Insufficient

Chapters

Feeling
Being
Increasingly
Overwhelmingly
Maybe Not
Less

Feeling

It was the perfect day for reading. The skies of Ponyville were grey, the clouds letting a light drizzle cover the town. It was ever so slightly chilly, but a crackling fire kept the chill at bay and filled the Golden Oaks Library with a cheery warmth. The smell of hot chocolate wafted through the air, almost rich enough to taste. On days like this, Twilight would curl up with a blanket and book, her mug of hot chocolate beside her, and whisk away into another world.

Today, her book of choice sat unopened on the ground. She sipped gently at her beverage and stared into the fire blankly.

Twilight shook her head, quickly taking the last swig of her cocoa. She winced as the hot liquid burned on its way down. She stood up and shook her blanket off, picking up the untouched book and returning it to its place on the shelf then heading into the kitchen.

Her brow remained furrowed as she washed the mug. The sounds of the rain and the running sink didn't quite cover the thick silence that hung in the library.

The clean mug was put away and Twilight sighed. Time to clean. She opened the closet, grabbed the feather duster, and returned to the living room.

Her horn glowed and the duster flew around the room eliminating the dust that marred the surfaces. Twilight's war for cleanliness was swift, brutal, and effective, eliminating every trace of dust in the room. She tried to smile at the job well done, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly.

Twilight returned the duster to the closet and looked around. A moment later and she was on her way back to her room.

Books, papers, and blankets covered most of the floor. Twilight's horn began to glow and with a sigh she began to clear the clutter. Blankets folded, books returned to their various shelves, and papers stacked neatly on her desk.

She seated herself at her desk and pulled out some blank paper and an inkwell. Setting those aside for a moment, she levitated over an envelope sealed with her brother's cutie mark. Though she had already read the letter, she took the time to read it once more.

Finally ready to pen her response, Twilight dipped her quill in the ink well and began to write. The address and recipients present, Twilight's brow furrowed. The tip of the quill hovered over the paper but didn't move.

After a minute, Twilight shook her head and put the quill back in the inkwell. She sat and stared at the blank parchment in front of her, tapping her hoof against the floor. The longer she stared, the faster she tapped until at last she stopped. With a sigh, she crumpled up the blank reply and threw it towards the trash where it landed among several other equally blank papers.
Twilight let out a groan and flopped down onto her bed. The rain pattered on the window. The only other sound was the sound of her own breathing. After a few seconds, Twilight shifted, curled up, and pulled a blanket over her. She stared out the window, watching the clouds and the rain.

The smell of bread and sugar filled the warm air in Sugarcube Corner. The shop was filled with the sounds of customers taking shelter from the rain and having something warm on the brisk day. Every now and then a bell could be heard tinkling over the sounds of conversation, invariable accompanied by a blast of cool, damp, air.

Pinkie didn't mind. She hopped around the tables taking orders and refilling coffees while she chatted with the patrons.

Pinkie whistled an upbeat tune as she made her way back into the kitchen, empty coffee pot in hoof. She came to a sudden stop, her body beginning to twitch.

"Ohh, itchy mane, floppy ears, shaking hoof!" she squeaked. Leaving the empty pot on the counter, Pinkie bounced back out into the shop just in time to see Rarity and Fluttershy close the door behind them.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so glad you made it." Pinkie smiled, practically shaking with joy. "Do you want something to eat? I could get you some cupcakes or some cinnamon rolls-"

"I think a little coffee would be perfect for today," Rarity cut her off.

"You betcha. I saved us our usual spot." Pinkie bounced away, pausing to check out of her shift then continuing on into the kitchen. The empty pot was refilled and balanced on Pinkie's head along with three mugs.

One balancing act later, the three mares nursed steaming mugs and chatted at their table.

"When are the others getting here?" Pinkie asked, taking a swig of her coffee.

"Well Rainbow Dash is busy with the weather and Applejack is doing some last minute work before the first snow next week," Rarity answered. "As for Twilight, I have no idea. It's not like her to be late."

"Oh dear, I hope she's alright." Fluttershy said.

"Come on, she's like the most powerful unicorn there's been in forever and she's super smart. I bet she's just busy with some crazy, sciencey experiment," Pinkie reassured her. Fluttershy frowned, not entirely convinced. Before she could open her mouth to protest Rarity began to talk.

"Well, Since the three of us are alone we could head to the spa. Normally I wouldn't suggest it, but since the two who would usually protest are absent, why not?" Rarity suggested.

"But what about the rain?" Pinkie asked. "We shouldn't go to the spa if we're just gonna get all muddy and nasty afterwards."

Rarity laughed. "Of course not, darling. Rainbow Dash and I were talking the other day and she told me that the rain would be sure to clear up by late afternoon, and if we walk carefully we shouldn't have to worry about the mud."

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said with a smile. "I think a spa trip would be just peachy today! We can soak in the hot tubs, and relax in the sauna, and get a hooficure, and-"

"And everything else the spa provides," Rarity cut Pinkie off. "Now I'll just have to pick up a few bits at home, and I'll meet you two there."

"Rarity," Fluttershy began before Rarity shook her head.

"No need Fluttershy. This trip will be on me." With that she finished the last sip of her coffee and made her way to the door.

"Umm, Pinkie," Fluttershy said as the earth pony took another swig of her coffee.

"Yeah, Fluttershy?" she replied.

"I know you said that it's nothing, but I'm still kinda worried about Twilight." Fluttershy lowered her head so that her bangs hid most of her face. Her eyes stayed trained on her hoof as it held her mug.

"Well, If you want we could go check on her." Pinkie offered, a warm smile on her face. Just as she'd hoped, Fluttershy looked up.

"But what about Rarity?" the pegasus asked.

Pinkie chuckled. "Well, you can go with her and I can check up on Twilight. I'm sure Rarity won't mind and I bet you'll have a lot more fun at the spa than I would."

"Well, only if you're sure," Fluttershy said, smiling again.

"It's no problem," Pinkie replied with a smile. The rest of the conversation went on uneventfully and soon the two finished their coffees and said their goodbyes. Pinkie took the mugs back to the kitchen and quickly washed them before grabbing a scarf and heading out.

Pinkie loved the rain. Rainy days meant hot chocolate, coffee, and warm treats. Rainy days meant the perfect cool temperature and nice warm fires. The only thing better than rainy days were snowy days. Her thoughts drifted off to the upcoming winter as she walked.

Before she knew it, Pinkie Pie arrived at Golden Oaks Library and knocked at the door. She waited for a minute but there wasn't an answer. A slight frown on her face, she knocked again. There was still no answer.

"Twilight always answers the door during library hours. If she's not home she at least leaves a sign out." Pinkie Pie frowned. "Maybe Fluttershy was right." After a moment's debate she decided to go in to check on Twilight.

Pinkie opened the door slowly, not sure what to expect on the other side. Everything was just how it usually was. The shelves were neatly dusted and everything was organized.

"Twilight?" Pinkie called out, making her way to the kitchen door. "You here?" The kitchen was empty so she turned back to the main room. The door down to Twilight's basement was open but there weren't any lights on.

"Twilight, it's dark down there so I'm just gonna assume you're not there, okay?" Satisfied by the lack of response Pinkie closed the door and went upstairs. She walked along the hallway, checking each room along the way. Finally she reached Twilight's room.

She pushed open the door which was slightly ajar and walked into the room. Pinkie let out a small sigh of relief as she saw the pony wrapped in a blanket on the bed. Twilight's chest rose and fell evenly with her breaths. Pinkie moved quietly around the bed.

The smile fell off her face. Twilight wasn't sleeping peacefully. Every few moments she would wince and whimper, a frown plastered on her face. Pinkie Pie paused before moving closer.

"Twilight," she said in a soft voice, causing the lavender mare's eyelids to flutter. "Hey, Twilight," she repeated a little louder.

Twilight's eyes opened, and in a moment she made eye contact with an unusually somber Pinkie Pie. As quickly as she could manage, Twilight rolled over and sat up. Finally, after a silence hung in the room for a few moments she spoke.
"Hey Pinkie," Twilight said, her voice dripping with false happiness. "What brings you around?"

"Well, uhh..." Pinkie trailed off as she cocked her head before continuing, "I guess, you missed the get together with the girls and Fluttershy was worried so I offered to swing by and see if you were alright, but you didn't answer when I knocked, so I decided to come inside to check if you were okay, and I found you here."

"Oh," she replied lamely. "Well, you stopped by. I'm okay. Sorry I missed the girls, I was tired and stuff." Twilight's hoof twitched anxiously by her side.

"Twilight," Pinkie began, but stopped herself. She took a deep breath then continued in a happier tone. "Okie dokie lokie, that's good to hear. See ya later, Twi!"

Confused, Twilight looked up and met eyes with Pinkie Pie who had made her way to the doorway. The earth pony wasn't smiling. "Twi, when you feel like talking about it. Your friends are here for you," she said simply before turning and trotting out of the room.

Twilight sat quietly, rubbing her foreleg as she looked after her friend. A war waged itself inside her.

"Wait," Twilight finally called after the pink mare, bringing her to a pause at the top of the stairs. Pinkie trotted back to the doorway and stood there waiting. Twilight seemed to struggle for a moment before she could say anything more. No matter how hard she tried, it seemed there was nothing more she could say.

Without a word Pinkie walked back and pulled herself onto Twilight's bed. She placed a hoof on Twilight's back and pulled the unicorn closer. They didn't need any more words; the hug was enough.

"Check!" Pinkie giggled around a mouthful of bishop. She released the piece careful not to disturb the rest of the board and looked over her situation. Things were going well. She was up a knight on Twilight, but the unicorn could never be counted out.

Pinkie's adversary sat across from her, wrapped loosely in a blanket and looking over the chessboard carefully. Knowing that it'd be a while before Twilight decided on a move, Pinkie closed her eyes, soaking up the warmth from the fireplace.

After hugging for a few minutes Twilight still hadn't felt like talking, so instead Pinkie suggested they play a game. Pinkie opened her eyes and looked over the board happily. It'd been too long since she'd played chess. She really enjoyed the game but hardly played it anymore. Her expression softened as she thought about all the afternoons she'd played games with her Granny Pie, chess chief among them.

A glow from Twilight's horn drew Pinkie from her revelry as Twilight lifted one of her pawns and moved it forward two spaces. "Check," Twilight countered, blocking Pinkie's attack while revealing one of her own.

"Wha?" Pinkie squeaked, looking over the pieces and groaning at her mistake. "Aww, shoot. You got me, Twilight. Nice move," she conceded and moved her king to a safe square.

"Thank you," Twilight chuckled as she captured Pinkie's bishop, placing it with the other fallen members of the earth pony's ranks.

From there the game went quickly downhill for Pinkie. Despite an extremely evasive knight and a dangerous rook, Twilight finally took down Pinkie's king.

"Wow, Twilight," Pinkie began as she returned the pieces to the board. "That might've been the best game of chess I've played in a long time."

"It was a lot of fun, Pinkie." Twilight replied. "Where'd you learn how to play chess?" She asked as she set the chessboard back on it's space on the bookshelf.

"Oh you know me. I know all sorts of games," Pinkie answered with a laugh. "My Grannie Pie actually taught me chess. We didn't have many other games on the farm so I got to play a lot."

"Well," Twilight began, swallowing thickly before continuing. " Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciated it." Twilight blinked, trying to stem the flow of tears that threatened to leak from her eyes and hide them from her friend. Pinkie pretended not to notice.

"Any time, Twilight." Pinkie drew Twilight into another strong hug. "I'm always up for a game of chess." Pinkie gave Twilight another squeeze. "But I gotta hurry on back home. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are having a date night tonight and I'm foalsitting." With that she hopped towards the door.

"Pinkie," Twilight said as her friend reached the door, but she wasn't quite loud enough for the earth pony to hear her.

The sky had cleared leaving the air filled with the clean smell of the rain. Pinkie trotted through the streets, carefully avoiding the mud puddles that dotted the ground. She made her way to the spa, hoping to catch Fluttershy and Rarity. As luck would have it, she made it just in time to catch her two friends on their way out.

"Oh, hello again, Pinkie," Rarity greeted her. "The spa was simply lovely as always, though it wasn't the same without you. You'll have to come with us on another day."

"Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye," Pinkie promised.

"Pinkie, did you see Twilight?" Fluttershy asked.

