Philosophers in the Orchard

by Bromad

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3497

Derpy may not look the type, but she has a lot to think about. It's only after ponies go out of their way to talk to her about what's on her mind does she finally open up

When Applejack spots Derpy staring off into space, she wants to know if the lonely mare is all right. It turns out that Derpy has a lot to think about, including quite a few other pegasi who venture to Sweet Apple Acres in the middle of the night to do the same.

Published 2014-04-27 02:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-01 17:04:29 UTC

Pegasi Find Comfort in Apple Trees

Throwing her rear hooves into an apple tree trunk, the red fruits rained down around her. “Just another hour or so before dark.” She reminded herself, picking up the pace. Most of them landed in the buckets standing upright on the ground around Applejack, but this time there was one apple she heard slowly fall and hit every branch on the way down. She counted off in her head until the time it would appear. “Five… Four… Three… Two…” the thumping stopped. “Must be caught in between a branch" she said to herself.

Rearing back, she kicked the tree again and waited for the apple to appear. “Must be stuck good.” Shaking it, she was surprised at the voice that called out to her from up in the branches.

“Here you go Applejack.” A grey hoof pushed through the foliage with the apple in hoof. The pony’s yellow mane fell through as she smiled to the farmer.
“Derpy-I uh mean, Ditzy! What are you doin' here?”
“Derpy’s fine. I was flying over Sweet Apple Acres, and then I needed to sit down and think about something.”

Applejack’s response was reserved, the sudden appearance of Derpy broke the concentration for her daily tasks, but she didn’t scorn the yellow-maned pegasus for it.

“Well Derpy, if ya need a breather, go ahead and rest, just don’t be eatin any apples unless you tell me. I don’t mind if’in you do, but I want to know though.”
“Thanks Applejack.” She said, looking back towards the horizon, as far as Applejack could tell, she wasn't focusing on any particular thing.

Dumping one half full bucket of apples into another, Applejack let her thoughts drift away again as she returned to autopilot while doing her chores. The mindlessness helped ease some of the strain her muscles had after being on her hooves for almost twelve hours, bucking apples and hauling loaded bins around her orchards. “Must be nice to fly sometimes.” She thought to herself, it quickly was swallowed up and forgotten by the ebb of conscious thought that was required to lift another bucket of apples onto a trailer.

Big Mac quickly appeared to whisk away the loaded trailer of twelve apple bins when she realized that an entire hour passed in the blink of an eye, and the sun was beginning to disappear over the mountains.

“Fhew! That was a short day!” Her body said otherwise, remembering every second of it. Exerted joints made sure to remind Applejack of the soreness in her body and that it was in-fact not a short day. Taking two steps, her third was shaky as her head dropped to the ground. “Well, maybe not that short. I’m gonna be feelin' this tomorrow!”

Applejack took ten more steps then looked back at the progress she’s made, spotting a yellow tuft of hair blowing in the breeze perched atop one of her apple trees.
“Golly! She’s still here huh? She must be thinkin' about something good.”

One of the absent thoughts that lingered in her mind from earlier that day reappeared and demanded to know what Derpy was thinking before retiring for bed.

“I aint even got anything to break the ice.” She argued, and her subconscious made her look back towards the house. “All right, if it'll make you happy.”

Applejack trotted inside, throwing a pan of apple cider onto the stove to warm up. As she waited, she told Applebloom to get ready for bed, Big Mac to take a shower, and helped Granny Smith into bed.
“Big Mac, make sure Applebloom gets into bed once you’re out, I just gotta take care of one more thing outside before coming back in.

The stallion nodded a “Yup.” before hauling himself upstairs. Applejack pulled the hot apple cider from the stove and filled a thermos with it. Blowing out the candle to the kitchen as she stepped outside, Derpy was still there, staring off into the distance.
“Hey Derpy!” She said, “Room for one more?”
“Sure thing Applejack!”

She took her time climbing the apple tree, careful not to lose her grip on the thermos and reach the topmost branches where Derpy was perched. The grey pegasus offered a hoof to her as she climbed up and swung her legs out over the edge. “I brought some hot apple cider if you want?”
Derpy smiled, “Thanks Applejack.” She poured Derpy a cup and watched the steam waft out over the brim and up into the air.

“Hey Derpy, what’s got you so caught up in sitting in this tree?” Applejack realized there were dozens of feathers that weren’t only grey. “And what’s with all the feathers? Who else’s been here?”

