The fanfiction you are about to read is a work of total fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the creators' imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locals is entirely coincidental. This story does not reflect the views or opinions of any actual person or pony seen in it.
...Anyway, it's either just CLAY or CARTOONS!
We now see a ring in the middle of the arena, rebuilt yet again, as a familiar man spoke up. We see pictures of the fighters as he does.
"Can a little baby Dragon cut this teenager down to size?"
"What happens when the Goddess of the Night confronted her worst nightmare?"
The last two fighters in the final pictures are covered in shadows.
"And a very mystery fight, we can't tell you who's fighting yet!"
"Fight fans, it took a while but we're back for fun, fighting and gore on..."
The show's title appears onscreen.
CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH!
We got to a familiar host who was speaking in the booth with his pal, the former spoke, "Hey folks! Welcome to another edition of Celebrity Deathmatch, broadcasting in the fantasy world of Equestria. I'm Johnny Gomez here with my best pal but often pain in my ass, Nick Diamond."
Nick comment, "I hope that, this time, we can get through the episode without any major damage to the arena. It took nearly a year to repair the arena after the last episode. Darn Megatron."
"And rejoining us is our good friend Pinkie Pie!"
An explosion occurs as Pinkie appears, throwing confetti while giggling. She exclaims, "Hey guys! Merry Hearth's Warming Eve or Christmas! Oh boy! I can't wait for this show to begin! This is going to be sooooooooooo much fun and you know how much I adore fuuuuuuuuuuuuun!"
"Glad you're happy, Pinkie, but we're going to have a both of losers who aren't be once they're dead like the movie career of Britney Spears." Nick remarks to the camera with a chuckle.
"Weird. Britney Spears doesn't have a movie career ."
"Not anymore!" Johnny jokes making the trio laugh.
We now see the match-ups with the hosts introducing them. This time, the Mane Event is introduced.
Main/Mane Event
We see the Mane Event's fighters as Nick's voice comments, "In our Mane Event, it's the battle that takes place at night! The Goddess of the Night Princess Luna will go hoof to hoof with her former darkness evil self, Nightmare Moon in a battle to overcome her past."
Fight 2
We see the second fight's fighters covered in shadows in the pictures. Nick's voice comments, "In our second fight...we don't know who is fighting yet!"
Johnny's voice remarks, "All we will tell you for now is that this fight will be simple as...pie!"
Back in the booth, Pinkie's eyes widen excitedly as she exclaims, "Ooh, oooh! Who is fighting, who is fighting?! Is it Dragon Kick?! Brave Heart?! Oooooh! Is Princess Celestia fighting again?!"
"Oh trust us, Pinkie...you will be the first to know." Johnny teases Pinkie as he and Nick give knowing winks to each other. They know who is one of the fighters is but will keep this a secret for now.
Pinkie looks anxious. Now she really wants to know whose fighting. We go back to the overhead as the first fighters' pictures are shown.
Fight 1
Johnny's voice explains, "Before we get to that surprise, folks, we should be getting ready for the first fight. Spike returns to the ring, this time fighting off another Dragon who fought in the ring, Garble the Dragon."
Nick's voice remarks, “Its Dragon mayhem and we got it all for you folks right here, right now!"
Back in the booth, Pinkie pleads while bouncing, "Cooooome on, just a little hint, please? Who is fighting in the next fight, huh, huh? I'm dying here!"
"Oh, don't die on us yet, Pinkie. We need you to guest-commentate."
"Right, trust us, Pinkie, you will like whom we got." Johnny assures Pinkie who sits down, looking excited. The first fight should be worth the waiting.
"Right, time for the first fight of the night; both fighters in this one had fought in the ring before." Nick said with a nod while introducing Spike and Garble, or re-introducing in this case. "Let's watch them at their best and worst.”
Video Clips
Spike vs. Prince Blueblood
"That's it; I'm beating you with this little trick!" Spike roared off in having enough of this, time he end the match. "KA-ME..." Spike position his claws together by his right waist line.
"Uh-oh," Nick yelped in looking at this with some worry.
"Is that thing what I think it is?" Johnny responded in feeling this was a big scene.
"HA-ME..." As the baby dragon spoke these words, a concentrated energy sphere was forming between his claws.
"The Kamehameha Wave, that's a super-move Spike used against his brother Lorcan, boy was it a surprise for the ages!" Pinkie Pie spoke off with a smile in knowing that move all too well.
"HAAAAAA..." Spike roared off the final vers. of his attack as it was ready. "Prsuvhmmm..." Soon the attack was thrust forward, going down to tackle the dragon's foe.
"Waaaughh..." Blueblood cried forth as he used all his magic to cast a strong shield. "Bamgruvhmm..." But still, the shield proves to only take so much force...as it was breaking apart. "Haaugh...Waaugh..." Blueblood was heard yelping with a shock expression and then to add more surprise...parts of his back dexterity was...breaking apart from the forceful attack. "Qrsuvhmm..." Soon the shield was overpowered and force through, inflicting a great surmount of damage to the target . "I'LL BE BAAAAACK...IT'S NOT..." Blueblood was trying to speak while his face was looking a bit 'woobly' and his voice was deepening with a weird expression of his loose gap mouth. "Gruvhmfruvhpm..." Then in another shocking display, Blueblood's body yelped off in a slow motion as many seen the body was breaking apart bit by bit while he gave out his last words, "Oooooooverrrr…yeeett-haaaaugh..." As his voice echo off in the distance, the body was scattering further and further until particularly, that Blueblood...was no more.
"Okay! I don't need to be a doo-doo-brain not to see from a death as fine as that stunt, that the winner is Spike!" Mills Lane spoke off from the bright and flashy display to yell out in raising a hand, in pronouncing, that Spike is the winner.Garble and his Goons vs. the Diamond Dogs vs. the Changelings"Apparently, the Dragons agree with you, Pinkie." Nick said as the dragons combine their strength to pry the dome open and escape themselves. "They are chasing their opponents."
"Where are they?!" No Eyes snaps as he looks all over the crowd for the Changelings. "I don't see those Parasprites anywhere!"
"They must've shape shifted into the audience members!" Garble exclaims furiously. "I am not waiting for them! Start beating up and torching; they bound to come out sooner or later!"
"Like so?" Gronk ask as he grabs a pony and beats him up before sending the pony flying.
