A changeling's visit to Skyrim

When Stross got out of the Nightingale caves, he found that night had begun to fall on Skyrim, the sun finally setting below the trees. The tinted gradient of orange and red in the sky had almost faded out, and on the opposite side of the sky, the stars were beginning to show through. He also found to his surprise and annoyance that the Sepulcher was all the way over in the southern corner of Falkreath hold. Of course he had to wander around a bit until he found the nearest town (getting chewed up by a pack of wolves along the way, but that’s kind of beside the point.), the point was that now he was clear on the other end of Skyrim, and meanwhile Fenora and his falmer minions were all on their own until he got back to them.

Grumbling and trying to suppress his worry, he made his way out to rent a carriage trip back, knowing it was going to take all dang day... er, night.

But it was when Stross had neared the carriage that he noticed a brown fluffy thing in the distance making its way towards him. “Hold on a sec.” He told the driver as the thing got closer, allowing him to see that it was a short little dog with a very shaggy and unkempt coat.

The dog walked up to him and stopped, apparently looking him over as he wagged his tail happily.

“Aw, hey there little guy. Are you lost?” Stross baby-talked as he knelt down and gave the dog a nice scratch behind the ears.

“Ah yeah right there… right there.” a voice spoke, seemingly from the canine in front of him.

Stross gave a surprised and inquisitive stare at the tangled mess of fur with a big slobbery tongue before him. “Did… did you just talk?” he asked, sounding almost silly despite stranger things happening to him.

“What? Nah, of course not. That would be ridiculous; you’ve clearly just taken a few too many blows to the head and have finally gone completely insane, to the point that you hallucinate talking animals.” The dog said, blatant sarcasm coating every word “Yes I’m a talking dog.”

Stross leaned back a bit, raising an eyebrow and giving himself a good slap across the face. Yet the dog remained in front of him anyway. “So... are you real or not? 'Cause if you're real that's kind of weird.”

“Oh look who’s talking.” The dog replied indignantly “Skyrim has dragons, and two-legged kitty-cat people, not to mention whatever it is you are; and you think a talking dog is strange? Boy let me tell you, I haven’t even begun to show you weird.”

“Right well, was there something you needed, ‘cause I’m kinda in a hurry.” Stross said as the cart driver was motioning for him to stop wasting his time standing around.

“Well you see, you look like exactly the kind of person I need. My name is Barbas, and I’ve got a problem I need you ta help sort out.” the dog introduced himself “You see my master and I had a bit of a falling out; we had an argument that got a bit… heated.”

Muted sounds of war, slaughter, chaos and death, as well as quite another thing filled the air around the two as Barbas fixed him with a thousand-yard stare.

“And so he banished me.” Barbas continued “I would just talk to him myself, only with the barrier he put up, I can’t get within fifty feet of the place. But that’s where you come in, you just follow me to his place, and pass a message to him from me. Simple. But like I said, you seem like just the dim-witted, gullible, piece of meat for the job. What d’ ya say bucko?”

“Wait wait wait wait WAIT! Come back!” Barbas yelped as he ran alongside the carriage as fast as his stubby legs could carry him. “I didn’t mean it when I said you was stupid, help me out here!”

“Sorry buddy, but I don’t tend to listen to hallucinations.” Stross called over the side of the wagon.

“Touché bug boy, touché. Now will ya stop for a minute?” Barbas said dryly.

“I’ve got an army of minions possibly running amok in a city hours away, the woman I love is slowly dying in that same city, and somehow she and I have to save the entire word from an evil dragon tyrant together.” Stross listed off his problems “Give me one good reason to waste time helping out some dog I just met, when he didn’t even ask nicely!”

“Because if you help me, my master will grant you any wish you want!”

Stross pondered on that prospect for a moment. “Slow down a bit.” He told the driver before turning his attention to the dog now comfortably walking beside the cart “What kind of wish; do standard genie rules apply here?”

“Nope, just the one on how many wishes you get. And it can be anything you want, kid! My master Clavicus is the daedric prince of wishes and desires after all.” Barbas said with a smug smirk “You give the word and the whole world can be yours.”

Stross tapped his chin thoughtfully before asking “Is it one of those hubris things? Like what if I did wish for the world; would I just get a fancy map instead of becoming an actual ruler of the world?”

