Pinkie and Friends vs The Bouncy Castle of Doom

by JJ GingerHooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Scootaloo, Adventure, Pinkie Pie
Length: 7675

Pinkie, joined by Scootaloo and Lyra, confront a huge bouncy castle, all in a daring rescue mission to save the other Crusaders! Traps, tricks and treats await them inside! Can they survive its bouncy halls and save the day?

One day outside Ponyville, a huge bouncy castle appeared. Nopony knows why, but it didn't seem to be causing any harm at all.

That is, until the Cutie Mark Crusaders end up getting lost in its bouncy halls. So it falls to Pinkie Pie to venture into the rubbery lair and save the day!

Lyra also tags along for some reason. She's not the hero type.

(A 400 follower special my followers wanted me to do, and I'm stupid enough to do it.)

Published 2014-04-23 19:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-08 18:55:12 UTC

Hop, Skip...

“My sister never told me not to go inside randomly appearing huge bouncy castles, but I think if she ever saw one, she would,” Sweetie Belle said, staring at the strange structure before her and the other Crusaders.

A huge rainbow bouncy castle stood before them, easily comparable in size and scale to an actual fortification a princess would’ve used. The main atrium was the only part comparable to a proper bouncy castle, but the rest promised something much greater.

So obviously Scootaloo wanted a go on it.

“Yeah, but you don’t know that for sure, so you can’t really get in trouble for this, right?” Scootaloo suggested, ignoring Apple Bloom’s skeptical look.

“Yeah, but—”

“When are we ever gonna get this opportunity again, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo turned her head, finally noticing Bloom’s blunt stare. “We could get bouncy castle cutie marks for this, or something.”

There was a pause as Apple Bloom kept staring at her friend. Scootaloo could feel the sass boring into her like a drill.

“Sure! Why not?” she finally said, her features brightening up.

“Well, if you girls are sure…” Sweetie Belle said, shuffling on the spot.

“‘Course I am! When have I ever been—” Scootaloo stopped herself. She knew where that particular avenue went. “Let’s go.” She led the charge, taking the first step. Her hoof sank into the rubbery material of the castle, making it a little awkward to walk normally.

“So where did this even come from anyway?” Apple Bloom asked, her nose wrinkling. Everything smelled artificial.

Scootaloo shrugged, taking her friends through the lobby. “Heck if I know. Maybe Princess Celestia dropped it off or something.”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Likely story.”

The trio came to a hallway, with lit up lanterns attached to the walls. Fireflies were trapped in glass to simulate the effect of fire. They were needed, as the ceiling prevented any sunlight from reaching through.

“Coooool,” Scootaloo cooed as she stepped forth.

“Who’d even make such a big bouncy castle?” Sweetie Belle wondered.

“I dunno, but I’m not sure if I like it,” Apple Bloom remarked. She mentally noted how the color of the walls had seemed to darken. But whether that was the lack of light or not was a question she couldn’t answer with any confidence.

Scootaloo eyes lit up as they turned a corner. “Maybe there’s a dungeon here! Or an armory!”

Apple Bloom snerked. “Yeah, full of rubber suits.”

Scoots shot over an annoyed glare. “Hey, it’d be kinda cool.”

“I guess,” Apple Bloom said, looking up at a candlier. “Not everyday you see somethin’ like this.”

“Exactly! This is way better than just another normal day in Ponyville—okay, normal here is kinda not normal but—what do you think Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo looked behind her, but where there should’ve been a white filly, there was just empty space. “Sweetie Belle?”

Apple Bloom turned and started walking the way they came. “She probably got distracted by the lights. C’mon, we’ll fetch her.”

Scootaloo nodded, following her companion back around the corner. When they arrived, there was no sign of the little filly anywhere.

“Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom called out.

“Maybe she left?” Scootaloo pondered, heading forward. Instead of stepping on the soft floor of the castle, her hoof found something hard. She blinked and slowly looked down at what the hay she had stepped on.

Sweetie Belle’s hoof was coming out of the crease between the wall and floor and it was slowly being drawn in.

“Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo shouted, diving onto the floor and grabbing Sweetie Belle’s hoof with her own. The unicorn gripped on, but her hold was shaky. Apple Bloom didn’t even need to be asked to help, already trying to haul Scootaloo back along with Sweetie.

Scootaloo found her grip on Sweetie slipping, so she held on and pulled back even harder, even if she knew it’d hurt them both. Her muscles strained in protest as she worked them into action. Behind her, she could hear Apple Bloom grunt and feel the force of the earth pony’s powerful pull on her.

It happened quickly. One quick tug by the castle and the hold the two shared was ripped apart. Sweetie Belle’s hoof was sucked into the wall and vanished, while Scootaloo was knocked back into Apple Bloom. The two hastily assembled to their hooves, but could only stare in horror at the space where Sweetie Belle used to be.

“No!” Scootaloo screamed, kicking at the wall. A quick tug by Apple Bloom cleared some of the red mist from her eyes.

“We gotta get outta here and get help! Now,” she instructed, pulling Scootaloo along.

“R-Right.” Scootaloo nodded slightly, running with Apple Bloom, but still looking at the spot where Sweetie Belle had vanished.

She heard her friend’s cry of desperation too late and ran right into a gate that had appeared before the way to the lobby. She bounced off harmlessly, landed on the floor, then skipped across like a stone a few times.