"Like that!" Garble remarks.
"These Dragons are crazy! They are beating up and torching the audience!" Nick exclaims as the Dragons did just that. "They are hoping that some of them are the Changelings."
"Yeah, those are three stubborn dragons." Johnny admits. "Now they're attacking..."
"I know it's you stupid Changelings! Come out!" Garble snaps as he hits Celestia while torching Luna. Unfortunately, that ends up angering them. "Now come..."
"THOU MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!" Luna booms furiously in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she stomps onto Garble. Gronk and No Eyes yelps in worry. Those are the real Royal Sisters. "AND NOW THOU AND THY ALLIES WILL PAY!!!"
"I agree. You boys have insulted us for too long." Celestia said sternly as she flew up and fires a blast at Gronk and No Eyes, burning them big time.
End Video Clips
"Dang, Garble took a major beating from the Royal Sisters." Johnny remarks with a chuckle. "He survived and is here to fight again."
"This grudge match has been happening since the Dragon Migration, Johnny. The villain tried to kill a baby phoenix egg and who knows what kind of trouble that bastard has done?" Nick comments in amusement. "Garble is angry at Spike for not doing what he wants and for making fools out of him."
"Who indeed ; Spike is here for a second win, Garble's here to try to win. Let's go down to the ring where the first fight begins."
The crowd cheers as Spike got into the ring. Johnny's voice is heard, "All right, here is your first fight, folks! In the purple and green corner, here is the master of disaster, the Dragon who shows that you don't have to be big to deal some ass-whooping...SPIKE THE DRAGON!"
The crowd cheers as Spike exclaims, "Yeah! I'm back, folks! Rarity, love ya honey!"
The audience boos as Garble comes in. Johnny's voice introduces, "And returning to the reason, the red terror and bully of baby phoenixes...GARBLE THE DRAGON!!!"
Garble comment, "Even with Sparkle's shrinking spell reducing me to just slightly bigger than an adult pony, I'm still bigger than you and higher on the food chain. Get in my belly NOW and save yourself A LOT of pain and humiliation."
Spike remarked in disgust, "Honestly, really?"
Both fighters go up to Mills who begins the instructions. He comments, "I want a good, tough fight. That means NO running away from each other like little sissy chicken babies."
Spike put in, "Look, I don't mind being called a little sissy baby, but as for the chicken part, I learned the hard way that chickens, by nature, are not at all cowardly OR weak. That's something Scootaloo and Granny Smith need to keep in mind the next time one of them gets annoyed by being called a chicken. Because chickens are actually a lot braver and tougher than their reputations make them out to be, Scootaloo and Granny Smith should take being called 'chicken' as a compliment. That would REALLY freak out the jerks that try to call them that."
"Wait until I fry you like a chicken, asshole!" Garble exclaims evilly to Spike.
"Let's get it on!" Mills exclaims. As the referee moves out of the way, the bell rings, starting the first fight of the night.
Pinkamena and her gang Golden Heart, Gold Wing and Jack Zen watch the fight on a screen in a room. Pinkamena says, "This will be some fight no pony will forget."
Golden Heart agrees as he comments, "Indeed , but for now, the first fight is about to start."
Omega adds, "Indeed but the 2nd fight is unknown but my reading say that it will be shocking and surprising."
The other nods as they resume watching the fight.
Johnny's voice comments, "Garble is slashing at Spike but the little guy is too fast for him."
"Size doesn't matter when you have heart, Johnny." Nick's voice adds.
"Hold still, you midget lizard," Garble shouted as he kept slashing at Spike.
"Nah, nah; your mother is a lizard, your father is a hamster!" Spike taunts.
"Yeah, Spike is really excited, but he better watch where he's going or..." Pinkie's voice commented. Too late, Spike didn't look in time as he hits a turn buckle, knocking him to the mat, "Too late."
Garble grabs Spike, holding him while snapping, "I will be using you for a lizard on a stick, bitch!"
Johnny's voice comments, "And Garble has grabbed his opponent and...where did he get that duffle bag?" The announcer asked this while Garble stuffs Spike in a duffle bag.
"Who knows, Johnny? It's like asking Pinkie how she keeps stuff in her mane." Nick's voice remarked in a 'who knows' kinda voice." And now he is smashing him around like an abusive mother hurting her child...and more brutal even!"
"This time, you're toast!" Garble shouted evilly as he kept smashing Spike.
Suddenly, Spike's fist broke through the bag as it hit Garble in the face, making him let go. The baby Dragon tore through the bag, snapping, "Okay, let's go, ugly."
"Spike got out of that one!" Johnny's voice exclaims as Spike made a colorful aura surrounds him. "And Spike is using Dragon Force."
"And there's the Dragon Rage!" Pinkie's voice exclaims as Spike fires an energy blast from his mouth, knocking Garble back.
Garble snarls as he fires a blast of his own but Spike kept countering it. The villain yells, "Damn it! Come on!"
"Garble hasn't been this upset since...wait, I don't know when he was upset last." Nick's voice said, getting puzzled by the last part.
Spike fires a blast, sending Garble out of the ring. Johnny's voice comments, "Well, all that training and time in the End of Equestria has paid off!"
Spike waves to the ground but was hit by a spiked metal ball. He turns to see Garble throwing more at his opponent.
"Damn, Garble somehow snuck a bunch a spiked metal balls into this arena!" Nick's voice exclaims in alarm by this turn of event.
"Don't think I'm intimidated by your incredible power , you little baby!" Garble shouted, "I've been doing some training myself, thanks to the Dark Mystic Ponies, and now I will destroy you!"
"Why bother? They wouldn't use a loser like..." Spike screams as Garble hits him with a spiked metal metall. The villain, running out of projectiles, slides in and hit the little guy down.
Garble taunt, "Once I'm done with you, pee-wee, maybe I could work up a Number Six on Ponyville. You know, where I go flying into town, clawing and torching all the buildings, whomping on all the stallions and kidnapping all the mares so I can rape the living daylights out of them at my leisure, especially that white unicorn with the purple hair. What a hottie!"
"What, what, WHAT," Spike roars, smoke came out of his nostrils as he flashes a bit. "Okay, YOU WENT TOO FAR!!!"
"I think we're about to see a transformation that hasn't been seen since 'Nyx's Family'." Pinkie is heard exclaiming excitedly.