"You betcha! She was super sorry she missed out get together, she was feeling really under the weather so she headed back to bed."

"Oh the poor dear. I do hope she feels better soon. Wouldn't want her to get any worse, especially with Spike away."

"I should make her some soup," Fluttershy added.

The conversation lulled as the three kept walking. They reached a fork in the path and Rarity said her farewells, heading back off to Carousel Boutique. Fluttershy thanked Pinkie again for checking on Twilight and then departed as well.

Pinkie headed towards Sugarcube Corner at an easy trot, mind not really focused. Her thoughts trailed back to the look on Twilight's face when she slept. The discomfort and unhappiness. A frown grew on her face. Twilight shouldn't be unhappy. A part of her just laughed it off, saying she was just sick. The rest of her wasn't convinced.

Pinkie was so caught up in her thoughts she failed to notice where she was. The next thing she knew she was on the ground, slightly dazed. She shook her head clear only to see that she'd made it to Sugarcube Corner already.

With a giggle she got to her hooves and headed inside. A few customers sat at the tables, but the vast majority of the store was empty. After saying hello to a few of the patrons, Pinkie made her way upstairs. She chatted for a while with the Cakes who had already set their foals to bed, until it was their reservation time. After quickly checking on the two foals, and headed to her room.

She stepped over the various games and other party debris that was scattered over the floorboards and leaped onto her bed. She let out a contented sigh as she looked over the familiar room.

Twilight's face came to her again and she frowned. Her stomach sank. The bed creaked as she rolled over to face the reptile tank that rested against the wall. Gummy was asleep on his rock under the heat lamp. Disappointed she couldn't talk to her pet, Pinkie flopped onto her back.

"I hope Twilight's gonna be okay." she muttered under her breath. "Maybe, I should make her some cupcakes tomorrow." Pinkie's mouth began to water at the thought of cupcakes. She shook her head. "No, I should make Twilight's favorite treat."

She paused, trying to remember what Twilight's favorite was. Nothing came to her. "Oh come on you silly filly!" she growled herself. "She's one of your best friends. How can you not know her favorite type of dessert?" Still, nothing came to mind.

Pinkie sat in stunned silence. Her body began to droop and her mane lost some of it's puffiness. "C-come on Pinkie, it's okay you don't know her favorite dessert. You just gotta think of something else she might enjoy," she stammered.

"I could get a new book for her, or take her to see a movie," she mumbled. "But where would I even begin with books? Does she even like movies?" Pinkie asked herself, trying to remember if Twilight had ever mentioned going to see a movie. Pinkie couldn't remember for the life of her.

Her hooves began to tremble. She slumped back onto her pillows, her mane slowly straightening out. "Come on Pinkie, you've known Twilight forever. You know more about her than she likes books and magic. I mean sure, you didn't know she had a brother until just a few months ago, but that doesn't mean anything, right?"

Pinkie bit her lip. "You must just be fretting right now, Pinks. That's it," she said in a forced chuckle. "Just a little bit of forgetfulness. All those little details you know about all your other friends will come back to you. Just gotta wait." She sat down and waited, willing for something to come to her anything. Nothing did.

Tears welled in her eyes and her body slowly slumped to the ground. "What kind of friend am I?" she asked herself in a half sob. She closed her eyes, struggling to keep the tears at bay. She took a deep breath. "It's okay," she muttered to herself. "Don't blow things out of proportion. You've just made a mistake. Twilight won't hate you for it." Her heartbeat slowed and her breathing evened out again.

"I'll just have to spend more time with Twilight," she decided, straightening up. "I'm gonna be such a good friend, Twilight won't know what hit her! I'll just head over tomorrow and spend the day with her! What better way is there to get to know someone better than spend time with them?"

With that decided, Pinkie rose to her hooves, feeling a little bit better. She got ready for bed, and quickly fell asleep, ready to make amends the next day.

Being

Warmth radiated out from the ovens, filling the kitchen with a pleasant heat in the crisp morning. Pinkie hummed quietly as she baked Sugarcube Corner's treats for the day. She moved with practiced ease, enjoying the familiar work. It didn't take long until the morning's baking was done and the aroma of freshly baked bread was hanging the air.

Pinkie was just finishing restocking the display case when Mr. and Mrs. Cake came downstairs. The couple blinked groggily, both still worn out from their late night.

"Good morning," Pinkie said with a smile as she closed the display. "Did you two enjoy your date last night?"

"Very much so," Mrs. Cake yawned. "Thanks for staying home and watching the foals last night, Pinkie."

"Don't worry about it. It's never a problem," Pinkie replied. "Anytime you ever need anything just ask. Especially if it's foalsitting. I love to look after the twins. They're so cute and it's always fun to play with them. Last night, Pound was playing when Pumkin came over--"

"Would you like a cup, Pinkie?" Mr. Cake asked, interrupting the pink pony as he turned on the coffee pot. He yawned heavily again and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Umm, sure," Pinkie replied with a small frown. The shop fell quiet, only the drip of the coffee maker breaking the silence. Pinkie sat down at one of the tables as her body tensed, a shiver ran down her spine and her left foreleg began to itch. She fiddled with her hooves until the feeling passed, a frown still on her face.

Soon a steaming cup was sitting between Pinkie's hooves. She sipped her coffee slowly and stared out the window, watching the sun rise over the rooftops. The Cakes talked quietly as they checked everything again before the shop opened. Pinkie shook her head and sighed, trying to bring a smile back to her face.

After a few minutes, Pinkie finished the dregs of her coffee and got up, heading back into the kitchen. She washed her mug and set it aside. Opening one of the cupboards, she grabbed a basket and filled it with an assortment of bread and treats she'd made extra that morning. At last she smiled as she closed the basket.

"See you later, Mr. and Mrs. Cake," she called before opening the back door and heading out into the alley.

A minute later, Pinkie was trotting through Ponyville with the basket on her back as the town began to stir. Signs flipped from closed to open as shopkeepers readied themselves for the first customers of the day. The smells of baking and strands of conversation floated through open windows as the population of Ponyville got ready to start the day.

Pinkie rounded the last corner and the library came into view. As she approached the door however, she paused noticing the closed sign. A momentary frown came over her face before she took a deep breath and planted a smile back firmly in place, only a little bit of her unease showing. She knocked on the oak door and waited.

When there was no response, Pinkie bit her lip and knocked again.

"You silly filly," she muttered under her breath after a few more moments of silence. "Twilight probably isn't even up yet, and here you are disturbing her. You should know by now, ponies don't like to be pestered in the morning," she berated herself, struggling to keep any semblance of a smile on her face.

Just as she began to turn away, the sound of somepony rushing towards the door echoed from inside, and an instant later, the door swung open revealing Twilight with a uncharacteristically unkempt mane and confused expression. As her eyes met Pinkie's however, the confusion was replaced with an expression of pleasant surprise.

"Pinkie?" Twilight asked. "I wasn't expecting any guests today, let alone this early. What brings you around?" She opened the door wide and beckoned the earth pony in.

"Oh, nothing much. I just thought maybe I'd swing by with some treats," Pinkie replied, gesturing towards the basket as she followed Twilight inside.

"Mmm," Twilight sighed as she inhaled deeply, taking in the aroma of the bread and pastries. "Those smell great. I can't wait to try them." She lead Pinkie to the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

Pinkie smiled as she sat down, letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "I didn't know what you'd like the most so I made a couple of different things I thought you might enjoy."

A purple glow brought a pair of plates to the table and opened up the basket. "I bet they all taste great," Twilight reassured her as she looked over the selection, deciding what she wanted to sample first. She'd had plenty of opportunities to try Pinkie's treats before but had never really found a favorite.

Pinkie quickly chose a snickerdoodle for herself and watched as Twilight ummed and ahhed over her choice, finally settling with a chocolate croissant.

"Well, these aren't exactly the only reason I'm here," Pinkie confessed. "I was wondering if I could hang out with you today, seeing as I have the day off and don't really have any plans."

The croissant froze in mid air, halfway to Twilight's open mouth. The unicorn blinked, closing her mouth after a moment. She regarded the earth pony with surprise, not quite sure what to make of the request. Pinkie looked back with a hopeful expression on her face.

Twilight weighed the idea for a moment. If Pinkie wanted to help, who was she to tell her no. She was a little worried Pinkie might make things worse than they already were, but if she did, Twilight could always let her know and that would be that.

Twilight shrugged. "Sure, I guess, but I'm not sure if you'll enjoy it. All I'm doing today is reorganizing the non-fiction and some other basic chores," she warned. "It'll probably be pretty boring."

To Twilight's surprise, Pinkie didn't even hesitate before she smiled and replied, "Sounds great." With that off her chest, Pinkie took a bite of her snickerdoodle and sighed.

Twilight's eyebrow rose skeptically, but she decided to ignore it and returned her attention to her croissant. She took a bite, and let out a mumble of satisfaction as she chewed.

"I'm glad you like it," Pinkie chuckled, her cookie already devoured.

Twilight swallowed, licking her lips in satisfaction. "You sure know how to bake, Pinkie. This is really good, maybe better than those treats from your last party."

"Thanks!" the earth pony giggled. "Baking always tastes better when it's made specially for someone close to you!" Pinkie helped herself to another snickerdoodle, a warm feeling in her chest at Twilight's praise.

Twilight blushed, quickly finishing her croissant. "We can have some more of these later," Twilight said as she wiped away some leftover crumbs from her mouth. "We should probably get started just in case somepony shows up."
Pinkie nodded and the two headed back into the main part of the library.

"So why are we reorganizing the non-fiction section?F" Pinkie asked.

Twilight sighed. "Cheerilee assigned a research paper for her classes yesterday and all the fillies and colts came and got their books. As you can probably guess, most of the books are now out of order."

Pinkie giggled. "At least it's better than Dash crashing again and knocking them all off the shelves."

"I guess you're right," Twilight chuckled. "These are the non-fiction shelves." She gestured to the bookcases beside the stairs. "We'll have to take them all off the shelves and arrange them by topic so we can reshelf them properly."

Pinkie nodded and the two set to work, Twilight's magic quickly getting all the books off the shelves and Pinkie arranging them by subject. The library was quiet, the two only occasionally speaking if they wanted the other's opinion on which category a book should be placed or some humorous thing popped into their head.

To Twilight's surprise Pinkie worked diligently, only pausing every now and then to leaf through a book which caught her interest, then resuming the task. Not only that, but she was almost disturbingly quiet. Normally Twilight would've expected a constant chatter from her talkative friend, if not a song about organizing books, but Pinkie was oddly reserved.

Twilight's brow furrowed. This wasn't the Pinkie she was familiar with. She wasn't complaining, as this quieter Pinkie was still fun to be around, but she had the nagging feeling something wasn't quite right.

With all the books resting in piles of varying heights on the floor, Twilight grabbed a feather duster with her magic and began to dust the shelves. She finished the first shelf quickly and turned to start the next, but stopped in her tracks. She stood and stared for a moment before she burst out laughing.

Pinkie was facing away from the shelves using her tail as a duster. Her brow was furrowed in concentration and her tongue was poking out of the side of her mouth in concentration. At Twilight's laughter she stopped and looked over.

"What?" Pinkie asked. "I couldn't find another duster, so I improvised." After a moment's deadpan, Pinkie too began to laugh.

They quickly resumed dusting, still both chuckling, and they made quick work of the shelves. That done, Twilight's horn began to glow and each pile of books quickly lifted into the air and onto the shelves once again, this time in correct order.

"Well, that's that," Twilight said with a smile as the last book slid into place.

"Thanks for letting me help, Twilight," Pinkie said as went over to the small trash can and shook the dust out of her tail.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you," Twilight replied. "You helped me work, and brought treats."

"It's no big deal," Pinkie giggled. "Helping you out was a lot of fun."

"Then I don't suppose you'd want to help me with a couple of other things I had to do today, would you?" Twilight asked.

"I'd love to," Pinkie answered, grinning from ear to ear.

"But the acting was so cheesy!" Twilight groaned, covering her face with a hoof.

"But that was what made it so good!" Pinkie shot back, barely holding back her laughter.

"Are you kidding?" Twilight asked. "The cheese factor doesn't make a movie good, it just makes it unrealistic."

