A Song of Pony and Changeling, Book 1: Games Ponies Play

Featherweight

Featherweight huddled down in his cloak. The winds were high and it was beginning to spit snow.

“Make sure you watch, Featherweight.” Twilight Sparkle whispered in his ear. “Shining Armor will be watching, and he’ll know if you look away.”

“Yes.” Featherweight whimpered. It was dreadfully cold, and it’d only be growing colder. He looked up at Shining Armor, his father, with a slight smile on his face. Shining Armor, though, didn’t return the look. It wasn’t a very happy day to begin with. Two of the crystal guard ponies appeared on the horizon, a third figure between them.

“Where did we find this one again?” Shining Armor growled, eyeing the third, limp figure keenly.

“She was just south of the shield, ranting about some nonsense or another.” Time Turner grumbled. The cold had to be wracking his old bones like mad.

“Some nonsense?” Shining Armor arched an eyebrow at the old maester. “Sometimes nonsense makes perfect sense. What was she saying?” Under Shining’s gruff glare, Time Turner seemed to wither a little. He grumbled once more before gathering his robes around him.

“She was spouting words about the Wendigo, saying they’ve returned.”

“Nonsense, then…” Shining Armor turned to look at the prisoner once more, though his expression was more dark. “Crystal Arrow.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You have Cobalt?”

“Right here.” Crystal Arrow hefted the massive greatsword, moving to stand next to Shining Armor. They were silent as the two guards struggled to drag the offending pony closer towards them. A thought struck Featherweight, though, and he turned to look up at Twilight.

“Why must she die?”

“Because,” Trixie stepped forth, cutting Flash Sentry off. “The shields must always be maintained. Any pony who makes their pledge to the Shadowbolts serves for life. To desert is to die.”

“But why does father have to be the one to do it?” Featherweight inquired once again. This time, Shining Armor himself answered.

“Because, boy, the one who passes judgement ought to be the one to enforce it.” Shining reached a hoof out to ruffle his mane, making Featherweight giggle a little. His father was always kind and approachable if nothing else. Seeing him so grim was concerning. To say nothing of what was happening later on that day. Featherweight fell silent, standing next to his sisters.

Trixie, the eldest. Twilight, Shining Armor’s bastard daughter. Flash Sentry, who wasn’t Shining Armor’s son, but rather his thrall from the Hay Isles. And then there was Featherweight, the youngest save for his younger sister and baby brother. But they had remained in Crystalfell to prepare for the Solari entourage. He also had an older sister, but she wasn’t cut out for this sort of thing.

After what felt like forever, the two guard ponies finally hauled the third before them. She shivered, and it looked as if she had been pretty well roughed up. Shining Armor and Crystal Arrow approached her, and the solid wooden block before her.

“You know what your crime is?” Shining Armor asked her, standing tall over the whimpering mare.

“I know what I saw.” The pony whimpered, looking fearfully between Shining Armor and Crystal Arrow. Cobalt, Shining Armor’s massive Eternium steel sword, stood about as tall as a pony when sheathed. Shining Armor just continued to look down at the cowering pony for a long while. After many tense moments, he jerked his head towards the wooden block.

“Face your death like a pony of the Shadowbolts. And at least go quietly.”

“Please,” The pony whimpered. “Tell my family. I’m no coward.”

“Shut it.” One of the guards kicked her, eliciting a loud yelp and sending her skidding towards the block. That had cowed her into silence, and she let the two guards put her neck on the block. Shining Armor’s horn glowed, and Crystal Arrow turned his sword sideways. Featherweight watched, mystified, as Cobalt slid forth from its sheath.