Derpy looked over to Applejack making brief contact with one eye before turning back. “ Did you know we really like apple trees?"
Applejack's expression was blank as before, but she did tilt her head to try and understand the grey pony's response.
"Your apple trees are legendary for being a comfy place to sit down and think about stuff.”
“Es’cuse me?" She looked again at the gathering of colored feathers, "There isn’t any hanky panky goin on in my trees is there?”

Derpy shook her head, “Nope, trees are solid, they support, and provide. That's what makes apple trees feel really comfortable for pegasus to be around.”
A drawn out "Ummmm..." escaped Applejack's lips as she tried to figure out what Derpy was trying to get at.
“And why would they want that in my trees?”

“Well, pegasus always live on clouds, and clouds burst if we aren’t careful. Ever seen a pegasus break up a batch of clouds?”
“Rainbow Dash only brags every time she does it, saying how fast she can do it.”
“And what’s she do?”
“It looks like she kicks ‘em right through, then poof! Gone.”
“How many times do you think you’ve kicked this particular apple tree?”

Applejack looked down through the branches, remembering the countless times shes walked through the orchard, just to buck this specific tree.
“Couple hundred,” Applejack said,
“And the tree is still here.”
Applejack's eyes widened, her subconscious forced her to realize the connection between 'solid', 'support', and 'provide'.
"So what you're sayin is that you like trees cause it wont vanish on ya if you give it a hard boot?”
“Yeeah… I don’t know, more or less.”
“What’ve you been thinking about up here anyway?”
“Ponies.”
“Uh huh, what about em?”
“How many ponies do you think are in ponyville?”
“Couple hundred, never really sat down and counted everypony at one time.”
“Two hundred, sixteen.”
Applejack let out a low whistle,
“What about Canterlot how many ponies in Canterlot?”
“Honestly, couldn’t tell ya. At least few thousand at least.
“And Manehatten, Phillydelphia, Trotsdale, Appleoosa, the Crystal Kingdom?”
“Now you’re getting way out there, Derpy. I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if I did know.”
“It doesn’t matter. Now, think about your friends. What do you think they’re doing rght now?”
"Well… Rarity is either bustin her hump over a dress or already in bed, Fluttershy’s probably putting all her animal friends to sleep, Pinkie Pie-Celestia knows what she does before bed, let alone when. Rainbow is asleep and Twilight’s reading or doing something for the princess.”
“Uh huh, What do you think she did today?”
“Princess Celestia? Royal stuff, I know she rose the sun, has court, probably met with some snooty ponies, talked with her sister, ate some food, and went to bed.”
“What do you think those snooty ponies did during their day?”
“Jeeze, Derpy! How many more ponies do you want me to think about?”
“All of them!" Derpy's voice peaked with excitement and only got faster. "Imagine this, you worked all day out here in the fields and orchards, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, talked to me, and will eventually go to bed, right?”
“Yeah,”
“Now think, any random pony in a random town, got up, worked, ate, went to bed. Just like you. When was the last time you bought something?”
“Just the other day. It for some boxes of nails.”
“From start to finish, how many ponies were involved to make just the nails.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Probably a few at the mill, oh and somepony had to mine the stuff, then another to deliver it, then Lumber sold it to me.”
“Don’t forget all the ponies who had to make the box, deliver the box to the nail company, and then all the ponies you passed going from here to in town.”
“That’s a whole heap of ponies I gotta remember.”
“Add it to all the other ponies in Ponyville, Canterlot, everywhere else you can think of and then remember this- they are all living out their own lives.”
Applejack was quiet for a moment, but then asked “What’s this got to do with anything?”
“Look up. Not just the moon, but at all the stars.”
“Yeah, there are lots of ‘em.”
“Kinda makes you feel small, doesn’t it? We're just two ponies out of millions of others, out of even more stars! They all have their own problems Applejack, and suddenly all the things that bothered me... don't seem that important...”
Derpy leaned her head forward onto her hooves and touched one closed eye, and then the other.

Applejack smiled, Derpy’s logic finally clicked, “Well, when you put it like that, sure there are tons of us, and then there are the stars…” Trailing off, her thoughts suddenly switched into autopilot as they had this afternoon.
Derpy smiled, looking back out beyond the horizon.

“Is this what you do every night?” Applejack asked finally.
“Nah, just when I have something on my mind. But hey, watch this, get ready to laugh.” Derpy pulled an apple from the branch and asked, “May I?”

