Call of Pony: Zombies

by Shobie

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Profanity, Violence, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Call of Duty
Length: 5406

Our four heroes are transported to equestria with no way to escape, can they make a new non-violent life in this new pony ridden place of friendship? Or will they all share the same fate of insanity their German friend already suffers from?

Our four 'heroes' are transported to equestria with no way to escape. Can they make a new non-violent life in this new pony ridden place of friendship? Or will they all share the same fate of insanity their German friend already suffers from?

Main Characters, Categories, and Content Rating are subject to change as the fic updates.

Published 2014-04-19 19:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-25 05:41:23 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

East Germany,

West Berlin, 1968

Deutsches sol Kino (Kino der Toten)

The screams of a single Nova 6 crawler were heard by four zombie survivors.

“I sink zat is ze last one.” Edward Richtofen stated to the other three.

“Good, I need break from killing billions of zombies by myself.  And I need drink.” Nikolai Belinski added, sitting on the ground beneath him. “Ugh, alleyway is uncomfo- comforta- eh fuck you.”

“Bullshit ‘yourself’!”  yelled Tank Dempsey  “Hey Tak, Can you use your grenades to make that freakbag a crawler?”

Takeo Masaki simply nodded.  He walked towards the Nova 6 until he was about 10 feet in front of it.  Takeo lifted a grenade from his belt, pulled the pin, and threw it at the ground, rolling it roughly a meter in front of him.  The crawler paid no attention to the explosive rolling before it.  Right when it was in front the grenade, it detonated, severing the legs from the torso, leaving the exposed flesh dragging across the dirt in the middle of the ally, effectively slowing its movement.

Takeo then walked back to the other three.  “I would rike to Pack-a-Punch my AK74u, ret’s head to the tereporter.”

Nikolai looked at the crawler, well, half-looked half-glared as he tried to focus his eyes on it.  “Heheh, we made crawler out of crawler.” He chuckled a bit, then let out a loud belch.

“Alright, get up you stupid drunk, we’re going to the Pack-a-Punch machine.” said Dempsey.

Nikolai hesitated then groaned as he stood up.

“I vill link ze teleporter’s receiver in ze lobby.”  Richtofen informed.  He then began sprinting past the crawler, through the alley, past the mystery box, and into the lobby.  He stepped next to the teleporters receiver pad, kneeling down to access the keypad used for linking it to its sibling on the stage.  After punching in the correct code, which took him a few tries, he then began to sprint towards the main teleporter, which is rather difficult when carrying an RPK like he was.  Nikolai then stumbled past Richtofen with the Thundergun in his arms.

“Look at what I found!”  Nikolai exclaimed with great enthusiasm.

“Good for you Nikolai, try to hit Dempsey viss zat vill you?” Richtofen responded with a devilish grin.

“Nah, he is cool guy.  Plus he have Ray Gun, I don’t want him down.”  said Nikolai as he proceeded into the lobby, leaving the doctor frowning in the hall connecting the lobby and the main theater room.

“Nikolai wrong way.”  Richtofen raised his voice so the Russian could hear him.

“I’m going to get Quick Revive.” stated Nikolai without turning around.  “With this,” He lifted the Thundergun over his head so Richtofen could see.  “You’ll need reviving long before me.” Nikolai laughed as he continued towards Quick Revive.

Richtofen simply shrugged.  “Let him vaste his points.” he said to no one in particular.

Nikolai happily walked up to the Quick Revive machine and pushed the large white button on the front.  He felt as if his blood was being drained for a few seconds as his points were being drained by 1500 before he heard the bottle fall onto the floor below.  Nikolai picked up the bottle of Quick Revive Soda, twisted the cap off with ease, took a swig, then threw the bottle on the ground, effectively shattering it.

“I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy.” said Nikolai with distaste. “I need to wash it down with vodka.”

He started back towards the stage taking a swig from his vodka bottle when a sharp pain admitted from his right leg.  “OW! My shins!”  He dropped the bottle onto the receiver pad and it shattered, sparks flying everywhere.  “Die now, son of bitch!”  Nikolai took out his knife, stabbing the blade into the crawlers skull.  “No, it’s my vodka!  MINE!  MY OWN!”  A tune signaling the end of the round played throughout the building.  “Oh shit...”  Nikolai began towards the teleporter, sprinting rather clumsily in his drunken state.

“Nikolai, what did you DO?!”  Dempsey screamed to the approaching Russian from inside the teleporter.

