Chrysalis' Love Hotel

“You planted a recording crystal on the changeling?” I briefly pressed a hoof against my forehead to quell a growing headache before setting it down to resume trotting alongside Princess Celestia and my fellow guard.

“Indeed I did,” Princess Celestia replied as we turned a corner in the castle. Her private study was just a little ways ahead. “Soon, we shall know exactly what the changeling queen and her swarm are up to.”

“But what if the crystal is discovered before we find out anything?”

“Oh, it’s too small to be detected by the naked eye, as it’s only about the size of a quill tip.” Princess Celestia gave us both a coy smile. “I’ve picked up a few stealth techniques over the last thousand years, and a cut on my wing is definitely worth it to uncover the changeling queen’s plans.”

I exchanged a surprised look with my fellow guard as the three of us arrived at the princess’ private study. Her highness opened the door and ushered the two of us inside before stepping through herself and closing the door.

“Never would I have thought I’d get to see the princess’ private study during my tenure as a guard,” my fellow guard muttered, just barely loud enough for me to hear.

“I hear you,” I replied in the same hushed tone of voice. My eyes flitted from object to object, from the bookshelves along both walls to the skylight in the ceiling to the crystal orb sitting on a pedestal in the room’s center . . .

“I see you’ve noticed my viewing crystal,” Princess Celestia said as she passed me. She stopped in front of the translucent gem and charged up her horn, to which the crystal was enveloped in a golden yellow aura. “It’s what we shall use to see exactly what the changeling queen is up to.”

I approached the crystal with my fellow, humming under my breath as I did so. By the time we were standing alongside Princess Celestia, an image had formed in the crystal. To my eyes, it appeared to be showing us the inside of a hole, if the earthen walls were anything to go by. The image was scrolling forward indicating the changeling was on the move.

“What do you think it’s doing, your highness?” my friend asked the princess.

“Hopefully, we’ll learn exactly what sooner rather than later,” she replied, staring curiously at the crystal’s image. “We may be here awhile, so if you have to use the bathroom, now’s the time to do so.”

Princess Celestia then charged her horn again, summoning three armchairs a moment later.

Well, this should be interesting, I thought, taking my seat as the princess took hers and my friend left to void his bladder. Hmm, I could go for some popcorn right about now.

“Yo, dude!” my friend said once he’d broken the water’s surface. “How long til they arrive!?”

I made my best attempt at a shrug while keeping afloat at the pool’s surface. “Heck if I know, bro,” I replied. I began lazily back stroking toward the pool’s deep end, where a couple of fellow sods were taking turns playfully dunking each other under the water. “But they’ll be here soon enough. I know that much.”

“Well, waiting is a bitch,” my friend said as he followed me.

“Buy one get one free,” I joked.

The two of us shared a laugh at that. We continued swimming in silence after that, periodically glancing to the door leading back to the hotel proper, waiting for our fuck toys to arrive. During this time, we chatted with the other two guys sharing the pool with us. Apparently, they had similar taste in mares to me and my friend, though the two of them were quite fond, almost to an annoying degree, of expressing their love for the mares they’d asked for.

We were all in the pool’s shallow end by the time we heard the door open. All four of us immediately turned around to behold sight of two mares walking through, both of whom ordered by the other two guys. Me and my friend weren’t to be disappointed, however, since our own bitches sauntered in right behind them. All four of them began approaching us, all the while I soaked in every single inch of my bitch’s sweet, juicy flank.

“Hello boys,” Cadence purred.

“Sorry we took so long,” Twilight apologized.

“Princess duties and all,” Celestia joked.

“But we’re here now, and ready to service you,” Luna finished.

Best. Vacation. Ever

With a single gulp I downed my entire fifth soda, crushing the can with my magic and promptly dropping it into the recycling bin her highness summoned for us. Princess Celestia had taken to daintily sipping a lemonade smoothie with one of those customary umbrellas from the movies, while my fellow guard had a bag of popcorn in his lap and was using his magic to levitate clumps into his mouth.

