That's still not a wrench...

by Brolkier

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2024

Even turning the instructions upside down, still doesn't fix the problem.

I just wanted to pick up some supplies...that's it! I didn't want help with what I was doing, but I got it anyway.

I felt safer blowing myself up by accident, then I did working with this mare.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA THAT'S NOT A WRENCH!!!"

Cover art by: Berrypawnch

Idea courtesy of SmileHDFan from my "I want to hear from you!" blog post.

Published 2014-04-21 23:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-21 23:20:02 UTC

By any other name...still isn't right.

The day started off normal, like any other. I got up, ate, then proceeded to get back to my weather work. I've been trying to find ways to make the weather of Equestria easier to manage, so I'm constantly working in my office, trying to invent new things.

This particular day however, held something more in store for me. The invention that I was going to be working on today, called for supplies that I couldn't readily get up in Cloudsdale, so I needed to head down below. Ponyville being the closest town beneath me, I made my way down there, in search of the supplies I needed.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

After wandering around the marketplace, and various other stalls in the town, I finally managed to get just about everything I needed. I loaded up the last bit of my things into my saddle bags, and started trying to make my way back up to the clouds, but found that I had underestimated the weight of everything I had bought. Being a Pegasus, my body isn't really used to carrying heavy loads, and my wings can only compensate for so much weight.

As luck would have it though, my struggling caught the attention of a pony nearby, whom asked if I needed any help.

"Hey there mister, are you having some trouble?" The mare asked.

"Unfortunately so." I replied, my back still to her. "It seems I didn't take into account how much all of this was going to weigh, before I packed it all in the bags. To make matters worse; I still need to take all of this back up to Cloudsdale."

As I continued to struggle, I didn't notice the mare come up from behind me, and pull off one of the bags. The weight on my back slightly relieved, I finally managed to get myself up into the air, before turning around to thank the helpful pony.

"Thanks for your help Ms..." I asked.

"Derpy Hooves! And you're welcome mister." The mare replied.

It didn't take me very long to notice that she was a Pegasus like me, which was good, since it would save me the trouble of having to make a second trip back. However, there was one thing about her that threw me off a bit. As she opened her eyes after smiling at me, I quickly noticed that there was something wrong with her eyes.

I knew something like this couldn't be normal, but I suppressed my urge to ask her about it, figuring she'd probably already been asked by every pony in Ponyville at least once...or more.

"Uh...yeah...so. If you wouldn't mind, would you help me take these things back to my office in Cloudsdale?" I asked her.

"Sure thing!" She replied, strangely excited.

Granted I've always put more faith in Pegasi like myself, over others, but I still found it kind of strange that this one seemed so eager to help me. I turned myself towards the direction of Cloudsdale, and the two of us took off.

/)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\ /)(\

It didn't take us long to make it to Cloudsdale, which was a relief to me, since I wasn't sure if Derpy was going to be able to carry the weight of half of my supplies with her the whole way. I was struggling a bit myself. After walking a short ways to my office near the weather factory, I took my key out of my jacket pocket, and proceeded to open up the door.

Once inside, I put my bag down next to my work table, and told Derpy that she could do the same for the other one. When I didn't hear a thud of the bag dropping after a minute, I turned to see an awed, spaced out look on her face. To be honest, I wasn't sure if she had "derped" herself out, or if she was really looking over different parts of my office with her eyes. I shook my hoof in front of her face, until she snapped back to reality.

"Wow! You've got a lot of neat stuff her mister! What is all this?" She asked.

"These?" I asked, looking around at my current, and failed inventions. "These are my life's work. I'm trying to find new ways to manipulate the weather of Equestria, and make the lives of the weather ponies easier."

"Oooo!" She said with amazement.

It was at that point that I also realized something else, and something quite rude to boot. I hadn't introduced myself to my helpful...helper yet.

"Oh, right. My name is Cloudy Airy, by the way. Thanks again for your help Derpy. If you don't mind now though, I need to get to work on my latest invention." I told her.

"Okay no problem!" She replied. "Uh...what exactly are you making?"

I'll admit; her eyes and speech made me question her intelligence a bit at first, but I didn't want to be any ruder than I'd already been. I tried explaining my current invention to her as best I could.

"This is a device that is designed to fire something out of it, like a fireworks stand, and then set it off a short ways later, in order to drop cloud seeds out of it." I explained to her.

"You're...feeding clouds?" She asked, a confused look on her face. Although that could have just been her normal face, I couldn't really tell.

"Sort of." I replied. "You see; the idea is to control the clouds from afar, rather than by flying to each individual one, and working with them manually. I hope to someday create something that will be able to do this quickly and efficiently, without too much trouble."

"So, what about your other inventions?" She asked me.

I let out a sigh, before turning my attention to the ever growing pile of failed devices in the corner of my office.