"I love stepping too far, especially since I will be having a feast of crystals, and the Crystal Empire is a gourmet for me with the Crystal Ponies as the appetizers!" Garble said with a sick, evil grin on his face.
"Oh, he did NOT just say that!" Nick shouted in shock and outrage.
"Now you're making me REALLY ANGRY!!!!" Spike shouted as his voice deepens rapidly, until it got really deep as he yelled 'REALLY ANGRY'.
Suddenly, a blinding flash appears as everyone covers their eyes. When it's clear, Spike is now in his huge form from Nyx's Family. Johnny exclaims, "Whoa, he's huge!"
"I hope he doesn't go Loch Ness Monster on us!" Nick remarks in concern.
"Relax, Spike has intelligence in this form." Pinkie assures Nick.
"Nice, but you ain't the only one who can transform!" Garble taunts as his eyes went dark. Soon another flash as the villain Dragon transforms into his three-headed form from 'Nyx's Family'.
The folks run to avoid the Dragons that are now too big for the ring to handle. Johnny remarks, "Not to be outdone, Garble went into his 'Nyx's Family's big form. This has turned into a big brawl."
"Let's hope it doesn't go out into the streets like with Blink 182 vs. 98 Degrees." Nick said with a nod. "We almost got blown up by nukes back then."
"Either way, this is SO EXCITING!!" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly.
Both Dragons roar and tackle each other. The crowds move to dodge being stampeded or killed by these Dragons.
"Incredible. This is turning into Godzilla vs. that monster with the lot of heads here!" Nick exclaims. Garble grabs a catwalk and hit Spike with it. "And Garble is using the catwalk."
"Not to be outdone, Spike grabs a chain." Johnny adds as Spike grabs a spike and hits Garble with it. The two Dragons grab stuff from the arena. "And these two nut cases are using whatever they could get their claws on!"
"You will be a dead shrimp when I'm done with you!" Garble snarls as his other two heads roars in fury.
"Garble is backing up..." Pinkie said as Garble suddenly trips over the gate, landing in the ring. "And he hits the mat."
"Spike has had enough. He rips the gate out!" Johnny exclaims as Spike rips the gate out. "What the hell is he up to?!"
Spike rips the top bar of the gate out, revealing the spikes. Then he stabs his opponent right through, making Garble roars in pain.
"Garble is pinned! But how long will this hold?" Nick ask, pondering how long will Garble stay pinned like that.
"Wanna see what happens when metal meets electricity ?!" Spike demands as he rips out some exposed electric cords from the ceiling that was damaged during the fight. "Well, let's watch and see!"
"Johnny, does this looks familiar to you?"
"As in Backstreet Boys vs. N'Sync; Yes; and that means..." Johnny said, suspecting what is about to occur her.
Spike quickly connect the cords to the gate...and electrocutes Garble. The villain screams various times as Spike kept on doing it...until Garble blows up, sending his remains all over the arena. The bell rings as what's left of the bad Dragon is here, there, everywhere.
"Ooooh, anyone got a doggy bag?" Pinkie asks with a happy giggle.
Mills came over and hold Spike's claw, announcing, "Spike is the winner!" The crowd cheers as the big Dragon roars in triumph.
Back in the booth, Johnny spoke, "Garble has met his demise and Spike has won his second fight in the row. And I just hope the arena isn't too damaged before our show continues."
"Not since Loch Ness vs. Bigfoot had we seen a rampage, Johnny." Nick remarks, shaking his head in amusement.
"Roooooooooar," Pinkie exclaims as she appears in a bad Dragon outfit. "I am Pinkzilla! Give me your cake or I will stomp you; Roooooooooooooar!"
"Okay, almost."
Johnny spoke to the camera, "Fight fans; stick around because once we come back..."
"Hey, wait, hang on!" Pinkie exclaims in realization as she took off the Dragon outfit. "You boys promised to tell me who the fighters are in the next fight after the first one is done! You promised, I betcha you even Pinkie Promise!" The pink pony bounces up and down. "Come on, come on, tell me, please, please please?!"
"Ha ha ha. Okay, Pinkie. We kept you waiting long enough. Pinkie Pie, one of the fighters in the next fight is...YOU!"
"REALLY," Pinkie gasps and laughs as she rockets all over the place. The audience cheers as she stops in mid-air. "YES! I get to fight, I get to fight!" The mare lands back in the booth. "So who am I fighting?"
"Well, Pinkie, here's the fun part: you get to choose just like Mankind did for his fight!" Johnny explains to Pinkie with a grin.
"Yeah, it could be anypony, living or dead, pony, Dragon, Griffin or whatever. Nothing is the limit!" Nick adds to Pinkie with a nod.
"Wowie; I get to pick anypony??? Wow, what a toughie decision to make." Pinkie remarks in amazement. Now then, who will our favorite pink pony fight?
"Well, you got until after commercial break to decide, Pinkie, starting...now!" Johnny exclaims as he begins the countdown to after commercial break.
We see the overhead of the crowd and the show's title before we go to commercial.
The overhead and the title appear as the show comes back. Returning to the booth, Johnny speaks to the audience, "Okay, folks. For those just tuning in, we revealed that one of the fighters in the second fight is Pinkie herself."
"And we gave her time that our pink pal needed to decide which opponent that she will be fighting." Nick said with a grin.
Back with Pinkamena's group, the AU version spoke up, "Well that as a huge monster of a fight."
"Indeed and now we find out who Pinkie will fight." Golden Heart comments as the others nod, all wanting to see who Pinkie will choose.
Back in the show, Johnny calls out to Pinkie who is on the floor below, "So Pinkie! Who do you choose?"
Pinkie bounces near a familiar time machine, explaining happily, "Well, to be honest, there are a lot of friends and meanies I want to fight and maybe take down. There's Dashie, that meanie Gilda the Griffin, Shining Armor, even Discord and one of the Demon Lords. Buuuuuuut...there is one pony that I ever want to meet and take on!"
Pinkie activates the time machine. As it is activated, the pink pony continues, "In fact, my career is based on hers so it will be a fun honor to kick her assy flank! Fillies and gentlecolts; please welcome from all the way from Ponyland, my ancestor Surprise!"
Once the time machine is done, the door opens as a yellow white Pegasus pony with a yellow mane and 3 balloons cutie mark appearing. She giggles, "Hey everypony!"