“Darn! Stupid castle’s locked us in! C’mon,” Apple Bloom charged, picking Scootaloo back on her hooves. “We gotta find another way out!”

Scootaloo followed without question, the two sprinting through narrow hallways, very careful to avoid brushing with the walls. They headed up stairs, albeit slowly due to their bouncy nature, and found only more narrow, winding hallways.

She kept focusing on the pony in front of her, that red bow bobbing along as she ran. The familiar sight of it went all too quickly as Apple Bloom was suddenly sucked into the floor, her bottom half completely obscured.

“Aah! Help!” the earth filly screamed, reaching her forelegs towards Scootaloo.

The pegasus fought through the fear that was building in her body. Her breathing was ragged, her heartbeats thundering in her ears, but she held onto Apple Bloom for dear life and pulled with all her might.

The castle had the upper hand, teasing her by pulling Apple Bloom in with short, sudden tugs. Scootaloo kept on fighting, losing her grip as the castle pulled further. Reacting with quick pegasi instinct, she dove down and bit on Apple Bloom’s bow.

Her teeth, jaw and neck all ached as she used up her last reserves of strength. Yet the castle was finished, pulling Apple Bloom with such force it threatened to suck Scootaloo in too. There was a tearing sound as the bow ripped itself from Apple Bloom, forcing Scootaloo back into the wall, bouncing off onto the floor.

“Apple Bloom! I-I’m sorry! I just—” Fear caught her in the throat, sweat trickling down her face. With both her friends gone, there was only one thing Scootaloo could’ve done.

She ran.

By now, a crowd of ponies had gathered around the bouncy castle, gawking at it in interest. Fillies and colts fidgeted and ran around the bouncy structure, eager to get on and have their turn. The parents, however, didn’t allow it, under the advice of Twilight Sparkle.

Applejack and Rarity shifted nervously on their hooves, although the former was slightly better at hiding it. Between a noticeable lack of the Crusaders for a few hours, and the appearance of the castle, suspicious things were afoot indeed.

The farmer pony was the first to speak up. “I say we go in there and get those fillies out of there!” Rarity nodded with her.

“We can’t. At least, not yet,” Twilight advised, staring at the castle with narrowed eyes. “We don’t know how dangerous this castle is; we can’t just step in without any prior planning.”

“It’s just a bouncy castle, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, hovering in the air and grinning as she eyed the thing. “An awesome looking one! Y’know, it’s a crime not to let us in and have some fun.”

“Isn’t your ‘sister’ Scootaloo in there?” Rarity asked, raising a scandalized eyebrow.

“Er… yeah. I guess so.” Rainbow fluttered down to the ground, rubbing her neck and laughing sheepishly.

“Oh, we have to find them soon. They’re probably so lost, cold, hungry…” Fluttershy mumbled the rest of such problems the crusaders could’ve faced.

“And we will,” Twilight affirmed. She then looked at the last member of their group, who was repeatedly poking the castle. “Pinkie…”

Pinkie suddenly stood at attention, rushing over to Twilight. “This is bad. Like, super bad. The castle walls are way too frolicsome, the PVC extremely flippant, and the strength of the whole thing is too jittery.”

Confused faces went all around the group. Pinkie sighed and explained, “This castle is really bouncy and if it pops we’re all done for.” She made a wheezing sound, trailing her hoof off in erratic directions, before making a ‘boom’ sound.

“Oh my…” Rarity exclaimed.

“Exactly!” Pinkie turned, facing the structure, puffing out her chest with her legs spread apart in a totally brave pose. “That’s why I’m going in and getting the fillies out of there.”

“Pinkie, you can’t do that by yourself,” Twilight said, stepping forth and resting a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. “We’re your friends. Let us help you.”

“I still say a bouncy castle is pretty harmless…” Dash grumbled.

“No, you can’t go in!” Pinkie cried.

“Why not?” came the chorus of replies.

Pinkie got a fearful look in her eyes. A veteran’s glaze. “I’ve seen it happen before…”

“Seen what happen, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

“It was a day just like this one… except with a much smaller bouncy castle. And no missing ponies. But the weather was kinda the same. So yeah, just like this one.” She hurried up once she saw Twilight roll her eyes. “Some poor colt bounced way too hard on the floor, and then he went up and hit the wall, then the other wall, then the other wall, and again and again and again back and forth back and forth!” Pinkie’s eyes quickly darted from left to right. “It was horrible! I had to catch the poor li’l guy midair to save him, but it was too late… he… he had already thrown up on the castle!”

Fluttershy and Rarity both winced.

“So I’m going in, by myself, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Pinkie told them, posing with her chest puffed out.

“But Pinkie—” Twilight was cut off by a pink hoof on her mouth.

“Nothing,” Pinkie repeated. “Only I can fight this battle.” Twilight slowly nodded, then Pinkie drew her hoof away. A bright smile than flashed on her face. “See ya girls later!” she cheerily said, skipping into the bouncy castle, bouncing a little in the lobby before heading into the narrow hallways.

Five minutes and no sign of the girls. Things were heating up. And that wasn’t just because the bouncy castle had awful ventilation. A lot of the rooms Pinkie had checked were just that: rooms. They had no special qualities to them other than filling up space in the castle. The moment Pinkie stepped into one, she just went back out immediately because obviously nothing would be in such boring rooms.