Eternium steel was neigh-indestructible, a product of the shattered Eternity Kingdom, well off to the East across the Stormy Seas. Featherweight remembered the stories Time Turner told of the old Eternity Empire. Their swords were forged of the rare Eternium, which existed only in legend now. Well, legend and the remnants in the form of these mystical blades. The sword, he knew, was as cold as ice and sharper than any other. Shining Armor let him hold Cobalt once. The massive blade, as long as a pony was, could shear through most anything. Shining Armor now hefted the cold blue blade, laying its tip on the ground and holding the hilt in front of his face.

“Winter Wrap-up is Coming.”

“We must first survive the Winter.” Crystal Arrow echoed. It was the saying of their land, of the Crystal Lands. There was a moment of silence as the pony they had captured whimpered up at them.

“I know what I saw.”

Shining Armor glared down at her for a few long moments before speaking slowly and solemnly. His words were nearly carried away on the wind, making Featherweight lean in to hear.

“In the name of Celestia of the house Solari, first of her name... Princess of Equestria and protector of the realm. I, Shining Armor of the house Sparkle, Warden of the Crystal Lands, do sentence you to die.”

The blade caught the morning light, flashing brilliantly as Shining Armor raised it above his head. Time seemed to slow as the blade fell, winking with the sun off its cold, blue blade. Featherweight made his father proud, and watched as the razor edge caught the deserter pony by the neck. Without slowing even a bit, the blade sheared through her neck, her head falling to the cold ground along with the last of her lifeblood. Her body slumped to the side, and Shining Armor hefted his sword once more.

“Her watch is ended.” He said quietly. “And now she lays with her brothers and sisters of the Shadowbolts.”

There was a silence after that. Featherweight couldn’t have guessed it, but that would be the day he changed a little. Trixie laid a hoof on his head, ruffling his mane slightly. “You did good.” His eldest sister smiled. “Father’s proud of you, I’m sure.” Featherweight watched as Shining Armor passed off the sword to Crystal Rain, who wiped the small bit of blood off on his cloak before sheathing the blade.

“Come on, all of you.” He grumbled. “We’ve got to get back to the castle. You forget, we’re playing host to the Apples and the Solari today.”

“Is the Princess coming?” Featherweight inquired, following on the tail of his father’s cloak.

“She’s on her way, yes.” Trixie answered. “But she’s a few days away. Meanwhile, we have Big Macintosh and Braeburn, along with their guards, to entertain.”

“The Halfpony?” Featherweight perked up. He had heard stories of Braeburn Apple, who was supposedly stunted from birth. There were many tales of his jovial attitude, quick wit, and boisterous behaviour.

“Indeed.” Flash Sentry sneered. “We’ll play host to them until the Princess herself arrives, along with Princess Applejack and their whole family.”

“What of Bon Bon and Rainbow Dash? The rest of the Solari family?”

“Bon Bon and Rainbow Dash are not coming. It’s just Princess Celestia and the Apples closest to Princess Applejack.” Trixie sighed. “We invited them, but apparently Celestia didn’t want to wait. She said her visit was urgent.”

“And I want to know what this is all about.” Shining Armor sighed. “Meanwhile, let’s get back to Crystalfell. We have the Halfpony and Big Macintosh to ‘entertain.’”

“About that!” A crystal guardpony trotted up to them from the path, panting heavily. “We just received a raven. The Princess’ entourage arrives this afternoon.”

“Well they made good time across the fork. I suppose Mr. Cake allowed them by without much of a hassle.” Shining Armor shook his head. “Come, let’s hurry back.”

“There’s something else, milord.” The guard leaned close to whisper into Shining Armor’s ear, and he frowned a little.

“Let me see. I’ll not believe it until I do.” The guard nodded and turned away. Their party left quickly, leaving two guard ponies with the body of the deserter. Featherweight looked over his shoulder as they began lifting her body, cloak and all. He turned back to the road before them, the path back to Crystalfell and his home.

“Down there.” The guard pony pointed across one of the bridges they needed to mount, and down in the ravine.

