Sunday night, Twilight thought to herself, looking out her window. The calm before the storm. Tomorrow, she would start learning how to be a princess. Tomorrow, every eye would be upon her. She sighed, resting her head on her forelegs. She was in her old room, the one she'd lived in with Spike before heading to Ponyville. She smiled. The last time she had been here, she'd been a nervous wreck on behalf of a princess. Now she was a nervous wreck at becoming one. With a small sigh, she looked over at her bed. It had the same sheets as when she'd left, albeit cleaned. Princess Celestia must have had them washed in advance. She chuckled quietly, which soon turned into nervous, booming laughter as the events of the last few years of her life were released into the stillness of the room. Laughter turned into crying and she straightened up, walking again to her window and assuming the same position. Tears streamed down her muzzle, and she recalled how very big the world was, and how insignificant she had previously been. Being an Element of Harmony wasn't very important in the grand scheme of things. She was still a normal pony most of the time. This was different. She had to become somepony else. She had to stop being herself. She didn't want that. She didn't want to lose everything she had worked so hard to become. And most importantly, she didn't want to lose her friends. She let out a choked sob, burying her face in her hooves. Her heart trembled, and her body rocked back and forth.
"I don't wanna... I don't wanna..." she cried out, breathing heavily. She stumbled over to the bed, curling up on it, feeling the familiar, soft, well-worn cheap cotton of the lilac bedclothes she'd picked out when she was seven. She could still smell herself on them, the scents of her favorite soap and shampoo, and her favorite tea, making up the essence of who she was exactly. She hugged her pillow close, crying into it, releasing now all her fears, and her insecurities, and the indescribable feeling of loneliness she had felt during the long nights since her coronation, with Spike gone back home to Ponyville to get some of his things and say his extended goodbyes. She hadn't had the privilege of doing so. Half an hour passed, and Twilight sat up, eyes red, sniffling, and her muzzle stained dark.
"Twilight?" a gentle voice spoke through the darkness. Twilight started, looking up into the sympathetic face of Celestia. With an awkward leap, Twilight hurried to bow.
"Princess! I wasn't expecting you!" Twilight sniffled. Celestia smiled kindly.
"There's no need for bowing, Twilight, or calling me Princess." Twilight blushed, standing.
"I'm sorry. Force of habit," Twilight said nervously, sniffling again. Celestia gestured to the bed.
"Would you like me to tell you a story, my little pony?" she asked in the most gentle, soothing voice she could muster. Twilight blushed even harder.
"You'd do that? For me?"
"Of course. You are very special to me, Twilight. You always have been." Celestia used her magic to pull back the now-rumpled blankets. Twilight laid down, curling up slightly. Celestia smiled warmly, tucking Twilight in, then bringing out Smarty Pants. Twilight's face lit up like a small filly's and she grabbed the doll, burying her muzzle in it.
"Oh thank you!" she exclaimed. Celestia chuckled.
"That would be Spike's doing," she replied. Twilight held Smarty Pants close, snuggling down into her soft bed.
"There you are. Would you like to hear the story now?" Celestia asked, smoothing Twilight's mane. Twilight nodded, resisting the urge to rub her head against Celestia's hoof, the way she'd done to her mother when she was small. Celestia sat down on the side of the bed, rubbing small circles on Twilight's back. Twilight hummed contently, closing her eyes. Celestia cleared her throat and began.
"Once upon a time, in the bright city of Manehattan, there was a little filly. This filly was sweet, and kind, and went out of her way to do whatever she could for others. But there was a problem. This filly was treated extremely badly by her peers and her family. She was called every name you could think of, and her parents ignored her, unless they were screaming at her. This filly felt so lost, and she was sad all the time. She started thinking about... removing herself from the world. She thought about dying. She thought about how relieved she would finally be when she was gone. So one night, when her parents were out, she took a kitchen knife, and started to cut herself. She began doing it whenever she could."
"Princess?" Twilight asked, horrified. She clung tighter to Smarty Pants and burrowed herself deeper into her blankets.
"Twilight, this is very important, do you understand?" Upon receiving a nod, she continued. "This filly was brave, and she decided to write a letter to her beloved princess. But the princess never received it. She was never able to give that filly the help she needed. That filly committed suicide. The princess read the letter three months later, where it had been sitting all along on her desk."
Twilight felt sick. Celestia's gaze had turned distant, but she could see worlds of sadness in her teacher's eyes.
"Twilight do you know why I never got that letter?" Celestia asked, her voice cold, and monotonous.
"No..." Twilight said nervously.
"I never got that letter because I didn't understand what I do now. I didn't understand that a ruler was not just a figure. A ruler is a friend. A ruler is someone a nation trusts to help them with their problems. A ruler is the one of the most prominent examples of something you've been studying- the Magic of Friendship." Twilight stared at Celestia. That hadn't been what she'd expected at all.
"But I-"
"I know what you thought, Twilight. And that's why I'm here." Celestia lovingly stroked Twilight's mane again, a bittersweet smile lighting up her features. "I'm here to tell you that no matter what Twilight, you will be a great princess, because you understand friendship. You understand how important connections between ponies are." Twilight nodded. She could see now that the world being opened to her, while still an intimidating thing, was just an extension of the world she already knew. She could do it because all she was doing was being herself, but on a much larger scale. Her eyes closed softly, and with her heart at ease, she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep. Celestia watched for a few moments, and a single tear fell down her cheek. Her horn slowly lit up, and she vanished, leaving Twilight tucked in like the little filly that she could've protected before.
Author's Note
Just a little thing.
