Professional Exorcist

by TheWittleScamper

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 8721

It was a simple job. Just investigate a bizarre haunting that has taken place in a poor young lady's home. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a demon who can rip holes through space and time. Now I'm stuck in this place they call Equestria

My name is Daemon Mercer. I am what people call an Exorcist. I give restless souls, well... rest. In rare occasions, however, I have to send demons back to the Underworld. This particular job was indeed one of those rare occasions. This demon, however, knew a spell to be send me to another world. I'm am now stuck here in an alien world where legends such as unicorns and pegasi not only exist, but are sapient. Why is fate so cruel to me?

An idea I had in the shower one morning. This is my first fic, so don't expect quality.

Published 2014-04-22 19:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-10 13:36:44 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

When a person dies, there soul is sent to an afterlife. They either go to Heaven or Hell based on there karma. If they were benevolent and generous towards others, they go to Heaven. If they were greedy, selfish, and unpleasant sons of bitches to be around with, they go to Hell. This has been the natural cycle of death since the beginning of time. Though, there are moments when the cycle is interrupted. In common cases, a person's soul can be restless. Their spirit can wander the earth and can quite commonly cause a haunting. This is where people like me come in. My name is Daemon Mercer, and I am an Exorcist. I know what you're thinking: I dress up in a Catholic robe and spray Holy water on random things shouting "The power of Christ compels you!" over and over again. No, in fact I do not do that! That is an offensive stereotype that makes us Exorcists look like idiots! But I digress. Basically, my job as an Exorcist is to make sure the restless spirits either go to Heaven or Hell. If the spirit deserves to go to Heaven, I send them there by fulfilling their last wish. (Spirits are usually restless when their dying wish isn't fulfilled.) If they deserve to go to Hell, then I damn them using passages from the Bible and Holy water. The hard part of Exorcist is when facing a demon. These are rare encounters with a servant of Satan that could be disastrous. To fight a demon, we are armed with Holy water, blessed weapons and armor, and certain passages from the Bible, mostly from Psalms. I only encountered one in my lifetime, but there are Exorcist who dedicate there lives hunting down demons. Again, I digress. On this mission, my job was simple enough. There was a haunting that has been reported by a women with the name of Rosalyn Matthews who lived in a lone house in Union, Connecticut. Little did I know how bad it would turn out to be.

That afternoon, Miss Mathews and I had coffee. She was a pretty woman, at least in my opinion. Blonde hair, green eyes, perfect complexion. By her looks, I guess she was in her early twenties. She was smart enough to give me photos of the house along with the address, which made my job easier. She also gave me information on the death of her brother who died in the house, which gave me an idea of the spirit I'll encounter. By Miss Matthews's information, her brother, Josh, was a kindhearted man who loved others, gave money to charity, and never did drugs. He sounded like a person who would go to Heaven, but I had to check his karma first to confirm this. There is no better disguise for evil than righteousness. After our lovely coffee break, I told her to come with me to her residence. This brings me to the situation I'm in now. The car is driving silently towards the vacant road to our destination. Miss Matthew's is sitting next to me in the passenger seat, texting away with her cellphone, presumably to a concerned family member. She looks up to me after sending her message. I only see her at the corner of my eye as I stare down the open road, but I still see her smiling nervously at me.

"So, uh, why are you taking me anyway?" She finally asked. It was a common question most clients asked me.

"Spirits will react better when their family members are around. If the spirit is your brother, then my job will be easier if you talk to him and introduce me." I explained. She answered with a quiet "Oh" before her cellphone chimed again. She ignored it this time to continue asking me questions.

"How exactly can you talk to spirits?"

"Just like talking to a regular person. Exorcists also have to be born with the ability to see dead spirits to communicate with them without a hitch."

"Wait, so you can see dead people?"

"Yes."

She chuckled a bit. "That's funny." She uttered. She answered the ignored text she received earlier. The trees around the lone road became thicker and thicker as we went. I was staring to get worried about getting lost.

"Miss Mathew's, are you sure we are going the right way?" I asked calmly. She looked up from her phone to examine the road.

"Yeah, we are going the right way. Up ahead there is going to be a dirt road we need to turn to. Then that trail will lead to the house." She instructed. Sometimes I wished I would get a GPS, but I'm always either too lazy, or I forget to get one. It didn't really matter anyway if my clients knew where they were going.

"Thank you, Miss Matthews."

"Please, call me Rose."

About half an hour of silence later, we made it to her residence. The whole place was teeming with trees. They all surrounded a two story tall house with white paint, black tiles, and a pair of windows on each floor. It was quite a peaceful scenery for a haunted house. I stepped out of the vehicle and made way towards the truck. Rose decided to come with me. I opened the truck, revealing the contents that are inside. Dual pistols laid mirrored from each other in there foam molds. The magazines held Holy water bullets, which are basically hollow point rounds filled with holy water. I took the black weapons, and slid the magazines in until I felt and heard a satisfying *CLICK*. I turned on there safeties before sliding them into holsters in my trench coat, and placing the extra mags in pockets. Next, I retrieved my crucifix, and placed it around my neck. After that, I picked up my staff to use magic spells with. Finally, I retrieved my Bible, and placed it in another special slot in my coat.