“It made me spill vodka!”  Nikolai argued, as he ran inside the teleporter.

Yet another familiar tune played, this time signaling the beginning of a round.

The blood curdling screams of flesh eating zombies were heard by the group.

Dempsey sighed. “Fuckin’ commy...” he whispered  “Round 54 here we come!  Prepare to die maggot-sacks!”

They came in from all directions as fast as lightning.  Richtofen barely had enough time to pull the lever to initiate the teleportation sequence.  The group flew threw all too familiar blue vortex that normally displays various images of people and objects as well as taking them to and from the Pack-a-Punch room and other rooms that seemed to consist of a little girls bedroom, a blood covered version of said bedroom, a also blood splattered dentist’s office, and what looks to be a White House conference room.  Although now the images have changed to what looks like old pastel colored medieval style housing, multicolored equine shaped creatures, and even some English writing.  Although the only word they could make out was “Equestria”.

“What the fuck?” whispered Dempsey as they flew through the vortex for much longer than usual.  They finally exited the blue tunnel, surrounded by the teleporters electricity.  However they were at least 75 feet in the air, and that number was subtracting fast.

“Weeeeeee! Zis is fun!”  Richtofen screamed maniacally with a smile while the rest just screamed as they fell.

They landed in some bushes that softened their fall slightly.

Crack!

“OW!  MY FUCKING LEG!”  Yelled the Russian.

The rest of the group rose from the bushes and stood over Nikolai.

“Aw, did ze ‘Sleeping Bear’ get a boo boo?” Richtofen taunted, still smiling from the adrenaline rush inflicted by the fall.

“Eh, Fuck you!” Nikolai screamed, mostly out of pain as he gripped his leg.

“Shut up, It'll heal.” said Dempsey.

Nikolai moved his hands to look at his now broken leg.  The bone had broken the skin and he was bleeding through his clothes.  He rolled up his pants to get a better look at the wound.  The bone was sticking through the skin about an inch.

“Ugh, my vision is all red and stuff…  Sure could use some of my FUCKING VODKA!”  Nikolai shouted angrily.

Then the broken bone started to sink back into the flesh.  Nikolai clenched his teeth then exhaled in relief as the wound stopped bleeding and sealed itself up.  “There we go, good as vodka.”  he said as he stood and shook his leg, testing it.

A rustle could be heard from behind the group.  They all turned and brought up their weapons, aiming down their sights towards the sound. They all heard a soft “Eep!”.

Before them stood a pale yellow four-legged creature with pink hair along its head and neck, much like one of the images in the vortex, it seemed to be crouched as if trying to hide behind nothing.

“E-e-excuse me, b-but what are you?” said a soft voice barely above a whisper.

“I vould like to ask you ze same question.”  Richtofen said in a fascinated tone as he lowered his weapon.

“O-oh, okay…  I-I’m Fluttershy a-and I’m a pegasus...”

“What?”  Dempsey asked lowering his weapon as the others did the same.  “I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Fluttershy.”  she said, rising slightly.

“Do you have any vodka Shutterfly?”  Nikolai asked hopefully.

“Um, no I don’t, but there is a bar in town. And, i-it’s Fluttershy.” Fluttershy squeaked while rising to full height, becoming a bit more comfortable around these strange new creatures.

Nikolai smiled at that.  “What are we waiting for?  Let’s go get vodka!”  he then walked off into the forest behind him.

“Oh, please, don’t go in there!”  Fluttershy tried to yell, but only a slight whisper came out.

“Hey ass-maggot!  Not that way!” shouted Dempsey.

Fluttershy flinched at the loud noise and vulgarity.  “Oh, could you not use that kind of language?  I-I mean, if thats okay with you.”

 “Oh whatever, I’ll try.” said Dempsey.

“Which way then?”  Nikolai called out walking back towards them.

“Follow me please, I’ll take you.”  Fluttershy said, then she remembered her unanswered question.  “Oh, um, if you tell me what you are on the way.”

“Deal, deal!  Just take me to vodka!”  Said the now happy Russian, running towards Fluttershy.

She flinched a bit at the movement then smiled.  “Alright, this way!”

Chapter 1

"Oh my,  how fascinating!"  Fluttershy said in a tone of awe.

 She jumped up and hovered next to the group which, to everyone's surprise, seemed to frighten Takeo a bit.

