My Little Pony Randomness is Magic

by Prince Harmony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Crossover
Length: 4426

These are a series of stories, linked together by one detail, they are random.

These are a series of stories, linked together by one detail, they are random. All of these stories have different plots and have no correlation between each one. I find a lot of stuff happening in my head and in real life so I made these to show them.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-30 20:05:00 UTC

Button's Rage Quit

Button Mash was at home playing a new game he got for his birthday, it was a pretty tough game and his first rated E 10+ game. He arrived at the first dungeon and he saw that there was a sign at the door saying, Eastern Palace. As he entered he decided to save his progress then continue. When he arrived at the first puzzle room he saw a couple floor switches. Before pressing any of them he saved once more.

Button stepped on the switch closest to the door and when he did a few skeletons fell down. He was surprised by this and in the time it took him to recover the skeletons had knock his character down to one heart. Button then began to wildly swing his sword in hopes of killing all of them. Much to his dismay he failed and his character died. An option appeared on the screen Save and Quit or continue from last save. Button chose to continue from his last previous save spot.

When the game reloaded he was back at the dungeon entrance. Button yelled, “What the Buck, I saved in that room not here!!!!” In anger he threw his controller at the wall and stormed off.

Soarin' Forgets how to Fly

One day in Cloudsdale Soarin woke up and walked outside his home only to find out he forgot how to fly. As he fell he saw a cloud below him, with a soft poof he hit the cloud face first. He then held his wings out to allow him to glide the rest of the way down. As he descended he saw that he had fallen a good bit. He was only fifty feet from the ground. When he landed he was in Ponyville, he knew that one mare, a new trainee must know what it is like to lose her gift of flight.

As he walked through town Rainbow Dash flew over to him. She asked him, “What with the long face?”

He raised an eyebrow at her and asked “What do you mean?”

Rainbow smiled and said, “You have a large snout, so get it long face?”

Soarin’ burst out laughing at the pun about being a pony. He then said, “Dash can you help me with something?”

Dash replied, “Sure what do you need?”

Soarin’ replied, “Dash, Can you help me learn to fly again?”

Dash replied, “I can’t but I have a few friends who can. I will be right back.”

A few minutes later Rainbow Dash returned with the entire Wonderbolt team in tow. Soarin’s face grew a shade of red that would make a tomato look pale.

Spitfire chirped, “Hey look it’s Soarin’ the stallion who can’t fly.“

Then all of them Rainbow included began to laugh at Soarin’s own problem. Soarin’ screamed and noticed he was in his bed at home. Realizing it was a dream he went happily back to sleep.

The Doctor’s Muffin Problem

One day in Ponyville Doctor Whooves had just sat down to eat an English muffin. As he had finished buttering it he heard the one thing he feared when it came to his English muffins, Derpy Hooves. The doctor had an idea of her thoughts on them, they are evil.

He tried to hide his muffin from her but to no avail. The second she saw it she shoved him aside saying, “Doctor, get down! I will take care of this.”

As the doctor watched in horror Derpy pulled out a bazooka and blasted it leaving a small crater where the muffin was. As Derpy left she said in a sing song voice, “No need to thank me Doctor.”

The doctor watched her leave then looked down at the small crater. In a whimpering tone he said, “My English muffin. Why does this keep happening to me?”

Pinkie Pie's new butt

Pinkie Pie walked out of the Ponyville General Hospital when a stallion walked up to her and asked, "Pinkie what were you in there for?"

Pinkie replied, "to get a new butt silly."

The stallion asked, "why did you go get a new butt?

Pinkie replied, "my old one had a crack in it."

Pinkie is so angry

“I am so angry!”, Pinkie stated to Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

The two mares were quivering in the corner in fear of their friend.

“I’m gonna hit ya, and your gonna fall down, then I will look down and I’m gonna laugh.” Pinkie said with a wave of her hoof. “

“Eeep.” The two mares squeaked.

“But first,” Pinkie said.

The two mares gasped.

“But first,” Pinkie said again.

The two mares gasped again in fear.

“I gotta take whizz, don’t you two go anywhere.” Pinkie said in a cheerful tone.

The creator's problem OC

“Unique why do you get so much action and I get none?” asked the person next to the pegasi he created.

“Hey it not my fault girls like me, I am a flying magical pony.” Unique replied.

“I guess it isn’t but Unique why do you taunt me so?” asked the person.

“What do you mean?” asked Unique.