Pinkamena and the others are surprised. The AU version exclaims, "HOLY Celestia! Pinkie is going to fight Surprise that looks like Pinkie but is a white color and has wings."
Golden Heart remarks, "Well I did not see that coming."
"Even I did not see it coming as well." Omega said in agreement.
"Who knows who will win? We will have to wait and see." Pinkamena said as the others nod once more.
"And hope the place does not fall apart" Jack Zen said in concern, knowing how the place tends to fall apart in these kind of fights.
"You and me can cast a shield to keep us safe." Golden Heart suggests to Jack Zen thoughtfully.
"Indeed ."
"Yep and this fight will be tense." Pinkamena comments as the others nod for the third time.
Back in the arena as the fight is prepared, Johnny exclaims, "What a great choice as well as excellent use of the Celebrity Deathmatch Time Machine."
Nick asks, "How can Pinkie Pie fight her own ancestor without running the risk of erasing her own existence?"
Johnny answer, "We programmed the Celebrity Death Match Time Machine to pull Surprise in from a point in time AFTER she has ALREADY given birth to ALL of her foals." We see a photo of Surprise as information appears next to her. "Surprise has an interesting career back in Ponyland. She throw surprise parties for her friends and has done more pranks than the hosts of Jackass. The mare is a Pegasus which makes her hard to catch. Surprise is also unpredictable so a fighter must be the same thing to catch her off guard."
Pinkie's pic appears along with information that Johnny explains, "And that somepony is Pinkie. Besides throwing parties and pulling pranks, the pink Earth pony is unpredictable, will always know if someone breaks a Pinkie Promise, is the holder of the Element of Laughter and that cannon of hers isn't for show."
"And she can be insane when provoked so Surprise may be in quite a battle on her hooves." Nick said seriously to the camera.
"Of course, it's obvious that both ponies are here for some fun. Let's go down to the ring."
In the ring, Pinkie and Surprise looks excited, apparently having short attention span. Mills explains, "All right, you two, try to pay a damn attention to what I'm saying! I want a good clean fight. Parties are fine but no one uses me as a piñata! Other than that, let's get it on!"
Mills move out of the way as the bell rings, starting the second fight of the night.
"Hi there; my name is Pinkie Pie." Pinkie said happily as she hopped up to Surprise.
"Hey, Pinkie, I'm Surprise." Surprise giggles a bit.
"Sorry, I gotta fight but no worries. I Pinkie Promise not to kill you if I win." Pinkie said, doing the Pinkie Promise.
"And I won't kill you since you are practically my equal. Despite being an earth pony, of course," Surprise said.
"Hey ladies; this is a fight to death." Mills points out to the two ponies, but yelped as they suddenly growl viciously at him. "Or finish! No one said that the fight has to end in killing!"
"Now that that's settled, here's a surprise for you." Surprise said to Pinkie.
"Ooh! I love surprises! What is it?" Pinkie asked eagerly.
"This." Surprise replied, and after that... WHAM!! She punched Pinkie, sending her flying to the turnbuckle.
"Ooooh, Surprise got the big hit of the night." Johnny comments in amazement.
"Yeah, but despite that, Pinkie doesn't seem faze." Nick said as Pinkie recovers, smiling. "It's like she's used to that."
"Okie dokie lokie! Time to get serious...Pinkie Pie Style," Pinkie exclaims as she took out a small hole.
"What's that? This is no time for a wormhole!" Nick complains as Pinkie throws a hoof through it.
Another hole appears near Surprise, making yelp as Pinkie's fist came out, hitting her.
"Yes! Pinkie got her with a plot hole!" Johnny exclaims in amazement. "And Surprise has hit the mat."
"It's a good thing Pinkie did a Pinkie Promise to not kill." Nick commented, "Otherwise, she'd go killer crazy with a big twisted grin like that god-awful fanmade flash, Smile HD!"
"Heeeeey, nice idea." Pinkie exclaims as she made a familiar face, making Surprise yelp.
"Yikes!" Surprise exclaims in alarm as she flew upward.
"Whoa, whoa; that's even creepier than in real life!" Nick exclaims in alarm and horror.
"Pinkie; put that Smile HD face away before somebody gets hurt!" Mills demands to Pinkie in annoyance.
"All right," Pinkie said as she turns back to her normal face, "It was too creepy even for me anyway. I mean, you had NO IDEA how traumatized I was! I was confided into my room for a week!"
"Aww, Pinkie, I'm really sorry to hear tha--" Surprise said in sympathy as she put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder, when suddenly, as she yelp, she was grabbed and tossed to the floor by Pinkie. As she recovered, she exclaimed in shock, "Whoa! You really surprised me there!"
"Sorry, you startled me!" Pinkie exclaims with a shrug as Surprise flew back to the sky. "I will let you get the next shot though."
"Surprise is taking Pinkie up on her offer and is throwing stuff from out of nowhere!" Johnny exclaims as Surprise starts throwing stuff from who knows where.
"Where the hell is she keeping those items?" Nick asks as Pinkie bounces around to avoid getting hit by the tossed items.
Pinkie and Surprise exclaims to Nick at the same time, "That's none of your damn business, Nicky!"
"Hey, Surprise!" Pinkie said with a smirk, "Take a look at my PARTY CANNON!" As she said that, she brings out her trusty Party Cannon, aiming it at Surprise.
"Yikes! Pinkie is calling a all-party assault!" Johnny exclaims as Pinkie fires stuff from her cannon, making Surprise yelp as she flew around.
"Wowie! I wish I can have one back in Ponyland!" Surprise exclaims. She yelps as some confetti knocks her down. "Hey!"
"'Hay' is for horses!" Nick jokes a bit making Johnny groans at the bad joke.
During the moment, Pinkie Pie was letting her party cannon rip a new one.
"Looks like Pinkie's having herself a party. It looks like..." Nick was speaking off in seeing the battle when...
"DUCK," Johnny yelled out with a panic expression.
"Duck; I thought it was mostly streamers, confetti, or..." Nick was about to ask the strange comment when....
"Noooo; DUCK," Johnny cut his friend off to pull him down under their seat.
"Frrosuvhmm....BOOOMM!" A sudden cannonball came by and blows up a portion of the wall. Then the host peaked out to see they were almost blown to bits there.