"Wow. This is nothing what I thought exorcism would be like." She commented. I chuckled.

"That's the reaction I get all the time. Come on, let's go see your brother shall we?" I paced myself towards the entrance, and waited patiently for Rose to open the door. She retrieved the key from her pocket, and inserted it into the keyhole. The clockwork locks echoed through the silence of the residence. One the door was opened, I was first to enter. It was cold inside, even though it was in the middle of spring and sunlight was piercing through the windows. The first sign of a restless entity.

"Joshua Matthews? If you are here, please respond. I am here with your sister, Rosalyn, to put you to rest." I started. There was no response. "You say something, Rose. He may be scared to approach us, so tell him something about both your childhoods, or other good memories you shared with him." I whispered.

"Josh? Uh, it's me, Rose. Your sister. Uh... remember when we were kids? And we use to get Dad so mad by climbing high up in the trees... oh, and that one time when he was so mad, he actually came up to come get us? Josh?" She was nervous, I could tell. I also think she felt quite stupid for believing in ghost and that sort of thing. Something was wrong though, usually the presence of a family member would gain the trust of the spirit, but this one isn't responding.

"That's enough, Rose, thank you. I don't think Josh is here though." I said grimly. Her breathing steadily became more panicked. I held my staff in a firm grip. "Invenies!" I shouted. A white flash appeared at the tip of the staff, blinking slowly. It was a spell for finding spirits. I pointed it up the stairs, and the light started to blink a little faster. I climbed up the steps, the light blinking faster and faster. It stopped blinking before I approached a bedroom. The entity was in that room.

"Rose, stand back. Whatever is haunting this place is in this room. I don't want you to get hurt." I warned. She backed away from the door cautiously, a fearful expression on her face. I opened the door as quickly as possible. "Alright, spirit. I want you to show yourse-" I was cut off by being kicked in the chest. The impact sent me flying into the wall, and I dented it on impact.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted in pain. Rose was screaming, but stood there in total fear. I was then grabbed by the neck and lifted against the wall. I saw my attacker. It was a man in a suit with black hair, red eyes, and a red tie. It was a demon. It smiled at me as I struggled to release it's grip. I realized that his hands were on my neck, where my crucifix was. I grabbed the cross by the string and showed it to the beast. He screamed in pain as his hand burned, releasing me. I pulled out my gun and shot at him. He dodged every shot. I used the precious time it gave me to recite a protective prayer. "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want..." His smile faded once I was done reciting. The prayer would hold to save Rose.

"Rose!" I tossed her my car keys. "If I'm not back in five minutes, I want you to drive away and press the button in the glove box. Tell the Exorcist that comes that I'm dead." I ordered. She nodded and ran down the stairs. "Now to deal with the demon." I thought. I aimed my pistol at it. "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name-" Before I could finish, the demon sent me flying across the hall.

"Damn you Exorcist with your holy words." He spoke. He grabbed me again by the neck, raising a claw towards my neck. "You die this day, mortal." His smiled faded when I fired my pistol straight at his heart. "NO! I WILL NOT GO DOWN ALONE!" He shouted as a dying breath. He used a spell and stabbed me with his claw before dying. I was heavily disoriented after that. I couldn't even stand up on all fours. I dropped to the floor, the world spinning around me. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was my own blood.

It was another peaceful night in Equestria. The sky glittered like an impressive painting for all to see. Everpony was sound to sleep, dreaming peacefully, waiting for the next day to arrive. There was, however, a storm brewing over the forest known as the Everfree Forest. The forbidden woods was infamous for a lot of reasons, one of them being that it creates it own weather patterns. But this storm was strange even by Everfree Forest standards. The black clouds swirled violently over the trees, before sending a single, yellow bolt of lightning towards the middle of the forest. The clouds dissipated immediately after the lightning touched the ground, leaving the night of Equestria peaceful once more. At least for now.

Author's Note

So, um, yeah... thanks for reading this, I guess. Please feel free to comment and point out my mistakes. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

A Whole New World (1)

A Whole New World

-Note: There will be flashbacks in this story. Flashbacks will be italicized and in the third person point of view.

Daemon ran around the room, giggling childishly as he jumped from different sets of furniture. "The floor is lava! The floor is lava!" He shouted playfully. He leaped from the bed and landed on his dresser, knocking off some items placed on top of it. "Come on, Harry!" He called out to his best friend.

"Uh, I don't know Daemon. It looks like a long jump."

