Applejack Eats Apple Jacks

by shabbycat

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 1189

What happens when Applejack eats her cereal counterpart? Bad things. Terrible things.

Applejack is introduced to an interesting new cereal: Apple Jacks. When she eats them, however, she may not be prepared to face the repercussions. The world is to be batshit bananas.

Published 2014-04-19 13:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-19 13:50:01 UTC

Telepromptation

Applejack lay in the barn, exhausted from another day spent hauling apples, bucking apples, and generally eating apple themed foods. She lifted her hat and let the fading light of the evening sun grace her tired eyes.

She bathed in the warmth for a moment, before tilting her hat to it's original position, shielding herself from the glow. The fresh, yet faint, scent of apples lingered in the musky air.

“Today was a tough one...” Applejack said to the emptiness of the barn, letting the distant sounds of the orchard outside lull her to sleep. “...had enough apples for a lifetime...”

“APPLEJACK!” The shrill sound shook the barn, ripping Applejack from the brink of slumber. “LOOKEE HERE SIS'!” Applebloom's unmistakable voice once again sent shrieking tremors through her eardrums.

“Could you announce yer presence without near bringin' the whole barn down... again?” Applejack rubbed her eyes, still dazed by Applebloom's grand entrance. The small filly ran through the barn, an excited skip in each step.

“Look, sis'!” Applebloom held up a cardboard box - A cereal box. On the cover, the title boldly proclaimed 'APPLE JACKS!'. “It's your name! YOUR NAME!” The filly squealed, amazed at her find.

Applejack's gave her sister a frumious look, but was honestly flattered by this odd little discovery. Nevertheless, she was still a little bewildered. She took the box in her hooves, examining it with scrupulating eyes.

“Is this somethin' your Cutie Mark Crusader friends have thought up or somethin'?” Applejack asked, skeptically.

“No, Sis'! It's real! Me and Scootaloo just happened to be perusing the 'Magically Good Breakfast' at the FoalMart, and came across this here beauty!” Applebloom gestured with her hoof, eagerly. “Why don't you try it? It's delicious and nutritious!” Another gesture, this one to the bright sticker plastered across the box, boasting “DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS!” it was.

Applejack nodded, her skepticism subsided slightly, and she handed the cereal back to her sister.

“...Okay, Applebloom. You go get me a bowl and some milk, and we'll eat some together, hm?” She proposed. Applebloom jumped up and made what could only be described as a 'squee'.

As the energetic filly gleefully skipped out of the barn, Applejack turned to where she lay before.

“I ain't never done with apples, am I?” She gave a slight chuckle, and began towards the house.

Applejack sat at the kitchen counter, staring at the bowl of colorful loops. She didn't know what to expect. How would it taste? Whimsical thoughts of little versions of herself swimming the sea of milk began dancing across her mind, and she couldn't help but poorly stifle a laugh.

“What's that sis'?” Applebloom asked, while passing her a spoon.

“Oh, nothin' sugarcube.” Applejack took the spoon and sloppily scooped up a spoonful of orange and green wheat loops. “Right, let's see what all this fuss is about!” In her usually uncouth manner, Applejack hastily scoffed her cereal counterpart down in one motion.

She took a moment to taste them, and to her surprise, they weren't half bad. Not the greatest delicacy, she was sure of, but this was definitely something she could see herself eating on a rushed morning.

Applejack closed her eyes tightly, giving her sister an enthusiastic smile...

...Then she opened her eyes, just in time to watch her little sister be sucked away into the endless white abyss. A wave of horror and confusion hit her just as the hellish scene before her did. Applejack was no longer eating cereal; She was no longer in the house – in Equestria, for all she could tell. Her world, in the blink of an eye, was whisked into an impossible space of nothing.

The poor mare was given no time to contemplate, to panic, or to even understand what had happening. She began choking, not from shock, but a lack of oxygen altogether. She was suffocating, every shriek resulting in inaudible burbles.

She saw the stream of bubbles before her, and knew the only way she was to escape this nightmare was to swim! She began flailing frantically, tearing at the viscous white around her. The pressure was crushing, making every movement feel like a fight against an oncoming train... and yet she still fought.

Images of Applebloom, Granny Smith, and all of her best friends flashed across her vision, fueling her burning will, and her need to survive. For what felt like hours, she swam through the vast mass of liquid, fighting for every last breath. With each violent swing of her hoof, she felt the release of air move closer and closer.

Her vision was quickly dimming, and she knew her end would be meeting her soon if she didn't use every last drop of her power to fight to the surface. Her vision was almost black, and she was at the brink of consciousness as she broke into the light... Her hoof shattered through the gentle waves of the ocean, and she dragged herself up, into the fresh air.

Coughs, splutters and seemingly endless amounts of fluid forcefully escaped her shaking muzzle as she surfaced. For minutes, she floated there, drifting in the sea as she tried to gain any sort of bearings.

When she had finally come to some sort of safe level of calm, Applejack looked around, and recognized a particularly familiar scent. It was the same scent she experienced just before she was teleported to this horrible place – Milk! To her relief and delight, a body of land not too far away caught her eye, a lifebuoy for her situation.

“Okay... someone's going to explain to me what the HAY is goin' on!” She shouted to herself, if only to calm herself down.

As Applejack neared the island, she noticed something odd about it. The land that she once thought was a mass of soil and organic life, was actually made up of some sort of orange substance. She clambered up, latching onto the knots and nooks of the strange cliff side, and finally reached a safe plain. The ground gave slightly as Applejack collapsed onto her back. It was unusually uncomfortable – very crumbly and jagged.

She took a deep breath of air, fearing when it would be taken from her again. It was then she saw it... her. She had been so focused on not drowning, that she hadn't even realized what was looming over her head the entire time. Her body went rigid, frozen in a flood of shock; she was paralyzed with fear.

It was looking down, staring intently at her...

Orange... huge, green eyes... worn brown hat... It was Applejack.

Author's Note

It seems I took some tips from MGR: Revengance when it came to the chapter name... and the diary of Charles Manson for everything else. I came to the conclusion that I can only write in a completely straight up way. I can't make anything that sounds non serious. So, fuck it, I'll just write a batshit bananas crazy fanfic as if it were a Steven King novel. Please, tell me what you think!

As always, criticism and advice is encouraged.