Barbas stared at him for a second in shock. “Hmm, maybe you ain’t so dumb after all.” He mumbled “I’ll admit, Clavicus does have a dark sense of humor at times, but hey, a wish is a wish. And… you already know to be careful what you wish for. So what d’ ya say, knowing the endless possibilities in store if you lend a hand…”

Stross thought on it for a second before jumping off the wagon and reaching out a hand for Barbas to shake. “You’ve got a deal, I’ll help you in exchange for one wish from your master.”

“Excellent.” Barbas said darkly as he shook Stross’s hand “EXCCELLENT! Mwa, mwa-hahahaha! Bah ha hahaha! Ahem- I mean… let’s get going shall we?”

Meanwhile in Riften.

Fenora stirred in her sleep, breathing was still painful to her, and her head throbbed with every heartbeat. She forced her eyes open to look around, but her vision was obscured by some kind of glaze that caught dim candlelight that filled the room, making that impossible.

In her mind, she tried to piece together where she was and what had happened, but the pain made it hard to focus for longer than a second. She remembered farther back in short flashes, leaving the college, meeting Karliah, facing off with Mercer, escaping the ruin…

But what then? She remembered anger, a calm anger… like frustration fighting to ignite into something far fiercer. So much of it. Why was she angry? It was like something was missing, stolen from her. But what happened?! Why couldn’t she remember!?

A particularly large throb went through her head, causing her to seize up and grit her teeth in pain.

It was then she decided she had to get up. The elf rolled onto her side, overshooting her mark and falling to the floor beside her bed. Gathering her strength, she pushed herself to her knees and looked around for something to hold herself up with.

A long black stick, which she eventually recognized as her sword scabbard, was within reaching distance… once she reached for it once, and fell over again.

With a crutch in hand she pushed herself upwards, using the wall for support as well. Once her head stopped spinning, she opened the door.

What greeted her was a pile of disjointed pale limbs attached to a pair of grotesque looking creatures that made loud wheezing noises as they slept. A short series of images returned to her mind, and recognizing the creatures as her unlikely allies she carefully stepped over them, the flaps of her duster brushing over them as she did.

Walking on her three legs half-blindly through the dark, Fenora finally reached the most daunting thing she could have faced at that moment. But she wouldn’t be stopped, the determination filling her mind and dragging her onward would see to that. Taking a deep breath as she struggled to stay upright, swaying uneasily regardless, Fenora took one step forward towards the daunting wooden obstacles.

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“How much faaaaarrrrther?” Stross groaned after the third hour of walking in circles through the woods in the dead of night.

“We’re almost there, don’t get ya panties in a twist.” Barbas said back as he sniffed a familiar tree for the fifteenth time and turned left again.

“You said that nine tiiiimmes noooooww!” Stross continued to whine.

“Gods you complain a lot; if I didn’t need ya help…” Barbas growled behind his teeth.

“Okay first off, there is a difference between complaining and whining. Knowing that difference can and will save your life.” Stross clarified, suddenly taking a sophisticated tone before dropping it just as fast. “And second… myyyy feeeeet huuuuurt!”

Barbas rolled his eyes before turning forward again, suddenly very excited at what he saw. “We’re here!” he exclaimed with a small jump for joy “Now just go on in and talk to Clavicus for me, tell him to let me in again.”

Stross looked over the rather plain looking cave entrance, there were a few barrels stacked outside, and a couple bloodstains, but nothing remarkable. There was also a distinct lack of magic wards or barriers of any kind, at least that he could see. “Why don’t you come in too?” he asked.

“Uh, because of the barrier my master set up to stop me. Doi!” Barbas chided.

“Barbas?” Stross asked as he walked up to the entrance “This is a door.”

“Exactly!” Barbas shouted and ran up to it beside Stross, giving him a glare “Do you really need me to show you the problem here?”

The changeling folded his arms, and there was silence as he waited expectantly.

Barbas sighed and faced the wooden planks unskillfully nailed together. He took a deep breath, focused his energy… and began futilely pawing and scratching at the wood, all while making the most pitiful whines imaginable.