The image in the crystal orb had shifted from that of an earthen wall to a shimmering pool of crystal clear water. A quartet of young stallions was lounging in the pool’s shallow end, looking quite content amongst themselves, in spite of the public menace which they could see approaching them.

My confusion was shared, for I heard her highness mutter to my right, “What are they doing?”

The image then showed one of the stallions stepping out of the pool and, after taking a moment to shake some water loose, began walking left of the tagged changeling, a sultry grin on his face. The tagged changeling followed him with its gaze, and the sight that it eventually landed on elicited a small gasp from all three of us.

The anonymous stallion had approached the beautiful pink form of Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire, perfectly identical to the real princess. In one fell swoop, he scooped the disguised changeling up in his hooves and held her bridal style, and while the crystal orb produced no sound it was easy to tell the imposter giggled in response.

“What is the meaning of this?” I heard my friend ask. I heard the sound of popcorn spilling across the floor and the soft steps of his hooves. So transfixed by the enigmatic images was I that I didn’t look over to him in response.

“Please sit down,” I heard Princess Celestia say. “I’m sure we’ll be given an answer soon enough at this rate.”

I heard him shuffle back into his seat a moment later, followed by a rustling sound which I assumed to be his popcorn being cleaned. During this time the crystal’s image had changed from that of Imposter Cadence and the anonymous stallion to that of one of his fellows flashing a saucy look to the right of the camera. I could’ve sworn I felt my skin crawl a little in response to watching it.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to watch it for very long since he moved his head out of the camera’s sight after puckering his lips. What followed was a barrage of shaky movements with a tinge of the stallion’s mane lining the image’s outer edge. It didn’t take long to discern that he was lip-locking with the changeling, which was in itself an unpleasant enough to think about that I turned to gauge the princess’ reaction, if only so I wouldn’t have to watch it myself. Unsurprisingly, Princess Celestia was every bit as horrified as I was, though at least she had the resolve to keep watching, which I found myself a little jealous over.

My friend, on the other hoof, looked about ready to puke, if the green tint of his cheeks was anything to go by.

“That is all sorts of wrong,” I heard him mutter.

“Yeah it is,” I agreed.

“Please pay attention you two,” Princess Celestia chided us through pursed lips. “As . . . unsavory as this is, we cannot let weak constitution prevent us from uncovering the changeling queen’s plans.”

“Right, sorry your highness,” I apologized. Through sheer force of will, I managed to return my gaze onto the crystal screen.

After a few minutes of interspecies makeout-induced jittery camera movements, the image moved downward a bit, showing across the pool to the cavern’s other side. The camera kept jittering, though instead of random movements it was set in a fixed forward-back motion. Additionally, the image showed another pair of ponies across the pool. One of them was another of the anonymous stallions from earlier, but the other one was the unmistakable form of the recently crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle.

While it was easy to see who they were, the image didn’t allow the three of us a clear view of exactly what the pony and disguised changeling were doing through a combination of distance as well as the camera’s quick, rhythmic movements.

“Any idea what’s happening, your highness?” my friend asked the princess.

Princess Celestia didn’t reply. Turning to her, I saw she was squinting her eyes at the crystal, her expression one of careful scrutiny. Never have I seen her highness look so focused in all my time serving under her. Once again I found myself grow jealous over my comparative ineptness.

“Sweet harmony!” The sudden exclamation from her highness nearly made me jump out of my seat. “That’s . . . that’s . . .” I turned back to her just in time to see Princess Celestia, sovereign of the sun, wise ruler of Equestria, and all around the very definition of benevolence, throw her stomach’s contents up onto the floor in front of her.

“Princess!” I shouted. I leapt out of my own seat and knelt by her side. The stench of half-digested lemonade and coffee cake assaulted my nostrils, but I bore with it and helped the princess to her legs. A tad bit of gooey barf dribbled down her chin while her entire face was a sickly shade of red. To think, she’d been so calm and focused just a mere few seconds prior; I was all too curious as to what had disgusted her.

