Chapter 1: Hospitality

        Most of my life has been leading up to this moment.  I’ve finally finished my grandfather Raymond Citadel’s work, and the book I now hold in my hands is the result.  I gingerly crack it open, stare at the black rectangle of ink on the upper half of the otherwise blank first page, and wait for it to turn into a picture of a place I’ve only seen on TV before:  Ponyville.

        I adjust my glasses, grasp the book tightly and focus my mind on the image, and in seconds, reality dissolves around me, and then reforms into the image I saw in the book.

        I’ve done it.  I, Jaxxon Markus Citadel, have finally created and crossed into another reality.  If only Grandpa could’ve been here with me to share in the excitement.  Well, at least I’ll give him all the credit.  Without his unfinished work and notes to guide me, I’d still be on Earth with nothing but an inheritance burning a hole in my pocket and nothing productive to use it on.

        I look around and get my bearings.  I’m really close to the center of town.  I have no idea what to do first, though.  Maybe find Pinkie and get the inevitable out of the way?  Nah.  She’ll find me soon enough on her own, I’m sure.  Maybe talk to Twilight since she’s the most famous?  No.  That’s no reason.  I need my first activity to have meaning!  Purpose!

        And so I end up wandering around the town, looking for something to do.  At first, the ponies can’t stop staring at me, and some even rub their eyes as if I shouldn’t exist.  However, after a while, some of the ponies start giving me cheerful waves and even a few happy greetings.  Looks like I got things written down in the book correctly.  Some things are different, but only because I wanted them to be.  Oh, I probably missed some details, sure.  But they’ve most likely filled themselves in.  I mean, why else would I be able to get in?  An incomplete world would most likely disallow entry, right?

        I keep thinking to myself and wander around aimlessly for almost an hour before I hear a melodic voice speak up behind me:

        “Mister Human?  Are you lost?”

        I jump almost three feet in the air before spinning around and looking down at the mare who just spoke.  She’s mint-green with a mint and white mane and tail, and she’s got a lyre Cutie Mark.

        I’ve just run into Lyra Heartstrings.  I didn’t plan on running into her yet.  This might’ve not been as well thought out as I first led myself to believe.

        “Um…  H-Hello…” I manage as my mind spins at a million rpm.  I knew I was going to run into Lyra eventually, and I wrote her as a human enthusiast mainly because so many bronies see her as one, but I didn’t expect to run into her on my first day here!

        “Hi!” she chirps happily.  “My name’s Lyra Heartstrings!  What’s yours?”

        “Jaxxon Citadel,” I mumble.

        “Hello there, ‘Jack Son’!” she replies.  “So, are you lost?”

        I groan inwardly, but put on a patient smile.  I could hear that she’d botched the spelling!  She even thinks my first name is two names!

        “Actually, it’s ‘Jaxxon’,” I tell her, making sure to blend the first and second syllables together to ensure she realizes that they’re both part of one name.  “It’s spelled weird, too:  J-A-X-X-O-N.”

        She scrunches up her face in thought for a short while before nodding.  “Huh.  Human names are stranger than the books said they are.”

        “Didn’t you just hear me say mine is spelled weird?” I breathe in frustration.

        “Yeah,” she replies, still smiling, “but I thought human names that ended in things like ‘-son’ were always last names.”

        “Okay, fine,” I relent, if only to possibly shut her up, “I guess someone who’s never been around humans and only read about us would expect a name ending in ‘-son’ to be a last name.”

        She nods in confirmation, and I start to turn to leave, but she puts a hoof on my hip to stop me.

        “Wait!  You didn’t answer my other question!” she protests as I turn to face her and look down at her again.  “Are you lost?”

        I sigh and shake my head.  “No, I’m not lost.  I just have no idea what to do, now that I’m here.”

        Lyra grins again and turns around while grabbing my hand with her magic.  “Come on, then!  I’ll show you around!  Follow me!”

        And just like that, an excited, human loving mint green unicorn mare is now dragging me along through Ponyville.  Well, that could’ve gone better.

        The first stop is Carousel Boutique, where Rarity lives.  Great.  Just great.  I can only imagine how she’ll react to a being that has to wear clothes all the time.  Unfortunately, I’m about to go from mere imagination to knowing exactly how she’ll react.