Derpy looked ready to lob it, Applejack raised an eye brow but nodded anyway. Derpy smirked, already trying to contain laughter.
Heaving the apple as far as she could, she heard a thump and the responding “OW!”
Applejack tried peering out into the darkness of her orchard when voices started coming from every direction.
“Hey! I thought we agreed not to throw apples!”
“It wasn’t me!”
“Be quiet, I’m trying to sleep!”
“You be quiet, you’ll wake the Apples!”
“How can you wake a fruit?”
“Not these, the Apple Family.”
“Do you think apples sleep?”
“I don’t know, they’re pretty hard working, so they gotta.”
“I mean apple, apples.”
“I don’t care, be quiet, you broke my concentration.”
“And what are you so lost in thought about?”
“Whether or not it’s the trees themselves or the concept trees represent that provide the sense of security for all of us to be here.”
“That’s deep.”
“I know right?”
“Think they would notice if I had just one?”

There was a torrent of “Yes!” that made it sound like there were over twenty Pegasus in her orchard. Applejack looked over to Derpy, she was biting her hoof, shaking with pent up laughter

She snorted once, gasped in a breath of air and held it to keep from laughing any harder. Something that Applejack noticed Derpy was having a very hard time doing.

Applejack grinned, laughing at the situation of everypony deciding to have their own little thinking sessions and Derpy’s expression.

“Hey Derpy…” The mare swung her head around. Her cheeks were red and tears were flowing from her eyes. “Don’t laugh.”
Derpy’s eyes widened, focusing straight on Applejack for a moment before she leaned back and fell over, bellowing out laughter that caught the attention of everypony.
“Was that Ditzy?”
“Sounds like her.”
“What’s she laughing about?”
“Derpy! What are you laughing about?”

“Should I tell them or do you want to?” Applejack asked. Derpy was still laughing, she tried to stop, taking a deep breath, but broke down and laughed harder.
“Go ahead.” She said between breaths.
Cupping her hooves around her mouth “I think this thinkin’ stuff you pegasi do is pretty amusing!” She shouted.
There were a few gasps,
“Was that Applejack?”
“It sounded like her.”
“We’re sorry Applejack!”

A few pegasi silhouettes rose up from the orchard and went off into the night, Applejack found herself chuckling at how many there actually were.

Before the silhouettes flew to far she shouted the first thing on her mind. “Now ya don’t have to leave if ya don’t want to! Feel free to stay!” Applejack shouted, a few hovering silhouettes looked around,
“Hear that? Applejack said we could stay.”
“Thank you, Applejack!”
“Yeah, thanks Applejack!”
“Can I have an apple?”
“Quiet! She’s already letting us stay.”
“Yeah!”
“Don’t worry about it! So long as you ask, and pay, I won’t mind. Beat’s thinking on an empty stomach!” Applejack said.
“Thank you, Applejack!”
“Just leave a bit or two by the door, whenever you decide to leave, ya hear me! I don’t want to find a orchard full a cores when I wake up and no one’s paid for ‘em!”
“We will!”
“We promise.”
“Can anyone lend me a Bit?”

The voices eventually settled down, going back into their own realms of thought or having little discussions. Derpy finally regained her composure, and tried looking Applejack in the eye.
“Thanks Applejack, this really means a lot to us.” She said sweetly,
“How long has this been going on?”
“I don’t know, I think it started when one pegasus just sat down and started thinking. Then another, and another. And I’ve been coming here at least once a week for a few months… so probably a year.”
“Well, as long as they pay if they eat, and don’t get too loud, I guess they can stay as long as they want.”
Derpy threw her hooves around Applejack’s neck and hugged her,
“I still can’t believe all these pegasi just decided to show up.”
“Yeah, well, we don’t come every night, or when it’s rainy, cold, snowy-well maybe a few if we dress up. There’s a calendar in Cloudsdale and Ponyville with a schedule for gatherings. They have the moon cycle, we usually come on full, quarter, and new moons.”

“Any particular reason why no pony’s decided to clue me in on what’s happenin on my property until now?”
“It was suppose to be a secret, but then somepony saw another leave to come here and asked where they were going, then another, and another, then some pegasus saw those who were already gathered here... and we kinda agreed to give you a little business during the day since most of us thought you were letting us just sit here for a few hours, until I think it was Rainbow Dash that said you never actually gave anyone permission.” Another thought flashed through Applejack’s mind.
“So that would be a no. Well, alright, let me guess. That one pegasus who happened to sit down, look like she was thinking, when really they were takin a nap, was Rainbow Dash.”
Derpy smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno Applejack. It might’a been. It sounds like her, she was here last week.”
“Is she here tonight?”
Derpy turned and yelled “Hey Rainbow Dash! You here tonight?”
“Nope! She’s got weather patrol early this morning! She’s long gone!”
“Shhh!!!”
Applejack grinned, “Don’t any pony tell her what I said tonight! I gonna have fun with this!” she yelled.
“You’re still here?”
You got it! Nobody tell Rainbow Dash until Applejack does!”
“Got it!”
“Loud and Clear.”
“Yep! I been talkin’ to Derpy! You’re gonna thank her, you hear! She’s the one who convinced me to allow you to stay!”
“Hi, Derpy! Hi, Applejack! Thank you, Derpy! Goodnight! I’m going home! It’s too loud tonight!”
“Good night!” the orchard echoed back.

