A changeling's visit to Skyrim

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*bump**bump*

*crack*

*shatter*

Okay, Erised here. Now that I’ve properly broken through the fourth wall I can finally do this.

Ahem *In a dramatic announcer voice*

Last time, on “A changelings’ visit to Skyrim” Stross was in Equestria being pursued by the authorities when he tried to use his magic for a speedy getaway. Unfortunately for him, he bumped into Twilight Sparkle, causing his spell to overload and send him all the way across space and time into Skyrim, on the planet Nirn.

Here he was discovered alongside a band of Stormcloak rebels and was soon thrown into prison along with them by the Imperial legion; soon he’d be delivered to his execution with the rest of them. On the way, he met the legendary Dragonborn, Fenora Tandis… who was also about to be executed because no one knew who she was at the time, including herself. It looked like the end for them both, but as luck would have it, they managed to escape… while an entire town of innocent people was curb-stomped by a dragon.

Hey, I didn’t say it was a win for everyone.

Anyway, after “finding” some new clothes and gear, they were joined by an Imperial named Hadvar and a Stormcloak named Ralof who had escaped the destruction and momentarily set aside their differences to make sure their home of Riverwood wasn’t being nomed on like Helgen. Together they traveled to the small village to find that it was perfectly okay.

Seeing no reason to hold aside their differences any longer, Hadvar and Ralof began beating the living crap out of each other, much to the enjoyment of everyone. That is except for Stross and Fenora, who decided to get out of dodge.

On the way to Whiterun, Stross realized he desperately needed to feed, or else risk starving to death. But Stross could only receive nourishment from love, and despite Fenoras’ eagerness to help, he wouldn’t actually feed off her due to the nasty side effects like death and such. Though this didn’t stop him from being a complete tease for a moment.

But before the two could get into anything that would warrant a “sex tag” or “mature rating”, they were interrupted by none other than captain cock-blocker himself, M’aiq the liar. Following the cryptic advice of the mysterious khajiit, Stross ultimately decided (for whatever reason) that it would be better to build a lasting friendship with Fenora rather than not die of hunger.

After digressing through Whiterun a bit, they made it to Dragonsreach for a meeting with the Jarl to tell him of the threat of dragons killing his people. Upon hearing this, everyone took it like a big joke and they were laughed out of the room. Fortunately, the resident dragon fanboy court wizard was willing to hear them out.

And so they were sent on a task by Farengar to backtrack to Bleak falls barrow and retrieve a relic called the Dragonstone for him. When they got there, Stross let his stomach get the better of him and subsequently ended the lives of an entire group of bandits.

Stross threw a little hissy-fit over it, but Fenora told him that they were just bandits and no one cares what happens to them.

So after fighting their way through tombs filled with *deep inhale* spiders, traps, puzzles that were loaded with traps, zombies, mushrooms, and one really shouty zombie with a gigantic sword of enchanted steel, they finally found the stupid chunk of rock the nerd was looking for. But on the bright side, they also found a large amount of treasure, which they would later sell to some cat merchants in exchange for drugs.

When they returned to Dragonsreach they learned that another dragon had attacked, and if Whiterun’s western watchtower wasn’t a pile of smoldering rubble before, it certainly was now.

Wasting no time with primitive ideas like planning, preparation, or logical reasoning, the Jarl sent Stross, Fenora, and a team of ill-equipped guards to deal with the problem.

A true leader of the people right there. *cough* sarcasm *cough*

The guardsmen, following in the same mindset of their Jarl, threw caution to the wind and rushed towards the beast as soon as they saw it. Fortunately, Stross and Fenora employed the ingenious tactic known as “cover-based-shooting” as well as some general badassery, and managed to defeat the dragon before it could kill anyone that natural selection wouldn’t have taken care of anyway.

It was then that Fenora absorbed the dragon's soul, earning her the title of Dragonborn, and she wore it proudly for the world to know.

And know the world did, including the Greybeards atop the throat of the world, who gave them a call on the way back to Whiterun.  They told them to come visit them about dragons, destiny, way of the voice yadda yadda.

Or at least, that’s what they would have said if they had a decent cell service. In reality they only got a single word out, “Dovahkiin”. Presumably part of the sentence, "Dovahkiin, get up here and bring some pizza with you, our food shipment hasn't arrived and we've been forced to eat our own shoes".

So after they returned to dragonsreach and received some convenient exposition from the Jarl, our newly fledged hero Fenora and her world-hopping companion Stross made to set off on their journey. Knowing it’s up to them to save the world from being destroyed by the dragon-lord Alduin.

Let’s see what they’re up to now.

“I don’t want to save the world right now!” Fenora whined “I just want to go back home and fall asleep in my bed.”

“Then what was all that before about ‘I’ll never let innocent lives be lost while I could prevent it’?” Stross turned into her for a few second to mimic her words.