“Is that… No way.” Shining Armor frowned and strode forth, sliding a short ways down the ravine. All of his sons and daughters followed, approaching what looked like a large, heaping pile of sticks. The first thing Featherweight noticed aside from the sticks was the smell. It was disgusting, like rotting hay.

“A Timberwolf?” Trixie asked, standing next to the pile. “I thought they had all died, or at the very least they were North of the Shield.”

“They ought to be.” Shining Armor grumbled. His horn glowed as he plucked an antler from the Timberwolf’s neck. “Poor beast ran afoul of a deer, looks like. Pity. We’ll leave it for the scavengers.” Shining Armor turned to leave, but Twilight lurched forth.

“Father.” She called out, stopping him. “Look. She had pups.”

“Hmm?” Shining Armor looked back as Twilight hoisted five writhing bundles of twigs, each of them sporting tiny glowing eyes. Featherweight saw with a small amount of horror that they were miniature canines, with quadrupedal legs, swept-back ears, and long, pointy snouts. “Drown the beasts.”

“With all due respect,” Trixie nodded to each one in turn. “There are five wolves, and you have five children. A Timberwolf for the house of Sparkle. It’s fitting.” Shining Armor glared at Trixie, and then back to Twilight.

“They’re yours to raise. You’ll feed them, train them, walk them and if they die you’ll bury them. They are your responsibility. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Trixie nodded, even as Twilight hovered one of the pups to him. Featherweight caught another of the twig-like bundles, his eyes wide with wonder at the little beast in his grip.

“Save the other two for Scootaloo, Babs, and Pound.” Shining Armor turned back to the path. “Your sisters will do the same for their Timberwolves.”

“Oh.” Twilight gasped as she levitated a sixth bundle up. It was markedly smaller than any of the other five, and white. It looked as if it were made from the branches of an aspen tree.

“What do you know,” Flash Sentry chuckled. “The odd one out, and the runt of the litter. A fitting match for the Bastard of Sparkle.” Twilight glared at him, but looked back to the small white timberwolf fondly.

“That’s yours, Twilight.” Shining Armor called over his withers. “Raise it well.”

Timberwolf pups in tow, the party made their way back to Crystalfell.

Braeburn, The Halfpony

The whore gasped as she came up for breath, even as Braeburn chuckled down at her. “Ah tell ya, nothin’ beats a Crystal whore.”

“Are there better whores where you come from, milord? In Canterlot?”

“Better,” Braeburn grunted, hauling the curvacious mare further up his body so he could suckle at her neck. “But more smelly. And cold. You Crystal gals are more warm than I remember.” He chuckled and wiggled further down, his lips kissing wetly down towards her teats, nestled above her heated crotch.

“I always wanted to go to Canterlot.” The whore whimpered as Braeburn found his way to her tits. He suckled happily, moving from one to the other. His stunted stallionhood swelled up once more, standing up from his body like a miniature stump of a once-great tree. Braeburn had been stunted from birth, when he had killed his mother passing into the world. Granny Smith had never forgiven him for it, but he had come into his own. While his brother Big Macintosh was the fighter and glorious knight that he could never be, and Applejack was as beautiful as he could never hope to achieve, he had the brains of them all.

“Trust me, my dear.” Braeburn chuckled from between her massive, wobbly tits. “You don’t want to go to Canterlot."

The door burst open in a cloud of dust and splinters.

“Brother.” Big Macintosh himself, looking magnificent in his shining plate armor with a pure white cloak hanging over his flanks. He respectfully averted his eyes, smiling as if he half-expected to catch Braeburn at the tit of a whore. “You may want to hurry up. Applejack and Celestia will arrive today, and the Sparkles are feasting us.”

“I’ve enough of a feast here.” Braeburn scowled. “And since when was Celestia going to make it today? I thought they were a few days away.”

“Y’ know Celestia, th’ big drunken git. She needed t’ come ‘s soon as she could. Now hurry up an’ finish, ya need ta be there when they show.”