"Oh, don't be such a baby! If I made it, you can make it too!" He encouraged. Harry anticipated his chances on making the jump. His life was on the line here. If he missed, he would burn and drown in the lava that spread across the floor. He positioned himself carefully at the foot of the bed. He counted to three to himself, tightening the muscles in his legs. On the shout of three, he sprung up in the air, and landed on top of the dresser. "See? I knew you could do it!" Daemon cheered. Before Harry could reply, Daemon's father breached in the room.

"What is going on here?!" He shouted.

"Me and Harry are playing "The Floor is Lava", Dad. It's really fun!"

"You and Harry?"

"Yeah! You missed it too! Harry made the big jump from my bed!"

His father sighed heavily, and picked up his son. He placed him on the floor, and crouched eye level with him. "We've been over this, son. Harry is... gone. He's gone and he is never coming back." He held back tears in his eyes. "He is in a better place now. Do you understand?"

"But, he's right there."

"No, he's not."

"Yes he is! Why can't you see him?! He's standing right there!"

"Enough, Daemon! He is not there, OK? Why can't you accept that he is gone?" He wiped off the tears that ran down his cheek. "Son, listen to me. From this point on, I don't want you to talk about Harry like he is here anymore. Do you understand?"

"...Yes sir..."

"Good. Now please pick up this mess."

Daemon was angry, but did what his father told him to do. It was always annoying when he tries to convince his parents that he could see Harry, even after the incident. A question lingered in his mind for the rest of that day. Why couldn't his own parents see what he could see?

I didn't wake up so easily after that encounter. I woke up with a severe burning sensation on the left side of my navel, to which I responded with muffled screams. In spite of the pain, I hoisted my self on my legs. Then I almost vomited due to the heavy metallic taste of blood in my mouth. I started to notice that I was dizzy from the blood loss, so I tended to my wound. It wasn't a very deep hole, but since it was caused by a demon, blood was pouring out of it like a morbid fountain. I swiftly grabbed a vile of Holy water, and poured it in the wound. I sat down to relax for a moment while the water worked it's magic. Soon enough, the water slowed the bleeding, and got rid of the burning sensation, allowing me to move my torso a bit easier. I removed my trench coat and body armor in order to wrap medicated gauze around the opening. "Damn, that stings." I spoke to no one in particular. I finally got the chance to look at my surroundings. Trees grew everywhere as far as the eye could see. They were also massive, with thick trunks maybe at least 4 meters tall. They were kind of frightening to stare at. I checked the contents of my coat, making sure all of my items were unharmed. "Holy water... check! Bible... check! Compass... check! Pistols... check! Pop Tarts... damn it, they're crushed!" I tore the foil wrapper, and decided to eat the now single toaster pastry. I continued my mental checklist, and thankfully, everything was in order. I grabbed my armor, and examined the damage. There was a hole that was a bit larger than my wound. That could be problematic if I didn't get it repaired right away. I prepared a mental plan of what I needed to do.

"Step 1: Find civilization. Step 2: Find a local hospital for professional medical treatment. Step 3: Call another Exorcist to pick me up. Step 4: Find a bar and buy a strong drink." I went over the plan over and over again to make sure it was etched into my brain. I checked my compass, and decided to go north for no reason at all. Again, I cursed at myself for never getting a GPS. I walked carefully down the trees, and used whatever survival skills I had to find traces of hikers or pathways. I spent maybe half an hour wandering aimlessly around the forest before coming to the conclusion that I was lost.

"This is hopeless. I knew that Bear Grylls guy was full of shit!" I screamed mentally. I did my best to keep my composure and continued to march on. Surely, the forest doesn't go on forever, right? I was starting to get bored and irritated that nothing was happening. To entertain myself, I whistled a little tune. That didn't work, so I started singing. That didn't work either, so I kicked a rock, and challenged myself to keep it on the path that I was walking in. Again, that didn't kill my boredom. "Ugh! God, please make some interesting happen!" Apparently, God has a sense of humor. Not even two seconds after I shouted, a menacing growl of a hungry predator was right behind me. I instinctively grabbed a pistol and turned around to face my foe. I was a way more than a little surprised when I locked eyes with it. It was large, and consisted the body of a lion, wings of a bat, and a tail of a scorpion.

"What the hell is that?!" The beast leaped into the air, attempting to pounce on me. Out of a lucky reaction, I interrupted its attack with a good swing from my staff. It didn't do much, however, as the beast recovered in less than ten seconds flat. I raised my arm that wielded my pistol, only to get swiped off from my hand. I used my instincts and the skills taught to me at the Monastery to dodge the creature's attacks. It pounced at me again, swiping it's claws at me. "Damn, this thing is fast!" I attempted to grab my other gun, but my luck ran out. It knocked me over on my back, and pounced once more. The only thing that was keeping me alive, was my legs and arms pushing back just far enough that it's swinging claws couldn't reach my face. Adrenaline surged through my body as I struggled to survive. They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. That is probably what happened to me when the world felt like it was going a million times slower. All I could think about was my life. My family and friends, my achievements and mistakes, and just my whole life in general. Then I noticed something on the corner of my right eye. I turned my head and saw my pistol, laying on top of the grass. I felt a bit of excitement that I could possibly survive this. Reality came back to me. I thought of a plan, and it became the only thing I was thinking about. I reached out with my right arm as far as I could. My strength was giving in. I couldn't last much longer. Adrenaline and excitement washed over me as I felt the butt of the grip. I used my fingers to move the weapon closer to me. I could practically feel the razor sharp claws on my face. I felt the trigger of my gun, and I smiled. Every second felt like an hour as I brought the weapon up to the creature's chest. I squeezed the trigger three times, each one followed by a staccato crack.

