"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I screamed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the figure screamed

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I continued, while shooting my body upwards. I guess I sat up a little to quickly, because my face intercepted with whoever was staring over me at what feels like 1000 mph. The result? I'm unconscious again. . .

The next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital with a splitting headache. I tried to sit up when a felt someone gently push me back onto my pillow.

"Now you just hold on a minute fella, don't go gettin scared on me again." came an oddly familiar voice. I attempted to open my eyes, but something crusty was keeping them shut. It took me a while to realize it was my own blood.

"Can somebody please get me a towel?" I asked in a coarse voice. Jesus, how long was I unconscious? I feel like I haven't spoken in days. I heard the sound of hurried footsteps all around me, but they sounded strange. I'm not sure how, but they just didn't sound like footsteps.

"Oooh goodie, he's waking up!" came a squeaky high energy voice.

"Why is that voice familiar" I wondered.

"Ugh, the poor thing looks dreadful, there mus be something we can do." came a soft, but a little snooty voice that, once again, was incredibly familiar.

"Wh-wh-what if he's here to hurt us?" asked the sweetest most un-mistakable voice that I have ever heard. I began to get an idea as to what's going on.

"Ok, ok. Joke's over, how'd I get to an MLP Panel? While I appreciate the thought, I really didn't consent to this." I called out while attempting to regain my voice.

"He sounds like a monster." exclaimed that sweet voice once again.

"Wow, great Fluttershy impression. A for effort, now help me clean my face off!" I yelled out, getting angry that nobody was trying to help me.

"EEEEEPPPP!" yelled/squealed the voice again. Well, that definitely is Fluttershy. "How does he know my name Twilight?"

"I don't know, but we should help him. He obviously has some knowledge that we don't." chimed in the absolutely beautiful and unmistakable voice of the one and only Twilight Sparkle. This is getting really weird, really fast.

I felt a warm towel slowly placed over my head. Oh God, this is how I die!

"Get the Hell away from me!" I screamed. I felt the hands (or hooves. . whatever) holding the towel flinch for a moment, but they slowly rubbed the towel across my face gently removing the dirt and blood out of my eyes.

"It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here." the Twilight-like voice assured me. Something about her voice made me believe her. Even after all the events of the past two days, being attacked, and taken to a strange place without my consent, I actually felt relaxed and safe. I don't know how she did it, but I was completely calm. That is, until I opened my eyes.

With the blood now gone, I could see clearly. Sitting directly across the room from me were a bunch of ponies. Now, I don't mean the ponies you can see at a petting zoo, or ride when you're a kid. I mean, the ponies. The mane six! I began to freak out again when an orange hoof was gently placed above my mouth silencing my scream.

"Now slow down fella, we don't need you gettin' all worked up again." said Applejack.

"You. . you.. you're. . you're. . . "I began to stutter.

"The name's Applejack." she said with an 'as-a-matter-o'-fact' tone. "And that there's Rarity, Pinkiepie, Rainbow Dash, and Spike. The one hiding behind that plant over there is Fluttershy." I looked to where she pointed and saw a tiny pink tail poke out from behind a fern in the corner.

"Hi," said the fern "I'm Fluttershy." How adorable is that? I began to turn my attention back towards Applejack when a pair of purple hooves grabbed my by the cheeks and forced my head to look in the opposite direction.

"Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Who are you? Where are you from? What's your favorite food? How did you get here? Did Princess Celestia send you? What's wrong with your hooves? What's wrong with your face? What are you exactly?" said the overly excited purple pony.

"Woah, slow down there Twilight, let the poor feller rest. He's been through a lot." said Applejack sweetly but sternly. I was beginning to feel dizzy again. How is it possible to be in Equestria. This place is fictional, it shouldn't exist, and yet here I am. The ponies aren't even scared of me. Have they seen a human before? Am I not the first person to travel to Equestria? I have to be dreaming, I just gotta wake myself up, that's all. I looked around the room for anything to put my body into shock and wake up. I couldn't find anything. "Damn children's show!" I thought to myself. Why can't there be any dangerous tools I could use to snap out of this. I mean, come on, It's a hospital and I cant even find a measly scalpel. That's when I got the idea.

"Hey Rarity." I called out.

"Yes Darling? What would you like?" she asked ever so sweetly. The fact that she was so nice made what I was about to do all the more difficult because I knew it would hurt her. . and me.
"Your outfit is atrocious!" I said plainly. I couldn't tell from her face whether or not I hurt her. She simply stood up and straightened her gown, walked over towards me, and gave me the biggest slap I have ever recieved.

"OOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!" I yelled, I'm definitely not dreaming. "I'm sorry Rarity, I just had to test something. You're outfit really is lovely." All the kind words in the world couldn't help what just happened though. I could feel my eye begin to swell up like a beach ball. I haven't been awake in Equestria for more than five minutes and already I have wound up in the hospital and attacked by one of the more docile ponies. At this rate, I'll be dead by nightfall.

"Well looks like someone is finally awake." said one of the nurses cheerfully as she walked into the room. "Terribly sorry about the bed size, however we've never had anyone quite as large as you come through here." she said with a slight giggle. It was then that I noticed that both my arms and both my legs were dangling off the sides of the bed almost to the floor. I probably looked absolutely ridiculous.

"The good news is you have no permanent damage and your vitals are fantastic." the nurse continued "The bad news is, we ran all out of lollipops. I'm sorry, I know how much all our patients look forward to a nice treat after a visit to the doctors."

"Its no problem really, thank you." I said, however what I was thinking is more along the lines of "Are you fucking serious? That's considered bad news to you? Do you have any idea the Hell that I live through everyday, and your pissed about a missing lollipop? Fuck You!" Of course I felt ashamed for thinking such things, but it's truly the way I felt.

"Anyway," exclaimed the nurse "you are free to go whenever you would like."

"This can't be right, I felt the pain when I hit my head, I had to have fractured my skull. There is no way that I healed this quickly." I tried to explain to the nurse, but she was already out the door.

"What are you talking about?" asked Rainbow Dash "You took way longer than expected to heal. We've been here for almost two hours. It's been soooo borring."

"Two hours? I guess it makes sense, nobody in the show stays injured for long. Maybe the healing process is accelerated here." I thought to myself. "Any way, time for some answers."

"Let's get going!" I called out to the girls. I was focused on finding out how the hell I got here. Standing up off the bed, I felt a nice comfortable breeze in the room. It felt amazing.

Is this what the weather in Ponyville is like all the time?" I wondered "Good job Rainbow Dash!" It never dawned on me why I felt so free and unrestricted until I heard the fern exclaim once agin.

"That's a strange place for his horn to be."

Author's Note

Looks like Andy's in Equestria. Honestly, I'm writing plot as I go along. I'm looking forward to seeing how this story plays out.