“I mean you coming back here every night with mare after mare.” Replied the person.

“Hey if you want a lay that badly I can help you.” Unique replied.

“Really how?” the person asked curiously.

“I will bring a lay home for you tonight since you’re jealous,” Unique replied.

six hours later

“Hey I’m home and come meet the girl I brought for you.” Unique called.

“Finally, let me see her. OMG Unique why is there a mare in my room?” the person asked.

“Hey I got you a lay so deal with it.” Unique quipped.

Mistaken Idenity

Unique walked into a bar one night to find a mare he had had a bad week, not a single date all week. As he walked in he saw a blue coated mare sitting at the bar.

Unique walked over and asked, “Hello there miss, you look beautiful want to have dinner?”

The pony turned around and replied, “Who you calling a girl?”

Unique replied in embarrassment, “Wait what? You’re a dude?”

The stallion replied, “Yeah, do I look like I have a soft coat and a long beautiful mane?”

Unique replied, “I’m not going to answer that.”

The stallion replied, “Why you little…”

Before he could finish Unique took off running.

Browser Endurance

It was a nice evening Chromete and Explorer where see who could last longer the loser had to say the other was better. Explorer was the older of the two and he was sure Chromete would lose. Chromete was the younger but she really knew that she was better in every way. The two began to romp in the bed, Explorer was a bit of a slow start but Chromete was ready to go.

“I know I will last longer then you”, Explorer said.

“Yeah right I am younger and better in every way”, replied a cocky Chromete.

The two were busy trying to win, Chromete felt herself about to finish. She saw the Explorer was nowhere near done. After about three minutes Chromete finished, she lost. A few minutes later Explorer finished. As he moved away he looked at his younger opponent.

Explorer satisfied with himself said, “Admit I am better in bed.”

Chromete in sadness said, “Explorer you win I may be fast but you can outlast me anyday.”

A new Massage

While on their way to visit Lotus and Aloe for their usual works, the two best friends are surprised to find that there are a bunch of other ponies there who have large inflated bellies. They asked the spa ponies afterward what was going on and have explained to them that this was a new type of massaging that was being tried out across Equestria. Inflating the bodies of ponies and pushing out their body muscles allowed deeper muscles which were harder to reach properly could be toned and treated.

Though reluctant at first, the sisters reassure them that there is no pain involved and it is easy to reverse without any pain involved and no stretch marks left over afterward. The two ponies agree to the treatment with them being inflated by the staff that Lotus is using right now on Rarity who finds the massage to be some of the most delightful and relaxing she has had in a long time as she gently pressed her soft, inflated belly feeling like the softest pillow she had ever touched. Fluttershy also feeling loved about treatment can’t help but giggle as Aloe continues to massage her tummy. The two mares now get this every time they go to the spa for a massage.

Roommate Prevokion and Revenge

One afternoon at Cloudsdale University Spitfire had just finished her flight exam and was in her apartment with her roommate Rainbow Dash. Spitfire had just started her shower when Dash walked in. Spitfire didn’t notice her come in but screamed as the water got scorching hot. She got out only to see her room brushing her teeth.

In an annoyed tone Spitfire asked, “Ever heard of knocking?”

Dash replied as she brushed her teeth, “Fwat, Ih wush open.”

Later that night Dash was on the can reading a magazine and Spitfire walked in to brush her teeth before bed.

Dash heard the sink and screamed, “Ever knock?”

Spitfire spat out the foam and said, “Hey it was open.”

Dash chuckled, “I guess we are even right?”

Spitfire replied, “I would say so.”

Why I don't have eyes

“Ever wonder why I don’t have eyes?” Slendermane asked his captured prey.

“Y-yeah” The scared pony replied hoping for mercy.

Slendermane smiled evilly at his scared prey. It had been awhile since he had thought of it.

“Well this is how it went” Slendermane began.

“It was a few years ago, I was chasing this mare. When we looked face to face, my eyes exploded from her sheer ugliness. I ran but it was tricky I always had eyes until then.”

Thinking back on it he began to smile.

“Tell you what I will let you go, but if you here my crackle again you must come back. Deal?” Slendermane told his prey.

The prey ran up and kissed his hooves before saying, “I will I promise. Thank you.”

Slendermane turned around and then made that crackle before the mare could leave.

The mare stopped in panic and then ran.

Slendy smiled and said, “The hunt is on again.”

Unique's Problem

Unique walked into his bedroom with the mare he got that evening. As she laid on the bed, he got himself ready. Just as he reared up he saw her laughing.