I threw the lifeless body to my side, and stood up. I smiled wide, and started laughing, relieved that I was alive. I was still pumped up with adrenaline, and felt my heart race. As I calmed down, a sharp pain came across my chest. I looked down. I don't know when it happened, but the creature's claws cut cleanly through the armor, leaving gashes in my chest. "Aw... crap." I knelt down onto my knees as the adrenaline fueling my strength left me. I fell onto my back, gazing into the sky. The sun was setting, and not a cloud was in the sky. A perfect spring day. My vision was going blurry as the world around me was spinning. I thought I heard the sound of hooves, who I assumed to be people on horseback. I didn't bother calling out to them. I was really tired. The only thing I could think about was taking a nice long nap. I closed my eyes, and drifted off to a deep sleep.

I awoke in a bed. It wasn't my bed, though. That sent my mind racing. "What happened last night?" I tried to remember anything that brought me to my current situation. Nothing came across my mind. I took a second to examine my surroundings. The place was all made of wood, so I assumed it to be a cottage of sorts. There were two doors, one I figured it would be a bathroom, and the other would lead to the rest of the house. The only thing weird about the place was the decorations. Whoever lived here seemed to be obsessed with butterflies. On the foot of the bed, and on the center of a yellow carpet, there was a trio of butterflies. On pictures, there was always a butter colored pegasus with a pink mane and tail with a trio of butterflies tattooed or dyed on the flank. "They sure do have a weird taste in art." I mused. I unwrapped myself from the pink blanket that covered me. Then my worst fear was realized. I was naked. "That's just great." I sighed. I tried to get up, but pain stopped me. I then noticed the bandages wrapped around my chest and navel. "Seriously, what happened last night?!" My mind was racing. The door suddenly creaked opened, which startled me enough that I fell on the side of the bed. There was a squeak from the other side of the room, as I groaned in pain.

"Oh, my goodness! Are you alright?" A voice asked in a concerned manner. I swear it was a voice from an angel.

"I'm fine! Just don't come over here! I don't have any clothes on!"

"Oh, um, sorry about that... I just washed your clothes... I hope you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind. Just put them on the bed and give some privacy, please."

She did what I asked her to. I got up to get dressed once I heard the door close. My clothes were neatly folded and had a pleasant scent to them. The only problem I had was that my shirt had three large rips on the front. I decided to wear it backwards and place my trench coat over it. There was a mirror right next to the bed. I took a look at it, but didn't like what I saw. My black hair was unkempt, with strands of hair sticking up here and there, I needed to shave, and I needed to brush my teeth. All that, and my breath could probably be used as a weapon. I tried brushing my hair with the saliva and fingers technique to make myself look a little presentable. I thought about the lady I would inevitably meet. She sounded like a beautiful women, and was certainly light on her feet. I didn't even hear her footsteps when she placed my clothes on the bed. "Alright, you can come in, now!" I called out to her. The door creaked opened once again, revealing something I did not expect. It was the butter colored pegasus that was in those pictures. From the pink mane and tail, to the butterflies etched on it's flank.

"Oh. My. God."

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long. My internet kinda crashed this week. Stupid lightning storms!
Anyhoo, I enjoyed writing this chapter. As always, Constructive critism is always welcomed!

Kansas is Long Gone (2)

Kansas is Long Gone
Note- This story takes place before the events of season 2. I know I should said that earlier but, hey, I'm new at this and I kind of forget things.

"No. Nononononononono! NO!" I panicked. What else could I do? I wake up in a strange room in a strange house to find out that the person who lives here is not a person at all. Not only is it not a person, it is a pegasus who freaking speaks. Not to mention that it was perfect English! To respond to that, I did what any sane person would do at the situation. I panicked. "This can not be real! This isn't possible..." I pinched myself on the arm, praying for this scenario to be some wild dream. Sure enough, it wasn't. "No." I muttered in defeat. I placed my trembling hand on top of my head, feeling my hair mixed with sweat. I placed my back up against the wall next to the bathroom door, sliding down slowly until I sat on the floor. I stared right at the winged horse, getting a good look at it. It was small for a horse. I think the correct term for it would be "pony". The top of it's head would reach up to the bottom of my chest at my full height. It's hooves were much more smoother than that of a normal equine, and were a fair bit larger. It's muzzle was also much shorter than any horse I'm familiar of, and it had large, expressive, green eyes. The biggest feature of it, however, was how adorable it was. I don't mean internet cats adorable either. I mean that it was so adorable, that you could suffer a fatal heart attack from staring at it too long. My mind was creating an unpleasant mix of thoughts of possible scenarios that will play out. Some were childishly stupid while others were trying to be as rational as possible.