They had stopped and confronted Takeo, demanding to know his reasons for being scared by the rather adorable pegasus.

“A warrior is never scared!  But fright should not be possibre for such a creature.  Her rings are too small.  It is…  Unhory”  said Takeo with a slight grimace towards Fluttershy.

The pegasus flinched at Takeo’s words, then dropped and hid behind her mane at the look he gave her.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry.  M-my wings are smaller than a n-normal pony’s b-but my friends all told me it wasn’t that noticeable.”  Fluttershy said, beginning to tear up.

“Good job ‘Mighty Warrior’, you made girl cry.  So honorable...”  The Russian said in the most sarcastic tone he could muster in his drunken state.

Takeo gave him a look of pure hatred.  “You know nothing of honor, Russian!”

Nikolai just rolled his eyes and reached for his non-existant bottle of vodka.  Upon feeling nothing there he just groaned and looked towards the still weeping pegasus.

“We almost there?”  Nikolai asked in a rushed tone.

The butter-colored mare just hid further in her mane and continued sobbing.  “I c-can’t believe my f-friends lied to me like that...”  she said.

“Hey there, remember we aren’t from here.”  Dempsey said kneeling down and reaching an arm around her comforting her.  She pressed into his side as he continued.  “Tak just means that in our world there are different physics it seems, when it comes to flight.

“I’m sure it isn’t noticable by pegasi standards, it’s just different to us.”  Dempsey finished smiling down at her.

Fluttershy stopped shaking and took a deep breath, looking up at him.  She smiled and nuzzled his side.

“Alright, now can you please take us to the bar so we can get Nikolai some vodka?”  Dempsey asked as he rose, much to the mare’s dismay.

Nikolai looked at her with pleading eyes.

“Sure, let’s go!”  she said walking towards where she knew the town was.

They came up to the top of a small hill with a sign that read “Ponyville City Limit”.

“Here we are, the bar is right there in the town square.”  Fluttershy stated happily.  “I’ll show you there just so you don’t scare everypony.”

“Ponyville?  Everypony?  Ah, ze puns are so wunderbar!”  screamed the insane doctor.

Fluttershy flinched a little at Richtofen’s sudden outburst then continued forward a few steps before stopping.

“Oh, my.  You’re new, I forgot.”  Fluttershy said turning around to face them.  “Brace yourself for impact when you step forward, I-I mean if thats okay with you.”  The yellow mare trotted away a bit then covered her face with her hooves.

The four looked at each other, then around at the environment.  Seeing nothing suspicious Nikolai stepped his right foot into the city limit.  Then came the left foot stepping next to it.  The Russian shrugged then yelled as he ran towards the town.

“FOR VODKA!”  Nikolai shouted as he ran towards his alcoholic target.

Then out of nowhere he was tackled to the ground and pinned by a pink ball of energy.

“Oh my gosh you’re new here I have to throw you a welcome to Ponyville Nikolai party oh my gosh you have friends I need to throw them all a welcome to Ponyville Takeo party and a welcome to Ponyville Tank party and how could I forget the genius himself Edward Richtofen I need to throw a Welcome to Ponyville Eddy party!”  she took a large 5 second inhale and smiled down at Nikolai.  All everyone could do was stare at the pink pony.

“Get off of me thing!  You’re too hyper!  Like seventh wife…  Ugh, I need a drink.”  Nikolai said tossing her off of him and dusting himself off.

Pinkie’s mane deflated a little, but poofed up in less than a second.  “Well why didn’t you just say so silly?”  She said, grabbing a bottle of Everfree brand vodka out of her mane and handing it to the Russian.  He gave her a look of question, then quickly took the bottle and drank down half of it.  He sighed and smiled as he looked towards the pink pony.

“I like you, you cool with me.”  He said downing another swig of the odd tasting vodka.  “Tastes different, but it is vodka so I don’t care!”

Fluttershy then walked over from where she was hiding.  She looked Nikolai up and down, checking for any injuries.  “Good to see you didn’t get hurt.”  She then looked over to Pinkie, who was smiling at her new alien friends.  “You don’t have to tackle every new pony who comes into town.”

“I know Shy, but I’m just so happy that I get to make new friends!”  Pinkie said.

“Now zat Nikolai has his drink, ve should figure out how ve got here und how to get back.”  said Richtofen.

“Twilight should be able to help!  She’s smart like that!”  said the hyperactive party pony.

