A Goddesses Epic Rage Quit

by Rwanda Boulevard

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 1616

Everyone knows Princess Luna. Ruler of the night, protecter of dreams, amazing gamer. One day after a long night she goes on her xbox to play for a little bit. After losing she has a lot of anger, and needless to say she dosent handle it well.

Everyones favorite gamer princess has found a one way portal after a game gone bad. What comes out is guns really big guns. Oh God this is bad.

Warning: This bit is extremely random and full of shenanagines

Published 2014-05-03 23:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-03 23:00:02 UTC

Well that escalated quickly

   Canterlot Castle is home to the regal and majestic sister princesses of Equestria, Celestia and Luna. They rule their land justly. With precision they wield their power, never using it inappropriatly or to extort in any way. One might say that these princesses are perfect. Never faltering from public image, never saying a word out of line, never doing anything to tarnish their reputation. After all if a countries rulers are weak what message does that send to hostile neighbors or old enemies. There are only four events in Equestrian history that document any instances in which one might twist dark light onto the rulers of the realm. The first was the Nightmare Moon incident, a horrible affair but was delt with appropriately. The second was the cake photos. It was small, only really gossip over a silly school news artical. If anything it only showed Celestia had a huge liking  for cake. The third was the Royal Wedding Scandal. When word got out that Celestia was beaten by the Changeling Queen and Luna was nowhere to be found, rumors streached from government over throw to Celestia dying. However; the wedding was saved and no lasting harm was done. I'm here to tell you about the fourth incident. The Magnum Oppis of chaos that even Discord would be proud of. The tale that is so buried in mystery the even those that witnessed it happened cant remember what went down. This is the account of the disaster following Princess Luna getting a gun.

   Luna was done. The whole night had been nothing but paper work, court, and organizing festivals and celebrations. Why was everybody so festive? She didn't know, her sister just told her to organize them. Apparently Celestia has no idea as of the situation of the treasury.

   Any how she was tired so she made her way from the throne room and into the royal chambers. She stood up on her hind legs leaned back and collapsed on the bed. It was a long night and she was looking forward to the day. Rolling over in her sheets she yawned and rubbed her eyes. The last remnants moon light shone through her window as the dawn swept them away.  The princess of the nights eyes closed, she  grabbed her pillow to snuggle. Sleep came to her quickly.

   Luna woke up with a start. She turned her head looking around the room convinced something had woken her up. Seeing nothing however; she set her head down on the pillow to go back to sleep. After about ten minute of laying still she noticed something. She was wide awake and was not going back to sleep anytime soon.

   With much annoyance she pulled the blankets off of her and stood up. Why does this aways happen when I'm having a good dream? She got out of her bed and the second her hooves touched the black marble she had a great idea. I can play Black Ops 2. That might help pass the time till I get tired again. She made her way over to the tv turned it on and fired up her 360. She levitated one of her controllers over to her hooves. Just for thirty minute or so then I'll head back to bed. Little did she know that things wouldnt turn out that way.

   " How moronic art thou. Retrieve the f#%&ing care package!!!". Luna screamed through her head set at her fellow xbox live players. She was infuriated that her team was loosing despite her best efforts.

   Her anger grew and grew. She shot, triple kill. She mowed down stupid campers with the dragonfire. But without the work of the other teammates she was fighting a losing battle. At the end of the match her team had lost.

   "Arrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!". The princess's horn lite up, her eyes harboring the flames of a thousand sun.

   *BOOM*

   Smoke filled the room. A giant hole was now punched through the tv due to the energy ball shot at it. Luna got up picking up her xbox and drop kicked it. She watch with satisfaction as it soared across the room, plowing through the window flying out of the tower. She then frowned at her new problem.

   " I cannot believe this. Those stupid twerps made me smash my new console. I must go to Gamestop and retrieve a new one." Luna looked at the smoking tv. " Perhaps maybe get a new television as well."