"Oh come on! Hey Pinkie, we just had the place rebuild! Don't go tearing it down before the last fight!" Nick shouted below in scolding the pink pony about watching where she aims.
"Sorry, can't talk, having a party blasting my opponent!" Pinkie Pie responded before she was just firing her cannon without a second delay, and her miss shots will cause casualties.
"Well you weren't expecting her to just stop herself easily, eh Nick? And folks in the audience, better stay down, this party maybe too much to handle." Johnny was empathizing to state while giving a word of caution to the crowd.
"Watch it!" Apple Bloom shouted as she, Sweetie and Scootaloo ducked from their seats in the audience, narrowly avoiding one of Pinkie's cannonballs.
"Sorry!" Pinkie giggles as she turns the dial...and shoots out Kool-Aid right at Surprise. "OH YEAH!!!!"
"What in the heck is-?" Surprise started, but she narrowly dodged the Kool-Aid at first before she could finish.
"Kool-Aid, a real man's drink next to beer," Nick said in amusement as Surprise shakes the Kool-Aid drink out of her fur.
"Surprise has the disadvantage. She needs a plan." Johnny comments. Suddenly Surprise took out...a big cannon, "My god! Looks like Surprise got a cannon of her own!"
"Taste cupcakes!" Surprise exclaims as she fires cupcakes at Pinkie...who eats them.
"Yum yum; I enjoy some cupcakes!" Pinkie exclaims as she ate some more. "Love them!"
"Good, then you won't like this!" Surprise remarks with a mischievous smile as she took out a magnet. Suddenly Pinkie finds herself being pulled right at Surprise, hitting the mat.
"Johnny, what's going on?" Nick asks Johnny, bewildered by this turn of events.
"Looks like there is iron in those cupcakes," Johnny comments with a laugh.
"Yes indeedily, Johnny!" Surprise said, "Cupcakes with iron in them, easily attracted to a magnet."
"Boy, Surprise, you surprised me!" Pinkie commented in amazement, "No pun intended."
"Now Surprise is flying over, smacking Pinkie a few times." Johnny is heard as Surprise flies over, hitting Pinkie a few times, even with a bat. "Even with a bat."
"It will take a miracle for Pinkie to escape this one." Nick comments.
"Admit it, admit it! I'm hurting you!" Surprise laughs as she body slams Pinkie a few times. "This will go two ways: the Surprise way or the hard way."
"How about this," Pinkie exclaims as she...jumps out of her fur.
"OH MY GOD," Johnny exclaims in alarm as Pinkie manages to jump off screen. "Pinkie has jump out of her own fur! The camera better not show that."
"Hey, can I have my coat back please?" Pinkie is heard offscreen to Surprise.
"Oh! Okay." Surprise said as she gives Pinkie her fur.
"Time out so Pinkie can get her coat and her dignity back." Nick comments. "Pinkie hasn't been this embarrassed since 'Pinkie Ruiner'. “
Pinkie put her fur coat back on himself before bouncing back in, speaking, "Okie dokie lokie; Ready to fight again!"
"The fight is back on and both are trying to tackle one another...or is it dancing?" Nick ask puzzled by the fighting happening in the ring which, while Pinkie and Surprise are dancing, appears to be the two dancing.
"I just don't know anymore." Johnny comments as Pinkie was knock back to the ropes. "Surprise is firing once more."
Surprise fires more ammo at Pinkie who dodges them...using a tennis racket to knock an attack away while hitting an audience member.
"If I'm gonna take you down, I'm taking you down....PARTY STYLE!" Pinkie Pie responded forth to say in having another trick up her sleeve.
Then the pink pony throws a strange sphere in the air that spins in mid-air like...a disco ball?
"I don't believe what I am seeing here right before us, folks," Johnny spoken forth in seeing the most undeniable action ever seen.
"Me neither, what's that pony up to now and...am I dancing?" Nick was stating off to say when he felt himself...was off.
At the moment, both hosts saw they were off from their seats, on the table to suddenly being dancing like it was the 70s.
"Yeah, let’s dance to kill the time!" Pinkie Pie responded to spin around her opponent who was being force to dance & shake her booty.
"Nick, this seems like Pinkie has used one of her new moves in JusSonic's world, a Disco Ball!" Johnny was stating this forth while his body was making some movement to the beat.
"Great and I thought my time going to a 70s club was a bad experience, especially in a speedo suit!" Nick rolled his eyes to moan & complain in seeing where this'll lead him.
"And when you pulled a ripper leg move that split you like a wish-bone," Johnny pointed out another fact that happened to Nick.
"And a nice pair of pants," Nick stated that when he split his legs, the commentator rip a good pair of pants too; now that was embarrassing.
"You gotta be kidding me! Hey Ref, is this allowed?" Surprise complains to the referee in seeing if this was even allowed.
"I'll allow it! I like!" The ref responded off in declaring this was not at all, illegal. "Oh yeah, I'm getting groovin' with my skillful dance moves now." Now the ref was really cutting it lose and the crowds seem to cheer for his groovy beat, don't ask us how he does it. Cause we haven't a clue either.
And so the fight continues, with Pinkie Pie having the overwhelming advantage now. And it seems everybody is getting in on the fun, to be dancing to the disco glowing beat music. When this is over, everybody will be plain exhausted from so much dancing.
"Phew, what a rush," Johnny said as he and Nick finally sat back in their seats. "Everyone is tired..."
"And so is Surprise and Pinkie is bouncing in, humming." Nick said as Pinkie, surprisingly still moving, bounces over.
"Bye bye!" Pinkie exclaims happily as she hits Surprise with a mallet, knocking the Pegasus pony out. "I Pinkie Promised not to kill you...I just didn't say about knocking you out."
"Mills come to inspect the damage." Johnny is heard as Mills, who recovered, came over and checks on Surprise, seeing that she is unconscious.
The bell rings as Mills holds up one of Pinkie's upper forelegs, saying, "And the winner is Pinkie Pie!"
The audience cheers wildly. Pinkie giggles as she picks Surprise and zips back to the time machine. After throwing the unconscious Pegasus pony back in, the Earth pony remarks, "Great fight! Back to Ponyland you go!"
Pinkie activates the time machine, causing a flash that send Surprise back to Ponyland. Back to the booth Johnny exclaims, "After a tiring performance, Pinkie has triumphed over her ancestor, proving how the 21st century can conquer the 80s."