“Wunderbar, take us to zis ‘Twilight’.”  said the doctor.

As the group traveled through Ponyville, they received numerous stares, gasps, parents shielding their children, and even a mint green stalker.  Dempsey wanted to thank that creme colored mare with the dark blue and pink mane who finally dragged her away.

They arrived at a giant tree with windows and a small door in front.

“Here we are!  Now, I have to go plan you guys’ parties, bye!”  Pinkie said bouncing off into town.

Fluttershy trotted up to the door and knocked lightly a few times.  After a few more tries, Dempsey stepped up and knocked firmly on the rather small door, scaring Fluttershy a little.

The door opened and a small purple and green creature stepped into the doorway.

“Huh, Fluttershy?  What are you doing here so late?”  he asked looking up and spotting the four humans.  His eyes went wide and he slammed the door shut.  Fluttershy jumped back and tripped over Dempsey’s foot, falling on the ground with a thump.

The door opened up again, this time a purple pony appeared in the doorway.  She was looking back into the tree.

“Spike it’s rude to slam doors in pony’s faces!  And why are you so jumpy?”  she told the creature who presumably was named ‘Spike’.  The purple pony turned and saw the pegasus recovering from her fall.  “Sorry about that Fluttershy.” she said sheepishly.

“It’s okay Twilight, I can understand him being scared by my new friends.”  Fluttershy said with a smile.

Twilight looked at the pegasus in question then noticed the four figures standing behind her.  Her eyes also widened as she leaned in toward Fluttershy and whispered.  “What are they exactly?”

“They’re harmless humans.”  Fluttershy stated with a smile.  “And they can speak for themselves.  Um, may we come in?  If thats okay with you I mean.”

Twilight looked a bit more calm and nodded.  The six of them entered the library.  “Well, make yourselves at home I guess.  Would any of you like something to drink?”  Twilight asked.

“Vodka?”  Nikolai asked hopefully.

“I sink ve are all good, sanks anyvay.”  Richtofen answered.

The six of them sat in the main room of the library.  Nikolai fiddled with his empty Everfree bottle, spinning it, and pretending it was Takeo and making it die in interesting ways.  While Richtofen sat between him and Takeo, Fluttershy sat to Dempsey's right.  Twilight sat on the other side of the table with Spike, staring at the four humans before her.

“So, what are your names?”  Twilight asked.

“My name is Tank Dempsey, U.S Marine and total bada-  ahem, awesome guy.”  Dempsey pointed to the Russian next to him.  “That’s Nikolai Belinski, Soviet soldier and alcoholic.” Nikolai grunted and continued to spin his bottle.  Tank then moved his finger to the German.  “That is Dr. Edward Richtofen, German scientist working with...”  Dempsey snapped his fingers trying to remember.

“Element 115.”  Richtofen finished.

“That.”  Dempsey continued onward to the Asian.  “This guy is Takeo Masaki, Japanese warrior and he kicks a-  butt.”  Dempsey was getting tired of censoring himself.

“Is there a particular reason you’re here?”  Twilight asked.

“Ve vere told by ze pink pony zat you might be able to help figure out vhy ve are here.”  Richtofen started.  “You see, I built a short range teleporter und ve vere teleporting from ze mainframe to ze receiver visout problems.  But zen somesing happened on our last teleport und ve ended up here.”

When Richtofen finished, Nikolai shifted uncomfortably for a few seconds before speaking up.  “Um, guys”  the Russian began.  Everyone looked at him.  “You know how that crawler made me drop vodka?  Well I kinda dropped it…  On the teleporter.”  He looked around a bit before continuing.  “There were a lot of sparks and stuff, and I think that bottle was almost full.”

“Dammit Nikolai you shtupid drunk!  Visout a vorking receiver it vill be impossible to go back!”  Richtofen shouted.

Fluttershy hid behind Dempsey as the German stood up and raised his hand at the drunk Russian.  Richtofen then closed his eyes and took a deep breath, lowering his hand, and turning towards Twilight.

“Do you mind if I browse ze library?  Reading alvays helps me calm down.”  he asked.

Twilight shook her head.  “Not at all, it’s nice to have someone else here who likes to read as much as me.”

Fluttershy rose from behind the Marine.  “Is it over?”  she asked.

“Yeah, Richtofen went to read.”  Dempsey responded.

“Oh, you don’t have anyplace to stay do you?”  Twilight asked.

Dempsey, Nikolai and Takeo simultaneously shook their heads.