"Is it going to eat me? No, that's absurd, horses are herbivores. Wait a second, am I considered an alien? Oh God, is it going to sell me to some sadistic government who will... "experiment" on me?"

"Um... excuse me... are you alright?" It spoke in that same angelic voice from before. I was still too dumbstruck to say anything to it. I just sat there and stared like an idiot. After an awkward silence, I soon found my voice.

"I'm fine. Just dandy." I spoke quietly. My voice quivered a bit as I responded. I took my gaze off of it to stare at the floor, contemplating more at my situation. I nearly jumped when I felt it touch me. I lifted up me head to retaliate, but then my gaze met it's eyes. They showed compassion for me. She smiled, comforting me by tapping my shoulder gently.

"There there. I know you're afraid, but you don't have anything to worry about, okay? I won't hurt you." It spoke softly, almost as if a mother to a fearful child. I don't know why, but something told me that I could trust it. Trust her. I felt like she could help me find out where I am and how I got here.

"So, will you help me?" I started, regaining my composure in my voice.

"Oh, um, yes, I'll help you, I mean... if you want me too.

"I do. You see, I-" I was cut off by my stomach reminding me about something important. I was starving. "Um, I hate to ask this, but do you have anything to eat?"

I munched on a carrot I had received from the pegasus. I continued to put trust in her as she showed kindness to a complete stranger, let alone a potential alien like me. On the back of my mind, I was still growing dark thoughts. "Why is she helping me? She must want something from me. Or maybe she really did show compassion just for doing it. Ugh, I shouldn't be stupid, since when was the last time anyone showed kindness to a person, let alone a stranger, and not expect anything in return?" My mental battle grew larger with almost every crunch of the bitter vegetable. I chose to ignore it as best as I could. Her house was interesting to say the least. She has a bedroom and a couple of bathrooms upstairs, and a kitchen that directly connects to a living room. Almost everything, besides some the furniture and wall paper, was made of wood. The furniture was also a little small for me. The kitchen chairs probably wouldn't last long if I took a seat on them, my legs would dangle if I chose to take a rest on it, and details like that. It reminded me of what I thought a Hobbit's house would look like. There was also the obvious part of a lot of animals in her humble abode. They all were small little critters that urbanized people will call pests. What took me off guard is that one particular rabbit was on the counter, glaring at me with an almost human expression on it's face. It didn't bother me as much as a talking pegasus that shouldn't even exist, but it bothered me nonetheless. Speaking of which, the pegasus was talking to the animals. She told them something about me being "not dangerous" and the weird part was that they seemed to understand. Except, of course, the rodent that was giving me the death glare. It was kind of interesting seeing her connection with animals, granted that she is technically an animal herself. "Don't think like that. If she talks and has feelings like a human, she should be treated like a human. You can at least do that after all she has done for you." I told myself. I guessed she must be some kind of veterinarian by the way she treated the animals. "Wait a minute..." I placed a hand on my chest. I remembered the bandages wrapped around me earlier, but as I slid by hand, I felt rugged bumps that could only be stitches across my chest. "Did she do this?" I felt like it was time to get to the bottom of this.

"Why did you do it?" I calmly addressed her, attempting to not be too critical on her. She turned to look at me with a puzzled expression. "Why did you go out of your way to help me?" I asked again, not changing the tone of my voice.

"You were hurt and you needed help. It would've been wrong to leave you there all alone." She finally responded. She smiled warmly at me. It was clear to me now. She really did do this just because she wanted to.

"Well, you have my thanks."

"Oh, no need to thank me. I was just doing the right thing. Oh and um, if you don't mind me asking, what is your name?"

"Daemon. My name is Daemon Mercer. And yours?"

"Fluttershy."

"Fluttershy? What an odd name." I mused. "Hey, who am I kidding. Back in the day, my name would be weird." I took another loud bite at carrot. I thought of what I needed to do next. I needed to devise a plan to get back home if that was even possible. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that with the evil eyes of that furball staring straight into my soul. I needed to get some fresh air. I paced myself to the door. By either Fluttershy's negligence or my returning luck, my staff was placed right next to the door. I grabbed it and make quick use of it to release some pressure on my sore chest as I made my way outside.