She sighed, still walking. It was kinda funny, how she walked. It was kinda like she was on the moon, only without the scary nightmare demons. It was just a shame she didn’t have any of her friends to talk about that with.

Her ears twitched. Somepony or something was in a room nearby. She could hear some sort of… munching sound. Carefully, she traced her ear along the walls and pinpointed the sound to a specific place. Maybe something exciting was in one of these boring ol’ rooms?

Pinkie stepped in and the brilliant sight before her was…

Lyra munching on a chocolate bar.

“Eh, close enough,” Pinkie said to herself. Lyra looked up, not seeming too surprised at Pinkie’s presence. She sat against the wall, smelling more minty than she usually did. Obviously she was eating mint chocolate, then. “Hi Lyra!”

“Shec,” Lyra mumbled, halfway through a mouthful of chocolate. Pinkie waited as the unicorn slowly devoured her chocolate bar, the silence giving her incredible detail of Lyra’s munching sounds.

“Crud,” Lyra muttered as she got some chocolate on her belly. She lazily wiped it off, smudging it into her coat.

Pinkie resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Finally, Lyra swallowed her final mouthful. “Okay, that was good. Hey Pinkie.”

“Lyyyyyyyyraaaaa, what are you doing here?” Pinkie asked innocently.

Lyra snorted. “First, don’t draw my name out like that. Bon Bon does that all the time. And speaking of her, she kicked me out of the house for a while because I forgot to do the dishes last night.”

“Well that seems a bit harsh—”

“For the tenth time in a row.”

Pinkie blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So I thought I’d just chill here until Bons cools off. Seemed like a pretty cool place.” Lyra shrugged, standing up and tossing her chocolate wrapper to the floor.

“Hey!” Pinkie exclaimed, thrusting a hoof at Lyra. “Pick that up right now!”

Lyra pressed her back against the wall. “Sheesh, Pinkie. It’s just a wrapper!”

“It’s littering. And only the meanest of ponies litter in bouncy castles. So pick it up.” Her voice took on a sudden, threatening tone. “Now.”

Lyra’s terrified eyes never looked away from Pinkie as she bent down and picked up her wrapper. She positively flinched even when Pinkie gave her a quick smile.

“Great! Remember: littering is for losers! Now,” Pinkie slung a hoof around the minty fresh mare, “we’re gonna save ourselves some fillies.”

“We are?” Lyra asked, keeping still.

“We are.”

“Y’know, I didn’t exactly sign up for this.” Lyra looked her body over. She was getting a little tubby in the tummy department. “I’m not the hero type.”

“I don’t care. You littered, so this is your community service for the day.” Pinkie patted Lyra gently on the head. “It’ll be over before you know it. So let’s go!”

Levitating her wrapper up, Lyra reluctantly followed Pinkie out of the room. “So… who got lost in here?”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders, of course!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.

“Of course…” Lyra grumbled. “When have they never not messed up before?”

“Never,” Pinkie replied, then turned her head so she could look at Lyra. “But they’re just kiddies. Ya gotta let them take their tumbles, or they’ll never learn.”

Lyra took a moment to consider this candy nugget of wisdom. “I guess. But still, some of the things they do are major fu—”

“Shush!” Pinkie commanded, suddenly standing still.

Lyra covered her hoof with her mouth. “Oops. Sorr—”

“Shush!”

The unicorn quickly nodded.

“I can feel something…” Pinkie crouched low, putting an ear to the floor. Tiny itty bitty vibrations were in the floor, coming from somewhere she couldn’t really determine. At least not yet. But somepony was close and they were running.

“I might have found them! Kinda!” Pinkie suddenly took off into a gallop, the bouncy floor not affecting her speed in the slightest.

Lyra, however, was not so skilled. “Hey! Wait up!” she cried, doing her best to maintain a good speed. It resulted in a giraffe’s walk of near misses and stumbles.

Pinkie kept up the chase, occasionally putting her head close to the ground to redetermine where the vibrations were coming from. This gave Lyra enough time to catch up, but only barely. As soon as she caught sight of her target, the pink mare disappeared round a corner.

It had only been a minute or two of this and already Lyra was sweating, her legs buckling under the sheer exertion she had to give. Eventually she lost sight of Pinkie for good and proceeded to kneel down on the floor, panting like an overweight dog who had just tried to catch a tennis ball.

She couldn’t rest for long though. Something round rammed its way into her flank. Lyra screamed, overriding the grunt that came from behind her. She stood up and turned.

“Aaah!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaah!” the newcomer screamed even louder, if that was possible. Then again, she was Scootaloo.

“Did you just—?” Lyra asked, pointing an accusing hoof at Scootaloo.

The filly nodded rapidly.

“Oh Sweet Celestia you rammed into my ass?!” Lyra shrieked, sitting down. She then winced. “Ow!” She narrowed her eyes at Scoots. “You ruined my… my bum!”

“You were the one in my way, lying down for no good reason!” Scootaloo defended, rubbing her face desperately and then wiping her hooves on the floor. “Ew ew ew ew ew…” Gagging sounds soon followed.

Lyra held her head. “I can’t believe this! This is—”

“Totally gross! Why would—”

“This even happen—”

“To—”

“Me!” they both shouted in unison.

“And Pinkie makes three!” Pinkie exclaimed, popping out of nowhere.