   The night princess made her way to the treasury. Anypony who passed looked at her and ran. They had come to be wary of Luna when she was in a gamer rage. Luna continued down the elegant hallways until she heard a noise down the corridor on her left. She stopped and turned around to investigate. She trotted, wondering who was making the ruckus so she could kick their plot to the moon. What she saw was not what she expected. She was standing in front of a six by six blue tunnel. It reminded her of the portals in one of her games. Another loud noise came from the portal and it popped out a glock 40.

   " This can't be real." Her curiosity grew and she levitated it up to her eyes, being careful not to aim it at her face.

   " If this is real then I should be able to.." She cocked it, flipped off the safety, and took aim at the vase at the end of the hall.

   *BANG*

    The vase exploded into a thousand pieces. The shock wave from the gun emminated through the castle. Suddenly an AR15, two an AA12, a sawed off twelve gauge, a mini gun, and a huge bag full of ammunition and grenades came through the portal. Her face full of shock twisted into an evil smile. Her eye started twitching and she let out a maniacal laugh.

   " It would seem the fun has been doubled." She took the weapons into her magical field and started to lock and load. Luna looked out the window at Canterlot.

   " The ponies will know that the princess doesn't lose." She blasted the window and jumped out. She opened her wings and flew  to the town to spread havoc and mayhem. Her rage quit hade only just begun.

   *Boom* gat gat gat gat gat gat gat

   " Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh" Ponies where running left and right. Screaming as they fled the streets. Behind the towns folk their princess was chucking grenades and shooting everything that moved. She levitated a grenade and pulled the pin.

   " Who is the loser now." She cracked. Luna lobed the grenade into a moving chariot. The driver saw the projectile and jumped out seconds before it was blown to pieces.

   Luna continued to wreck the town. Setting fire to restaurants, blowing up houses. The streets ran red with the blood of ponies slain by their ruler. At last the royal guard showed up. However; they where no match for their princess who was armed to the teeth.

   " By order of Celestia we commands that you ARGH!!" The royal guard flew back. A hole blown through his chest plate from Luna's twelve gauge. The rest of the guards lowered their spears with no other option other than to attack. Her majesty only laughed at the charging hoard. She lifted up the mini gun and screamed.

   " Say hello to my little friend." A sound like lawn mower screeched through the air as the blood of the guard was sprayed across the walls and the streets. Bullets ripped through their armor like paper.

   The blood soaked princess looked up at the sky. " Is that it, is that all you can conjure Celestia." Suddenly the clouds conjugated to gether and darkened. Lightning  courses through the clouds. Thunder shook the buildings still standing.

   " Now you show up. I was wondering when I would get to you." A white alicorn descended from the clouds her eyes glowing with righteous anger at the crimes her sister committed. Her horn glowed and fired a giant laser at her evil co. ruler.

   " Luna what have you done.  Why have you forsaken good? You have slaughtered good ponies."Celestia's tears fell like the rain that started to pour around them. Luna took off and rolled out of the way of the deadly blast. It missed her leveling the city block behind.

   " Well from my point of view the jed.., ponies are evil." She shook her head and conjured her AA 12's and started firing at her sister mid-flight.

   The princess of the sun noise dived to avoid the bullets. She spread her wings a split second before colliding with the ground. She flew back at her sister who had discarded her automatic shotguns for lack of ammo. Celestia charged a blast, aimed, and fired. The deadly bolt clipped Lunas wing but she did not falter.

   " You where the chosen one Luna it was said you would destroy the Sith not join them." Celestia looked at her injured sister with a pained expression.

   Luna began charging her horn preparing to fly straight at her.

   " Don't try It Luna your injured. I have the advantage."

   " You underestimate my power. I will destroy you, and who ever is writing this crappy dialogue." She spread her wings and charged. Her sister charged up her horn and charged.

   "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

   "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

   *BOOM*

   Then the world exploded.

   THE END.