It was a beautiful day. The sun shined gloriously upon the land it touched, making the already bright colors to radiate even more. There was a small bridge a few steps away that stretched over a creek that was decorated with lily pads. The nearby trees had birdhouses either tied or perched on their branches. The birds who resided in them sung their song to one another. On the horizon, there were shapes that seemed to be houses close to one another. "There is a whole village of these pony things?!" I sighed. I needed to get use to these things before I could get home. I took a look at her house from the outside. It was something from a fantasy movie. The house was built in the tree, with branches sticking out, holding more birdhouses. "Gee, what's next, a city on top of clouds?" I pulled myself away from the distractions to create a plan, which involves one of my favorite pastimes: talking out loud to myself.

"Okay, so what are my options here? I could walk into a town and ask for help... no, too risky. I could find a way to get to the leader of the government... what am I, stupid? I'll have to ask Fluttershy for help... but what if she can't? Then I'll have to ask her for to introduce me to the town, and hopefully gain their trust. Then I'll have a happy ending like in the children's books. I hope this place is like a children's book and not one of those nursery rhymes."

My monologue was interrupted by the door creaking open. Sure enough, it was her. She jumped a bit when she saw me. "Oh... uh sorry. I just saw you walk out and I thought..."

"It's okay. I'm not thinking about leaving yet. I just needed to get some fresh air. So, uh, Fluttershy, can I asked you a favor?"

"Um... okay."

"Do you know how I got here, or how to send me back?"

"Well, um, I don't know how you got here, I just found you in the forest... sorry. But I think I know somepony who can help you get home."

"Really? Who?"

"Well, um..."

Before she could finish there was a distant shout. I turned to find the source, but found something speedy and polychromatic coming straight for me. I quickly moved away from the house, ignoring the tightness of my chest. I wasn't fast enough. I felt something hit me on the back. Hard. I was sent face first into the grass. I rolled to face my attacker. It was another pegasus. It was cyan, with an impressive multicolored mane and tail. It also similar to Fluttershy by the tattoo thing on it's flank, but instead of butterflies, it was a lighting bolt with a red, yellow, and blue color scheme. It glared at me with determination in it's eyes.

"Don't worry, Fluttershy! I got this!

"But, Rain-"

"Alright ya big lug, I'm gonna buck you into next week for attacking Fluttershy!"

She had a feminine, but butch voice. I stood to my feet, and she responded by flying eye level with me, hooves raised as if for a fist fight, but with hooves.

"I wasn't attacking anyone. You assaulted me!" I yelled, pissed off by her idiotic actions.

"You... talk?!"

"Yes I can."

She lowered her defenses, but not completely. She still hovered eye level with me. I wasn't worried if she did attack me. One simple spell, and she would down for the count.

"Look. I wasn't attacking anyone, I swear. You can ask her." I pointed to Fluttershy, who squeaked a little. The multicolored pony turned to her friend. She didn't even need to ask.

"He's right, Rainbow. He wasn't attacking me."

I smiled victoriously. I ignored her to finish my conversation with Fluttershy. "As you were saying, there is someone who could help me?"

"Oh, well, yes. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she is great with magic. She is in the middle of town."

"I can't just walk in the middle of town. You saw how your... friend reacted to me. I hate to ask anymore of you, but can you bring her here?"

"Why, yes, of course! Anything to get you home." She smiled. She quickly made her way towards to the town. I glanced at the other pegasus when Fluttershy was out of sight. She glared right back.

"Don't you have somewhere to be, Skittles?"

"Yeah I do, and it's right here to make sure you don't cause trouble. And it's Rainbow Dash."

"Whatever you say, Skittles."

She scoffed at me. I chuckled as I sat down in the grass. Rainbow Dash took the sky to hide on a cloud. She stared at me cautiously from the sky. I started to whistle to myself. I prayed it would be a short trip to this Twilight's house for my sake. I don't know how much more I can stand this.

Author's Note

Here is another chapter for ya! Now that I am organized a little with my life, I'm going to try the best I can to update this weekly. Expect another chapter next week, and as always, constructive criticism is always appreciated!

Myth (3)

