Lotsa ponies think I’m strange or mean.
I yell lots and look real big and strong and tough.
I’m real big, and I’m real strong, but I’m not that tough.
I’m not smart, not good at making friends either.
Reading books is hard. Making friends is even harder.
But lifting heavy things, that I can do. It’s much easier, much simpler.
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Momma always called me her ‘big, strong stallion’, even when I was little colt. I don’t know why, I was a very little colt, and not strong.
Maybe it’s cause she was so weak from being sick, that to her I seemed real big and strong.
Maybe it’s cause dad had been on vacation so long, she forgot what a big, strong stallion looked like. I’d never seen dad, but she told me he was real big and strong, just like me.
I always helped Momma out when she was sick, and brought her what she needed, even when it was real heavy, like the big metal tube things, or the machine that beeped lots.
I didn’t go to school very much, Momma said I should, but she was always happier when I was around, so I could never bring myself to go. Her mouth wouldn’t make a very big smile, but her red eyes were always real bright, like her mouth was tryin’ to keep up.
I was always with Momma, takin’ care of her, but I didn’t get out much to make friends that way.
I yell lots because I always had to yell, or Momma couldn’t hear me. She was losing her ears ‘cause of how sick she was.
One day Momma got real sick, she was coughing lots and the beeping machine was beeping all strange. Her white color was turnin’ grey.
She said she was dyin’.
I knew the doctor ponies could help so I tried my best to carry her to the hospital, but I was still real little, and not strong at all.
She tried to tell me it was ok, that it was her time, but I couldn’t lose my momma, not yet.
I only carried her out to the street before my legs stopped walking, and I fell down, and momma fell down too.
She said “It’s ok, my big, strong, stallion, you did your best. Momma will be ok…”
But she wasn’t.
I kept tryin’ to wake her up…
But she wouldn’t.
We held a real nice funeral. I wanted to help carry her casket, but I was still too little and not strong enough.
I thought for sure Dad would come home from vacation to see her, but he never did.
After that the nice mayor told asked me where my dad was, I said he was on vacation.
She asked me how long he was gone and when he’d be back.
I told her he’d been gone about 8 years, and I didn’t know when he’d be back.
The mayor gave me a real sad smile, and said she had a place I could stay until he got back.
I got moved to a real big house, that had lots of colts my age, it even had a pool, and a room for ponies to get stronger. It had a funny name, it was called The YSCA, which I found out meant Young Stallion’s Celestial Association. They were special big homes built by Celestia for young stallions without Mommas and Dads.
I didn’t make many friends, cause lots of the colts were lots bigger and stronger than me, and beat me up for not being as strong, and having a funny coat and eyes. They called me a ‘albino’ but I didn’t really know what that meaned.
I wasn’t mad about being a ‘albino’, but I was always real mad I wasn’t stronger.
Not cause of the bullies, but because maybe I coulda saved Momma.
I started avoiding them by going in the room where ponies went to get stronger. They had lots of heavy things, just meant for being picked up and put back down in funny ways.
I thought it was silly, but then one older colt told me that over a long time, when you pick up the heavy things and put them back down over and over, you can start to pick up heavier things, and then even heavier things, it made you stronger.
I really wanted to be stronger for Momma, so I started lifting the heavy things and putting them back down too. At first I could only pick up the smallest heavy things, but the older colts, even though they were much bigger, were much nicer, and showed me how to pick them up and put them down the best way, and kept telling me to pick them up and put them down more times.
I started going to the stronger room more and more, every day. When I was sad and missed Momma, I went to the stronger room. When the big colts picked on me and made me sad, I went to the stronger room. When I just had nothing to do, I went to the stronger room.
After a really long time, I started to lift the medium heavy things, and my body got bigger. I wasn’t little any more, I was pretty big for my age, and could pick up heavier things than most colts. One day I was being picked on, and I got real mad. One colt called me stupid and weak. I yelled back, “I’M NOT WEAK. I MAYBE STUPID, BUT I'M NOT WEAK ANYMORE!!” He laughed and said he could pick up a heavier thing than me, so we went to the stronger room.
He was still bigger than me, but he didn’t know the right way to pick the heavy things up, and he didn’t expect them to be so heavy. I showed that when it came to lifting the heavy things, I was much stronger. That’s when I got my cutie mark, it’s one of the heavy things, but the ponies in the stronger room called it a ‘dumbbell’. I thought they were making fun of me, but I found out the different heavy things had names. They were called ‘weights’ and the one-hoofed ones were dumbbells, and the two-hoofed ones were barbells. The stronger room was called a gym, too, but I didn’t like that. I wanted it to be called what it meant.
My wings are small 'cause we weren’t allowed to fly in the house, and I didn’t go outside much. I didn’t like the sun cause it hurt my skin and eyes. I got used to it the more I went outside, but then my wings were to small to get me off the ground for long.
A long time later, I could pick up and put down the biggest weights lots of times, and got sad cause I couldn’t get any stronger. I was the biggest and strongest pony in the stronger room, but I wanted to be stronger. I really wanted to be Momma’s big, strong, stallion. The other colts told me to ‘slow down’ cause I “was making ‘em look bad,” but I didn’t want to make them look bad, I just wanted to be real strong.
One day the mayor came back and told me I could leave and live wherever I wanted, and she’d get me a job to help pay for it. I choose Momma’s old house cause I missed it lots, and it was close to the stronger room.
When the mayor asked what job I wanted, I told her something with the weights. I wanted to keep getting stronger. She laughed and said, “But you’re already so strong! What could you possibly need to be stronger for?”
I said, “IN CASE I NEED TO HELP ANOTHER SICK MOMMA.”
The mayor smiled and nodded, “Well then, how about I make you a coach?”
“COACH?” I asked.
“Do you remember the older colts and young stallions who showed you the correct way to lift weights? And how they encouraged you to do more?”
“UH-HUH.” I answered.
“How would you like for that to be your job? Helping all the little colts who want to get stronger, just like you! Well? How about it?”
I smiled real big and showed my leg to show I was finally strong enough to help somepony.
“YEAH!!!”
Author's Note
This was really melancholy to write, and my first attempt at pure slice-of-life, but I had fun with it, and hope you do too!
