I blame magic and the Forces of the Universe!

"Let us start! Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Melody, you are accused of starting a bar fight, severely injuring several people, drunk driving, and trying to punch one of us. What do you plead?"

"Guilty."

"Ten years in jail. Guards! Take them away!"

I interrupted. "One question. Is drinking legal?"

The rainbow colored hair judge nodded.

"Then they shouldn't be at fault. It's alcohol. You can't really control what happens with alcohol. And I see no defense attorney. So this trial wasn't fair." I said.

"Shut up." A guard told me.

"Wait. Let him speak." The blue colored hair one said.

"Nah! Go on with the case." I said. "Just sayin', alcohol causes you to do stupid stuff."

"True." The blue haired one said.

"And Octavia got pulled into this by Vinyl... So yeah... Not their fault... Yeah... My turn now, right?"

The rainbow haired one spoke. "Vinyl, Octavia, three months community service. The next case?"

I stepped up, Vinyl and Octavia leaving the room, relieved expressions on their faces.

"You are accused of stealing several hundred bits. What do you plead?"

"Is innocent bystander, or accidental dimension jumper OK? I mean, who the hell are you? What the fuck is Equestria? What's the purpose of a rubber duck? What are bits?" I asked. "I dunno. Last night I got hammered. I remember getting on Civ V... I think I won too."

A purple haired person ran through the doors. "Princess! One of my spells went crazy last night! I was practicing the teleport spell, when a massive surge of power! Discord! Chicken! Fire! Lightning!" This kept happening for a few minutes. I glanced between the purple haired figure and the other two.

"Does this happen often?" The rainbow haired one nodded. "I would feel sorry for you. Except for the fact that she's now explaining why I'm here."

"Last night I was practicing a teleportation spell I found in one of the books you sent me! It would allow me to look at other dimensions! Then a chicken on fire ran in the room, I panicked! Lightning struck! Discord was laughing! Everypony was running! Gah! What do we do? There could be an unknown entity running around Equestria murdering innocent ponies!" The girl was hyperventilating now.

"Or he could be standing here for something he didn't do?" I said, grinning. "Welp, this explains why I'm here, please let me go!"

The girl looked up and stepped towards me. "You're the one I accidentally summoned? Your similar to us, almost everything is the same... Except your teeth. I see both molars and canines, meaning your an omnivore..." The girl took a step back, and her hands started glowing purple.

"What..." I was confused. Everything going on, plus something telling me something bad was gonna happen made me cautious.

"Strange! It seems you have no magic at all!" The girls hands stopped glowing.

"Eh... Magic? Magic? As in fairy tail, myth, kinda magic? Spells and fireballs and ice? Healing and levitation? That kinda magic?" At a nod from the girl, I sighed. "Ye-"

"Celestia! Your reign will finally come to an end, and the Queen will rule!" A swarm of people wearing some kind of black armor burst in through the window. Three of them flew toward me using wings not unlike an insect, the rest splitting up and flying towards different people.

"Stay away from him!" The two guards said, rifles up.

"Weak!" One of them said, shooting the guard in the foot and kicking him in the jaw. The other guard was taken down by tackle, and repeatedly being punched in the face.

One of the things moved towards me and cut my cuffs ff using some sort of green... magic. "Thanks." I said.

"Come with me." The thing said. The armor, I realized, was actually their skin.

I went digging through my pockets again, finding what I wanted. "Nice offer. No." I punched the thing in the face as hard as I could, leaving a dent and stunning him. I used my chance to wrench the pistol from the things hand and shot it in the head. It fell towards the ground, green blood coming out of the hole.

"Get him!" The other two flew at me, shooting. I looked around for any cover, and dove behind a nearby desk, which some guards had overturned. Peeking my head over, the two were still flying at, proven as a bullet flew past my head.

"Fuck." I muttered, before jumping up, and shooting the lead on in the wing, before diving down again.

"Grenade out!" Someone near me shouted.

I crouched down, and explosion sending several things flying. Peeking up again, the two that had been after me had stopped following me. I jumped up again, and this time took aim at one of the things about to shoot a guard in the back. The bullet went through, killing the thing instantly. "Here!" A rifle was shoved into my hands, along with three extra clips.

"Thanks!" I perched the rifle on the desk much like a turret, my head barely above enough to shoot. "Thanks for the shooting lessons, grandpa." I took aim at a group of the things that had circled three guard. I put the rifle on burst, before pressing the trigger, the rifle kicked against my shoulder, and I saw one of the things fall, but I barely looked at that before firing again. Another one bit the dust. Before I could fire again, an black oval came over the wall. I had a good guess as to what it was.

"Grenade!" I got up and ran the hell outta there. The explosion made me fly forward, and I felt my body hitting something hard, before blacking out.

When I woke up, the courthouse was in ruins, and I couldn't see anyone, My body was partly under rubble, and by that i mean everything but my head. Before I could try to get out, it was lifted by a familiar purple color. "They murdered them." A rage filled voice said. A big figure towered over me, but that was all I saw before blacking out.