“There’s a pretty huge difference between giving everyone a heads-up, and doing all the work yourself.” she explained.

“And what about the Greybeards?” he asked as they walked away from the Jarl’s palace “They seem pretty important, it’s not like we can just ignore them forever.”

“This is true my thane, tis a great honor to be chosen for such a noble cause.” Lydia told her. She was now part of their group, as apparently slaying a dragon in Skyrim makes you a hero in the hold you slayed it in, gets you a free weapon, respect from the people, and a bodyguard/eye-candy/person who can carry heavy things for you.

“I don’t care about any of that!” Fenora snapped at them “You know why? Because I woke up yesterday, and thought how great it would be to finally get back home to High Rock. But I was stupid enough to take a shot-cut through Skyrim! Since then I’ve be thrown in jail, almost executed, attacked by bandits, attacked by the undead, roped into killing a dragon! And now I’ve been told that I’ve barely even gotten started!”

“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down;” a guard cautiously interrupted her rant “people are getting nervous.”

“They should be nervous!” Fenora yelled at him “Because I am pissed off!”

“Whoa, okay there Fen.” Stross intervened “Let’s just take it easy.” he said as gently as he could, putting his hands on her shoulders and pulling her away.

“Stross, you’ve been with me through all of this, and just having you there made it that much more bearable. But you have to see how ridiculous this is. I’ve just learned I’m dragonborn or whatever and suddenly I have the fate of the world thrown onto me.”

“I know, and I’ll stay with you through this as long as you want me to. But it’s no use getting angry about this. Let’s just take some time to relax right now; we can figure this all out tomorrow, okay?”

“Fine,” Fenora relented “let's hope the inn here serves alcoholic drinks.”

“Oh they do,” Lydia told them “finest meads in all of Whiterun, and it’s open all night.”

This brought a smile back to Fenora’s face, tired though she was. With that, the three set off for the Bannered Mare, the final rays of sun fading from the sky.

Word gets around quickly it would seem, as they reached the market district they found the people of Whiterun were throwing a party for their saviors. A good number of guards had showed up, as well as some families from the farms outside the city. Fenora would have objected, but the drinks were free, so she couldn’t really argue. Through the next few hours Lydia stayed by her side at the bar at the inn, more than once having to keep back the tide of new fans.

Stross however, didn’t mind the attention at all. The people around badgered him for attention, and for him to tell them all about the battle. They sat at the edge of their seats as he told them all about it; the waves of admiration they sent his way were overwhelming, and he couldn’t help but skim a little bit, though he had to make sure he didn’t take more than the tiniest amount, lest he cause any serious harm.

Some familiar faces were there as well, such as Ysolda, who was talking to Arcadia about a shipment of sleeping tree sap. Several members of the Companions had joined as well, congratulating the two on their victory, as well as lamenting how they wished they could have been there too. Their hopes were rekindled when Fenora told them about the dozens of other dragons that were likely still out there, and Eorlund, their blacksmith offered to make weapons for them to use; ones more suited to felling oversized monstrosities.

The party continued on for quite some time before the people started to stumble home.

Hulda gave the heroes a room for the night, and they headed up to the loft; it looked quite comfortable. There were a few small end tables with books and jugs of water on them, and several ornaments on the walls. But strangely, there was only one bed.

“Well, that lady has a sense of humor on her.”

“Should we get another room?” Fenora asked.

“Well, it shouldn’t be a problem for me;" Stross told her “changelings don’t sleep, we just hibernate for a couple hours every few months. So unless you and Lydia want to… you know… snuggle up together.” he said seductively with a big stupid grin.

Fenora’s face turned incredibly red.

“Actually, I’m not all that tired.” Lydia chimed in “So I’ll just watch her while she sleeps.” she joined in on the joke.

“I’m too tired to care anymore.” Fenora said, flopping down face first into her pillow while Stross and Lydia shared a laugh. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alright, I’m going to wander around a bit.” Stross said before leaving the room.

Lydia took a seat on the other side of the room and grabbed a book. And before you ask, yes, it was that book. Those of you who’ve played the game know the one I’m talking about.

Fenora awoke the next morning feeling well rested, her mind sharp and focused and her body recharged. She got out of bed and stretched her limbs, as she did, several metal objects clattered to the floor. In hindsight she should have taken off her weapons before going to sleep, but she didn’t care that much, because she was ready to face whatever challenge the day presented her with. Walking out of the inn, she found that the same could not be said for the rest of Whiterun.

The streets were much more desolate than they normally were. Most of the city was still in bed today, sleeping off a massive hangover from last night. As the elf looked out into the streets, she spotted a black blur fly by and signaled for him to stop.

“Oh hey! You’re finally up.” Stross greeted her “I’m just doing house-calls for Arcadia, getting this medication to her customers.” he gestured to the crate he was carrying. “So how are you?”