"They've been...less than cooperative." I told her.

Figuring that had answered the last of her questions, I decided to just get to work on my invention, not paying her anymore mind. After about a minute of me trying to figure out what part of the invention to work on next, I was reminded that I still wasn't alone here.

"Um, do you need any help with that?" She asked.

Now, I'm used to working by myself, since most other Pegasi think I'm foolish to work with things like this, but since she had helped me bring my things here, showed some kind of unbiased interest, and offered to help me again, I decided to humor her.

"Uh, sure." I told her. "Can you pass me a wrench please?"

"Okie doki!" She replied gleefully.

In no time at all, I held out my hoof, still paying attention to my invention, and quickly felt her place an object in it. I brought it to my view, only to find that it wasn't what I had asked for.

"Um, this is a screwdriver. I asked for a wrench." I told her.

"Opps, my bad!" She told me, before rummaging through my tool box again.

I placed the screwdriver on the table with me, figuring that I might be able to use it later on, before I held out my hoof once more. Once again, I felt her place something in it, only to look at what it was, and let out a little annoyed groan.

"This is a hammer." I told her. "I need a wrench. It's the thing that looks like it has a moon on the end."

"Oh, okay!" She replied.

I didn't really need the hammer, but I set it down with the screwdriver anyway. Sure enough, hoof extended, I felt something else placed into it. Not wanting to waste setting another useless tool on my table, I decided to test Derpy on what she had just given me.

"Okay, now does this tool have a moon on the end of it?" I asked.

"Yep!" She replied.

I judged it's weight in my hoof, feeling that it seemed like the right weight for a wrench, but decided to try one more question, just in case.

"Is this the same thing as what you've already given me?" I asked.

"Nope!" She replied.

Thinking perhaps she finally got it right, I moved the tool in front of me, only to have my grin turn to a frustrated frown.

"Derpy." I said to her.

"Yeah?" She responded.

"This isn't a wrench." I told her.

"What? Then what is it?" She asked.

"This is a flashlight." I said turning to her with a stern face.

"But, but it has a moon on the end of it?" She said, trying to make her defense.

"How does this have a moon on the end if it?" I asked her.

"It's all circley and white, like the moon!" She told me, adding a little pep at the end to make herself sound right.

I face hoofed myself, forgetting that I was still holding the flashlight. Clearly, this mare knew little to nothing about tools, or perhaps even moons for that matter. Although, after thinking it over, I might have been a little vague for her.

"Maybe I should have been a bit more specific. The tool I'm looking for looks like it has a "crescent" moon on the end. Does that help?" I asked.

Derpy nodded her head up and down, looking like she understood what I meant. She stuck her head back into my tool box, and this time I watched her look around for the "wrench."

"Here it is!" She told me, holding up another, still wrong, tool.

Pliers.

"No." I told her.

A disappointed look came over her face, before it was replaced by a determined look, as she dove into the box again. This went on for what felt like 10 minutes.

Wire cutters.

"No."

Tape.

"No."

Ruler.

"No."

Crowbar.

"No."

Protractor.

"NO."

Pencil.

"NO."

Hammer again.

"NO!"

Paper clip.

"NO!"

One of my failed inventions.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, THAT'S NOT A WRENCH!!!" I yelled at her.

I would've thought that might make her cry, but instead, she got angry and put a pout on her face.

"Well you've got too many tools here that look like moons!" She told me.

"They don't all look like moons!" I replied, before reaching into the toolbox myself, and pulling out the wrench I was looking for. "Here! This is a wrench! See, it has a crescent moon on the end?"

"Well then why didn't you just say that you wanted that in the first place?" She asked me.

My mind broke at that point. I dropped the wrench from my hoof, letting it hit the ground. My jaw agape, and my eye beginning to twitch, I couldn't say anything. Derpy then turned her back to me, before starting to walk out of my office.

"I was just trying to help. You should have just asked for a gripper if you didn't want to confuse me." She muttered aloud to herself as she left.

When the door slammed shut, that's when I finally snapped back to reality. I tried to wrap my head around what had just happened, but quickly gave up. I don't know who was really in the wrong, but I felt like should at least apologize for..."confusing" her.

I took a step towards the door, before deciding that I may as well set the wrench on the table, since I finally got it. I looked down at the ground, thinking it would be right by my hoof, but didn't see it anywhere. My gaze jumped around the floor, but the wrench was now nowhere in sight.

"WHERE'S MY WRENCH!?!"

Author's Note

Thanks everyone for reading! This story was based off an idea shout-out that I got from a blog post I made recently. Thanks again to SmileHDFan for the original concept!

Ideas are still open to be submitted to my blog post if anyone else want's to see me try writing something else.
Link-> http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/312476/i-want-to-hear-from-you