The terrified screaming resumed for another good couple of minutes.

“Wow! That sure was fun, girls!” Pinkie giggled, sitting down between the two worn out ponies. “Lyra was all like: ‘eeeeeeeeeek!’ and Scoots was all: ‘gaaaaaaaaaaah!’ and then I was like: “Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaargh!’”

Lyra was lying down on her back, hoof on her belly, struggling to regain her breath after all the screaming and running. “You and me… we have a very different definition of fun…” she rasped.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo was sitting opposite her, leaning her head against the wall. Her mane was all scruffy and her wings occasionally jittered. She took a deep breath, rubbed her eyes, then exhaled. “Such a bad day…”

“Aaw, what happened?” Pinkie stepped over, wrapping a foreleg around the filly. Blinking, she peered around. “And where’s your other Crusaders?”

“That’s the thing…” Scootaloo ran a hoof through her mane, then suddenly flinched away from the wall. It was only Pinkie’s reassuring foreleg draped around her that prevented the filly from bolting off altogether.

“Scootaloo, we need to know what happened to them, okay?” Pinkie said, her tone surprisingly serious. It had a light edge to it; the kind of way guards would talk to children when asking them questions about a case. “Otherwise we can’t find them and that’d be really bad.”

Scoots nodded, her gaze shifting to Lyra. “You might wanna stand up…”

Lyra weakly lifted a hoof in the air. “I’m fine here…”

Snorting, Scootaloo turned back to Pinkie. “It’s the whole stupid castle.” Scowling, she whacked the floor as hard as she could. “It ate them! It just… sucked in Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle! They’re gone, Pinkie! And it’s all my fault because I wanted to go into this place, like an idiot!”

Pinkie ruffled the filly’s mane gently. “Nah, it’s not your fault. This place looked really fun to me at first too! And don’t worry about your friends.”

Scootaloo did a double take. “Wh-what?”

“Yeah! They’ll be fine. Bouncy castles aren’t all that dangerous,” Pinkie confirmed.

“They’re not?” Scoots asked, tilting her head.

“Nope! It’s the other ponies. All that bouncing about, some bigger pony can land on a smaller pony and that really hurts!” Pinkie explained, hugging Scootaloo lightly.

Lyra rubbed her flank, groaning.

“So… where are Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo questioned.

“If I had to guess…” Pinkie rubbed her chin, making a thoughtful noise. “The heart of the castle.”

“Where?”

“Okay, maybe the stomach then,” Pinkie continued. “So that means… we have to go deeper.”

“You’re not making any sense!” Scootaloo cried, flailing her forelegs around.

“Basically,” Pinkie began, holding Scoots’ forelegs in place carefully. “We gotta go down into the depths of this castle, find your friends, then maybe find out why this castle is here in the first place. You get all that?”

“Er, yeah. That’s the easy part. The hard part is how,” Scootaloo stressed.

“Don’t worry about that!” Pinkie assured, patting the filly on the head. “Let your Auntie Pinkie take care of that for ya!”

“You’re not my auntie,” Scootaloo said, flicking her ear.

“Oh yeah. I guess that’d make me Dashie’s sister, huh?” Pinkie scrunched her muzzle, getting up. “And her aunt. Weird. Anyway, c’mon.” Pinkie walked by Lyra and stomped on the ground, causing the unicorn to bounce up and somehow land on her hooves. “Let’s go.”

Lyra stood there, dumbstruck, oblivious to Scootaloo walking past. “How did—” She shook her head vigorously. “No. Don’t ask questions. Today is not a day to be questioned,” she told herself. Blinking, she realized she was alone again. She called after the pair, galloping up behind them. “Hey! Wait up!”

They weren’t crusaders, far from it, but Scootaloo tagged along close to the adult mares, staying in between them. She sniffed the air, smelling like mint bubblegum. The two adults mares received very confused glances, but they weren’t paying attention to Scoots to see them.

“So… do you know where we’re going?” Scootaloo asked them.

“I have no idea!” Pinkie delightfully replied.

“A map would be helpful,” Lyra suggested.

“Yeah but that’d be waaaaaay too convenient, and I don’t think this castle is playing nice.” Pinkie shot the walls a glance, eyes narrowed.

“Well…” Lyra began, holding out a hoof to block Pinkie. “Looks like we might be getting somewhere.”

Scootaloo stopped just before the drop Lyra was pointing to. Down below was a big empty room. Like the gynamism that Cheerilee always promised they’d eventually get. The drop wasn’t too big, but it was enough to maybe cause a bruise if they fell down hard.

“So, who wants to go in first?” Lyra left the question hanging.

Pinkie was the one who picked it up. “Me!” But before she dove in, she looked at Lyra. “Also, I should probably mention this now, but don’t land on your head.”

“Er, obviously,” Lyra replied. “I don’t want to snap my neck.”

“Nah, not that,” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “It’s just that if your horn impales the castle too hard, you might pop it, and then we’re doomed.”

“Y’know, the fact that you didn’t completey ham up the ‘doomed’ makes me actually kinda worried we would be doomed if that happened,” Scootaloo snarked.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Pinkie,” Lyra said, rubbing her horn, a troubled look plastered across her features.

“Okay, so with that all said and done… wheeeee!” Pinkie took the plunge, diving down onto the room below. She landed safely, pressing into the floor, then bouncing back up. Reaching the height of her jump, she passed the others, waving at them. “C’mon! It’s safe!”