        Lyra pulls me through the door to the boutique and I look around nervously.  It looks just like it does in the show, of course, but just because you’ve seen a place on TV a gajillion times doesn’t mean that you’ll instantly be comfortable with the actual place.

        “Rarity?  You here?”  Lyra calls into the shop.

        For a few seconds, there’s silence.  But just as I’m about to breathe a sigh of relief…

        “Coming!  Just a second!” a voice calls from the back room.  I know that voice.  Well, duh.  Everyone knows the voices of the Mane Six.  They’re in every episode!

        Rarity comes out from the back of the shop wearing those red glasses.  Shoot.  This is getting worse.  What have I gotten myself into?

        Rarity opens her mouth to speak, but no sound comes out when she sees me.

        I cringe.  Not good.  Not good at all.

        “Rarity, this is Jaxxon the human!” Lyra proclaims, giving me a magic shove forward, causing me to stumble slightly.

        “So, they do exist, after all,” the alabaster unicorn whispers.  “And if what everything you keep saying about them is true,” her eyes sparkle as she looks me over, “he’s going to need a lot of outfits, am I right?”

        I shake my head vigorously, but neither mare notices.  I have plenty of clothes at home!  I don’t need this right now!

        Lyra nods her head rapidly several times, still grinning.  “That’s why I brought him here first!  I just knew that out of all the ponies in Ponyville, you’d love to meet a real-live human almost as much as me!”

        “Wait, I—“

        “Now, darling, hold still while I take your measurements, please,” Rarity tells me, talking right over me.  “It’s been a while since I’ve made an outfit for a bipedal customer, and I’ve been itching to do it again!”

        I sigh and resign myself to my fate, holding still while the fashionista takes my measurements.  This is going to be a long day.

        It’s been three hours now, and my patience is wearing thin.  Rarity has made a few outfits so far, but I wish she’d stop.  I’m getting hungry, and I’m starting to get stressed out.  I never got along with stress very well.  Especially during spring and fall.  And it just happens to be the middle of spring right now.

        “Uh, Rarity?” I ask.

        “Not now, darling,” she says in an attempt to shush me while levitating a half-finished shirt over to where I’m standing and holding it against me.

        “I mean it, this is serious,” I insist as I start to feel a slight twinge in my left eye socket.

        “Can’t it wait?” the fashionista asks, raising an eyebrow.

        “No, it can’t,” I reply through clenched teeth as the pain rapidly worsens.

        “Are you sure?” she asks.

        “I’m absolutely sure!” I growl as the pain changes from a simple twinge to a hot piercing sensation; like a molten drill boring into my eye socket.  “I need to leave!  Now!”

        Before Rarity can ask any more questions, I place a hand on my left temple and dash out of the shop.

        Lyra had been waiting in the front, and as I bolt past her, she starts to gallop after me.

        “Jaxxon, wait!” she cries out.  “I’m sure whatever happened in there can—”

        “I’m going home!” I snap as I pull the book out of a large pocket in my jacket.  “I’m in pain!  I gotta leave!”

        “But—”

        “No buts!” I cry out as I crack open the book and try to focus on the black rectangle of ink on the first page.  The image of my lab back at my house forms, but the pain is too much for me to handle.  I can’t think straight, so I can’t concentrate on the image.  I can’t get home.  But I need to get home!  I can’t kill this pain on my own!

        “Wait,” Lyra says as I start sobbing while pacing back and forth, drawing the attention of pretty much everypony in sight.

        “What?” I growl, fixing her with a glare.

        Usually, when someone sees my eyes when I’m in this state for the first time, they react with either confusion or surprise.  I know what Lyra’s seeing without needing a mirror:  a perfectly normal right eye, and a horribly bloodshot left eye, filled with tears and half shut.

        However, her reaction of shock lasts for only a few seconds, and a look of understanding takes its place.

        “Oh,” she says.  “The books were right on that, too.”

        In spite of the terrible pain starting to spread throughout the left side of my face, I manage to crack my left eye fully open and stare at her with both eyes wide.

        “What books?” I ask through clenched teeth.  Not clenched in anger, but clenched because of the terrible pain.

        “I’ll explain later,” she assures me as she grabs my hand with her magic and drags me along once again.  “Follow me.  I think I can help.”