Myth

The pony named Rainbow Dash continued to stare at me with determined caution from her little cloud. I can't describe how annoying it was, but I'm going to try. It's like when a fly lands on your face, and you swat at it, telling it to piss off, but it continues on and on to land on your face. I don't pose any kind of threat to her friend, Fluttershy, and wouldn't even think about harming her after she helped me for no reason. But this stubborn, multicolored horse continues to land on my face. I had just about enough of it. I stood to my feet, and casually walked inside, doing my best to ignore Rainbow Dash. I moved towards the center of the living room. There was a nice selection of books placed inside of a neat bookshelf. Being the curious man I am, I decided to take a look. "Let's see. We got... books about animals. And here I was hoping for some Stephen King." I sat down on the floor, legs crossed, disappointed that I had absolutely nothing to do. The animals around the place crowded around me with curious eyes. I have never been a animal person, nor will I ever be, but I didn't seem to mind them. As long as they don't get there nasty muddy paws on my very expensive coat, they would be easy to ignore. "Speaking of which, where is the rest of my equipment?" I got a little scared. I may have not remembered how I got here, but I always bring my equipment with me wherever I go. Always. If Fluttershy found my staff, she must've found the rest of my stuff too. Something also told me that innocent pegasus has never seen a gun before, and therefore, she could accidentally hurt herself or someone else. I needed to find them before that happened. I spontaneously stood to my feet, scaring some of the animals that crowded around me. I almost ran up the stairs in fear of one of the animals shooting themselves if she placed it some easily accessible. The first place I went to investigate was the room I woke up in. I searched to room, but also tried to be respectful to the items here. I also didn't go through the drawers since that would be a huge invasion of privacy. I search the corners, under the bed, under the dressers, and even behind the dressers. I couldn't find anything. Sighing heavily, I was just about to give up on this room before I noticed the closet. I thought for a moment, debating whether it is a good idea to check inside of it, or that is was an invasion of privacy. I made a decision. "Just look to see if my stuff is in there, then get out." Quickly, I grabbed the handle on the door. I counted to myself, just to to fill me with a little suspense. I turned the knob, open the door, and sure enough, my equipment was sitting on the floor on top of a cloth sheet. Sighing in relief, I took the corners of cloth, and used it to wrap up my items. I slid out of the closet, as happy as I could be, until I was face to face with that Rainbow Dash pony. She looked very pissed off at me.

"What the hay do you think you're doing?" She snarled. If looks could kill, then I would've have been ripped limb from limb.

"I am collecting my items."

"Your items?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." I moved pass her to the bed, and carefully placed the cloth wrap on top of the sheets. "See?" I pointed to my stuff to prove that they were mine. I doubted that Fluttershy owns a gun "How did you even get in here?" Dash pointed towards the now opened bedroom window. I smiled a bit to annoy her. "You know that's breaking and entering. Right, Skittles?" There was a slight redness of anger under the cyan fur on her face.

"Oh, you are soooo gonna get it." She braced herself to charge at me. I sighed in annoyance. I needed to ended this. One enemy here is one too many.

"Look, I'm sorry. Seriously I am, but can you look at this in my perspective?" She looked like she was ignoring me, but I continued. "I somehow ended up here, and I don't remember how. I just want to go back home, and I guess I was lucky enough to find someone who could. Now if you just be patient, I could talk to this Twilight person, and if she can help me, then I can get out of your hair. So, in a way, we could both benefit from getting me help to get home." I smiled, and held out my hand for a handshake. "What do you say? Let's be friends until I get home, then we could forget each other forever. Deal?" I outstretched my hand waiting for a response. She looked at my hand suspiciously, before rolling her eyes as she made her decision. She placed a hoof in my hand.

"Deal." She twitched when I clasp my fingers around her hoof, but relaxed after I started shaking it. I smiled in relief.

"Daemon Mercer, by the way."

"Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Ponyville." She said with a prideful smile. I let go of her hoof and decided to go outside to relax in the warm sun again. "And what does "Skittles" mean, exactly?" She asked with a little anger in her voice. I chuckled.

"Skittles is a an assortment of multicolored candies back where I live." I grabbed the cloth and made my way down the stairs. Dash followed closely behind me. I noticed differences between her and Fluttershy besides their appearances. Dash is not afraid to start a fight, whereas Fluttershy is calm and kind. But I guess it was for the best. After all, she only confronted me because she thought her friend was in danger. I opened the door and, once again, felt the sun's rays on my face. "Man, it's such a beautiful day today." I mused. I've never been raised in the rural parts of America, but I bet they aren't this bright and colorful during the day. I took a second to marvel at this place's beauty, then sat on my spot next to the front door. I laid out the cloth which concealed my equipment. It seemed like everything was there. My pistols had a few scratches on them, but other than that, everything was fine. I slid the pistols in there said holsters, and took the crucifix and wrapped it around my neck. I rested my head against the wall of the house. I noticed Rainbow Dash look over at me and started snickering. With nothing else to do, I strike up a conversation.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but aren't you a guy?"

"...Yeah... Why?"

"Well, it's just that you are wearing a sparkling necklace..." She started snickering again. "What's it suppose to be, anyway?" I smiled. She just gave me a huge opening to say something smart, and I was going to take it.

"Oh nothing really. It just resembles a thing that was used to torture and kill a man just for being born." From the reaction she gave me, I think I nailed it.

"Why would you wear something like that?"

"Calm down. The story goes that He was killed because he was the son of God. It says that He died for all of our sins. Three days later, He rose from the dead, and told his followers to preach the teachings that he taught them before going to Heaven. The cross is a symbol for His death and his Resurrection." I smiled and held up my crucifix for emphasis. "Even though it was the instrument used to kill Him, we use it to remind us that He is still alive." She was silent for a moment.

"That is a weird story."

"Well, it makes sense to me. That story and more are all in this book." I held out my Bible before placing that in it's slot in my coat. "I remember most of them."

"You read that whole thing and remember it? You're almost as bad as Twilight."