“Could take some time.” Braeburn gave a kiss to the whore’s clitoris, smiling as he waved his stunted cock at Big Mac.

“Ah figured as much.” Big Mac kicked the door open the rest of the way, smiling as a small clique of whores swept into the room, giggling. They fell on Braeburn, all tits and exposed marehoods. “So ah brought ya a present.”

“Can always count on you, brother!” Braeburn called out as the door closed, leaving him with a giggling harem of Crystal whores.

Shining Armor, Lord of the Crystal Lands

Shining Armor glanced sideways as Cadance swept up beside him. “My wife,” He smiled and nuzzled her neck affectionately. “I hope this isn’t as stressful as I think it is.”

“Doubly so.” Cadance returned the gesture affectionately, sparing a smile for her children. “I thought dealing with Princess Celestia and Princess Applejack would be enough. But now you’re bringing Timberwolves home from an execution? An execution, mind you, that Featherweight ought not to have gone to.” Cadance ruffled Featherweight’s mane lovingly, though Shining Armor didn’t miss the tone of her voice.

“He’s a colt of ten. Nearly a stallion. If he’s not exposed to it now, then when?” Shining Armor countered. “He’ll be a fully-grown Sparkle soon. And should Trixie be unable to fulfill her duties, it’ll be him to rule Crystalfell when I die.”

“I don’t want to rule Crystalfell.” Featherweight complained. “I want to be a knight, just like Crystal Arrow.”

“No you don’t,” Crystal Arrow spoke up from Shining Armor’s side. “It’s a boring life, being a knight. Not as much glory as you’d think there is.”

“Still,” Featherweight grumbled, clutching his timberwolf in his foreleg. “I want to be one.”

“Should you so desire,” Shining Armor kissed his youngest colt on the head. “You can have it.” He glanced up, spotting a wave from one of the crystal guards atop the Crystalfell Keep’s wall. “They’re here.” He straightened up, checking that his tunic and leggings were straight. “On your best behavior, everypony. I’ve not seen Princess Celestia since the rebellion.”

“Just as well,” Cadance grumbled. “I hear tell she’s gone downhill since becoming Princess of Equestria.” She cast a glance at Braeburn and Big Macintosh, who had arrived earlier that week in advance of the Royal Entourage. Big Macintosh looked regal in his armor, with the glittering white Princessguard cape. Braeburn looked drunk, with ruffled hair and unkempt clothes.

“Hush now.” Shining Armor silenced her with a quick nip, smiling at the gate as it began to rise. When the gate was fully open, a train of carriages entered, drawn by regal-looking guard ponies in full metal armor. Behind the carriages came an entire unit of the City Watch, gold cloaks loyal to House Solari, but under the pay of House Apple. Shining Armor didn’t watch them, though. He instead watched as the carriage door was kicked open, and Princess Celestia emerged. As soon as she stepped down from the carriage, Shining Armor and all of his family members, everypony in attendance, bowed deeply.

“Enough of the pleasantries, Shining.” Celestia beamed and clapped him on the shoulder. “You salty old bastard, it’s good to see you again.” They embraced warmly, Celestia holding him tight. The last time Shining Armor had seen Celestia, she had been regal. She wore her armor around a barrel chest, and her magic was powerful enough to swing a warhammer the size of a pony’s head around with blinding speed on the battlefield. Now, it looked like the Princess’ lifestyle on the throne in Canterlot had worn on her. Her gut nearly burst from the tunic, and her mane wasn’t half as vibrant as it used to be.

They had fought side-by-side in the rebellion against Discord, the Mad King. When they had quashed House Draconequus, it was Celestia and the Solari who had taken the throne. Not Shining Armor and the Sparkles. Back then, Shining Armor thought it the wise thing to do. Now, seeing the way the throne suited Celestia, he was beginning to have his doubts.

“Cadance,” Celestia broke the hug with Shining to gingerly kiss Cadance on either cheek. “You still look beautiful.”