“Well, you can stay here until you can find something a bit more permanent.”  Twilight said.

“Thank you, we promise not to be too much of a bother”  Dempsey said, then looked to Nikolai.  “Well, I can’t speak for all of us.”

“Oh, my, it is really late.  I should probably head home.”  She then stood up and proceeded towards the door before stopping and turning to Twilight.  “Good night Twilight, see you tomorrow.”

Twilight waved her hoof in goodbye.

“Oh, um, Tank, I have a spare bedroom you can use, if you want.”  Fluttershy offered.

“No thanks, I’m good here.  Good night Fluttershy.”  Dempsey waved goodbye.

“Night Tank.”  Fluttershy turned and walked out the door.

Twilight turned to the three humans sitting at her living room table.  “I’ll throw down a few blankets and pillows from upstairs.”  she said.

When all of them were ready to sleep, Twilight magically turned out the lights.  “Good night.”  she called from upstairs.  But the only response she got were the snores of four people sound asleep.  With the addition of the little baby dragon’s snores.  She then crawled into her bed and fell asleep almost as fast as the rest of them.

Chapter 2

Tank awoke, and the smell of pancakes filled his nose.  “What the fuck?  Where am I?”

He sat up from his makeshift bed of blankets and looked around, finding his bearings.

“Oh thats right, I’m in magical fucking pony land...”  He clenched his teeth and held his head in his hands.  “Ugh, I’m starting to think Nikolai’s vodka is contagious.”

Dempsey gathered himself and looked around more thoroughly this time.  He spotted the other three sleeping on their own makeshift blanket beds.  Richtofen was on the other side of the rather large main room facing away from Dempsey in the fetal position.  He snickered at the German.  He proceeded to scan the area, finding the other two also on opposite sides.  To his left, Takeo was sleeping on his back with his fingers intertwined on his stomach.  While to his right, Nikolai was snoring, rather loudly, splayed out across his blankets, half-on half-off.

He returned his attention to the delectable smell coming from, what he guessed, was the kitchen.  He rose up from his blankets, still in his full gear.  Realizing this, he turned around and stripped his person of his guns, his knife, and a few grenades.  He then took off his tannish-green jacket, leaving him with a plain army-green t-shirt.

Sighing in relief at not having to wear them full time anymore, he turned and started towards where he believed the wonderful scent was coming from.  He stepped into, what looked to be, the kitchen and saw the purple pony dumping pancakes onto a platter.  But she wasn’t touching anything, the pan she was using was surrounded in a sort of purple aura.

Twilight looked up at Dempsey.  “Oh, hi Tank!  Sleep well?” she asked with seemingly genuine interest.

“Best sleep I had in years actually.”  he responded flatly as if in a daze.  His gaze darted between the pan and her horn, which was also engulfed in the purplish aura.

"Magic." Twilight stated.

"Huh?”  Dempsey said recovering from his trance.

“It’s magic.  You aren't from here, that’s for sure, so I assumed you were wondering what this was.”  she said pointing at her horn as the aura dissipated.

“The only magic I know of gives us ammo and the ability to kill things instantly."  Tank said.

She looked at him with wide eyes before shaking her head and moving on.  “You want some?”  Twilight asked, gesturing toward the fluffy cakes.  “I made them for you four.”

“Damn right I want some!  I haven't had a home-cooked meal in…”  he pondered for a few seconds.  “ever really.”  he concluded.

“Never?”  Twilight asked with a frown.

“Nope.”

“Well, if you want to go wake your friends up, I'll get some plates and utensils and we can eat.”  the purple alicorn said, turning around and grabbing said items.

Dempsey groaned at the thought of having to deal with a cranky Richtofen.  It was hard enough dealing with a normal Richtofen.

He turned and walked into the main library room where the four of them slept the previous night.  Walking up to the nearest person, Takeo, he knelt down and gently shook the Samurai.  Takeo’s eyes opened instantly and he rose to his feet and drew his katana to Dempseys neck.

“Woah there Tak, It’s just me.  Breakfast is ready.”  Tank said raising his hands.

Takeo held his ground for a few seconds longer before withdrawing his weapon and sheathing it.  “Breakfast?”  he asked confused as he looked around the library.

“Yeah, Twilight made pancakes for all of us.”  Dempsey answered, rubbing his neck where the blade had been.  “In there.” he pointed towards the kitchen.