"What?!" Pinkie cried in mock outrage, barely managing to suppress her smile. "Cheese is what makes everything good! How else do you explain pizza? Mozzarella sticks? Cheese curds? You could add cheese to anything and it'd be great," she declared, lightly slamming her hoof on the table.

"Oh, really?" Twilight asked skeptically. "What about cheese and cupcakes? Or even cheese and icecream?" Pinkie began to open her mouth, but Twilight cut her off. "And I won't accept cheesecake as a viable answer."

To Pinkie's merit, she only hesitated for a fraction of a second before continuing. "I still stand by my statement," she said, if somewhat less convincingly. Pinkie managed to hold her stoicism for three whole seconds before breaking down into peals of laughter, Twilight quickly joining her.

The last few hours had passed in a blur of conversation and chores. Twilight and Pinkie had cleaned nearly the whole library, and were now sitting in the kitchen enjoying more of the treats Pinkie had brought.

Once the laughter had died down a little, Twilight took another bite of her cinnamon muffin, closing her eyes and savouring the taste. "You're going to have to teach me how to make these, Pinkie," she said as she swallowed. "These are quite literally the best muffins I've ever had."

Pinkie laughed, "I thought you hated cooking, Twilight?"

"I do," Twilight replied, her mouth half full. "But these muffins are worth it." Twilight paused, eyeing Pinkie suspiciously. "You didn't put a Want-it-Need it spell on these, did you?"

Pinkie's laughter returned with a vengeance, her whole body shaking and her precariously balanced chair shaking with her. Unable to control herself, Pinkie snorted in the midst of her laughter losing her balance and toppling backwards off her chair and onto the floor, guffawing even harder. That was the last straw, and soon Twilight was laughing so hard she struggling for breath.

Once the laughter had become manageable once again, Twilight sighed and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "Thanks for coming over today, Pinkie," she said. "It was a lot of fun." She paused, her mouth open as if she wanted to say more. No words came out however, so after a second or two, she closed it.

"Don't worry about it, Twilight," Pinkie replied softly with a warm smile for Twilight. "We definitely need to do this more often. The two of us haven't really hung out much by ourselves. " The two held eye contact for a moment before Twilight looked away. Pinkie frowned, her brow furrowing.

The kitchen fell into an uncomfortable silence as Twilight finished her muffin. Pinkie stared out the window, the puzzled expression still present. She sighed, and her body sunk a little in the chair.

"Pinkie?" Twilight asked quietly, watching the pink mare intently. "Is everything okay?"

Pinkie seemed almost to catch herself, quickly turning towards Twilight and sitting up perfectly straight. "Of course it is, silly filly!" she giggled, managing to hide the shiver that ran down her spine. "Everything's just great! I got to spend the day with my friend, I live in the best town in Equestria, and I can have all the cupcakes I want!" She laughed again, absentmindedly rubbing her left foreleg.

Twilight look taken aback, the sudden change in the earth pony's demeanor surprising her. She opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind, simply managing, "O-okay."

"I'm super sorry, Twilight, but I gotta go now," Pinkie said in her usual, hyper manor. She got to her hooves and gave Twilight a hug as she continued, seemingly without breath, "I have to pick up some medicine for Gummy. Wouldn't want him to get sick. Everypony knows its never good to have a sick alligator! The whole town would be in trouble, and I can't let that happen. What kind of pony would that make me? Some sort of evil animal abuser? Fluttershy would never forgive me, not to mention nopony wants to clean up the mess! Anywho I'll see you later." She left in a blur of pink leaving a very confused Twilight in her wake.

Twilight sat for a while, staring out the window and going over Pinkie's visit in her mind. The earth pony had seemed grounded in reality for once, and it had been an enjoyable change of pace. Pinkie had still been herself, funny, energetic and unique, just not as hyper as she seemed to be on an otherwise daily basis. Twilight frowned, wondering if it was something she'd said.

Twilight sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. "Why am I just so clueless?" she muttered under her breath. Eyes downcast, she stood and quickly washed off the dishes and headed upstairs. Her eyes didn't move towards the desk, but she could distinctly picture the letter sitting there, almost like it was mocking her.

Letting out another heavy sigh, she pulled a book from the shelf and flopped onto her bed. She opened the book and began to read, but before she was even halfway through the page she was bored. With a groan she closed the book and set it aside. Instead, she pulled up her covers to her chin, turned onto her side, and stared out the window.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long. Life's busy.

Increasingly

Pinkie's eyes stayed trained on the ground as she trotted through Ponyville, deep in thought. The morning ran through her head over and over again, each and every thing she'd done and said, and all of Twilight's reactions playing out in her mind. The unicorn had seemed so happy at first, but then all of a sudden...

A shiver ran down Pinkies spine, followed by an itch in her left foreleg. She ignored it and walked on.

Pinkie's frown deepened. Something was off with Twilight, she was sure of it now. Yesterday she had thought it was just an off day for the unicorn, but her eyes were different. Normally Twilight's eyes were filled with passion, curiosity, and a love of life, but today they seemed almost... empty.

Pinkie sighed. Why hadn't she seen it sooner? She was supposed to be the Element of Laughter and she hadn't realized one of her friends was feeling so blue.

Pinkie bit her lip. Had Twilight been putting on an act the whole morning? Was she just putting up with Pinkie's company to be nice?

The earth pony's legs trembled as she trotted. Everything had seemed so great. The time had flown by and she'd almost forgotten everything that she needed to do today. But then things had fallen apart faster than she could handle. Like the flip of a switch everything changed.

She could only guess what Twilight was doing now. Probably thanking Celestia that she was gone. Pinkie kicked a rock on the path and sniffed.

A pair of raised voices broke Pinkie from her revery. She looked up and did a double take. She had walked well outside of town already, not far from Sweet Apple Acres or Fluttershy's home. Another familiar yell came from ahead, and Pinkie went to investigate.

As she came to the top of hill the source of the commotion was revealed. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were nose to nose glaring angrily at each other, taking turns shouting at each other. A flustered Fluttershy stood several feet behind them, looking as if she wanted to say something but wasn't able to get a word in edgewise.

"For pony's sake Dash! What is this, the tenth time I've asked?" Applejack growled. "You need to find someplace else you can practice!"

Dash rolled her eyes, letting out a groan. "And I've told you, there is no other place to practice. I can't practice in any major airway with commercial traffic between Ponyville and the rest of Equestria, the edges of the Everfree are a no go, and my practices have been deemed 'too dangerous' to do in any of the public flying zones!" she shot back.

"Did you ever wonder if there was a reason for that?" Applejack spat. "You nearly destroyed a good quarter of my crop today!"

"But I didn't!" Dash protested.

"Not to mention the Cutie Mark Crusaders tree house!" Applejack continued as if she hadn't heard the pegasus. "What if they'd been in there, Dash? You could've hurt them."

"I had everything under control," Dash reiterated. "It's not like I'm not good at flying."

"Horseapples, you had everything under control!" Applejack shot back. "You just crashed and took out some of the oldest trees on the farm."

"I wouldn'tve crashed at all if you hadn't distracted me," Rainbow pointed out. "You can't just yell like that when somepony's focusing, I could've been really messed up by that crash!"

Applejack snorted. "You hurt yourself plenty without my help. Remember how you got yourself in the hospital last year?"

"That wasn't my fault!" Dash protested. "The hills over there screw with the wind patterns and a stray updraft caught me off guard."

"Then how come you can practice here?" Applejack asked. "I'd reckon we have more hills here than most other places 'round Ponyville."

Dash groaned. "The trees change the wind currents here, break up all the strong gusts. Like I said, this is the only place I can practice. If I could practice someplace else, I would. You think I like being screamed at?"

"Girls!" Pinkie called, deciding to step in before things got out of hoof. She trotted down the hill and came to a stop between them. "Let's calm down a little. We're all friends here. There's no need to fight."

"This ain't any of your business, Pinkie," Applejack said dismissively.

"It is too," Pinkie protested. "We're all friends and friends aren't supposed to stay angry at each other. If you two can't figure this out on your own, it's my duty as a good friend to help you."

"Look Pinkie, just let us deal with this, okay?" Dash asked. "This is serious."

"Dash is right for once. This is my livelihood we're talkin' about. I can't risk that just cuz you're wanting to help us out."

Pinkie looked taken aback. "B-but-" she began only to stop herself, the look in the other's eyes getting the message across.

"Come on, Pinkie," Fluttershy said softly. "Let's go. They can figure this out themselves, and you need that medicine for Gummy."

Pinkie nodded, following the pegasus and leaving Applejack and Rainbow Dash to continue their argument. She sighed, ignoring the twitching in her back and the itch in her leg, and soon she and Fluttershy arrived at her cottage.

Pinkie silently followed Fluttershy into her home and waited patiently by the door as the pegasus unlocked and opened the cupboard where she kept the animal's medicine and found the bottle with Gummy's prescription.

"Thanks, Fluttershy," Pinkie said, trying to manage a smile as she took the bottle.

"Oh, it's no problem, Pinkie," Fluttershy replied. "I'm just glad I can help."

"I'll see you later." Pinkie said, turning towards the door.

"Wait," Fluttershy called, biting her lip.

"Yeah?" Pinkie asked as she stopped and turned back.

"Umm, a-are you okay?" Fluttershy asked after a moments pause. "You seem quiet, and with Applejack and Rainbow..." she trailed off, not sure of what else to say.

Pinkie paused before grinning widely. "Oh, don't you worry Fluttershy! I'm a-okay. I just stayed up late watching the twins last night and I'm a little tired. I'm not the best at staying up late, unless it's for a party. I can do nearly anything for a party."

Fluttershy's concerned expression eased slightly at Pinkie's rambling explanation and the attitude she was used to from the pink pony. "Okay, have a nice day. I'm always here if you need anything."

"You betcha!" Pinkie replied bouncing out and closing the door behind her and heading back towards Ponyville.

As soon as she was out of view, her bouncing stopped and her smile faded, her expression returning to one of brooding. Her hooves fell heavy on the path as she headed home.
Sugarcube Corner was mostly empty, the lunch rush long over. Pinkie could hear Mr. and Mrs. Cake talking in the kitchen as they worked, but didn't feel like talking. She went upstairs and to her room, closing the door behind her and flopping down on the bed.

"Twice in two days," she muttered under her breath. Pinkie buried her face into her pillow, everything she had done and said playing over in her head, like a movie specifically designed to show just how poor a friend she was. And on top of that Fluttershy had begun to worry about her.

"What's wrong with me?" she whispered into the pillow. There was no answer. With a sigh, Pinkie got up and closed the curtains, cutting off the afternoon light and shrouding her room in darkness. She returned to her bed and pulled the covers over her, hoping and praying she'd feel better in the morning.

Twilight sighed and closed her book. There was nothing else for it. She was well and truly bored. With a groan, she set aside her book and rose to her hooves. She stretched, her back popping, and trotted down the stairs.

She took a glance at her calendar. "I guess I could get my shopping done early," she mused. With a nod to herself, she grabbed her saddlebags and headed out the door. She paused halfway out the door, taking a deep breath of the fresh air and smiling. It was nice to get outside for a change.

Twilight set off at a quick trot, enjoying the chance to get her blood flowing. Soon, she slowed as the stores drew nearer, trotting from display to display depending on what caught her eye. A few stops, a new necklace, and a few new books later, she trotted towards the town square with heavier saddlebags and a brighter smile.

The daily farmer's market was still running strong, stalls still bustling with ponies bartering over produce and various other trinkets. Twilight smiled at the sounds of good-natured haggling, closing her eyes and taking in the wonderful sounds of her peaceful town.

"What the hay do you mean five bits? That's ridiculous! You usually charge me a bit, and now you want five? I mean seriously? Are you insane?"

Twilight's ears flattened. "Should've seen it coming," she muttered under her breath. Her smile gone, she followed Rainbow Dash's voice to the source of the commotion.

"Just consider it your payment for property damage," Applejack shot back, a smug grin on her face. She and Rainbow Dash were on opposite sides of her stall, bickering back and forth over the apples.

Rainbow ground her teeth, glaring daggers at Applejack. "For the last time, that was your fault!" she growled, slamming a hoof down.

Applejack opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off before she could begin. "Girls!" Twilight called, trotting up to the two. "What's going on?"

Applejack opened her mouth to reply, but Rainbow beat her to it. "I was just flying and got a little hungry. I thought an apple would be just perfect, so I trot up here and ask for one, only to find she wants me to pay five bits for just one lousy apple!" she cried.