Unique asked, “What’s so funny?”

The mare looked at him, “I have seen bigger, yours reminds me of my foal. Heck my colt is bigger than you.”

Unique flabbergasted replied, “No way I am a stallion, no child is bigger.”

The mare laughed again saying, “Yeah right, well see ya.”

Unique sighed before saying, “That was the fourth one this week. I am losing my edge.”

As he finished saying this, UniqueSKD walked in and saw his creation’s look. He began to laugh at Unique’s misery.

Unique looked up and said, “Shut up it isn’t funny.”

UniqueSKD replied still laughing, “Yeah it is.”

Unique decided to hit his creator below the belt with his next remark, “At least I can get a girl.”

UniqueSKD looked at him in muted anger and said, “I hate you.”

Unique began to chuckle at the fact that he could get a girl, but his creator could.

Pinkie's Gross Fetish

Rainbow Dash was desperate, frantically searching Ponyville for her friend Pinkie Pie… There was an embarrassing rumor spread around town about Pinkie’s hygiene, and she blamed Rainbow Dash despite her pleas otherwise…

Rainbow Dash eventually found her, who was pigging out on sweets in Sugarcube Corner by herself… Dash opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by the terrible odor lingering through the room. It reeked of ripe farts, and the potency was like a punch in the face…

"Eww, Pinkie Pie—" Dash began,

"Leave me alone, Dashie! You’ve done enough already… Element of Loyalty." Pinkie scoffed, leaning to her side to rip more ass. "I guess the rumor’s for the best, it IS true…" She said with a sigh, "I can’t help it, I like the smell of my farts. I just wanted to do so in secret…

Rainbow Dash frowned, walking towards her friend. "Look, I’m sorry the rumor got out and spread over town, but it wasn’t me who told everyone!! Somepony could’ve been listening in or something. Look, I’ll make it up to you either way if you want. Just please don’t loose your head again being DEPRESSED …"

Pinkie smiled a little bit, smirking devillishly "Well," she began, coaxing an idea, "Maybe there is something you could do…"

"Fine, anything Pinkie."

"Do you Pinkie Promise?"

Rainbow Dash paused to think, and then nodded.

Pinkie’s face lite up in excitement, not quite her normal self yet though… "Come here, Dashie! I have a surprise for you."

Rainbow Dash came as Pinkie asked. Suddenly —

PFFFFRRRRRRRUURRRHRHRRRTT!

Pinkie turned on her side and ripped one right at her face.

"Ain’t I a stinker, Dashie?" Pinkie giggled. "I hope it’s not too much to ask, but I’d really love it if I had somepony to smell my scent with me… Kinda like it when PEOPLE notice." She blushed.

Rainbow Dash coughed, waving her hand in front of her nose. "Peeyew! Sweet Celestia, that stinks!!"

Pinkie shaked her plot playfully, then released another;

PBBBBFFFFHRRRRRERRRRRHHHHRRRRT!

The smell was unbearable, Dash wanted to run or something… But her hooves were tied, she did have a Pinkie Promise to honor. She gently tried to bare a whiff, but the smell was too much. She resisted the best she could until she absolutely had to, forcibly tolerating Pinkie Pie’s stinky rear the more she needed to breathe.

"Enjoying the stink?" Pinkie giggled in a playfully innocent tone. "Thanks so much for this, Dashie. Can’t wait to do this again sometime!" Pinkie leaned close to take a whiff of the toxic stench Dash was bathed in and scrunched her nose. "Might wanna take a shower or something first though," she laughed innocently. "You really stink, Dashie!"

Time Turners 's Hourglass

     One day Time Turner had run out of sand for his hourglasses, so he placed an order for more sand. Sandy Shores, the pony he orders sand from, was unfortunately all out of sand, which stunned Time Turner. But he didn’t mind too much as he had spent a lot of time in the clock shop and needed to get out anyway. So he caught a ride on the train out of Ponyville and headed towards San Flanksisco to go to the beaches.

     Most of the beaches resulted in very poor sand, either not very consistant grains, full of trash and glass, or had bad colors. So as he explored a beach when he spotted a small cave and went inside. After a few minutes of hearing his echoing hoof falls he could see sunlight. He came out of the cave in a small beach that was like a hemisphere formed in the side of a cliff. He looked at the sand here with amazement as the sand was a light blue color, and not only that it was consistant in both grain size and color. THIS was the sand he sought after, and as such he put some of the sand in a container that he had brought along.