“Thank you, Princess.” Cadance smiled back at her.

“And these are your children?” Celestia beamed at the rest of Shining’s family, expecting an introduction.

“Aye. Trixie, the eldest.” Shining began to go down the line, pointing out each one in turn. “She’ll rule Crystalfell on my death. Then there’s Flash Sentry, my thrall from the Hay Islands.”

“You’re Cranky Doodle’s son, ain’chya?” Celestia glared at the unassuming pegasus. “Your father’s a treacherous old tart. I’m glad Shining Armor brought you home as his price of rebellion. Shining’s raised you right. I can tell. And this… This is your bastard, innit?” Celestia grinned at Twilight, who locked her jaw tight.

“Aye. My bastard, Twilight Crystal.”

“Good girl.” Celestia nudged Twilight’s chin. “You’re a fighter, I can tell. I might just have my Diamond Tiara take a turn with you in the yard. Well, maybe iffen she were a year or two older. Right then, the next one.”

“Babs, my eldest daughter.” Shining continued, smiling despite Celestia’s gruff words to Flash Sentry and Twilight. “And this is Featherweight, my second-youngest son.”

“Tiny little thing, aintchya?” Celestia grinned and ruffled Featherweight’s mane nevertheless. The timberwolf in his hooves snapped at Celestia, drawing a full-bellied guffaw from the princess. “I heard you’d found some Timberwolf pups! Glad t’ see they’re not all dead. You raise that pup right, you hear?”

“Yes, Princess.” Featherweight beamed, his mane ruffled.

“This here’s Scootaloo, my youngest daughter.” Shining Armor moved on. “And Pound, my youngest son.” The little pegasus colt could hardly stand on his own, and he leaned heavily against Cadance’s side, looking up at the imposing figure of Celestia with wide eyes.

“Right then.” Celestia clapped her hooves. “I’ve seen yers, now you see mine. You know my wife, Applejack.” The rest of the Royal Family emerged from the carriage, led by Princess Applejack. She wore a flowing gown of Apple Red, hemmed with gold that glimmered faintly in the sunlight. She smiled and gave Shining a cursory kiss to his cheek, followed by a quick hug to Cadance. “Our eldest, Diamond Tiara.” The princess-to-be emerged next, albeit with a slight scowl on her lips. Shining could guess the young princess didn’t take kindly to sharing a cramped carriage with her fat mother.

“Wipe that look off yer face, damnit.” Celestia cursed at Diamond Tiara. “Say hello to Shining Armor properly.”

“M’lord,” Diamond Tiara bowed to Shining Armor, a forced smile on her lips. “I’m honored to be welcomed to your home.”

“The Royal Family is always welcome here.” Shining smiled and ruffled Diamond Tiara’s mane a little. He looked up as the last two emerged.

“And my next two youngest, Applebloom and Silver Spoon. Right, that’s the lot. Enough of this ceremony bullocks, I want to see her, Shining Armor.”

“Right.” Shining sighed and cast a sideways glance to Cadance. “The crypts are this way.”

“About damn time. Applejack, go, start the feast. Shining and I will be along after we pay our respects.” Shining led Celestia away before the rest of the procession had even entered. They crossed the yard and entered the dark Crypt, striking up a couple of torches near the entrance to light the steep stairwell.

“‘S been too long, Shining. Too damn long since I’ve seen you last.”

“Indeed it has, old friend.” Shining nodded, leading them down the winding stairwell. He knew Celestia would want to see her monument, so he had the stewards clean the crypts thoroughly.

“It should have been her.” They entered the crypt proper, a long tunnel well underneath the floors of Crystalfell keep. Along the walls were the well-worn statues of Sparkles dead and gone. Every one of them, from the first to the most recent, were buried down here. Their bones rest at the feet of their statues. After a long while, they came to the most recent statue, this one of Shining’s siter.