"Oh, lousy are they?" Applejack asked, voice filled with venom. "Then if you want one it'll cost ya seven bits!"

"W-what!?" Rainbow spluttered back. "Now I know you've lost it."

"Girls, please!" Twilight snapped. Reluctantly, the two grudgingly stopped their scowls and turned their attention to the unicorn. "Rainbow, insulting her apples won't help," Twilight began, continuing before Rainbow Dash could voice the protest on her lips. "And if you two will be reasonable we can sort this all out, I'm sure of it." Rainbow snorted and looked away while Applejack raised an eyebrow in skepticism.

Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Why are you trying to charge her so much, Applejack?" she asked.

"It's like I said," Applejack replied, shooting a quick glare at the pegasus. "It's property damage. Rainbow here was practicing over my land, and I've asked her to find someplace else 'bout twenty times now, so you can bet I wasn't happy. Sure enough she goes and crashes, takin' out three of the oldest apple trees on the farm, and they ain't gonna replace themselves."

"For the millionth time," Dash grumbled. "I wouldn't have crashed at all if you hadn't yelled at me! It's your fault that I hit those trees."

"Okay Applejack," Twilight began, ignoring the pegasus for the moment. "I know those trees are important to you." Applejack nodded. "But I also know Rainbow Dash knows that, too. She hasn't ever destroyed any of them before, has she?"

Applejack scowled. "That may be well and true, but it don't excuse the fact that I've asked her not to fly around my farm. If she'd crashed ten paces further north, she'd have taken out Applebloom's and the Crusader's treehouse too," she explained. "Those three are always running around the orchard, and they get up to all sorts of mischief. If Rainbow's rocketing around not paying attention, who knows what could happen to them."

"For Celestia's sake, Applejack," Rainbow snapped before Twilight could speak. "I've been flying for years, I'm not some filly who just got her flight feathers. I don't crash without a reason, and the least likely place for me to crash is over your farm!"

"Now Rainb-" Twilight tried to start.

"Are you stupid?" Applejack asked over the unicorn's words. "You just crashed there!"

"Gir-"

"Okay, so what I crashed?" Rainbow shot back, ignoring the Twilight's attempts to talk. "I damaged some trees, but nopony got hurt!"

"I know nopony got hurt, but that doesn't mean no pony will ever get hurt! You don't think, Rainbow. You're too gosh darned reckless, and you know it." Applejack growled back.

"Am not!" Dash insisted, turning away from the earth pony, her eyes falling on her friend. "Twilight, tell her I'm right." Rainbow urged. "You know I'm careful when I fly. I know what I'm doing and nopony will get hurt."

Twilight was taken aback, caught off guard by the request.

"Twilight knows I'm right," Applejack argued. "She knows someday, you're going to crash and hurt somepony or something. Ain't that right, Twi?" Applejack asked.

"Uhh..."

"Well, Twilight?" Rainbow asked, staring impatiently at her. "Who's right?"

Twilight looked from one expectant face to the other. She swallowed. "Well, you both make good points. Dash hasn't hurt anyone, but Applejack did ask you not to fly there. But then again, you don't own all the air above your land Applejack."

"We don't want to know who made good points, Twilight." Rainbow sighed. "We want to know who's right!"

Twilight chewed her lip, looking back and forth. "I think you're both right?" Twilight offered with an awkward smile.

"We can't both be right!" Applejack and Rainbow cried out in exasperation, now both glaring at Twilight.

Twilight's ears flattened and she took a step back. "I-I..." she began, but was unable to continue.

"Come on, Twilight." Rainbow said. "I thought you were supposed to be the one with all the answers for friendship. Don't you see that Applejack is being completely stubborn and unreasonable?"

Applejack snorted. "Unreasonable? I'm surprised she can't see that you're the one who never listens to anything your friends tell you!"

"G-girls, please!" Twilight tried again, her voice wavering. "Please don't fight. We can figure this out," she said, smiling what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Just drop it, Twilight," Rainbow sighed, ruffling her feathers. "I'm out." Without any further ado, the pegasus took off, streaking back towards her home.

"We'll figure this out ourselves." Applejack said, turning away from Twilight. "It's our business in the first place."

Twilight's ears flattened but she nodded, turning away with a pit in her stomach and heading home. Her hooves drug along the ground, as if they were too heavy to even pick up.

When she got home, her saddlebags were thrown off and left on the floor, contents forgotten. Her horn flared, and with a pop the couch she kept in the basement appeared in front of her. She flopped down, exhausted. Her horn glowed, locking her door. Ponyville could survive another day without it's library, and she needed a nap.

Overwhelmingly

The sun's rays cascaded down through the branches and leaves above Twilight, spreading warmth across her coat. She took a deep breath of the country air. Strains of happy conversations and laughter floated by on the wind.

It was nice to have a change of scenery, Twilight decided. She loved her home, but it could get a little stuffy being locked away there twenty-four seven.

The tell-tale flap of wings drew her attention from her musings as Owloysius alighted beside her on the picnic blanket. He hooted happily, nuzzling Twilight briefly before taking off once again. Twilight couldn't help but smile as she returned her attention to her book.

It wasn't long before the sound of an approaching conversation between familiar voices pulled Twilight from her reading. She looked up to see Rarity and Fluttershy chatting happily as they made their way up the hill. On their backs Opal and Angel glared daggers at one another, their rides blissfully ignorant.

Rarity in the middle of some anecdote, turned from Fluttershy and caught sight of Twilight. After a moment of shock, the corners of her mouth turned up. Beaming, she drew Fluttershy's attention to Twilight who waved back. Rarity and Fluttershy sped up to a trot, ignorant of the displeasure of their passengers.

"Twilight!" Rarity exclaimed, as she reached their usual picnic site and pulled the mare into her embrace. "It's so good to see you! I was beginning to wonder if you'd given up on our pet playdates entirely."

Twilight smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to come lately, I've just been feeling under the weather."

"For so long?" Rarity gasped, giving Twilight an apprehensive glance. "That must be quite the illness, darling."

"We're just glad your feeling better," Fluttershy said, giving Twilight a reassuring squeeze.

Rarity and Fluttershy settled down on the blanket beside Twilight as Opal and Angel departed their transportation. Rarity didn't waste a moment of her friend's company, immediately filling Twilight in on all the latest happenings in town, Fluttershy occasionally chiming in.

Rarity's recollection of a particularly rude customer was cut short by the arrival of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and most importantly, the food. The earth ponies set down their baskets and exchanged greetings as Winona bounded off after Angel and Gummy, still seated on Pinkie's head, blinked. Applejack and Pinkie gave Twilight hugs as well, both reiterating their happiness at her presence.

"It just wasn't the same without you here, Twilight," Applejack said, finally releasing her from a bone-crushing hug.

"Jackie's right!" Pinkie said, adding, "It'd be like a pet playdate picnic without the food." She opened one of the baskets and whistled. "Perfect! Just like having all of us together at once."

Twilight nodded blankly, distracted by the aroma of sugar, cinnamon, and apples that reached her.

"Go on, Sugarcube," Applejack laughed, nodding towards her watering mouth. "I can see you eyeing up the food. Help yourself."

"Don't mind if I do," Twilight replied, her horn lighting to pull a danish from the basket. Taking just a second to appreciate the smell, she dug in. When the fluffy pastry practically melted in her mouth with just the perfect bit of sweetness, Twilight couldn't help but let out a groan of satisfaction. An instant later the bite was swallowed and another soon took its place.

"Careful, egghead!" Dash laughed as she arrived, swooping down and coming to a halt beside Twilight. "You might forget to taste it." Dash grabbed a cinnamon roll for herself as laughs ran through the group.

It wasn't long before Twilight had finished the danish and a few other delectables. With good food in her stomach and good friends around her, Twilight couldn't keep the smile off her face if she tried.

The friends chatted as the day went on. After they all caught up and the food had been devoured, leaving nothing but a half eaten bagel and a dusting of crumbs, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity relaxed in the shade under the tree. They gossiped and watched as Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow played a game of horseshoes.

"Are you kidding me, Dash?" Applejack's groan broke the peace of the afternoon.

"Come on, AJ. Please?" Dash implored, stomping a hoof. "I'm asking for your permission, like you wanted."

"For Pete's sake Rainbow, I said no. I don't want you crashin' around my farm like a bull in a china shop!" The two mares glared at each other, the half-finished game of horseshoes forgotten.

Pinkie fidgeted by the stake, eyes flicking back and forth between the bickering friends.

"I have to practice somewhere! Or do you just expect me to give up on my dream?" Rainbow asked, leaning forward into Applejack's face and puffing up her chest.

"Do you expect me to let my farm get destroyed?" the farmpony shot back, not backing down from Dash's aggression.

"Dashie, Jackie, please. We're all friends here." Pinkie pleaded, squeezing herself between the two. She smiled, and continued, "We just need to calm down and—"

"Just shut up, Pinkie," Dash snapped trying to brush aside the Earth pony. "This is between me and AJ."

"But—" She tried to speak, but was cut off again.

"This is serious business, Pinkie." Applejack said dismissively. "Leave it to us."

"Please, I can help!" she entreated, her voice wavering.

"I doubt it, Pinkie," Dash snorted, still glaring at Applejack. "You heard AJ, This isn't a party. This is business."

Pinkie stepped back and swallowed hard. Her jaw trembled as she stared at the ground. She could feel the tears welling up and her legs beginning to tremble. "O-okay," she stammered. "I remembered I h-have to go anyway." She turned away as the tears began to stream down her cheeks reaching a gallop before anypony else could do anything.

Twilight was shaking, her jaw set. She sat frozen between an equally stunned Rarity and Fluttershy as her brain processed the scene she had just witnessed. As at last it sunk in, her horn flared.

Rainbow Dash shook her head in confusion, staring after the departed mare. She turned to Applejack to ask something, but met a seething Twilight instead.

"What is wrong with you two?" she spat, practically frothing as her eyes boring into them. "All she was trying to do was help, and you insult her like that? She's more than just parties and pranks. You two call yourself her friends and yet you don't even see it. She can be and was very serious, and you tell her to shut up?"

Rainbow opened her mouth to protest, but Twilight didn't let a word in edgewise. "You two need to shut up and think. If you keep being so selfish and stubborn you might find yourselves with no more friends to yell at."

Twilight let that sink in, staring down the two ponies. When neither responded, she nodded. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a friend to find."

Pinkamena Diane Pie stared down at her reflection. A straight-maned mess, with red eyes, dripping nose, and tears streaming down her face stared back at her. There was the pony who showed up when everything went wrong. The pony who had to make up her own friends. The pony who ruined everything.

Her body convulsed with another sob. "Why can't I just be happy?" she choked out.

Her reflection didn't respond.

Pinkie let out another choked sob, swinging a hoof through the water half-heartedly. She watched as the reflection was dispelled, waves spreading out across the pond.

Her ear twitched as the sound of hoofsteps reached her ears. Pinkie didn't turn around. As the hooffalls drew closer the ripples in the pond stilled, the reflections gradually coming back into focus, but with a new addition.

Twilight Sparkle stood near the top of the embankment, staring down towards the water with concern. Pinkie didn't move.

Twilight took a hesitant step forward, biting her lip. She paused before, slowly closing the gap between them, at last setting herself down beside her friend.

Pinkie swallowed, her eyes flicking to her left before settling back on the water. She closed her eyes and quivered, trying and failing to suppress her tears.

Pinkie froze mid-sob as Twilight's hooves wrapped around her, letting out a strangled half hiccup in surprise. Twilight didn't say anything and squeezed Pinkie tightly to her chest. A lump rose in Pinkie's throat, as a new wave of sobs overcame her. She sank into Twilight's embrace, tucking her head into the unicorn's neck, and let it all out.

Twilight closed her eyes and exhaled. She could feel her own tears welling, but she didn't let them fall. She needed to be strong for Pinkie, like Pinkie was for her.

She rubbed Pinkie's back until she had no more tears to shed. As she finally stilled, Pinkie pulled away, sniffing. She didn't speak, just gave Twilight a small smile.

"Want a cup of tea?" Twilight offered, returning the smile as she stood. Pinkie nodded and rose unsteadily to her hooves. She leaned against Twilight for support, her steps unsteady and uncertain.