     He was done there so he left San Flanksisco and rode the train back to Ponyville. He was practically skipping back to the clockshop in anticipation to make a new hourglass. He had arived and gathered all of the parts and filled the hourglass with the new blue sand. He flipped it over and smilled as he saw the sand trickle through the small hole at the correct speed. But as he watched he could feel his cock and balls tingle, he knew that he liked making hourglasses, but not so much that it was a fetish.

     As he looked down he could see his cock and balls both expanding in size, it took a moment but he started to realize that his package grew as the sand filled the bottom of the hourglass. After the full 60 minutes of growing his growth had stopped, but the sand was not done with him, he watched as the blue of the sand seemed to drain from the sand and wrapped itself around his cock and balls making it look like he was wearing a speedo, it even had his cutie mark emblasened across the front of it.

    He blushes as he pats his new huge bulge and grins as he then looks at the rest of the blue sand, knowing that there was enough left for at least 10 hours worth…

Pinkamena kills Santa

Pinkamena went over her checklist of what to have for Santa Hooves when he arrives. “Let’s see red phosphorus cookies, scyanide laced milk, and lastly Land mines at bottom of fireplace.” Pinkamena was tired from making her preparations for Santa Hooves and lay down on the couch and fell fast asleep.

A few hours later Santa Hooves started down the chimney and when he hit bottom, he set off the land mines. He flew forward and landed on the floor. “Man that was a hard landing”, he thought to himself.

He then went over to the milk and cookies. He drank the milk and ate the cookies, as he set down the presents he felt very sick. All of a sudden he passed out and then his abdomen exploded. Pinkamena woke up the next morning to see a dead alicorn on her floor. She was glad to see that he had died in her house and she had his bag of presents all to herself.

Pinkie eats Pound Cake

One day at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was enjoying a sweet treat in the kitchen. Mrs. Cake walked in to see Pinkie with a red goo on her mouth, and she asked, “Pinkie what are you eating dear?”

“Pound Cake, and man was he good.”

Mrs. Cake continued to walk on through until it hit her. “Pinkie why did you eat Pound Cake?!”, she asked.

All of a sudden a little colt walked in the room and said, “So Pinkie how was the cake I made and mom what’s with the scared look on your face?”

Mrs. Cake turned around to see her son standing in the doorway. In complete and utter shock she fainted from what had happened.

Pound Cake looked at pinkie and asked, “What’s her problem?”

Fluttershy defeats a Dalek

A large metal machine went through Ponyville destroying everything in its path. When it arrived at the house of Fluttershy it destroyed the door and killed Angel. This greatly upset Fluttershy, and she marched right over to the thing and asked, “Why did you do that?”

The thing replied, “BECAUSE I EXTERMINATE ALL THREATS!”

Fluttershy suddenly became extremely angry with the thing and saying getting closer to it, “What gives you the right to kill a harmless little rabbit.”

The thing again replied, “BECAUSE I EXTERMINATE ALL THREATS, NOW PREPARE TO BE EXTERMINATED!”

Fluttershy became furious with the thin in front of her and began to use her stare on it, before saying “Oh no you don’t!”

The thing replied, “EXTER-MI-NAT, I AM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME!”

As she continued the thing opened up to reveal a squid-like creature crying. Fluttershy told the thing, “Now go home and never comeback!”

The thing replied, “OKAY, I WILL.”

The Accidental Neutering of Big Mac

Big Mac had just gotten a dog for a friend on the farm, but to avoid his pet getting Wionna pregnant, he was going to neuter him. Big Mac went to Ponyville veterinarian clinic to have it done professionally but he didn’t have enough to cover the five thousand bit cost of the procedure. On his way back to the farm he stopped at the library to get a book on how to do it himself.

Upon seeing how to do it Big Mac saw that it would be hard for any stallion to do it. Know this he studied how to do it then a few days later went to a shed on the back of the barn to neuter his pet. Know he could do it easily he had drank several cups of cider and went into the shed. In the table was his dog which he had sedated for the operation. Grabbing the knife on the table he then carefully cut off the dog balls and suddenly fell on his back when he slipped on a small puddle of water from the sink. When he fell he hit his head knocking himself out.

When he awoke he saw that the knife had chopped his own nuts off. In horror he hit his head on the door and ran over to Twilight’s to see if she could help him. Using her magic she reattached them easily.