"Phew, I feel..." Nick groans as he collides, falling unconscious to the booth floor.
"Oooookay; Folks, stick around for when we return, it's our big Nightmare Night like voice as Princess Luna takes on Nightmare Moon!"
We see an overhead shot of the crowd as well as the title before going to commercial break.
We see the overhead shot along with the title. The camera briefly goes down to a familiar group.
"Wow, what a battle." Pinkamena said with a smile.
Golden Heart nods while saying, "Indeed but now comes the main event : Luna VS Nightmare Moon."
The others nod as Pinkamena says while getting her robe and hood on, "Well we need to make sure that no ponies are in harm's way in this fight."
"Indeed, let's move up to the crowd and keep them safe."
All of them nod and head off as the light elf and Omega wear robes and hoods as well. Then we return to the booth where the hosts as well as Pinkie Pie are at.
"Hey fight fans! Welcome back to our show!" Johnny exclaims to the camera. "As usual, I'm Johnny Gomez here with Nick Diamond and Pinkie Pie."
"Yep! We had a super duper fun show when we last depart for commercial break!" Pinkie exclaims happily.
We see the clips of the previously two fights. The first one is Spike vs. Garble as Nick's voice explains, "So far, we saw a Godzilla like fight between Spike and Garble which ended in an electrocution of Garble himself."
We now see the clips of Pinkie Pie vs. Surprise with Pinkie's voice adding, "Also, yours truly had put on quite a show starring me and my ancestor Surprise. I won of course but bragging is Trixie's job , not mine."
We go back to the booth as Johnny speaks, "All right, we now go to the Mane Event of the night: Princess Luna vs. Nightmare Moon! Nick, how did this fight started?"
Nick explains, "Well, Johnny. Luna wishes to do this fight as a way of proving she's stronger than her evil past self, so that she can finally move on from the guilt she feels for the atrocities she committed as Night Mare Moon and show she has truly put the past behind her."
"Since we can't use the time machine to do so without Luna risking killing herself or doing the Keith Richards thing again, we decided on the next best thing to bring Nightmare Moon here tonight: DNA cloning!"
We see signs of science stuff, DNA slicing and such on screen. Pinkie comments, "Using DNA from Princess Luna and some science from when you guys did those Super Freak Fights, along with some magic to avoid confusion and some nightmare essence by one of the Demon Lords, we made a perfect Nightmare Moon. That oughta be fun."
Returning to the booth, Johnny adds, "And since we promised a fight that will happen during night..."
We see a Royal Guard near the power switch with Nick's voice remarking, "All the lights in the stadium will be shut off!" The guard flips the switch, during all the lights in the stadium off. "And the only lights are from the stars!"
The stadium's roof opens, revealing stars shining down to allow the audience a chance to see what's going on as well as the commentators. Pinkamena's group was all ready as the fight is starting soon
"Ok we all ready?" Pinkamena ask. All nod as she smiles. "Good, now let's keep the ponies and humans safe."
We see Luna flying in, landing in the stadium. Johnny's voice said, "All right, it's time for the mane event of the night; in this corner, the Goddess of the Night, the opposite of Celestia...PRINCESS LUNA!"
"Greetings, subjects! We are here to fight tonight!" Luna booms in her Royal Canterlot Voice.
We see an explosion in the other side as Nightmare Moon appears. Johnny's voice continues, "And in this corner, the evil side, the Demon of the past...NIGHTMARE MOON!"
"THOU SHALL suffer the wrath of Eternal Night!" Nightmare Moon's voice booms.
Both fighters go up to the referee. Mills comments, "First off, turn the Canterlot Voices off! I ain't ready to have a hearing aid yet!"
Nightmare Moon rolls her eyes then speaks normally, "How's this, mortal?"
"Better! Now I want a good clean fight. And try to give this damn crowd a show. Now let's get it on!"
The bell rings as Mills move out of the way to allow the Mane Event of the night to finally begin.
Nightmare Moon glares as she and Luna circles one another. The evil one, without the booming voice, said, "So we meet again evil twin. Shame; you look better as me but I will have to kill you to prove my superiority."
"Superiority; your evil is what drove me away from my sister and my friends." Luna snaps to Nightmare Moon sternly. "If you were Nyx, I wouldn't be doing this...but you are so it's time I conquer my past."
"The only thing you will be conquering is your GRAVE!" Nightmare Moon exclaims as she made a whip made of energy appears, grabbing Luna and sending her flying across the ring.
"And the match begins with Luna sent flying by Nightmare Moon's energy whip!" Johnny exclaimed.
"Yes, but Luna shakes it off." Nick said as Luna got up, shaking it off, "Looks like she needs a counter attack and quick."
"You aren't the only ones with powerful moves, Nighty!" Luna booms as she uses her magic to make stars appears.
"Wow, Nightmare Moon is seeing stars..." Pinkie comments as Luna throw the stars right at Nightmare Moon, hitting the evil one like mad, "Literally!"
"You will pay for that!" Nightmare Moon roars as she flew upward, firing a blast at Luna who dodges it.
An explosion occurs, causing half of the ring to be blown up. Nick complains, "Oh, come on! Can't we do a fight without parts of the stadium getting blown up?!"
"Apparently not." Pinkie said. "Now both Alicorns are in the air."
"Because of you, I almost send Equestria in Eternal Night!" Luna snaps as she fires a blast at Nightmare Moon, causing her to block it with her own.
"You are weak, pathetic...and got a fat flank!" Nightmare Moon taunts Luna, making her growl angrily as she charges in and slaps Nightmare Moon.
"Both fighters are in the air." Nick exclaims as both fighters are fighting in the night sky. "This has truly become a fight in the night!"
"Your mother wears boots on all hooves!" Nightmare Moon remarks flying in quickly and hitting her with a hoof.
"You are me, so we got the same mother, you ass!" Luna exclaims as she hits her right back.
"Look who's calling who an ass!" Nightmare Moon remarked, bucking her with her back hooves.
"Now they're going back and forth hitting each other!" Johnny exclaimed.
"And now, both fighters are stopping to think up a new plan." Pinkie said as both fighters of the night stops to rest a bit. "So far, not one of them looks like they're going down."
"This obviously going to be a cliche battle," Luna remarks in concern. "The good guys winning, the bad guys both dying..."