Twilight stuck to the edge of town, managing to avoid unwanted attention and arriving at Twilight's home without incident.

Twilight ushered Pinkie inside, leading her into the kitchen. Pinkie took a seat at the kitchen table while Twilight set the kettle to boil. Silence hung in the air, only disturbed by the clinking of teacups on saucers and the soft murmur of the water in the kettle.

Twilight stood by the counter as the water boiled. She stared blankly down at the counter. She jumped when the kettle finally whistled.

Twilight carefully poured the tea, bringing the two cups and saucers over to the table. She settled down opposite Pinkie and took a slow sip of her tea. Pinkie murmured a thank you as she added some milk and sugar to hers. She blew softly, letting it cool a little before tasting it.

Pinke held the cup between her hooves. She stared down into the pale liquid as the warmth slowly seeped from the porcelain into her.

"I never thanked you," Twilight said.

Pinkie frowned, but she didn't look up. "For what?" she asked softly.

"For coming over and spending time with me," Twilight answered, glancing down at her own black tea. She sighed. "For not making me talk."

A few stray tea leaves swirled around in her cup. "For just... being there for me when I needed you." Twilight exhaled, taking another sip of her tea.

"It's nothing to thank me for," Pinkie muttered. "I should've realized something was up and done something sooner."

Pinkie picked up her cup and swirled the tea. She snorted. "Some Element of Laughter I am." Tears began to flow down her cheek. "I'm supposed to keep ponies laughing and positive, and look how well I did. You were down in the dumps forever and now Rainbow Dash and Applejack are at each other's throats. For Celestia's sake, I c-can't even keep myself happy!"

Pinkie's cup shook, a wave of tea teetering on the edge of the cup. Before it could spill, a lavender glow tipped it back even. Twilight rose as her magic set the tea down on the table. She moved to Pinkie's side gently lifting Pinkie's gaze to her own.

"Our elements don't define us." Twilight insisted. "They're not traits we have to live up to and maintain, They are not the end all be all of who we are."

Pinkie sniffled, but didn't look away.

"We are the bearers, not the elements themselves. You're worthy, period. Not only if you're happy all the time, not only if you can solve all your friend's problems. There is nothing you have to prove."

Pinkie's gaze fell, but Twilight barrelled on regardless.

"Laughter is about finding a way to make it through tough times without losing yourself. That's why it's the best medicine." Twilight sat down, trying to catch Pinkie's gaze again.

"It reminds us that things are going to get better, no matter how bad things may seem. No one helps us remember that more than you." Twilight's voice drifted off.

After a moment's pause and a deep breath she added, "You reminded me that things are going to okay. I forget that sometimes, and you're pretty much the only pony who's ever been able to step in and remind me."

Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing an apologetic smile to her face "And if either of us is a bad friend it's me," She insisted. "I've been so caught up with my problems I never realized you felt like this."

Pinkie shifted, placing a hoof on Twilight's. "Don't say that, Twilight. You're a great friend."

Twilight smiled, grasping Pinkie's hoof. "Let's just make each other a promise then." Pinkie swallowed and nodded.

"Whenever we start feeling like this, we're going to find each other. We'll do something together, it doesn't matter if it's talking, just spending time together, or anything else. We'll just be there for each other when one of us needs it."

Pinkie stared into Twilight's eyes doubt racing through her. Twilight stared back unflinchingly. The doubt slowly faded, and at last Pinkie nodded, wrapping her hooves around Twilight. Tears flowed from her eyes once more, though for the first time that day, they were tears of happiness.

Author's Note

I'm bad at updating in a timely fashion. Sorry.

Maybe Not

Author's Note

This chapter has been frustrating me for a long time. At this point, I just need to publish it and move on. As always, sorry for the delay.

Maybe Not

Reflected fireworks shimmered in Twilight’s eyes as Pinkie watched her. Gone was any trace of the tired student or the mare worried about every social interaction. It was as if all the stress had been washed away, revealing the excited filly beneath.

Pinkie loved it.

Ponyville’s Spring Festival had snuck up on Pinkie. The previous year’s had been canceled after the damage from the Ursa Minor attack. The only part undisturbed had been Trixie’s magic act, and that had been a huge let down. Though Twilight would never say it, Pinkie was sure she had found the show far from the best use of her time. That impression seemed to linger. She sounded skeptical when Pinkie invited her this year, but had let her trust in Pinkie convince her to tag along.

Twilight had never seen anything like it. The only similar festival in Canterlot that could compare was the Summer Sun Celebration. Even that was made a stuffy and quiet affair by the nobles. Here, laughter assaulted her ears and bright lights battered her eyes. She was overwhelmed in all the right ways. Her head had been on a constant swivel as she drank in the sights around her. A smile never once left her face.

A burst of red light lit up the sky before quickly turning into gold and showering down from above. Pinkie let out a cheer, careful not to dislodge the stuffed alligator sitting on her head. She had made some off-hoof comment as they passed, pointing out how the prize looked a bit like Gummy. Twilight had changed course in an instant, sat down in front of the booth and placed her bits on the counter. The rules were explained to her, with emphasis on the fact that no magic was allowed. Pinkie watched from the side as she played twice, and failed spectacularly.

Pinkie had grown uncomfortable as she watched Twilight place another bit on the counter. The image of a frustrated Twilight sitting there hours later still trying to win the alligator for her, popped into Pinkie’s head. She had started forward to pat Twilight on the back, thank her for trying, and tell her she didn’t really need the plushie.

She stopped when she saw the grin on Twilight’s face. The proprietor gave Twilight the ball and he stepped back to watch. Twilight gave the ball a little toss in her hoof before launching it so accurately Pinkie would’ve been hard pressed to match. The ball crashed into the bottom right bottle first, its edges just grazing the other two. The two lighter bottles spun away as the heavier one clunked to the floor.

Twilight had simply smiled and politely asked for the alligator.

Fuming, the owner reluctantly hoofed over the prize, muttering quietly about cheating unicorns. Twilight either hadn’t heard or didn’t care. She laughed and trotted off towards the hall of mirrors, leading an inexplicable giddy Pinkie in her wake, now accompanied by a stuffed alligator.

Another boom rocked the night air, stirring another cheer from the crowd. Pinkie grinned. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect day. The crowd’s roar grew as the finale began in earnest, but Pinkie still found herself watching Twilight more than the fireworks.

It was odd to see her unicorn friend so often. She and Twilight had been good friends of course, but neither had been the other’s first choice in company. Now Twilight was the first pony Pinkie went to in her free time.

It was a pleasant change of pace.

It also made avoiding Rainbow Dash and Applejack easier. She still hadn’t forgiven either mare for what they said. That didn't sit well with Rainbow Dash who had been hounding her nonstop, trying to convince Pinkie she didn't mean it. Applejack at least seemed to understand that she just needed a bit of space.

Pinkie’s thoughts were dragged back to the fair as Twilight let out a whisper of appreciation, a particularly bombastic blast blowing her bangs back. She tore her eyes away from the impressive display to smile eagerly at Pinkie and pulled her into a tight hug.

“This is fantastic!” she yelled over the clamor of the crowd. “Nothing in Canterlot even comes close!”

“We country ponies know how to get down!” Pinkie yelled back with a grin.

Twilight laughed and Pinkie felt an inexplicable fluttering in her chest.

A roar, distinctly different from that of the crowd, drew Twilight’s attention back to the sky. An enormous orange and green dragon burst into life from the fireworks, eliciting more cheers from the ponies watching.

Pinkie’s were the only eyes that didn’t follow it as it twisted through the air, shimmering and crackling. It somehow looked better reflected in Twilight’s eyes.

"Thank you, dear!" Rarity tittered, batting her eyebrows at a young waiter as he set her salad in front of her. "This looks positively delectable." He blushed and looked away, hurriedly placing Pinkie’s food on the table before fleeing back to the safety of the kitchen. Rarity's eyes appraised his retreating figure with interest.

"He was a cute one, wasn't he?" she asked with a meaningful wiggle of her eyebrows. “Might look good in some shade of pink~!” she added, turning to a saucy smile.

"Wha?” Pinkie replied, her attention torn from the mouthful of sandwich she had been about to swallow. Rarity winced as flecks of partially chewed food rained on the table. Pinkie blinked twice, swallowed, and added, "Who?"

Rarity sighed, but gestured subtly towards the waiter in question. Pinkie turned in her seat and stared down the waiter, giving him a once over. Unimpressed, she shrugged noncommittally and returned to eating.

“Not your type, darling?" Rarity asked, turning and giving Pinkie a curious look. "Not one for shorn fetlocks and a slicked-back mane?"

Halfway through another bite, she began to reply. "Nope. I mean he looks-" Her voice trailed off as she met the withering stare Rarity was giving her. She smiled guiltily and swallowed before starting again. "I mean he looks okay, but..." She shrugged. "I'm not really sure if I have a type, honestly."

"Oh nonsense, dear. Everypony has a type." Rarity scoffed, waving a hoof dismissively at the very thought.

Pinkie shrugged. "If you say so." She raised her sandwich to her mouth again but paused. She looked to Rarity expectantly. When Rarity didn't respond she nodded and went back to eating.

Rarity shook her head but let the topic slide, filing it away for later. "Well anyway, you were telling me about your weekend? How was the festival?" she prompted, taking a bite of her salad.

Pinkie’s habitual smile widened. “It was a ton of fun! Twilight hadn’t been to one before, so I got to show her around. She was a little skeptical at first, but had a blast. It was actually pretty funny, she spent half the magic show deciding whether to take notes or just watch it," Pinkie giggled.

Rarity rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh. "That's Twilight for you," she sighed. "The eternal student."

Pinkie nodded. "It was still tons of fun. She couldn't stop talking about it at dinner. And she got a kick out of the fireworks show at the end."

"Dinner?" Rarity asked, trying to hide her growing interest at the potential gossip goldmine.

"We grabbed a bite to eat afterwards. The fireworks went pretty late and then Twilight wanted to ask them some questions about the enchantments on them. By the time we left we were both pretty hungry so we went to grab some food."

Rarity's eyes twinkled as she donned a faux face of envy. "Well that sounds like quite the date night!" she laughed. "I'm almost jealous! Did you win her a stuffed animal?"

"W-what?" Pinkie stammered, a blush growing on her cheeks.

"Well, darling, I certainly think I can guess your type. Maybe a smart, bookish, unicorn from Canterlot?"
Rarity continued unabashed. "I can see the appeal certainly! Her family is married into royalty, and she can be very cute at times. Not to mention the whole, provocative librarian image. I would've pegged you more as one for pegasi, but I guess not."

Pinkie's jaw flapped as her face grew hot. Her brain caught up with her mouth after a minute, finally jumping to her own defense. "It' not like that! Twilight and I weren't on a-a, date!"

"I mean you have been spending an awful lot of time with Twilight lately, darling. Is there something there I should know about?" Rarity teased.

"Wha-- No." Pinkie protested. "There's nothing there. Twilight and I are just--." The normally unflappable Pinkie Pie struggled to find the right words. "We went as friends. That's all."

"Oh, methinks the mare doth protest too much!" Rarity practically cackled, though she was far too sophisticated to ever be caught cackling.

Pinkie snorted and looked away. The late morning sun streamed in through the windows of the sparsely filled cafe. The lunch rush was just beginning to trickle in, taking their seats and filling the air with the mumbled sounds of other conversations.

"I mean think about it, Pinkie." Rarity mused, drawing the reluctant Pinkie back into the conversation. "How often does Twilight go out, let alone for dinner and a show?"

"I mean, not that often…” Pinkie gave her, “But that's just because she's busy!"

Rarity just smiled devilishly. "That she is, but she still made time to go out with you!" she pointed out.

Pinkie groaned, her face falling into her hooves in defeat.

"Oh don't worry darling. I'm just teasing." Rarity tittered, taking pity on the flustered earth pony. "I'm just glad to see her out and about again."

Pinkie sighed and nodded, a soft smile returning to her face. "Me too."

Rarity’s eyebrow raised at that comment but she let it slide. “On a more pleasant note, have you heard anything about the new gryphon styles? I know you have your sources on these kinds of things, Pinkie, and I absolutely need the jumpstart on the competition."

Rarity continued on about the upcoming fashion season but Pinkie was only half listening. After Rarity's teasing, she couldn't help but look at her weekend in another light. On the other rare occasions that Rarity had teased her, she had always found it more funny. Today’s hadn’t left her with any amusement, just an uneasy fluttering in her stomach. Her weekend with Twilight had just been as friends, right?