“Well Derpy, it’s been nice talkin to ya. Glad I did, I might’a been awful suspicious if I hadn’t. Thanks for telling me what’s going on.” Derpy nodded, downing the cup of cooled apple cider and handing it back to her.
“And thank you for all you did tonight. I really enjoyed talking, and thanks for the cider too.”
“Good night Derpy, are you still going to be here a while?”
“Maybe, I’ve got a few more things to think about now.”
“I may not get why every pony decided to do this in my orchard, I’ll leave that to Twilight to figure out, but if you ever want a friend to sit and think with, I’d like to be that friend.”
Applejack offered a hoof, but realized Derpy didn’t see it and leaned in to hug her.
For the hundredth time that night, she heard “Thank you Applejack.” but this time it was heart felt and came from Derpy.
“No problem, sugarcube.” Applejack nearly broke their quick embrace until she felt tears hit the back of her shoulder.
“Why are ya crying, darlin’?”
“Because you’re so nice...you let us do this, offered to talk to me, and the cider…” Her voice broke off as Derpy hugged her a little tighter.
“I understand, sometimes you don’t need to talk to know what the other pony is thinking. Just a quiet night, good view, and a place to sit and think.”
Their hug finally broke, Applejack wiped her own eyes and looked down through the branches.
“Any chance you can help me down? I can’t see the ground, let alone the way I came up.”

Derpy nodded, reaching for Applejack as she grabbed hold of it. Drawing out her wings, she carried her up, and carefully set her on the ground.
“Good night.”
“Good night, Applejack.”

Applejack wandered through the familiar orchard trees, hearing the occasional “Thank you, Applejack.” From up in the branches above her as she walked back towards the house, “No problem,”

Crawling up the stairs to her room, she laid her Stetson on the nightstand and looked out over the orchard one last time before pulling back the covers and climbing in.

Applebloom eagerly pounded on Applejack’s bedroom door.
“Hey, Applejack! Applejack! Wake up! There was a bunch of money on our door this morning! Even a few thank you cards! Do you know what that’s about?”
“Just some late night purchases.”
“From who? Was that what you were doing last night? You didn’t come in for a few hours.”
“I don’t know, and how did you know I didn’t come in until way past your bedtime?”
“uh... you made noise coming up the stairs.”
Applejack rolled her eyes,
“Sure, just remember who didn’t get any sleep while you’re helping me and Big Mac while working out there today.”

The day quickly progressed on, Applejack played with a few ideas in her mind on how to prank Rainbow Dash since she inadvertently started all of this. She must’ve caught Rainbow Dash sleeping in her trees at least every other week.
With her thoughts trailing from one idea to the next, a formidable idea cropped up. Something along the lines getting Rainbow to confess in front of all the pegasus who would gather - maybe lure her into the market- and say that she figured out there was a club that would sneak onto her property at night-and that it didn't sit well with her. She’d have to get somepony to bring a camera, just in case Rainbow started to beg. Afterwards, she'd come clean and tell Rainbow it was just a prank to ruffle her feathers.

Author's Note

Awwh... I made myself sad when I wrote the part about how Derpy admitted that her problems didn't seem that important if she thought of herself as insignificant. Then after a few manly tears of happiness for AJ and Derpy's hug, I was glad with what I had written.
I always wanted to write for Derpy, and I knew I could get a deep philosophical response out of that character, regardless of the way she's depicted. I also want to write more for the best BP and possible interactions with the mane six. Pinkie and Rarity at first thought might be difficult because of different reasons. Pinkie, a baker who is paired with a muffin loving pony for a short story seems like it would be easy to write for, but I want to say it's already been done before. I look at other stories and try to write what hasn't been done before, working in uncharted territory. A party? Possibly, I might use one as a setting for part of the chapter, but I don't think I would want it the whole way through.
Obviously, this wasn't an AppleDerp ship, but to save time instead of rambling, I wanted to make the point of "I don't think I've yet to see any other stories out there where AJ and Derpy become friends."
I'll carry on with completely separate stories involving the Mane six having their own little friendly bonding experience with Derpy. As to when those stories actually surface- I couldn't tell you.