they don't understand me. why would they? they don't know me. why should they? they don't see me. how could they? all they see is what they want to see. I'm no more than a character in their own precious little worlds. well I don't care about them either. their pathetic little morons, none of them will ever understand.
it's sunny out, there's not a cloud in the sky. its bright, too bright. I should just go home now, maybe I will. they won't notice if I'm gone for a day.
I turn to leave the little market in the middle of a town full of pony's I despise, when I'm suddenly stopped by an irritating voice from behind me.
"hi pinky" it says, I knew who it was before she even spoke, you can't hide the stench of false intelligence.
"hidy widy twidy!" I perkishly reply with the most up-beat and energetic expression i can muster. what in Celestia's name could she want now?!
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm super psyched for your party tonight!"-damn! almost forgot the party. just what I need, more time around all these ponies I can't stand...
"ohhh! its gonna be super-duper exelentishious!" I say back, practically bouncing my hooves off while doing so. how could this lavender mare put up with a pony like me?, that's just another reason I hate her the way I do.
"well I guess I'll let you get back to what you were doing, you've must have allot on your hooves to take care of." -yes, why don't you do that. leave me in my peace.
"oh, that's ok twi, I always love company. it is a party after all that I'm getting ready for you silly-filly. oh oh! you should help me get ready and decorate! " -such a lie. why the hay do I do this to myself. now I'm going to have to spend a dreadful evening in hell with my "dear friend" Twilight Sparkle.
"well ok then, if you say so pinky. I guess I can take care of my studies tomorrow." -nice twilight, very nice. you should know that politeness isn't always an invitation.
so me and this annoying little mare stroll off together carrying a barrage of streamers and balloons. well at least she strolls, I tend to have more of a bounce in my step, so to speak.
back at my house, midway through setting up all these bright, colorful, irritating decoration's, a certain unicorn smashes through my front door, almost knocking it right off the hinge's, after taking great care to politely knock prior to the invasion. as if that will excuse her for the pure rudeness of the disturbance. the mare seems to be under great stress, and apparently has no time for the proper care of my property.
Twilight manages the first word. "Rarity?, is everything ok?"
"oh no dear, its horrible, just absolutely horrible!"
"what is?" Twilight asks the traumatized unicorn standing in my living room.
"I have nothing to wear!" she sobs at twilights feat. this drama queen wouldn't know real strife if it slapped her in the face
"whaaaat" I reply in the silliest voice I could manage. "you have a whole shop full of clothing"
"no dear" she retaliates back at me. "that's not the problem."
"than what is?" twilight asks sounding confused, and that's what she is, confused. she may hide her real stupidity behind books and the ability to do a few magic tricks, but I can see past all her lies. even if no pony else can.
"I don't have anything that will match the party decorations. I simply can't do with this theme." Rarity complains.
"I'm sure you will look beautiful in whatever you wear" twilight reassures her. -thank you, just get her out of here.
"well if you say so. I'll go make a new outfit for it right now!" Rarity excitably reply's, her mode improving rapidly, back to her old annoying self. and then runs out off towards her boutique, not even taking the energy to close the door behind her. when will that mare ever learn some manners.
I think this is the part of parties I hate most. why should any pony be put through through as much hell as to stand at a door and happily great pony's they despise into their home?
"Fluttershy!!!" I shout excitably only moments after I spot her, once again bouncing like a maniac.
"oh... hi pinky pie" she shyly mutters looking down at the floor. -what the hay is the matter with that mare anyway? no pony can be that much of a doormat without a reason.
"are you ready-eddy for the party-warty!?"
"well, uh... I guess so, I mean... your party's are always so great and... I..." she trails off until she isn't even audible anymore. -just answer the damn question already! well uh... I guess my ass. to be honest I don't care for them either. those donkey pricks I mean.
"well what are you waiting for! come on in. party's are always so fun! here, let me show you around." I yell back over all the commotion in the background.
"ok, I suppose, if you want I mean"
"well of cores I want you silly-filly"
she clearly didn't notice my teeth grinding as she followed me through my house. then again how could she notice through that pink curtain of a mane she was almost always cowering behind.
I hate party's. too many ponies in one crowded spot, running around making obnoxious commotion out of nothing. I could easily double the entertainment in a quiet room alone with my thoughts. I wouldn't have to deal with morons that way. maybe I could make new friends, quiet ones. ones without personalities. maybe I could befriend a pile of rocks. that would be
perfect for me. they would be more intelligent than most my so call "friends" too.
"bye bye" I shout to the last guest to leave now that the parties finally over. well at least they were the last guest to be leaving tonight. I had almost forgotten about Rainbow Dash who was now passed out on my couch.
I suppose all that cider got to her. I almost feel bad for the poor mare, always trying to drown out her sorrows by bingeing at all my parties. she's pretty pathetic once you get past that "coolness" she uses as a shell to cover her true self. she spends all her time up in the clouds alone pretending she's too cool to do otherwise. you want the truth, she probably doesn't have any close friends at all. I'm probably her closest friend! me, of all ponies, me.
as much as I detest the idea of her lying drunk on my living room sofa, she'd probably get herself killed trying to get home. not that it would matter much. I've been expecting to find a suicide note next to some sort of corpse for months now, but
never finding anything of the sort. honestly, she should just do it already, end her misery. I know she wants to. it would be much quicker that way too, rather than slowly poisoning herself with the boozes. honestly I wouldn't mind helping her if she
worked up the courage to ask. I'm only looking out for her best interest.
for now she can stay here. after all, even with her oversized ego to cover up her truly pathetic self, she's still the bearable one of the bunch.
ah, the smell of sweet apple acres, how I despise it.
