out why nothing was working and why my eyes were beginning to go bad.  I decided to turn the computer off.  After five minutes of no response, I held the power button.  When it did nothing, I tried turning off the monitor.  Even that seemed to be malfunctioning, and to add to that, my eyes began to grow even worse as I started seeing black and white spirals around the 8.  I sat back, not sure what to do... and then an idea came.  One so clever that it couldn't possibly fail.  I reached behind the computer and unplugged the monitor.  I sat back in the chair, and was astounded to still see the desktop image getting crazier and crazier.  I then thought about my boss's rule... Only unplug the computer when nothing else will work.  Well, nothing else was working.  I bent over the computer and unplugged the computer.  Instead of the desired result, it seemed to turn off the power on everything else.  I looked back at the monitor as the light grew brighter and brighter, seeming to suck me in...

After a few seconds, the light faded away, and I was shocked to find that I was no longer in my office.  Instead, I was in what looked like a castle.  In front of me stood six...ponies?  I looked from left to right, and scanned every detail of these creatures.  The first one had orange fur, a blonde mane and tail, and a stetson hat.  I've never seen a pony wear any articles of clothing before, I thought.  Next was a white pony with a styled lavender mane and tail.  And I've never seen a pony with such beautiful hair.  I then looked at the strange object protruding from her head.  Is that...a horn?  ...Nah, it couldn't be.  Unicorns don't exist.  The next pony I saw confirmed my fears.  This pony had wings protruding from its back, cyan fur, and a rainbow colored mane and tail.  Pegasuses don't exist either!  What is this place?  And seriously, this pony spent too much time dying its hair.

The next pony was a unicorn with lavender fur and a purple mane and tail with a pink streak running through the middle of it.  Next to the unicorn was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail.  And next to the pegasus was a regular pony.  Finally, something that makes a little bit of sense.  This pony had pink fur and a poofy pink mane and tail.  After I got done inspecting them, I heard a voice coming from beside me.

"Tia, is everything alright?" a gentle voice came from behind me.  "You look troubled."

I turned my head slowly, and I saw a pony that had a horn and wings.  A pony with a horn and wings.  And this one talks.  What else is in this world?  Dragons?  Since the voice I heard was female, I assumed this pony was a she.  Her mane and tail were flowing and sparkling.  Her fur was a dark blue, and her mane and tail were a midnight blue.  I tried to form words, but I could only manage a few inaudible sounds.  I quickly turned my head forward, hoping I was only dreaming.  Alas, the six ponies were still there.  I began to walk forward, but I noticed I was on all fours a little too late.  Immediately, I fell flat on my face.  The sound of snickering came from one of the ponies in front of me, and I heard the sound of  galloping coming toward me.

"Princess!  Are you alright?"