“This could be…” Scootaloo edged towards the drop. “Kinda awesome!” she cheered, jumping down below. Like Pinkie, she too jumped about, her wings buzzing all the way.

“Yeah… I think I’ll just go down like a normal pony,” Lyra said, shuffling over to the edge. Kneeling down before it, her horn glowed a brilliant amber as translucent magical hands appeared over her hooves. She gripped the edge with them, then carefully slid down the edge. All the way she winced, grunted and cursed, her forelegs becoming red-raw as they ground against the wall.

“Aw, you’re no fun, Lyra!” Pinkie commented, still bouncing high. She smiled brightly as Scootaloo made a perfect arc over her.

“I’m just not sure I could land jumps that high, is all,” Lyra responded, walking across the room. She stopped when she saw the room’s exit. “But I guess I’ll have to…” she lamented. The exit was exactly like the entrance. A high up ledge leading to a hall.

Lyra huffed and prepared herself for a bounce, when the floor suddenly shook. Blinking, she looked at Pinkie and Scootaloo—both were in the air at the time of the jump. Freezing, she glanced around the room for any sign of intruders. The room was blank, spare for the pink and orange blurs hopping around the room.

Still not convinced, Lyra took a cautious step forward. The moment her hoof touched the floor, something raised up from the ground with frightening speed. It threw Lyra off the floor, tossing her uselessly nearby. She didn’t land with any sort of grace whatsoever. In fact, it was like a cake splatting on the ground.

Regardless, she recovered just in time to see a figure towering over her. It was lanky, with a huge smiley face plastered onto it. It’s arms were extremely long and constantly flailed about, completely without direction.

“What the…” Scootaloo’s jaw dropped as she saw the thing rise.

“Oh no!” Pinkie gawked, pointing at the strange thing with heightened urgency. “It’s a wacky waving inflatable leg flailing tube mare!!”

Scootaloo could hardly believe her ears. “A what?!”

“A wacky waving inflatable leg flailing tube mare! They’re deadly to the unsuspecting pony!” Pinkie explained. Her sights then set towards Lyra. “Run Lyra!”

Lyra jerked her head towards Pinkie, then towards the tube mare. “Got it!” Whipping around, Lyra covered as much distance as she could from the tube mare.

The ground shook and another tube mare erupted from the ground, right in front of Lyra. She skidded to a stop and made a sharp turn, slipping on the ground but recovering before she could fall flat on her face. But everywhere she galloped, more tube mares appeared, until the entire room was full of them, their arms flailing about like a rainbow forest of madness.

Lyra came to a stop, a single drop of sweat running down her head as she stared at the tube mares surrounding her, closing her in. She tried to say something, yet all she could do was make a strangled noise in her throat. She gulped and braced for the inevitable.

Author's Note

A huge thanks to all my followers for making this happen. You're all great. If you're not one of my followers and you hate this fic, don't blame them, blame me for being crazy enough to do this.

And Jump...

“Lyra! You gotta get out of there right now!” Pinkie screamed, hovering in the air somehow. She was unaware the extremely puzzled looks from Scootaloo when she turned to look at her. “And you have to get to the other side before they attack!”

Scootaloo blinked, her wings twitching. “Attack?!” she managed to exclaim before going back down for another bounce. She landed gracefully, bending her legs and taking off, the impact of her jump helping her gain momentum.

The moment she left the ground, a tube mare nearby moved with frightening speed, slapping the spot where she was with it’s head. A loud smack resonated in the room.

Lyra blinked. “Meep.”

The tube mares turned towards her, almost hauntingly.

“Run Lyra!!” Pinkie bellowed, bouncing on the head of a tube mare before it went down for a hit.

The unicorn wasted no time in getting away, galloping off as fast as she could. However, she wasn’t exactly a dainty runner. Her hoofs pressed down deep into the floor, slowing down her speed considerably. Before she knew it, a tube mare had clipped her barrel, sending her down onto her side. The other tube mares took their chance and started pounding on Lyra relentlessly, her cries echoing through the chamber.

It hurt, sure, but their attacks weren’t exactly bone crushing. More like cruisin’ for a bruisin’. Lyra lay there, completely pinned, fear for her life getting very quickly replaced by annoyance and then outright rage.

“Don’t just—ow—do nothing! Help—damn it—me!” Lyra shouted.

“Scoots, just go for the exit!” Pinkie ordered. She narrowed her eyes at the tube mares attacking Lyra. “I got this.”

“Uh… alright,” Scootaloo replied, nodding slowly. She bounced towards the other ledge, her small size and natural agility helping her avoid the tube mares. Her hooves pressed down on the floor and, grinning, she did a few flips in the air. “Woohoo!”

Back in the fray, Pinkie growled ferociously, latching onto the back of one of the tube mares assaulting Lyra. It bent forward, smacking the minty mare, then whipped its head back with such a sudden force that Pinkie flew off.

She grinned. Soooo predictable.

She flew towards the far wall, turning herself around so she’d land hind hooves first. The momentum pushed her deeply into it, but even she had to obey the laws of physics sometimes. Equal force came back at her, sending her springing back towards the tube mare. Her eyes watered at the sheer speed she was going, as she simply held a hoof out.

