Lyra Blew A Fuse
Big wide empty eyes, uncontrollable tongue flapping, sounds which could best be described as farting, and a complete indifference to almost anything around her. These were all symptoms which Lyra currently experienced, and much to Bon Bon’s embarrassment, everypony in the Ponyville Hospital’s clinic had their eyes on this bizarre situation.
“Just hold on, Lyra. I’m sure the doctor can figure out what’s wrong with you,” mumbled Bon Bon while she reassuringly stroked her marefriend’s right shoulder. Although the stares annoyed Bon Bon, she did her best to ignore it.
“Mommy, what’s wrong with that mare?” asked a little filly, tugging her mother’s leg while pointing and staring shamelessly.
“Erk… Can they – pppffftt – just call us – ppffftt – in already,” grumbled Bon Bon getting more and more frustrated with not just Lyra’s constant mouth farts, but also the incessant foals and even adult ponies pointing out that something was terribly wrong with her marefriend.
“Bon Bon, Doctor Stable is ready to see you in room 103,” sounded a voice over the speakers.
“Finally!” exclaimed Bon Bon with both forelegs raised up high. She quickly scooted off her seat, dragging Lyra along by the hoof. Despite Lyra having seemingly checked out mentally, she was quite capable of walking around if just pulled or shoved a bit.
The two mares entered a small room with a beige tile floor and blue walls. A few cabinets aligned the right wall, and opposite to them were a couple of chairs and a gurney. Bon Bon guided Lyra onto the gurney and then sat down on a chair herself, listening to the still never-ending stream of farts coming out of her beloved marefriend’s muzzle.
Several minutes past by before their doctor entered the room, reading the chart as he opened the door. “Good afternoon, Miss Bon Bon, what seems to be th-“ said Doctor Stable before coming to a halt as he stared at the fully grown mare acting like a four year old on the gurney, “the problem… Oh my.”
“Please help her, she’s been like this all day!” cried Bon Bon while almost leaping out of her chair to grab the doctor. “It doesn’t matter what I say or do, she just keeps on doing… THAT!” She turned so she stood at Stable’s side, pointing at Lyra who still went about with her happy fart sounds.
“Well Miss Bon-“
“Just call me Bonnie.”
“Well, Bonnie. Could you tell me what happened to her, or what she did when she got stuck like this?” asked Doctor Stable.
“Well…” mumbled Bonnie while embarrassedly scratching the back of her head.
Earlier that day Lyra and Bonnie had gone to the marketplace to buy some groceries. That was until Lyra spotted Vinyl Scratch across the market, instantly running up to her friend.
“Hey Vinyl!” said Lyra while grinning.
“Yeah?” asked Vinyl before turning away from her conversation with Octavia to see the green unicorn standing behind her with a serious glimmer in her eyes.
“Fart battle, GO!” yelled Lyra before her body tensed up and her face contorted awkwardly with every mouth-fart escaping her lips. Vinyl did not even hesitate for a second before she joined in on this juvenile of competitions.
“They kept at it for a good while… That was until Lyra’s eyes became all empty of life and she just stopped reacting to us. I didn’t know what to do with her, so we went here. I think she’s blown a fuse or something.”
“Well, it was good you came here, Bonnie. I’m sure we can figure this out.” The doctor slowly approached his patient, holding a flashlight up to quickly flicker back and forth across Lyra’s eyes. He followed this up with doing several more small tests to see how reactive the mare still was. Meanwhile, Bon Bon paced back and forth behind him, hoping for an answer to this unusual problem. “So… Do you know what’s wrong with her?” she asked after a few minutes of examination.
The doctor turned around to face Bon Bon. His eyes were stern and lips bent into a frown. “I’m sorry to tell you this, Bonnie. But…” He cast one more glance over at Lyra before continuing, “your friend here has, ‘Silly-itis’.”
“Silly-itis?.. That sounds like a made up disease.” Bonnie was not impressed at all with this diagnosis. She kept on staring the Doctor down as she awaited further explanation.
“Yes, I’m quite serious. There has only been one other documented case for this very rare disease. We’re not completely sure what causes it, but it was first found in a pony named Fluffle Puff.” The doctor searched through one of the cabinets for the documented case’s file to show Bon Bon. “Aah, here it is.” Stable hoofed over the file for Bonnie to read, and sure enough, it was an actual documented illness.
“But… There is a treatment right? I mean, she won’t be stuck like this forever, right?” Bonnie looked up from the file with hopeful eyes.
“I’m sorry… We’ve yet to figure out a cure for Fluffle Puff. It does seem like she has come around some from the illness. She moves around, communicates in her own unique way, and is fully capable of living a rich and wonderful life. I’m sure Miss Lyra will eventually come around and be just as functional as Fluffle Puff. I’d suggest you to simply show her as much loving care as you can while she recovers.”
“Okay…” Bon Bon gave her marefriend a distraught glance as they were led out of the hospital, and sent on their way home. They had gotten nothing of help, only the answer to what was wrong. There was apparently no help to get from the professionals, and maybe there was no medicine or magic in all of Equestria that could cure Lyra. Bonnie sighed in defeat while walking inside her and Lyra’s home.
“It’s okay, I still love you, Lyra… even if you’re a bit sillier than usual.” Bon Bon’s smiled carried the weight of her worry for her marefriend, but also tender affection for the mare she’d spent so many years with, building a wonderful life together. Watching Lyra in her broken state as she sat on the couch brought back countless memories of them snuggling up in loving embrace… and how the last time they did so could just have been, the last time.
“I always will love you.” Bonnie kissed Lyra’s cheek before wiping her own, sighing heavily afterwards. She picked up a newly arrived package and placed it on Lyra’s lap. “Look, that thing you wanted for your ‘human research’ has arrived.” Her tone had returned to its usual state in hope that if she acted like her usual self, everything would return to normal.
“Ppppfffftttt…….” Lyra finally stopped her fart sounds, her eyes normalized, and she finally moved a limb on her own accord. “Huh? When did we get home?” asked Lyra while looking around in confusion.
“LYRA!” shrieked Bonnie in excitement as she clasped both forelegs around her marefriend, much to Lyra’s surprise. “Huh? What’s wrong, toots?”
Bon Bon pulled back to stare into Lyra’s eyes, explaining everything that had happened. Her absentminded stare, the doctor’s diagnosis, and Bonnie’s plan to nurture Lyra back to normal.
“Geez, sorry about that. But, did I win the competition?” she asked with a wide grin on her face.
Bonnie stared back with cold unmoving pupils as Lyra awaited validation for her awesomeness. “Yes, you did. I’m glad you know what’s important,” groaned Bon Bon while planting a hoof in the middle of her own face.