“I feel great actually.” Fenora said “When you’re done with those deliveries we can head to Ivarstead; it’s the easiest way to reach the Greybeards apparently. By the way, have you seen Lydia; she wasn’t in the room when I woke up.”

“Oh, she’s helping with my rounds.”

As he said that, Lydia caught up to him, panting slightly.

“Okay, I got the last of the bottles to the Companions. I also picked up a few more tasks to complete.” she handed him a small list.

“Wait… tasks?” Fenora questioned.

Stross quickly became nervous, and started to fidget with his hands. “Oh, yeah. Apparently everyone in town has some problem or another, and I… sort of… offered to help them?” he explained slowly as he avoided eye contact.

“Give me the list.” Fenora stated blankly.

“Wh- what?”

“Give me. The list.”

He reluctantly complied, handing her the sheets of paper with well over two dozen items between them. Fenora quietly skimmed down the list, her expression unchanging until she calmly folded it up and placed it in her pocket.

“It’s good that none of these are urgent, because we won’t be getting any of them done anytime soon.” Fenora said as she walked towards the entrance of town “We’ve got way bigger problems ahead than a stolen family sword, or an annoying bard. Meet me at the gate when you’re done, we leave for Ivarstead no later than noon.”

“As you wish my thane.”

“Aye-aye captain bossy-pants.” Stross said cheerfully, giving a salute.

The trio made their way past the farms at the edge of town, Stross still rubbing his cheek where Fenora had slapped him.

Not long after they crossed the river, they came across a large stone tower with a bridge that spanned the river further down. The map identified it as Valtheim Towers. If they kept following the path around the mountain, it would eventually lead them right to Ivarstead.

However, their progress was impeded by a lone figure in their path. He wore gleaming black armor bearing no insignia of allegiance. Around him lay the bodies of multiple foes, bandits and wildlife made up the bulk of the carnage, yet some appeared to be travelers or merchants. They weren’t sure if he was another bandit, a mercenary, or maybe something different altogether.

“Did you do all this?” Fenora asked him as the group approached.

He didn’t answer.

“Hey, I’m talking to you. Did you kill these people?”

He remained silent. Having given up on the armored statue of a man, Fenora motioned back to the others to move forward, but she was suddenly stopped by the very same knight.

“None shall pass.” he stated through his helmet.

“What?” Fenora asked.

“None shall pass.” the armored man repeated.

“I’m the dragonborn… for some reason. I’m on a quest to save Tamriel.” Fenora explained.

“I move… for no man.”

Fenora glared at him for calling her a guy. “Stand aside, we must get though here.” Fenora told him.

“Then, you shall die.”

The bandit then drew his sword and took several haphazardly swings at Fenora, who dodged out of the way easily. Stross and Lydia readied their own weapons and spells, but it seemed Fenora didn’t require help. Drawing one of her swords, she parried another strike and cleanly severed on of the man’s arms.

“Victory is mine, now stand aside.” she said to him.

“Tis but a scratch!” he answered defiantly.

“Your arm’s off!”

“I’ve had worse.” he took another swing at her.

This continued for several more minutes until Fenora had relieved the foolish man of the rest of his limbs, yet he still believed he could win, even going so far as to call her a pansy for not wishing to continue.

“Fine, we’ll call it a draw.” she said before sheathing her sword and continuing on, Lydia following her.

Stross lingered for a second, seeming to take pity on the black-armored idiot even as he yelled profanities after his friends. Grabbing one of his severed limbs, he dragged it over and magically fused the flesh and bone, reattaching the arm to its stump.

“Oy! I don’t need help from the likes of you!” the man screamed “The black knight always triumphs! Let me at her, I’ll chew her legs off!”

“You make me sad.” Stross told him flatly before putting a small health potion in front of him and walking away.

“He definitely had it coming… but don’t you think you went a little far, my thane?” Lydia asked as the three of them walked up a series of switch-backs.

“Not even a little.” Fenora replied coldly “Bandits, raiders, slavers… I hate them all. Anyone who would destroy innocent lives deserves to be punished.” she let out a sigh, realizing the path her mind wandered down “I’m sorry, but it’s all kind of personal for me.”

“How so? If you don’t mind me asking.” Stross tried to coax the details from her.

“It was years ago, I was barely more than a child.” Fenora remembered back “A band of raiders attacked the town where I lived. When I saw them coming… I didn’t think about anyone else. My family, my friends… I was so scared I just ran away as fast as I could. I didn't even warn them.” tears welled up in her eyes “I didn’t stay to help them and they all died.”

Stross put an arm around her and pulled her closer as she wiped the tears away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was so painful for you.”

“That’s alright, I’ve come to terms with it more or less. It still hurts to think about, but all I can do to make up for my mistakes is to do better in the future. Right?”

“Trying to be better? That's been my plan for life.” Stross said as he nuzzled her neck.

Lydia giggled as she walked beside them “You two are so cute together.”