Her strong legs cushioned most of the blow for her. The pink bullet tore through the tube mare like it was nothing, and she showed no signs of stopping.

“There can only be one!” she screamed, as her victim’s head floated gently down to the floor.

Scootaloo, who had by now safely reached the other side, could only watch as a pink blur rebounded between the walls, piercing all unfortunate tube mares who waggled in her way. The only thing the filly could do was gape in astonishment.

Lyra had never felt a mixture of relief and sheer terror before. Pain was a familiar ‘friend’ to her. She limped onward, covered in bruises like a bad banana. No bones had been broken, and no blood spilled, but it still stung damn it. Her eyes desperately tried to keep track of Pinkie and she flinched whenever the mare got close.

She made it to the ledge where Scootaloo was, yet there was still a good bit of distance between her and safety.

“You’re gonna have to jump up!” Scootaloo shouted, over the din of Pinkie colliding with everything.

Lyra winced, her legs filled with non-life-threatening pain that was quickly becoming annoying. “I don’t want to,” she whined.

“Well I don’t see a ladder you can climb up,” Scootaloo told her.

“Can’t I just rest?” Lyra suddenly froze as Pinkie sped right past her, sending all her hair straight up on end. “On second thought…” She scrunched up her face in concentration, mustering up the effort to overcome the pain. Her legs bent down, then straightened, propelling her up into the air with all her might.

Lyra gained an air time of less than a second before falling flat onto her side. “Owowowoooow….”

Scootaloo applied hoof to face. “I can’t believe this is really happening…” she mumbled to herself, then peered down at Lyra. “C’mon! You can do it! I know you can…” Scootaloo sighed, with a single trace of enthusiasm. “This is just weird.”

The filly sat on her haunches, looking between the living party bullet bouncing around the room, and the collapsed adult mare, groaning and moaning to herself. “That settles it: Scootaloo, you are officially the only grown-up in the building.”

Rubbing her eyes and exhaling yet another disgruntled sigh, she gazed back down at Lyra. “Can’t you, I dunno, use your magic or something?”

“Who do you think I am, Twilight Sparkle?!” Lyra replied, frowning before going back to some more moaning.

“No, ‘cause if you were, you could’ve just flown up.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Duh. But you must know some spell or something. Anything!”

Lyra closed her eyes, rolling onto her back. “I’m a musician, kid, not a mage. The most I can do is…” Her eyes flashed open. “Of course! I’m such an idiot!” she cried, smacking herself on the forehead, an exhausted smile on her lips.

That expression remained on her face for way longer than seemed necessary. “Ow,” she deadpanned.

Her body may have been bruised, but magic was still in the cards. Lyra concentrated, her horn glowing, as those luminous hands of hers appeared on the end of her forehooves. That was the easy part. The hard part was actually getting into gear and moving.

Grunting, she managed to get onto her hooves (and hands) despite her body’s aching and protesting. She wiped away a bead of sweat from her face, staring up at the wall in front of her.

“It’ll be over soon…” she quietly told herself. She repeated the mantra over and over, her hands gripping the walls. Then with a burst of strength, she started heaving herself up. Scootaloo started counting, leaning against the wall up above.

“Eugh!” Lyra almost screamed, sweat running down her features. “Why me… why me?!” she asked the world. It didn’t answer, but her body did in the form of more aching. Her joints were sore now, constantly grinding to keep her going up.

Eventually, mercifully, she reached the stop. Her chest flopped against the floor, as she dragged the rest of her up in a manner similar to a slug. She stared at Scootaloo, who had stopped counting to herself.

“Eleven. That’s eleven new words I’ve learnt today,” the filly said.

Lyra’s face went even redder than it was from the excursion. “Forget those words and…” She rolled over, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “Oh sweet Celestia…” she muttered to herself. “Forget them. Don’t repeat them. Ever.”

“Uh-huh.” Scootaloo’s interest went over to Pinkie, who was still going. “So, any thoughts on how we’re gonna slow her down?”

“She’s Pinkie,” Lyra rasped. “And please say she has a milkshake or something somewhere. I’m parched.”

“So… what we’re saying is we wait?” Scootaloo asked.

“And catch our breath,” Lyra breathed. “Yeah.”

“C’mon, it can’t have been that bad. I’ve been through worse,” Scootaloo retorted. “Mostly tree sap related accidents.”

Lyra turned onto her side, away from the filly. “Whatever.”

Lyra had almost fallen asleep when Pinkie had changed trajectory, bouncing off the floor, to the wall, and flying straight for her. “Lyraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”

The tired pony blinked, going onto her back to look at what was coming. Pinkie collided with her, wrapping her limbs around Lyra, and dragging her across the rubbery floor with her momentum. Lyra could only scream as her back ground against the floor, creating an incredible amount of heat and a horrible rubbery squeal. Scootaloo winced and covered her eyes.

“Lyra! Are you okay?!” Pinkie asked, staring down at her.

The unicorn’s face was frozen into a pained visage.

“Oopsie.”

A grumpy Lyra sat facing away from Pinkie, her back horribly red and raw. She felt a tingly sensation as Pinkie tenderly rubbed her back. With icing.

“Icing? Are you serious?” Scootaloo asked, looking on equal amounts of childlike curiosity and skepticism.

Pinkie nodded, focusing on her task. “It’s the best I’ve got right now.”