"THEN LET ME CHANGE THAT!" Nightmare Moon taunts as she flew in and stabs Luna in the stomach. The good mare screams out in surprise pain. The villainess moves her horn around, puncturing several organs. "Like it, bitch?!"
"Oh god! I was scared of this! The dreaded 'Dark Side of the Moon' reference," Johnny exclaims in shock as he sees what's happening in the sky.
"Princess Luna might not make it through this!" Pinkie exclaimed in concern and worry.
Nightmare Moon smacks her down, sending Luna bloody to the floor. The villainess flew down, stomping the Alicorn hard, making her cough up blood.
"We must confess, we were worried that we may end up being killed at the end...but now thou are screwed!" Nightmare Moon exclaims madly. She flew up...and stomp on Luna's neck, decapitating it right off.
"OH MY GOD," Johnny exclaims as everyone in the stadium looks stunned. "Looks like Luna is gone."
"Yep, a sad end," Nick said sadly as the audience booed the evil mare. "And this crowd aren't liking this."
"Awww, screw thou all!" Nightmare Moon scoffs as she flies back into the ring.
"Looks like Mills will have to..." Nick said sadly as Mills is about to announce the winner.
"WHAT THE HELL," Mills gasps in shock.
Everyone turns...and sees Luna appearing, alive and well saying, "How's the fight, Nightmare Moonie?!"
"What?! But how," Nightmare Moon demands in shock as she looks from the decapitated Luna to the one nearby.
"You or Nyx aren't the only ones to make clones...and unlike you two, I don't lose energy!" Luna announces proudly to her evil twin.
"No!!! IT CANNOT BE!!!" Nightmare Moon yelled in rage as she charged towards Luna with a magic blast.
"Luna is just standing there..." Nick said, noticing Luna still standing there. Suddenly, he dissolves after Luna's blasting tackle. "And she dissolves!"
"Good night!" Luna suddenly appears...with more clones.
"Hang on! Thou shouldn't be doing this!" Nightmare Moon scowls, turning to Mills. "She should be disqualified!"
"I'll allow it!" Mills exclaims to Nightmare Moon with a shrug. "No rules saying that you can't clone yourself."
"Fine! I'll destroy all of them!" Nightmare Moon shouted, and then, she conjured up a tornado with her magic before lightning bolts shoot out of the tornado towards the clones.
"I haven't seen Nightmare Moon this upset yesterday since she disowned her mother!" Pinkie exclaims. "Of course, that was Nyx, this is different so this probably doesn't count."
"And yet this Nightmare Moon is disowning her mother Luna!" Johnny remarks as lightning stuck the clones, dissolving them. "The question is, where's Luna?"
"SURPRISE," Luna giggles as she flew in out of nowhere, kicking Nightmare Moon to the mat, much to her annoyance. "Forgive me, but you were easily startled."
"Oh, shut up." Nightmare Moon growls as she got up. "NOW FACE CLONES OF OUR OWN!"
"Brace yourselves, folks! Moonie is going for the clones herself!" Nick exclaims as Nightmare Moon made...miniature Nightmare Moon?! "Oh, well, that isn't what we're expecting."
"Well, we did use the CDM science thing when making Super Freaks. The DNA thing became unpredictable, resulting in miniature clones of Nightmare Moon!" Johnny explains.
"Doesn't matter; Thou will face death! Attack, my mini mes," Nightmare Moon orders as the mini-Nightmare Moons charge at Luna.
Luna looks bored while saying, "You're kidding me, right?" She begins stomping and blasting at the clones, dissolving them.
"Well, Nightmare Moon's attempts ended up backfiring." Johnny comments. Luna attack the other clones, until they are gone.
"It's the Attack of the Lame Ass Clones, Johnny." Nick remarks in amusement.
"Grrr; I shall get you!" Nightmare Moon snaps. She charges at Luna and hit her...too lightly? The evil mare tries to hit her but is getting tired. Luna just stood there, unimpressed.
"Say, what's going on?"
"Awww, come on! Don't you get it? Nightmare Moon uses up much of her strength to make the clones unlike Lune who does so without a worry. Now she's exhausted." Pinkie said in amusement. Sure enough Nightmare Moon breathes in, getting very tired.
"And it looks like Nightmare Moon is done for!" Johnny exclaims.
"And now, Nightmare Moon, time to finish you off,” Luna said with a smirk as her horn glows; she then speaks in a stern mother voice, "You need a time out, young filly!"
Luna zaps Nightmare Moon, making her scream as a flash covers her. Nick calls out, "What's going on now?"
"Luna appears to be finishing off her evil self and..." Johnny said. We hear some crying. "Is that a foal crying?"
"Looks like it."
Once the flash is gone, everyone got a surprise: Nightmare Moon, minus the armor, is now a foal, crying and bawling. Luna smirks as she uses her magic to pick up her former enemy. She say sweetly, "Awww, does Miss Nighty need a nap?"
"Incredible! Luna turned Nightmare Moon into a foal! And this fight is over!" Johnny exclaims as the bell rings.
"The winner by Babality is Luna!" Mills exclaims as the audience cheers.
"I think it's time to take my new daughter with me." Luna said, cooing while rubbing noises with the baby Nightmare Moon who giggles playfully. "Auntie Celestia will love to see you, yes, yes, you are."
"Ugh!" Nick exclaims in the booth in disgust. "Make her stop, please! I am annoyed enough by the dancing as it is!"
"Well, Luna has won not only this fight but a new daughter too!" Pinkie exclaims with a happy smile. "Nyxsie just got a new cousin...half niece? Whatever works."
"Well folks, it looks like..." Johnny was about to prepare their usual sign off, but...
"Johnny, wait a second! Let's stop and think!" Nick stops his friend from finishing that last part of his discussion. "Every time we do the last bit of our broadcast, something happens which equals our stadium getting blown up!" He spoke in recalling that they seem jinx to always have this event happen without a building to stand in.
"Yes, I seem to recall that." Johnny nods slowly in hearing his friend recall those events, the last four times.
"And so far, we've had Pinkie's party cannon on high, Discord adding a self-destruct function, a killer mechanical crab blowing up a storage of fireworks, and Decepticons firing a powerful cannon on top of us!" Nick was counting down the four equal times that the CDM gang did something, and those times, they just dodge the bullet of being alive while their wrestle area gets blown to bits.