        I fight down screams of pain as I follow the mint green unicorn through the streets of Ponyville, drawing stares as we pass, finally stopping at a simple two-story house a few agonizing minutes later.

        “This is where I live,” she tells me as I resume pacing.  “I may have something that could help.”

        I start to feel a glimmer of hope, but the familiar despair these headaches bring with them is still far stronger.

        Without another word, Lyra uses her magic to open the door and leads me inside her home.

        “Bon Bon?  You home?” she calls out after she shuts the door behind me.

        “I’m in the kitchen, as usual!” a female voice replies from further inside.

        “Well, I need to use the kitchen for a little bit,” Lyra says as she leads me into her living room.  “We’ve got a guest, and he’s in a lot of pain!  But I’ll need the kitchen for a remedy that I think might work!”

        “Okay,” The other voice says, coming closer accompanied by the sound of hooves on tile.  “The kitchen’s—”

The voice cuts off as its owner rounds the corner and stares at me.

        “Lyra, what—”

        “No time to answer questions, Bonnie!” Lyra shouts as she dashes in what I assume is the general direction of the kitchen.  “I need to make some tea!”

        I resume the pacing I had been doing outside, hand covering my left eye and groaning softly when I’d rather be shrieking in agony.

        After a few seconds of the cream-colored mare with a pink and blue mane and tail staring at me, she blinks and approaches me cautiously.

        “So, your kind does exist,” she whispers.  I reply with a grunt before I resume groaning.

        “Well, I hope Lyra didn’t overwhelm you or anything,” she says with a weak smile and a light chuckle.

        I uncover my left eye and fix her with a glare from my mismatched eyes.  She gasps, and just like Lyra, she appears to understand after thinking for a few seconds.

        “Oh, you have that,” she whispers.  “The ‘Curse of Agony’, as one of Lyra’s books called it.”

        “They’re called Cluster Headaches,” I snap.

        “Well, you’re lucky you ran into Lyra,” Bon Bon continues.  “She knows a lot about your kind, and if anypony can help with your condition, it’s her.”

        The conversation has been helping me to gradually get my mind off the pain, and I offer her a weak smile of my own before wincing as the pain suddenly spikes in intensity.

        We don’t say anything else for a few minutes—though I wish we would, since talking seems to help a little—and Lyra suddenly walks back into the room levitating a tray with a steaming teapot, a few teacups, and a small jar of honey on it.

        “If I remember correctly, the book said rosehip tea should help,” the unicorn explains as she sets the tray down on the coffee table.  “I’ve got to get one more thing, so I’ll be right back.  Help yourself to the tea, Jaxxon.”

        I nod.  I know this remedy well.  It’s not a perfect one, but it does help.

        I pour a cup of the tea, add a little honey to it, and drain the cup in a few seconds, ignoring the heat assaulting my tongue.

        “Wait, are you really supposed to drink it that fast?” Bon Bon asks in surprise as I pour a second cup and repeat the process.

        I simply nod and pour myself a third cup and do the same with it.

        As I’m pouring a fourth cup, Lyra returns with a small bowl and a jar of cotton balls.

        “I see you already knew what to do,” she observes as she sets the items down on the table.

        “Of course I do,” I reply, still fighting off the pain as I reach for the bowl.  “Dad discovered this treatment on the Internet years ago, and I used it regularly until I found better ones.”

        “The Inter-what-now?” Bon Bon asks as I pour some of the tea into the bowl and open the jar of cotton balls.

        I ignore her as I place a few cotton balls in the bowl of tea and return to pouring my fourth cup of tea.

        “Lyra?” Bon Bon whispers.  “What’s he doing?”

        “I know it looks weird, but part of the treatment involves applying the tea to the affected eye while it’s closed,” Lyra whispers back.

        After draining two more cups of tea, I set down the teacup and pick up one of the cotton balls from the bowl of tea.  I close my left eye completely, and wince as I place the tea-soaked cotton on my eyelid.  The heat burns, but it feels cooler than the intensity of my headache, so I endure it.

        I resume pacing as I hold the cotton ball on my closed eye.  The remedy is starting to do its job, but I know that this remedy never fully stops the pain on its own, so I turn to ask Lyra a question.

        “Do you have any capsaicin?” I mutter.

        “Wait, what?” she asks in confusion.