Lyra sighed. “I’m going to smell like a freakin’ strawberry cake.”

A sympathetic wince flashed across Pinkie’s face. “Sorry, Lyra. I just wanted to cuddle you and check if you were okay.” Crestfallen eyes fell upon Lyra’s back. “I guess I made everything worse…”

Lyra closed her eyes, feeling a surprisingly soothing effect from the icing. “It’s fine, Pinkie. You did save me from those… things, after all.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie agreed, although it lacked her usual enthusiasm. “Wanna proper hug?”

“Sure. Just not from behind,” Lyra said.

Pinkie hopped around Lyra, then brought her into a careful embrace. Lyra rested her head on Pinkie’s shoulder, while the latter worked around Lyra to apply more icing. Things fell silent between them.

Scootaloo coughed onto her hoof. “Er, hate to break up the nice moment, but shouldn’t we get going?”

“Yeah, maybe we should,” Lyra said, breaking off from Pinkie. She gave her a tired smile and then stood up. “Thanks.”

“No problemo,” Pinkie chirped, licking the icing from her hooves.

“Guess we keep walking then. Nopony was kind enough to include a map,” Lyra snarked. She started walking, grimacing as she felt her back muscles move about, unsettling the cold icing on her back. “Ew.”

“Weeeell… we just gotta find the heart of the castle!” Pinkie suggested, bouncing onto her hooves.

“The heart of the castle?” Scootaloo repeated.

“Yep!” Pinkie’s tail flicked Scootaloo in the air, prompting a surprised yelp from the filly that soon turned into a devilish laugh when she landed on Pinkie’s back. “That’s gotta be where whoever or whatever made this thing is gonna be lurking, right? Or maybe that’s where your friends are! Either way, we’ll get some answers to some very confusing questions.”

“Like where you got that icing?” Scootaloo replied.

“I don’t need the answer to that…” Lyra muttered, shaking her head.

The group ventured onward, coming to a large flat path laid out in the castle. It was still rubbery, of course, but it slanted at a slight angle.

“Huh,” Lyra said, poking her head into the room. It was large. Very large. The path seemed to loop around before going down deeper into the castle.

“I wonder what it’s for…” Scootaloo pondered, peeking over Pinkie’s pink puffy mane.

A thud from nearby only prompted more questions. “Er,” Lyra began, “what the hay was—”

Lyra cut herself off with a yell, jumping back and bumping into Pinkie. A huge red ball rolled past the spot Lyra just left and kept going down into the dark below. Everypony took a moment to catch their breath, during which time another ball came rolling down.

“Okay, so this is a problem,” Lyra said.

“Any chance you can use your… Pinkieness to get us through that super quickly?” Scootaloo looked to Lyra. “Did you see where to go?”

“Not down. It’s just a void of darkness there,” Lyra commented, flinching as another ball came rolling down.

“But that’ll be where the heart is! I’m sure!” Pinkie cried, straining to try and see as much as she could without getting crushed by the giant bouncy spheres.

“No, I think it’s just a really long way down,” Lyra said. “I’m accepting all of this crazy cra—mmph!”

Pinkie’s hoof had lodged itself in Lyra’s mouth. She narrowed her eyes and slowly shook her head. Scootaloo blinked in confusion. A nod was all that was needed for Pinkie to let go.

“Crazy stuff, right. I’m dealing with all of that, but if you expect me to take that big a leap of faith, then I’d rather stay with those tube mares.” Lyra gestured her hoof towards the direction that didn’t lead to an abyss. “We’re going up. We can find a safer way down later.”

“Wow Lyra, you’re really taking this seriously.” Pinkie beamed. “Proooud of yooou!”

“I’ve been beaten, bruised, had to climb up a wall all by myself, and then got real bad rubber burn on my back,” Lyra replied, her face set in seriousness. “At this rate, I’ll probably end up in intensive care by the end of the day. I have got to start taking this more seriously.”

Scootaloo leaned out from Pinkie, glancing at Lyra. “So has that serious brain of yours come up with anything yet?”

Lyra pouted her lips, frowning. “No.”

“I got a plan!” Pinkie announced, facing the path.

“You wanna tell us about it or are you gonna do another superpony Pinkie moment?” Scootaloo said, poking Pinkie’s shoulder.

“Nah, you can try this one at home!” Pinkie chirped. The moment one of the balls rolled by, she set off at an intense gallop, heading up the path.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!” she and Scootaloo screamed in unison, leaving a bewildered Lyra behind. At the top of the path, they rounded a corner, coming to a square room with a big hole in the top. Pinkie dived off the path, just before another ball dropped in and rolled all the way down.

“Screaming and running,” Pinkie said, looking back at Scootaloo with a smile. “Always works!”

Scootaloo nodded, opting to catch her breath and calm down some.

Meanwhile, Lyra was nervously shuffling on her hooves, trying to steady her breathing. Severall balls passed her, but she never took any of the openings.

“Okay, Pinkie wasn’t running that fast, so maybe I’ll make it too?” She nodded to herself, timing the moments between balls rushing past her. But that didn’t put her mind at ease. If anything, it only made her feel worse.

“Okay, okay, okay,” she told herself. “Just… go for it.”

