A changeling's visit to Skyrim

Changelings didn’t require sleep to function. Something about how their minds were wired to accept and sort information, and how their bodies only needed a steady supply of ‘love energy’ to replenish themselves allowed them to continue trucking along without ever having to stop.

Normally for Stross, this was a very fortunate thing, for whenever he fell asleep or knocked into unconsciousness, whether by accident or by choice, he would be constantly bombarded with terrible nightmares. Some times it was being chased and hunted down to being burned at the stake. Even worse were memories of his failed attempts to love, where those he had chosen or fallen for, eventually trusted enough to reveal himself to, had only seen him for a monster and either ran away in terror or tried to kill him for impersonating the loved one he'd been all along. For these reasons Stross feared to sleep, because in sleep there was only pain for him.

But tonight was so much different. He was asleep, his lucid mind was aware of this much, and yet for some reason there were no bad memories, no horrible nightmares. There was only a pleasant warmth and softness that wrapped around him, accompanied by the smell of fresh mountain air and barbecued chicken. Mmm... chicken.

Unfortunately, this dream-like state had to end sometime, and Stross was reluctant to wake. Try as he might to remain in his slumber, he was slowly ripped away and brought back to the waking world. But still, the warm feeling remained with him. Stross was happy for this, he pulled it closer and nuzzled it slightly, not wanting to ever let it go. And for a few more moments, he just lay there, savoring the wonderful feeling he had upon his awakening. It felt so good, and filled him with a sense of safety and happiness.

Then, finally deciding to open his eyes, Stross began to take in his surroundings. His eyes were immediately drawn away from the generic furnishings and wooden walls of the room, and landed on what he had cuddled to his chest in his sleep, and in turn, had cuddled him right back.

It took a moment for him to process what he was seeing, but one he did, all mental floodgates broke.

“Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh, ohmygosh! She’s- and I’m- and we’re… Squeeeeeohmygosh ohmygoshohmygosh!” his mind buzzed with though before it all melted together into a whitewashed silence.

Fenora was there with him under the covers, snoring into the softer scales around his neck, hugging him as close to herself as was physically possible without fusing her skin to his shell. Stross could only smile and blush as he tried to contain his excitement. He bit into his lower lip, wincing when he drew blood with his pointy teeth, but remained ecstatic all the same.

“This is... It’s real.” He thought to himself “It's not just another dream! I'm- and she's- This is really real! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmy-”

“Hmmn…” Fenora groaned beside him as she was jostled from sleep by his jittering. “Stross? Wha’time’sit?” she slurred together in her sleepy state.

Stross couldn’t contain it anymore, he started giggling. He rubbed his cheek against the top of Fenora’s head. “Good morning Fen.” He whispered and kept hold of her. "I'm your personal snugglebug."

“Hmm, morning… m’kay.” Fenora shut her eyes, pressed her face back into Stross like a pillow and drifted off again.

And then her brain turned on.

“Wait. Stross!?” She yelped and grabbed his head in her hands, sitting bolt upright in the same motion “How’d you get in here?” she looked around the room “What am I doing in here?! Why can’t I remember…” her brain quickly pieced together the obvious “I crawled into bed with you, didn’t I?” she asked what she already knew.

“Mmm-hmm.” Stross nodded from within her tightening vise-grip.

“We didn’t have sex, did we?”

“Uhh…” Stross took too long to give a proper answer.

Fenora dropped his head onto the pillow and immediately pulled up the covers, breathing a sigh of relief a second later once she realized both she and Stross were still in their clothes, a hundred worries that had been assaulting her mind instantly vanishing.

“Fen? You alright?” Stross gently held her hand in his, any previous joy or excitement quickly fading away.

Fenora swallowed hard and tried to breathe normally before answering “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just… I’m fine. I just thought that we… you know.”

…

“Was it something I did? I'm sorry.”

Fenora looked over at the changeling sitting next to her, a bit thrown off by how guilty he sounded. “No, it wasn’t you.” she assured him and touched a hand to his shoulder “If anything, it was me. I just… I wasn’t thinking straight, last night I mean. Maybe it was the cold, or maybe- I don't know. You were already asleep, and I wanted to be with you, and well… I’m just a little lost, okay?”

“Do you want me to stop getting close to you?” Stross asked suddenly, throwing her for a loop “It’s okay if you don’t want to love me.”