This went on for about half a minute until Barbas decided his dignity had taken enough of a beating and he turned back to Stross. “You see!? This thing is impenetrable!” he began to pace in circles “This is why I need you, because as long as that abomination stands, I can’t-“

A click and a slow creak interrupted Barbas, and he turned around to see Stross holding the door open, motioning for him to go inside with a sweep of his hand.

“Ha-ha! You’re the best spontaneous servant I’ve ever had bug boy!” Barbas yelled victoriously before bolting inside.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Stross asked, looking around at the frozen walls and bleak stone around them.

“What’d ya mean, of course it’s the place. What’d ya expect!” Barbas said indignantly.

“I expected a temple, with some banners maybe!” Stross threw his arms out “Or maybe a few sacrificial alters, a fountain of blood and coins to signify the price of greed and want, something befitting the status of a daedric prince that grants wishes.” He gave a few examples “Or maybe a block of stone carved with a person, and the corners with the arms and legs are chipped off, to show what happens when you cut corners, or… Are you... taking notes?”

“Huh, wha-“ Barbas put his note-pad away “No. No no no… no. Anyway, since I left with half of master Clavicus’s power he can’t manifest himself too far from his shrine, so we’ll have to go to that shrine to talk to him. It should be at the end of these caves.”

Stross and Barbas walked for about another two seconds before the changeling chimed in again.

“So did that argument between you two end in like a legal divorce, or something?”

However, before Barbas could yell a snappy comeback about Stross’s hypothetical mother, they were interrupted by a large number of angry shouts and the sounds of several people charging towards them.

“There, intruders!” one of the black-robed figures shouted.

“And the dog is back! Don’t let them interrupt the ceremony!” one of the pale women joined in.

“Aw shit, we’ve got some of Clavicus’s goons to deal with. I’ll take care of this! Watch and be astounded by my awesome powers!” Barbas said as he took a battle stance “Bark! Bark bark bark, b-bar-bark bark! …Woof.”

Stross stared blankly at the dog as it turned up its nose and strutted off as though all that obnoxious barking actually accomplished something. “Yeah… you tell ‘em Barbas. So who are you guys?” he turned his attention to the cultists before surrounding him with daggers and lightning in their hands.

“We are vampires!” announced one who stepped forth.

“That explaaaaains everything.” Stross said sarcastically.

“And we’re here to meet the daedric prince of wishes, to pray to him for a cure. You shall not stop us!”

“Okay, that’s cool.” Stross shrugged “I guess we’ll wait in line.”

“Indeed, we will kill you before you ruin our chance to restore our humainit- wait, come again?” the lead vampire stopped mid-sentence, thrown for a bit of a loop.

“Yeah, you guys go on ahead. I’m just here to give Clavicus his dog back.”

“Oh, well… thank you.” the vampire told him. “Most people would have us killed on sight.”

“I will DESTROY you, you filthy, undead, blood-sucking- mmph fhur grr!” yelled an enraged Vigilant of Stendarr, who had been tied to a chair and swiftly re-gagged.

“Honestly Fjorr, why did you bring her along for this?”

“It was our anniversary!”

So with an entourage of nine repentant vampires, Stross and Barbas made their way to the end of the caverns where a large statue of Clavicus stood, holding a horned mask high with one hand, and the other outstretched to his side with nothing to rest it on. The vampires assembled before the statue while Stross and Barbas waited back a respectable distance.

“Oh lord Clavicus Vile, daedric prince of wishes and desires; we come before you now in our time of need. Please, answer our prayers.” The lead vampire said as he knelt before the stature, his companions following suit.

Patiently, yet eager for a response, they waited on their knees.

“Oi, and what d’ you blokes want now then?” a rather irritated voice came from the statue.

“Lord Vile, we wish to be cured of the curse that afflicts us.”

“Oh, well that’s easy. Draw your daggers I told you to fetch, those blades has the power to free you from this affliction.” Clavicus instructed, waiting to proceed as the men and women drew their blades. “Now trust-ith in me, the lord of wishes, and plunge thine daggers into thine gullets.”

“This ain’t gonna be good.” Barbas whispered, nudging Stross’s leg.

The vampires looked over their knives, and some more hesitantly than others, positioned the tips to their throats. Some took deep breaths, while others closed their eyes before driving the blades in without hesitation.