"Wow, when you think about, those do sound bad? But I know the cure." Pinkie Pie looked to Nick who seem on edge before deciding to help. "Spike, Phobos, could you guys get Nick a latte!" She turns to two baby Dragons nearby to ask for their aid.
"Okay!" The two Dragons (Spike came back to normal previously) nearby responded before heading off to get something to help.
"Take it easy Nicky, I figure you & Johnny have nervous nerves and so I added a Latte machine down the hall." Pinkie patted Nick's back to ease him of the stress that he seems to be having.
"Hugh, maybe I need that. A cup of Joe always helps calm my nerves." Nick sighs to feel a little better in what he'll receive.
"When did you install a latte machine Pinkie Pie?" Johnny stared at the pony in questioning when the gang had such a latte machine ever made.
"Just now, they had a special deal to on design. Two big red buttons, one on the left a latte, the one of the right to launch all our hidden nuclear missiles, which are currently program to target an area of whoever pushes the button to signal them.." Pinkie Pie smiled off to explain in what she did in installing something to make lattes and launch all the nukes they have.
"WHAAAT," Both host responded in shock horror, they have something which one push and it's game over.
"PINKIE PIE; WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Nick shouted out in terror, now it's for certain, they are gonna relive another explosion to the wrestle stadium.
"Don't worry, I told Spike & Phobos which was which by label." Pinkie waved off in not being worry, she took care of such problems.
"You mean those in your hoof?" Johnny pointed in seeing sticky labels that had 'latte' & 'Nuke Missile' on them; the pony still had them.
"Oh, well I'm sure they know which one is the right choice." Pinkie Pie responded to say that she explains which button did what, so they are safe. "Or did I mix that up too?" She asked in thinking of a second thought if she made a mix up of which button was okay or not.
The host looks worry in having that 'bad' feeling about now.
"Pressihmm…" Too late as the sound of a pressed red button to the left side was seen by Spike & Phobos… "Brruughnnn…brruughhnnn…" Red lights flashed and siren noises are heard as the dragons looked down to see that they ended up pressing…the nuke missile launching button.
"I'm thinking I pushed the wrong button." Phobos spoke off worried in seeing he did something wrong here.
"Gee, ya think?" Spike rolled his eyes in seeing he got the right button, but his pal push the one with the nuke trigger program.
"Okay....everypony follow my lead!" Pinkie Pie spoke off to everyone listening to her now before... "WAAAAAAUUUGGHHHH," She jumps up to begin panicking and screaming to run away now.
"WAAAAAAUUUHHHHH," Johnny & Nick scream before the panic crowds also turn to leave; here they go again.
Soon outside the Deathmatch stadium, several missiles were launched and then headed for their target before.... "KURPOOOWWWFRRUVHMMM....." Soon an explosion happened that completely destroyed the wrestle building. It never gets old.
And coming out of the rubble, again, were the host & their pink pony friend while they cough & shook dirt off of them.
"Cough-cough, well that wasn't so bad." Johnny coughs before saying how things seem kinda okay now.
"Right, like we're not use to this by now." Nick rolled his eyes in seeing; they've gone through another event of losing their stadium through destructive means.
"Well on another note, we can add nuke missiles to the list." Pinkie Pie smiled to say that with this fifth broadcast, the gang now have a fifth issue of what cause the building's destruction from an explosive event .
Nick only groans at hearing this while Johnny looks to the camera men.
"Well that's it from our side folks, we've had another explosive time here," Johnny spoke off in preparing the usual sign off moment.
"And just when you think we dodged an explosive disaster, another million dollar repair goes down the drain." Nick responded off to also make a claim over what's happened. "Just like my architecture of a beach condo," He signs to slap his head in seeing this event was just how he lost his condo.
"You wanted a beach condo?" Pinkie asked off puzzled & intrigued to hear this.
"That's a need to know basic, Pinkie." Nick spoke off to the pink pony that what happened with him is his own business.
"So until our place has been fixed up, I'm Johnny Gomez!" Johnny spoke off in making his claim of who he is now.
"And I'm the ever paranoid, Nick Diamond!" Nick also responded to let the audience viewers know who he is too.
"And lastly, the laughable Pinkie Pie, popping in to say...." Pinkie Pie pops in-between the human host to make this next final farewell response. "See you all soon....Good Fight...Good Night!" She smiled off to give a little farewell wave that they'll be back when they are done here.
And with that, the 'Celebrity Deathmatch' title pops in over the screen in signaling over the destruction of a lost stadium...the end of the broadcast.
The End
As we see the credits rolling, we can hear Nick calling out, "Coming next time on Celebrity Deathmatch: Twilight's Parents vs. Mr. & Mrs. Cake! Shining Armor vs. Big Macintosh! And Pinkamena vs. Princess Trollestia!! It's coming soon!"
Cast list
Jim Thorton: Johnny Gomez
Chris Edgerly: Nick Diamond, Mills Lane
Andrea Libman: Pinkie Pie, Pinkamena Diane Pie
Cathy Weseluck: Spike the Dragon
Vincent Tong: Garble the Dragon
B.J. Ward: Surprise
Tabitha St. Germain: Princess Luna, Nightmare Moon
Trevor Devall: Prince Blueblood
Richard Ian Cox: No Eyes
Matt Hill: Gronk
Nicole Oliver: Princess Celestia
Orlando Bloom: Golden Heart
Vic Mignonga: Omega
Michelle Creber: Apple Bloom
Chris Sanders: Phobos the Dragon
Author's Note
Kick ass! See? I told you I can be unpredictable at times. Time to hit the next MLP: FIM story in the timeline which is a short one...
"Tales From Two Twilights (happens shortly after the "Power Ponies" episode; crossover with the Harmony League universe): During a quiet period shortly after the adventure in Manetropolis, Twilight once more uses the "Multiversal Mirror Communication" spell, this time finding the Harmony League's universe and striking up a conversation with her counterpart from that universe; who goes by the super-name Purple Magic Horn.
Villains: All villains discussed by the two Twilights (all mentioned only)"
Yeah, it's hero time so until next time, read, review and suggest, folks!
This story references to another MLP: FIM fic 'Nyx's Family' as well as the actual CDM show.
The Smile HD look is from a video that is...too creepy to explain here.
The ending is a reference to the ending of ‘Monsters vs. Aliens’.