Takeo nodded then walked off, leaving Tank to wake the other two.  Dempsey walked up to the right of the front door where Nikolai lied, still snoring.  He kicked the Russian a few times in the head.  Nikolai sat up instantly, eyes still closed.

“Vodka?”  he said in a sad tone.

Dempsey just rolled his eyes and slapped the back of Nikolai’s head.

“Vodka!”  the Russian shouted, reaching his hand out, almost crying as he sat up.  He turned around to see Tank standing above him.  “Why you hit me?!”  he asked in his normal voice.

“To wake you up dumbass”  Tank responded.  “Pancakes are in the kitchen.”  he said pointing behind him.

“I guess it is for the better, I had terrible dream!  Vodka kept running away from me!  I couldn't drink!  It was hell!”  He then recalled what the American just said.  “Pancakes?!”

Nikolai then stood and made his way towards the kitchen with his arms outstretched.  Tank just stood there for a few seconds before starting towards where Richtofen was sleeping.

Tank just stood over the German wondering how to go about waking him up.  Many devious things ran through his mind.  But he settled on just dropping a book on his face.

Dempsey smiled and picked a book up off of the shelves.  He then proceeded to line it up with the doctors face, then he dropped it.  It raced down until a hand came and slapped it away.

“Nien!” Richtofen yelled.  “Bad Dempsey! Bad!” He turned over and pulled his blankets over his face.  “Shtay back, before I cut out your spleen!”  He laughed.  “I heard you talk about ze pancakes, zey shmell so WUNDERBAR!”  Richtofen yelled into his pillow, then proceeded to laugh quite hard into it.  He quickly stopped and turned over to face Dempsey, pulling his covers off of his face.

“I vill be out in a few minutes.”  Richtofen chuckled.

Dempsey shook his head and started back to the kitchen.  “Oh, und Dempsey?”

Dempsey sighed  “What?”

“You und zat yellow pony look so CUTE togezah!”  Edward then flailed about under the blankets, laughing uncontrollably.

“Fuck off Richtofen!”  Dempsey then quickly made his way back into the kitchen, which is now full of picture perfect pancakes.

He proceeded to one of the five seats at the table, in between Nikolai and Twilight.  Sitting down, he grabbed a few pancakes and set them on his plate.

“These are good!  They almost make up for me not having any vodka!  Almost...”  Nikolai said taking a bite out of his pancakes.

Takeo sat on the opposite of the table from the Russian, grimacing at him before inspecting his own plate.  After he was content, he picked up a fork and cut a well sized piece and eating it.  He quietly moaned in ecstasy.

Dempsey looked at Takeo with slight confusion embedded in his expression.  “That good, Tak?”

The Asian nodded in confirmation before stuffing another bite in his face, completely forgetting his manners.  Tank looked at Twilight who was smiling at the three of them.

“You not having any?”  Tank asked prepping his own pancakes for consumption.

“Nah, I got up earlier and ate.”  Twilight said.

“Alright.”  He took a bite out of the fluffy breakfast item.  “Holy shit!  This is really good!  Where did you learn to make this?”  he asked surprised.

“Oh, I just found a recipe in one of my cookbooks.”  Twilight answered.

“Well you should use that book more often.”  He said, then continued devouring his breakfast eagerly.

A few minutes had passed when Richtofen stumbled into the kitchen looking at the others.  He proceeded to walk to the opposite side of Dempsey; in between Takeo and Nikolai.  Sitting down, the doctor looked to both of them.

“Dempsey, fetch me some pancakes.”  Richtofen ordered.

“Fuck no!  They’re right in front of your fucking face!”  Dempsey shouted.

The other three looked up to see a calm doctors face, and an angry Dempsey’s face.  Richtofen then began laughing.  Dempsey looked at him, confused.

“I just adore how I can push your buttons like zat, Dempsey!”  He laughed, then quickly returned to his original calm state.

The doctor picked a few pancakes off of the center platter, placing them on his plate.

As they were all eating, Twilight looked to Dempsey.

"So, enlighten me on how exactly you got here."  she said.

Dempsey pointed to Richtofen.  "Ask him, he knows all about the teleporter.   Don't ask me how, that thing is complex as fuck."

Twilight looked at the German expectantly.