“What? No! No no no!” Fenora shook him “Stross… I…" she breathed "I've been having some issues is all, and it’s just really hard for me to understand.”

"Are you okay." Stross looked at her with genuine concern, his misty blue eyes almost unblinking, showing he wanted to know more.

“I'm fine, but I’ve been having these feelings about you and I've never really felt this way about anyone before…  you see I’ve… I know what it’s supposed to mean. I should be happy to have you- and I am, but… I don’t even know if I… if I really…” Fenora struggled to find the right words, and the fact that Stross kept staring at her in dead silence the whole time didn’t help a bit.

She clenched her teeth in a growl of frustration before finally just saying what was on her mind, no matter how personal.

“Stross, I like you a lot.” she said firmly “I really, really like you. You’re so sweet and funny and nice, and ever since we’ve met I’ve felt good by just being around you!” she let out a sigh “I know you love me, you’ve shown and proven that over and over, but I’m just not sure if I feel the same. I want to love you, only I’ve never let anyone get close to me; I've never felt comfortable with it. I wanted to just take this slowly and be friends with you first, but it’s so hard to not wrap you in a big hug every time I look at you.” she looked back at him “It scares me how fast I’m falling for you, and I'm wondering if this is how things- how love is supposed to go.”

Stross was silent, averting his eyes and seemingly deep in thought.

“Stross… I know you've been hurt before, and you want someone to truly love you, to know what you are and want to be with you regardless. I would gladly be that someone. But for both our sakes, I want it to be real.” Fenora held his hands in hers, “I don’t want to end up hurting you like all the others if this-“

“Fen.” Stross interrupted her, his voice cold and even “I need to do something.” his horn lit up.

“What is it?”

“Magical cleansing.” Stross stated “This will remove any lingering magical effect on you; more specifically, any of mine that I didn’t know about.”

With his short explanation out of the way, Stross moved his horn closer to Fenora’s head. She stopped him however, backing up apprehensively from the glow around his horn, which had turned from its normal soothing red and gold to a sickly green.

“Stross, what do you mean? Did you use something on me?” Fenora asked.

Stross backed away a bit, letting the light on his horn flicker out. “I don’t know. There were times when I’ve had to use influence spells in order to win a pony’s favor, using their false feelings for me in order to survive. I’ve hated it, it always feels wrong and I almost never use it. But when I first came to Skyrim I was starving to death and you were the first person that didn’t try to hurt me. If I’ve used one on you at any point and can’t remember… if I forgot to remove it, it might have been forcing your decisions this whole time.” he looked to her with a pleading expression “Just let me do this. I don't want to love through lies anymore.”

Fenora thought about it for a short moment before giving a nod. Stross lit his horn again, bringing it towards her forehead. She met him halfway and there was a bright flash of light. Stross leant back again, watching Fenora as she rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times.

“So… you haven’t run away or attacked me. That’s good.” Stross observed “Feel any different?”

Fenora opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a rather obnoxious growl from her stomach. “Hungry.” she told him, trying to get an easy way out “I know I can’t think about anything on an empty stomach, much less relationships. I’ll let you know after breakfast if I notice any major changes.  Don’t worry about it, okay?”

She was about halfway to the door when a tug on her arm halted her advance. She looked back to see that Stross had gotten up as well, still holding onto her like she would fall away the moment he let go. “Fen. Just promise me… that no matter what happens you won’t leave me behind.” Stross said, his voice breaking slightly.

Fenora stepped back over to him, taking his hand in hers while using the other to cup his cheek and bring his gaze into hers. “Stross,” she told him gently “I already promised I wouldn't ever leave you. Love or not, I need you too much. And even if you did use some kind of changeling mind-trick on me, I couldn’t get mad at you.” she told him truthfully, much to his surprise “I’m happy when I’m with you. And after all you’ve done, I couldn’t possibly get mad over something so minor as wanting to be loved.”

"Okay..." Stross whispered softly "Okay..."

It was then that Fenora pulled him in and planted a quick kiss on his lip. It lasted less than a second, but it reassured him more than any answer she could have given.

“Come on, let’s get something to eat.” She said and dragged him out of their room.

With the use of his legs failing him and his mind still replaying that one special second over and over, Stross was in no position to argue.