She started moving as a ball appeared, being so close that she could practically feel it brush against her coat as it rolled away. Either because she was in a pure panic, or that she thought Pinkie’s idea truly did work, she screamed loudly as she galloped. The path was flat so her hooves didn’t sink into it so easily, which was a small boon. Just like Pinkie had, she rounded the corner, but skidded and nearly hit the wall. She let out a panicked yelp and put even more energy into her stride.

A ball fell down in front of her and started ominously moving. Lyra gritted her teeth and desperately tried to run out of the way, only to have an immensely strong pulling force act upon her tail, tugging her to the side. Despite the pain, she managed to bear it as she was yanked out of the ball’s way. Amazingly, she landed on something softer than the material of the castle: Pinkie.

“Thanks, Pinkie,” Lyra said, getting off her savior.

“Don’t mention it!” Pinkie stood up, then turned her attention to the smirking little filly beside her. “Whatcha so happy about, Scoots?”

“We’re kicking this castle’s butt, that’s what! One stupid trap at a time!” the filly cheered, her wings buzzing.

“Pfft, Pinkie’s done all the hard stuff,” Lyra said. Her gaze went to the looming hole above them. “Eesh. I could’ve been really hurt by that.”

“Hey, we can have halfsies,” Pinkie suggested.

Lyra turned back to her. “What?”

“Well I pulled you out of the way, but if you were any slower, I wouldn’t have been able to reach ya. So we both did the hard work there,” Pinkie explained.

Lyra couldn’t help but feel a small smile form on her face. “Yeah, probably. Thanks.”

“No prob—”

“Can we please stop having sappy moments after every trap? We’re gonna be here forever if we do!” Scootaloo protested, inclining her head towards a set of stairs that led further up.

“Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie sunnily replied, hopping up the stairs.

It was a pretty long walk, and the spongey nature of the floor made things particularly gruelling. The stairs didn’t seem to have an end in sight, but at least the walls had paintings now. Odd, abstract paintings but something to look at all the same. There were splotches of color all mashed together with odd shapes and lines. That’s all anypony could really say about them.

“Pinkie, can you see anything up there?” Lyra asked, trailing behind the pair.

“Nope! Only darkness and nothingness. And it keeps getting further and further away!” Pinkie answered, soldiering on without a care.

Lyra blinked. “What?”

“Yeah. It’s like we’re going nowhere,” Pinkie said.

Lyra took a moment to look between what lay ahead (nothing) and what lay behind them (something). “One sec,” she said, trotting down the stairs from whence they came. In next to no time at all, she was back in the room with the balls.

Her head strained with the echoes of an headache. “Eugh. We do not need this.” Rubbing her head, she stomped up the stairs, joining the others. “It’s official: we’re going nowhere.”

“But this is the only way I saw to go!” Scootaloo protested.

“Well it’s a dead end either way. I guess we have to…” Lyra slowed as the next word came out of her mouth. “... backtrack.” Her eye twitched.

“We can’t do that! There has to be a trick to this thing. Something that unlocks the rest of the way.” Scootaloo snorted, kicking the walls. “Stupid stairs. This doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Which is why…” Lyra hung on the last word, spinning to face Pinkie. “You’ll know what to do, right?”

Pinkie scratched her chin, peering about. “Hum. Hum hum.” Her focus settled on one of the paintings. “Check the paintings. Maybe there’s a button behind one!”

Lyra and Scootaloo shared a glance, then the three of them started moving paintings. It seemed like a hopeless cause, until Scootaloo piped up excitedly. “I got something!”

Pinkie and Lyra rushed over, looking at the space behind the painting Scootaloo had moved. Pinkie grinned in delight. “It’s a big red button!”

Lyra gently nudged her away from the button. “Why do I get a strange ominous feeling from this…”

“Well it obviously opens up a secret passage or something, or stops the stairs from repeating,” Scootaloo said.

“Or, it’s a trap,” Lyra replied. She sighed, running a hoof through her mane. “And I’m tired of all these ridiculous traps.”

Scootaloo snorted. “Just because you got beaten up by some silly tube mares.”

Lyra growled, scowling at the filly. “I got unlucky, okay? It doesn’t mean anything.” She shuffled, feeling the icing on her back, now all crusty. The thought of of getting that off came to mind and she winced.

“Okay! I’m pressing it!” Pinkie announced, slamming her hoof on the button.

“No!” Lyra shouted.

“Yes!” Scootaloo cried in unison.

And that’s when the stairs disappeared.

Although it wasn’t that as much as them turning into a ramp. A very steep ramp, that offered no leverage for the ponies. They started to slide down, back towards where they came from. Thankfully, they didn’t go as fast or as hard as Lyra’s backslide across the floor from earlier.

At first, they were all disappointed. That soon changed when a hole opened up in the floor, leading to a dark abyss below.

“Uh… maybe this will lead to the heart?” Pinkie sheepily suggested.

Lyra folded her forelegs over her chest, her face surprisingly calm. It was the look of a pony who was resigned to their fate. Scootaloo was the completely opposite, her wings flailing in mud bursts, her legs desperately struggling to gain grip on the slide.

“No no no no!” the filly cried, feeling her hindlegs hang over the hole. Half a second later, the rest of her dropped in, followed by her companions.

The three of them plunged into the dark, Pinkie and Scootaloo screaming in loud discord. Lyra felt the wind rushing past her body, too tired and fed up to make a big show of the situation. All she could do was sigh as they all fell together, down into the depths below.