Lunch proceeded without any further mentions of Twilight, but even as she waved good-bye to Rarity, the sound of Twilight's laughter from the fireworks show lingered in Pinkie's thoughts.

She wandered through town, thinking about Rarity’s words. Her friend had just been teasing her, as friends do. There wasn’t anything really there between her and Twilight, was there?
Pinkie snorted lightly. Of course there wasn’t. She just wanted to hang out with her because Twilight had just been there when no pony else was. She just knew how to take Pinkie’s mind off her problems, bring a real smile to her face. That was why spending time with Twilight had been so great lately.

That and she had come to enjoy the way Twilight’s eyes lit up when her curiosity was piqued, some part of her added. And hear Twilight’s sweet little laughs so different from her own rough, snorting variety. And watch as her eyes darted in their sockets, scanning every last inch of whatever she looked at, accounting every detail just in case it was useful. And her rituals of tea, always prepared as Celestia did, or coffee, dark strong and simple. These were all simply things friends admired, no?

Pinkie’s steps speed up into a trot. She felt her thoughts churning, pulling at excuses and justifications for the way she felt. A familiar burning tension welled up inside her, bringing with it the compulsion to put on a manic smile and act like everything was fine.

She forced herself to slow and take a deep breath. She couldn’t let herself panic like this. She could practically hear Twilight’s voice, calmly telling her to pause and focus. She did. Why was she so worked up? If she didn’t feel anything for Twilight, why would she be so adamant and desperate for an alternative explanation? And if she did have feelings for Twilight, was it really that bad?

And like that all the anxiety and fear ebbed. Her heartbeat slowed, and her face relaxed.

Pinkie had a crush on Twilight. Somehow, that admission didn’t feel quite as momentous as it should have. It wasn’t some lightning bolt of realization, it just… was.

“Huh,” she managed, finding no better way to surmise her discovery. It was a pleasant surprise, but left her with one question. Now what?

Twilight stared up at the ceiling, pointedly ignoring the rest of the world.

“We can’t just lie here all day,” a stubborn part of her protested. “We have commitments today.”

“If I don’t see them, they don’t exist.” Twilight groaned back to herself.

“It doesn’t work that way and you know it.”

Twilight groaned louder and flipped over, burying her face into her pillow. That at least seemed to shut up her nagging side. Twilight sighed. She needed a nap, and there was no time like the present. She shifted a bit to make herself more comfortable and smiled.

Somepony knocked on the front door. Twilight groaned again, but didn’t move.

There was a slight pause before another knock followed.

Muttering under her breath about public places and the curses of living in one, Twilight trudged her way down the stairs. She put on a cookie-cutter greeting smile that didn’t quite touch her eyes before she opened the door.

The fake smile quickly turned into the real thing. “Pinkie! I wasn’t expecting to see you today. I thought you had lunch scheduled with Rarity?”

Twilight’s smile was contagious and Pinkie felt her own grow. “We had an early lunch and I didn’t have any plans for the rest of the day,” she explained. “I thought maybe you’d wanna hang out.”

“I’d love to, Pinkie but I’m just doing some last minute tidying. Spike gets home tonight and the library’s a bit of a mess,” Twilight admitted.

“I could lend an extra set of hooves and help speed things up, if you want. I really don’t mind.”

“Really? That sounds great. Come on in.”

Twilight had not done the state of the library justice. Papers were strewn all over the floor covered it unblotted ink stains. Stacks of books were piled to eye level, leaving many of the oak shelves looking abandoned. A pile of dishes was sitting precariously on the table, threatening to topple over at any moment.

Pinkie blinked. “Busy week of research then?” she asked Twilight with a laugh. The other mare blushed and nodded sheepishly. “We’d better get to work then!”

Pinkie didn’t mind the cleaning. While it hadn’t been exactly what she’d had in mind, it was a chance to spend more time with Twilight. They discussed what Spike was going to bring back from the Crystal Empire (comic books or souvenirs for his ‘horde’), Twilight’s latest research (crystal augmented magic), and more.

When the two weren’t talking, Pinkie hummed tunelessly. She didn’t think about the cute way Twilight poked her tongue out when organizing her books, or how perfect the smile on her face was when she talked about something she liked. And she certainly didn’t hang on every word Twilight spoke. At least not too much.

When the main floor of the library was finished they moved upstairs. Twilight excused herself to go clean her bathroom and Pinkie started on Twilight’s room. As she was grabbing the crumpled pieces of paper from Twilight’s desk she spotted a letter sticking out from a book. Her gaze moved from the letter to the crumpled balls of parchment. Pinkie bit her lip.

Too curious to help herself, Pinkie pulled the letter from under the book and read.

Dear Twily,

Spike arrived safe and sound yesterday and is loving it here. The Crystal Ponies are still celebrating Sombra’s defeat and Spike’s return just kicked everything back into high gear. It’s like they’re trying to make up for all the lost holidays and parades they missed in the last thousand years. There have been more feasts since you left than I saw in all my years at home! As their Prince Consort, I have to attend them all and I swear I’m going to burst if I eat another dish. You should’ve seen Spike's reaction when they pulled out all the gems for him. Don’t worry, I made sure he only had one or two. Still, it’s been nothing but smiles here. It’s a nice change of pace from changeling invasions and dark sorcerers, that’s for sure.

Unfortunately, I do have something more serious to discuss. It’s not often I personally receive correspondence from Princess Celestia after all. She always sends her best wishes when she writes to Cadence, so I found myself rather surprised when the latest letter was addressed to me.

She’s worried about you, Twilight. She says your letters have slowed down to a trickle and are painfully formal. Ever since she offered you the position of Archmage and you declined, she’s hardly heard from you. She wanted me to make sure you were okay.

I couldn’t believe it that when I read it. You’re being distant to Princess Celestia, the pony you practically worshipped for years? She offered you position as the Archmage of Equestria and you turned it down?

Is everything okay, Twilight? None of that sounds like you. My little sister best friend forever dreamed about being Archmage for years…

If you need to talk to me or need my help in any way, Sis, please tell me. I know I’m further away now, but just let me know and I’ll catch the next train down to Ponyville to see you. That’s what brothers are for, right? It’s my job to protect you, but I can only do that if you let me know what’s wrong. I know it’s a little different after the wedding fiasco, but I promise you; if you need me I will be there for you, Twily.

With all my love and hope that you’re okay,

Shining Armor

Pinkie stared at the letter in her hoof. She didn’t know what to think. Before she could even put down the letter, there was an intake of breath from the doorway behind her. Pinkie’s head whipped around to see an ashen faced Twilight staring at the letter in her hoof. Pinkie swallowed.

Twilight’s jaw clenched but she didn’t say anything. Her gaze didn’t move from the letter.

“Twilight,” Pinkie began. “I was—“

“Get out.”

Pinkie flinched, her ears flicking back and drooping. “I d-didn’t mean… I’m sorry, Twil—“

“Please. Just leave.” Twilight’s voice was carefully measured. The cold tone of forced neutrality made Pinkie’s hair stand on end. It was so different from Twilight’s usual good cheer.

“O-okay.” Pinkie couldn’t stop her voice from quavering. Bile rose in her throat and she could feel hot tears pooling in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t find the words to form either an apology or a plea for them to talk. She swallowed, her tongue dry and heavy.

Twilight refused to meet Pinkie’s gaze as she left the room. She stared unblinkingly at the letter that now lay on the floor until the front door had closed behind Pinkie.

When the sound of the door closing reached her ears, Twilight breathed. Pinkie was gone.

Why did she leave that letter out? Hadn’t it been nagging at her for months? She knew it by heart, so why hadn’t she thrown it away? And why was she getting so damn worked up about it? The letter wasn’t that special. It should’ve just been easy to reply to. Say, “I’m fine Shining Armor, just busy!” and be done with it. Why was such an easy, everyday task such a block for her?

She supposed it was just another failure on her part. She wasn’t able to put on a strong face and tell her brother she was fine. Shining would think she was ignoring him, and she’d let down another pony who cared about her.

Her anger welled up inside her. This had all been Pinkie’s fault. Everything had been fine until Twilight had seen her with the letter and all the frustration had come back.

A small part of her mind told her that she shouldn’t have snapped at Pinkie.

“She was the one who violated my privacy!” she muttered under her breath as she swatted away a crumpled letter. “So what if I kicked her out. Apologies don’t make things like that go away.”

She couldn’t get Pinkie’s expression out of her mind.

Twilight shook her head. Her eyes scanned her room for something else to focus on so her mind would cease its attack on herself. As she searched, a deep whisper in the back of her mind muttered, “Another disappointment. You seem to have a knack for letting down those who depend on you.”

Twilight flinched at the voice, closed her eyes, and took a harsh breath in. “I can’t listen to you. You’re just an image I’m conjuring up to berate myself,” she stated as calmly as she could.

“If that’s what you wish to believe, do. But back to the matter at hoof, Twilight. All she wanted to do was to talk to you. She thought she could be a good friend for you as you had for her. But you wouldn’t let her. You thought her…. Incapable.”

“No!” Twilight choked out, though there was no one else to hear her protests.

“And now she’s gone. Thrown out the door just as she was peeking in, getting a glimpse of the real Twilight Sparkle. But I suppose that’s better, isn’t it?” The voice let out a chuckle. “At least you don’t have to know that she hates you for who you really are. She’ll only hate you for not letting her in.”

Twilight shook her head, but the little voice just laughed coldly. “You’re smart enough to know when you’re lying to yourself, Twilight. Just admit it. Life is easier alone. No need to worry about others rejecting you. Just reject them yourself first.”

Her legs buckled beneath her. Tears pooled in her eyes and streamed down her face. “No, I-I don’t want to be alone.” She protested.

“You don’t want to be alone?” The voice cackled. “It sure seems otherwise. Who had to be forced into making friends? Who wanted to spend time with the Princess more than enjoying the Gala with the ponies she came with? Who locked themselves up alone in the library for a month in an effort to feel better. Just face it Twilight Sparkle. You want to be alone. You feel better when you’re alone.”

Twilight covered her ears and buried her face away but the voice continued on almost gleefully.

“You know that when you’re alone, the only person you can truly fail is yourself. No need to worry about how you endanger your ‘friends’, how you disappoint your family, or how you let down your Princess. There is no Smarty Pants Incident, no near loss to Discord, no letting the Crystal Empire down when you’re alone. When you’re alone, it’s just you and me, Twilight.”

Twilight shuddered through the silent sobs and the half-hearted protests to a voice that only she could hear, in an empty library, alone.

Less

Twilight watched motes of dust drift through the air just above her floorboards. She exhaled. Her breath sent violent swirls through the floating specs and blew away those settled on the floor. She watched as the air currents settled again and the specs began to drift calmly once more.

Twilight didn't know how long she had been there, lying on the ground. Her tears had ceased some time ago. Every muscle in her body seemed to ache, a weariness sinking into her bones. She wanted nothing more than to slip into sleep, but unconsciousness eluded her.

The voice had at least fallen silent. When Twilight ran out of energy for denials and protests, it stopped. A part of her idly wondered if it had just shut up just to save some fun for later. Leave a little fight in her to keep things interesting. Another part of her stubbornly told her to get help. Making up voices in your head that berated and attacked you was not something a healthy mind did.

Twilight ignored these parts. The majority of her mind was circling around the same set of questions. What if the voice was right? What if she was meant to be alone? Had she really done any of her friends that much good? Was she just a burden to th--

She was jarred from her thoughts as the door to her room opened.

“Twilight?” Spike called as he peered into the room from the dark hallway beyond. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light, only to widen in shock a moment later. There was silence as the young dragon processed what he saw.

Twilight closed her eyes and let out a breath of disbelief. She had forgotten about Spike. Curses in all the languages she knew, living and dead, ran through her mind. How could she have forgotten his train getting to the station? How long had he stayed there waiting for her?

“Twilight!” Spike cried, almost tripping over himself in a sprint to her side. “What happened? A-are you okay? I thought you just got caught up studying or something, I didn’t think…” Spike swallowed, his hands shaking. He took a deep breath to settle himself. “Just stay still alright? I’ll go find help!”