“Aah, Velvet.” Celestia knelt low, kissing Velvet Sparkle’s out-stretched hoof. “Would that you had lived, I’d have made you Princess.”

“Are you not pleased with Applejack?”

“Bah,” Celestia scoffed. “She’d just as soon be sitting in Ponyville, counting her bits next to that greedy bastard of a mother she has.”

“The Apples fund much of Canterlot, do they not?” Shining frowned. He didn’t care much for the Apples. Truth be told, not many ponies in the Crystal Empire did. “Her own brother is in your Princessguard.”

“The Kingstabber.” Celestia shook her head. “Slimy git. He’s only good for looking good. And half the bannermen sworn to my family are in the Apple’s coin purse. Damnit, the last pony I had loyal to the Solari is dead, Shining.” Celestia turned to Shining, frowning intently. “Hurricane Harshwinny died just last week.”

“The Hoof of the Princess is dead?” Shining blinked in shock. “How?”

“We don’t know. He had been sick, but we thought it a fever.” She shook her head. “Poor bastard burned up. It just got worse and worse until his brain boiled in his skull. He died just two days ago.” Celestia leveled her gaze at him, her eyes cold and hard. “I need you, Shining. Not freezing up here, chopping the heads off cowards that run from the shields and the changelings. I need you in Canterlot. I need you to be the Hoof of the Princess.” Celestia withdrew a pin from her tunic, passing it off to Shining Armor. It was a hoof, emblazoned with a starburst. The sign of the Hoof of the Princess.

“Celestia, I… I have a family. I can’t-”

“I’m not asking you, Shining. I need a Sparkle on the small council. I need somepony loyal to me, not to coin.” Celestia leveled a glare at him, her eyes intent. “What happened to the good old days, Shining? You and me on the Princessroad, swords by our side and a different whore in our beds each night? You’ve grown cold.”

“And you’ve grown fat.” Shining countered with a grin. Celestia guffawed and clapped his shoulder.

“Fat I may be, but I can still fight damn you. By the stars, I miss those days on the field, the smell of blood and shit all around me, an enemy under my hammer. Do you remember the day I smote Magnum on the Trident? Caved his chest in, I did! One swing, and down goes that filthy bastard!”

“They were good days, but they were old days.” Shining shook his head. “There’s no rebellion to fight. Even the Donkeys fell under our strength. We’ve no more enemies to fight.”

“Not on the field, no.” Celestia shook her head sadly. “There’s something ahoof in Canterlot, Shining. That’s why I need you.”

“Give me some time.” Shining sighed. “I can’t just leave, not now. Not with the news I just had.”

“Heard about that. Another deserter from the shields? What, couldn’t handle the cold?”

“No,” Shining sighed once more, turning to leave. Celestia glanced at Velvet’s statue once more before following. “She said something about Wendigos.”

“Haw!” Celestia barked a laugh. “Next you’ll hear tales of Mammoths juggling snowballs the size of houses and Satyrs in the trees. There are no Wendigos, Shining. Like I said, I need you in Canterlot, not freezing your ass off watching for deserters and myths.”

“I’ll consider it.” Shining sighed. “I can’t leave without at least consulting my wife.”

“Now you sound like me.” Celestia chuckled.

“Golden Oaks forbid.” Shining Armor sighed. “Come on, Celestia. I’ve got a feast for you.”

“Good! I could use an ale.”

Featherweight

Featherweight didn’t care much for feasts. They were noisy and smoky and he wasn’t allowed to drink ale like everypony else was. And there was a lot of ale. Drunk ponies wheeled about, sang drinking songs, and laughed loud and long. Featherweight had already ate his fill, and was now just sitting boredly at the head table, watching Celestia down another ale and grope one of the serving mares.

He was bored. And beginning to feel a little sleepy. It wasn’t even that late, the sun hadn’t even gone down yet. But here they were, listening to the minstrel sing ‘The Bear and the Pegasus’ for the fifteenth time.