“Are you okay, your highness?” my friend asked, kneeling down to assist the sickly sun alicorn himself, careful to avoid stepping in her puke. “What’s wrong?”

Princess Celestia didn’t respond right away, instead charging her horn to summon a paper towel roll. She tore off a square and used it to wipe her chin clean, then began cleaning the mess she’d made on the floor.

“I know what the changeling queen is doing,” she finally replied, not looking up from the floor.

“Really?” I said, quite surprised. “What is it?”

“I’ll explain later,” she answered simply, almost finished cleaning. “For now, though, I have a new task for the both of you.”

My friend and I exchanged a curious glance before looking back down at her. “And what is that, your highness?” my friend asked.

“Inform squads one and two to begin preparations for an invasion of the Badlands,” she replied, without any hesitance or strain in her voice. “We leave in two days’ time.”

“Yes! Ohhh, yes! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu-OOOHHHHHH!” I collapsed on top of the client, completely spent after our sex session. No matter how many times I engage in mammalian intercourse I’m always completely drained of stamina by the end, but at least I’m still able to collect love from the client afterwards.

Speaking of which, I waited for a few moments to catch my breath before looking down at the client, a content smile on his features as he relished in our afterglow. I let a small smile grace my own lips as I began the process of siphoning his love energy.

. . . What the?

Confused by the severe lack of love energy I was receiving, I focused my magic harder into the client’s subconscious. Sometimes a changeling will fail to tap into the part of a pony’s brain that emanates love energy, though I could’ve sworn I aimed true. With a shrug, I cast the spell again, doing my best to perfectly pinpoint the desired area of his brain.

It was only through my concentrated efforts the second time trying that I realized exactly what the problem was. I wasn’t receiving any love energy because there wasn’t any for the guy to give, or so little that it hardly mattered.

“Mmm.” The client began to stir beneath me. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled smugly. “That was-”

smack

The force of my sudden hoof slap was enough to send him flying from underneath me across the room, stopping only when he smashed face-first into the nearest earthen wall.

“Jerk.”

“You too, huh?”

I turned to my right and saw one of my fellow drones, disguised as Princess Luna, approaching with a look of exasperated displeasure. Looking past to their own client I saw that he’d met a similar fate to my own, having been knocked unconscious and left on the pool floor, looking more like a ragdoll then a pony from what I could see.

“So I’m not the only one,” I said, then sighed. “I can’t believe we were fooled so easily.”

“We should report this to Queen Chrysalis right away,” they suggested.

“I agree; this could pose a problem in the future if left unchecked.”

“Hey you two, what’s going on?”

The two of us turned to find the last two members of our ‘princess quartet’ approaching, both looking a lot happier than we currently were.

“Why the long faces?” the one disguised as Cadence asked, then giggled. “Besides the obvious, of course.”

“Haha, that isn’t funny,” I said dryly. “And the reason we’re unhappy is because our clients had no love to give us.”

“Wait, really?” the one disguised as Twilight said, surprised. “And you still let them screw you?”

“We wouldn’t have had we known in advance they didn’t really love us,” my fellow replied. “We were just about to report this to Queen Chrysalis to come up with a solution should this become a recurring problem.”

“Well, we got a lot of love out of ours,” ‘Cadence’ said, gesturing between her and ‘Twilight’. “So at least this wasn’t a total bust.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I said, letting a small smile cross my snow white muzzle. “Well, let’s get going then.”

“What about them?” ‘Cadence’ asked, gesturing to the unconscious forms of me and my fellow’s clients. “What should we do with them?”

“Let’s hear from Queen Chrysalis regarding that subject,” I replied, and turned around toward the door leading to the hotel proper. “Whatever the punishment is, I’m sure by the end of it they’ll think twice before trying to forge bonds of love.”

With a nod from each of us we proceeded onwards, hoping Queen Chrysalis wouldn’t get too angry once we told her what happened that she physically harmed those two scumbags. The last thing the swarm needs is to invoke the wrath of the real Princess Celestia.