And then each of them fell sideways onto the floor. The two who luckily chickened out stared in horror as a slowly growing pool of blood formed around bodies of their friends.

“Right then, that’s that.” Clavicus announced with satisfaction over the vampires that lay dying before his shrine. “You two can stay cursed for all I care."

“Sweet Celestia!” Stross yelled as he shoved past the tow standing and to their fallen friends, putting his hands on the bleeding wound of the vampire nearest him, and trying to heal the man before he bled out or died from lack of air. “The fuck man, they wanted a cure, not death!” he yelled at the statue of Clavicus as blood soaked into his Nightingale gloves.

“Same difference, bug. No skin off my back if you mortals don’t think these things through.” Clavicus replied with a casual callousness.

“Good ol’ Clavicus, I had to warn people about you for a lot o’ reasons ya know, and this right here… this is reason number one.” Barbas said as he walked to the front, sitting down before the statue. “I should have warned these fellas to find help elsewhere, but I guess seein’ is belivin’ too, after all.”

“Help me get the others! Drag them in you have to!” Stross yelled to the two terrified vampires who weren’t bleeding to death.

The vampire Stross had just managed to save from death let out a strangled gasp for air. “We worshipped you! And you would trick us into killing ourselves, you’re a monster!” he spat at Clavicus.

Stross focused his magic into the palms of his hands as he moved from one patient to the next, forcing the cuts closed with his magic. Less than a minute later Stross had managed to heal the last of them at the cost of nearly all his magika reserves, and not a moment too soon as the last woman had already passed out from asphyxiation.

Each of the vampires gathered around to thank him in turn, allowing Stross to tap their life-forces enough to replenish himself somewhat, still being careful to not take too much though. Goodness knows these people would need it now.

“Come on everyone, we’ll need to find shelter before the sun comes up.” Their leader said and began to walk out of the caves.

“Hey, stop by Morthal when you get the chance. Ask for a redguard wizard named Falion, he’s cured vampires before.” Stross said, remembering his encounters with Movarth’s coven.

“Truly?” one asked, hope seeming to resonate throughout all of them at this news “Then we haven’t time to waste, let us hurry!”

“Oh well that’s just great.” Clavicus said with an implied sneer as he watched them leave “Fan-freaking-tastic! And who do I have to thank for ruining my entertainment this evening?”

“My name’s Stro-“

“Oh bah, I know who you are!” Clavicus cut him off “Stross, changeling, came from Equestria or whatever little Tia and Loony are calling their pet project nowadays. Nocturnal won’t shut up about you since she got her power back. So what do you want anyway; there has to be some reason you’re here besides being a party-pooper.”

“Actually I’m just here to give Barbas back; he says you two had a disagreement of sorts.” Stross told him.

“Oh right, Barbas, that insufferable pooch always preaching to me about right and wrong. Well you can forget it!” Clavicus shouted “Request firmly denied. Aw hell naw! Nope, nope nope… SO much nope.” Clavicus would have crossed his arms if could “And any other variations of ‘no’ you find applicable.”

Stross stared at the statue for a second, thinking of a way to change the daedric prince’s mind.

“Please?”

Clavicus stopped, not to reconsider, but rather to gawk. “No.” he said simply.

“Pretty please?”

“No!” the daedric prince repeated with more force.

“With sprinkles and a cherry?” Barbas added.

You could practically see the veins pulsing on Clavicus’s forehead.

“Alright you miserable whelps, apparently you’re not too bright, so let me hammer the point into your feeble little minds!” Clavicus thundered in annoyance “Barbas is no longer my problem. I am GLAD to be rid of him and his nonsense! I would rather be stuck in a pitiful shrine, in the back end of nowhere with nothing to do all day but twiddle my stony thumbs!” He paused to figuratively look around “Oh... I guess I’m already at that point. But I still mean it! I’m not taking that mutt back.”

“B- but…” Barbas started tearing up “Y- your my master, Clavicus. Yer a sadistic bastard, but you’re my sadistic bastard. Think of all the good times we’ve had. You’re my only friend!” he howled.

“Hmm, well… there may be a way for you to earn back your place by my side.” Clavicus said deviously “But no promises. Here’s what you have to do…”