“A bear! A bear!” They all sang in time. Featherweight groaned and rolled his eyes. To his relief, Shining Armor seemed to be enjoying himself about as much as Featherweight was. Cadance had excused herself, along with some of the other Apples as well. But he was expected to stay, to ‘entertain’ his guests. His guests seemed to be enjoying themselves plenty without his being there.

It was when he met his father’s eyes once more that he got a surreptitious nod. Beaming, he slipped away from the table, underneath a serving mare carrying a tray laden with mugs of ale, past a table where ponies were dicing, and out of a side door. Giggling gleefully, he dashed to where his Timberwolf was penned alongside Pound’s.

“Come on, Birch.” He bubbled, letting the young wolf free. He had already grown some, and could keep up with Featherweight.

“No, you stay here, Wormwood.” Featherweight shoved the other pup back in the pen, since it was Pound’s. He wondered why his younger brother had named his timberwolf after a poisonous tree, but Pound didn’t seem to care. He picked Wormwood and kept it like that.

But Featherweight and Birch bounded off, racing around Crystalfell keep as they were wont to do. One of the hoofmaidens scolded him as he dashed past. “You best slow down! You know your mother doesn’t want you flying higher than any of the trees!”

“I know!” Featherweight called back. He knew, but he didn’t listen. Featherweight was a weak flyer, and couldn’t keep himself airborne for long, but he could flap up a ways, light on some of the jutting stones of Crystalfell keep, and then flitter ever-higher. In a way, he could climb some of the towers, and it was towards his favorite abandoned spire he bounded towards now.

Birch yapped at him as Featherweight flapped up to the first jutting stone. He lighted and clung to the side of the keep’s wall until his wings were rested enough, then flittered up to a branch of one of the nearby pines. From there, he flapped with all his might to one of the jutting spires at the base of one of the keep’s abandoned towers. He could have landed on the rampart, but the door into the tower was locked. To reach the top, he had to go around the outside, using jutting stones where he could.

All the while, Birch yapped and barked beneath him, scrambling at the lower branches of the tree in a feeble attempt to follow Featherweight. But Featherweight wouldn’t be stopped. He continued climbing, flapping six feet at a time. The only place he could slip in was a window on the far side of the keep, and each new stone he flapped to carried him out and over the walls of the keep, where the drop became higher and higher. Some of the stones crumbled under his hooves, threatening to spill him fifty, sixty feet to the ground below.

At long last, he came around to the far side of the keep's tower. This was the most dangerous part of the climb. He had to dip down beneath the level his most recent stone was at and hover into a window. As soon as his head sunk below the level of the window, he froze.

At first, he thought they were wrestling. Big Macintosh, that dashing knight with the pretty white cloak, was on top of Princess Applejack. Featherweight watched as he moved his hips, and the princess cried out beneath him. But the closer he looked, the more he realized they weren’t wrestling. Big Macintosh, the knight of the Princessguard, was having sex with Princess Applejack. His own sister!

Featherweights wings gave out. He gave a clipped cry as the miniscule wings gave out, and he began to fall…

“Gotchya.” Big Macintosh loomed out of the window, snatching Featherweight by the scruff of his neck. With a muscular foreleg, Big Mac hauled him up to plop down on the windowsill.

“Who is it?” Applejack panted, trying to pull her dress down over her haunches. Featherweight blushed furiously, as he’d just caught them doing something naughty.

“The Sparkle boy. The pegasus. What was it, again? Featherhoof?”

“F-featherweight, ser.” He stammered, his blush intensifying as Applejack finished straightening her dress. Her mane was frumpy and her cheeks flushed, though. He looked away.

“We can’t let them know.” Applejack said quietly. Featherweight looked up as Big Macintosh looked down at him.

“Th’ things ah do fer love.”

With a shove, Featherweight tumbled backwards out of the window. His wings couldn’t catch him, and he fell.