Now when the subject of stallion neutering pets themselves comes to mind, Big Mac’s theory is, “Have professional do it, don’t do it yourself.”

An OC's Revenge

As the man sat in the room, he asked his OC, “Unique what do you think of the art a friend made of you?

The oc replied, “Unique want out of this cage.

The man replied, “If I let you do you promise not to bite me.

The oc replied, “Unique will try not to bite you”.

The man replied as he opened the cage, “Good enough.”

As he let his oc out of the cage, his oc in an act of resentment bit him. “Ouch! What the hell was that for?” The man yelled.

“That’s for caging me.” Unique replied.

“So what do you think of this art piece?” The man asked.

“Nice.” Unique replied.

After a while the two began to feel a bit tired. The oc realized this was his chance for a real payback. He led his creator into the cage he was once trapped in. Unique then went over his creator’s bed and laid down on it.

The next morning the two woke up at the same time and the man was surprised to see he was in the cage. His oc walked over to the cage to see his creator’s face. Unique asked him, “What do you think of this cage?”

“It is moist in here.” He replied.

“Yeah, there wasn’t a bathroom in there so……” Unique replied.

As the man looked around in the cage he noticed the piles of crap in the cage. With a disgusted look on his face he said, “Unique please let me out.”

Unique gave his creator a sly look then said, “Give me a week to think on it.”

The man yelled as his oc left the room, “UNIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

A Relaxing Spa Treatment

Spitfire was at the Ponyville Day Spa she had paid for a massage, she was tense from the work at the Academy. She was brought to a private room for her massage. The spa pony Aloe was working to relieve her stress. She was enjoying the massage greatly

Aloe told Spitfire, “Zis next pressure point will be a bit sensitive to ze touch, but it will release a lot of stress.”

Spitfire lost in her relaxation replied, “Whatever you say you’re the professional.”

Lotus passed the room her sister was working in when a loud throaty moan was heard. Know what was going n she went inside and glared at her sister.

“Do we need to have zat conversation again sister?” Lotus asked her sister in annoyance.

Spitfire have just came her wings still fully spread, gasped out, “You didn’t say it was that kind of massage.”

Lotus apologized to Spitfire and refunded her money, as an apology. Spitfire walk out still in bliss, that was an amazing massage. I must come back more often.

Twilight encounters a Were-Skunk

Twilight went out wandering through the edge of the Everfree Forrest one night, looking for wild berries Fluttershy requested that her animal friends were hungering for. Twilight agreed, understanding that Fluttershy doesn’t do well in the dark. As she finished and stored the berries in a tree branch for safe keeping, she wandered a bit further to where she’s never particularly been to before. It was a beautiful evening and she decided there was no harm in enjoying the wilderness.

Suddenly, a black tail with a white stripe rushed through some bushes, some mysterious creature was hiding in the shadows stalking her. Confident the creature must be too large to be a skunk, she cautiously advanced towards the bushes to see what it was. Suddenly, an enormous black coated pony jumped from the bushes. Twilight jumped in terror and stumbled back a few steps. The tall figure then pointed it’s rear at her and lifted her long, bushy tail.

"You scared me!" She hissed in an angrily playful tone.

"A were-skunk?!" Twilight gasped in terror, "Please, I’m so sorry! Just don’t spray me!"

The Were-Skunk giggled, enjoying the fear of her prey. "Sorry honey, but fair is fair. You scare me, I spray!"

Twilight groveled on her knees near the brink of tears, "NO! Please, anything but that. Anything!"

The Skunk smiled at her, feeling a fleeting urge to take pity on this poor mare.

Suddenly,

PFFFFFFFBBBBBBBBFFFFRRRRRRRRRRT!

The Were-Skunk ripped flank at Twilight at point-blank range, the stink as terrible as any natural spray from a skunk but reeking of a potency of hot gas.

PPPPPFFFFBBBBFBFBFBBBFFFHHHHRRRRRRRRRRT!

Twilight, on her knees, struggled to keep standing. Now accepting to fact that she must wear this terribly rancid smell, but grateful all the same she wasn’t sprayed into a Were-Skunk.

"Th..coughs..Thank you." She managed to cough out,

The Were-Skunk smiled lovingly at the stinky little mare and took a few whiffs. "Anytime!" She replied happily.

Twilight, tearing up from the intensity of her own reeking body, falls to the ground unconscious. The Were-Skunk passed her as she left, lifting up her hind leg for just one more, PBBBFFFFRRRT and she happily trotted on her way.