"well howdy there Pinky, what brings you to this neck 'o the wood's?" an obnoxious cowpony shouts at me while not even stopping the mind dulling task of bucking trees to great me.
" hi-a Applejack. I just stopped by to ask, where were you last night? my party's are never the same without you." -not that I actually cared.
"oh shucks pinky, I'm sorry I couldn't make it, but you know, with cider season and all, I've had my hooves full." -who was she kidding? she could have easily gotten away for a couple of hours, especially at night. it wasn't like I was throwing this party in the middle of the day.
"well, you do always make the best apple cider" -Dashie sure seemed to think so.
"let me make it up to you. come on in and have some apple pie, fresh outta the oven. granny smiths specialty" -just what I was hoping for, more apples. where does a pony have to go to get something without apples in this town!
"oh! oh! oh! apple pie apple pie how I love apple pie!" I chanted
in response she only chuckles
just about then comes the drunkard herself, most likely looking for me so she wouldn't have to spend another day alone.
"hay there pinky, hey applejack." she says drowsily, most likely still suffering from the hangover. I doubt she even knew it was already one in the afternoon.
"Dashie!!!" I joyously shout as to overcome applejacks humble "how goes it dash?"
"hey Pinky" rainbow yawns back. "I'm doing good"
"yah you sure sound it" I almost muttered aloud.
"say dash, you up for some pie?" Applejack questions the half dead mare
"mmmm, I could go for a little breakfast."
the two walk towards the humble red barn at the edge of the orchard and I just bounce after them.
upon entering the little kitchen I'm not too shocked to find Twilight, rarity, and Fluttershy gathered around a table which was about to suffer the experience of yet another horrific apple pie being placed upon it. dear Celestia I should just kill them all right here right now.
we all exchange greetings. such a silly thing to do. if you ask me, simple nodes and grunts of acknowledgement would do just as well.
applejack try's to start a conversation by asking any pony would like whipped cream with their pie to which I reply by
launching up like a rock to grab eight can's from the cupboard chanting "whipped cream! whipped cream!" while doing so.
apparently all this is just too much that it causes Rainbow Dash to snort "Pinky Pie, inky Pie, you're so random." before she puts her head down on the table and begins to doze off.
I felt the sudden urge to snort "rainbow Dash, you're so pathetic" right back, barely managing to restrain myself from doing so.
than applejack pulls a foul smelling pie out of the oven. "best pie in all of Equestria" she lies to herself.
"it sure is" the ignorant lavender bookworm replies. just as fooled by the pie as Applejack, if not more so.
"well, I've got to get back to bucking trees soon so let's eat up" -she really has convinced herself that she has that much work hasn't she. I've never known some pone else who possessed this ability to lie to one's self that is so clear in the orange tree kicker.
"I shoulda just stayed on the rock farm." I mutter apparently just a little too loud.
twilight looks at me in horror and I know I'm about to get the lecture of a lifetime from her.
"Pinky Pie! what are you talking about!?" she says in disbelief.
"what, oh nothing, let's just have some of that delicious pie!" I try to say in my usual bubbleish tone.
apparently Applejack herd it to causing her to try to be some sort of therapist "you ok shugarcube?"
"I won't be if you call me sugar cube again." I mutter surrendering to the fact they caught my comment.
applejack decides to be a nuisance and comfort me. "Pinky, it's not like you to be like this, were your friends, you can tell us if something's wrong." -how the hay did this pony ever get the element of honesty!?
"nothings wrong, I'm just kidding." I say trying and failing to convince them to ignore my earlier comments.
"you don't need to worry dear, were here for you" rarity buts in.
I look around at all their expecting eyes, well all except for rainbow who couldn't care less as she drooled on the table in her slumber. reasons like this is why she's the bearable one.
finally I snap.
"you want to know what's wrong!" I shout "I can't stand it here! I can't stand you! I can't stand anypony! you don't know me! you're not my friends! you all just need to leave me alone! everypony needs to just leave me alone!"
all I get in response is the snorting of a freshly awaken Rainbow Dash, who only fell right back into a drunk slumber. that and the squeals of Fluttershy who was now attempting to hide under the table. the rest just stare at me in shock and amazement.
after a couple minutes of silence twilight try's to speak up "but... but all the parties?" she can barely speak.
"you think I like them? hunh, those damn parties are hell to me" I'm still shouting, apparently waking dash for good this time, as she was looking around in confusion, trying to figure out where her pie could possibly be, only to seem very disappointed when she noticed that the now petrified applejack had drooped it on the floor.
"well than, why in tarnation would you throw them?" the wannabe shrink questions me once she regained her ability to move her mouth.
"because I have to."
"noponys making you" twilight buts back in.
"you don't understand."
"understand what" dash asks still trying to figure out exactly what happened to cause such outburst's.
"you see this little picture of balloons on my ass? well this little bastard says I have to throw parties and make people happy."
"but... you don't have to throw the parties if you don't want to"
"oh don't I applejack? well I suppose I could just kick trees instead? would that make you happy? the universe says making others happy is my purpose, and I'm damn good at my purpose."
"apple bucking is a proud apple family tradition!"applejack protest, once again a complete lie of hers that she actually believes.
"I'm going home." I snort as I start to walk away." and I don't want to see any pony for the rest of the day!"
as I'm walking out the door the only audible noise is a sheepish voice as it refer to my earlier statement. "but you're not making any pony happy now." it replies shyly.
tomorrow ill just come back as girlish and foolishly as ever. they will probably forget the whole incident in a week anyway. they will just rinse the real me from their memories so they can relish in my fake and disgusting personality that I honestly do despise so much.
they don't know me.
nopony knows me.
and nopony ever will.
