Should

by Saph

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Romance
Length: 1259

When there’s a death in Rainbow’s family, she quickly becomes concerned in what she should be feeling.

When there’s a death in Rainbow’s family, she quickly becomes concerned in what she should be feeling. Not to mention the feelings she's getting a certain other pony as well.

—-
Twi is an alicorn in this for anyone who is confused by the temporary cover image.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-23 00:50:02 UTC

Chapter One

Clouds drifted lazily by Rainbow Dash as she flew about aimlessly. The cyan colored pegasus stood out with her rainbow mane in the otherwise clear sky. Rainbow had been flying already for a while. Now, where to land? she thought.

Rainbow looked down below her at the town of Ponyville. She fixed her eyes on the tree that housed Ponyville’s library. I could always pay Twilight a visit, Rainbow mused. The town’s librarian had been in Rainbow’s thoughts more often as of late.

She is cute, Rainbow thought, her face turning a light shade red as she descended towards the library.

~-~

Twilight Sparkle sat quietly on the library floor, a a book lying open in front of her. The library had been relatively quiet recently without her dragon assistant Spike around.

The sound of the door opening drew Twilight’s gaze away from the book in front of her. Ponies seemed to forget sometimes that the public library was a public library, and usually knocked. So of course it would be Rainbow Dash who was entering.

“Hello, Rainbow,” Twilight greeted, “You actually decided to use the door this time?”

“Hey Twi,” said Rainbow, walking over to her side. They stood looking at eachother for a while. No words passed between them.  They both coughed at the same time, looked away, and tried to hide their blushes.

“I’ll just find a book then,” Rainbow sputtered, hopping over the lavender alicorn and over to a bookcase. She walked over to the shelf and took her time reading the spines of each of them. Rainbow selected one at random and sad down rather closely next to Twilight.

Twilight glanced at her then quickly averted her eyes back to her book. Rainbow risked it and casually moved closer, closing the gap between them so that they were brushing up against each other.

Twilight didn’t move for a while she just stared at her book, unable to focus on it’s contents. Minutes passed before she glanced at Rainbow again to find, that Rainbow was completely immersed in the book she was reading.

To Twilights amusement, it was a biology textbook. Twilight almost laughed at the scrunched up expression on Rainbow’s face as she tried to work out some of the more complicated aspects of it. This went on for an hour or so before Twilight glanced over at Rainbow again and noticed she was visibly tired, and was almost leaning on top of her, not that Twilight would mind of course.

Rainbow’s head drooped slowly sideways before resting on Twilight’s back, snoring lightly.

Twilight blushed deeply, and was very glad that Rainbow was asleep. Twilight could feel Rainbow’s head resting on her back, and the rising and falling of Rainbow’s side pressed against her. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling at all.

Twilight sighed before levitating Rainbow slowly in her magic onto a nearby couch. It didn’t seem nearly right to her without Rainbow conscious, almost as if she was skipping steps in a convoluted plan of her creation. It felt like there needed to be a step beforehand.

I should probably ask Rainbow out first. Before something awkward like this happens again. Keeping crushes a secret forever hardly seems rational, Twilight thought, walking up the stairs and into her bedroom. Twilight pulled herself into bed, drawing the blankets in close.

I’ll ask her tomorrow.

~-~

A knock on the library’s door awoke Twilight from her sleep. She rolled off of her bed and was about to call for Spike before she remembered that he wasn’t back yet. The afternoon sunlight flooded through the windows downstairs.

Rainbow Dash was still sleeping on the couch below one of the windows. Rainbow looks adorable when she’s sleeping, Twilight thought, blushing a little. She walked down the stairs, and opened the front door. The grey mailmare, Derpy, hovered in front of the door.

“Hi, Twilight! Is Rainbow here still? I have a letter for her,” said Derpy.

“Yes, Derpy, but she’s sleeping right now,” said Twilight. “If you want, I can take it for her.”

Derpy nodded her consent and pulled a letter out of her bag, handing it to Twilight. “Thanks!” shouted Twilight as Derpy flew off.

Twilight shut the library door and glanced at the letter in her magic, wondering what was written on it. Just then, Rainbow stirred muttering something incoherent. “Right, it’s Rainbow’s letter,” said Twilight to herself.

She walked over to Rainbow’s side on the couch and prodded her in the side with one hoof, “Rainbow. Rainbow, wake up.” All Twilight got as a response was loud thump, as Rainbow had rolled off the couch.

Twilight giggled as Rainbow drew herself up. “It’s not funny, Twi,” Rainbow grumbled, rubbing her head with one hoof. “Oh!” Rainbow exclaimed, “I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep here, Twi, sorry about that.” Rainbow moved to exit the library.

“Wait!” Twilight called, motioning to stop Rainbow. “A letter came for you.” Twilight handed the letter to Rainbow. “So, Dash,” Twilight started, “I was wondering if-”

Twilight said something else, but Rainbow didn’t hear it, she was too focused on the letter Twilight had given her. “Listen, Twi I gotta go,” Rainbow said as she opened the library door, “Something just came up.”

Twilight was left standing alone in the library the feeling of rejection accompanying her. “Right… bye, Dash.”

-~-~-

Rainbow glanced down at the letter in her hooves. She read it once, twice, three times. Rainbow just hovered above a cloud, otherwise motionless. I should feel sad, why don’t I feel sad? THIS happens and I don’t feel anything? He never did anything wrong, infact he was always nice to me… why don’t I feel sad? When was the last time I saw him, one, two years ago?

She almost screamed in frustration with herself. She flew down to a cloud alighting on it softly. Rainbow could picture her father mourning over her grandpa right now. Rainbow could picture him crying, on the brink of depression.

Rainbow sat bolt upright when she realized that there was a very real possibility she would see her father in tears. Funerals exist. There was more than just a possibility, she was already certain she would be required to go.

It was easy to imagine her dad staring at her with a look of great sadness as she told him she didn’t feel sad. The image of her dad walking away back turned. Her friends leaving her as well. After all, if she couldn’t even care for her grandpa, why would she care about her friends?

And Twilight…

Rainbow was on the brink of tears. Come on Rainbow, if you couldn’t even cry over your Grandpa, you should be tougher than this.

Rainbow still couldn’t find that feeling of sadness for her grandfather. She was sad that her dad would be depressed, yes, but that didn’t seem to count. Maybe it was an effect of how young she was when she had visited her Grandfather, or the fact that they only went once or twice a year, but she still couldn’t find this crushing feeling of sadness she knew her dad possessed.

All Rainbow was feeling were the blasted feelings of hanging out with her crush for the entirety of the previous day. Why would Twilight even want to be around a pony like me? This isn’t right.

I can’t even remember what she said. What did she say before I left? Twilight definitely said something, I hope it wasn’t important. Why am I such a bad friend...?

~-~