        “You know, the stuff that makes peppers burn?” I ask hopefully.

        Lyra shakes her head, but Bon Bon’s eyes widen, and she nods.

        “I make spicy candy sometimes, and I was actually in the middle of making some,” she informs me.  “Why?  How will it help?”

        I bite back another scream of pain as I crouch down to meet the mare on eye level.  Sitting is never a good idea with these headaches, but I feel eye contact is needed here, anyway.

        “I need you to mix it with some water and put it in something I can use to squirt it up my nose,” I manage between deep breaths.

        Both Lyra and Bon Bon look at me in disbelief.

        “Okay, I think the pain has corrupted your sense of humor,” Lyra says, backing up a few steps.

        “I’ll explain how it works after the pain’s gone,” I assure them.  “Now, could you please do what I asked?”

        “Of course!” Bon Bon replies before dashing off to the kitchen.

        I go back to my pacing and groaning from earlier, fully aware of the worried look on Lyra’s face as she watches me.

        “I know the Curse is only a human condition,” she begins.

        “As I told Bon Bon, they’re Cluster Headaches,” I cut in, trying to keep the pain out of my voice and failing miserably at it.

        “Okay then,” Lyra replies without missing a beat.  “I know your headaches are just a human condition, like the book said, but I wish I knew how you feel.  I’d like to tell you that I’ve felt your pain, but, being a pony, I can’t.”

        “Your sympathy is noted,” I sigh.  I’ve never liked it when people tell me that they know how I feel when they obviously don’t.  Clusters are way different than other headaches, and a lot more intense.

        As we continue to wait, Lyra trots up to me and asks me a question:

        “Do you mind if I use a spell so I can know how it feels?”

        “You’ll regret it,” I groan, shaking my head.  “But go ahead.”

        Her horn lights up with magic, and I feel energy coursing through the center of my pain for a few seconds before Lyra’s horn winks out and she puts a hoof to her own eye for a few seconds and screams.

        “How do you live with that?” she whimpers.  “That’s more painful than anything else I can think of!”

        “I warned you,” I groan as Bon Bon reenters the room with what looks like a food coloring dropper held in her teeth.

        She sets it on the coffee table and looks at me warily.

        “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asks doubtfully.  “That’ll burn really bad.”

        I simply nod and pick up the dropper, stick the tip up my left nostril, and give the dropper a rough squeeze, causing the burning fluid to rush up my nose.

        I grunt in pain as the burning in my nose starts, but I take a deep breath through my nose to make sure that none of it drips out.

        The burning gets worse, causing my eyes to water, but I can already feel the headache pain starting to lessen, so I give the two mares a reassuring smile.

        They both sigh in relief, and Bon Bon turns her head towards Lyra.

        “Why did you scream?” she asks.

        “I used a spell so I could feel his pain,” Lyra explains, putting a hoof over her left eye for a few seconds and shuddering.  “The books were right!  Oh Celestia, that was torture!”

        “Be grateful you only felt it for a few seconds,” I sigh as the pain continues to recede.  “I have to deal with that on pretty much a daily basis for weeks at a time.”

        I try to stay on my feet, but the pain is starting to get replaced by fatigue, so I sit down on their couch and wait for the pain to finish going away.

        “Wait, the fatigue part is also true?” Lyra asks as she notices my tired expression.

        “Yep,” I mumble as the pain finally stops.  “Dealing with that much pain is—” I stifle a yawn “—really draining.”

“Well, you can nap here, if you’d like,” Lyra offers.

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” I mumble in reply.

        “Oh, it’s no big deal,” Lyra tells me before looking at her friend.  “Right, Bon Bon?”

        The candy mare smiles and nods.  “Of course!  You can rest here, Mister…”

        “My name’s Jaxxon,” I reply.  “It’s spelled weird, but I’ll tell you how to spell it later.”  This time, I let myself yawn.  I’m just too tired to care much about anything but some rest at the moment.  If I had just a little more energy, I probably would remember that Bon Bon probably doesn’t know how my name is normally spelled.

        “Just make yourself comfy on the couch,” Lyra says as she and Bon Bon turn to leave the room.  “I’ll bring you some blankets and a pillow, okay?”

        I nod tiredly as I lie down on my hosts’ couch, and I drift off to sleep in seconds, even without a pillow or blankets.