Twilight shook her head and placed a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m fine, Spike.” Her voice scraped against her throat and she winced. “I’m just not feeling well,” she reassured him. It was close enough to the truth.

"Not feeling well?" Spike echoed, a note of confusion and disbelief in his voice.

Twilight didn't respond. She shifted slowly and propped herself up on one foreleg. Spike hovered nervously beside her, wringing his hands.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t at the station to pick you up," Twilight sighed as she leaned herself up against the side of the bed. She avoided Spike's eyes.

“That’s no big deal, Twilight.” Spike said as he moved closer to Twilight. He placed a hand gingerly on Twilight's shoulder. “What's important is that you tell me what happened. Why were you on the floor?”

“No big deal?" Twilight snapped, her eyes flying to meet his. "You are like my little brother, Spike. There's no excuse for leaving you there like that." Twilight held the gaze for a second longer before looking away again.

"Okay, whatever," Spike said dismissively. He continued on before Twilight could protest further. "Why were you on the floor? Please--," Spike's voice cut off as he noticed the tear stains on her face. "Have you been crying?" he breathed. He shifted, trying to get a better look at Twilight's face but she turned away.

Twilight pressed her forehead against her mattress as she tried to think. Nothing believable came to her mind. “I-I don’t know,” she stammered after a few moments, still facing away from Spike.

"You don't know why you were on the floor?" Spike asked, kneeling beside her. She could tell he was struggling to stay calm. "O-or you don't know if you've been crying?"

Twilight winced. “I-I was... working on a new spell," she managed. "I guess something must've just gone wrong.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, but his voice was a bit steadier. “Twilight, I can't remember you ever having a miscast that left you... like this." He gestured expressively at her.

Twilight felt a warmth in her chest, but it immediately twisted into a sickening guilt. “I appreciate your confidence in me, Spike, but I've made plenty of stupid mistakes like this."

“I guess...” Spike said noncommittally. He shook his head and a determined look came into his eye. He moved in front of Twilight and held up a claw. “Do me a favor and follow my claw with your eyes. Keep your head still.”

Twilight couldn’t help but smile a bit at that, shifting more to face him. “So you did remember my ‘In case I get hurt’ talk."

“It's hard not to when I've heard it a million times,” Spike replied. “Now less talking more following.”

Twilight nodded and followed the dragon's instructions, despite knowing she didn't have a concussion. If it would make Spike feel a little better, she would play along.

“No trouble tracking movements,” Spike noted after a minute's examination. “And your pupils look fine." His brow furrowed as he tried to remember what else was needed. "I think that just leaves a magic test.”

Twilight nodded and lit her horn. As soon as her magic began to flow the room started to swim. With a groan, she sank back down to the ground and cut the magic off. She wrapped her forelegs around her stomach and sucked in a deep breath through her teeth.

Spike bit his lip again and ran a hand up and down Twilight’s back comfortingly. “Magical exhaustion?” he asked sympathetically.

Twilight nodded trying to ignore her throbbing horn, growing headache, and the bile rising up her throat. She sucked in another deep breath and closed her eyes. She focused her mind on her magic, careful not to channel it, but just to sense it.

She watched as her magic began to flow into a pool in her mind's eye, glimmering a soft shade of lavender against a pitch black backdrop. A frown formed on her face as the flow slowed to a trickle, then petered out entirely. She looked down at her small puddle of magic in confusion.

Twilight opened her eyes. How had her wellspring gotten so low? It would've taken hours of casting to leave her so empty. Besides, she hadn’t cast any spells tonight, had she? The only magic she remembered using today was some telekinesis for shelving books. It didn't make sense.

She shook her head and brought her attention back to the room. She’d think about it later. Right now, reassuring Spike was the priority. “I’m just a little worn out. I guess that spell really took it out of me.” Twilight tried to smile but found herself making more of a grimace.

Spike was watching her closely, chewing on his lip. “Twilight," he started, his face full of concern. "I know you think you’re okay, but I really think we should get somepony to make sure. Maybe Nurse Redheart or Doctor Tenderhooves?”

Twilight sighed and sat herself up straight. “There’s no need to go worrying them, Spike. You looked over me yourself. I’m okay. If I don’t have a concussion I doubt anything worse could’ve happened.”

Spike pressed on. “Okay, but what if… I don’t know, some magical side effect from that spell kicks in?” he asked. “Shouldn’t we at least let somepony else know, just to be safe? Rarity doesn’t live too far away, neither does Pinkie—“

“No!” Twilight snapped, her magic flaring brightly.

Spike, caught off guard by Twilight’s sudden shout, took a step back. He stared at Twilight as if she were growing another head.

Twilight cursed through her teeth as she sunk back to the floor, letting out a moan as the pain washed over her. She shut her eyes and took in shuddering breaths, trying to will the pain away.

Spike shook his head and took another step away. “That’s it, Twi. You’re not acting like yourself. I’m going to get somepony. Just stay still okay? I’ll be right back.” He scampered from the room before Twilight could say anything else.

Twilight swore as the door closed behind him, rubbing her temples with her hooves. “First he finds you lying in a heap on the floor, then you go and snap like that… Great job, Twilight,” she muttered under her breath. "Some sister you are."

Summoning her strength, she pushed herself up from the floor and back onto her hooves. Her legs shook a bit, but they supported her weight. She took a breath in and and trudged her way to the bathroom. Twilight turned on the faucets. As the water ran, she couldn't help but stare at her reflection.

The mare in the mirror looked much older than Twilight. There were deep bags under her eyes which were bloodshot. Her face was dirty except for where tears had left streaks down her face. Twilight sighed and her reflection visibly sagged. She tore her gaze away from the mirror and ducked her head under the faucet.

The cool crisp water hit her like a cart, sending a surge of energy through her veins. After a minute she pulled herself out from under the flow, breathing heavily. She flicked her wet mane from her face and then plunged back under. She repeated this two more times before reaching for a towel to dry her face. As she hung the towel back up to dry, she heard the front door close.

“Spike?” she called. "Is that you?" She couldn't think of anypony so close he could've found them that quickly.

“I’m back, Twilight,” he answered as his footsteps pounded up the stairs. They were accompanied by the sound of hoofsteps. “I got lucky,” he panted from the top of the stairs as Twilight stepped back into the hall and froze. “Pinkie was taking a walk and I ran into her like a block away!”

Twilight didn't respond. She and Pinkie stared at each other.

Spike frowned as he looked between the two ponies. He cleared his throat but got no reaction. He waved his hand between them, calling, “Hello? Equestria to Twilight and Pinkie?”

Pinkie shook her head. “Sorry, Spikey-Wikey! Twily and I just spaced out a bit.”

“Oookay?” Spike replied. He stared at them for a moment longer but let the moment drop. “I didn’t get a chance to tell her what happened yet. You want to fill her in?”

“Uh, yes,” Twilight replied automatically. “I think that’s a good idea, Spike, but do you think you could go make us some tea?”

"No problem, Twi!" Spike replied and headed back down the stairs. Neither Pinkie Pie nor Twilight moved until they heard him moving around in the kitchen.

“What happened?” Pinkie asked, still not stepping closer to Twilight. The warmth that had been in her voice when she had spoken to Spike was gone.

“It’s nothing.” Twilight replied. She let out a sigh and walked back towards her room. “It’s no big deal. Spike just worries.”

Pinkie followed Twilight into her room, stopping in the doorway. She let out a frustrated puff of air. “Twilight, in all the time I’ve known Spike, I’ve never seen him like that. I think he said something about you not getting him from the station too. What's going on?”

Twilight settled stiffly down on her bed and looked out the window. She didn’t reply.

Pinkie took a few tentative steps forward but stopped short of the bed. “Please, Twilight. I want to help. I’m your friend.”

Twilight sighed and her whole body sunk as if her breath had been the only thing holding her up. She spoke without turning. “How can you do it, Pinkie?” she asked softly, a hoof rubbing her foreleg. "I threw you out without a second thought. Friends don't do that. You were helping me and I just pushed you away. How can you come back like nothing happened?"

Pinkie let out a small laugh. It was enough to make Twilight glance towards her. Pinkie sat down on the other side of the bed with a small smile.

“Twilight, you’re such a silly filly sometimes," she chuckled. "I can’t just choose not to be your friend anymore, especially not over today." Pinkie's smile wilted, a hint of guilt creeping into her voice. "It was my fault anyway. I was the one who was snooping. You had every right to be mad." Pinkie paused for a moment before adding, "I was actually on my way over to apologize when Spike ran into me.”

All Twilight could manage in response was a quiet, "Oh." She looked away again.

Pinkie frowned but looked away too. Her gaze swept over the room, trying to find some other place to fix. Despite her best efforts, they kept settling on either Twilight or the wadded scraps of parchment that still littered the room. The bed creaked as Pinkie shifted her weight.

“So what really happened?” she asked, breaking the silence.

Twilight closed her eyes and her head sagged. After a moment, she shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. After you left, I was just so mad. At you, at myself." Twilight took a steadying breath but continued. "I just didn’t know what to do. H-have you ever been so frustrated with everything that you just felt like..." Twilight drifted off, unable to finish the question.
She didn't have to for Pinkie to understand.

"I just laid there, crying." Twilight snorted. "I completely forgot about Spike. I don't know how long he waited at the station for me before he walked home alone. Then he came upstairs and found me in a heap on the floor." She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead in an effort to stave off the coming headache. "Some sister, right?" she scoffed.

“I couldn’t exactly tell him I’d just been bawling my eyes out, wishing I’d never have to move again. So I just told him I cast some spell wrong. I'm a big enough screw up that it's no stretch," Twilight finished. She sunk forward and sunk her face into the covers. Her body began to tremble.

Pinkie shifted closer to Twilight and pulled her into a hug. Twilight resisted for a second before curling into Pinkie's embrace and burying her face in the other mare's chest. The embrace almost made everything okay.

Reluctantly, Pinkie pulled away from Twilight. She looked down at the bedspread and idly traced one of the constellation patterns as she gathered her thoughts. “Twilight," she started slowly as she gauged Twilight's reaction. "I don't want to upset you, but we need to talk about the letter." Pinkie could see Twilight's whole body stiffen but she forged on. "Why were you so upset when I read it?"

Twilight swallowed, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth was. She looked up into Pinkie's pleading eyes and exhaled. "It doesn't really make sense, even to me," she said as she looked away. "It shouldn't be that big of a deal. I just can't find the right words to reply, and every time I try it's like this weight is pressing down on my chest." Twilight's words picked up speed. "I can't breathe and nothing feels right, so I just stop and feel stupid for not being able to write a simple letter. Seeing you with the letter just..."

Twilight closed her eyes and broke off. She took a few deep breaths. "It brought it all up at once. I was having a good day and then it hit me out of the blue." Twilight ran a hoof through her mane. "I was so angry. I don't really think I was upset with you, I think I was upset with me."

Pinkie nodded and rubbed her arm up and down Twilight's back comfortingly. "Thanks for telling me, Twilight. I know it wasn't easy." She was answered with an ambiguous murmur.

The room fell quiet. Pinkie watched Twilight. Twilight had gone back to staring out the window. The whistle of a kettle rang out from downstairs, stirring Pinkie to speak.

"I don't think you really need to reply to your brother, Twilight."

The words came out simply, but their effect on Twilight was profound. She blinked and turned towards Pinkie. The unicorn stared at her friend, waiting for her to take it back. When Pinkie didn't, Twilight blinked again.

Her eyes grew distant and she echoed, "I don't need to reply?"

Twilight stilled. Her pulse began to accelerate and her stomach grew uneasy. She tried to shift away from Pinkie, but the other mare held on.

"You owe her an explanation, Twilight,” Pinkie said softly, a pained look on her face.

Twilight's breathing grew rapid. Her head spun as a thousand conversations played themselves out in her head, none of them ending well. She shook her head and stammered,“I-I can’t, Pinkie.”

“Why not?” Pinkie asked resolutely. She held Twilight steady as she spoke. “She has a right to know. She’s not only your teacher, but she’s the one who offered you the position of Archmage. She’s the one that feels like you’re distancing yourself from her."

Twilight rubbed a hoof down her face, her body trembling. “I can’t, Pinkie. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” Pinkie pressed, moving herself closer.

Twilight just covered her mouth with a hoof, closed her eyes, and shook her head. She pulled herself away from Pinkie and stood up. She stumbled over to the window where she rested her head against the cool glass.