Richtofen swallowed then cleared his throat.  “Vell, our Russian friend here dropped his vodka onto ze MDT receiver pad, so my guess is zat ven ze teleporter mainframe had novhere to send us it stored us in ze cache.  But, I sink since ze receiver vasn’t able to get power, ze mainframe overloaded vis ze power zat was supposed to be used by ze receiver, effectively sending us to a different dimension.”  He said, still pondering.  “Who knew ze MDT vas capable of interdimensional travel?  Anyvay, visout ze receiver pad, ve aren’t going anyvhere.”  Richtofen finished.

“Well, since you don’t seem to be able to return, I guess you’re stuck here.”  Twilight said matter of factly.

“Fine with me, as long as I get vodka!”  Shouted Nikolai as he finished off his last bite.

“I’d rather be in ‘pretty pink horse land’ than one filled with zombies.”  Dempsey said with a shrug.

Takeo nodded in contentment.

“Alright, well if you’re going to stay in Ponyville you should think about getting some form of work.  Maybe some of my friends could use your help.”  Twilight said

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“I’ll be right back.”  she said, getting up and trotting away.

Some chatter was heard from the main room, then Twilight looked into the kitchen.

“When you guy’s finish your breakfast, come out into the other room.  My friends want to talk to you.”  she said retracting her head from the doorway and trotting off.

After the four finished up and put their dishes by the sink, they walked out to meet the ponies.  There was Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, a white unicorn with a purple mane, and a orange pony with a light yellow mane.  Nikolai was greeted by yet another tackle from a smiling Pinkie.  They landed on the ground and Nikolai groaned grasping his head.

“Ah, fuck!  My head!”  he said as he looked up at the hyper pony.  “Vodka,  or get the fuck off.”

She just giggled then pulled another bottle of vodka from her mane, handing it to him.  Nikolai drank a gulp then sighed contently with Pinkie still standing on top of him.  She then took his relaxation as a sign that she didn't have to get off and layed on top of him facing the group.  Nikolai just layed there and after a few seconds, he was snoring.

Dempsey just rolled his eyes and looked at the other four ponies before him.  “So, what did your friends want to talk to us about?”

“Pinkie told them about you, so they came to see what a ‘human’ was. Plus I talked to them about your current situation, and Pinkie has an opening at the bakery, Applejack could use some help at the apple orchard, and I need an extra helping hand here.”  Twilight said with a smile.

“I vould love to help here!  It vill give me a chance to learn more about zis vorld!”  Richtofen said with great enthusiasm.

Nikolai snorted awake.  “Huh?”  He then looked around and up at Pinkie.  “What are we talking about?”

“You working at Sugarcube Corner silly!”  Pinkie said cheerfully.

Nikolai lied his head back groaning then quickly looked up.  “Will there be vodka?”

Pinkie just smiled wider… somehow.  “Why wouldn't there be?”  she giggled.

He smiled back.  “Well, I’m in!”

Applejack spoke up.  “The apple farm is nice, quiet, an’ peaceful if that makes a difference.”

Takeo stepped forward.  “Anywhere quiet, and away from that Russian.”  he said giving Nikolai a dirty look.

Applejack smiled.  “Great!”

Twilight looked at Dempsey and frowned.  “Oh, I guess you could help me and Richtofen here.”  she said shrugging.

The Marine looked at her wide eyed and shook his head.  “Oh hell no!”  He then realized Fluttershy was here.  “Oh, sorry Fluttershy.”

“It’s okay.”  Fluttershy said, then softly cleared her throat.  “Um, Tank?  You could help me take care of my animals.  That is, if you want to.”

“Anything but Richtofen.” he said walking over to the pegasus.

Richtofen eyed him and the pegasus, looking back and forth, smiling devilishly.

Dempsey just gave the doctor a ‘go fuck yourself’ look.

The group chatted for a good hour before they decided it was time to return to their respective homes.

“Bye Twilight, see ya tomorrow!”  Applejack shouted as she was leaving the library, Takeo in tow.

“Come on Nikolai!  There’s more vodka at Sugarcube Corner!”  Pinkie said bouncing out the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!  Sheesh…  Like mother...”  Nikolai said walking out the door behind Pinkie.

“Bye Darlings!”  Rarity said as the also departed.

“Alright Tank, if we hurry, I can show you how to feed and properly play with the birds!”  Fluttershy said smiling.  “Bye Twilight!  Bye Richtofen!”

Tank followed her out the door.

A few moments of silence pass.

“Wanna read?”  Twilight asked.

“Ja.”  Richtofen said.

Chapter 3

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Chapter 4

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