"Speaking of which, I hope she'll react well to me. The last thing I need is a bunch of ponies with torches and pitchforks out to hunt me down." She scoffed at me.

"Ponyville is that bad at all. The worst they'll do is hide in there houses until you go away."

"That still doesn't sound uplifting..."

"Pfft. You are so dramatic."

"Whatever. all I want is to go home." I sighed. "No offense, but I just want to get out of here as soon as possible. It's been a miracle that I have been this calm." She stood silent. I stared off into the horizon and came across a familiar sight. Off in the distance, I recognized Fluttershy. She brought company with her too. Once they got closer, I could see the other pony's features. It was lavender, with a dark blue mane and tail complete with a magenta and purple streak running through them. It was different from the first two ponies I have met. Instead of wings, it had a horn. "A unicorn? Just how many mythological creatures live here?" Rainbow Dash called out to the two of them, waving a hello. Once the unicorn noticed me, I expected it to run away in fear. She didn't. In fact she seemed excited once she spotted me. They stopped right in front of me. The unicorn smiled when she saw me up close.

"We're back, Mr. Mercer." Fluttershy greeted softly.

"Hiya. So this is... Twilight, right?" I responded. The unicorn perked up once I spoke. Even more so when I said her name.

"Yes, This is Twilight."

"Um, forgive me for being so forward, but are you a human?" Twilight asked spontaneously. It caught me off guard that she even knew the word "human", but it did give me a little hope.

"Uh, yes. I am a hu-"

"OMIGOSH! A real live human! I knew I should have brought some parchments with me..." She continued talking to herself.

"Uh, is she alright?" I asked to no one in particular. Rainbow Dash simply shrugged, almost confused about the situation as I was.

"I have so many questions to ask you! What do humans like to do? Do you have families like ponies? Why did you have so many wars? How did you build enormous cities without magic? What-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. I asked for you so you can help me get home. If you can help me, then I can answer as many questions as I can." I seemed to grab her attention. She blushed with embarrassment before clearing her throat.

"Oh. I'm sorry... hehe... Well, uh, my name is Twilight Sparkle."

"Daemon Mercer. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Daemon Mercer..." She repeated my name, showing some fascination to it. "Sorry about that, again. You see, I read a lot of mythology books when I was a filly, and humans were one of my favorites..."

"Humans? Isn't that what Lyra talks about all the time?" Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight simply nodded as a response.

"You see, humans were interesting creatures..."

"Okay, here we go." Dash commented before sitting on the floor with a bored expression on her face.

"In the stories, humans were one of the dominant races on the planet. They were everywhere in the whole world, building giant cities everywhere they went. The legends also say that they were the ones who gave the knowledge of language and mathematics to Ponykind. They were a smart race, but not always a peaceful one. Because there were so many humans who were so diverse, they had different governments who didn't always see eye to eye. As a result, they had many wars against each other. After the wars, however, they always became peaceful again and rebuilt the war torn cities.

"But then Discord came along and changed everything. He enslaved or killed all of the humans in existence during his reign on the throne. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna tried to save them, but it was too late. Once they defeated Discord, the human race became extinct." She stopped for a breath. "I always thought they were just silly stories."

"Are you done now?" Dash said plainly.

"Yeah, I don't think those stories are anywhere near true." I started. "I think I would have noticed it when we gave ponies sapience, or became enslaved to this Discord." I argued subtly. She looked at me weirdly, as if offended. "Anyways, do you think there is way to get me home?"

"Well, there might be a spell I could use back home. You can follow me home!" There was two things wrong with that suggestion. One, I would have to walk right in the middle of a town full of sapient ponies, and two, she was a girl asking me to follow her into her house. But I really wanted to go home, so I had no choice in the matter.

"Okay, then." I stood up to my feet.

"Great! I'll take notes on you and then find a way to send you home."

"I really don't like where this is going." Rainbow Dash stretched a bit after listening to Twilight's mythology lesson.

"Well, I gotta go. The weather ain't gonna do itself ya know. See you guys later." And just like that, She was gone. Fluttershy approached me.

"Before you go, you had some stuff that I put in my closet..."

"Yeah I know. I already found them.

"Oh, okay. Well, goodbye Mr. Mercer."

"Yeah, goodbye. And thanks. For everything." She nodded before going inside of her home. I never thought I'd say this, but I was probably going to miss her. I turned to look at Twilight, who was smiling at me.

"So, uh, ready to go?" She asked gleefully

"Ready as I can be. Let's go." And so we left Fluttershy's little cottage. It took us a while before we could see the town. Off in the distance, I witnessed the ponies who lived there do their daily errands. I knew that I was going to disturb the peace there in a minute. I sighed and waited for the inevitable. "I hope it all goes well."

Author's Note

Disclaimer: If you haven't found out yet, this story has parts where the Christian religion is mentioned. If you are offended by this religion, then please don't dislike this story because of it. Either bear with me, or choose another story to read. Thank you, and as always, constructive criticism is always appreciated!