Pinkie watched, a hoof twitching worriedly. “Can you talk to me, Twilight?" she asked quietly. "Can you tell me why you won't talk to the Princess about this? Why you turned it down?"

Twilight opened her eyes. Pinkie's reflection looked back at her in the glass. The window fogged as she sighed. “Maybe," she muttered. She turned away from the window and looked into Pinkie Pie's eyes. Something in there reassured her. "I can try," she said with more confidence.

Pinkie grinned. “That's all I— “

“Tea!” Spike called as her pushed the door open. He was carrying an overburdened tray with all the fixings for tea and a small plate of shortbread cookies. Spike set the tray down on the foot of the bed and carefully pulled himself up beside it.

“Thanks, Spike,” Twilight said as she trotted over and gave him a hug. She lit her horn to pick up the teapot but winced. Rubbing her horn, she turned sheepishly to Pinkie. “Do you mind?” she asked with a gesture towards the teapot.

Pinkie gave Twilight an odd look but poured two cups of tea, passing one with to Twilight after adding one lump of sugar and a bit of milk.

Twilight murmured her thanks and took a sip. She closed her eyes and took a moment to enjoy the comforting smell and taste as the warmth spread through her.

Pinkie dunked a piece of shortbread into her cup and took a bite. “Mmmm,” she hummed appreciatively as she chewed. "You still need to give me your recipe, Spikey!"

"You'll never convince me to part with my recipe, Pinkie," Spike laughed. "It's a Canterlot Castle secret I worked hard to... steal." Spike said with a yawn he tried to hide behind a hand, failing spectacularly.

“I think it’s bed-time, Spike.” Twilight said with a smile. “It’s been a busy evening and I think we all need a good night’s sleep.”

For once Spike didn’t argue. He nodded and let out another yawn. He walked to the door but paused in the threshold “So Pinkie’s staying the night?” he asked nervously. “Just in case?”

Twilight opened her mouth but Spike's pleading look changed her mind before she spoke. She closed her mouth and walked over to Spike, giving him a hug. “Yeah, she is."

Spike squeezed her back, murmuring, "Thanks, Twi."

The two separated and Twilight smiled. "I’ll get a place for her set up. You go to sleep.”

“M’kay,” Spike yawned. “Night, Pinkie. I’ll see you in the morning.” With a wave, he shuffled off to his room down the hall, closing the door behind him as Pinkie and Twilight wished him goodnight.
Twilight returned to the bed. The two mares sat in silence taking small sips of their drinks. When the sound of Spike’s closing door came from down the hall, Pinkie took one more sip, then spoke. “I don’t want to pressure you, Twilight. If you really can’t tell me, I’ll just drop it.”

Twilight sighed and put down her teacup. "No, you're right," she said as she rubbed her temples. “I can tell you." She took a deep breath to compose herself. “I guess I just don’t feel like I deserve to be Archmage,” she said softly. "I haven't done enough to even be considered."

Pinkie couldn't help but let out a little laugh. “You, not deserving it?” Pinkie snorted amusedly. “Come on, Twilight, you’re better at magic than anypony in Equestria except for maybe the Princesses themselves.”

“That’s not true!” Twilight protested, blushing slightly at the compliment. “The highest ranked ponies in the guard have much more experience than me, not to mention the professors at Canterlot University. They’ve all been spellcasting for longer than I've been alive.”

“Twilight, your brother was Captain of the Guard, right?” Pinkie asked. She didn't wait for an answer before continuing. “So he must've been the strongest unicorn in the guard. Who's honestly better at magic, you or your brother?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight groaned. “He’s better at combat spells and better on the fly. But I was better at some of the other schools of magic, invocations, enchantments…” Her voice drifted off.

“Twilight. Be honest with yourself," Pinkie said softly as she looked into Twilight's eyes. "You don't have to be modest for my sake."

"Okay, fine!" Twilight groaned, turning away from the pink pony. "I’m better. But just by a bit and that doesn’t mean I’m the one who should be Archmage! I have no relevant experience. I’m way too young.”

Pinkie's brow grew more furrowed. “You were mentored by Princess Celestia, and I’m betting she has a pretty good idea of how much experience you have, Twilight." She moved closer to the other mare. "You already know that, though. It seems like you know all of this. There's no way you haven't gone through all these arguments in your own head. There has to be some other reason." Pinkie grabbed Twilight's hoof comfortingly in her own. "Please tell me, Twilight.”

Twilight bit her lip, struggling with herself. “It’s just… a lot of things," she replied as she pulled her hoof away.

Pinkie pressed on, her voice growing louder. “Twilight, you need let this out. It’s eating you up! Let me help you."

Twilight's only response was a flick of her ear.

"Why won't you let yourself be Archmage, Twilight?" Pinkie dogged on determinedly, the fervor in her voice still growing. "How can I help you, If you don't tell me?" Pinkie asked, her voice gaining an edge of frustration. "Please, Twilight!"

“Because I’m just going to fail again!” Twilight choked out, a shudder running through her body.

The words echoed in the air as the room fell silent. Pinkie sat there frozen for a moment in shock. She moved to the side to get a better look at Twilight.

Tears streamed down the other mare's cheeks unimpeded. Tremors ran through her body even as she fought against them. Her breaths were ragged and uneven as her mouth formed around unspoken words. After a long moment, she managed to form the right ones.

“Because, I always fail Princess Celestia. No matter how hard I try, how hard I want to succeed, I always fail.” She whimpered as she pressed a hoof against her face.

Pinkie exhaled, her own body shaking. She reached out a hoof and placed it on Twilight's side. “How can you say that, Twilight? When have you ever let Princess Celestia down?"

Twilight snorted, a twisted grimace growing on her face. “Who charged at Nightmare Moon all on her own, thinking she could win?" she asked, her voice growing louder with each word. "Who was nearly beaten by Discord? Who made the whole town obsessed with a doll? Who couldn't stay rational at the wedding? Who couldn’t make it to the elements despite having the largest wellspring of any pony in the last seven hundred years?" Twilight spat. Her chest heaved as she tried to bring back her control.

Pinkie didn't say a word.

Twilight looked up, meeting Pinkie's eyes at last. "When Celestia gave me that test in the Crystal Empire, one for, 'me and me alone,' who wound up trapped at the top of the Crystal Palace?” she asked quietly.

Twilight saw a flicker of something there and reflexively looked away, back out the window. She couldn't watch Pinkie realize she was just a fraud. Even if it was true, seeing it in her friend's eyes would hurt. She continued somberly. "If I become Archmage, I’ll just let everyone down when they need me. I can’t do that. Especially not to Princess Celestia. She deserves better.”

The room grew quiet again and Twilight could feel Pinkie staring at her. The stillness told Twilight all she needed to know. It was all the confirmation she had feared. She felt herself tremble as her tears began to flow faster. She shook as the first sob wracked her body.

“Twilight,” Pinkie whispered at that moment, her shaking voice sending a jolt through Twilight, making her hiccup. Pinkie didn't laugh. “Oh, Twilight. No,” she said instead in a soft, wavering voice.

The bed shifted under Pinkie's weight as she scooted closer. She placed a hoof on Twilight's cheek and gently lifted Twilight's chin so their eyes met. Twilight shuddered at the touch, but didn't resist the movement.

“You are not a failure," Pinkie said softly, but with strength, as she blinked the tears out of her own eyes. "You were one who found out how to stop Nightmare Moon, and you were the one who did it. You made it through Discord’s insanity and pulled us out of it. You were the only pony who saw something was wrong at the wedding, and you found the Crystal Heart! How can you consider those failures? Whenever the odds are stacked against you, you find a way come through, to succeed.”

"What can I say, I'm lucky," Twilight said with a bitter laugh. She sniffed and went on. “I wanted to face Nightmare Moon alone. When she teleported, I flung myself after her. Alone. I was just lucky you girls game to the rescue."

Pinkie opened her mouth to argue but Twilight kept going.

"I tried to use the elements without Rainbow Dash there, without knowing what could possibly go wrong! Discord beat me. If it weren’t for Princess Celestia sending my reports back, we would still be in the chaos capital of the world." Twilight sucked in a shuddering breath. She pulled away from Pinkie and stood up.

"Lucky nothing went wrong with the elements. Lucky Celestia knew I would fail. Lucky I found Cadence in the caves. Lucky Spike was there in the Empire to save the day.” Twilight sank down against the wall. "It's all just luck," she sniffed. "I'm just the luckiest failure in Equestria."

Pinkie stared at Twilight, her expression a mix of pain and pity. “Twilight,” she breathed as she rose to her hooves. She trotted over and knelt down beside Twilight. “There isn’t anyone else who sees it like that! You’re the one pony we depend on because we know you’ll succeed. It’s just something you do!" Pinkie grabbed Twilight's hoof and squeezed, doing her best to wear a comforting smile.

"You always find a way. No one would’ve had the faintest idea how to beat Nightmare Moon without you. You were the one who figured out the memory spell that snapped us out of Discord's magic." Pinkie lifted Twilight's chin gently, trying to meet Twilight's eyes. "If you hadn’t accused the changeling queen of being an imposter, how would we have found Cadence? And who else could've found the Crystal Heart? If it wasn't for you, Sombra would've won.”

"Don't you see? It's all luck." Twilight whispered, meeting Pinkie's gaze. "What if I become Archmage, and when ponies really need me, my luck's just gone?"

“Twilight, you make your own luck." Pinkie said with a smile as she wiped a tear from Twilight's face. "You’re more prepared than anypony for almost any disaster! All those times you say we were lucky, we made it further than anypony else would've, and all because of you."

“I don’t know…” Twilight said, but her voice was a bit steadier. She sniffed and wiped a tear from her own face. "It just doesn't feel right."

Pinkie nodded, and pulled her hoof away from Twilight's face. She looked calmly into Twilight's eyes. “I can't convince you to accept the position if you really don’t want it, Twilight. But at least talk to Princess Celestia before you decide. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you're worried about letting everypony down. Tell her you're worried about letting her down. Listen to what she has to say, and then reevaluate."

Twilight bit her lip while her eyes searched Pinkie's. The other mare held her gaze even.

“O-okay,” Twilight managed as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She closed her eyes and took a breathe. When she opened then again, she gave Pinkie a weak smile. “I’ll give it a shot.”

Pinkie pulled Twilight into a hug. When they separated, Twilight swallowed and lit her horn with a wince.
A violet glow surrounded a piece of parchment, a quill and an ink bottle on her desk. They wobbled through the air but made it to Twilight intact. Twilight took another steadying breath. After a quick glance to Pinkie for support, she set the quill to paper and wrote.

Every word seemed to fight her as she wrote, but the letter slowly formed. It wasn't much, just a simple request to meet face-to-face with the Princess to discuss the position. Twilight looked down at the nearly finished letter. She took a breath and signed her name. The letter was quickly rolled up and tied with a ribbon. Twilight floated the finished letter over to her desk to be sent in the morning.

Pinkie pulled the unicorn to her chest and held Twilight in her embrace. Her chest felt light and full of warmth. It was as if the spark of joy she felt when seeing somepony had lit a fire that was dancing merrily in her chest. She had really helped someone. Not just made them laugh or smile, but truly helped them. It was like comparing a candle to a furnace.

Pinkie closed her eyes and basked in the glow. Her head settled against the side of Twilight’s. She breathed in, smelling a hint of vanilla and lilac. Her breaths grew deeper.

Twilight leaned back, her body still quivering slightly. She let more of her weight lean on Pinkie. She sank against Pinkie, who held her steady and firm.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Stay?” she asked in a small voice.

Pinkie just nodded. She pulled the other mare closer and laid down into a more comfortable position.

Twilight’s eyes drifted shut as she floated the duvet cover off the bed to cover them. It was easy to melt into the warmth of Pinkie’s embrace and let sleep wash over her, faster and more welcoming than it had seemed in weeks.

Twilight was fast asleep before she could feel the kiss on her cheek. Pinkie smiled and let her eyes close. The last thing she saw before she fell asleep was the smile on Twilight's face.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay! This chapter is a little longer than usual and was a pain in the butt to edit. Let me know if I missed anything. I actually meant to get this out last Tuesday but life got super busy over the week. Still, three weeks wait is a lot better than a year right? :twilightsheepish:

Hope you enjoy, and as always comments and feedback are appreciated.